#domestically challenged

[sexatoxbridge]

When I ask someone what their food room is

[vexedwisecracker]

I'm all for the "someday my prince will come" fairy tale ending, but I'd totally settle for the first act where woodland creatures clean my house and make me a new wardrobe.

[littlelg]

We chose you and your blog Lauren, because we have enjoyed reading your recipes, entertaining tips and general wisdom.

A press pitch sent to my tumblr email address by someone who has clearly never actually read my tumblr.

[vatc33]

We Are Conditioned.

Last week I wrote about “cutting corners.” All week I have been thinking about that personality trait I had. It has inspired me to try new things. Mr. Bird has been patient with this new trend of mine. Yesterday I felt particularity apt to trying something new in the kitchen. During #clotts last date night we spotted a Zupasand decided it would be better to go into debt then pass this up (just…

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[vatc33]

I Know Everthing

I Know Everything... Here are some experiences from the first month of marriage!

The other day one of my dear friends posted as his Facebook status: “I love when my friends get married or have a kid and immediately they know everything there is to life! Seriously I love it it’s hilarious!!!” Don’t worry this blog post is not defending the idea that when you get married you know everything… Honestly, I think it is quite the opposite. I would gladly accept a virtual slap across…

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[ashleigh-who]

My Enemy, The Stove

Or "Why I am happy to live in the 21st century and my domestic skills are in no way correlated with my husband-finding skills, although those leave somewhat to be desired also."

As I write this, I am also sitting here eating a bowl of what can only be described as the most bland meal to ever grace the Earth. Some sort of unidentifiable meat soaked in soy sauce on top of plain pasta. Mmm mmm. Reminds me of my flatting days.

As a naturally intelligent person, I often get frustrated when I find a puzzle I can't solve. In my case, numbers, men, and cooking are my three biggest head-scratchers. Many people have told me that "practice makes perfect" which everyone knows is total bullshit, especially in the last two instances. I hate not being good at things, which is surprising because I grew up in such a sheltered environment that I am actually unable to function like a normal person and have to rely on my (questionable) charm to get by in the real world.

Cooking has always been the bane of my life (and by "always" I mean "since I left home and I didn't have my parents to do it for me"). I spent a year trying to wrap my head around the intricacies of turning a stove on to the optimum not-burning-everything temperature, but no matter how hard I tried, I never got any better at it. Even now, making my "Crap a l'Orange", I couldn't remember whether you put the pasta or the water into the pot first.

I figure it's better to make fun of my inadequacies rather than complain about them, so a lot of the time when the subject of cooking comes up (a lot more often than I'd care for), I'll brag about my lack of skillz in the kitchen and hope that people think I'm exaggerating. Then I'll say something about "making up for it in other rooms of the house, wink wink" so that they then think I have a love life, and I have successfully killed two birds with one stone. Mission accomplished.

I'm now seriously reconsidering my decision to flat again this year. Someone save me from my domestically-challenged self.