Diary of a wimpy kid brain rot low-key hitting me rn after my brother started reading them (cuz I got nostalgia), and now wanna write a reader insert slice of life fanfic for my fanfic acc @self-ishy
Which Idea should I use? (these will either be fully platonic or have a lil romance between the reader and Rodrick, idk, pls tell me in the comments which one you'd prefer)
Pick your poison
neighbour (Y/N) who babysits Manny and Greg after school (and they cause chaos)
childhood best friends (Y/N) and Rodrick who are COMPLETE opposites
reader one day comes to the Heffley household, and boom, found family trope
Rodrick, Greg and (Y/N) play Super smash bros brawl on the Wii (oneshot)
Voting ended onMar 16, 2025
IDK, these are mostly teen reader type stories cuz I'm sure the majority of the fanfic readers are teenagers themselves who search for nostalgia (like me).
(Also, the second option, it's basically a risk to y'all cuz it could either be a nerdy reader who corrects Rodrick on everything (cuz funny), or a rock music fan reader (only cuz I remember my uncle once telling me that his best friend was into heavy metal while he was into rock music, and they ALWAYS FOUGHT about it, and lowkey wanna include that in the story) but I digress) (but just know, the reader in the second option will 100% be a goody two shoes, or just like a teen Rowley ig LOL)
→﹐ 𓏵﹒ PAIRING.﹒⟢ ⸻ rodrick heffley x gender neutral reader
→﹐ 𓏵﹒ A/N.﹒⟢ ⸻ comments & reblogs urged⠀·⠀request a bot⠀★☆
I have written all of this out just from the pure boredom that I go through on a constant, daily basis, and because I have am also very touched starved for affection and bored and want to write and I have a constant fuel for writing and for roleplaying, but I have so many google doc’s for my original characters that I have to finish and i wanna get into a friend group without getting to weird and to attached to other people. Anyways I have no brain cells to write a proper sentence nor do I have the proper brain cells to come up with some jaw dropping title that will make people go like “oh wow that’s a super cool title… wish I came up with that title” BUT NOOOOOOO I came up with drummer boy, and it’s going to stay like that for a while until I come up with something better. I’m going to make a bot for these headcanons by the way THEYRE TO GOOD RO NOT MAKE BOTS FOR. Anyways I have to go back to school tomorrow because I accidentally stepped on my glasses and the leg came off and then another day the other leg of my glasses randomly fell off so I almost missed an entire week and now I am being informed I’m going back to school tomorrow so I have to switch bags because I’m not going back to school having a juicy couture bag and a plush backpack while having the face of an abomination because I’ll just look like some weird weeb with an anime fetish and I also have to make a bunch of focuses for my apps so nobody knows my deepest darkest secret: I run a tumblr blog and post headcanons and all that stuff. I have so much on my plate right now but it’s okay. I’m sorry if any of the bots are weird with their replies, IM SORRY😭
🥁 ⸺ Rodrick, who’s like a touch starved puppy, always following his lover around as if he were afraid of losing them if he were to be separated from them.
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁 ⸺ literal definition of ‘written by a woman’ that’s been mashed up with a touch starved puppy who just wants some belly rubs along with an emo guy. He’ll follow his partner around, offering to carry their stuff and also compliment his partner because LISTENNN. he’s a very yappery type of man when it comes to complimenting his partner, and I think he’d have quite the emotional attachment to his partner
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🥁 ⸺ if his partner likes music playing at their birthday parties ( IF HIS PARTNER CELEBRATES THEIR BIRTHDAY ) then Rodrick will make subtle hints at him wanting to have his band perform at his partners birthday party, from nudging their shoulder and stuff, and if his partner doesn’t get the hint then he will practically go on his knees and beg his partner to let him play for their birthday party ( please do, he’ll make it worth it. )
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🥁 ⸺ most likely would have the mentality of a freshman attempting to appear cool to the upper grades, he’d try to steal things from stores that his significant other shops at and if he’s confronted about it by his partner he’ll be all like “whattttt?? pschhh.. no, I didn’t stea- yeah I stole.” He can’t help but tell the truth to his partner, he hates lying to them. I MADE A BOT FOR THIS HEADCANON
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁 ⸺ best. person. to gossip with!! ( if his partners into that ), he’ll probably forget about it almost immediately so don’t worry about him telling others about it, and it’s not like he has people to tell it to ( except for his band mates, who would be brushing him off and be like “he’s in love love😭” )
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁 ⸺ when he’s hanging out with his band, he’ll sometimes be like “I miss them,” “it’s been what, a few minutes without them?”
