In which Fem!AFAB!Reader flashes her tits at her husband, the NRC Staff / fiancé, Sam, and texts them for their reaction.
Warnings: 18+, Reader is married/engaged to the Staff (individually), Fem!AFAB!Reader, dirty talk, sexting, mentions of oral sex, sending photos of each other, reader flashes her boobs, reader drinks alcohol in Crewel's, established relationship, reader is not Yuu.
HOLY FUCK IT TOOK SO LONG CUZ I WAS GETTING ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED BY SCHOOL BUT MONSTER HIGH AU PART 2!!!!!
thank u to veni for the franken dire idea cuz 🤑🤑🤑 direstraits
dire probably is like. the physical deaducation teacher. straizo is probably something buttass like AP lit or some English class.. William probably home ick or aquaculture
straizo is like the zestiest teacher who claims he’s straight but he’s!!! actually a fruit
straizo was a normie/human who was a mad scientist and then like. dire was also a normie but mf died so he went like “THAAAAT’S IT!” and dedicated his life to resurrect him
he got a white streak from overworking and that gave him the extreme phobia of growing old so he became a vampire >_<
baron zeppeli knows spw has a crush on Jonathan so he’s like “hmmm why don’t u guys watch out for each other ahahah…” cuz Jonathan be catching strays left n right!!! and he’s like. go teach him the street life basics
nijimura brothers are gargoyles cuz idk stone butches
rohan is a spider based off of Anansi (the god of storytelling iirc) plus it references the spider he licked in his episode 😭 he spins and weaves intricate stories while catching prey for the juiciest deets!
josuke is a werewolf sorcerer who specializes in healing spells 😛 I was thinking hamon users also use sorcery or something magical of the sort
also if u have any ideas or suggestions on what species other characters may be feel free to share them 🤑🤑comments or inbox idm
Summary: Crowley barges into your house while you’re laying in your newly furnished living room. He is a little bit aghast, to say the least.
(The Caretaker isn’t really all that humble of a person. They wouldn’t reject Kalim’s gifts. They like getting new things.)
Crowley has a habit of coming into your house without knocking and without warning. No calling ahead on his old candlestick telephone that somehow still works with modern phones. No hints or looks that tell you he’s about to visit you because he missed the feel of your home. Nothing. He just comes in whenever he feels like it, regardless of how you wanted to spend your day.
Today was another one of those days.
You had just finished with all your chores, fed and washed the pets that desperately needed a washing–those being Ace and Deuce because they were on mulch duty and found the stray cat Grim’s very gross and very solid “left-overs.”
After all that, all you wanted to do was bring out some new blankets that you had forgot you put in storage and just crunch and munch the rest of the hours away.
Well, you’re still doing that, but now Crowley’s in here giving you the stink eye, right after barging into your house, closely examining your furniture and ignoring your lazy complaints.
“What?” You raised an eyebrow from your couch. You are not in the mood of getting up at all. You just found a nice position and getting up would mean losing that and all the warmth your blankets had stored up.
Hmm. You should probably invest in an electric blanket. Sounds quite nice right about now.
Crowley didn’t say anything. Probably made some sort of tiny facial movement but you couldn’t be fully sure with that mask on his face. The same mask that’s wore for… just about all your life, really. At this point, you’re kinda convinced it’s a part of his skin. You’ve even caught him sleep in bed with the thing on.
You buried your hand in a bowl and crunched on your rather unhealthy snack. You were in the mood for it, and if you dare to ignore the mood, you’ll end up with a hungry stomach and an unresponsive tongue. It’s difficult to get a meal in your when you just don’t have the appetite for it. You’ve fought against your saliva glands and have lost pretty much every time. No use in forcing a meal in you when you’re not at least a little bit into it.
Anyways… you were having a decent day, and now it was starting to sour a little bit with Mr. Crowley being himself. You almost chucked your snack at his head when he made loud and pompous huff from his big old mouth.
