when he sees me | robert robertson x fem!reader songfic
"shhh! close the door! close the door!" you panicked as you watched him get out of his cubicle.
"okay! okay!" monica replied, scrambling to shut it.
nicole rolled her eyes. "this is stupid. you-" she said, pointing an accusing finger in your direction. "-are stupid."
you backed up. "i am not stupid!" she looked at you with a raised eyebrow. "just...realistic."
you stuck with real things. like facts or figures. that's why you worked in the records room at sdn. it was your responsibility to keep all the files in order, which luckily, was your favorite thing in the world to do. it was a lot of work; it was only you three in there most of the time, but you loved it. away from every judging stare, every guessing game, and every stupid hero who tries to mess up your perfectly ordered emergency pens (organized by size in color all in a 3 by 5 array, of course).
"and i can't believe you're going along with this, monica," nicole sighed, rubbing her hand on her rounded stomach.
"what? i think she's being an idiot, too!" she defended. "i just think it's fun to feed into her delusions. plus it's like being at the dispatcher zoo! just watching everybody..."
you scoffed. "i'm not delusional either! i'm just playing it safe because he probably doesn't like me. i don't want him to know anything before i know his feelings."
your coworkers exchanged glances. "girl, of course robert likes you!" said nicole. "he didn't ask you out for nothing."
you sighed. okay, maybe you were being delusional. but it's better than just being tossed around by fate. you were destined to have a horrible love life, being born into your family. your grandmother got pregnant as a teen (and your grandpa turned out to be a villain). your mom had you and your twin from a one night stand. your sister just escaped from her horrible husband.
no wonder you stayed away from dating. you've never even had a real boyfriend. you used to say that steven morris from middle school was your first, until you woke up in a cold sweat ten years later realizing he asked you out on a dare.
but robert was a different story. you've seen plenty of dispatchers in his spot, but nobody stayed long as him. you would never think that someone with big beautiful brown eyes like those would even point them in your direction. and you would never think that his unassumingly muscular arm would wrap around your shoulder as he walked you home from work after you stayed late. and you would never think that you would hear his amazingly deep voice ask you to go to dinner after, despite not saying anything the whole time. except for you replying,"okthatsoundsgoodseeyoumondaybecauseit'sfridaynowandwegetweekendsoffbutyouknewthatbye," not being sure if it counted as a real sentence or just one word.
so obviously something was wrong with him.
why would he ask you out on an unexpected date?
"because he likes you, girl!" said monica. oh, were you speaking out loud?
"but it makes no sense!" you replied. "maybe he feels bad for me." he was the pep talk guy. maybe your sister called sdn and dispatched him to help your anxiety. damn, you knew you shouldn't have given her that employee discount.
or what if...? "what if he lost a bet? probably with one of those z-teamers." just because the last time it happened was middle school doesn't mean it can't happen now. "or may- maybe they'll even be there!" you jumped up. "yeah! what if they're there to make fun of me? or ask me questions about myself or sit too close or call the waiter by his first name or-"
"or..." nicole dragged out. "he thinks you're pretty and wants to get to know you."
"or ask you to be his girlfriend?" monica teased.
your eyes widened. no, that can't- that can never be. you didn't want to tell your friends the real reason you were so nervous about him. what if when he sees you...
he's only disappointed? you were weird. that's what everyone said about you in school. that's why you got your head kicked in at recess and why people would come to your choir concerts just to make fun of you and why your sister was the pretty one and you were the exception.
what if you gave yourself away to robert to only get it given back? you couldn't live with that.
"i'd rather watch from the distance, thanks. that way i get the best view." you start for the door when monica stands in your way.
"don't you think you're being a tad bit-"
"I'M NOT DEFENSIVE!" you yelled back, startling the both of them. you clear your throat. "i'm simply being cautious."
what were you supposed to do? risk reckless dating? even if the date did work out, who knows how your life with robert could turn out. (horrible, probably. if that wasn't clear.)
