Mar 8
oh yeah I did finish the beats. Excuse the laundry detergent
seen from Yemen
seen from T1
seen from Germany
seen from Yemen
seen from Poland
seen from Iraq
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from Yemen
seen from Canada
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Netherlands
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
oh yeah I did finish the beats. Excuse the laundry detergent
more than anything else I just want my trauma to be left alone
obligatory I do not think [redacted] was doing all that intentionally. he wasn't self aware enough to do so, for one thing. and I think it did genuinely come from a place of wanting to help. but he didn't know how to read his own gut and he had some really warped ideas of what "help" looks like
Hell most of the bizarre sexual things that have been alleged about me can be countered with either "wtf, you think that's erotic?" or "that's creepy and untrue".
Most of the rest of the things alleged, sexual or not, can be countered with "give me an example" bc so much of it hinges on this idea that I have a long history of relationships that went the way things went between me and [redacted], which, spoiler alert, no
And what remains can be countered with screenshots of misconduct by the accuser :/
Why did I waste so much time and energy arguing with the allegation that I was sexually aroused during flashbacks to my CSA trauma? It literally doesn't matter if I was or not because my ability to consent was still compromised. It's extremely creepy to suggest otherwise or that it was secretly a kink thing.
I'm scratching my head trying to figure out who and why someone would send these people their whole ass IP addresses in my name. I knew I had an impersonator bc both Homophyte and [redacted] have previously received weird messages from people pretending to be me. Does this person think they're helping me? Are they trying to fan the flames for some sick and twisted entertainment?
Apparently that was one of two Big Scaries alongside me knowing [redacted]'s email address. He? Literally used to send me Google docs on that email? Except I've also heard rumors that I apparently supposedly emailed other people and I don't know wtf they're talking about. so maybe IP address guy did that too
I wish you people wouldn't refuse to show me your "evidence". Not that I'm very confident about it after seeing that doctored screenshot about doxxing people.
Fuck whoever started this idea that he was my "favorite person" fuck you for using that to dismiss my side of the story fuck you for weaponizing bigotry against a personality disorder I don't even have against me fuck you for going around telling my friends I had some scary personality disease that would make me "do it to them too" fuck you fuck you fuck you!!!
ik I was afraid of abandonment but he isolated me from my friends and family branding them all as freaks who were making me worse and I didn't have anywhere to go and he made me afraid id become a monster without him and the intrusive thoughts about rape and incest and pedophilia just confirmed it bc it meant I must be obsessed with those things and therefore a freak just like he said I don't know how I let it get that bad why did i let it get that bad