#dirklog

[growinggradience-blog]

JADE: -there's the distinct sound of sobbing, and it's not very conducive to walking or holding a baby, but that's exactly what Jade is doing right now as she slowly makes her way through the halls- DIRK: *it might be too late for visits, but dirk doesn't really care. he needs to see jake so he can punch him in the tid, but he's very much distracted by the sound of sobbing and a voice much too familiar. he pauses, listening for where it's coming from before he follows the sound.* DIRK: ... Jade? JADE: -someone says her name, she's sure, and she stops right in her tracks, but that doesn't stop her from crying all too much- JADE: -it's pretty hard to see much of anything with her hair all in her face like this- DIRK: *his brows furrow as he hurries over to her, immediately taking to brushing the hair out of her face.* What's wrong? What happened? JADE: -SURPRISE THERE'S A BABY BEHIND ALL THAT HAIR TOO- DIRK: *its like that gif of the guy in the hay bale* JADE: -she's not sure how she feels about this being Dirk, but she doesn't know what to do, either, so she's just biting her lip to try to put herself back together- DIRK: *frowns, brushing her cheeks with his thumbs* ... Are you okay? *it's a stupid question, but he means /physically/ okay. and where the hell is dave? he's afraid to ask.* JADE: -she really doesn't feel very okay at all, and she's getting a little at admitting it -- not that she could deny it much now -- so she shakes her head- DIRK: Can you tell me what happened? *fusses with her hair some more* ... Do you need to sit down or something? I can take you back to my room if you want. JADE: -nods a lot- DIRK: Okay. *loops an arm around her shoulder, ushering her towards his and sollux's room and stepping inside quietly so not to wake their own baby. hopefully sollux won't mind the company.* JADE: -SOLLUX is probably busy going oh shit and minding his own business. IGNORE THE NERD ON THE COMPUTER- DIRK: *what a good. sollux will get a smooch for being so agreeable for once in his life.* JADE: -Jade is quieting down now, though, but she's offering Dove over to Dirk now. Dove is just tryin to sleep tbh she just ate- DIRK: *he will gladly accept this baby* JADE: -and now she's mopping at her face- JADE: .... he JADE: -sits down on the bed- JADE: hes been talking to her DIRK: *bouncing dove lightly to try to get her to sleep when it sinks in what jade is trying to say* ... DIRK: He what? JADE: aranea DIRK: *oh boy, dirk sounds pissed* Why? JADE: he-- thought she JADE: i dont know -she sounds bitter, too- JADE: deserves a second chance JADE: that shes changed DIRK: Why... *wow, he really can't think of anything else to ask here but why.* DIRK: ... Why would he think that? JADE: -that was about her reaction too- JADE: i dont know JADE: i dont-- JADE: -curls up, hugging her knees- DIRK: *he would have an easier time getting it if this topic hadn't been so sensitive for him, which was likely the case for jade too. whatever the reasoning, it wasn't enough to him. and honestly, today was one shitty day for this to crop up again.* DIRK: ... *looks down at dove.* He's... ugh. JADE: -her voice is just small now- i dont get it DIRK: I can't say that I do, either. DIRK: I would suggest maybe we're just... biased. DIRK: But I never fucking liked her. DIRK: How am I supposed to believe she's suddenly changed? DIRK: There's no real evidence of that. JADE: thats what i said JADE: it just... JADE: hurts DIRK: *softly* ... Yeah. JADE: ...i dont know what im doing DIRK: It's fine. You're gonna need time to figure it out. DIRK: I mean, I can't blame you for needing to get away from alla that for a bit. *sighs* DIRK:  You can stay here for a while if you want. And John's right next door, too. *it's probably an inevitability that dave will come to him eventually, so jade hanging out here might not be the best idea later.* JADE: oh JADE: thats right JADE: do you think he would mind if... DIRK: Uhh. Last I saw him he was pretty drunk... But no, I don't think he'd mind. *he's JOHN after all* JADE: oh heheh JADE: i guess JADE: ill see if hes awake DIRK: Well, if he's passed out or somethin', feel free to stay til the morning. DIRK: If anybody else comes to the door I'll just have Sollux complain at them until they leave. Works like a charm. Nobody wants to hear that. JADE: -snrk- JADE: okay JADE: -leans into him for a second before stealing her baby back- JADE: ... thanks dirk DIRK: *passes her back but is RELUCTANT. he loves this baby.* Anytime, Jade. *gives her arm a rub* JADE: ill see you later JADE: or sooner if hes asleep JADE: heh JADE: -stands up and moves toward the BATHROOM- DIRK: Yeah. *watches her* Oh-- Uh. DIRK: Watch out for... DIRK: The balls. JADE: .... JADE: what? DIRK: ... You'll see. JADE: .... JADE: -opens the bathroom door- DIRK: *WELCOME TO THE BALL PIT MOTHERFUCKER* DIRK: *so many colorful balls* JADE: -gfdi- JADE: .... JADE: B JADE: ***B| JADE: -begrudgingly wades through all these balls- JADE: (bye dirk) DIRK: Bye Jade. Bye Dove. JADE: -UGH WHAT A GOOD- JADE: -but then theres the sound of tapping from inside the bathroom, muffled talking, and she's gone-

[twofoldacrimony-blog]

-- twofoldAcrimony [TA] began pestering technetronicTactician [TT] at 00:31 -- TA: y0u're an assh0le. TA: 0kay well at least i c0nfirmed y0u're unc0nsci0us. TA: great. TA: y0u were d0ing s0mething stupid by y0urself pr0bably. TA: i can't fucking sleep. TA: n0t that that's supp0sed t0 be anything unusual. TA: it's pretty n0rmal when y0u're n0t actually here. TA: because surprisingly i d0n't usually have pe0ple dragging me int0 a resting platf0rm in the wee h0urs. TA: except y0u, y0u d0 that. TA: i'm tired th0ugh. TA: this is stupid. TA: i'm literally just sitting here talking t0 myself. TA: 0h yeah, i was g0ing t0 tell y0u citrin actually figured 0ut the p0tty training thing t0day. TA: y0u kn0w, by surprising me as i was g0ing. TA: incidental tag team. TA: yeah y0u missed that. TA: it was awful and s0 was the sh0wer that he denied that experience necessitated. TA: i feel like y0u sh0uld be awake by n0w. TA: i'm n0t even entirely c0nvinced y0u actually sleep. TA: i guess fucking bl TA: hfss TA: fuck it. TA: i'll talk t0 y0u when y0u wake up. -- twofoldAcrimony [TA] ceased pestering technetronicTactician [TT] at 00:59 --

[twofoldacrimony-blog]

