Dilf Risotto sit me on your lap and shotgun smoke into my mouth pretty please. Coo at me and murmur soft things when I cough. Tell me it’s very cute and it’s okay… you’ll help me learn. You’ve got me.
• He has such beautiful silvery gray hair, you can oftentimes see him waiting for his kids after school lets out, or if you’re lucky, you can see him at his day job of tattoo artist/piercer with his hair tied into a loose bun. His tattoos are lightly faded, and you can tell which ones are designs picked out by his child and which ones were designed by him personally. His stubble is oftentimes neglected, though it’s not a bad thing per se.
• He hasn’t given up his gothic flair though. Whenever you see him in his free time, his biceps are not hard to miss under the skintight corset tops he’s fond of.
• However, despite his tough exterior, he is such a kind dad. Never failing to show to a Christmas concert, a Halloween party, and if he has the time, helping out at school as a parent volunteer at small events (he prefers to help out in the classroom, he values watching his kid work and it brings him warmth to his burly chest.)
• He is hesitant to speak to you at first, watching from a ways away while you help with his child, lending helpful tips. He’s quiet and leers over your shoulder often, but the deep timbre of his voice is not missed on you. He will pass by you with a hand on your shoulder, a burning gaze on your back as you leave to take his kid to school.
• And if you come back early from dropping them off, forgetting your keys or maybe a useless knickknack, maybe it’s not such a bad thing. Maybe you come back to see him working out in his small workout room adjacent to the living room.
• Who’s getting hurt if you stare a bit, you wonder. Who would want to miss the happy trail crawling into a bush of silver hair on his chest, his back piece flexing with every pull up of his arms? Is anyone really bothered by hearing him let out soft pants as he works out, the sweat dripping down his shoulders?? You would much rather have him dripping sweat over the top of you instead.
• And if he turns around and smirks, dropping his weights and grabs his towel and looks at you, almost growling “If you’re just gonna stand there and look pretty tesoro, then can you help me cool off? Or would you rather me warm up instead?” Who says it’s such a bad thing?
Prosciutto
• He never saw himself having children, but here he is. And though he worries over it, (the small lines crowding his forehead show this completely) he is a kind father. He holds their hand as they cross the road, ties their shoelaces and sings a song to teach them, and bakes treats for his child’s friends when they play dates. As a work from home parent, things are hard, but he tries.
• Though he is slightly scrawny, he makes up for it with devilishly good looks. His hair has lightened considerably over the years, and he often throws it up in a bun or a simple long ponytail. And over the years he grumbles to himself over the Italian genes that have given him such a huge amount of hair everywhere. He keeps it trimmed, but if you peer long enough, you can see the bushel of hair on his pecs.
• And though his fashion is still as expensive as ever, he keeps his silk shirts and trousers, though he trades in his gaudy necklace for some even gaudier rings on his age worn hands. Who can hardly complain when he smells like bergamot, and he has the looks of a supermodel even now?
• He is hesitant to hire someone to care for his child, but he knows he needs to not crowd them so. He is guilty of being a helicopter parent. But how can he look away from his child’s caretaker when they make his pants tighten embarrassingly often. He’s too old to chase after a sweet young thing like you, he tries to tell himself.
• But his plans come to fruition when you bring his kid home and tuck him in, and walk in to say goodbye and see such a sight as him? His hair down, a small glass of wine perched elegantly in his hand, reading his Vogue. He nibbles his lip, his brows pursed into a worried look. Oh, you want to smooth it away with kisses.
• He looks up to you, so sweet, and he lets out a small grin at the way your face is flushed, how you wring your hands to tell him about his child’s day. He shushes you, and beckons you closer with a wave of his still so finely manicured hands.
• “Surely you weren’t leaving so soon?? You have so much to tell me about your day, and how you’re doing? Oh come sit down, I’m not getting any younger you know. You’re such a sweet thing, come curl in closer and tell me everything.”
Formaggio
• Big beefy man, such sweet little kids he has!! Always boasting, giving them embarrassing nicknames. He gives them piggy back rides, lets them get treats from the local convenience store, and he tells the best stories to them before bed. Sure, he may be a bit forgetful sometimes and forgets when they get out of school, or when they need to go to the store, etc, but you can bet his kids get a giggle every time they see him.
• Beer belly and the biggest happy trail you’ve ever seen, he’s even more tan now from working as a groundskeeper for the local parks. And when you catch him working on a pet project at home with his wifebeater on and a beer in his hand, he is truly a sight to see. His grin is still as big as can be, and he still breaks out the leather vest (and rock it better than any dad at his kids school, to Risottos despair.)