"i've seen enough hallmark movies to know that he would probably abandon me and go back to his hometown and fall in love with his childhood best friend. i don't want to end up a miserable wife!" you looked behind you. "sorry, nicole."
nicole squinted at you. "right." another reason not to go on this date. nicole's husband is terrible! and ugly. who gets a woman pregnant to stop them from getting a divorce? while being ugly!
monica put her arms around nicole's and your shoulders, pulling you guys in close. "well that won't happen to you. robert seems like a really nice guy. and he's really cute. not ugly. like some men." she says while patting nicole's stomach.
nicole jumps back. "excuse me!"
"come on, we all know we're hoping she comes out looking like her mom!" monica laughed.
"oh my god." nicole ran her hands down her face. "you are unbelievable." she replied, letting a small smile out when she sees you giggling. "both of you are."
"great. back to me?" your face straightened up. "i'm sorry i just want to be aware of any ulterior motives." nobody right in the head would ask you out.
oh, lord. that was it.
"he could be a criminal!" you jumped up, startling the both of them. "that's why he's in charge of the z-team, isn't it!"
"come on-"
"no! oh my god, i got it! he's a psychopath." your coworkers looked at you like you were. "yeah. yeah! and he escaped from an institution or something where they don't have girls and he masterminded his way here so he could get those ex-criminals to target me!" yup, it was official. you were a genius.
"you have completely lost it." said monica.
ha! hahahahahaha! "nope! i'm right. now if you excuse me i'm going to get pop-tarts from the break room and then ghost robert tonight. see ya!" you swing the door open and walk into a muscular blue wall. weird. had that always been there?
"hey," robert said, smiling and looking down at you. fuck.
"i just came to get a reprint of my files. waterboy was cleaning and you know..."
"yeah, we all know," nicole said, failing to hide her gigantic grin. "i'll get those for you."
"hold on, hold on," monica said, making a big show. "robert, you're really gonna make a super pregnant woman do all that work for you?" god, nicole was only four months! you've never hated someone as much as you hated monica in this moment. she wraps her arms around your shoulders, almost bringing you down. "our friend here will help you."
mental note: shoot monica dead.
robert smiles at you, his lovely eyes looking into yours. "great. i know you have the magic touch."
fuckfuckfuck. "right, i'll- um, grab them now."
monica and nicole stood in the corner watching you two, like the world's nosiest hawks.
"are we still on for tonight?" robert asks, brushing your shoulder as you scan the z-team files.
"what?"
"dinner." oh, right. dinner with the man you couldn't say a word to. "if you're not up to it, that's fine. i'll take beef, i think he passes as a guest." you smiled.
dinner with the man who makes you laugh and come out of hiding. what do you do with that?
you couldn't stop imagining the possibilities. there were an infinite amount of outcomes for this "date". who knows what could happen?
"of course she's coming," monica answered for you. "we were just talking about what she's gonna wear! right?" she looks at you and nicole.
nicole nodded. "duh. we're all so very excited."
mental note: lock nicole in the records room for the rest of her life.
robert runs a hand through his hair. "perfect, i'll see you then." he grabs the files from you, brushing his fingers against yours. as he squeezes past the girls to leave, he takes one last look at you before making his way back to the cubicle.
oh, god. you like him and he definitely knows it.
you were completely and utterly in love with your coworker and he likes you too. he just opened up a door in your mind that you can't close.
you were ready. ready for this date. ready for whatever the universe and love demons decided to throw at you tonight. your heart was set in motion. but you knew you were still terrified.
you live your whole life being prepared for everything, but you're not prepared for this; you're scared. scared of breaking open and giving your love to him.
but you can't help from hoping, that tonight, when he sees you...
he wants to again?
you laid in your bed, cuddled against robert's chest, giggling as he pressed kisses to your neck.
"i can't believe you used to think i didn't like you." robert murmured into you.
you traced shapes onto his skin. "sorry, i like being prepared." you said, sarcastically.
"yeah, i can tell." he pulled back, then leaned into you once more, placing a soft kiss on your lips.
"seriously! infinite amount of outcomes, remember?" you smiled, kissing him back.
"yeah, and i got the one where i get the pretty girl in the end." he stared at you, studying your face.
your voice shook a bit as you looked into his lovely eyes. "i love you."
"i love you, too." he pulled you in for another kiss.
"you sure you really like me?"
he laughed. "trust me, baby. you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me."