mostly fictional babes, some others - updates thursday (and sometimes tuesday) 5pm est - 24, they/them - requests r open xo - [icon by viria, background by dimespin, desplay pic by nowhere-little-girl]
Conrad Fisher is a man of control. He is a man of dogmatic self restraint and responsibility. Which is great 99.999% of the time. Except what Conrad has not come to accept about himself if that he’s only human. Even a worm will turn, and even a worm will YEARN. What I mean by that is that once Conrad finally finally FINALLY gets his hands on you? Once he finally kisses you like his body and soul and being all the way down to his bone marrow have been NEEDING to??? He can’t stop. He kisses you like he’s hungry.
Because he is.
I cannot stress this enough, that every single touch from you lights Conrad’s blood on fire. Literally. Every touch, every nudge and boop and graze, everything. If he can feel your body heat from sitting next to him, his brain is 50% bluescreening and he’s fighting for his life not to get chubbed up.
He needs you SO bad. His lungs burn for you like he can finally breathe in a way he couldn’t before. And he keeps telling himself he just needs a little more, just a few more seconds, just one more kiss, telling himself that after this round he’ll be satisfied enough for now, the itch will be scratched, he’ll get it out of his system.
…Nope.
The first time you have sex after the dam breaks… you’re not getting ANY sleep. You’re not leaving his bed for a long time. Do not plan on walking at all for a day or two. Conrad was physically trembling, Mr. Darcy hand flex style, to restrain himself. So once you tell him he doesn’t HAVE TO???????? Oh my god. Ohhhhhhh my godddddddd. He is absolutely insatiable. He’s between your legs for HOURS, slow and steady, just milking pleasure out of you. That med school knowledge really comes in handy, because he finds ALL of your spots in seconds and knows just what to do with those soft lips and long fingers. And even when you’re shaking, trembling, losing your mind, cumming more than you ever have in your LIFE. You look down and see this look of raw hunger in his eyes.
That’s the moment that it really hits you like a truck just how badly he’s been needing this.
just scheduled an ask for next month with more baby stark x kate bishop but I got way distracted and made this fun lil thing for all my fellow stark children!!!!
choose your outfit fem ver: going to some fancy gala in Milan with your dad (who has to make an iron man appearance)
copy of text at bottom of pic: Important note!! hairstyles can be any texture, color, or length (or can even be wigs) so don't let that throw you lol. Love you!!!
also all the accessories, nails etc are optional, you are more than welcome to mix and match or whatever you vibe with, THERE ARE NO RULES SHIRT BROTHER!!!!!
anyway lemme know if yall are into this and I'll make more!!! I'll do a masc/androgynous/not feminine version and reblog it for extended options. (also PLEASE let me know if I forgot to include anything in the hair/head scarves section!! I tried to get a good variety of hair textures, hijabs, and turbans, but I ran out of room lol. I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO FEEL EXCLUDED!!!!!! I LOVE YOU BABES!!!!!!!!)
also one more note: if you wear a hijab, turban, veil, or any other kind of head covering for religious/cultural/personal reasons, Tony FULLY fucking supports that!!!! he thinks you look just adorable in it!!!!!! he loves to see it and he thinks of you any time he sees someone else wearing one!!!!!! also this part is especially applicable if you wear a hijab or any religious head covering - Tony has a special drone trained to follow you at an undetectable distance and notice if your hijab or covering starts to fall off. It automatically creates a holographic privacy shield that no one (and no cameras) can see through to give you coverage to fix it without having to worry. When I say Tony Stark Supports His Motherfuckin Kid, I mean TONY STARK SUPPORTS HIS MOTHERFUCKIN KID!!!!!!
Leo x reader but every time he does something for u he gets thank you kisses :D
No because you are so so correct about this anon. Leo THRIVES off of both smooches and positive reinforcement. He doesn’t even realize you’re doing it at first, and you probably don’t realize it either. You’re just so overcome by love and gratitude and adoration for this beautiful beautiful man when you see him fixing the wiring in your shitty apartment or lighting your gas stove with his fingertips when you can’t find matches. And lighting your scented candles, and melting cheese on your pizza, and making you smores by hand. Literally. By hand. You also have access to fondue whenever you want and he LIVES to hold a little bowl of chocolate and keep it all melty for you two to dip stuff in and nibble on together. You know how some people use a lighter to heat up their eyeliner pencils before they apply it? Leo has GOT YOU. His favorite part of mornings with you (and any other time you’re doing makeup or need to touch up/reapply your eyeliner) is when you pull out your pencil and uncap it and hold it out to him, because you’re so focused and cute when you’re like “could you-” he’s already like “I gotchu <3” heating that shit up nice and melty just how you like it. When your hands or feet or nose are cold, he’ll light his hands on fire for a few seconds to get them extra toasty so he can warm you up real good. He can and WILL quite literally light himself on fire to keep you warm. And he enjoys doing it.