-- technetronicTactician [TT] began pestering twofoldAcrimony [TA] at 22:35 -- TT: Did anyone inform you of what happened? TT: And if they didn't, forget I said anything. TT: Nothing happened. TT: Everything is normal. TA: y0u mean y0ur dukes 0f hazzard-like wild adventures that landed y0u in the brig? TA: yup. TA: i heard ab0ut that. TT: Fuck. TT: It's really such bullshit. TT: Mostly because I knew that would happen. TT: And yet somehow didn't expect that to happen. TA: 0f c0urse y0u knew it w0uld happen. TA: y0u just als0 didn't think ab0ut it. TT: I guess I am prone to doing that. TA: y0u are pretty much the expert 0n d0ing that. TA: i was g0ing t0 c0me fuck with y0u but i didn't get the chance. TA: s0 just t0 save my h0n0r here i'm letting y0u kn0w. TA: it's als0 s0rt 0f difficult t0 keep an eye 0n a wiggler when y0u d0n't have any eyes. TA: an0ther fact that y0u sh0uld be aware 0f. TT: Ugh, I know. Is he okay? TT: I was going to come by but more things came up. TT: Things unrelated to me being a jackass. I feel it important to tact on that detail. TA: he's fine. TA: pr0bably. TT: Don't say that! TA: 0kay, i f0und him. TA: here, y0u can talk t0 him. TT: Oh, okay. TT: Hello Citrin. TA: bhrbhhrbbhhkkkfh TA: rrrrr TT: Aww. TA: the w0rd t0 use 0n y0ur human lusus dad is hell0. TA: this is a mic struggle in the making. TA: ffnrjii TA: n0 it's hell0. TA: halo TA: 0h shit. TT: Omg. TT: Dude. TA: i kn0w. TA: he's int0 scifi sh00ters already. TT: I'm sure you're overwhelmed with pride. TA: i kind 0f am actually. TA: eheheheh. TT: Heh. TT: Well, I'm glad he's alright and stringing word noises together. TT: What about you, though? Surviving without me giving you constant attention? TA: n0. TA: i keep kicking things. TT: Wow. Tragic. TT: Should I hire someone to babysit you too? TT: I'll get Dave to do it. TA: fuck n0. TT: He's perfect for the job. TT: He'll never leave you be. Probably talk your ear off. Probably annoy you, which is an added bonus for me. TA: i d0n't need this in my life. TA: i am a recently disabled tr0ll. TA: why w0uld y0u unleash that up0n me. TT: You know why. TA: because y0u suck. TA: and are a space criminal. TT: Hahah. Those are indeed true facts. TT: If I wasn't a devious "space criminal" before, I certainly am now after spending time behind bars. It changes a man. TT: Who knows what sort of torture you'll have to endure from me now. TA: the same shit, but with m0re references t0 h0w hard y0u are. TA: acc0mpanied by m0re flexing. TT: That sounds about right. TT: I'm a very hardened criminal, Sollux. TA: fuck. TA: that s0unds different 0ut l0ud. TT: Yes it does. TT: Would you like me to say it again? TA: uhhhh eheheh. TA: shit. TT: I'm sure it sounds better comin' straight from me though. TA: yes. TA: i mean. TA: well. yes. TA: likely. TA: what have y0u been d0ing anyway??? TT: It's... TT: Roxy. TT: She needed me around. TA: is she 0kay? TT: I don't know. She's been hittin' the bottle pretty damn hard. TT: She won't really talk to me about it though, so I'm just looking after her for the time being. TA: well fuck. TA: i guess... i h0pe she st0ps the b0ttle thing? TA: 0r that y0u pr0actively st0p her. TA: 0r whatever is appr0priate in this scenari0. TA: pr0bably b0th. TT: Yes. Let's hope for both of those things, babe. TA: i'm babe n0w? TT: You sure are. TT: I should hope it's an upgrade from jerk, asshole, fuckface, etc. TT: Have I ever called you fuckface before? Because I should have. Fuck your face. TA: wh0a. TA: wait. TA: 0h. TA: hahaha. TA: wait n0, fuck y0u. TT: You seem to be having some conflicting feelings there. TA: i'm ab0ut t0 seem like i'm kissing y0ur ass. TA: kicking! TA: h0ly shit. TT: Wow. TT: Was that really a typo, Sollux? TT: I'm a little skeptical. TA: well f0r 0ne it can't be a typ0 because i said it 0ut l0ud. TA: that's n0t really helping my case th0ugh. TT: Hahahaha. TA: hilari0us. TT: Well, you can make Freudian slips at my face because I'm coming back. TT: And maybe """kick""" my ass, or various other parts of me. TA: hearing all th0se qu0tati0ns marks 0ut l0ud really s0ld it. TT: That's what I was hoping for. TA: are y0u here yet. DIRK: *creeping up behind him as this question is posed and gives his sides a poke* DIRK: Yes. SOLLUX: aH FUCK--! -distressed bug noise- why. DIRK: Because I am a /hardened criminal./ DIRK: This was established. SOLLUX: hhhhhhuman christ. SOLLUX: -just puts face in hand- DIRK: *neck smooch* Did you miss me? SOLLUX: -he's actually pulling the headset off his horn, incredible- SOLLUX: maybe. y0u have been in jail f0r s0me time. SOLLUX: y0u just d0n't kn0w h0w l0nely it is 0n the 0utside. DIRK: So sorry I put you through that. It was selfish. DIRK: What can I possibly do to make up for it? SOLLUX: yes. ... i mean. SOLLUX: -spins chair around and just leans into him- DIRK: *snorts and wraps his arms around him* DIRK: (I missed you too.) SOLLUX: (st0p getting arrested.) DIRK: (I'm not gonna get arrested again.) SOLLUX: (i'm h0lding y0u t0 that.) SOLLUX: (y0u sh0uld 0nly be getting arrested WITH me.) DIRK: (Heh. Well, when you put it that way, maybe I won't make any guarantees.) DIRK: (Gettin' up to no good with you is too much fun.) SOLLUX: (y0u're 0nly making me m0re jeal0us here.) DIRK: (Damn. I keep sayin' dumb shit. Please help me shut up before I make things even worse.) SOLLUX: (i guess i am feeling charitable.) SOLLUX: -stupid grinning and awkward feeling up his chest for his face- DIRK: *grinning back at him cuz there's no using trying to hide it when he can't see and helps guide him before pulling him up and closer* SOLLUX: -it's easier once he finds Dirk's cheeks, and maybe it shows a little in how his movements are somewhat jerky, hasty, how eager he is to have Dirk back, even if he was only gone for a little while. He's not thinking about how he looks, though -- he's thinking about how Dirk's lips feel and how he really doesn't want to spend any more moments remembering than feeling, so he doesn't wait to kiss him.- DIRK: *his heart flutters, as it always does, when sollux makes it so abundantly clear how much he's wanted and needed, though in this case, he does find himself feeling guilty for pulling the stunt that he had. it was harmless enough and it'd make a funny story, but he couldn't afford to be so reckless anymore, and maybe he still needed the occassional reminder of that. he draws sollux in closer, knitting his fingers into his hair and drawing in a deep breath as he presses their lips together fervantly, to make it clear just how much he missed him too.* SOLLUX: -he's really more out of his chair than in it at this point, hands drifting from Dirk's face to around his neck now that he's gotten his bearings. he can afford to be a little clingy to make up for the absence of Dirk's variety, one he is realizing he had become keenly accustomed to at a point he wasn't sure when.- DIRK: *he straightens his posture to pull sollux the rest of the way out of his chair, the kiss getting a little more haphazard as he attempts to multitask both it and lifting sollux, which evolves from getting him on his feet to lifting so dirk can carry him, like he loves to do so much.* SOLLUX: -well shit there he goes, he's ascending, and in this position it's difficult not to wrap one leg around him, two, and cling. Dirk's package has arrived and it is a whole lot of Sollux attached to him.- ahah, fuck. DIRK: We have lifdoff. *this is a fun position. feel those muscles all tensed up from lifting, sollux. also feel the kisses he will resume planting on him while holding him up like that.* SOLLUX: -he feels them alright, and it's killing him a little bit in the best kind of way. Dirk's kisses are met with needy sounds as much as lips (but not big stupid fangs, ones that get in the way of kisses, score another for Sollux), and he might be clinging a little harder.- (is this just where i'm g0nna be n0w?)

