#nct au

[hwaflms]

HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]

your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.

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[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader

[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au

[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)

[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!

[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33

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six months.

you haven't seen this door in six months.

it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.

your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.

or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.

the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.

pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.

more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.

finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.

"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.

now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-

"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"

if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.

standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.

jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).

his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.

apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.

everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.

while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?

"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"

you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.

you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.

c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-

"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.

jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-

"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"

you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.

he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.

"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."

you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.

he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.

the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"

"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."

✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧

the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.

jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.

the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.

he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.

"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.

"let's just get this over with."

with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.

within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."

you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."

your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.

you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."

"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.

jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.

while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".

"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.

somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.

you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.

you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.

you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.

she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.

he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"

"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.

sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."

once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"

you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.

it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.

you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.

finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".

wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."

"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."

in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.

"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"

you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.

of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.

the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.

snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.

jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.

you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.

while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"

he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."

it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.

he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."

"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"

realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"

"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"

"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.

by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."

you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.

the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.

"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"

your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.

after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.

jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.

you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.

hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.

"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.

"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"

you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."

jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.

"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.

this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.

you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.

it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.

at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"

she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."

little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".

"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.

your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."

the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.

"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."

you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."

with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."

you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."

as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"

it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.

the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.

you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.

your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.

you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.

"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.

"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."

he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.

he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."

if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."

your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"

smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.

but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.

you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.

"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"

he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”

you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.

"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.

you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.

you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.

any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.

upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.

"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.

she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.

"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"

this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.

the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.

the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.

your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.

you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.

you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.

she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."

she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.

when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"

oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".

"what do you mean, cutie?"

you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.

she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"

"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"

"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"

you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–

"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."

you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.

it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.

once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.

the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.

ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."

he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.

"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.

"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."

the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.

the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.

part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.

you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.

"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."

he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.

but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."

he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.

you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.

"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."

perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.

"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."

you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.

"jaehyun, i know, i just–"

"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"

there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.

"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."

the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.

the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.

you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.

"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."

that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.

"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.

"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair,"  it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."

he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."

"i know, jaehyun-"

"then, tell me."

you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.

"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."

your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.

"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.

"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.

"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."

his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.

the car moves so slow it may as well be still but  when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."

you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.

"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.

"what do you mean?"

"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."

you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."

he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.

he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."

you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.

it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."

your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.

"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."

it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."

like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."

"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"

he nods.

"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."

he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."

you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."

you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.

"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.

it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?

you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."

he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"

you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"

you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.

jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.

"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."

he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.

not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.

he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.

"so–"

"well–"

you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.

"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.

"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."

he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"

maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."

you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.

"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."

thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"

"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."

there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.

"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"

"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."

you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.

"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."

it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."

he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.

"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."

"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"

you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."

the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.

"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.

his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."

silence.

you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.

you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.

your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."

you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.

the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."

the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."

you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.

he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"

you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.

you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”

keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.

with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."

his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.

his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.

if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.

nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."

you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."

he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.

"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."

he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”

"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"

"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.

the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.

you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.

you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.

"i think i'd love to come in."

[haechsauce]

KICKS AND KISSES - L.HC

PAIRING: best friend! haechan x reader (feat. ex boyfriend! jaemin)

GENRE: best friends-to-lovers au, humor, fluff

SYNOPSIS: you kick donghyuck on the leg, he kicks you back. he teases you, you tease him back! and, yet, you two sit through a five-course meal with different reasons in mind. for him, it’s because you want to make jaemin jealous from across the room. for you, it’s because you want him to realize your ex has been right about you all along.

WARNINGS: veeery mild suggestive themes and cussing!

WC: 2.5k

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i’m crzy for our newly debuted soloist (>_<) i can't get haechan and his new music out of my mind, so i wrote this in my feels lol pls enjoy! it’s my first time to write a semi-make out scene, too ^_^ hope the imagery is all clear and cute only~

it might be normal for you and best friend! donghyuck to have one-on-one dinner together, but it’s annoyingly different when he knows your ex is around to see it. so, even if he’s down to help you get a reaction out of ex boyfriend! jaemin from two dining tables on your left, it takes a heavy sigh from your lips and a subtle kick to his shin for him to actually lock in.

“ow!” donghyuck’s leg jerks backwards, causing his upper body to lean towards the dining table. there’s an incredulous expression across his face—the dessert spoon midway through his lips a few seconds ago is now back in the open. “what, a man can’t enjoy his ice cream now?”

“not when he has to be my charming date!” you whisper-shout, watching your best friend recover (with a shake of his head) and continue eating his ice cream one spoon after another. “at least share it with me.”

“it’s mine.” with his mouth full and his hand restlessly digging into his dessert, donghyuck responds without having to look at you. “and, for the record, i don’t have to be charming when i already am.”

“to a plant, maybe.”

“you calling yourself a plant?”

you decide to ignore him. “just do it, hyuckie boo,” you say in a sing-song voice that makes donghyuck’s head shoot up, clearly grossed out at your tone. “if you don’t want me to keep calling you that.”