So of COURSE every time you’re having a bad day and he comes in with a metal bowl full of hershey’s kisses or or a bag of chocolate chips and some little sweet treats you already KNOW what he’s going to do (make some fondue to cheer you up. Or as he likes to call it “fon-do you ;)”. GODS I love him.), or how you never even have to pat yourself down for a lighter or remember where you put your matches or worry about lighting the grill for a cookout which you find terrifying every time and he finds SO endearing, he just takes care of that shit. Don’t even get me STARTED on how he fixes shit up around the house or your apartment, or how he’ll just make you little things, or his biggest love language: fixing problems you didn’t even know you had. “Greek gods” this, “roman gods” that, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU TO SMOOCH THIS MAN!!!!!!!!! AND YOU FUCKING DO!!!!! EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE CANNOT BELIEVE IT. HE STARTS GIGGLING. HE CANNOT WRAP HIS BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRAIN AROUND THE FACT THAT YOU GET CUTENESS AGGRESSION TOWARDS HIM, THAT YOU JUST WANT TO SMOTHER HIM IN KISSES AND BITE HIS CHEEKS AND MORE KISSES. AND SOME MORE KISSES AFTER THAT (he’s heard it’s the most pleasant way to go) so it truly is a reward system for you both tbh. Win win.
headcanons for characters who I feel would get their asses handed to them by none other than Jack Brewer is UP for early access on patreon and dropping here on 6/4/26!
this was supposed to be an ask but got way too long so it's headcanons now!!! enjoy babeses!!! also disclaimer I DO NOT know much about tattoos. As always I try my best to do research but PLEASE take what I say with a grain of salt and feel free to leave feedback if I get something wrong but I beg of thee milord to be nice I have double cancer placements in my birth chart and I am sensitive :')
OH HELL YES HELL YES!!!!!! I know you didn’t ask but first and foremost, I FIRMLY believe that Jack (and his band) sound a LOT like Stone Sour’s earlier work (from what I’ve heard so far I found them while looking for a voice claim lol. Also if anyone has any bands that they think would work as voice/music claims for Jack Mercer and his band hit me UPPPPP!!!!) Specifically the song come what(ever) may, it gives me hella Jack vibes.
Okay, I’ll drop the updated (and color coded!!) tattoo tour, then go into detail with headcanons for each one, plus other tats I think he’d get at the end.
(disclaimer: there are so many layers in the mdp file I made the og tour on and I, a silly goose, did not label them. I grouped them by placement, and since have figured out what ALL, yes ALL, of his tats are. I’ve color coded them for additional clarity)
Starting off at the top with his chest, we have the japanese kanji for “wa”
I think this is really REALLY telling about his personality
Also I think it’s fucking adorable that he got it on the opposite side of his chest from where his heart is
Like your heart symbolizes desire and and love and emotional intuition and stuff
So getting a kanji on the opposite side that means peace and unity and harmony reads to me like he was almost balancing it out in a way??
Like your heart is on the inside for yourself, and wa is on the outside and is a representation of connections with other people and your community and humanity at large yk
Just my take but that one definitely reads as something that’s very deeply meaningful to him and a HUGE part of his life philosophy
Next up, the bigass crosses on his shoulders
You can see it better in other scenes than here but they’re mirrored/matching images both in design and placement
I feel like these are mostly for the aesthetic
Like when he was a kid and he would picture “cool rockstar with tattoos” it was always two big gothic crosses on the shoulders and a tattoo of the band’s name or logo and then some other stuff on the arms
It’s one of those things where no matter how much music he writes and how many shows he does with his band, when he catches a glimpse of those particular tattoos by accident THAT’S always what makes him feel like hell YEAH I’m a rockstar!!!!!
Inside of his wrists: previously unidentified scale-like lettering (now identified as his initials, J M)
Okay, it seems to be a stylized sans serif font of J on his right wrist and M on his left (looking at him we see J on OUR left and M on OUR right. Probably obvious but as a dyslexic bitch it’s always beneficial for me to be very clear about left/right orientation like that)
Here’s where it gets really cute to me
So we read english from left to right. The letters are pointing toward his hands, which means when he holds out his wrists to show them off, they’re oriented for someone ELSE to read (they’d be on the opposite wrist if he wanted them oriented for him to read)
BUT BECAUSE OF THE PLACEMENT OTHER PEOPLE WILL READ IT AS M J. HE GOT SOMETHING ABOUT THE PLACEMENT OR ORIENTATION BACKWARDS/MIXED UP. WHY IS THAT SO FUCKING CUTE.
