The Suicidal Youth's Lamentation [@pravispersonam]
The next day, Shintaro woke up to the sound of birds chirping. Sitting up on the bed, rubbing off the dried tears on his eyes, he looked over the door. 'I guess she gave up.'
Stepping out of the bed and up to start his everyday routine, he sat on his chair and booted up the PC. "Power on..."
Shintaro placed his headphones on his bedhead. He logged into his account and was greeted by that annoying blue thing first thing in the morning.
"Good morning, Master!", she said. "You know, you should've listened to your sister! She was really worried about-"
"Shut up, disappear. You're an eyesore.", he interrupted in a cold voice.
"Eh-?", she squeaked.
Shintaro dragged his cursor over Ene and stored her inside a password-protected folder labeled "Dirt", giving up on trying to delete the blue virus. He figured a folder would be useless, but at least it would keep it quiet for a few hours.
He muttered, "Serves you right..."
Opening a browser window, he was struck by a strange whim to open his e-mail. Unusual indeed. He never wanted to have anything to do with people ever since that, but Shintaro felt like he needed to this time. Something -or someone?- compelled him to just open it.
Cursing under his breath, he opened his e-mail anyway.
His inbox was full of messages from Momo. Clicking a random one, he read it silently, still in bewilderment.
............
By this time, Shintaro had read all of Momo's messages. He was unsure of how he felt though. He remained still, hands clenched tight on the desk.
Shortly, there was a change in his expression. Though he remained emotionless, tears came billowing down his face. In that moment, familiar guilt and regret overcame his heart.
Shintaro covered his face with both of his hands in an attempt to stop the tears that couldn't be held back.
Momo was there to try to help him. But no, he just pushed her away, he had realised, just like what he did to her.
'This again...'
He screamed at the top of his lungs.
'The pain is unbearable. Unbearable, unbearable. I hate it, I hate it, I hate! Stop it! It's always my fault, my fault...!!!"
Stressed, he crouched on the floor, sobbing.
'Why is it always my fault?'
'Ayano died, and it was my fault. Now, Momo, she...I pushed her way. I don't deserve her kindness...I don't want to lose another person. I just...'
"Kill me."
'I am a no-good human being...I deserve to die...'
Crawling, he went near his cabinet and got a pair of scissors.
"Haha...Aha...Haha...Ahahahaha...I'm worthless, I might as well disappear."
He prepared to slit his wrist, until someone destroyed the door.
Several knocks were heard from the other side of the door. However, the isolated teen paid no attention to it and continued browsing the internet.
"No, I'm not going out, Momo. Just give it up..." He said. The room was silent, so he was certain he could be heard. The knocking stopped for a while, only to return again. Shintaro did his best to ignore his sibling, knowing she'll just quit later, like usual. However, this one seemed quite different than the rest. "Momo. Please. Leave me alone. Why are you doing this?"
"There is no God." The normal Alice not the kontet one
Religion. Beliefs. Complicated human things. It was never had been a topic of conversation on the World(s) so he was taken aback when this Alice gave that statement. God, a divine being that was said to be the creator of the universe and everything that lived on them, even demons like him. It wasn’t like he didn’t believe in the presence of God nor believe that there was indeed someone, something, that could be called as God. He never saw them. Then again, God didn’t have any business with demons.
One thing for sure, there was no God here. No God, no angels, there was nothing good in the World(s). Oh, he had seen some of the Alice(s) cried for help, ask the God (or whatever it was called by their beliefs) to help them. Nobody, nothing, had came down here to help those Alice. The God was probably deaf or might be blind or maybe, the God was the same like the demons. He didn’t care about the humans yet some of the humans still worshiped Him. In that way, the White Rabbit was envious of Him. Actually, if he thought about it now…
"And why do you say that, Alice?" he finally asked. "Have you forgotten about the true meaning of what God is? There is(are) God(s), Alice, but they might not be like how you imagine them to be." A cryptic smile appeared on the demon’s face.
comment: Need to give you my comment? Dear twinny, you are just a precious piece of shi—- my heart. G U R L know you’re a great person. Whether on your way to work with you blog and also for the way you interact with other people. I don’t have much to say about you, because I have repeated this for an infinite number of times. You are precious and quality. A great person that I can call twinny. A person on whom I can trust, on which I can say every secrets. A beautiful friend that I can trust more than myself. For these reasons, I consider you a fundamental part of myself and of my life.
"Oh nothing really~” More. “…..” More in depth. That it would hurt him. But seriously what mattered. He had lost his sanity. Although he was still a human being was gone insane. See the blood of his friends. See his friends die without being able to do anything to help them. He had become completely insane. He smiled, only smiled at the sight of the blood of that person. Had struck him in the shoulder with a shard of glass. Without any reason. He was a person of the safe zone. That he had turned his back to people like Nick. He was now suffering there and he was trying to escape. “Tell me it hurts~?.” He said, laughing and pushing deeper and deeper into the shoulder of that boy his piece of glass. He was happy.
Send me a " ♬ " and I will put my ipod on shuffle. The song that plays will be our song.
Lucky Strike | Maroon 5.
You’re such a motivator, I gotta get you where.So sick of saying yes sir, yes sir.You’re such an instigator, you wanna play the game?Take it or leave it, that’s her, that’s her.And I can’t wait another minute.I can’t take the look she’s giving,Your body rocking, keep me up all night.One in a million.My lucky strike.