• And while he may have lost the abs he had as a young man, he can easily lug a kid or two around and pull his weight.
• He was so happy to see such a sweet little baby like you come around to take care of his kids, he felt like a creep at first. But when the days kept getting hotter and the shorts kept getting shorter, well… so did Formaggio’s restraint. He’s still a horn dog unfortunately, but he can keep it together for a cutie like you!
• And while the kids are out playing in the kiddy pool and you come in to grab a soda for them, well there he is. In all his glory, stretching out on the porch taking in the suns rays like the cats he still brings home. (His favorite cat Ms.Kitty is off to the side taking in the rays as well).
• He’s oiled up, his shirt is off and his happy trail is shining in the light, almost glowing. His arms are behind his head, and you think to yourself ‘Hmm, I wonder what it would be like to sit on that fat-‘ You pull yourself out of it, and flush. It’s not the heat this time.
•He opens his eyes and strains against the light and smiles a big, bouncy grin. He laughs, big and booming. “Oh sweetie baby, is the heat gettin’ to ya too?” he looks around and smirks at you, your legs shifting closer together. “Or is it just me?”
Illuso
• What a pompous man. Once he had his baby, he was an absolute nightmare to deal with. It was like the nights with a newborn didn’t phase him a bit, his face even and glowing with the ego of a new father. And when he cradles his baby to him, he smirks with the arrogance of a man who knows he’s hot shit.
• And he’s right to be! His baby is a darling, giggling and laughing. It’s so easy to just coo at them and fall immediately in love. Too bad Illuso doesn’t know the first thing about being a father, besides giving them a cutest hairstyles and clothes.
• He’s still relatively young, the air of youth makes all the mothers he talks to lean in close and sigh. But his laugh lines are closing in quickly, and the worry lines on his forehead are giving Prosciutto a run for his money. And his work as a cosmetologist is paying well!! (He is getting angry that his abs are leaving though, though the big burly look and the small hints of silver in his hair seen surprisingly sexy)
• But when you come around, he’s smitten, though he won’t admit that. The way you coo and smile at his baby, rock them in your arms and tell him what he needs to do has his heart thumping in his chest. He ignores it and tells himself to drink less caffeine.
• And the nights are long and you’re there often to make sure Iluso isn’t having any trouble. You’re always happy to help! His hair is loose from his normal hairstyle, the silver on the sides of his head showing vibrantly, and his pajama pants show his long toned legs, and though you haven’t seen it yet, you know it’s doing wonders for the front of his pants as well.
• His kid is fast asleep, and he walks to the couch, and you can see him in his full glory. Relaxed, pants just tight enough to see the bulge you’ve been thinking desperately about since you’ve seen him. His abs are showing through the front of his shirt.
• He laughs loudly, almost mockingly. “Dear, I didn’t think you were brazen enough to stare at me so blatantly. But I understand” he purrs “Maybe we both need a chance to relax, won’t you come here and take a seat? Oh not on the couch, amore”.
Pesci
• Oh dear, the love of my life!! The love of all of our lives.
• He is so smitten with his kid. They have him wrapped around their tiny fingers and he is well aware. He makes sure they have a good lunch, hiking them up on his broad shoulders to get to school quicker. He takes them on fishing trips, to the park, to the zoo, anywhere they wish. He goes to their room when they sleep just to think to himself “I am the most lucky man in the world.”
• He’s bulky and strong, though he doesn’t have much time to work out anymore. His hands aren’t used for dirty work, only improving dishes at the small diner he works at. He opts for casual clothing, but keeps the lipstick and eyeliner he has worn for years. His kids are notorious for having green lipstick on their cheeks as a result of goodbye kisses.
• He gets off work late, so he depends on you to help his child after school with homework, eating dinner, etc. He’s a worry wart, but when he sees the way you tenderly hold his child’s hand as you cross the road, when you help put on their jackets while it rains, he can’t help but grin and helplessly wish for you to be there more.
• It’s a late night, he comes home and rushes to his child’s room, only to find you there waiting for him. He apologizes, and quietly explains what happened. You’re so understanding, his heart melts and wishes, beating so fast in his chest for something, anything! He pushes it down and offers a cup of water to you.
• And as you stand in his kitchen, you reach out and cup hands accidentally. He almost drops it, and whispers out an apology. Your heart thrums. You smile and insist it’s ok, it’s more than okay. You push the thought of wanting his calloused hands somewhere else.
• And you lean in, and insist that everything’s more than alright and brush your lips against his neck. And Pesci knows he’s utterly done for.