It’s the type of thing Bobby teases him about but Jack will SO FUCKING double down that he ABSOLUTELY did it on purpose and Bobby just doesn’t get it, man
He’s lowkey a little embarrassed even though he has to admit it’s kind of funny
Will die from multiple gunshot wounds before he admits that it was a mistake (youngest sibling core)
“Spares” on right forearm
On his right forearm is the word “spares” in HUGE lowercase celtic font lettering
This is interesting because it’s very visible and stylized pretty deliberately (we see american traditional and japanese traditional influences in the styles he picks, and a little pinch of gothic influence, this is the only one that seems to have a visible celtic influence)
I am loud and proud about my headcanon for this, which is that “spares” is the name of his band
And that’s how their logo is stylized, all lowercase in a somewhat celtic calligraphy font
I actually found a free font that’s virtually identical for any of my fan artists and Jack bitches out there (paul’s celtic font 1 from dafont, pictured below*)
(disclaimer that I did use the in program text settings to make it bold bc I think that’s the cherry on top, preview of what it looks like normally)
Additionally, I also think it’d be really cute if there are three other guys in his band because he’s subconsciously recreating the formula that “worked” with his family. His magic number is “me + three other dudes” and IT FUCKING WORKS EVERY TIME
Also I get the feeling that the number and lineup of guys in Spares has changed a little over time. Like they’ll lose a member, someone will get swapped out because of creative differences or drugs or burnout or something, one or two other people join temporarily and one ends up sticking around for longer, that sort of thing
But the consistency in Spares IS Jack
He is absolutely the heart and soul of the band
I also firmly believe that he’s wanted a tattoo of his band’s name for YEARS but made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t get it until they reached a point where they couldn’t really change their name before he got it
Like once they’ve cut an album and a couple EPs, survived their first shitty tour of the east coast playing underground shows, once they’re advertised and KNOWN as Spares and can’t change their name without a marketing/rebranding nightmare, THAT’S when he’ll get it
Also, sidebar: you know how people say “overnight success takes years”??? Like people who have blown up seemingly out of nowhere have been working towards that for years and years??? THAT’S SPARES. They’ve been doing underground shows in New York and New Jersey and Philly, they’ve recorded a TON of demos and a couple EPs of questionable quality, they have like two albums written but Jack is holding out on recording them because he wants to do it right
And because we ALL know he 100% lives and is totally and completely fine and healthy, after he recovers from the NONFATAL “I got shot multiple times” incident, it’s actually the media attention of Sweet’s death and/or arrest (everything post snowball fight is up to interpretation imo, because we do NOT accept that ending as canon) and Fowler’s arrest that leads to Spares finally starting to get recognized
Jack recovers and after spending pretty much the whole time he was in the hospital overflowing with ideas and inspiration, he gets back to new york with like two or three albums worth of AMAZING songs
An surprise surprise, their down on his luck manager that’s been scrambling to get them any gig possible is now OVERWHELMED with venues desperate to book them
They have record labels reaching out and getting into BIDDING WARS over them
His bandmates were worried sick when they heard he’d been shot and as soon as Jack gets back to New York and finds out about all the publicity they got from this, he’s like “man, maybe I should get shot up more often”
They’re like “JACK THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!!!!!” even though they’re trying and failing not to laugh. It’s actually very comforting to see that he’s joking about it. He also jokes that now that he’s got bullet wounds he’ll look even more badass to girls. Tattoos, 6’3 guitarist, deep voice sweet smile, AND bullet scars that have a more and more dramatic story every time he tells it???? Who WOULDN’T fall in love????!?!?!!
I could go on but I’ll leave that there and move onto the next tat
Next up, the flaming heart on his right bicep (aka one of my favorites)
It’s incredibly blurry but I PROMISE you it does in fact read Evelyn
WHO’S CUTTING UP ONIONS???????????
I have a whole story about how he got this tattoo, but that’s a story for another time (it has to do with Bobby being a very fun very cool older brother who makes very questionable decisions at time. I’m not elaborating at this moment but will in a later post.)
This was his first tattoo, which in his mind his first tattoo MUST be an homage, thank you, and tribute to his mom Evelyn
Jack, a tried and true and shamelessly loyal mama’s boy, showing up to high school the next day when someone’s like “wait did you get a tattoo of your MOM’S name????”: Duh. like DUH!!!! DUHHHHHH!!!!!
Skull and pointy things, inside of his right forearm
Not positive what the things on the side are supposed to be
It kind of looks like a pelvis/hip bones to me, but it’s probably just jagged pointy banners/framing
Also part of the aesthetic/rockstar vibe he lives and breathes
Skull tattoo is scribbled in marker on a list of things you need to be a rockstar somewhere in his old stuff from when he was kid
Back of left bicep, sleepy beer belly man
At a loss for words with this one honestly
Sleepy beer belly man lives rent free in my head. I have so many questions and fear I will never get an answer
This could be a lot of things
An inside joke, a rare drunk tattoo, an in universe thing, some sort of reference I am fully out of the loop on
I have no idea!
I think sleepy beer belly man is the bees knees. I giggle whenever I catch a glimpse of that goofy little guy
If you or anyone you know has ANY. AND I MEAN ANY INSIGHT on what sleepy beer belly man is or might be, I BEG THEE MILORD. PLEASE GRACE ME WITH THINE WISDOM.
Bonus: tattoos I think he’d get later on
Two doves/birds carrying a banner over a heart. The banner contains your name, and is one of his very very few color tattoos
Your lipstick mark on his neck with your initial (outline or black and white, possibly solid black). Jack might not bring you up all the time (he prefers to let his crowbar and hands do the talking) but he might as well be walking around with a neon t shirt that says ASK ME ABOUT MY GF/BF/BOO THANG PLEASEEEEE ASK ME ABOUT MY SHAWTY BAE!!!!!!!!! He LOVES any excuse to talk about you and brag about you, and he LOVES having a very visible very permanent indicator that his heart actually lives outside of his ribcage and in your pretty pretty hands. Also it’s a little immature/petty of him but he LOVES the moment when groupies realize he’s not into them because he’s exclusively into you. Internally he’s like “yeah, it’s not your fault they’re so perfect and no one can hold a candle to them. But they’re so perfect and no one can hold a candle to them.” it’s like a reward.
More of your kisses SCANDALOUSLY low on his hips lol. Probably either just the one next to his happy trail, or one on either side (we know this boy loves symmetry lmao). Also a bit of a bragging right/excuse to talk about you and how much he loves you.