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁 ⸺ I like to think that he would read some very cheesy poetry to his lover from his lovers window, not poetry that he’s came up with be because he’s obviously to dumb for that, but he’ll read some poetry from a poetry book while some flower petals of his partners favorite flowers are scattered all over him and he’d definitely have one of his bandmates Chris or Ben hiding somewhere and spraying water on him to make it seem like it’s raining for it to be very dramatic as he’s busy trying to pronounce words that are out of his vocabulary while the pages are getting wet from the water spraying onto it, because of him looking at the book most of the time while he’s trying to read to his partner sappy love poetry, he looks like a pastor ( he didn’t memorize the poetry which was his plan, but OOPS!!!!!! he didn’t remember. ) I MADE A BOT FOR THIS HEADCANON
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁 ⸺ he burns cd’s for his partner, 100%, definitely, he’s an emo or either punk guy, NO DOUBT ( I love that band they’re super good but that’s not the point ), his first ever burned cd given to his partner had some cheesy line written on it ( “drowning in your eyes”, thanks to his mom happily helping him make it up ) along with his and his crushes initials and along with the day they would both get together, so for like example: ‘drowning in your eyes: R+V & 2/14/13’ ( my OC’s initial + the day Rodrick and her got together ), and the songs that Rodrick would burn onto the cd would be ‘I’m not okay ( I promise )’, ‘Vampires will never hurt you’ + ‘This is the best day ever’ all by My Chemical Romance, ‘last night on earth’ by Green Day, ‘the middle’ by Jimmy Eat World, along with some favorite songs of his partner that he’s taken the time to learn. HERES THE LINK TO THE PLAYLIST !! & I MADE A BOT FOR THIS HEADCANON
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁 ⸺ literally like a schoolgirl in love, in private he’s a giggling mess about his partner and kicking his feet up, but quickly switches sides if someone walks in on him and denies over and over, even if they find out. “Deny deny deny, even if they find out… deny.”
What do you think Rodrick would do if his parents hired babysitter for Greg AND him (kind of like mbsav). Like he'd be peeved by it I think obvi and make plans to leave for the night until he meets the babysitter and it's a super hot girl ofc
he def gets mad and is like "im in high school, this is so unfair" but then he meets the babysitter who's really hot and popular, so now he's both a bit humiliated bc omfg this really pretty girl is in his house to babysit him, but he's also stoked bc a really pretty girl is in his house
pairing: rodrick x hyperfeminine reader (fem/she her/referred to as a girl)
summary: you're new at school and it takes a painfully long time for you to find the only hot guy there. he's had a massive painful crush on you since you first set foot through the door.
