#dirk post

[ask-stridercest]

Whats everyone’s favorite hobby

This family is completely average in every aspect.

[chxrryblossoming]

affirmations for dirks (affirmations for me dirk specifically): nobody has as much obscure puppet knowledge as you. nobody loves horses as much. nobody has as much swag. nobody is as good at rhythm heaven. nobody thinks thog is as awesome as you.

[solrrx]

I don't DO romantic or sexual pick up lines, I do Adoption Lines. Fuckin' Child "PICKUP" lines. Ahaa.... Like fuckin' "You ever had a father that buys you all the fuckin' Pokémon cards? Well you do now." And they get all confused and shit and stumble and I fuckin' pick em up by the head with my giant masculine dad hands and throw them in the back of my truck filled with those fucking jumbo giant lollipops and Beyblades. Fuck yeah, oh yeah. I be fuckin' awesome.

[roxystriderscrew]

TT: so uhhh

TT: any1 kno anything about connan human body parts

TT: *cloning

TT: asking 4 a friend

[nailbunny]

sometimes you win. and sometimes you eat mac n cheese directly out of the saucepan you cooked it in. we can’t have it all

[ask-stridercest]

would everyone answer #1 of the nsft ask thing? For reasons

Dirk: I am also plagued by mysterious reasons to do things.

D: non-sexual things that turn me on... well-

Dirk: Brotherhood.

Hal: My dude, I come with the news from the future, that's everyone.

D: that is n-

Dirk: Bro also gets off on fatherhood.

Bro: Nah, hate that shit, just a regular daddy kink.

Hal: Somebody should make Dave aware of that little caveat then, poor kid will never achieve his dreams of being his father's boywife, better tell him it's ninety seven point sixty five percent not happening.

Dirk: Throw out his maid outfit.

D: guys lay of-

Bro: Hold on, when did he get a maid outfit? He didn't want to use the one I gave him.

Hal: Wasn't he doing that abstinence bet with Davesprite at the time? Who won in the end anyway?

D: bro, you don't even have a proper outfit just the lingerie

Davesprite: What were you guys saying about me?

Bro: Hold on Hal-y, that was on February last year, he told me were to shove it this March.

Dirk: We are debating if you two were doing the abstinence bet when Bro asked Dave to dress in a maid outfit.

Dave: bro doesn't wear lingerie tho?

Hal: No way was that this March, he was super horny the whole time he said yes to basically everything.

D: what do you mean bro doesn't wear lingerie? i bet he is wearing the lace panties right now

Davesprite: oh that was last year, who won anyway?

Dirk: Don't ask me, hey what's something non-sexual, non-familial that turns you on?

Bro: To you maybe, he didn't say yes to my maid outfit

Dave: i mean panties barely count but even if they did (which they don't) he still only wears them sometimes not enough to justify your reaction bro doesn't wear lingerie that is not a thing that happens

Davesprite: oh uhhhh i don't know man, wrist watches? you know when they are thick and gaudy?

Dirk: Dave, what the fuck do you mean panties don't count as lingerie?

Hal: Because it didn't happen on March lord bro

D: watches are an excellent choice 'sprite. I'm a bigger fan of a hunk putting on driving gloves

Dave: i mean think about it dude they are just masks of the pussy but garter belts and corset are were it's at

Bro: The fuck you mean it didn't happen on March? Kid I was there, don't go lying to my face if you don't want to be put in your place.

Davesprite: i love bro's gloves too

Hal: I mean that it couldn't have happened on March because you were busy with that big project for your page but you keep on being wrong, maybe I want to get put in my place by a fool.

Dirk: Dave, lingerie literally means undergarments, by definition panties count as lingerie.

Bro: Come here you brat

D: i wasn't talking about bro's gloves, i was talking about a completely different hunk putting on completely different driving gloves

Dave: so what you know the soul of a word is what matters and panties don't have the soul of the lingerie

Davesprite: ooooh i'm sure you were D, you were just thinking of a completely different guy with big muscles, and huge hands, that likes to pull and pull and pull and snap his gloves one, every morning just were you can see before you go to work, no relation tho

Dirk: The soul of a word? What are you talking about right now? I f you have the hots for garter belts just day that.

Dave: don't pretend like you don't know exactly what i'm talking about

Dave: but hey if it's so hard to understand i could always give you a one on one demostration

[ask-stridercest]

Z = Zzz: Have any fantasies involving sleep?

(For Dirkdave)

Dirk: Several things involve sleep, but Dave's main one is sleeping in my arms while he's little.

Dirk: Aside from that I'm a big fan of fucking him until he passes out and then keep going.

Dirk: Being woken up with a blowjob is nice too. And i guess returning the favor is only in order.

[solrrx]

I love having music mumbling autism. I be hanging out with friends and it will be completely silent and ill just mumble the last song I listened to or AM listening to while in a VC; and it will just be "pull the tapeworm out of your ass... pull the tapeworm out of your ass.... a tape worm tells me what to do AAAAAAAAAAHHGHH a tapeworm tells me what to do AUUUUUUUUUGHHH" just out of nowhere, and then quiet humming. It's always the songs with the weird ass lyrics too. Why cant it be like Lana Delaware or whatever her name is and not fucking Needles by System of a Down or fucking, I Got Bitches by A2M. Why must I be too fucking bitchful and whimsical dude. Alright this aint spitting facts anymore this is just a sad un-masculine autistic freestyle. Shitworms.