September 16, 2009
I hope Lady Gaga donates her old costumes to homeless shelters. Because that would be hilarious. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 111
The Kindle version of Dan Brown's new book is outselling the hard copy on Amazon. Meaning nobody wants to be seen reading it. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 106
This is NOT the America I grew up in. Seriously, where am I. I woke up cuffed to a panther. Everyone's speaking in clicks. @fireland (Joshua Allen) – 104
Kanye West was a lot nicer before that house fell on Kanye East. @donchiefnerd (Don Henry) – 96
"Fucking Radio Shack. It's a wonder they even know how to use a bathroom and don't just walk around all day with shit in their pants." @shitmydadsays (Justin) – 93
Writer's Block = First Word Problem. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 79
You're mad he left $1 but didn't take the tooth? Well maybe the tooth fairy has a stressful job and doesn't need this kind of grief at home. @CranberryPerson (N/A) – 78
Do lesbians think about softball during sex? @pagecrusher (Simon Goetz) – 70
You down with ADHD? Yeah, you know-- Look, a fire truck! @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 70
Early bird gets the existential dread. @lonelysandwich (Adam Lisagor) – 68
I used to smoke after sex, but I've learned to slow down. @blondediva11 (blondediva11) – 67
The problem with not puttting all your eggs in one basket is carrying all these fucking baskets. @awryone (Josh Donoghue) – 66
If you say your product was voted "Best Of" and you don't say by whom, I assume it's your mom. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 64
I can't believe Kanye was walking around with an open bottle of Hennessy. Now it looks like I'm copying him. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 63
Not a drop of caffeine today. Yay. Clap for me. I said clap for me asshole. @lukeinvan (Vancouver's Luke) – 62
The Reno police are surprisingly okay with curiousity killings. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 57
After 30 days of being trapped inside of a hospital, efforts to dig our way out with a tongue depressor have been futile. @thedayhascome (Josh Hopkins) – 55
Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% trying to remember if maybe you read it in the Onion yesterday. @joeschmitt (Joe Schmitt) – 55
Once a night a crying urine covered human knocks on my door asking to please sleep with me. Its like College Freshman year all over again. @ruthakers (ruthakers) – 54
Imagine how much better Facebook would be if I didn't hate all of you. @roughdiction (RoughDiction) – 53