Melone
• He is what every dad should strive to be! He cares so deeply for his babies, holding them in a papoose and swaddling them close to him at all times. You can catch him either helping out at their daycare, at the fresh and local market he frequents often, or at the park with his baby. He can’t get enough of how they toddle about, he gives them little snacks and keeps every single random thing they bring to him. He’s truly never been happier… that is, until you started babysitting his kid.
• He’s still lanky, and he knows it. While he still wears outlandish fashion, he’s toned it down so that he doesn’t being unnecessary attention to his baby at the wrong times. His skin is glowing, and he often keeps his hair tied up in a trendy ponytail for convenience. And while he still does genetic research from home, he keeps up with his health better than some other fathers he knows. He’s got a toned belly, and the recent addition of a flower tattoo on his hip for his kid.
• He needs you to help balance him out, he either throws too much or too little time into his work, always a workaholic. So when you walk into his room with his baby on your hip, oh dear. I’m so sorry, but he’s raving to have another.
• And if you come over when he’s just getting out of the shower, towel hanging loosely around his hips and his hair dripping water onto his firm pecs, he giggles. “I’m so sorry, I’ll go get changed right away, darling.” He’s not sorry at all, don’t you dare think he is for a second.
• When you put the baby to bed and announce you’re leaving and see him lying on his bed asleep, his shirt riding up to show his lavender trail of hair that’s been trimmed earlier, you leave with an aching burn in your thighs. He wakes up when the door closes and smirks to himself.
• The icing on the cake is when his friends take the baby for the night, and you aren’t aware. So when you arrive to see him at the dinner table with a glass of Riesling, he smiles a grin fit for the Cheshire Cat.
• “This night doesn’t have to come a waste amore, come, take a seat. Though I know what I want to eat more than dinner at the moment is sitting right in front of me. Who am I to neglect such a sweet treat?”
Ghiaccio
• Nobody saw him becoming a father, least of all Ghiaccio himself. But when he picks up his baby after giving them a bath and holds them to his chest, he doesn’t regret any choice that brought him here. He’s short with them, but never in a mean way. He holds their hand, they play house and he watches his kids shows with a grumble and a groan. (You can often hear him humming the Arthur theme song under his breath at work).
• Work as an at home mechanic keeps him busy, but he enjoys the work. He’s toned, and he’s packing lean muscles everywhere. He’s got little hair, but stubble in his face creeps up quicker than he realizes. (He’s got a bubble butt that all the local moms stare at intensely)
• He knows he needs someone to help, HE KNOWS he just… doesn’t want to give up time with his kid. He knows they need other influences and he needs time for work, but he’s hesitant. But when he hires you and sees you wipe applesauce off of his kids cheek, he blushes as hard as can be. But he pushes it down and returns outside to work. He thinks about it again that night and SCREAMS into his pillow.
• Another time your hand brushes his and he just freezes. You apologize and he has to hold back a rant. Not that he’s mad, he just doesn’t want to admit he and his child enjoy your company, in fact, they relish it completely. He thinks about how soft and delicate your hands are, and ignores the tent in his pants.
•So when you put his kid down for a nap and see him leering in the doorway, you ignore the urge to jump this older man’s bones. He’s got a small shirt on that clings to him, and the muscles on his back twitch and he fights the way he wants to make you scream his name into the pillows.
• “Hey. You aren’t busy, would you like to, Uh, come check out something with me?” The words come out of his mouth stilted and awkward and you smile. Hopefully you can check something out other than his butt as you walk down the hall to see whatever he wanted to show you. He grabs your hand and it all makes sense, the flush on your cheeks is only going to get worse as the night goes on, but neither of you know that yet. :)
y’all i’m thinking about risotto with a dad bod again bc DEAR LORD WHO ISN’T
he’s got some scruff, nice lil happy trail, maybe some of his tattoos are a little faded but in a sexy way!!
he definitely doesn’t understand why you would find him attractive at his age, and lightly protests whenever you try to rub his biceps, or run your hands along his cheek to feel the stubble he forgets to shave occasionally.
ughhhh, i would cream my pants at the sight of him.
especially if you can see a bit of white hair growing out of him, a nice happy trail and all...A sexy tummy and nice and holdable titties...big arms...And he gets really flustered when you call him sexy and you kiss his belly and all over his body.
"Tesoro, I haven't been in shape in years-"
"I don't care, you're still strong and sexy in my eyes."
and dad bod risotto with a bit of a white stubble....insta nut on sight.
*Slams hands on table* HOT DAD RISOTTO WHO OWNS A TATTOO AND PIERCING SHOP
Imagine if somehow it comes up that you’d like to get more piercings nipple piercings? while you admire his and he just casually tells you “oh I could do it if you want” and you just about choke because he hadn’t mentioned yet what he does for a living? 👀
