#disability bitching

[mischief-missie]

Trying to breath while utterly exhausted is my least favourite way to breath. The whole time I'm worried I'm just going to suffocate or pass out cause I don't have the muscles to breath deep enough to satisfy my body.

[figgyblossom]

My roommate is house-sitting for his rents this week and before he left he asked if I would do the dishes before he got back (a fair request, I havent cleaned cleaned the kitchen in a couple weeks and I am the one who uses the kitchen/dishes the most, so.. non-issue there.) But like..... dishes are my worst chore esp & because "dishes" includes putting away the clean dishes and wiping down the counters and oven.. (i have to make.myswlf ignore how dirty the floors are bcuz doing that too would just take me out) 🥲 I just watered all my plants and broke down some cardboard boxes I've had laying around the house and.. I am already so wiped 😭 and I'm going to the gym with my friend today and I work the next 2 days so I'm like... already preparing to be completely depleted and unproductive on Tuesday, and maybe I can get some house stuff done tomorrow after work of i do it right when I get home (like dont even take off my shoes and definitely dont sit down) and I just 😮‍💨 there's so much to do and I still have school stuff and my other job to do this next wk and I just want to cry because I really don't know how I'll manage to do everything without wanting to just ☠️☠️☠️ I'm just so tired and feel so defeated. It's gonna be in the 60s and even up to 70 tomorrow and I can't even get excited and energized about that 😭 plus I work?? Why do the nice days keep being my work days?? Okay this has been a fun derail but I'm just gonna stop now because it's becoming an unhelpful spiral

I just want to feel, do, and be better yknow?