AHOY MAMMALS AND OTHERWISE!
This is my brain vomit public diary of self affirmations, intrusive thoughts, depression wallowing, doom scrolling, shitposting, occasionally cohesive thoughts, and postings of those more articulate and artistic than myself.
MidStatesQueerPanPolyAncom (in theory; in practice, I'm quite isolated purposely and see the same 10 people regularly, mostly my wife and kids, #Dadlife.) Monogamous and boring, I've no particular cultural or social self identity to speak of (group dynamics elude me) except pothead (I am high enough on the daily to comatose 2 other people with a low tolerance). There's so much vocabulary these days to help explain my experience, I'm struggling to navigate it all in between everything else.
Exploring the buffet of expression; working on living outside of my mind.
RBF grayrocking through life for basic social survival. Though blessed with vibrant internal worlds, often the Conductor of the Executive Bullet Train of Thought at Dissociation Station sends me where IT wants.
I resent being CIS and spicy whte presenting, so i've never been comfortable with how i'm perceived and expected to think and act. Socialization is a constant struggle. Always felt gender vague (THEY!? IT!? MAYBE? ANYTHING WORKS!) and not fully integrated into this meat suit (it has done well so far...🤞🏻). Portly, thiack, beardo, shorts or overalls erryday, I fool em all until the (heavy) mask comes off, even then, am I myself???
WHEN AM I NOT MYSELF?????
NO COLLARS, NOTHIN BUT OUR CHAINS.
Autist, 80HDeez, Altered consciousness enthusiASSt. Movies, Weather, Rocks, Sex , Drugs, Music, and Art are my longest running special interests.
I used to see a lot of live, local music, and play drums or bass guitar in many bands for most of my life; original, recreational, no touring, several recordings and countless local shows over the 30ish years, but a hobby at best.
This place and time has me growing into myself, a late bloomer indeed. Only been a few years that I've had the sort of love, space, and support to progress.
Stray dog energy, perpetually scabbed and dirty.
This means I revel in the slightest bit of positive attention or curiosity and get the YAP, and you get undying, annoying devotion.
I spend/t most of my waking life outside, worker robotnik, jack of all, good with my mitts.
I'd rather be light than meat, but whatevs, here we are.
*monotone chants ad infinitum*
Tags are pretty self-explanatory #sweaty is for mental health work, shadowsweat... #doin stuff is crafts and projects #LA TROKA is vehicle specific projects.
Periodically updated and revised.