Five stars on his hand where your fingers sit when you hold his hand :’)
A thin red line around his thumb. He doesn’t explain this one and it takes you forever to realize the meaning behind it (red string of fate)
A small four leaf clover next to/around/over all his bullet scars. Luck for surviving, and more importantly, an homage to the bond between him and his brothers which is really where that luck came from. I’m going to go sob and throw up now.
A cat and banner that reads 8 lives (not 9, 8. It’s giving “I think that god is gonna have to kill me twice, kill me twice like my name was Nikki Sixx” from young and menace by fob. It’s actually very fitting for him tbh.) It’s also a larger reminder that he survived a whole lot of bullshit and will continue to do so, and also sort of a bragging right lol
You don't have to do this but if you're up to it, could you please do a Leo x Hades!reader? I think about it a lot bcz Hades kids are unusually cold and can take more heat then others (it's takes a lot to cool them down) and their good for cuddles in the summer. I just thought that him being hot and her being cold would be super cute. But do you think that their insides, like mouth and stuff, are also cold or is the inside of their body hot? Regardless,I just want a physically cold Hades reader x Leo Valdez por favor (please) if not then it's okay
OOHHHHHH HELL MOTHERFUCKING YES BITCH. We already know that Leo LOVES him an alt baddie (source: light up the dark by yours truly) and we also know he’s basically the furthest thing from a born and raised new englander/canadian/alaskan etc. My point is Leo is from Houston Texas, bounced around some (probably also southern) foster homes, and ended up stuck in a troubled teen school in Nevada. Long Island is officially THE coldest place he’s ever lived hands down, since it gets up to the high 70s in temperature (Farrenheit. I tried to do a little conversion chart but it was too messy to read so uh. MS paint bitch)
I spent more time on that than I probably should have. ANYWAY
My point is that Leo really really fuckin knows how to appreciate refreshing cool temperatures in the summer heat (even if that heat is mild compared to what he’s used to). You better believe the two of you are joint at the hip for a lot of reasons, but especially because your system is you keep him nice and cool in the summer, he keeps you nice and cozy in the winter. Is a large part of that an excuse to cuddle more? Probably! Do either of you care? Fuck no! Believe that Frank will also periodically ask to borrow you when his poor overheated Canadian ass has to deal with summer heat too lmao. Leo’s favorite hobby in this situation is giving him a fake hard time about it. It’s Leo’s favorite bit. And naturally it’s Frank’s least favorite bit. Leo’s always extra touchy around you, always sighing into kisses and muttering stuff like “where the hell were you when it was 102 degrees in April, hm?”
Also real talk, you’ll probably end up with some cheesy nickname because of this. Ice cube. AC. Peppermint Patty. I don’t make the rules, I just inform you about his shenanigans. GOD I FUCKING LOVE THIS MAN.
hay……if i may be indulged can we maybe have some tristan dugray crumbs…..ive read ur hcs abt him and im obsessed :p subject is totally up to you lol
BABES. YES. Okay I've got like zero juice at the time of writing this but you know what I can't stop thinking about??? TRISTIN'S SCENT PROFILE. Here's the tea on that:
cologne (with notes/accords in the link)
Daily: acqua di gio by armani - notes include lime, lemon, bergamot, jasmine, sea, hyacinth, coriander, white musk, cedar, oakmoss
For parties: suavage by dior - notes include bergamont, pepper, lavender, vetiver, geranium, cedar
(or, for impressing YOU at a party: replica jazz club by maison martin margiela - notes include pink pepper, lemon, rum, vetiver oil, tobacco, vanilla bean)
For formal events: aventus by creed - notes include bergamot, black currant, apple, lemon, pink pepper, patchouli, moroccan jasmine, birch, oak moss, cedarwood
his secret weapon/signature scent: la nuit de l'homme by yves saint laurent - notes include cardamom, lavender, cedar, bergamot, vetiver
other than that, the general scents he gravitates towards are usually more in the aquatic/citrus/spa plant ballpark (stuff like eucalyptus, cedar, moss, vetiver). tldr he smells really. really fucking good.
i need.. leo valdez porn links.. like u did w spencer….
what if I tongue kissed you on the mouth????? /p
(disclaimer: nsft twt links below the cut, log in to view, DNI if you're under 18 obviously)
Spoiling subby!Leo with a reach around and some cuddling <3
Eepy seepy morning sex w leo is the BEST sex w leo
How he eats you out (or, munch!Leo vol. 1)
Leo noises <3
Subby!Leo + handjob pt 2
Leo on top (he's insatiable!)
More of him being a munch (aka munch!Leo vol. 2)
He KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH HIS HANDSSSSSS
Don't you love sitting on his lap? <3
Type of videos he sends you when you're apart (he misses you so bad he's in agony and has to view being away from you as foreplay or he'll never survive)
He knows when you need to get dicked down!!!!!
He's truly a switch. You can touch him as much as you want and he can't get enough of it.
Leo Valdez is an insatiable munch volume 3
If he's not on top of you and kissing all over your face something ain't right
Matching each others freak to a degree that's concerning and hazardous to the general public /j
GIVE THIS MANS BINGBONGS SOME LOVING!!!!!
lmk if y'all want more bc I fear conrad fisher might be up next
Hiyaa is Curiosity is a Wonderful thing coming back :)? No pressure just wondering!
YES IT IS I PROMISE!!!!! I have an unfortunate history of hitting a mid fanfiction slump where it seems like I've dropped the project entirely but I HAVE NOT!!!!! The whole thing is outlined (somewhat questionably lol) and I swear to GOD we are going to finish the whole thing and it will be messy and delicious and spectacular.