warnings: reader is a little insecure/anxious and copes through hyperfemininity, rodrick has low self esteem and dyslexia, they both think they have no chance with the other one, jocks keep asking you out, you're friends with Heather and Madison
a/n: obsessed with this dynamic. when you finally date everyone is so fucking confused lmao
@dustyinkpages @the-snake-pit @yesv01
First of fucking all
Match made in heaven
On your first day of school at Crossland you turned a whole lot of heads
You figure you should make a statement and decide to channel your idol, Elle Woods
You show up to school in a pink mini skirt blazer set, a little halter top with a heart cut out, and matching pink heels
You’re obviously rocking your signature scent, strawberry pound cake body spray and matching strawberry fizz flavored lip gloss
You did a mani pedi and a facial over the weekend to destress
You walk in quickly to avoid the people that are staring at you for some reason, unintentionally strutting through the halls in a way that appears totally confident
You reach the office to get your schedule and tuck it into your heart shaped bag along with your sunglasses
You make sure to smile and be extra friendly with all the teachers and administrative staff, and in every class where you have to introduce yourself over and over, you try to project what you hope is an approachable friendliness
People were already starting to whisper about the living barbie doll that just showed up out of nowhere, and these whispers reached none other than Heather Hills
She grabs Madison and tries to hunt you down
To confront you for trying to steal her place as the prettiest most popular girl there
Before she can threaten you, you’re asking her where the good boutiques in town are
You have such a unique, sunshiney charm that she totally forgets what she came to talk to you about
Before she knows it, you and her and Madison have plans to go shopping this weekend
You praise yourself for making a couple friends on the first day, not realizing you accidentally waltzed your way into the elusive popular girl clique
By the end of the day, you have entirely by accident established yourself as queen bee of the school
As time goes on, you’re relieved that at least some of the people at Crossland are so friendly
Sometimes people say hi to you, and you always reply with a smile or wave or hi back
But a lot of the time people just stare at you
You’re somewhat used to it since not a lot of people wear nearly as much pink as you do
Or glitter
Or use a fuzzy pink strawberry scented glitter gel pen for all their homework
So you try to chalk it up to that
As the days go on, everyone thinks they know exactly what to expect from you
You’re like Heather 2.0, just a little nicer
Which is almost worse
When Heather is mean to everyone she doesn’t like (which is almost everyone) at least they have a reason to hate her
But you??
You’re so elusive
You don’t have a ton of friends, you don’t go out of your way to go party unless Heather and Madison drag you there
But what’s weird is that you’ve turned down every guy who’s actually worked up the courage to ask you out
Every single guy at crossland wants to ask you out
But when the captain of the football team
And the quarterback
And the hottest guy in your grade all asked you out
And the whole school watched you politely turn them down one after the other
No one else thought they stood a chance
Heather and Madison think you’re crazy for turning them down
“I just… I’m not really into guys like that.” you say dismissively
“Hot jocks?” Heather demands
You would have said the type of guys who’d have bullied you in middle school, but now doesn’t seem like the right time to bring that up
“Yeah.” you agree, and eventually they stop pressing you
Your status of queen bee is even more solidified by the rumors rampantly spreading that not only are you unimaginably hot
But you’re also impossible to date
This becomes common knowledge after a while
Until one day when you’re running late to school
Heather’s still complaining about having to turn around and pick up her sister
“I mean, you were the one who forgot her at your house…” Madison starts, piping down fast when Heather glares at her
As you all get out of her convertible, tires screech behind you
A beat up white van with spray paint writing on the side parks haphazardly next to the curb
Muffled guitar and drums blast out of the car speakers, and as the driver opens the door, you recognize it as green day
Your eyes widen, and you lag behind to try and get a look at the driver
Heather’s ranting about something, and Madison grabs your arm, pulling you along as you watch the driver stumble out and trip on the curb
He has messy black hair, eyeliner, and he’s wearing a well loved ramones shirt
As if that wasn’t enough, he shoves the drumsticks he’s holding into his back pocket, poking out awkwardly
“Who is that?” you ask
Heather and Madison whip around, ecstatic that you finally found someone at school you think is hot
They scan the scattered crowd of other late students trying to make it inside before first bell
“Who?” Heather demands, looking straight past the guy at the captain of the football team who you’d turned down for the fourth time earlier this week. “Brent? You know Brent.”
A twinge of jealousy flashing through her voice as she finishes, desperate for more information
“No,” you say, pointing. “The guy who looks like Billie Joe Armstrong.”
“Who?” they both demand, still looking right past him
“Black hair, black shirt…”
Finally they see him
“Heffley??” Heather demands, holding back a gag at his name. “No, no, no. Not him, anyone but him.”
She shudders, pushing past both of you to go inside
You’re stuck in place, watching him greet his friends and laugh loudly as they shove each other hello
Madison leans in close
“That’s Rodrick. His god awful band ruined Heather’s sweet 16 and she’s still pissed about it. Going near him is social suicide.”
