#la squadra

[noonbrainrot]

Gelato: When I chop garlic or onions my fingers smell like that for days and it reminds me that I too am made of meat and therefore susceptible to being seasoned

Sorbet: ???

Sorbet: Do you want me to eat you

[dicentsalve]

Old

[maestroinheaven]

reading the line “[Ghiaccio] wanted Risotto’s praise” is so funny. like yeah girl we all do get in line

[denguuu]

my monthly prosciutto art is due

[ultrapandafever]

Risotto Nero Headcanons

Risotto is the one La Squadra member I feel is too big of a character to put into one origin fanfic so his backstory and characterization is spread out across the ones I have in progress, completed and planned out. He is the only one with a canon backstory and nearly defeated Diavolo if it wasn’t for the plot and how he got over eager at the end.

Once again I’d like to talk about it both serious and unserious. (Though warning for discussions of self destructive behavior such as self harm and purposely getting into dangerous situations)

Risotto doesn’t have any connection with his parents and knows nothing other than they were mentally unstable to the point where his cousin and his wife arranged to take him in when he was a baby.

Risotto considers his cousin and his wife as his parents though and calls them his aunt and uncle. His aunt is deaf therefore he had learned and communicated sign language through her

Risotto and Polpo are biological uncle and nephew but their relationship is strained to say the least. He barely knew him growing up because his cousin didn’t want him to know about his illegal endeavors but it was how Polpo reacted to his second cousins death (carrying out like nothing happened to push grief away) that made Risotto resent him

After he entered underground crime, he was too ashamed of what he had became where he barely contacts his aunt and uncle. Though on his birthday, he sends little letters to tell them that he’s okay. The only member of La Squadra pretty much who still has a positive relationship with his family.

Risotto adored his second cousin much like his little sister. Their favorite activities included finding and fixing broken music boxes they’d find in thrift shops and playing with hand puppets. Her favorite was a jester with jingle bells on its hat.

As much as he loathed the drunk driver, during those 4 years, he couldn’t forgive himself therefore he would cut. Underneath the long sleeves is years worth of healed scars varying in years. Some older than the others. However he had not done so since Metallica had awakened as it causes him to repair himself subconsciously.

It turns out the drunk driver was a gangster from a rival gang and nearly got killed once they found out he killed him. However Sorbet ended up killing the pair when he got caught in the middle

Sorbet and Gelato remind him so much of his aunt and uncle but obviously to a different degree

He and Formaggio are childhood friends that drifted apart when his second cousin was killed, pretty much the only one that knows Risotto before he even became Risotto Nero.

Prosciutto is his mentor figure as he was his capo when he entered Passione at 18, the both of them being the only ones from their old group left. He earned his respect in a duel which allowed him to run The Hitman Team as he pleased

He has complex emotions about Illuso as he killed Sheila Es sister which meant taking family away from a child, but respects the fact he has the balls to stalk them for a few weeks within the mirror and understands that his confidence is a facade to hide his insecurities

He feels that Melone was just like him when he was younger, lost, damaged, hurt. And he was intrigued with how he was able to turn that hurt into something constructive like revenge.

When Ghiaccio came out of nowhere, he was aware of what it was like to be shunned out for being known as violent and “unmanageable “, but he knew deep down there was potential and him being cast out was from him constantly pushed to the brink. Considers him close due to how he doesn’t sugarcoat a thing despite the power dynamic and he actually offers a sense of normalcy through rambling.

Pesci was an odd case. Just a homeschooled, timid beach kid that Prosciutto happened to shield his influence from no matter what. But the way he took it upon himself to go find what he calls his “brother” and drive himself into underground crime is what gave him a chance, especially when the only clue was one P shaped pendant.

He collects music boxes for nostalgia and so he can fix the unwound ones that are often discarded. He can guess up to 20 classical tunes used in production.

A metal head, makes his own piercings with [Metallica] but is willing to give his fellow teammates some like Formaggio and Melone.

He is pretty much the groups barber and touches up anyone’s hair when allowed.

He wouldn’t change a thing about his dysfunctional crew as he considers each of them part of his family

[noonbrainrot]

French Sorbet and Army Sorbet

Fun thought experiment time! Let’s combine the idea of Sorbet being French while serving in the Italian army in his backstory~

Word count: 1000+

Cw: discussions of racism and misogyny, narcissistic child abuse, implied SA

a/n: im sorry it got heavy 🧍‍♂️

Relevant posts:

The Sorbet Analysis

Ancestry

I’m not sure how common this headcanon is, but I think there have been quite a few of us that might’ve considered Sorbet being French. Since, you know, sorbet is a French word (while sorbetto is the Italian word). Thinking on his usual outfit, he does seem to have that dark and sleek French fashion that I've seen many netizens wear in Paris. Of course, aside from personal flavor, I don't believe there is much else to draw on from this possibility.

So, I would also go ahead and assume that his ancestry is Iranian since sorbet originated in ancient Persia, and it would’ve been called sharbat. There have been many a myth of French, Italians, or Romans to try to claim their invention of sorbet, but no evidence supports this other than its origin in ancient Iran. This angle is quite interesting since the Iranian diaspora spiked during the Iranian revolution in 1979, which would have happened during Sorbet's youth.