The good news is while I have a history of the mid fic slump, I have a SPOTLESS track record of finishing what I start. Writing wise at least. so rest easy babes because Curiosity will be back as soon as I catch my fuckin breath lol /lh
to tide you over, here's a fun fact! Ben ABSOLUTELY gets cuteness aggression towards you. There are times when he sees you and you're not even doing anything but you're so cute he just wants to squeeze you in a hug and maybe bite you a little. He has the restraint not to act on it (99% of the time) but don't be surprised if he sometimes just gets these bursts of aggressive cuddly affection
Oh my god, I loved your post about Jack's tattoos, I've always been curious to know what they meant (sorry if the message doesn't make sense, I'm writing it with a translator :p)
FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH!!!!! babes I loved this so much I wrote 2k of headcanons and analysis plus detailed photos and a color coded chart :') (it's up right now on my patreon and will post here on 5/14/26, 5pm EST) in the mean time to tide you over, these are some songs that I think sound like jack and his band:
lips of an angel - hinder
better luck next time - lifehouse
way down we go - kaleo (more for the vocals than the genre, if it was a little edgier/grungier it would be 10/10)
ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU SMM
IM SO GLAD I FINALLY FOUND YOUR TUMBLR ACCOUNT AFTER READING NEARLY ALL YOUR LEO VALDEZ FANFICTION ON AO3!!
MY FRIEND WHO IS ALSO OBSESSED WITH YOUR WORKS IS GONNA LOVE THIS OMGG
you literally were the one who FED me back when i was still obsessed with leo (still am but shhh)
THANK YOU FOR EXISTING
AAAAAAAAH BABES I’M SCREAMING SOBBING THROWING THE FUCK UPPPPP!!!!!!! SMOOCHES!!!!!! ONE MILLION SMOOCHES FOR YOU AND ONE MILLION FOR YOUR FRIEND RIGHT NOWWWW!!!!!
And I totally get you. Leo Valdez brain rot does not EVER go away. You know how Princess Diana was called the people’s princess? Leo Valdez is the people’s pookie. OH I want to bite him so bad right now. Something Leo centric I’ve been thinking about lately is how much he would LOVEEEE his super into fashion!gf/partner. Like you’re basically a walking barbie/bratz/monster high doll and he EATS THAT SHIT UPPPPPPP. You could spend hours talking about kibbe types and undertones and how different cuts of skirts will look TOTALLY different depending on the fabric so you really have to know both to know how it will move. Leo is barely following you. He’s so engaged with what you’re saying and he LOVES hearing you talk (especially when it’s something you’re real passionate about. He goes apeshit.) He can and will listen to you talk for hours and hours and still be down for more. You could just be yapping in simlish and he’d love it.
Maybe you have a tumblr where you post your ootds and thrifting finds and sewing projects, maybe you’re more of a tiktok or instagram person. Hell, maybe you just upload your shit to pinterest. Maybe you’re not on social media at all. But when you sink your teeth into a project??? He gets SO invested vicariously. You know how a lot of times boyfriends get really bored waiting for their girlfriends to shop or try on clothes, how they sometimes make “boyfriend play zones” for men waiting for their partners??? That is NOT a Leo problem. He really said “couldn’t be me. Y’all stay safe though”.
You call him or burst into his workshop or gently wake him up at some ungodly (ungodSly) hour of night looking absolutely feral because YOU JUST FOUND THE JEAN PAUL GAULTIER BALLET HEELS FROM THEIR FALL 2011 LINE ON MERCARI AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE SHIPPED THIS WEEK!!!!! Leo’s head is basically just full of jello soup from how late it is and how tired he is but he’s already smiling. He’s already beaming ear to ear and hyping you up so hard.
“Oh shiiiiiit! See? I knew you could do it mami,” he teases, pulling you closer and running his hands up and down your sides and hips and thighs affectionately. And then just to make you giggle, he nuzzles into your neck and nibbles your ear.
“Damn, those are gonna look so fire on you. I’m gonna have to be the one with the extinguisher this time.”
song rec: hot mess - palaye royale (also desire - palaye royale)
a/n: AWOOGA AWOOGA!!! this man is so fucking fine he broke me out of my headcanon hibernation slumber. In the words of Bobby Hill, "THAT'S MY MANS!!!! I DON'T KNOW YOU!!!!!!!" (aka me turning into a honeybadger around his groupies)
Alright we’re coming in strong and hot and fast so is Jack!
First and foremost this man is three things
Insatiable
OUTRAGEOUSLY obsessed with unwrapping you like a present
And the BIGGEST munch of all fucking time
“What ever happened to hello? What ever happened to good morning, how are you?” HAVE YOU SEEN HIM????? THERE’S NO TIME DICK IN MOUTH IMMEDIATELYYYYYYYY
I can’t stop thinking about his fucking tongue piercing
AND the fact that he’s a very very very good guitar player
Like seriously your coochie???? OBLITERATED
Jack LOVES going down on you
I cannot stress that enough
You know the lyric from desire by palaye royale????
“I can see the look in your eyes/I just wanna dive between your thighs”
That one???????
Yeah Jack actually WROTE THAT ABOUT YOU.