“well, say no more, baby.” he responds. before you can react to your sudden nickname, donghyuck is able to dodge it by shoving a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth. you almost choke by the act, which encourages him to sport the look of smug. “you like it?”

you’re violently coughing, almost like a broken smoke machine with the cool ice cream breeze coming out of your mouth. it sends you to the brink of tears, but you manage to shoot donghyuck a glare. “the nickname, the choking, or the ice cream?”

donghyuck continues your back-and-forth banter, but he paces his side of the humor by subtly moving your glass of water closer to you. “all of the above? they’re equally informative.”

it’s pretty safe to say that you’re seriously conflicted in wanting to hug your best friend for his subtle caring nature and wanting to strangle him for everything else that he is.

“well, the ice cream is good.” you say, as you put your glass back down and start grabbing your own spoon. as you dive into the sundae, you mutter, “dipshit.”

donghyuck allows himself time to divert his attention to his hands on the table and grin at your response—a habit of shyness that he hasn’t outgrown whenever he smiles.

once donghyuck looks at you again, he casually wipes the smudged cream off the corner of your lips with his thumb. “you baby. this is why you have me, isn’t it?”

you roll your eyes in response, but the pursing of your lips tells him you’re just stopping yourself from smiling. it leads you, however, to settling your gaze to someone specific on your left for the nth time during your whole five-course meal.

as he watches you, donghyuck wonders if your ex has looked at you at least once in your many attempts to be noticed. has jaemin seen that you’re on a date with him, your best friend ever since? has jaemin thought of coming over and crashing it? or have you been thinking of going over to him and professing your attempt at making him jealous?

maybe, worse, have you two been sharing a nonverbal moment all day long and donghyuck has just been an oblivious cockblock?

no matter these internal questions, donghyuck doesn’t mind whether or not he finds out the answers. instead, he uses the times you look away as an opportunity to study you with a mix of admiration and longing etched in his face—both only for you to keep missing.

he steals a quick glance at your lips now, then he licks his own before deciding to finally speak again. maybe it is time for him to take this date-for-show seriously. it’s designed to benefit you both, anyway—you earning the attention of your ex, and him getting to live his greatest what-if of being more than friends with you (even if it’s only for a few hours). “think we should kiss?”

your head whips back to your best friend. there’s a lot of uncertainty and a hint of intrigue battling to make up your face. “kiss—you and me? right now?” you blink multiple times in an attempt to absorb what he just asked. “hyuck, i—”

“i just think it’d be fair to give jaemin a red warning if you want him to do something,” donghyuck shrugs nonchalantly, as if his heart isn't beating faster in his chest or his hands aren’t shaking without the pressure of clutching them together on the table. “and to give you a distraction from checking if pretty boy’s looking. don’t you know i’ve been wanting to distract you with a kiss since our entrée?”

you’re so taken aback by your best friend’s boldness, that you have a hundred unspoken thoughts running in your mind. where to start, the fact that you don’t want jaemin to actually come over and ruin your date or that donghyuck didn’t even have to ask for him to kiss you?

because, frankly speaking, you’ve been wanting to be kissed by your best friend ever since your ex made you realize he’s the one you’re in love with.

what donghyuck doesn’t know is that you’ve only been looking at jaemin all day because you want your ex to see you happy with the very reason you broke up, all for the best intentions. you want jaemin to know that he’s been right all along—you do love donghyuck, so you’re thankful he let you go.

you’ve had a crush on the boy now sitting across you, dropping a suggestion that might finally change the trajectory of your friendship from here onwards, for quite some time already. how is he not getting a hint?

you almost stand from wanting to keep adjusting your sitting position, just to busy yourself from your newly-felt nerves. once you settle, you allow yourself to swing your legs under the table, accidentally throwing a kick at donghyuck’s shin again in the process.

“ow!” donghyuck crouches in his seat to reach over his throbbing leg. “kicking me again? what did i do?”

“holy shit, that was an accident!” you reason out, only to be distracted by the screech of a chair against the floor on your left. you see jaemin looking at you, his face giving away his internal debate of whether or not he should come over to help. “holy shit, he’s looking!”

now, that earns you a kick to your shin.

“ouch!” you shriek.

“i said stop checking!” donghyuck looks like he’s close to ripping his hair out, but while there’s a smile on his handsome face fighting hard to hide itself.

“you stop whatever your face is doing!” you laugh, feeling defeated in the chaos between you and your best friend as soon as you notice.

donghyuck plays it off by poking his inner cheek with his tongue at first, but he gives in and covers his face with his hands when he laughs with you.

now, it’s you that uses this time as an opportunity to secretly study him back with admiration all over your face. how could you have missed the tickling feeling in your stomach just by looking at him and hearing his laugh?

“hey,” you start, not wanting to waste any more time between the two of you. you swallow down your remaining giggles, in exchange for a mellow tone of your voice. “hyuck, i think i wanna—”

“your pretty boy’s still looking.” he cuts you off with a mumble. donghyuck now has his elbows work against the table, making his hands rest under his chin, while he undoubtedly looks at jaemin’s direction.

you shake your head like it can physically throw away the fact that jaemin is watching you and the idea that he’s your pretty boy. your eyes are stuck on the handsome one in front of you. “hyuck, i think i wanna kiss you, too.”

upon hearing this, donghyuck’s eyes instantly land back on you. he has the look of a person that suddenly has the world move in slow motion—there’s confusion and fascination coming together to make him look so intrigued from your words alone, too. “yeah?”

