Demeter: More Than Just An Overbearing Mother
So, I don't know what's up with this new trend of Demeter being portrayed as an overbearing, overprotective helicopter mom, and nothing else. I suppose in a way I see how it happened—the rape of Persephone is one of the more pervasive myths that essentially everybody knows, and with more modern retellings, they like to cast Demeter as the bad guy, rather than acknowledging ancient Greece was a different culture, that myths aren't meant to be taken entirely seriously—that though they tell us a lot, they're primary purpose was worship and entertainment—and that there's no real "bad guy" to this story. And because it's a more popular myth, not much else is attributed to Demeter.
So this is going to be a really long post, debunking the popular beliefs about Demeter, and sort of bringing more of her actual character to light, with a special focus on the abduction of Persephone, as the modern world is really, ah, let's say ignorant, to the actual connotations of that story.
Demeter was an agricultural goddess, associated with grain and bread, which was a staple food for the ancient Greeks. She was also, by contrast, the goddess of starvation and hunger. So she could bless your drops to flourish, or your crops would fail and hunger would quickly follow. Because of this alone, she was majorly important to the Greeks, but it also wasn't her only role. Like many gods, Demeter was very multifaceted and held many different roles throughout Greek society.
Perhaps less importantly, due to the nature of wheat in ancient societies, Demeter also presided over fruits and vegetables, with only some exceptions. Olives, as those were Athena's; grapes, as Dionysos already presided over those; pomegranates, as those were sort of her daughter's thing; and beans, which for whatever reason, was seen as impure by the Greeks. She also had some association with flowers, especially with the fruit-bearing variety, but not enough for me to say that it's her "domain."
Porridge, another staple food, was also something she had dominion over, and it was used ritually in her Mysteries and cults across Greece.
Thoughout Greece, Demeter had been worshipped as "Law-Giver," or Thesmophoros, was regarded as the goddess who instructed mankind in law.
She also came to be associated with the Afterlife, as she apparently had taught the Mysteries how to get a good deal on the Afterlife through worship and rites. It's unknown what those rites were, but in case you're curious, I'll give you some advice—don't disrespect Persephone, ever.
Either way, Demeter was majorly important to the Greeks, who saw her as a stern, doughty woman, mature, but still quite beautiful, of course.
So, that's all well and good, but you probably already knew Demeter was an agricultural goddess, often associated and appropriated to Isis, and you haven't really learned anything to contradict your opinion of her, except that she was actually one of the most important goddesses there were.
So let's talk about her mythos and her personality for a bit. Who was Demeter, exactly?
She was among the six children of Kronos and Rhea, and is the second oldest child. After being released from Kronos, she was mostly fostered in by Okeanos and Tethys, along with Hera.
During the war of the giants, she most likely either bore a golden sword and a shield, which was an epithet of hers—the Lady of the Golden Sword—or a torch and spear. Either way, she was an active participant in the war against the giants.
So...the abduction of Persephone, her daughter. First, you need some background. And not just some, but a lot, because setting the stage is sort of important here.
So, before Persephone was born, or even conceived, according to most myth, Demeter was being pursued by Zeus. She transformed into a snake to hide, but that didn't work so well. So, that was Persephone's conception story. Not so fun.
Because of this, Demeter sort of wanted to protect her daughter, because the gods were very ravenous, to say the least. And she was right—in some myths, both Apollo and Hermes asked for Persephone's hand, which Demeter outright refused. However, there's not a ton of information on Persephone as a young goddess, so there's not a ton to go off of. We know Demeter trusted her around her sisters, Athena and Artemis, otherwise known as two-thirds of the maiden goddesses, and nymphs.
But, again, we don't know a lot of Persephone's childhood, or how Demeter mothered her. We just knew, that when Persephone was kidnapped, she was gathering flowers with Athena and Artemis. Only some myths say she was hidden away from other gods. It appears the really wasn't though, just that Demeter wasn't too keen on her getting married.
So Persephone's taken to the Underworld. Now what?
Well, firstly, Demeter had no idea what had happened to Persephone. The only people to witness her kidnapping, was Helios and Hekate. So when Demeter came to find her gone, she tore off her cloak and her head-covering, as was pretty customary for grieving in the ancient times, and immediately went looking for her. No one told her the truth of what happened, I imagine because they were afraid of her wrath, as Demeter was known to be a wrathful goddess in general. So for around ten days, she went searching for Persephone, and on the tenth, Hekate pointed her to Helios, who saw everything. We also learn here that seasons already existed and that Demeter was responsible for changing them.
Anyway, Helios told her what happened and that's when Demeter exiled herself, feeling incredibly betrayed and angry with Zeus, and completely grief-stricken.
Not because she thought Hades was unfitting or because she wasn't ready to let Persephone go—because no one, god or otherwise, except Hermes, could travel between realms, at the time, and Zeus had given Hades permission, which meant the marriage was valid, but Greek standards at the time, so there was no reason to get her. Essentially, Persephone died and Demeter would never see her beloved daughter again.
She became an old woman, and sat next to a well in Eleusis, and greived. When asked, she told people she came from Crete and had been kidnapped by pirates. Eventually, she became a nanny of sorts, caring for the King of Eleusis's son, as if he were her own, and fed him ambrosia and necter, in order to make him immortal. Long story short, it didn't work out because the mother ruined her process, and so, enraged, she left, but not before revealing her true form and cursing the woman.
The obvious message here is, she was trying to replace Persephone with a new child, to fill that void in her heart.
She continued to hide away in her temple in Eleusis for one year, causing a huge famine and many mortals would strange to death in this time, before Zeus sent Iris to go talk to Demeter. She told Iris she wouldn't do anything until she could see Persephone with her own two eyes.
So Hermes goes to get her, and she returns, though only after Hades promised she could return to the Underworld and be his queen, mind you.
It was decided she'd stay for one half of the year in the Underworld, fall and winter, and then in summer and spring with her mother.
(Also during her search for Persephone, she was pursued by Poseidon. That's not super important, but just so you know.)
In case it wasn't obvious, the whole myth is an allegory for a grieving mother after losing her child—not even just to death, though that's the more relevant take away in modern times, but in marriage, because a daughter essentially left her family when she got a husband, unless she was divorced. It's got three sides sides, that myth—a mother-daughter story, for Persephone, a coming-of-age and for Hades, a love story.
Obviously, there's a whole lot more about Demeter that I implore you to read, because she's honestly a really interesting goddess, but yeah. Here's my short summary of why she's more than an overbearing mom and why that interpretation really isn't all that accurate and why she deserves better.
