#dissolvedshadows | caleb

[anarcalina]

         // @dissolvedshadows​ sent,  ❝  i don’t think gods work that way.  ❞

          ❛ Mmmm. ❜    For a long moment, Daniel’s half tempted to leave it at that, a half-acknowledgment, half-dismissal, an unreadable something that spares him the need to take any stance on the issue. His attention can remain upon documents before him, and for a fleeting moment, he can pretend that things are simpler, his work no more than theoretical. Yet he can’t resist ( he never can ), and finds himself continuing, almost without conscious thought,    ❛ Unfortunately, it doesn’t exactly matter how we think gods work, does it? I think the past years have proved as much. ❜

          Finally, his gaze flickers up. a shrug upon his shoulders. The end of the pencil in his hand taps twice upon the paper before him, unnoticed.    ❛ What matters is what they think. And just how quickly this plan is going to go wrong. Not that anyone’s asking me. ❜

[anarcalina]

          // @dissolvedshadows​​  ( caleb)  sent,  ❝ i’ll  do  anything  for  you ,   just  tell  me  what  you  need. ❞

          A smile, however tremulous, emerges upon her lips, though her sightless eyes remain downcast, as if seeking to avoid eye-contact she cannot truly make.    ❛ Anything? ❜    Aline asks, a faint stab at humor that scarcely achieves its goal ( if it even does at all ).    ❛ Didn’t anyone ever warn you to be careful what promises you make? ❜    As if she would ever ask for anything, anything save the rarest request for company or participation in her latest foolhardy plan.

          And the hardest thing is that, even if she could impose, could accept such an offer, there’s nothing that would help. Aline’s not even sure that turning back the clock, that resetting it all and living a world in which the events never happened, could fully erase the ache she feels sometimes. She hates this day the most, the day that must weigh heaviest on her each year. Yet she knows, come tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, it will ease, as it always does. She reaches out in his direction, seeking his arm, his hand, to squeeze. More quietly, she adds,    ❛ But I do appreciate it, Caleb. Truly. Thank you. ❜

[anarcalina]

          // @dissolvedshadows​​  ( caleb )  sent,  ❝ i  have  ideas !   most  of  them  are  illegal. ❞

          ❛ Yes... ❜    he repeats slowly, hesitantly, as if deciding whether to think better of his following words. In the end, he does, leaving aside the snark-filled rhetorical question he wishes to pose aside and remarking instead,    ❛ That’s rather the problem. ❜    Not that the lines of legality don’t blur when you’re a member of a top-secret government program traveling to other worlds. Daniel sometimes thinks they operate too far outside the law as it is, however, and he’s loathe to encourage such behavior.    ❛ Let’s stick to ideas that aren’t illegal. I don’t suppose you have any of those. ❜

          He does not sound particularly hopeful.

[anarcalina]

      // @dissolvedshadows​​ sent,  ❝ for  the  record ,  i  don’t  want  you  out  of  my  hair . ❞

         ❛ It’s a good thing I don’t like challenges. Because there’s lots of people who’d take that as a challenge. ❜    All joking aside, she’s far enough from the truth. Tell her she can’t do something, and Aline’s more than likely to set out to accomplish the ‘impossible’ merely to prove it isn’t. Yet, there’s truth in this: she won’t take a challenge to make more of a burden, more of an annoyance, of herself. She’s never certain how they landed here, how he got saddled with her and her friendship.

          ❛ You’d better not change your mind, though, because you’ll have a hard time getting rid of me. At least without losing this guy too. I’d have to take him with me. ❜    Her fingers curl into the fur of the dog responsible for her current position upon the floor, all the better to reach. 

[anarcalina]

         // @dissolvedshadows​ sent,  “ i actually envy the size of your heart. ”

          ❛ This is the part where I’m supposed to make some overly dramatic comment about how it’s as much a curse as a blessing, right? That’s how the narrative usually goes? ❜    She jokes as if to deter further thought on the matter, for she treads uncertain waters. It’s strange, to think of her heart as in some way different than others, as though her capacity to love is any different than the rest of the several billion humans occupying the planet. It’s nothing special; she’s nothing special. 

          Aline wants to tell him he doesn’t understand, that it’s not like that. She can’t find the words to do so in a way that doesn’t come across as harsh, as dismissive, not when he means the words kindly. Yet it’s a choice, her capacity to love, a conscious decision day in and day out to see the good, to forgive the bad, to let go of the cynicism and the self-centeredness and the always-moving nature of humanity.

          She offers him only a wry smile to offset her joke.    ❛ But I won’t. Though I’m not sure that’s something to say thank you for, either. ❜

[anarcalina]

         // @dissolvedshadows​ sent,  “ you haven’t stabbed me yet. ”

         ❛ I’m not sure whether I should be more concerned that that’s the standard you use or that you think I’m likely to stab you at some point. ❜    Of course, Cam will make no promises; he’s learned to be a never say never sort of guy. But stabbing’s not really his modus operandi, and frankly he’s any not too keen on putting to test his ability to pull it off where Caleb’s concerned, at least without injury to himself. He can recognize his own tendency for overstepping the line of his own abilities with misconceived confidence, even if in the heat of a moment he acts on it without heed to that awareness.    ❛ Should I be stabbing you? Is there something I don’t know about? ❜

[anarcalina]

         // @dissolvedshadows​​ sent,  “ what is she to you anyway ? ” 

          He stills, body rigid, poised for an action he has not yet resolved upon. How easy it would be, as he would with most, to lash out. A neck snapped, a heart torn from between ribs, a thousand and one ways to kill swiftly and in doing so avoid so much hassle. His expression contorts, safely concealed from Caleb’s view, as he wrestles with his temper and reminds himself that he dare not. Not for fear of retribution, for fear of starting a war, for fear that killing one such as he may not actually be so easy — Klaus has yet to put it to the test. Yet for reasons yet obscured to him, Caleb matters to her. Lips curl in distaste at the thought. 

          When he turns to face Caleb, Klaus has his temper mastered, expression smooth and unconcerned, lip half-quirked in the merest hint of amusement.    ❛ Nothing. Absolutely nothing. ❜    How easily, how calmly, lies fall from his lips. If anything, he relishes the words, the security they offer.    ❛ Well, save an ally. One whose company aggravates me less than yours — not that that’s saying much. ❜    Perhaps ally is the wrong word, too formal for what is scarcely more than an understanding, save that that understanding helps preserve the balance, the peace, in the city. Yet in the moment he can find no other.

          ❛ But tell me, Caleb, ❜   — he speaks the name with a sneer, disdain weighty upon his tongue —    ❛ what concern is it of yours? ❜

[anarcalina]

         // @dissolvedshadows​​ sent        ❛   tender .   kiss  my  muse  on  the  forehead.

          She calls it drifting, but only to herself. She has no need to name it to another, to explain the way in which her tethers to reality fray, slipping through her fingers and leaving her adrift in a sea of thoughts. She thinks, sometimes, that she might drown in it one day.

          If he knocks, she misses it, misses too the inexorable creak of the door, normally so infuriating for all she refuses to fix it. It’s the gentle press of lips to her forehead that finally alerts her to his presence, dragging her out of the morass of her contemplation and back into the physical world. She does not startle: she knows it’s him — would know, she thinks, even if logic could not rule out other possibilities by process of elimination.  

          ❛ Hey, ❜    she offers by way of a greeting, words accompanied by a soft smile. Then adds, as though it were not wholly an observation rendered redundant by mere obviousness.    ❛ You’re here. ❜