(doing the Callie death meme as Hazel Melody)
A week after it happened, Hazel Melody began to hate the curly hair her mama had said came from her, and decided to cut it all off with her school scissors. Afterwards, when Hazel Melody looked back at herself in the mirror she looked less like her mother and more like.... She wasn't sure exactly. She kept it short for many years, enduring the teasing from her classmates. She would rather look like nothing then have to be haunted by her mother every times she saw herself.
Hazel Melody began to have problems in school after it happened. She finally forced herself to learn how to read though, and picked up her prize of Peter Pan. She stopped reading it after the part about how a mother cleans out her children's mind every night, and puts all the bad and sad thoughts folded up neatly in the back of their mind. She didn't have a mother to do this for her, and maybe that's why she had so many sad and angry thoughts.
She was angry at her mother for dying. How could she die and just abandon Hazel Melody? She was furious at herself for being angry with her mom. But mostly she was sad. She was sad that she didn't have a mom to show her drawings to, and sad that one day she would have a daughter who would ask (like she had done once) what happened to her grandmother and Hazel Melody would have to explain about angels and heaven. She was especially sad that, no matter how hard she wished, her mom didn't visit her in her dreams the way she said angels could.
The week leading up to Mother's Day was the worst, even long after Hazel Melody had hidden away the anger. Her classmates ran around in an excited blur, trying to make cards and plan breakfasts in bed. Hazel Melody did none of this for many years, until one Mother's Day she decided to write a letter and leave it on her Mama's grave. She hadn't left anything there in a long time.
Mama, the letter began, I don't know what to say to you. I miss you. The other people in my school are trying to figure out what to do for Mother's Day. It's in about a week.... I think, if you were still here, we would watch Disney movies all day, and I would give you daffodils instead of carnations because daffodils were your always favorite.
When I was little, I always used to wonder why you loved them so much because I could never see anything special about them. I never asked you why though... Was it because daffodils are the first flower of spring? They pop up, year after year, reminding us that the warmth and light have finally come again and that yes, the sun will still thaw even the most frozen places?
Right after you died I used to wait for you to visit me in my dreams, but you never came. Back then I used to think that maybe you were busy with the other angels, or maybe you didn't know how to do that yet. Now, of course, I realize that angels aren't really real. I wish they were though, and that you could visit.
I pulled out one of your old dresses (the red one, with the white dots) a few weeks ago to see if it still smelled like you. It doesn't. I tried it on though, and I fit in it perfectly. I look like you did when I dress like that, except with shorter hair.
I love you. I miss you.
Hazel Melody
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Oh my gosh. I am crying, like literally crying. I lost it at the "angels aren't really real part". That hurt so much but you did an amazing job with writing it. Seriously, you are such a good writer, bravo to you.
