clarke in mcap as a single tear rolls down her cheek : it's ok bellamy, if u need forgiveness i'll give that to u, it's ok, i forgive u.
Clarke, after hours, beaten up by the memories she tries to hold, refuses to show them the key. Whether it is Madi, or the City of Light, she fights back with every inch of her soul, more and more tired by it. More and more drained out of life and a will to continue. And Bellamy is there to witness it all.
A final strike, and once again, they fail to access her memory. Cadogan steps forward, still numb, knowing the flame was destroyed, and he won’t get his daughter back, raises his hand and stops the disciple, who failed.
Slowly approaching the m-cap, he passes Bellamy and stops right next to almost unconscious Clarke. With a mysterious look in his eye says: “Come here, Bellamy.”
And he, as if someone woke him up, does what he’s told to do. Not right away, but he does, trying not to look at blood surrounding Clarke’s face. Trying not to think of his decision. Because it all was for the better. To end the never ending war.
Suddenly, something presses his chest. A cap. Handed by the Shepherd.
“Take this.”
He takes a cap, his hands stiff and chest pounding. It’s heavy, heavier than he thought it would be. The Shepherd gave him a goal. He needs him. He trusts him and believes his action will lead to winning the last war the mankind will ever face.
“We need that memory, and you’re the only one who can break her.”
And suddenly, his chest aches. The air is gone. But he can’t let anyone know that something moved him. There’s a goal to achieve. There’s a faith to follow. A chance to find peace.
He puts on a cap, feeling the energy flowing through it, and when his eyes land on Clarke, the task gets much harder. Her skin deadly pale, her eyes barely open, her chest hardly taking any breaths. But he can do it, she just has to let him do it. He can break her, the Shepherd said. He can break her, and let her go.
“Bellamy.”
Her voice is so weak that it almost takes him off guard. Her blue eyes land on him. Surprisingly, not filled with betrayal.
“You’re gonna have to make it a kill shot.”
Without his action, the memory appears on the screen. He sees himself, on a ladder leading to the bunker exit. Cadogan’s bunker. The Shepherd’s bunker.
He hears his own voice, saying:
“That’s the only way you’re gonna stop me.”
He turns to her, realizing what she’s saying. His chest aches again. This time, it’s bigger, stronger, more painful.
“Don’t make it harder, Clarke.”
He touches his own cap, turning on the machine. But he’s not able to proceed. He knows everyone needs him, the faith in the mankind lays in his hands.
But he just stands there, with a hand in air, and a fog covering his eyes.
Clarke, with tears of her own, gives him a firm, weak smile.
He hears another memory appearing on a screen, but he can’t force himself to look away. It’s her voice.
“If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that to you, okay?” It cuts there.
He shakes his head, knowing the rest. Clarke in front of him, the one who grabs his hand with pain, whispers:
“You’re forgiven.”
He closes his eyes, seeing their journey. But not on screen. In his own head, unable to stop it. He feels the warmth of her hand through the glove, remembering it. But he can’t. He can’t stop now.
The machine wakes up as he pulls away and starts to look for the flame in her head. He hears her screams, and he pushes them away to the back of his head. He pushes away a piece of his soul. For the key. For all-
“I can’t!”
It all stops. He drops the helmet on the ground, feeling tears on his face. His hands find the straps on the chair and in seconds he sets Clarke free. She shakes, not understanding what is happening.
Bellamy takes a piece of hair from her forehead, seeing all the blood he let them spill. Seeing how he almost killed her.
“Why would you do that, Clarke?”
Her eyes are full of confusion, and seconds after it turns into relief. Her gaze lands on him, still processing. Even more tears fall on his cheeks. That’s what is real.
She’s hugging him, out of the blue, and he falls into her arms right away. The aching in his chest seems to fade away.
“Because no matter what you believe in, I always believe in you.”