[genteelauxiliary-blog]

-- technetronicTactician [TT] began pestering genteelAuxiliary [GA] at 21:34 -- TT: Hey. This is the... TT: Dolorosa, correct? GA: Yeah, +ha+'s me. GA: And i+ says here +ha+ you're Dirk. TT: That's right. GA: Nice +o mee+ you. TT: You too. GA: Is +here some+hing I can help wi+h? TT: I wanted to ask you something, but I hope I'm not being too presumptuous about you as a person, and also what information you may or may not be privy to. TT: But I suppose it wouldn't hurt if I were the one to tell you about this. TT: Anyway, are you aware of our little mothergrub situation? GA: Oh, righ+. GA: Yes, I've been +old abou+ +ha+. TT: Okay, cool. TT: Here's the thing. TT: My boyfriend was amoung the group that stumbled upon her and the grubs in the first place, but was concerned for the personal safety of the little bundles if he should hand them off to anybody working in TUMUT. TT: So, he kind of smuggled one away? And the two of us have been taking care of him. TT: To get to the point, I'm coming to you for advice on a few matters concerning this. GA: Ahh. GA: I +hink I unders+and. GA: Well... I would say you have some advan+ages I didn'+, bu+ "smuggling" sounds abou+ righ+, ac+ually. GA: Are +here any problems? TT: Caring for him has been fairly simple, besides being kind of exhausting. TT: My questions mostly regard... Uh. TT: Well, I guess I'd like some clarification on the adoption process for young trolls by lusii, and also if there are any new age forms of adoption, possibly on Lauctis or other planets? TT: Like, say, and I'm being terribly transparent here, but if someone who wasn't a horrible wild animal wanted to rear a young troll themselves, how would they go about it? How would the troll be recognized as a legal citizen with guardians that don't double as erratic pets? TT: Am I over thinking this? Do I really just steal a grub, give it a name, and that's the end of it? TT: Boom. Now you're a parent. The contract has been sealed. Done and done. GA: Well... Generally, +ha+'s how i+'s done +he old-fashioned way. Bu+ +ha+'s also regarding +he erra+ic pe+ bes+ial guardians in ques+ion +ha+ remain largely unaffec+ed by mos+ legal process. GA: Bu+ in +his case... GA: I've ac+ually been working on ge++ing +he mo+her grub and her young reloca+ed +o Lauc+is. They'll be legal ci+izens +here, once every+hing goes +hrough. GA: If you wan+ +o adop+ your grub officially +hrough us, I'd be more +han happy +o help. GA: I can +alk abou+ +he usual process wi+h lusii if i+'ll se+ your mind a+ ease a+ all. I know i+ is sor+ of a confusing process, and i+ is pre++y complica+ed, even for +hose of us well-acquain+ed wi+h i+. TT: I definitely wouldn't mind hearing about it. TT: Also, thank you. GA: Heh, i+'s no problem. GA: I+'s hones+ly reassuring +o see in+eres+ blooming already. TT: I can imagine. TT: And it's reassuring for me knowing these guys are on the right track towards finding a home. GA: I defini+ely agree. GA: In any case... GA: There are a weal+h of lusii for each class, abou+ many as +here are signs. Each one has been bred over a long period of +ime +o seek ou+ a cer+ain scen+ of blood in +he wiggler +hey choose +o raise, which, no+ so coincen+ally, +ends +o have a lo+ in common wi+h +he kind of lusus +hey receive. GA: They're sor+ of made for each o+her, you could say. TT: Interesting. GA: Of course, every +roll is differen+, and +ha+'s no hard rule. The similari+ies lend +o a cer+ain environmen+, bu+ I don'+ +hink any wiggler would be a+ a loss for being raised by some+hing o+her +han wha+ +he empire would find fi+ for +hem. GA: No+ +ha+ +ha+ comes as any huge surprise, I'm sure. GA: Be+ween you and me, ge++ing a chance +o live in a happy and heal+hy environmen+ is +he only real specifica+ion +ha+ ma++ers. GA: Bu+, +ha+ said, +here are some +hings you can look forward +o expec+ing as your wiggler grows. TT: I've done a bit of research, but Grooble isn't too terribly helpful. GA: I would imagine no+. GA: I+'s been much of a "+ake +his as you go" process for mos+, +hough I suppose Beforus is making i+s own s+rides in figuring +hings ou+... No+ +ha+ I'm +erribly fond of +heir par+icular a++i+ude, bu+ +here i+ is. GA: Anyway, +hey're going +o wan+ some+hing +o hang from as +hey ge+ bigger. Some+hing s+urdy +hey would feel secure spinning a cocoon on. GA: Also, +he darker you can make +heir environmen+ a+ firs+, probably +he be++er. GA: Do +hey have a good appe+i+e? TT: Oh yeah, definitely. GA: Heheh, very good. GA: Anyway, af+er +hey emerge from +he cocoon, you can probably expec+ a... phase. TT: A... phase? GA: I fondly nicknamed Kasvik's as "+he hellion phase." TT: Oh boy. GA: I+'s a +ime period when mos+ wigglers would be accus+omed +o naviga+ing +he +rials of +he brooding cavern, so +hey're much more +ense and aggressive +han usual. GA: You probably won'+ ge+ +hem +o ea+ a lo+, bu+ +ha+'s no+hing +o worry abou+. GA: I+ should s+ar+ +o wane in a week or +wo. GA: Jus+ make sure +o give +hem a lo+ of space, and maybe some+hing +o keep +hem occupied. TT: Okay. Any suggestions on what to occupy him with? GA: I defini+ely recommend some+hing crea+ive. TT: Awesome. I can do that. GA: Heheh, grea+. Well, once +he ji++ers are gone, i+'s probably +he curiosi+y you have +o wa+ch ou+ for nex+. GA: Usually wigglers on +heir own would begin +o dwell in a hive wi+h +heir lusus around +hen, and +hey s+ar+ really figuring ou+ +he world around +hem. GA: I+ can be a dangerous, bu+ very essen+ial, +ime for +hem. GA: You jus+ have +o +ry +o guide him +hrough i+, and keep him from s+icking +hings in his mou+h +ha+ don'+ belong +here. GA: Bu+ +ha+ migh+ jus+ be my experience. Kasvik s+ill +ends +o do +ha+ even now. GA: Like his foo+, for ins+ance. TT: Hahaha. TT: Poor guy. Can't even defend himself against these sick fires. GA: Hahahaha, oh, I'm sure he would be dying +o if he knew. GA: Probably accompanied by a cu+e angry emo+e. TT: That's precious. GA: I+ really is. GA: Anyway, I guess from +here +he process s+ar+s +urning in+o a more +ypical one, and he'll slowly be able +o +ell you more wha+ he needs himself. GA: Jus+ don'+ worry +oo much if he ac+s bra++y or doesn'+ seem +o wan+ your help some+imes. Trolls jus+ +end +o be na+urally independen+. TT: That makes sense. GA: I'm sure he will love you, regardless. GA: Raising a grub is a +ough +ask, bu+ i+ is more +han wor+h i+. TT: Honestly, I'm already getting a lot out of it. GA: I fel+ +he same way. GA: You're going +o be a grea+ paren+, Dirk. TT: Thanks for saying so. TT: As iffy as I might be about that, myself, I don't take any sort of challenge lightly. Especially not one so rewarding. TT: Okay that's really sappy. GA: I would be more +han happy +o allo+ you a good amoun+ of sap +ime for +his ma++er in par+icular, hehe. TT: I'm not used to being so earnestly excited about something, without some degree of irony at play. TT: Nor am I used to admitting that sort of thing. TT: But I kind of don't care? TT: It's weird. TT: This whole situation is weird. GA: Having a grub unceremoniously dropped in+o your life can do +ha+, in my experience. GA: Bu+ I'm jus+ +aking wha+ you're saying as signs of fur+her proof of my claim. TT: Hmm. Yep. I wanna be embarrassed, but I just can't bring myself to be. TT: This kid has really done a number on me. GA: Hahaha. Look forward +o more, +hen, because +his is jus+ +he firs+ ac+. There are many numbers +o come. GA: Probably a few dance rou+ines. TT: I think I'm well prepared for that. I'm a pretty theatrical guy, after all. GA: All +he be++er. ;) GA: Is +here any+hing else I can help you wi+h righ+ now? TT: Not that I can think of. But thank you for what you have helped with. TT: You've really put my mind at ease. GA: I'm really glad +o hear +ha+. GA: I guess I'll le+ you ge+ back +o business, +hen. GA: I've enjoyed cha++ing wi+h you. TT: Same. We'll have to do this again soon. GA: Yes, absolu+ely. TT: Catch you later. GA: See you around, Dirk. -- genteelAuxiliary [GA] stopped messaging technetronicTactician [TT] at 00:04 --

