#dndhat incorrect quotes

[iwannabealice]

holga: you look like you've never touched a woman in your life

xenk: i'm homosexual

holga: i'm sorry. you look like you've never touched a man in your life

[incorrectdndhat]

Edgin: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Holga: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Simon: I got distracted half way through.

Doric: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[toasterdrake]

Kira, Simon & Doric: *screaming*

Edgin: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Doric?!

Kira: Wait, why are you asking Doric that when Simon and I are also here?

Edgin: Because Doric wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

[iwannabealice]

simon: you know xenk would die for you, right?

edgin: xenk would die to save a dog

[iwannabealice]

simon: what color are xenk's eyes?

edgin: the most dark, so deep you could get lost in them

simon: when was the last time we saw him?

edgin: 30 minutes and 41 seconds ago

simon: and when did we first meet him?

edgin: just yesterday, but it feels like i've known him for a millennium

simon: and when is my birthday?

edgin:

simon: when is my birthday edgin?

[iwannabealice]

edgin: you're standing on thin ice

xenk: i'm standing on the floor

edgin: it's an expression

xenk: it's a carpet

[iwannabealice]

edgin: *handing a bowl of soup to xenk*

half of edgin's brain: careful, it's hot!

other half of edgin's brain: i made some soup

edgin: careful, it's soup!

xenk: ??

[iwannabealice]

doric: how was the honeymoon?

xenk: edgin got very drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire

xenk: he said, "good luck trying to return me without the receipt!"