the Death of the Self
of which the great writers speak of
is no violent act.
it is merely
the joining of the great rock heart of the earth in its roll
the slow cessation of the intellect’s chatter
the hollow bell with stilled tongue
the waiting itself
in the killing frost
fixed, Mute.
Wait—
my brain vibrates: “Our God shall come,”
“and shall not keep silence.”
I saw
three migrating geese flying low
over the frozen duck pond where I stood
I heard a heart-stopping blast of speed
I felt the flayed air slap at my face
they thundered across the pond
and back, and back again
such speed, such singlemindedness, such flaying of wings
they flew, they rang the air, they disappeared
i think of this now
the blurred bastinado of feathered bone
if you wait silently,
in naturalness,
emptied,
translucent,
without expectation and without hope,
something pours over you like a waterfall
rocks and topples you like a tidal wave
it will shear,
loose,
launch,
winnow,
grind.
it is a reduction,
a shedding,
a sloughing off.
I stand under this distant silver November sky
directly under sere branches of trees, shed
naked, pure, without intercessors—
this is the Real world, not
the world gilded and pearled
You all go on.
I’m staying here.
Rearranged from Annie Dillard's Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Northing.