Any emo/punk/rock/angsty songs that are just OVERWHELMINGLY HORNY?? Jack for shit sure wrote those lyrics (and even more significantly hornier, more yearning, dirtier ones. He has broken the horny richter scale)
He feels incomplete if he’s not either rubbing his long ass fingers against your gspot and sucking on your clit (or the other way around. Maybe he’s rubbing his tongue piercing on your gspot and playing your poor clit like a fucking guitar riff)
Like he GENUINELY reaches a flow state when he’s eating you out
And when you start getting all nervous and squirmy because he’s overstimulating you???
The motherfucker has the audacity to LAUGH INTO YOUR PUSSY
Deepass rumbles that just make your legs shakier and coochie drippier
And then!!! HE DOUBLES DOWN
I’m not going to lie to you, he’s the youngest of all his siblings. He is GOING to have a bit of a bratty streak now and again.
Jack is generally SO sweet and respectful and doesn’t go looking for trouble
So it sort of feels like a 180 when he just keeps going and going and going
Like he’s trying to see how much of his mouth and tongue and hands you can take before you snap (that’s exactly what he’s doing
Like his goal whenever he goes down on you (again I cannot stress how often it is. This man LIVES to chow down on your box) is to get you so worked up and desperate and simultaneously overstimulated that you’re whining and pulling his hair to try and make him come up and fuck you properly already
If he’s not teasing you enough that you’re pulling his hair on instinct, he hasn’t teased you enough
And don’t get me started on how fucking VOCAL he is
We know he’s generally not much of a chatterbox unless he’s chattering in YOUR box I’m sorry I’ll see myself out
And that doesn’t change too too much when you’re “doing a lot of making up” as Angel put it
But good god the NOISES?????? Jesus fucking christ it’s enough to make you cum untouched
And justifiably so
Picture this: Jack’s on top of you (or underneath you or whatever) and all you hear is his heavy shaky breathing, thick swallows, his grunts and gasps and rumbly groans that eventually build up to moaning like a whore in your ear
The best part is… it’s not performative. Like you actually make him feel so loved and fire off so many good chemicals in his brain and you’re so fucking gorgeous and feel so goddamn good wrapped around him, all soft and gummy and squeezing him just right
It just happens. It all just slips out organically. He has NO shot of a poker face with you, nor would he want to have one
You know those thirsty ass copypastas that are like “no lube no protection all day all night every position in every room-”
I… unfortunately don’t think there’s a better way to describe the sexual chemistry between you two
Speaking of positions, Jack also cannot wrap his mind around how COMFORTING you are. I could get heavy into the emotional aspect of that but let’s save that for the sfw hcs and focus on getting dicked down by our 6’3 punk rock guitarist boyfriend <3
Aside from the obvious and all consuming emotional safety and understanding he feels with you (with how traumatic his upbringing was I CANNOT stress how important that is to him. Feeling safe around you basically means you’re mated for life!!! Congratulations, what kind of china patterns would you like for your wedding registry?)
Being around you just activates allllllll the physical manifestations of comfort safe yay good cozy let’s stay like this forever I want to crawl inside your skin in him
Like you belong together on a cellular level
Which OBVIOUSLY also means on top of lots of normal sex, there’s also a whole lot of cockwarming and sleepy lazy morning sex and before bed cuddlefucking (and afternoon cuddlefucking and cockwarming him while he’s working on songs and… yeah the list goes on)
One of his favorite positions for said cuddlefucking is being the big spoon and just bear hugging you with his dick inside you
It’s so warm and cozy and he gets to hold you like a plushie and bury his face in your hair
And you get… to be cuddlefucked by Jack Mercer, and have his heavy breathing and whiny grunts right in your ear
So that’s OBVIOUSLY a win-win situation
Also any time you’re having sex and his arms are wrapped around you, something you do sort of by accident that makes him INSANEEEEEE AND LOVESICKKKKKKKK is when you bite down on his tattoos. When you mouth at them and suck on them and accidentally leave hickeys peeking out around the ink.
You’re not even aware of it, and it’s probably just the natural placement and positioning of everything
But the fact that the hickeys you leave on his arms are usually partially hidden under his tattoos makes his head SPIN
It feels so much more intimate than if it were just randomly placed out in the open (he LOVES those too don’t get me wrong. He wants you to mark him up as much as he wants to mark you up. Invest in some really good concealer and color corrector now sis, you’re gonna need it!)
But it’s like… it’s like an extra little secret just for the two of you
He thinks it’s probably close to how you feel when he buys you lingerie that you get to wear under your clothes all day
A secret little kiss that stays with each of you constantly
Also have you ever wondered how to turn a guy into full unga bunga throw you over his shoulder and drag you to bed feral horny mode??? Wanna know how to activate that?????
For Cracker Jack, it’s all that cute lingerie you have!!!
He likes the valentines day stuff, the stuff clearly meant to make the wearer look sexy for their partner
It’s great
But you know what he loves hands down a THOUSAND times more????
The stuff you already have. The stuff you get for yourself because it’s cute and comfy and fits your aesthetic and makes you feel all fancy. That’s the shit that makes him go fully insane.