[growinggradience-blog]

JADE: -She isn't certain how long she's been in the tech lab, but she's sat at her desk (out of habit) in her pajamas, head down in her arms on the desk, those same arms practically wrapped around her head squishing her artificial ears to her skull. The computer isn't on, and there are no tools out. The whole room is quiet.- DIRK: *for once, dirk hadn't kept himself up all night in the tech lab, making a valiant effort to improve his general... life schedule. but he did, however, forget something in the tech lab and made his way back there to nab it, but much to his surprise, he finds a jade in there as well. of course, he knows something is up. and not just because dave told him there is.* DIRK: ... Hey, Jade. JADE: -She doesn't have enough energy to react in a way that's as startled as a part of her feels, nor to bother trying to cover up too much that she is here like this. It's strange, to be found like this, and she had wanted to avoid it, but the stranger thing is the part that almost feels glad just to not be alone with herself. Her head lifts, and she sniffs, clears her throat. She turns her face toward him a little, and there's black smudged around her eyes that she's taken her glasses off of. She doesn't want to speak, but a part of her still feels required.- JADE: hi DIRK: *he's quiet, unsure if he should just jump right into asking her how she's doing, or if she even wants that. but he figures he can go over to her side and place a comforting hand on her shoulder, in any case* DIRK: Kinda late to be hangin' in the tech lab, don't you think? DIRK: Who are you, me? *lame* JADE: -she doesn't know why that question makes her think even harder. why it makes it wonder what it would be like to be anyone else, how anyone else would feel. how someone should feel.- sorry -she says, though after she does, she realizes it doesn't really make sense here, either.- DIRK: As you should be. Makin' me look like a hard ass boss, workin' you over time. Which I mean, I am. DIRK: But... *he's rambling. he was sort of hoping it might cheer her up, but he isn't sure it'll be that easy. with a sigh, he gives that shoulder he's holding a rub* DIRK: You wanna talk about it? JADE: -he asks her that, and she isn't sure what to say. everything she's feeling, she doesn't have the words for it, or the tools to understand it. all she has are facts, and not quite how they add up, but it's all been running through her mind at light speed. dave's abuse, her feelings, her /guilt/, her /self/. it all converges to a very strange road that manifests into one thing that, with all the pieces tossed together, becomes a thought she can't get out of her head. she looks up at him for a moment, but she has to look back down at the desk, because her eyes rim with tears once the words reach her tongue.- JADE: i think i hate myself DIRK: *he winces as it hits him like a ton of bricks - the thought he hears so often in his own head. but hearing it from someone else, from jade of all people, it hurts in a whole new kind of way. he relates and it aches, because he would never want someone he cares so much about to feel that way about themselves. he squeezes her a bit tighter before going to grab a stool to park himself beside her more permanent like.* DIRK: Why do you say that? *sometimes it isn't good to dig up, but he wants to know. maybe he could debunk it. maybe he could convince her not to feel that way, even if he knows it isn't that simple.* JADE: -she almost regrets saying it after the words come out, because it's not his problem. but it's so sudden and so intense, how she suddenly realizes how wrong it seems to feel so normal, and she can't just keep it in her head. she's glad he's here, even if a part of her still screams that she shouldn't be burdening anyone else. she doesn't know how to explain herself yet, so when she speaks, the story comes out like the string of thoughts she's trying to sort through.- JADE: dave says-- he doesnt need me to tell him whats wrong JADE: what is really hurtful JADE: but i think-- i worry i dont know because JADE: i feel like ive done the same things as his bro JADE: like ive thought the same things JADE: that doesnt-- i know its not the same JADE: but i dont know why i feel... JADE: he didnt deserve to be pushed JADE: but i need to be JADE: its not fair and its not the same because his parent was real and mine wasnt JADE: -she's not entirely sure what she's saying anymore, but these thoughts, these words in the air are so strange to try to connect.- DIRK: *he listens quietly, nodding along so she knows that he is, and he reaches to her again to rest his hand on her arm* DIRK: Why do you feel like you gotta push yourself? *he focuses on that, because he doesn't want to make this about dave. he knows how easy it is to avoid what you're really feeling when you focus on someone else* JADE: because i-- have to -it's lame, and she knows that.- JADE: i cant be JADE: -her shoulders twitch, almost a shrug- JADE: ... useless DIRK: *yeah, he figured as much and he nods* You know you're not, though, right? DIRK: You don't have to prove anything, Jade. DIRK: Not to anybody. Especially not to yourself. JADE: -she is quiet for a long moment. she can't say that she does know that, even if it seems logical. it should be. but she doesn't know who she is without something of more value than simply being Jade Harley to define her.- JADE: -and then she just shakes her head, because her hesitation now, she realizes, is the problem. what can she say now that would make her silence any less? her face just finds her hands, her palms meeting wet lashes.- DIRK: *he knows he isn't the best with words, as much as he tries to be, but he knows he's at least good at being affectionate and jade looks like she could definitely use a hug. he leans in to wrap her up, holding her close and laying his cheek against her hair* DIRK: I know your head is telling you you're not worth it. But I know you wanna believe what people tell you that conflicts with that, as well. DIRK: I know it's not easy. DIRK: But believe me, Jade. You're loved just for being you. DIRK: Dave has his shit he has to work on, but it's not on you to guide him to the answers. Sometimes you just gotta be there for him while he guides himself. And sometimes that's more helpful than you might think. JADE: -it's easy to wilt into him, and while his words conflict with her thoughts in a better way, when he mentions Dave again, she hears Dave's words in her head again, piercing that tender place in her heart that's terrified of being confirmed, that struggles and fights to make sure it isn't so -- "I don't need you" -- and a sob rises out of her throat, into his chest- DIRK: *he falls quiet again, not sure what else he can even say, or if there even is anything to say. he strokes her hair, encouraging her to just let it out. he's sure she probably hasn't let herself come undone like this, so he's sure she needs it* JADE: -it's true; now that she's started again, it simply comes, but it's easier when she feels she doesn't have to hide, to resist, when it's not so unexpected. at this moment, it is simply a thing, and Dirk accepts it. more than that, a part of her is certain he understands. at some point she's found her arms circling his neck, keeping him close or else keeping herself from falling further than she has, and some time after that, she finds herself quieter.- DIRK: *when her sobs subside, he peeks down at her, but continues to run his hand over her hair* DIRK: I'd be happy to hang out with you as long as you need, but I thought you might like to know that Dave's waiting for you back at your room. DIRK: He wanted to go look for you, but I let him know you were here with me. Hope that's alright. JADE: -she nods a little, but her thoughts on the matter of Dave now feel less positive than what she wishes.- JADE: i dont know... if i can go back JADE: right now DIRK: I get you. *brushes some hair out of her face* We can chill in my room for a while if you're down. DIRK: I haven't had much opportunity to hang with just you as of late. Well, you and lil Dove here. JADE: -the reminder of her daughter is a sudden boost her tired mind needs -- if nothing else, it's something good she is a part of -- and such a bright color streaked over all the darkness in her head can't help but to make her smile, if only a little. She nods, squeezing him a little in her hold, more to affirm herself than him.- JADE: yeah JADE: id like that DIRK: *he returns the smile with one of his own, hoping to coax out her cute buck teeth in a wider grin. but even if he doesn't manage it, his smile is genuine, excited by the idea of spending time with his extended family, and dear friend.* Sweet. DIRK: *slides out of his seat, offering her a hand* You watch My Little Pony? If you don't, you gotta. You'd love it. JADE: -it's almost difficult just to let go of him, but her hold loosens enough that he can get away, and she finds his hand quickly. she needs it to get to her feet more than she thought.- hehe JADE: i will now DIRK: Alright. Let's get out of here. *gives her hand a squeeze as he exits the tech lab, bound for his quarters. he worries this won't be enough, but what sort of role model would he be if he beat himself up for the very same thing? at least he knows how much good just being near someone can be. hopefully she sees this means how glad he is to have her, and the role she plays in his life is one he definitely needs*

