Away from These Shores, chapter 8/?
I went ahead and explored the way taking care of Sam in his vulnerable state affects Dean, Ellen and Bobby here. Next chapter will feature a lot more of Sam and his POV, but I don’t know, this just... happened.
Summary: Gen, h/c. A simple hunt leaves Sam in an altered state no one seems able to explain – at first. Pulling him out of it is not nearly as easy as it should be, especially since Dean is dealing with his own trauma.
Takes place after 8.01, in an AU (sort of. Mildly) where Bobby and Ellen are alive, but Cas didn’t make it out of Swan Song. This is not really Season-8-related though, it’s pretty standalone.
Warnings: Language, past violence, some grieving; possible triggers if you, like me, are dissociative. Also, some self-injury is mentioned, and although it’s in no way a dominant theme, it will be referred to again here and there.
Excerpt from chapter 8:
She finds herself absurdly grateful when Sam slides back into blank apathy, because at least then she can tell herself he isn’t feeling anything as she walks him around the living room or in the yard like an ailing horse, gets him to sit out on the porch swing with her. As she presses a glass of cold water into his hand and wraps his lax fingers around it again and again, drink that, honey, come on. Talks to him without getting a response.
It’s rare that she and Sam are out here for long; he seems to get overwhelmed within minutes, even when it’s his idea, even when he’s doing fine. There’s something about being out here that gets to him. She can usually tell when he’s had too much; hard to miss the way he starts stalling, all his systems slowing down, the way his eyes go hazy and his pupils dilate. If they stay outside long enough for his speech to start slurring, it can take all day to bring him back.
She studies his face again, looking for signs she hopes she won't find yet. “You feel like going back inside?”
Sam doesn’t answer her, looking out and away at the road that leads to the yard.
“Sam,” she says, “Sam. Hey. You with me?”
