Being born into a regular world is something no one will experience twice- but it is true, everyone has an opinion on their own birth. Some people go through life wishing it had never happened, others are grateful. Every single person in some way wishes they could change something about their life, because no one is ever truly happy.
(Y/n) grew up completely disregarding the idea of her own creation. Instead, she just enjoyed life in the present. But as age set in, it began to get harder. Fears of judgement, loneliness, loss, and failure plagued her mind. Growing up began to scare her endlessly, but what caused her the most fear? The poor girl couldn't remember where all her worries were stemming from.
Of course, she had an idea. It was so faint, that she could sit for hours and not remember it. So, finally, she made it her mission. She was either going to do her best to drop those ridiculous (yet valid, she reasoned) fears, or she was going to hunt down the source of them.
Naturally, she chose to try and drop them. It appeared to require less effort, after all.
Plus, she had a very good teacher. The Doctor was always quick to lift her to the tips of her toes and make her dance to forget.
Lately, however, the Doctor seemed to pull back. Naturally, (Y/n) noticed. Practically turning it into a spy mission, she followed him around the TARDIS. Every move seemed suspicious- until finally the Doctor seemed to drop a surprise.
"(Y/n)-" He screeched, bolting out of a doorway, something clutched in his hand. Almost immediately, he slammed into her, throwing himself and his companion to the floor. She squeaked, realising she had been busted.
The Doctor threw himself onto his back, juggling something between his large, clumsy hands in an attempt to keep it from hitting the floor. However, in his attempt, a crack echoed down the halls of the TARDIS. The Doctor whined and groaned, holding up what looked to be a little handle.
"Doctor, I'm sorry-" She began to apologise, but cut herself off. He sat up quickly, fumbling around in his jacket for his screwdriver before whipping it out.
With a grin, he exclaimed, "It's alright! I can fix it!" Peaking over his shoulder, (Y/n) caught sight of a beautifully decorated tea cup, the handle in the Doctor's second hand. However, just as she began to marvel over the gorgeous design, it slipped from the Doctor's grasp and smacked to the floor. The sound of glass shattering against a metal floor caused the two knuckleheads to flinch, before the Doctor let out a defeated sigh.
Gazing down at the completely busted teacup, he mumbled, "I don't think I can fix it now. Or- well, I can. I wouldn't do a very good job, though."
"It's alright," (Y/n) sighed with him, putting a hand to his shoulder. "What was it for, anyway?"
A soft, quiet whine left the Doctor's lips, and he crossed his arms and glanced over his shoulder at her. The ridiculous pout resting on his face almost caused her to giggle. Quickly, however, she smothered it with a curious hum.
After a few seconds, the Doctor gave in and answered her, "It was supposed to be a present for you. After you told me you collected them, I knew-"
"Is that why you've been so sneaky?" (Y/n) immediately asked, not allowing him to finish his explanation. Pursing his lips, he nodded curtly before looking back at the shattered remains.
Quietly, they both gazed down at it, before the girl began to gently massage his shoulders in an attempt to calm him down.
"Did it have a story behind it?" She asked quietly, continuing to rub his upper back.
With a heavy moan, the Doctor nodded, whispering limply, "After I rescued China from a giant, man-eating moth- a little girl approached me. She gave me the teacup. Had such a bright smile on her face when I took it, that little one."
A soft grin took over his face at the memory, "I didn't have much use for it, though. Figured you would put it to good work. Take care of it, and all that."
"That's sweet," (Y/n) mumbled quietly, leaning against his back. "I really don't need any more teacups, though. I'm hardly ever home, anyways."
Shrugging, the Doctor replied, "Yes, well, I knew you would like it. You're only saying that because I broke it."
"Doctor," She groaned softly, rolling her eyes at him. "Really, I don't need a gift."
Reaching up to tug his own ear, he sat in silence. His ears were burning red, blushing along with the rest of his face.
Finally seeming to make up his mind, he muttered, "Yes, well, I wanted to give you something. Because I'm grateful you're here with me." A quiet, joyous laugh left (Y/n)'s lips. She watched his ears turn an even brighter red, and giggled as she grabbed his arms and attempted to turn him around.
