#dissointersex

[ask-a-radqueer]

Things the Transid Community Needs to Understand About Intersex!

A little PSA by a transid cisintersex person about how intersex people are talked about in the community and how we can make it better for cisintersex and transintersex people alike!

Intersex refers to people born with sex characteristics that don't fit the typical 'male' or 'female' sexes, also called wolffian and mullerian

Transintersex refers to those who feel they should be intersex, identify as intersex whilst not having intersex traits, or otherwise identify as intersex in a transid way

If you are transintersex, this means that you feel as if you should have an intersex variation (or several) and/or identify as having one in a trans way

Transintersex is not the word to use if you feel as if you should:

Be bigenital and having both fully-functioning, perinormative, genitalia. This is a fictionalised concept, not an intersex variation! Ambiguous genitalia exists and people can have both sets, but it does not present in the perinormative way you see in NSFW fiction - Alternatives: transbigenital, salmacian

Have any other fictional sex traits or sex trait combinations. This includes the fictional sex characteristics you see in omegaverse and similar NSFW content - these are not intersex variations - Alternatives: transids specific to these fictional sex traits

Have things like an androgynous facial structure, a beard whilst AFAB, and other independent traits that aren't inherently caused by being intersex. This doesn't apply if you feel like you should have an intersex variation on top of these things - Alternatives: transids specific to these traits

I recommend really looking into what makes you feel connected to the intersex identity / experience and see if you're maybe reducing intersex down to a certain trait, or if you actually feel as if you should have an intersex variation

It is still insensitive to say "I'm jealous of (cis)intersex people" even if you are transintersex. We are not a monolith - all of us have different experiences and intersex variations, and many of us have had our bodily autonomy stripped away, gone years not knowing who we truly are, faced deep oppression and dis/misinformation, and so on

Addon for para communities especially: Bigenital fictional characteres are not intersex! NSFW content featuring bigenital characters is not intersex NSFW content! Do not tag it as intersex! Also, the Japanese word for these characters is an intersexist slur just like the H slur! End of post yay

[ask-a-radqueer]

"the intersex community doesn't like them being considered intersex" yeah that has been very obvious and plastered everywhere. I have both sets, why am I just a porn trope to my own goddamn community? I have tried to tell people before that we exist and right to my face I am told that apparently this is false. This erasure needs to stop immediately, as a whole we are already erased enough, why are we doing the "I'm not like THOSE freaks" shit within the intersex community.

I’ve already addressed people talking about this here (link) but thought I'd just own being a broken record on this

I don't like how the quote has been taken from context so here it is in full in case you don't want to read all of the post (I get it it's a lot of words haha):

"I made points about how desiring both perinormative fully-functional sets of genitals and other fictional concepts would not be considered transintersex because, largely, they’re not considered intersex and the intersex community doesn’t like them being considered intersex."

This is because they are fictional concepts, my original post already outlines this in a clear way in my opinion:

“…bigenital and having both fully-functioning, perinormative, genitalia. This is a fictionalised concept, not an intersex variation! Ambiguous genitalia exists and people can have both sets, but it does not present in the perinormative way you see in NSFW fiction”

I literally cannot make this statement clearer I don't think

Bigenital is largely not preferred or claimed by those of us with ambiguous/mixed genitalia, both ovarian and testicular tissue, etc because it's so heavily tied to this perinormative trope in NSFW fiction and implies full function. If you like that word for yourself, that's a first for me! But that's also why I specified “bigenital and having both fully-functioning, perinormative genitalia”, of which isn’t known to be possible.

You can have ambitious genitalia. I literally do. You can have both forms of tissue (ovotesticular ‘syndrome’). But having both fully-functioning, perinormative (looking and functioning exactly as typical perisex/non-intersex genitalia does) genital sets, is fictional and mainly present for fetishisation purposes in NSFW media.

I’m not sure why some people think this is a controversial thing to say

[ask-a-radqueer]

I usually consider myself anti-radqueer (mostly because of my strict anti-contact harmful paraphilia stance, and my dislike of how the term paraphilia has been warped by the radqueer community) but I guess I would more fit the definition of radqueer critical? Basically I like the basic definition of radqueer but some of the common beliefs in the community I strongly disagree with. All that is to say I hope I'm not unwelcome in asking for advice/help.

I need help, I'm struggling with a lot of guilt right now to the point it's severely affecting my mental health. I think I might be transintersex. I've heard that identifying in that way is intersexist, I don't want to harm intersex people. I experience dysphoria around not being intersex, and I've researched intersex variations almost obsessively because I believe so deep down that I was meant to be intersex. Is identifying as transintersex harmful? What should I do? If it is harmful to intersex people how do I stop feeling this way? I can't remember a moment in my life since I've known the term intersex that I haven't felt like I am intersex. How do I not harm real intersex people?

You're more than welcome!

It'll all be down to individual people's opinions, but I don't think an identity like this can be inherently discriminatory towards anyone

There is nothing about experiencing sex dysphoria around not being a form of intersex or not having a certain sex difference that is inherently prejudice or hateful towards me at all

I've seen people misusing the term intersex when they identify as transintersex, that can be informed by intersexist ideas and misinformation, but it doesn't mean that the identity is intersexist. It's all about being properly informed and using it with understanding of what being intersex is and why you feel as you do

I've actually done a whole post on transintersex (link) and a follow-up of some clarifications (link) which covers some problems I've seen with people misusing transintersex and/or intersex, and how the transid community can be better in this area

You shouldn't have to try and find a way to force what's more than likely a permanent feeling to 'stop' just because there are people who don't understand. It sucks that it's like that right now

If you'd even prefer a non-transid alternative, there might be some out there that may be more socially accepted in some MOGAI spaces (maybe Dissointersex exists?), but ultimately, those who truly want to understand shouldn't mind your preferred word

There is no crime or shame in having this experience :)

[ask-a-radqueer]

Q: Is it wrong for transid people to express jealousy towards cisid people?

My replies are broken, might be shadowbanned? So I'm using this to respond to @rqcalt's comment! Made the title a bit more broad since my response applies to everything basically

I think saying you're jealous of any community when faced with its members should be done with extreme caution because, ultimately, you don't know what someone is going through and communities of people aren't a monolith - there is no singular experience to be jealous of.

If you're still wanting to express this kind of thing "I'm jealous of intersex people" and "I'm jealous of cis women" aren't the best ways to go about it and it's very likely someone will feel like they're being perceived as having privileges or advantages that they don't have. After all, jealousy is usually "feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages" and it'll be people's instinctive response to just being told that out of the blue.

Jealousy is characterised by resentment and in excess it can become a really unhealthy emotion.

If you're wanting to express that you wish something was the case for you, I just don't think jealous is the word to use. "I feel like I should've been born a woman" or "I feel like I should've had PAIS (my intersex variation)" is the best option in my personal experience. I still think we need to be aware of who we're saying these things to and the context of the conversation, though.

For example, intersex people especially have been told for so long that people are jealous of us because they think being intersex is being 'naturally non-binary' and a way to pass as non-binary and so on, which is not true and paints us as a monolith. Telling an intersex person you're jealous of them with no further context will come across as equally insensitive.

I also want to add that, in the transid community especially, it's not uncommon to see people who aren't also transexperience towards the discrimination and hardships that come with being cis- their transids, so the person feeling like they should've undergone medical abuse isn't unlikely - I just think jealousy is the wrong word to use if you want to communicate your experience with little offence and misunderstandings.