#disappointing unicorns

[earlgraytay]

HELLO, TUMBLR BLAZE! DO YOU LIKE:

autistic protagonists

unicorns that are more like fancy goats

veterinarian stories

customer service comedy/unreasonable customers getting dunked on

If you answered YES to these questions, you should check out The Unicorn's Beard:

Sawbones, a wandering veterinarian, is forced into the service of the queen. They must use their knowledge of goat diseases to cure her sick unicorn- or it's off with their head. Can they discover what's wrong- and can they save the Queen's pet from Her Majesty?

The Unicorn's Beard is a humourous fantasy short story featuring an autistic, nonbinary protagonist who is not getting paid enough for this nonsense.

BUY HERE: AMAZON (99 cents) || SMASHWORDS (pay what you want)

if you like my work, please leave a review! Reviews help independent authors fight The Algorithm and get their work noticed. :D

[earlgraytay]

i was straight-up not having a good time so @kitrona showed me all these beautiful terrible American Animals that look like they stepped straight outta @historieofbeafts

from top to bottom:

- alligator with dead anime mom eyes

- sloth, or some kind of possum

- llamas, feat. Quasimodo

- the buffest beavers you have ever seen

- whales as drawn by Julia Drawfee (thx @packbat)

- [monty python voice] the manatee

- and a VERY GOOD FRIEND INDEED, ALL HAIL UNIBAT

[earlgraytay]

“So hey, it's #FreebieFriday - let's do a giveaway! #freebook #freebooks 15 lucky people who comment on this thread will get a FREE copy of The Unicorn's Beard- a story about an #autistic #fantasy vet who must heal an evil queen's sick #unicorn - or it's off with their head!”

I’m doing a giveaway on Twitter! Want a free ebook about an autistic, nonbinary fantasy veterinarian? 

[earlgraytay]

survivablyso replied to your link “Advance Review Copies: The Unicorn's Beard”

omg I HATE the weird ass thing where everyone calls a horse with a Horn glued to its head a unicorn when unicorns CLEARLY have cloven hooves I am legit gonna buy this for that reason

...wait. 

Does this mean unicorns are kosher? 

[earlgraytay]

I realized something funny today: my “unicorns with goat diseases” short story is basically a ‘50s Asimov story, just in a completely different setting. 

A dryly witty protagonist is stuck in a seemingly impossible situation at the behest of arbitrary local government. They solve the problem with science. The human element isn’t very strong-- the story is more focused on the puzzle, and possibly the escape that follows it.  

The only real difference is fluff- the protagonist is an autistic vet in a fantasy world, rather than a fast-talking smuggler in a SF world. If I changed the stagecoach to a spaceship and Sawb’s plague doctor costume to a spacesuit, I’d have a Foundation/Trader story on my hands.