And we all know how good a lil contrasting aesthetics moment is
So if your favorite store has some kind of crazy ten minute sale and you get a FUCK TON of cute little nighties and bra n panty sets and babydoll panty sets to sleep in and lightweight gauzy little negligees that look like they’d just blow away in a mild breeze
…oh boy. Oh god. I hope you don’t have plans for a while because you’re about to lose the ability to walk normally for a WHILE
He doesn’t know why all the cute soft pastel colors, all the delicate ruffles and dainty bows and lacy little accents drive him so fucking INSANE, why the little gingham ribbons and embroidered flowers or hearts or whatever make him actually salivate and turn into an animal (in a good way obviously)
But honestly he’s never asked himself why
Because he’s so overcome with love and lust and want and need at the very passing THOUGHT of you in your cute little bras and panties that any kind of analysis has flown out the window
He’s either looking for you as soon as the thought approaches
Or texting you something filthy
Or immediately trying to distract himself so he doesn’t get hard in public or something
Speaking of texts!!! You know how we talked about his voice???????
Phone. Sex.
For your consideration, Jack and his band Spares are on their first tour (I chose that name for his band because he has a massive forearm tattoo that reads spares so um. Not sure what other reason he would have to get that tattooed if it wasn’t his band’s name/logo. Also I think it fits really well)
Anyway, Spares are on their first tour and it’s amazing and incredible, but you’re still working. So you come out to some of the shows to see them on weekends when you can get away, which is great because Jack misses you, and he always performs better when you’re in the crowd, and the guys LOVE you
But when you’re not out visiting him? When you’re holding down the fort in your cramped little New York apartment you live in together??
Expect a lot of phone calls
Expect to stay on the phone for god knows how long just yapping about whatever because he misses your voice
And expect his hums and murmurs as he listens to start getting deeper and rougher and needier
You know how I said you could probably cum untouched from like his sounds or the way his hands look or something I don’t remember verbatim what I said and I’m too tired and dyslexic to hunt it down rn
Jack ABSOLUTELY has cum just from hearing you talk about whatever. Just the sound of your pretty voice and cute laugh and huffy sighs when you’re annoyed, just the intimacy laced in your voice that only comes out around him
Um. HELL yeah he’s getting off to that
Everything about you just lights him up like a manhattan christmas tree
I’m cutting myself off here so I can sleep (aka blush and giggle and kick my feet until I doze off maladaptive daydreaming about Jack) and so there’s enough fuel for more hcs later
Good luck coping with this knowledge!!!! I’m not coping with it well at all!!!!! Since I can’t stop thinking about riding him into fucking oblivion, neither will you <3
When I tell you this man is INSATIABLE. It’s an understatement. He’s a WIZARD at stem and building shit and fixing shit and engineering and figuring out how things tick. Which means you better say goodbye to your ability to walk without ibuprofen and fucking bambi trying to walk on ice legs.
Leo wants to EAT you. He’s not a “ooh lemme go down on you to get you turned on” guy. This man is fucking hungry. There was some tiktok of a guy being like “I want to EAT you. Then I want to eat you AGAIN. Then I want to take a break for us to have snacks where I feed you little bites of whatever we’re eating, then eat YOU AGAIN FOR DESSERT-” and yeah that’s Leo that’s what Leo is like. He genuinely reaches a fucking flow state with his fingers and tongue all over your folds. He SALIVATES at the thought of your cooch on his mouth.
He’ll fucking DEVOUR your pussy whenever and wherever he can. He really likes pinning you down on mildly inconvenient surfaces that have you squeezing your thighs around his head like earmuffs. He likes having you sit on the arm of the couch and pushing you back so you’re flat on the cushions with your hips propped up. That one in particular makes you all squirmy. (visual aid below because that was probably confusing)
Angst time! (with fluff at the end ofc) Jason Todd didn’t go to school. Like at all. He had no formal education before 7th or 8th grade when Bruce found him. With his home life, it wasn’t hard to see how something like that slipped through the cracks. He lied about it for years, of course. Obviously. When Bruce took him in and Jason found out he was calling around various Gotham public schools to look for his transcripts, Jason told him they got lost in their records or something. That sounded sus to Bruce, but Jason went on and on about how bad the public school systems are, how it shouldn’t be a surprise in this day and age with all the mass quittings and teacher’s strikes and school shootings that stuff like that happens.
And Bruce agreed. He still followed up with a few more schools just in case, but found nothing. Every single time he was actually connected through to someone, he got the same answer from a frazzled, checked out receptionist juggling his call with two other conversations and barking orders at kids to stop messing around and wait for their parents to come get them.
His training as Robin meant private tutors education wise (who he could easily circumnavigate by appealing to their elitist superiority complexes and emphasizing that he went to some shitty public school before this so obviously the system failed him until now.) So began the reading and the googling. Living in Wayne manor means unrestricted internet access (fine for a college aged guy like Dick… not so much for a feral 13 year old) and unrestricted access to the insane amount of dusty ass old books everywhere.
Jason Todd has a bizarre mix of nihilistic gratitude and bone deep I was so fucking screwed over towards his educational upbringing. Or lack thereof. And he doesn’t talk about it. He doesn’t tell anyone because he’s an adult now, what’s the point? Sure, it might make Bruce feel even shittier about himself, but it would be beating a dead horse by now. Besides, a part of him (the traumatized part) always lands back on “well you worked SO HARD to hide it from them, it’s not like you have the RIGHT to rub it in their faces now… you KIND OF did it to yourself :/” THERAPY IMMEDIATELYYYYY. Plus that whole mess started back before Bruce even knew he existed. So if he starts poking holes, people will pull threads that lead to a blatantly obvious truth he’d really rather just ignore or forget or move on from or “repress” or whatever.
