#disabled lee

[kikibumblesqueaks]

I’m having such a hard time being active on tumblr. I know everyone will tell me I’m wrong but I just feel like I don’t belong here anymore. I’m not leaving but my enthusiasm has fizzled. I’m so burnt out. It’s just… I never see anybody talking about how hard it is being a disabled lee and I feel so alone and unrelatable and undesirable. My feed is full of able-bodied fantasies and all I can hear is this voice in my head saying “you will NEVER get to experience this” with each scroll and eventually the tears come up and I just close the app and don’t want to open it again for days. I don’t want to leave because I have nowhere else to go, this is my only safe place to talk about my favorite thing. But I don’t even feel like talking about it anymore. It’s no longer an easy happy subject. I wish I had a community that knows what it feels like to laugh too hard and get an explosion of fiery pain in their chest. To flinch in the wrong direction and get shooting pain in their back. Tensing up for too long and feeling stabbing pain in their pelvic floor muscles. Freely screaming and cackling their heads off being very risky or not even being an option. Never able to lay flat in the classic spread eagle position without shooting pain and subluxed joints, or lay on their stomach, or have their arms pinned above their head, and can’t be tickled while free standing. Knowing what it’s like to have to say no to tickles because it will make you hurt worse even though you’re in a desperate lee mood and it’s the most soul crushing feeling. I want to feel seen and understood by people who truly get it.

-> minors/ageless DNI <-

[aceleeticklish]

definitely not thinking about being sat on a train or in a café in my wheelchair and my ler starts tickling me and i can’t get away……. Like they get my neck or sides…. Oh my….. 🫠🫠🫠🫠

[kikibumblesqueaks]

Hello tumblr🥺 I missed y’all😭

I’m not better, I’m still struggling with what I now know is Costochondritis (inflammation of the cartilage that connects a rib to the sternum) and laughing is still a big nope and getting tickled is therefore also still a big nope and I am BIG FUCKING SAD. It’s probably gonna take a couple more months to heal and even when it does I have to be careful so I don’t fuck it all up again so idek what my future as a lee will look like and it’s very upsetting and depressing for me😞😞💔💔💔💔

BUT I MISS TUMBLR AND MY GIGGLE FRIENDS and still have tickle stuff to post and I hate not answering the asks I’m getting so….

I’m back BUT I’m still not sure how active or chatty I’ll be, I’m feeling too tired to do a lot of DMing and sometimes looking at other people posting about tickle stuff makes me feel sad because of my current situation not knowing if I’ll ever get to properly wheeze all the air out of my lungs again buuuuut I just can’t stay away either so heh idefk I’ll be floating in and out and around whenever I’m in the mood I suppose😅

Same as always, if it takes me ages to reply to you it’s not you, it’s me and my many illnesses being too sleepy and snaily🐌🥲

-> minors/ageless DNI <-

Edit: I’m already feeling a lil happier scrolling through y’all’s blogs again🥹

[aceleeticklish]

I’m so scared that I’m fantasising about being tickled so much, that when … I do eventually get t words…. I’ll end up hating it, or I won’t be a good lee. That I won’t be able to put up with a ler/lee/dom/sub dynamic….. that my disability will make me too hard to love, as a partner (both in play and romance)…. 👉🏼👈🏼😕

[aceleeticklish]

When people tell you about their disability do not say ‘I’m sorry ’ or ‘I’ll pray for you” it’s our life, not something that needs to be cured. Feeling sorry for us fixes NOTHING. learn about how you can help, but never assume we.NEED YOUR HELP.

ask and learn people! This is no aimed at anyone in particular.

[aceleeticklish]

I've seen you mention your disability a few times in your posts. If I may ask, what is it? You don't at all have to answer if you're uncomfortable doing so, there's no pressure here at all, in fact if you'd rather just delete this ask instead of answering it publicly I'd fully understand. I'm just curious and thought I'd see if you're willing to share.

Regardless of if you choose to answer or not, I hope you have a lovely night, and I hope my question isn't too invasive 💕

Hey anon, nah it’s ok. I have spastic diplegic (think that how it spelt) cerebral palsy, and nystagmus (involuntary movement of the eyes) and optical nerve damage. Thanks for the question anon 💙 have a lovely night/day too!