#dnd misadventures

[crows--den]

One (1) tiny divination wizard

[shiftyarchfey]

Session three with the gang

So with our newest addition of @crossingkuroyu , @aceparnasse and @mono-chan17 (plus other who do not have a tumblr) we made headway into a new adventure. -Picking up an amulet in the temple they cleaned of goblins proved to be a terrible mistake. It was cursed and sent the group rogue into a weaker state. The rest of the group slowly started to feel the effects as well. -A new (rather suspicious at first) figure appeared! The drow monk is ready to join the group, bonding with the half-orc cleric on the way back to the village. -A camping spot was found, the new prize (a goblet that transforms any liquid inside to alcohol) was tested. Oh and also a wolf attacked in the middle of the night! But the druid turned it friendly and after a meal from the rest of a hunted deer, it went on. The dragonborn ranger hides in a foxhole. -Returning to the village, the curse can not be lifted by the priests, but instead the group needs to visit a sorceress. Who is also the mother of their questgiver, the cleric Pakk. They have a very rocky relationship, but the party forces him to come along. A warhorse is brought. -The party plus Pakk make their way but are ambushed on the road by bandits. They don't seem to want to flee in the direction they came, and are obliterated by the dragonborn's breathweapon, the monk's fighting prowess and a well-placed arrow. Let's not forget the two clerics and the druid! Only reasonable that the last bandit decided to run away anyways since the way back and what awaits him there are the lesser of two evils... -But after a short rest in which some background is shared (albeit fake on the rogue's part), they are ambushed again! A lone zombie has similar features: the bandit from earlier who had run away! Quickly the party litterally nails him to the ground, but the question is: who is behind this? -They decide to continue on to the Lady Thunderwood, Pakk's mother. She welcomes the party with somewhat of a distrust, but this is quickly nullified by both the effort of the gnome rogue and the half-orc cleric who charmed their way into her heart... at least partially. What warmth she gives to her guests, she doesn't really expand to her son. The meal is filling, but half the party has questionable tablemanners. Especially the dragonborn. I'm just saying head in the soup. -A lovely dinner has been had, but the lady wants something in return for her breaking of the spell. It turns out it is her amulet that had cursed the party. She wants help in searching of her friend, Tana Kerr, an half-elven woman who disappeared into the night with no message left whatsoever. The party agrees and some more details are shared. -Dinner ends, but all of the participants needed to blow off some steam. Luckily, the lady also has an assortment of 'medicinal' herbs... The druid masterfully works it into consumable goods and the party, the lady and her son share a good smoke in the library. Unlocking another (fake) backstory of the gnome rogue, they and the dragonborn ranger decide to have a stoned eating contest. They both do not persevere, but the dragonborn won. Technically. You can't really say he won when he had the worse headache the next morning. -Sharing rooms and some comfort (since the advances of the half-orc cleric and the drow monk to seduce the lady did not seem to work out and the poor cleric Pakk was grouped together with a rather... flirty... tiefling druid), they awake to a breakfast and the fulfillment of the lady's part of the quest. The curse is lifted and the party begins to make themselves ready to depart.

[crows--den]

So Lorel can talk to her dad now. I... may have gotten carried away with bad immaterial facebook memes.

[crows--den]

My sister said she wanted to DM a campaign like... a week ago maybe? this is pass one at this character’s design.

[randomhatthief]

The day spent collecting alchemy ingredients went well. Even if they almost got eaten by a giant frog and KING almost chased Taro off a cliff for some catnip.

[whitelilyofrohan]

On the left die is the damage I rolled on the bad guy with my ice knife spell. On the right dice is the damage my party member took. 😂😂😂 Everyone laughed and the DM gave me heroic inspiration!

[my-cat-can-slay-dragons]

In todays session of D&D, we heard that the person we were looking for was a regular at the towns brothel, went there without a plan, and my character always just tries stuff when there’s been no plan. We guess he’d likely be in the VIP section, so I just walk up to the guards, somehow roll a 16 on persuasion, get let through, somehow roll a nat 20 on the second set of guards, and walk into a threesome. Between three people who were not the person we were looking for. Dude wasn’t in the building at all. The DM is my brother.

[love-and-socialism]

DnD campaign misadventures

I rescued this thread from my non-defunct twttr detailing my last campaign in DnD, because it was probably the best things I ever posted on there. So now it’s going on here.

Tonight in DnD, my character crit failed a stealth check and fell down the stairs, spilling ball bearings everywhere. #smooth

However, the adrenaline rush resulted in a series of 20s in combat. #stabby

2. Last night in DnD adventures, we smashed a frozen half-man half-bull creature that bequeathed us a key from its remains.

Me: looks like it's a musical one.

Me: it was a key in A minor-taur

@abbynormal0ne: I will KILL you

3. Tonight in DnD adventures, after killing a couple of piscine-type jailers, we found a scared human in a cell. To put them at ease, @abbynormal0ne put her hand in a skull like a puppet and went "HELLO! DON'T BE AFRAID! WE'RE NICE PEOPLE!"

Surprisingly they were not reassured.

4. Tonight in DnD adventures, we stab a rapier into this guy that makes a gurgling sound akin to the apex of the bit in a certain song by The Trashmen.

"Looks like.. blood.. is the word."

@abbynormal0ne: "Just one more time I stg."

5. Tonight in DnD, @abbynormal0ne summons a mammoth-type creature and I jump on its back while we're murdering the sahuagin sea creatures. It crit fails while trying to skewer one of them, breaking its spiky, natural weapon.

"I guess he wasn't.. up to the tusk."

6. Last night in DnD, the last sahuagin, bloodied & battered mutters "mercy". I ponder this, before firing a crossbow bolt through the back of his throat. "Looks like no mer-sea for this chap."

@abbynormal0ne, exhausted, wiping fish flesh from her face "I think he wanted mercy from your prattle."

7. After losing half of my health to a lightning strike from this dragon, I jumped on the back of the scaly bastard and shanked them.

"Now who's doing shocking behaviour."

We'll be having dragon bbq for weeks.

8. Tonight in DnD! We were in an asylum, trying to get info from a surly orderly. She was not forthcoming. And even less so when I asked "is there like a merch shop where I can get one of those natty white jumpers?"

9. Tonight in DnD! I have to disguise myself bc I've gone back to a place I'm wanted. And not in the good way. @abbynormal0ne suggests a costume. I acquire a hat of disguise.

DM: what do you look like now?

Me: This incarnation of Demis Roussos! Right down to the glitter boots!

10. The other night in DnD! @abbynormal0ne asked a shopkeep for a particular potion, seud in blue. Amazingly they had two of them. I took them and put in my footwear for safe-keeping.

"Don't step on my blue seud shoes." I warn her. She asks the shopkeep for a poison. I'm not sure if it's for me or for her.

11. Last night in DnD! We get asked by the big cheese of New Seaton if our party has a collective name...

MisinterPirates

One hour later and this is the best that we came up with jfc hahahaha

12. We decide to rescue some slaves from a sinking ship. We are attacked by a big fuck off shark that takes a decent chunk out of my torso. Ouch. "Can I just fey step back onto my boat?" I can.

"TTFN, you pointy-teethed dickhead!"

After one round of shooting at this chompy bastard. I finally find a use for my two-handed trident and full of gusto (the name of the wine) foolheartedly jump BACK into the water, stabbing the shark like a mad vaulter.

"This will surely fin-ish you off!"

It did not. Whoops.