Ham Sandwich || Self-Para
Jordan sat in the back of the club, on a questionable couch wearing questionable clothes. He was covered in glitter and women’s perfume, and all he could think about was one woman. The only woman that had ever mattered to him. In front of him laid five lines, two of them he’s already snorted through a twenty he pulled from his g-string. In his bag was the sandwich Maggie had made for him, and he wasn’t sure what to do with it.
Eating it would feel almost too intimate. She’d made it specifically for him. Not because he asked. Not because he had said he was hungry. But because she was worried for him. She cared so much about him, knowing how much he’d hurt her, and she still wanted to make sure he had something to eat tonight.
What was it about this woman who cared so much for him? Why couldn’t he just forget about her? Why couldn’t he just let her care for him and let her stay doing whatever it was that she did? Why wasn’t it so easy to just leave her alone?
Jordan knew there weren’t many people who cared about him. Jordan knew that almost no one cared about him. He wasn’t nice to guys and he didn’t talk to girls unless they were getting naked. He wasn’t a good person, and he knew he didn’t deserve someone has good as Maggie. But there she was. Loving him anyway. Loving him and caring for him and worrying about him. No one had ever worried about him.
He took the sandwich out of his bag and unwrapped it. It was even cut the way he liked it. She was such a mom. Everything about her just screamed mom, and as weird as it was...It made him like her even more.
It made him love her more.
He didn’t like to admit it and it only came up when he was alone and high and his emotions got the best of him, like now. But he loved her. He was in love with her. Always had been. And because he loved her, he knew he had to pretend that he didn’t. If Maggie knew he felt the same for her as he knew she felt for him...She’d let him ruin her life.
He took a bite of the sandwich and smiled. It tasted like home. Pulling out his phone, he decided to text her, even though it was late.
“Thanks for the sandwich, Mags. Sleep well.”