Though additionally, if we approach Sorbet's backstory as him already being born in France rather than in Iran, then I could see him being born to a Romani parent who had ancestry in Western Asia (including Iran). I'm not sure if I have to mention this, but France and French people do have quite the ugly history of racist policies and prevelant racist sentiment (anti-Romani, anti-Muslim, anti-Semitism, the list goes on tbh). So. There are many layers to Sorbet's festering hate about those who look down on others.

Also, I'm not sure if I have to clarify this as well (since I've encountered people who don't know), but Romani and Roman are different things. Romani refers to the nomadic people from the northern parts of South Asia, and Roman refers to the Roman Empire.

Overall, Sorbet being French can be interpreted in a variety of ways: (1) he was born there, (2) he moved there, (3) he lived there, and/or (4) he used to be a French citizen.

Following the theories I've presented thus far, I would say that Sorbet is at least trilingual (Persian/Sinti-Manouche, French, Italian). Knowing Persian (being raised Iranian) or Sinti-Manouche (being raised French-Romani) depends on whether or not Sorbet moved to France or was born there.

Citizenship

Based on Prima che il Gelato si Sciolga, Sorbet had specifically served in the Italian army, and being an Italian citizen is a requirement to join the Italian army.

So now, the question of “How does one become an Italian citizen?” comes up. Apparently, like France, Italy doesn’t have birthright citizenship (automatically being a citizen if you are born there). However, citizenship by descent or “Jure Sanguinis” is a valid thing in Italy, meaning that Sorbet can apply for citizenship if at least one of his parents or grandparents is an Italian citizen.

Before 1948, Jure Sanguinis used to be only valid for those using male Italian ancestors for citizenship. By the time Sorbet would've been born though, this rule has changed to be equal among male and female citizens. (I saw someone on Reddit who thought the rule didn't change after 1948 skfjsj)

Parents

So now with all the legal shit out of the way, I would assume that Sorbet’s father was likely Italian while his mother was likely French (and either Persian or Persian-Romani). The reason for this is because Sorbet has A Thing (it's trauma) about arrogant and condescending men (using the Boss, That One Soldier, and Cioccolata as examples).

Father Because of Sorbet’s possible traumas that contributed to his sociopathy, I would assume that his Italian father was the Evil Man in his life. I could see this situation as a narcissist father raising a son to be in his (desired and/or projected) image, pushing for the paperwork to make Sorbet an Italian citizen so he can join the Italian army and gain glory in that way. Because of Sorbet's sadistic glee of tearing down arrogant narcissists, I would guess that Sorbet had to contend with never satisfying the Evil Man's standards (paralleling with getting mad over the Boss' lack of respect for his and Gelato's work as assassins).

With the angle of a narcissistic parent-child relationship, it's also safe to assume that Sorbet's father used to also be in the military if he wanted his son to follow in his footsteps. I imagine his "child-rearing" approach would be more like the hazing and abuse that happens in the army.

If Mr. Father was able to travel abroad for work reasons, he could've met Sorbet's mother in France or Iran that way. If we continue the theory of Sorbet's mother being Persian or Romani, it probably would have been quite easy for the Sorbet's father to take custody of him. As for how Sorbet's parents met,, it was likely how soldiers interact with local women in real life,,

I would wager that as soon as Mr. Father learned about Sorbet's existence, he'd want to bring him to Italy to raise as a son if he didn't have any sons already. It also feels like this reflects how Western European countries like France and Italy wanted to claim the origin of sorbet.

Mother As for how Sorbet's life could've been like with his mother (despite how short-lived it may have been), I think that he would witness unfairness and discrimination from an early age, already developing his complex of dominance and being looked down upon. His childhood would have taken place during a very sensitive political time for his mother's side no matter what.

Seeing how deranged he grows up to be regarding such topics, I would guess that he never got to process it properly, only feeding into the emotions of rage that he doesn't know how to explain. Naturally, this would only be exacerbated when he's taken away by his Italian father who would push him further into honing his ASPD behaviors instead of getting him psychological help.

Army

Finally in the army, I would assume that Sorbet has adjusted to life as an Italian by now, able to pass as Mediterranean. But, seeing the same treatment that he received from his father being repeated over and over in his line of work would reasonably push him over the edge. By now, his sociopathic capability for violence has been fully nurtured, relishing in the joy of putting someone in their place after looking down on others. At some point, he realizes he can just do whatever he wants, consequences be damned.

[noonbrainrot]

Ghiaccio: can’t even say “fuck you” to my friends or they’ll say “when🥰” gay asses

[alexwatervoodoo]

Why the fuck wasn't I informed there was a novel on the la squadra members that came out last year? Huh?

I feel betrayed by the jojo fandom.

Anyways like a true jjba fan and continuing the tradition of the yee old, I found a fan translation on the ass end of the Internet.

If any one wants a link to it plz dm me