A) this was sent on my birthday and getting an excuse to talk and talk and talk about this fuckin idiot is honestly such a wonderful gift bless you
B) strap urself in because this will probably get long.(also before i start sorry discorcl that i never posted the other ask/message that you sent, i kept meaning to but i wanted to draw something for it and it was a while before my schedule cleared up enough to have time to draw and by then i had Forgotten. im very sorry /)~(\)
Okay so. Interestingly enough (to me at least) I don’t remember the Moment I realized I had a thing for heinz? I have an approximate area of time that i can pinpoint due to remembering reacting to a few certain episodes, the ‘created on’ dates on some (copies, unfortunately) of fanfics i wrote, that kind of thing. But no actual big exciting moment where i realized that i had a crush on Heinz Doofenshmirtz. What i DO (quite vividly) remember, though, is the moment i realized that my feelings might have been a lot uh,,, worse Stronger than I had realized.
((I put the rest under a cut because it is, as I predicted, LONG AS FUCK))
The episode title is ‘The Great Indoors’. It’s the first episode in season 3, and it premiered in the US (where I am, and have always been) in 2011. In it, Heinz builds a device to cause rain and calls it, naturally, the Rain-inator. But he doesn’t just tell perry what it’s called, he does this- i wish i could find a youtube clip of the moment, but I can’t-
so majestic
he spins around it, and says ‘raaain-inator~!’ in such an excited, sing-song way, and my god. its the actual Cutest Thing in the entire goddamn universe. And i saw this, and my heart LEAPT, in a way that it genuinely hadn’t before, even tho i’d had plenty of like, soft crushes (real and fictional) by then. and i was like, SHIT.
i mean, god, just look at him?????? he’s so so smart and creative, even tho he doesn’t have like, the best street smarts (he’s the picture of high int low wis, if you’re familiar with d&d). I’ve had friends who’ve dared to say he was stupid before (as in like, “why do u like him, he’s an idiot”), and its like?? bitch? the stuff phineas and ferb make is continuously referred to in the show as being extraordinary. granted, they’re children, so obviously anything they make is bound to be more impressive than an adult making it- i swear i’m not like, trying to put p&f down. they’re wonderful. BUT my point is, they’re amazing in GENERAL, not just for children- and Heinz builds inators that are consistently on the same level as them! His inventions are rarely if ever the direct reason his schemes go wrong- they almost all (i want to say straight-up all, but its been a while since i watched the series and i don’t want to make a blanket statement without proof) do the insane things they’re designed to do, and that’s amazing! It’s even touched on briefly in one episode (’Knot My Problem’), that if heinz patented even one of his inators, he could get rich- because its a genuinely amazing invention. He’s SO smart and obviously good with his hands wink wink nudge nudge-
Plus like god not to sound shallow but he’s SO FUCKING CUTE. have you SEEN this guy? LOOK AT HIS FACE
(^I love this one in particular- it’s a gorgeous face of course, but even beyond that the animation in that moment is super smooth and just feels really nice to watch.)
I could go on and on and on obviously, but i’ll spare you. The thing that’s really impressive is that Every Single One of these last six screencaps are from ONE song- The Inator Method (the nice animation moment I mentioned is at about 28 seconds in, if you don’t want to watch the whole thing for some reason). ALL THESE QUALITY FACES are from A MINUTE LONG SONG. He’s SO expressive and bouncy and energetic and so fucking handsome all the time, in EVERYTHING he does and-
okay one more picture. just because i love it. indulge me pls its my birthday
how can you not love a man like this, seriously
Alright, so speaking of his singing- I might be biased, because i seriously love broadway-style, showtuney songs, BUT THIS MAN. THIS MAN AND HIS AMAZING SONGS. He doesn’t have a traditionally ‘nice’ voice but he doesn’t care and he puts all of his heart into his songs and you can TELL how much he’s enjoying himself (which, as someone who also is tone-deaf, i’m so jealous of his ability to do) and his songs are SO fun and nice to listen to because of it. that said not to be That Bitch but i love his voice tbh, i think its nice <3
and okay this isn’t fully related cause I try to keep this headcanon separate from my selfshipping cause i don’t want to seem like i’m fetishizing trans people, BUT you said talk about heinz and a BIG BIG headcanon of mine is that he’s a trans man and its a headcanon i love sharing with people cause there’s really a lot of canon that backs it up (not that you need canon ‘’evidence’’ to headcanon someone as trans, obviously. but its still exciting when a headcanon can be backed up by canon, you know?). Starting from less strong ‘evidence’ and building up to stronger-Point A: His voice is quite high-pitched. That’s my weakest evidence tbh, since obviously cis men can have high pitched voices and cis women can have low pitched voices. But its a point nonetheless, so I don’t want to exclude it.Point B: He mentions in an earlier episode (’Crack That Whip’) that he “can’t” grow facial hair and is miserable because of it. Yet, in a couple of later episodes (’Phineas and Ferb Hawaiian Vacation’ where he’s trapped on an island, and a bit in ‘My Fair Goalie’ where he’s sick) he’s seen with stubble. Am I implying that between season 1 and season 2 he started hrt and gained the ability to grow facial hair as a result? Yes, yes I am.Point C: [Warning on this point for mentions of transphobia, skip this one if you don’t want to watch me get way too Real World about this cute cartoon man.] His family :/ Obviously some parents are just abusive and the way Heinz’s parents treat him could very well have nothing to do with his gender identity; honestly, I wouldn’t bring this up except for one specific thing: when Heinz was a kid and his parents expected Roger to be born dfab, they got a lot of dresses (’Gaming The System’). When Roger was born dmab, they had Heinz wear the dresses intended for Roger (in-universe this is explained as them being “out of material” but 1) disney hardly allows lgbt content NOW, obviously they wouldn’t have allowed a trans main character on a show in roughly 2009, and 2) this could just be what Heinz’s parents told him, rather than being the truth). Drusselstein is shown several times throughout the series to be a very old-fashioned and shitty place- obviously Heinz’s parents don’t care about him, but you would think that in that kind of super-not-pc political climate, it would embarrass them just as much as it would embarrass him to have their son wear dresses. Unless, of course, nobody knows Heinz is a guy yet…Point D: In ‘That’s The Spirit’ he turns into a were-cow. Not a were-bull. A were-cow. With udders.
So there ya go.
In conclusion Heinz Doofenshmirtz is perfect and I love him more than life itself, and if anyone wants me to elaborate on ANYTHING i’ve said here or post more pics of the Handsome Man all you have to do is breath half of a hint and i will gladly write seven more paragraphs because i love Heinz and i LOVE TALKING ABOUT HIM
