this is the decision you made, and he is the person you chose, so you’re just going to stick with him. you both have your problems, but this is your life and you’re going to live it.
based on mitski’s me and my husband
word count: 1.2k
genre: angst? married au, implied female reader
warning/s: abusive relationship w/ john
a/n: I literally can’t stop singing this song so im making a fic out of it, also hello to my 15 wips lmao, also i am no way describing the person himself, this is a work of fiction, johnny is the biggest sweetheart I know
also big thanks to @splootdoolies for being a wonderful beta reader <33 luv u, check them out, they’re an amazing artist
Loud ticking from the dainty cream clock in the corner covered the room like a blanket. The sound not blearing into the ears, simply passing by like it wasn’t even there. Sunlight peered into the slits of the blinds, landing onto both of your seated figures. Taeyong sat straight, his collars pressed neatly into place. He looked professional, sleek, and cold. But his eyes held warmth, something he always had when it came to you.
After a quick swipe of tongue over his lower lip, he spoke. "How are you?". Quick, modest, and easy; all of his questions were like that. No beating around the bush, no underlying message or figure of speech. It was direct to the point.
How were you?
Finally, the light is pointed towards you. Seated across him, hands folded in place, legs crossed, leaning into the smooth couch he provided. In contrast to Taeyong’s suit and tie, you wore a dress with a light shade of yellow. Blinding for Taeyong, for you looked too glad, too fake. You pursed your lips, tilting your head for effect.
"The world is too big for us to live in; too much space to fill for a simple woman. There is a whole of the unknown, just waiting to be discovered. We are but insignificant, a tiny speck in the universe with a life to match. Sometimes I feel as if I'm doing something wrong by simply breathing." The latter part of your words came as a whisper, floating over to the man's ears.
"The air we breathe is of no one's property, miss (y/n). You are free to do as you wish, it is your life to live."
His steady breaths linger in his words, wanting to somehow communicate with you, to match with how you were. A sigh and now he's chewing on the insides of his mouth. You glance behind him, the small items in the room. It was best for people in his job description to have a welcoming workspace. A soft palette of colors instead of bright shades that took your attention.
Smoothening your skirt, you continue. "Johnny, well, Johnny was--". You cleared your throat, and Taeyong's hand quickly jots down on the paper he held.
"Well, in high school, he was such an athlete, still is. Used to be busy after class for practice, and that's how we met. I fell in love with him after seeing how immersed he was in the sport, ironic, due to how unfit I was.
He was never one to brag or be arrogant, but he liked to keep things with himself. I used to remember having to comfort him whenever he furrowed his brows, he liked to do it when something wasn’t right.” Your fondness didn’t go unnoticed by him, his own shoulders relaxing as he matched the small smile you had on your face.
You were truly the only thing that made Taeyong feel this way. An overflowing amount of affection that had him addicted to your meetings. He wished for more time, an excuse, dinner maybe, just something for you to see him as a man. His thoughts put on pause, his attention now on your fiddling fingers.
“And then, we got married. The love of my life, I was overjoyed. Nothing could ever compare to what I felt when I walked down the aisle and saw Johnny with that stupid grin of his. Of course, as you know, the happiness was short-lived. After a few months, he changed, for the worse. And the rest, history.” Your voice was soft, something Taeyong noticed from the first day. It was usual with women with a history of abuse, always feeling small and insignificant.
He would never treat you that way.
He shook his head lightly, dismissing all incompetent thoughts from his head. He knew history. He knew how your husband would beat you senseless at night, only to apologize the next morning, claiming it was unintentional. Taeyong had his own anger, yes, but towards your spouse. Your mention of his past affiliation with sport only added fuel to the fire. You were so precious, until Mr. Suh decided you weren’t. Reasoning with love and stress from work, you let him do as he wanted. Too good for your own sake, you forgave his actions, day after day. Until finally, your mother noticed. Taeyong knew history, alright. How Johnny had supposedly changed after months without you. So here you were, with a psychiatrist to heal the mental wounds.
“It’s history, Mr. Lee. I’m a wife, and after all, it has been always just him and me together. It was us against the world. I felt so senseless, so out of place in my own life.” Your hands trembled slightly, watching the man write seamlessly from what you said. “I may take up space in this world, but when he walks in, I am loved. I feel loved. So I’m betting all I have on his furrowed brow, and at least in this lifetime, we’re sticking together.”
The soft thud made you look up, Taeyong had an unreadable expression before he apologized and picked up the fallen pen. “Miss (y/n), are you sure about your decision?”.
He wanted you to say no, to ask him to help you leave whatever relationship you had left with your abuser. Conflict arose within him; professionalism, or humanity. And for whatever reason, he glanced towards your powdered neck and the small spots that peeked under the hem of your skirt. Your chuckle leads his eyes back on your face, suddenly realizing how hollow your cheeks looked, with the addition of dark circles. “Mr. Lee, you don’t seem to understand. Me and my husband, we are doing better.”
His lips curved down, but before he could even reply, a sharp knock cut your conversation. Both your heads turned to the door and a mop of blonde hair entered. “(y/n), you know we have a dinner reservation, right? We can't afford to be late.” Johnny’s voice was lower than Taeyong’s, he looked taller, bulkier even. Everything he had done to you must have extremely hurt, coming from someone like him.
“Of course dear, I will be with you in a minute. I’ll just finish things up here.” Your sweet smile cuts through Taeyong like a knife, the realization of his unconditional feelings dawning over. And while you hadn’t seen it, Johnny had. The tall man walked closer to you, tugging at your arm to rise you up with ease. “Don’t worry, I’ll thank Mr. Lee here. You go on and wait in the car for me, okay?”. The grip he had made you nod immediately, muttering a quiet ‘thank you, see you next month’ at Taeyong before leaving the room.
His eyes were on the door where you had left, while Johnny’s were pinned right at Taeyong. “My wife is wonderful, isn’t she?”. Emphasizing on ‘wife’, he looked down on him, sizing him up like prey. “Miss (y/n) is pleasant.” He prayed he wouldn’t notice how shaky his voice was, or how his eyes flinched when he mentioned you. The ticking returns, but now it feels deafening, striking them with unfiltered tension.
“She must have mentioned our situation, and how we’ve decided to work things out.” Johnny accompanies the ticking, tapping his finger over the table. “I’ve also decided that (y/n) doesn’t need to do these ‘monthly check-ins’ anymore. She’s alright now, just fine.” Dread. Dread and grief runs through Taeyong as he registered what he said.
You’re stopping your sessions.
And as if Johnny noticed, he chuckled. “Good day to you, Mr. Lee.”
(( I appreciate each and every one of your beautiful faces. It’s surreal that literally anyone would think of me in this way, I just scribble, plop down words. I hope for the best and things happen. Thats how my mind works. Each and every one of your words has touched my heart and I feel truly blessed. I can’t thank you enough. I really can’t. I just hope you all know how much I ABSOLUTELY appreciate everything, even the smallest “Hello” you have all sent my way. ))
Does anyone else have a problem with Tumblr not showing posts marked with ‘Six the Musical’? It happens all the time to my posts, and I’m sick of it because it means I just end up reposting stuff until it FINALLY shows up.
Literally now I made a post complaining, it showed up in the ‘Six the Musical’ tag, but when I clicked edit, the post disappeared from ‘Six the Musical’