[twofoldacrimony-blog]

-- technetronicTactician [TT] began pestering twofoldAcrimony [TA] at 23:20 -- TT: So, as it turns out, my social graces are far worse than anyone had believed. TT: And I'm pretty sure everyone believed that they are terrible. TT: Because somehow I keep shifting conversation with my mentally unwell brother to all manner of topics regarding anathema and horrors of the mind. TT: It just won't stop keep happening. TA: holy 2hiit dude. TA: 2low the fuck down. TT: I'm trying. TA: ii2 he fliippiing the fuck out? TT: He is soft panicking at the moment. TT: I think it might be escalating. TA: maybe you 2hould talk about liike, puppiie2 or 2omethiing. TT: I tried talking about horses... TA: dude. TT: What? TA: ii2 he 2tiill fliippiing out? TT: Not exactly. He's being kind of self depricating now. TA: oh. TT: I dunno. I feel like I'm just exacerbating things. TA: ju2t talk two hiim about normal 2tuff, ii gue22. TA: liike your liife? TA: ii don't know. TA: hii2 own thought2 are probably ju2t fucked up. TT: That's an understatement. TT: No matter what I try to talk about, it always comes back to that. TT: Ugh. TA: well... you're tryiing??? TT: More like tried. TT: I'm headed back to my room now. TA: 2hiit. TA: are you ok??? TT: Not really. TA: uh... ii2 anyone goiing over there? TT: Nah. It's just me. TT: Me and Lil Cal. TA: who the fuck ii2 lil cal? TT: He's a puppet. TA: oh, of cour2e. TA: that'2 completely under2tandable. TT: Yeah, I know. Not sure why you even bothered asking. TA: you're weiird a2 fuck. TA: ii'm comiing over anyway 2o 2top makiing out wiith your puppet. TT: I'm not making out with him. TT: We're just cuddling. TA: gro22. TT: Nothing gross about the unconditional love between a man and his life long puppet friend. TT: But yeah anyway I'll see ya. SOLLUX: -Sollux just walks right in as usual. HE'S HERE.- DIRK: *he's definitely still hugging that creepy puppet while curled up in bed* DIRK: Hello. SOLLUX: holy 2hiittiing fuck. SOLLUX: what even ii2 that. DIRK: I told you. He's a puppet. SOLLUX: he'2 2tariing at me. SOLLUX: iit'2 kiind of freakiing me out. DIRK: *WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY LIKE CAL??* He's just bein' friendly. DIRK: Don't be an ass. Come on over and say hello. SOLLUX: ii kiind of liike beiing an a22 tbh. SOLLUX: al2o haviing an a22. SOLLUX: he look2 liike he miight eat iit. SOLLUX: and not iin the fun way. DIRK: Alright, fine. I'll put Lil Cal away. *he's used to it, anyway* DIRK: And then we can continue that exciting topic of conversation. I wouldn't want him to hear all that. *captchalogs lil cal and pats the bed beside him* SOLLUX: what topiic. -he plops down next to him, brows raised like I AM TOTALLY INNOCENT- DIRK: You don't know? DIRK: Or are you just being... DIRK: Tongue-in-cheek? SOLLUX: motherfucker. SOLLUX: ahahahahah. fuck. SOLLUX: -stop making me actually laugh with stupid puns- DIRK: *NEVER. he grins triumphently up at him, glad he's at least able to entertain sollux* DIRK: So, what's up? I hope you've had a better day than me. *pokes at sollux just to be annoying and because it's fun to watch him squirm* SOLLUX: -SQUIRM HE DOES, and he baps at Dirk's hand- feferii told me you made a 2tupiid bet. DIRK: *snorts* Right. I almost forgot about that. DIRK: I dunno why I agreed. Too much at risk. SOLLUX: no kiiddiing. SOLLUX: your 2hoe2??? SOLLUX: bruh. DIRK: I got caught up in the moment. DIRK: You know how I am with dares. SOLLUX: kiind of 2tupiid? ye2. SOLLUX: a re2pectable traiit two have when iit come2 two dare2. SOLLUX: except iin thii2 ca2e, becau2e, ii reiiterate... SOLLUX: bruh. DIRK: You don't think I stand a chance, do you? SOLLUX: -makes a face like EHHHHH- DIRK: It's a comfort to know that you have so much faith in me. DIRK: What would I do without your unyielding support? SOLLUX: ii mean. SOLLUX: have you 2een her teeth though. DIRK: I know, I'm fucked. SOLLUX: eheheh. ii'm not giiviing you any of miine when you lo2e. DIRK: Have mercy on me. What is a man without his sweet kicks? *dramatically flops on him* SOLLUX: -oof- really damn 2ad. SOLLUX: you could totally arrange your2elf for a fuck on top of your other fuck though, that'2 fea2iible. SOLLUX: a double fuck iif you wiill. SOLLUX: holy 2hiit that wa2 not a graceful 2egue. SOLLUX: -heel of palm to forehead- DIRK: *STARES at him* Wow. DIRK: That was a mess. *bless this mess* SOLLUX: ii know. DIRK: *he's got a stupid look on his face though because how can he not be endeared by the embarrassing things sollux says? honestly* SOLLUX: -Sollux himself just looks embarrassed. WOW HE IS STUPID. is dirk sure he's attracted to him, because sollux is not sure that he should be sure- SOLLUX: ii wiill under2tand iif you never want two do me agaiin. DIRK: *smirks before giving sollux a kiss on the cheek* DIRK: It would be cruel and unusual to deny you my perfect body now that you've experienced it. I'm a generous person, despite the stupid things you might say. DIRK: ... Plus I'd be missing out on those "double fuckings" so. SOLLUX: -squints at him- SOLLUX: you only want me for my bulge2. SOLLUX: eheheheh. DIRK: They are important to me. DIRK: We've bonded so much over them. SOLLUX: we kiind of have, what the hell. SOLLUX: alriight whatever, you can have them. DIRK: Hell yeah. DIRK: Can't wait to tell everyone that I have three whole dicks. SOLLUX: doe2 your2 REALLY count. SOLLUX: ii mean. SOLLUX: ii diidn't mean iit liike-- fuck iit. SOLLUX: -head in hands FOREVER- DIRK: *raises a brow* SOLLUX: 2top. SOLLUX: ii'm an iidiiot. DIRK: I didn't know you felt that way. DIRK: I'm sure I could find a way to make it count. SOLLUX: -he REALLY didn't mean it like that, WOW HE IS STUPID- no-- -wait what- SOLLUX: uh... SOLLUX: ?? DIRK: *POOR IDIOT. as if he's really offended by poorly executed jokes, but he sighs all the same* Gotta prove myself, is what I'm saying. DIRK: *ur gonna get it is what he's actually saying* DIRK: *BROWS??* SOLLUX: ... oh. SOLLUX: ii mean. SOLLUX: -squirms a little and clears his throat like an idiot baby- SOLLUX: -pls do not notice how much i like that idea- SOLLUX: -OR DO- DIRK: You mean...? *OH HE NOTICES. which is also noticable.