I've been seeing more and more people claim that being "transintersex" (a perisex person transitioning to be intersex) is okay and that anyone who argues against it is just using transphobic talking points and I have some things to say about that.
I think that the people saying this stuff really just don't understand what intersex actually is. I've said this before, but I'll say it again: While some intersex people use the label intersex for their gender and sex, intersex is not a third sex nor is it about gender. It's not a comparable category to male, female, or man or woman.
Intersex describes someone with sex characteristics that naturally did not develop in a way that society deems "normal". This can be anything from hormone variations to chromosome variations to genital variations. Each variation is different and every single intersex body looks different. There is no standard for what an intersex body looks like and for some people their variations are completely invisible. However, despite the fact that each intersex person has a different body and different experiences with how their body looks and functions, we usually have a lot in common when it comes to the way we're treated by society.
The majority of intersex people, regardless of variation, will be told that the natural state of their body is disordered, unnatural, and it needs to be fixed. While obviously a trans person can experience a similar situation of their body being treated as unnatural if they've undergone a physical transition, it's not the same. A trans person's willful and intentional changes to their body are looked down upon by society but not in the same way. Trans people are seen as distorting and mutilating their own bodies while doctors intentionally distort and mutilate OUR bodies without our informed consent to "fix our disorders".
Neither is better or worse, imo, but they're completely different situations with different forms of oppression that go along with them. Intersexism isn't just a hatred for bodies that break the gender binary, it's also the constant and socially accepted pathologization of natural variety in the way our bodies develop sexually. Which just doesn't happen for changes that are intentionally brought on. You're not going to be diagnosed with a "disorder of sexual development" by intentionally making changes to your body.
When you treat intersex as a category that you can willfully transition into, it completely undermines and robs actually intersex people of the language we need to describe our unique experiences. It also reduces intersex characteristics down to bodily appearance and stereotypes, contributes to our misrepresentation and fetishization by implying intersex bodies are an "ideal" or that they all look the same, and completely and totally disrespects every single intersex person that has gone through some form of medical mutilation by also implying intersex can be transitioned out of. Because that's also the implication you're making when you say that you can transition to be intersex. If you say that you can change your body to be intersex, you're also implying that you can change your body to be perisex.
You're essentially saying that the people who robbed us of our bodily autonomy and mutilated us to make us fit the gender binary were successful in their attempt to eliminate intersex variations from society. I should not have to explain why that's a bad thing.
Intersex doesn't describe what sex characteristics you have, it doesn't describe what your gender is, it isn't a third sex, and there is no standard to how an intersex body looks. It exclusively describes someone who's natural sex characteristics are outside the societal norm. Intersex moreso describes the presence of natural variation rather than the actual characteristics themselves. Meaning it's not actually the physical characteristics themselves that make someone intersex, it describes the variety that can be present naturally in humans.
If you want a body that doesn't fit the gender binary and you're looking into transition options to achieve that state then that's completely fine. You're allowed to want your body to look however you want it to. You're allowed to pursue a transition path that doesn't land you strictly in the categories of "masculine" or "feminine". Whatever you need to look like to alleviate gender dysphoria, or induce gender euphoria, or even just feel right in your body, you're allowed and encouraged to do it. But please don't rob intersex people of the only language we have to describe our experiences. Please don't imply that the people who hurt and violated us were successful in their attempts to eradicate us. Please respect and listen to the actually intersex people who are telling you that you're hurting us and contributing to our constant misrepresentation and fetishization by saying that you can transition into being intersex.
Just use a different word. That's all we're asking. Come up with a unique and beautiful word to describe your own completely unique and beautiful experiences.
*"So you hate waffles" disclaimer: Obviously this doesn't touch on every experience and the words I'm using are just the best ones I have. There's exceptions and grey areas to everything but I'm specifically speaking against the practice of telling people they can willingly and intentionally make themselves intersex. I'm trying to describe how that specifically hurts the intersex community from the perspective of an intersex person. Nothing more, nothing less.