Anything and all things annoying never fail to start from that particular sound.
“When,” Crowley’s gaze was cast at your newly stuffed bookshelf, filled with tomes, “did you get,” next was the ottoman that your legs were resting upon, “all of this?!” and last, with a dramatic flair to his hands, pointed to the wallpaper, sunlight sparkling off of the gold leaves painted into it. “And what of this?!”
Oh, he found your ostrich egg sized ruby with a wooden snake wrapped around it. Resting right in it’s white case and plum colored velvet.
It’s not unusual for you to get new things. Lot of your wardrobe’s and furniture’s made up of hand-me-downs, after all. Though, you suppose it is weird for you to suddenly have an entire new living room.
And why is that? Well, because of Kalim, of course.
See, you were looking to pick out a new chair because, apparently, the combine weight of both you and the little naga Jamil was enough to get it’s back leg snapping. Gave out from right under you and gave you a sore right on the tailbone. Ugh. You had to complain to someone and that someone ended up being Kalim. Weird man that he is, he’s also very easy to talk to. Not a shred to judgment to be found in those sparkling eyes and heart of his. Ignorant, yes, but he’s willing to learn.
Anyways, point being, Kalim decided that this was his fault and so dragged you to Sam’s shop. Practically nabbed you right from your bed. Didn’t even take off your pajama’s so you were rocking that with weirdly chunky hiking shoes.
And so, here you are, surrounded by a new furniture set, books that you highly suspect are from Sam’s own collection, and a big gem that Kalim tossed to you just because he thought it wasn’t enough.
You have never been so comfy, and with comfort comes the need for entertainment, so you said, “I’ve always had this stuff.” Looked him straight in the eye, not a waver in your voice. Master liar that you are.
Had those feathers on his coat been a part of him, you’re very sure they would’ve rose and puffed up. Air hissed through his nose in the way that it does when he wants to get indigent, but can’t because it would be a stupid thing to get angry over. He massaged his temples, seemingly done with you, but you can see the corners of his lips twitching when you put two overly large handfuls of snacks into your mouth.
Crowley makes it too easy to get him laughing.
“Why,” Crowley gestured to all of you, still buried in fancy and colorful quilts Kalim also gifted you but from a long while back, “are you like this? I didn’t know I raising someone so spoiled rotten.”
First of all, he was babysitter at best, and second, you are rotting but for vastly different reasons that you are currently ignoring and hoping it goes away.
And thirdly…
“Because it’s fun.” And that’s all there was to it. It’s fun to tease him and it’s to make him laugh not even a second later. It’s the reason why you make stupid lies to this face.
But also, you like being given things. Did the bird-brain himself tell you not to reject a gift because it’s impolite?
“I can see you fighting a smile, Crowley.” You leaned back against your pillow, smiling yourself.
Crowley crossed his arms and pouted like he wasn’t older than… probably everyone living here in this neighborhood. You have no clue honestly. You could be wrong.
“I’m not fighting a smile, I’m fighting against my eyes! From sobbing! Here you are, indulging in all manner of riches while I’m left to collect dust! All by my lonesome!” He turned around huffed once more, as if finally done with you.
“Sure you are.” You fished out the remote from in between the cushions. “Aren’t your soap opera’s usually on at this hour?”
Instantly, Crowley was on the other side of the sofa, hat replaced with his sleeping cap and a silly straw between his lips, connecting and looping all the way to a hot chocolate right on your kitchen table. “Actually, it’s a space opera this time, and yes. It’s the channel right after your favorite plant nymph documentary that Mozus narrates.”
“Non lasci andare qualcuno tutto in una volta […]. Dici addio nell'arco di una vita intera. Magari puoi non pensare a lei per dieci anni, poi senti una canzone che te la ricorda o finisci in un posto dove una volta siete stati insieme, ed ecco che qualcosa che avevi completamente dimenticato riaffiora in superficie. E dici un altro addio. Devi essere pronto a lasciarla andare un migliaio di volte.”