* SOLLUX: ... ok. SOLLUX: -fffffffffuck, why does he have to LOOK at him like that- DIRK: *wow, he's not even going to be tsundere about it. that flusters him a bit, but he's trying to be all SUAVE here, so that smug look stays as he leans in for a kiss* SOLLUX: -Sollux knows he's a HUGE NERD but he also still manages to find him pretty slick but not in that way except for sometimes, ok this train of thought is careening off the tracks so Sollux is just giving up on it and going with the more enticing "fuck it" as he meets Dirk's mouth- DIRK: *leaving no moment wasted, a hand travels south while their lips locked, tracing carefully and tentatively over sollux's frame (the poor guy must be tender still, after all) til he found the front of his jeans to coax out some movement, if he wasn't being greeted by it already* SOLLUX: -he definitely was, on both accounts, and though Sollux was definitely good at ignoring the pain for something much better, he much preferred being taken care of. Life itself tended to give him enough pain as it was. Regardless, there was plenty of movement eager to meet Dirk's touch, and it earned him a sound displaced into his mouth, too, both out of surprise and something better.- DIRK: *that sound was met with a contented hum, one that tugs dirk's lips into a smile as he pulls away from the kiss to shift his attention elsewhere. that is, getting those jeans undone and out of the picture. dirk isn't very conscious of how he rushes when he's eager, particularly in situations like this, and he definitely is that* SOLLUX: -holy shit this is happening and sollux all about it, only letting sounds meet the air now that dirk's lips aren't there to absorb them, and he's trying to move to help him just to get it done faster. if dirk's too eager then sollux doesn't notice, because he's right there with him- DIRK: *dirk, of course, is not so eager that he can't slow down a moment to place kisses along sollux's hip and inner thigh once the clothing was done away with. pretty risky, though, with those tentacles going to town as they often do.* SOLLUX: -did Dirk just get dickslapped a little? MAYBE. i mean, it's not like it happens on purpose. it just kind of happens. sollux himself just takes a sharp brreath because, despite the fact that they've done this before, it doesn't make it any less unbelievable that it somehow continues to happen.- DIRK: *if we didn't know any better, I'd say dirk likes getting dickslapped a little. but that is a topic for another time, because for now, he has pulled away to free himself from his own restrictive clothing. but it doesn't take long and he's back up against sollux again, prolonging things only to leave more kisses along his neck* SOLLUX: -sollux is sorely tempted to whine about it when dirk pulls away, but at the very least he gets to watch, he supposes, and by the time dirk comes close again, sollux's hands and various other clingy body parts are trying to get him closer and keep him there, hips rolling into him a little just... you know... in case he forgot, which he knows he didn't- DIRK: *a small groan rumbles against sollux's neck as he grasps desperately at dirk, where ever he can with whatever he can, and dirk can't hold back another second. drawing away again, he shifts into a comfortable position between sollux's legs, guiding himself to the part of sollux's anatomy he's eager to finally get to know, but glances up at the other before he thinks about proceeding. he's honestly DIRK:  a little nervous, hoping their respective alien bits fit together as nicely as they do the other way around* SOLLUX: -that sound rattles its way to sollux's core, gold tendrils twisting in anxious response, and his legs shift further apart on an instinct that's almost automatic. he can feel dirk exactly where he wants him, and he can feel his hesitation, too, and while it aches in him, he knows what he's waiting for. his teeth are digging into his lip as he nods, his breath hard to keep steady. he wanted this.- SOLLUX: do iit. plea2e, -he added as an afterthought, and felt just a little silly for it, but that faded quickly enough.- DIRK: *containing a small muttering of "holy shit" is pretty much impossible, though it's caught at the edge of his breath as it hitches in awe. yes, this is happening, and simply being wanted so severely continues to be the most exciting part of all of this. he does just as he's asked, slowly, carefully sliding inside, his breath stolen from him again, but not before another expletive tumbles out, much DIRK:  less inhibited than the last* SOLLUX: -he would absorb all the curses if he could, if only for where they came from and what they meant, but right now he was taking in something much more substantial, blunt nails pressing into dirk's skin and a sound catching in his throat. it was definitely different than he was used to (loosely, it wasn't as if he had done this but a few times), and there was a bit of a pinch taking him in, but the SOLLUX: pain settled quickly enough as his body adjusted.- oh-- 2hiit... -yeah. expletive was right.- DIRK: *he caught his breath enough to start asking questions, still worried about sollux's comfort, especially when he's still covered in bruises.* That feel good...? *he presses in a bit further, but is otherwise taking it slow, holding sollux's face in the palm of one hand as he searches his expression* SOLLUX: -oh god damn it, why did he have to be so much of everything that sollux wanted and didn't know how to take?- kiind of... ju2t needed a 2ec. -he didn't want to lie to him, but he didn't want him to worry, either.- you're good. DIRK: Okay. *and as he leans in to capture sollux in another kiss, he allows himself to move a little more freely, but while keeping a slow pace with the roll of his hips* SOLLUX: -he's glad for it, for something to melt himself into, and it isn't long before he feels confident enough that the discomfort has subsided for his hips to move, too, to meet him. if ever there were a time he was grateful for something undeniably stupid he said, it's probably right now.-