"You don't have to give me anything to express that. Well, except a hug is always acceptable. But, you could just tell me," His companion chuckled, fixing his bowtie for him.
Sniffling, he nodded before faintly admitting, "It's harder than it looks, you know."
A smile on her face, (Y/n) leaned forward and pecked his nose, "I know."
Switching between playing with his hair and bowtie, the girl watched as the Doctor's red face gradually simmered down. A confident glint seemed to appear in his eyes, and with no warning he reached forward and grabbed her tenderly. Chuckling at her squeak, he lifted the both of them to their feet before patting off his pants and grinning.
"Well, I still want to give you something. And, I know the best places to pick out the more beautiful teacups," He stated, not really giving (Y/n) an option before grabbing her hand and tugging her towards the TARDIS console. Completely disregarding the shattered teacup on the floor, he excitedly pulled his companion along, imagining the great smile that would take over her face when they arrived at the destination in his mind.
She absolutely hated it. Her talent- her super power- it was utterly useless. It made her feel horrible, owning it felt like there was a constant black pit swallowing her whole. It messed with her mind and actions daily, prevented her from tasks and chores.
She had the power to get in everyone's way. No matter what she did, no matter how she tried to help or how she tried to stay out of the way- it was no use. She tried to steer clear of them, tried to offer distant help or just tried to run away but she always found herself an obstacle in everyone's path.
(Y/n) never meant to- she at least tried her best to help. She had started to grow used to it, if anything. But the thing that hurt the most, the thing she would never grow accustomed to: when people always assumed she wasn't trying.
Today, it seemed the Doctor had enough of her. Once again, she had got in his way. She wasn't fast enough to move herself to where she needed to be- and it almost cost a little girl her life. The Doctor had snapped, and shoved her to the side.
She couldn't remember what he had said- all she knew was that it was enough to make her cry. Quickly, (Y/n) removed herself from the situation, ran down the halls of the TARDIS and barreled into a seemingly empty room. Her body crumpled to the ground, weakly. It had taken several minutes before the tears finally worked their way through her emotional wall.
Once the tears had begun to fall, she shut the door with a slam, and begged the TARDIS to keep it locked. Shaking arms dragged her to the darkest corner of the room, where she grabbed her hair and pulled as she cried out in frustration towards herself.
Hours passed before (Y/n) finally calmed down, cheeks red and puffy, lips swollen. Dead (e/c) eyes, and a wet collar- she banged her head on the wall and felt utterly empty.
In that moment, she made a decision for the Doctor's safety, and anyone who needed him. She made up her mind- she was going to make him take her home.
The silence of the room seemed to comfort her, and the darkness cradled her as she rolled herself into a tight ball on the floor. Her mind was almost completely empty, and she was unable to focus on anything that remained.
When the TARDIS had begun to jostle her about, she whimpered, before she stood on shaky legs. The Doctor was going to be angry with her for disappearing- she could practically feel the rage pulsing from the console room as she slowly shuffled down the halls. She stopped at her room on the way, grabbed her jacket and slowly put it on before she tugged the sleeves down to cover her trembling hands.
It didn't take long for the Doctor to realize (Y/n) was there. He hadn't even been facing her, when she saw his hands tighten around the console's edge. His knuckles turned white, and she gulped as his deceitfully calm voice spoke.
"Where were you?" He asked at first. "I looked for you- hours I spent searching for you. You didn't even tell me you were going- I thought something had happened to you." His voice began to quake, and she swore she could hear him grit his teeth.
He hadn't even turned around yet, but she still gazed at the ground in shame as he continued, "The little girl- her name was Lilac. She wanted to thank you- my reaction scared her when I realized you had disappeared. In the midst of a situation like that- I could have needed your help. But then you went and ran off- one of the locals had to tell me they had seen you disappear into the TARDIS."
Finally, he lifted his hand and turned, to point at her with an accusing finger, "Why did you leave? It was the-" He froze, suddenly, and stared at (Y/n). She heard his hand drop to his side limply, and heard his sigh of regret.