It suddenly makes sense that you haven’t bumped into the only hot guy at school yet
If you’re always with Heather and Heather avoids him like the plague…
Madison drags you inside, and you’re already trying to figure out a way to talk to him
Just because you didn’t know Rodrick exited before now, doesn’t mean he hasn’t been drooling over you since you showed up at Crossland
“Uh, dude… was she just staring at you?” Ward says once Madison finally drags you inside, forcing you to break your unwavering stare you had locked on Rodrick
He turns around quickly, looking for a more logical explanation for you looking in his direction as some football players walk past
“She must have been looking at Brent.” he decides
“No dude,” Ben punches his arm, “she was totally making eyes at you.”
They all laugh at the ridiculousness of the statement as he drags himself to his first class of the day
He can’t focus even more than usual
Were you staring at him? Making eyes at him like Ben had said?
He stares at the back of your head in all your shared classes, which is a lot of them, just like he always does
And just like always, his mind starts to wander
Of course he’s down stupid bad for you, he doesn’t know anyone that’s not
He wonders what you smell like, what you look like up close
He wonders what your hands would feel like on his body, if you’d drag your pretty manicured nails across his skin
He imagines kissing you in such vivid detail it feels real for a few moments
Then he starts to wonder what you’d taste like
Probably bubblegum, you usually chew it between periods when you won’t get in trouble for it
He wonders if your lip gloss is flavored
God, since the first day you showed up in this shithole he’s been thinking about you
He’s had countless dreams about you to
He always goes right back to sleep hoping he can see you again, feel your body against his, feel your lips on his skin one more time
He knows it’s hopeless, knows that even if you’ve seen him around and are vaguely aware of his existence, you don’t know his name
And why would you want to??
He’s such a teenage dirtbag he practically has rights to the song
Plus Brent is still determined to get you to go out with him
He considers himself your boyfriend already and has been threatening anyone who stares at you more than normal
Even if he could get past Brent and his own debilitating self doubt and low self esteem, you’re with Heather and Madison constantly, who still think he’s worse than mold after the incident and Heather’s sweet 16
You’re literally untouchable
Even still, he doesn’t think he’s ever had a crush this bad
Not even back when he liked Heather
The only way he can get through classes is by spacing out the whole time (his teachers expect nothing less of course) and imagining you marching right up to him and sitting on his lap to make out with him
The only notes he takes anymore are scribbled song lyrics about you until his hand cramps up and he gets one of those nausea headache he gets from trying to write or read too much
He thinks about you so much
It’s getting to the point where he’s thinking about you all the time
And he has absolutely no idea what to do about it
Because he doesn’t stand a chance
There’s no way in hell he could approach you, much less get you to go out with him
Plus you’ve literally turned down every guy that’s asked you out this year
Why would you want to go out with him???
Heather and Madison are wondering the same thing
You could easily pull anyone in this entire school
And now you’re making eyes at Heffley out of nowhere????
It doesn’t make sense
They can’t pay attention for the rest of the day
Neither can you
You spend the entire day trying to figure out how to talk to him (you could just walk over to him)
How to get his attention (you already have it)
How to set up the perfect scenario to make him fall for you (he fell hard and fast long before now and has not recovered)
A party
You have to throw a party and get his band to play
Then you can corner him after the show to buy a cd and see if you can get it to go somewhere
It’s perfect
Plus Heather’s been telling you that you should throw at least one party before the school year is over
You tell Heather you want to throw a party this weekend
She’s ecstatic, thinking you’re finally moving on to something better to focus on
She and Madison are so busy helping you get everything ready they don’t notice you staring at Rodrick in the halls every chance you get and never managing to get him to look over at you
You’re so busy throwing an elaborate rager of a party to try and seduce him like Jay Gatsby that you don’t notice him staring at you when you’re not looking too
You can’t let anything ruin your chance with Rodrick
Nothing can possibly go wrong
So when Brent asks you out again at lunch you turn him down more definitively than you have before
You tell him you’re just not into him like that, and to please stop asking you out
He’s never had someone tell him that they’re not attracted to him and want nothing to do with him
It was definitely a much needed blow to his self esteem
Rumors that you broke up with Brent (even though you weren’t dating in the first place) spread like wildfire
So after school when you manage to slip away from Heather and Madison for long enough to approach Rodrick and ask him and his band to play at your party this weekend
It feels like a fucking dream
Not only do they have a gig
But it’s at your party????