[twofoldacrimony-blog]

-- twofoldAcrimony [TA] began pestering technetronicTactician [TT] at 15:19 -- TA: hey. TA: ii got you a 2andwiich. TT: Why? TA: iidfk ju2t 2hut up and take my goddamn 2andwiich. TT: Well okay. TA: okay. TA: ii'm otw. TT: See you. And your sandwich, I guess. SOLLUX: -and Sollux is zooming off to the tech lab, which isn't that far from the cafeteria thankfully. It's just one level up and everything. He slips inside, much slower as he actually touches down and walks toward Dirk. He's still pretty sore basically everywhere, but floating helps him ignore it. There's probably a noticeable flinch, but he's also kind of used to hurting, so he doesn't look terribly different. The whole sandwich thing was mostly stolen from Aradia, if he's being honest. Whenever he was down, he tended to avoid eating and she shoved food on him. He didn't exactly know how to take care of people, but he could at least copy the habits of someone better than him, and surely Dirk wasn't doing great right now. Sollux holds the sandwich out to him.- DIRK: *dirk definitely was not okay, which he also decided to ignore in the usual form of working himself to near death. between brief visits to the infirmary, he's spent most of his time here, fortifying the power and making sure everything is continuing to run smoothly after that fun mission. when sollux arrives, he doesn't give him his immediate attention, pretty absorbed in what he's doing, but he pries himself away after a few seconds to swivel in his chair at him, giving the sandwich an incredulous look before taking it.* Thanks. SOLLUX: you're welcome. -and now he's peering at what Dirk is up to. He's doing that now?? He doesn't look like he's slept much, either, unlike Sollux, who had decided to catch up on his sleep for the week (and then some for injuries).- SOLLUX: you 2hould eat iit. DIRK: That is what you usually do with sandwiches. *he indulges him and takes a bite, but sets the plate down afterwards and gets right back to what he was doing* SOLLUX: ... SOLLUX: you know ii can work on that, riight? DIRK: *stops to think about this* Good plan. You work on this and I can go check out the engines. SOLLUX: no, ii work on thii2 and you 2iit the fuck down and eat your 2andwiich. DIRK: I can eat it on the walk there. SOLLUX: you can eat iit riight here. DIRK: *turns around to STARE at him. he knows this game and he knows he's gonna lose. he always does. so he gives in and picks the sandwich back up, spitefully taking a bite out of it* SOLLUX: cool. SOLLUX: now get outta my way. DIRK: *pats his lap like there's a seat right here, because he's not getting out of his chair, nor is he taking any more commands from his SUBORDINATE BOYFRIEND* SOLLUX: are you 2eriiou2. DIRK: I'm always serious. SOLLUX: ... -soft grumbles and maneuvers awkwardly and stiffly into his lap because that hurts a little- DIRK: *raises a brow at him, finding that a bit pecuiliar, but leans back to give sollux some more room and returns to eating his sandwich* DIRK: Are you doin' alright? SOLLUX: yeah, iit'2 whatever. -DISMISSED, he starts getting to work- how'2 dave? DIRK: *frowns* He had to get some surgery done, but I'm not entirely convinced the docs know exactly what's wrong with him. DIRK: Seems like some kind of brain damage. He's not very coherent and he keeps freaking out. *sighs* So, yeah. I don't know. He isn't great. SOLLUX: 2hiit. SOLLUX: ... 2orry. SOLLUX: -He can sort of relate, but then, being a ghost is kind of different from brain damage. Either way, it sucks.- SOLLUX: been checkiing on him a lot? DIRK: I've been popping in from time to time. Usually Jade's with him. *pauses* Or our dad. Which is kind of unusual. But I'm glad to see it, I guess. DIRK: *leans forward with a sigh, resting his forehead on sollux's shoulder* SOLLUX: your dad? -his breathing tenses just a little when Dirk leans into him, but he doesn't say anything- DIRK: Yeah. Dunno if you've seen him around, but he basically looks exactly like me, only twenty years older. And he wears a baseball cap and pops his collar because he's a douchebag. DIRK: Just kinda showed up out of the blue one day and has been tagging along on the ship ever since. On and off. He fucked off for a while, but he's back now. DIRK: Not that it really matters to me cuz I never really got to know him. DIRK: Actually, the full explanation here requires me to delve deep into my tragic back story and I dunno if we wanna go down that road right now. SOLLUX: -Now that he mentioned it, he felt like he probably had seen that guy around before, it just didn't really register to him. He wasn't the most observant when it came to other people.- yeah, ok. SOLLUX: ii gue22 iit'2 good 2omeone'2 there, anyway. SOLLUX: -peers to check on his sandwich eating progress- DIRK: Yeah. I guess so. *the sandwich has been COMPLETED and dirk is just kind of holding the plate while slumped against sollux like a sad sack of tubers* SOLLUX: ... -nudges him with his shoulder a little- SOLLUX: -look at me, sad nerd- DIRK: *UR A SAD NERD. but he does glance up at the encouragement* SOLLUX: -and then Sollux just leans in and kisses him- DIRK: *his heart flutters as their lips meet. he hadn't expected the light affectionate gesture, but he definitely needed it and he melts into it, letting his eyes sink closed* SOLLUX: -the response feels like success. he can't really wrap his arms around Dirk from this angle, but he can at least be a prop, and he tugs his own glasses up and off just so they're not bumping eyewear accessories like they're prone to doing.- DIRK: *he finally sets the plate off to the side, freeing up his hands to wrap them loosely around sollux's middle. eventually, but reluctantly, he draws away from the kiss, peeking up at him still over pointed shades. there are things he wants to say to sollux, but he isn't quite sure how to word them, or express them, or what's even alright to say. this quadrant shit was confusing, but at least he didn't feel confused about sollux himself* SOLLUX: -Seeing Dirk's actual eyes, he just looked... tired. Maybe he was relaxing a little more now, but Sollux couldn't help wondering.- ... how long have you been iin here? DIRK: *glances away, thinking* Well, after hanging with Dave for a while when we got back, I tried to get some sleep. Came in here the next morning... So, since yesterday, I guess. *was that right? he hasn't even been keeping track of time* DIRK: I came out to eat though. *at some point. he can't even remember when but he DID IT* SOLLUX: -well... he might do the same thing sometimes, but even he knows that's not healthy. especially not for squishy humans. he grunts, but it's not exactly a positive sound. instead of berating Dirk, he decides to just keep working. if he can't really stop him from being here -- which, really, he can't outside of sitting in his lap, and he doesn't want to fight him when his human relative is hurt -- he can at least do this for him and let him rest.- SOLLUX: you really kiicked tentacle a22 back there. -it wasn't direct, but what he was trying to say was that Dirk had done all he could. he had probably saved Dave from an even worse fate than this one.- DIRK: *scoffs a bit. the sentiment is lost on him, but he can appreciate it anyway, if not for it's intended affect* You're the one who wrecked it with that crazy ass laser beam shit. SOLLUX: iit'2 called a gazebla2t. SOLLUX: jk that'2 2tupiid. DIRK: *UR STUPID jk* It's dope is what it is. SOLLUX: your face ii2 dope. DIRK: Tell me something I don't know. SOLLUX: your eye2... are an ocean. SOLLUX: your diick... ii2 al2o an ocean. DIRK: ... DIRK: Well, I definitely didn't know that. DIRK: Good job. DIRK: *leans on him while snickering. what a fucking NERD.* SOLLUX: -he's snickering too. EHEHEHEHEH- SOLLUX: ehehehow. DIRK: *AND WHAT A STUPID LAUGH that he definitely doesn't love but wait, dirk's not laughing anymore* Are you okay? SOLLUX: -GRUNT- SOLLUX: my body diidn't appreciiate gettiing iintiimate wiith a wall. DIRK: *frowns, realizing something* Did you go to the infirmary after that? SOLLUX: no? DIRK: Dude. Why not? SOLLUX: iit'2 ju2t bruii2e2. SOLLUX: ii mean, ii diidn't get wrecked liike everybody el2e. -normally he would LOVE to whine about it, but considering.....- DIRK: What if you broke something? I mean, you're pretty much made of glass. SOLLUX: -soft gurgles- DIRK: Come on. It's hardly an inconvenience. DIRK: It probably ain't anything besides bruises, but I'd like for you to be sure. SOLLUX: ii've got 2hiit two do here. iif you're that worriied, you can ju2t check me out your2elf. DIRK: *ROLLS EYES* I'm afraid I'm not certified in that field. Me checking you out will do very little for you, besides making you turn yellow, maybe. SOLLUX: work2 for me. DIRK: *readjusts his hold on sollux so he can HOIST him up as he stands* We're going to the infirmary. SOLLUX: oh god damn iit. SOLLUX: no! DIRK: Yes. SOLLUX: no! DIRK: *starts carrying him out of the tech lab* Yes. SOLLUX: 2top! DIRK: Make me. SOLLUX: -starts psionically trying to make him walk backwards- DIRK: *what the fuck? that sure feels weird* If you wanted to see me moonwalk, you could've just asked. *TRIES TO RESIST and press on anyway, but he's getting no where fast* SOLLUX: -he's just walking in place pretty much lmfao- eheheheh. SOLLUX: niice move2. DIRK: Fuck you. DIRK: Now cut this shit out so I can get you some goddamn help. SOLLUX: how about iif ii go, you get 2ome goddamn 2leep. DIRK: *you FUCK* Fine. SOLLUX: -brows- SOLLUX: you 2ure about that? DIRK: Ugh. Yes. SOLLUX: alriight. but iif you're not iin your ab2urd human bed, ii'm floatiing you two iit. DIRK: That's fair. SOLLUX: ... you gonna keep carryiing me there or am ii goiing my2elf? DIRK: ... *he likes carrying him* Well... I have to make sure you keep your word. SOLLUX: hnf. -FROWNS LOUDLY, but just buries his face in Dirk's shoulder- DIRK: *smiles to himself once sollux's face is hidden before proceeding forth to the infirmary* SOLLUX: -and he's going to be a big noodle baby the entire way- DIRK: *slam dunks sollux in the infirmary before making good on his own promise and going to crash in his room. he just hopes there is nothing wrong with sollux, because he isn't sure if he can deal with him and dave both being in a bad way, especially when he feels like he could've done something to prevent it... he also hopes that, if everything is alright, sollux will make his way over there to check in on him. and maybe stay for cuddles. but hey whatever.* SOLLUX: -that was absolutely his plan, and as soon as Sollux is done getting checked out (he's fine outside of the bruising, they just tell him to take it easy), he heads over to Dirk's room to slink in quietly in case Dirk is asleep and slip into the bed with him.- DIRK: *he has fallen asleep BUT HE STILL MANAGES TO FIND SOLLUX TO CLING TO HIM DESPITE THIS.* SOLLUX: -HE IS CRUSH, but he's completely ok with this. it really just makes it easier for him to sleep, himself.-

[twofoldacrimony-blog]