How horrifyingly easy it is for a kid to just… disappear. Slip through the cracks. And how instinctive it is for that kid to cover it up as easily as they’d blink.
And you know what else?? You know who’s fucking PERFECT for him because of that. Homeschooled!reader. Unschooled!reader. All that jazz. If you were sick a lot growing up and couldn’t go to normal school, you’re perfect for him. Maybe your parents traveled all the time for work, maybe you lived in a really rural area. Maybe it’s some other thing I didn’t even specify. If you had a weird, different, non traditional educational history, you and Jason Todd are going to click on a cellular level without even realizing why.
You think he’s just the best boyfriend ever (for all the normal reasons but also) because he binge watches all those angsty teen high school drama shows you love so much. He gets INTO them. Like as much as you are. There’s something so cathartic about it for both of you, and it sort of feels like you get to experience what you missed out on together in a strange way.
He really doesn’t think he can get any more down bad for you until he makes some joke about how unrealistic something in the show is and you reply “probably. I mean, I wouldn’t know from experience.” like it’s no big deal. He doesn’t say anything about it, just pulls you a little closer and cuddles you like you’re his favorite teddy bear.
You have no idea what you just did, but without even trying to you gave Jason something that no one else has ever been able to give him in honesty.
Cannot and will not shut up about Wayne McCullough Jr.
I fucking LOVE this weird little freak so much it’s not even funny. He’s so goddamn babygirl. First of all I canNOT get over the fact that so many people throughout the course of the show call him pretty. Like it’s an objective fact. Not only that but Wayne for SURE thinks they’re being mean/sarcastic if he even processes when they say that at all (I genuinely think it just goes in one ear and out the other, he does not find that to be even slightly important to take note of) but obviously MULTIPLE PEOPLE aren’t going to call him pretty even as an insult for no reason. It’s true. He IS pretty. He’s so pretty because he’s all heart. Wayne and Jason Todd do a little handshake over the following things:
Doe eyed bbygirl with dark hair and extreme touch deprivation
Sense of justice that enters the room before they do
More or less black and white street justice approach to any wrongs they encounter in the world (but like… they’re not incorrect)
Tough talking bronx banana (or in this case Brockton/Gotham)
Abandonment issues
GORGEOUS
Human tank/shield that won’t hesitate to get their ass beat to protect someone
More than a little feral but we love em for that
Honestly I could go on I’m realizing it’s a much longer list than I realized. Also refuses to listen to authority figures if they go against their moral code.
ANYWAY one of my favorite things about Wayne is that he has NO experience with women or dating or having a partner in any way shape or form regardless of their gender. He has ZERO boyfriend experience and off the charts boyfriend instincts is what I’m getting at. I was reflecting on this last night when I was supposed to be asleep (bc duh) and this popped into my head and made me laugh so hard I woke up and had to text it to my sibling so I didn’t forget.
You and Wayne are crashing in some dingy motel room on your way to Florida to get his dad’s car back. You’re not far south enough from Massachusetts for it to start warming up yet, but it’s not fully snowing either. It’s that horrible, bone chilling, frigid rain that cuts you to the quick and makes it feel impossible to warm up. Thank god for the hooker that agreed to get you a room for the night so you wouldn’t be tracked (Charmese is the real mvp) but surprise surprise! You wanna guess how many beds there are?
NOT TWO!
Wayne being the angel baby he is, is already dragging an extra blanket onto the floor so you can take the bed. After bickering for a while you have to pull the “pretty please? I’m gonna sleep a lot better if you’re here with me 🥺” and he’s folding like a lawn chair.
Poor thing is stiff as a board, no idea what to do with his hands or arms, no idea if he should be looking at you this much but he really can’t stop staring because you set off every half functional scrap of serotonin in his brain. You take his hands in yours, holding them until they warm up, and you have no idea how they weren’t frozen solid. You roll yourself over so you can face him too and after some drowsy pillow talk, you’re both starting to warm up a little more - at least enough to sleep. And honestly you still can’t believe how respectful he is, how you literally INSISTED on sleeping in the same bed with him, alone in a motel room, and trying to make a move on you hasn’t even crossed his mind once. It’s like he doesn’t know that’s an option, despite how eager he was (and still is) to be your boyfriend. So you lean over and press a kiss to his cheek.
“G’night, Wayne.” You mumble softly. You hear his breath hitch, and you feel him smiling before your mouth even leaves his cheek. You settle down to try to sleep when you feel his hand on your… nose?
You open your eyes, and see him staring at you before he gets shy and looks away, but he keeps his hand there on your face. Your breath tickles his palm as you laugh softly.
“Um…” You start to ask, and it’s only then that he realizes that this is… probably kind of a weird thing to do. But he doesn’t move his hand either. He blinks once or twice before he answers, his voice low and husky and softer than usual.
“Your nose is cold.”
It hits you like a bag of nickels to the crotch that he felt the cold tip of your nose press into his cheek when you kissed him, and his instinct was WARM THIS BITCH UP. It’s the weirdest, sweetest, most bizarre and loving thing anyone’s ever done for you. You look at him for another moment and his stomach flips with panic, wondering if he somehow fucked this up.
“Thanks.” You say, holding his hand and tugging it away from your nose to press a peck to his palm. You fall asleep like that, holding his hand with both of yours, and Wayne manages to stay awake until he physically can’t just to look at you a little longer.