It feels fake
It feels like something his touch starved hormonal brain would concoct to distract him from what he should be thinking about
They start trying to figure out sets and extra practice time before your party
And Ben insists the whole time that you were making eyes at him
Except this time Rodrick kind of believes him
There’s no way this means he has a chance with you, right??
He watches you walk away
And as you walk away, you let out an excited suppressed giggle that you actually talked to him
You’re still flustered and blushing under all your makeup, fanning your warm face as you hop into the passenger seat of Heathers convertible
“What’s up with you?” she asks, noticing your distracted state
“I’m just… really excited for this party.” you smile, biting your lip
You don’t think about a thing other than him for the rest of the day
You decide this party really cannot come soon enough
If you play your cards right
You might even get him to like you back
You ruminate on this as you start picking out an outfit - in your signature pink, of course - completely unaware that Rodrick is already rehearsing for your party
He brought you in unannounced, a complete shock to his family when you walked into the house. You awkwardly smiled and waved when Mr. Heffley set down his Civil War book and said, “And who is this?”
“Mom, Dad, this is y/n, my s/o.” Rodrick introduced you and Greg immediately jumped in.
“You? Have a s/o?” His younger brother scoffed. “Did you pay them or trick them?” Rodrick kicked him and led you into the kitchen.
“Wasn’t aware we were having company—” Mr. Heffley muttered and was immediately cut off by his wife.
“But we are so glad you’re here and we have no problem setting an extra place at the dinner table for you.” Mrs. Heffley welcomed you and you were completely delighted by her. “Isn’t that right, Frank?” He reluctantly nodded. Rodrick pulled up a chair next to him and you got a wonderful home cooked meal that you made sure to show your gratitude for, shocking the family even more when they realized Rodrick brought a nice person home. They were almost sad when you left, but your boyfriend’s mom was sure to invite you over for another meal next week.
prompt: @cullens-stuff: “Ooh 1, fluff, With Rodrick Heffley!!! Please??”// 1: “Go with me?” “As long as you hold my hand.”
Rodrick Heffley: a tragic flirt.
Seriously, he tried and he tried, but when has he ever succeeded? That’s right, never. The closest he’s ever come was with you, who he ended up befriending instead. He wasn’t complaining, though. You were good company.
You two actually ended up becoming the best of friends, completely inseparable from each other. Sometimes it made him sick, but he got over it as soon as he saw you beside him.
“Rodrick!” You ran up the stairs and into his room without warning, startling him upon entry, especially when you tripped on that last step and fell over. “Hi.”
“What’s going on?” He chuckled with a half-smirk and rolled off his bed to help you up.
“Thanks,” you mumbled and brushed yourself off, “you know that concert that I was talking about last week?” You asked, regaining the enthusiasm you had entered with.
“Yeah, the rock and roll one a few cities over?” Rodrick fell back into his mattress and faced you.
“That’s the one!” You hopped next to him on the bed and grabbed his arm, giving it a good shake while you gave him the news: “I won two tickets to the show!” You squealed and watched his lips curl up at your wholesome excitement. “Go with me?” You innocently proposed, still grasping his arm while you gave him your “begging” face.
“As long as you hold my hand,” he gave a counteroffer, “we don’t want you getting lost at the concert, do we?”
“Yeah, right!” You gave him a playful slap on the shoulder, but you realized he wasn’t kidding when you saw him waiting for a response. “Okay, fine! But you can’t fall in love with me.”
“Okay, Greg, do you remember the FOIL method?” You asked while pointing to the equation:
(2x-5)(2x-5)
“Yeah, I remember.” He started scratching his work down ok the paper, letting you spectate. But you weren’t the only one, Greg’s older brother had snuck behind the two of you, watching and waiting for some kind of mistake.
“No, no, Greg, you’re doing it all wrong!” Rodrick smiled proudly, giving you a little wink. “Those are the same numbers, so they cancel each other out. Jeez, you need more help than I thought.” The older brother patted Greg’s shoulders and you shook your head.
“Actually, Rodrick, that rule doesn’t apply to everything. Maybe you need some tutoring, too.” You commented, leaving Rodrick humiliated by his efforts. You could hear Greg snickering as Rodrick walked away, you couldn’t help but join in.