-- technetronicTactician [TT] began pestering twofoldAcrimony [TA] at 23:26 -- TT: Hey nerd. TA: who're you calliing nerd, nerd. TT: My mistake. You're more of a dweeb or a geek. TT: Which, as we all know, are the most deserving of being forcefully placed inside lockers. TA: oh 2hiit, look who thiink2 he'2 the biig 2hot around 2chool. TA: but the real que2tiion ii2. TA: do you even liift????? TT: Next time I catch you ogling my rippling muscles, you can answer that question for yourself. TA: riippliing miight be a liittle much. TT: But it's my favorite way to describe muscles. TA: not bulgiing or ma22iive? glii2teniing? come on. TT: Hahaha. TT: Good point. TA: ii have many good poiint2. and ii'm al2o haviing deja vu. TT: How mysterious. TT: Thinly veiled jokes about genitals aside, what's up? TA: ii dunno. TT: You don't know? TA: AA told me you told her off or 2omethiing, lol. TT: Oh. TT: Yeah. I mean, sort of. TA: why??? TT: She told me about everything that's been going down between you and her and Feferi. TT: I guess I thought it was kind of fucked up? TT: It's probably none of my business. TT: But you know, you were so broken up about shit with Feferi. TT: And... Yeah. TA: yeah. okay. TA: ii don't even know what iit ii2 two be hone2t. TT: Well, that doesn't sound too positive, so I suppose I shouldn't feel like my frustration was entirely moot point. TA: feferii 2tiill ha2n't talked two me and aradiia 2aiid 2he miight be haviing 2econd thought2. TA: ii want two feel liike that'2 good? TA: but ii don't really. TA: whiich ju2t make2 me feel liike an a22hole. TT: I think it's understandable. TT: It sucks dealing with someone's uncertainty constantly. TT: Kinda just feels like you're along for the ride until they figure shit out. TT: It's not exactly fair. Nor is it fun. It's basically the worst fucking ride. The wooden kind of coaster that just jerks you around and gives you a pain in the neck. TT: And you keep hoping for some crazy ass loop-di-loop or a sudden drop that'll make it all feel worth it but it never comes. TT: All you got to show for it is this garbage photograph where you're making some embarrassing grimace. TT: Like what the fuck? I paid for this? I waited in line for this? TT: ... Okay. That metaphor got away from me. TA: wow, holy 2hiit. TA: yeah, that 2ound2 about riight, but al2o, lmfao wow. TT: I know. TA: you 2ound liike you know from experiience. TT: I am pretty fond of roller coasters. TA: you know what ii mean you fuckflap. TT: Yeah, alright. TT: It was a confusing experience, to say the least. TT: And I didn't know what to do about it for a long time. Kinda hard to guage how worthwhile hanging around was. TT: I didn't know how a fulfilling relationship was supposed to feel. TT: But now I do. TA: oh. TT: Uh. TT: Yeah. TA: really??? TT: Oh my God. TT: Yes. TA: 2orry ii ju2t. TA: you're not planniing two liike, take off or become gravely iinjured anytiime 2oon are you. TA: ii'd a2k iif you were goiing two diie but ii at lea2t already have the head2 up on that one. TT: You think I have time for that with *my* busy schedule? TT: And where the fuck would I even go? This ship would fall apart without me. TA: ii mean. liike. TA: away from me. TT: I know what you mean. TT: I'm not going anywhere. TA: are you goiing anywhere riight thii2 2econd? TA: ii mean, liiterally. TA: ii'm probably goiing two your block, ii2 the poiint ii'm fuckiing up. TT: Heh. TT: I'll be there. SOLLUX: -Sollux did the thing again. The thing being, he got so caught up in his own thoughts and confusion that he dipped into his stupid memory bank and automatically input the code to Dirk's door that he had already hacked. You know, for reference. Dirk's door is just sliding open, haha WHAT'S UP. Sollux stands there for a second or two looking bewildered that that happened despite the fact that his hand is still raised from doing it.- DIRK: *SUDDENLY SOLLUX. he might have known he had the code, but the look on sollux's face tells him he hadn't meant to give away that secret. while dirk's bewildered at first, his expression melts into a smirk as he turns all the way around in his desk chair* DIRK: You gonna come in? DIRK: I know. It's amazing. Seeing me here, in my own block. SOLLUX: -He's having a hard time actually being annoyed at Dirk for saying that, which is confusing, too, but he does step inside. What he really wants to do is move over to him and curl up in his lap like a clingy wiggler, but he doesn't. He just sort of stands there near him.- SOLLUX: hey. DIRK: *it's confusing for dirk too, sollux coming to him like this, so clearly driven by the desire just to be with him, but what is even more confusing is how these mixed feelings are all pleasant ones. by the time sollux reaches him, the smirk is gone. there's no arrogance to be found in the upturn of his lips, the rare flash of his teeth. he makes a move on sollux's behalf, perhaps some more reassurance that he is indeed there, reaching out to take his hands in his own.* DIRK: Hey. SOLLUX: -He's got him, and Sollux doesn't know what to do about it except... hold his hands, too, because that's what he's doing.- SOLLUX: 2hould ii-- are you. gonna keep 2iittiing. DIRK: *whAT AN AWKWARD NERD. sollux puts dirk's awkward nerdiness to fucking shame. he snorts, pulling sollux over plop him into his lap* DIRK: I just was having fun watching you stand around lookin' like a fool. SOLLUX: -Oh thank fucking God. Sollux practically melts into him after he plops down with a grunt, and he's suddenly keenly aware of the smell of Dirk's skin, how he can recognize it and how it's something that makes him feel relieved. He turns his face into him, if only to lose himself in it more.- fuck off, 2triider, -he mutters, half heartedly.- DIRK: *his arms coil around sollux's frame gently, but securely, brushing his cheek against his forehead and leaving a soft kiss there* You're giving me mixed signals, here. SOLLUX: fuck, what el2e ii2 new. -For the moment, though, he didn't care, because the fact that Dirk didn't care was incredible enough in itself. He wasn't leaving. He wasn't holding back, for whatever reason. Nor was he hung up on some other apparent problem, something too big for Sollux to fix. He was just... here. Right now, in the present, with a promise of a future. And, God, that was terrifying, but he couldn't bring himself to stop needing it, needing this. So one of his arms moved around Dirk's shoulders, making sure he stayed close.- DIRK: Heh. That has somehow become our deal. *no, he didn't care. when left to his own devices, dirk would worry about the nature of their relationship. he'd worry about how to define it or what consequences might arise if he couldn't. but as soon as he was with sollux again, it didn't matter. all that mattered was the consistency, the devotion, and the reciprocation that kept his paranoia and all his doubts at bay. he realized that, putting it plainly, when he was with sollux, he was happy* SOLLUX: ha2 iit?? -Fuck, he had barely even thought about it, and while he didn't want to care, now that Dirk said so, a part of him wondered what that meant. What difference it might have made. Dirk didn't sound like it was bad, but having good things still felt so new.- DIRK: Well, if you hadn't noticed, it doesn't really matter, does it? *... does it?? he pulls back a bit to peer at him curiously, or at least as best he can from this angle* SOLLUX: -He just looked back at Dirk. It sure as hell didn't matter to him, and if it didn't to Dirk... Fuck it. He had the chance so he took it, leaning in to press their lips together, because it was better than words.- DIRK: *kissing him was suddenly very difficult, because he had a goofy grin on his face by the time their lips met. he held sollux tighter against him, eventually getting it together so he can return the kiss more properly* SOLLUX: -that's way better than Sollux's goofy teeth getting in the way, but then that's pretty much inevitable no matter what. the fact that he can tell Dirk is smiling kind of makes him smile too, though, and this kiss is just all kinds of fucked up for a minute, but Sollux doesn't give a shit.- fuck, -he breathed, still kind of smiling,- you fucked me up. god damn iit. DIRK: You don't look like you mind. *the grin returns as he brings a hand up to brush his cheek with his thumb, then rest his hand there, keeping sollux in place so he can gaze at him* SOLLUX: -He was trying to frown, but his face wasn't so willing to comply, not with Dirk holding it and looking at him like he was. He wanted to argue, but every retort he could come up with was quickly dying on his tongue. What was he arguing, again? He just didn't want to move, or think about anything else, because this was so much of what he already wanted. And this time, he didn't really want to put up a fight.-