She still hadn't looked up at him- or she would have seen how his eyes softened, and as he moved towards her, she stumbled away from him. He stopped immediately, confused. It took him a moment to realize he had previously been scolding her- his whole mind had stopped upon seeing her shaky form.
"You were crying?" Quietly, he asked. Her soft nod carried him towards her, and he didn't let her escape from him a second time as he gently grabbed her wrists.
"Did I upset you?" This time, he didn't wait for an answer, before he rushed to explain himself. "I didn't mean it- what I said. I can't even remember why I had snapped at you- I apologize." (Y/n) couldn't meet his eyes or reply as she processed what he told her. But, nothing had changed her mind, not even his gentle, comforting smile as she forced her dead eyes to meet his.
He was about to pull her into a hug- but she quickly stopped him by prying his hands from her wrists and taking a step back, "Take me home." The voice that spoke was barely a shadow of her real voice.
The Doctor's hearts sunk at her words. He never imagined taking (Y/n) home- never imagined she would want to leave him. An image had been built in his head, he always imagined she would always be with him through thick and thin. But- that picture was mere glass, and it shattered as soon as it reached the ground.
The shine in his eyes seemed to plummet as he stared at her emotionless face. A pain began to grow in his chest, and he couldn't help but reach out and grab one of her hands. He brought it up to his lips, before resting it on his cheek, holding it in place as her fingers tensed.
He caught sight of her eyes widening, and a splinter of hope seemed to lodge itself in the tip of his finger, "Are you sure?" His voice was quiet, almost broken as his eyes flickered between hers.
She hesitated, and glanced away, "I was. I think I still am." Her words left him a small hint- he could still convince (Y/n) to stay with him. But he was scared to push her. His brows furrowed as he tried to think of a way he could ever-so gently convince her to stay.
"Why?" He asked at first, before posing his full question. "What makes you want to leave?"
She bit her lip, gaze suddenly glued to the floor. A moment of silence passed before she was able to steel herself to answer his question. Confessing her uselessness to him- meant admitting it to herself.
"Because- I'm only ever in your way. I only ever halt you from what you should be doing," She explained. "I'm not like your other companions- you said it yourself long ago. I'm not clever, like a companion of yours needs to be."
It took a moment for it to click in his head- she had convinced herself she was useless to him. He didn't know whether to feel angry or pity her. Reacting either way seemed like it would hurt her- he was at a loss.
She watched his mouth open and close as he tried to find ways to convince her otherwise. She felt that pit open up inside of her as she watched him, using his silence to confirm her worst fear- the Doctor had no use for her.
"Just- take me home. Please," She seemed to beg, and her eyes dropped to the floor as she attempted to rip her hand from his cheek. However, he kept a tight grip and pulled her close to him, and instead wrapped his arms around her body and pressed his forehead to hers.
"I don't want you to be like my other companions," He began, his hand raising to her head to keep her forehead firmly against his as he tangled his fingers in her (h/c) hair. "I like you just the way you are. And it's my fault- instead of encouraging you to get better, instead of teaching you how to do the things I expect of you... I've just stood and watched. I've grown frustrated with you, not realizing you had enough frustration for yourself.
"I'll teach you. I promise, but you have to stay with me," It was his turn to beg, and he pulled his head away from hers to gently kiss her forehead and whisper into her hair. "Please. I can't explain it to you- but after being with you for so long- having shared so many adventures with you- I can't imagine not having you there to encourage me to continue."
"Doctor," She whimpered, if he continued she knew she wasn't going to be able to leave him. There was a part of her that thought it was best to go- but another portion of her never wanted to leave his side.
"Please. I can't be on my own again," He whispered as his grip gently tightened on her. "I won't be able to get over you- not for hundreds of years."
Finally, she quietly mumbled what he wanted to hear: "Fine." Her voice was soft, as if she thought she was going to regret making that decision, but when his face had burst into a bright, grateful smile- she knew there was no way she would truly be able to regret staying with him.
At that moment, he promised to take care of her; and she promised to stay with him, to support him anyway she can.