“yeah, but not because of jaemin or anything. who cares, really?” you purse your lips from talking too much. you want to keep it simple and direct to the point. “i just want to kiss you.”

donghyuck inhales through his mouth like he’s about to tell you a heavy thought, but decides against it. still, his face produces the slightest frown—not to doubt you, but to try to have a grasp on what you’re saying. he shifts in his seat, doing his utmost best not to seem too shaken about what you just said. “are we not here to make him jealous or do a look-what-you’re-missing type… of… thing…?”

“it’s more of a thanks-for-breaking-up-with-me type of thing, really.” you swallow hard, suddenly finding the table interesting to look at. “maybe it’s even a you’re-right-about-me-being-happier-with-hyuck type ’cause it’s true.”

“huh,” donghyuck is quite speechless at this point. he’s starting to believe he’s just gotten delusional about you because there’s no way you’re confessing that you like him back. “are you being serious or…?”

you nod, “i’m serious.”

holy shit, donghyuck thinks. is intimacy really about to happen between you two right now? he is so going to use this as an example of a time when you’re down bad for him. he didn’t think this time would ever come.

while he’s been well-aware that his name was heavily dropped by jaemin when he delivered his (honestly, quite outstanding) breakup speech to you a while back, donghyuck didn’t believe any of it was substantial or true. he’s always thought jaemin telling you that you had ‘unresolved’ feelings for your best friend was pure bullshit. yet, here you are now proving him wrong and actually proving your ex right.

“you’re serious.” donghyuck repeats, crossing his arms and squinting his eyes. “you do just want to kiss me.”

“sure,” you respond, close to running out of patience for your dumb best friend. you eye him and the space beside you to (hopefully) give him a hint that he really should get up from his seat now. “so…”

“so…” he continues. donghyuck still feels the need to play it safe, despite being given the clearest of signs from you, just in case he’s gotten it all wrong. “should i move closer to you?”

“yes, you charming dumbass.”

“wow. what happened to not admitting i’m charming?” donghyuck asks like he wants a playful argument with you, but he also stands right away to move his seat right next to yours.

now, there’s an appropriate amount of space between you two—big enough for lovers, but small enough for friends. it’s as if he might freeze and ruin this feverish reality if he gets even closer, like he’s not the same boy who had just kicked your shin or swiped his finger over your lips. “is this okay?”

you angle your body to face his. your knee brushes against his. “mhm.”

in return, donghyuck slowly closes the gap between you two by pressing his forehead against yours. he keeps his eyes on your lips, though. “you know, i didn’t think you liked kissing in public.”

“it’s with you, so…” you trail off.

his head voluntarily tilts to the perfect angle. “i’m an exception?”

you sigh, tilting your head to the opposite direction a bit to make your lips an inch closer to his. “please shut up.”

donghyuck doesn’t shut up yet, but he does start cupping your cheeks. “you like it ’cause it’s with me.”

you close your eyes to his touch. “please shut up and just kiss m—”

the next thing you know, you finally feel his lips on yours and it’s everything you had hoped it’d feel—warm, soft, and just right. it’s an innocent kiss, yet it’s pressed hard against your lips, like it’s trying to etch itself onto your skin so you don’t forget the first time this collision is happening.

when donghyuck pulls away slowly, producing a low ‘pop!’ sound while he’s at it, he takes his sweet time looking at your lips. “how was that?”

it’s sweet and just so right, you think.

but, you bite your lower lip to refrain from answering him like this. you decide to tease your best friend with dissatisfaction. “it was barely there.”

donghyuck frowns in disbelief, but his fingers at the tip of your chin remain to keep the closeness of your faces. “barely there?”

“yeah,” you don’t fight the shy smile on your face as you nod, like you’re trying to prove a point that you don’t even believe.

donghyuck picks it up right away, leading him to being too weak to also hide his smile. his mind is already a step ahead of the kiss you just shared. “shit, my bad.”

“maybe do it again?” you ask absentmindedly.

“i’ll do it again.” he whispers back.

not a second after, donghyuck’s lips crash onto yours without hesitation anymore, making you whimper. it translates to an open-mouthed kiss by the moment he softly tugs your bottom lip with his teeth and you grant him access. donghyuck kisses and holds you like he’s trying to hypnotize you—his tongue has no hesitation to explore you and one of his hands trails down to the nape of your neck, gently pulling your head to be a bit more against his.

you grip his wrists in desperation for more contact, even when he pulls away to kiss your cheek and whisper to your skin. “you don’t know how long i’ve wanted to do this.”

“how long?” you ask teasingly. you try to chase the feeling of donghyuck’s lips on yours, re-angling your head to meet his lips again.

“well, every time you’re single.” a peck is all it takes for donghyuck to be too dazed to realize you’re just teasing. he licks his lips to hide his lovesick smile that his eyes give away. “i might be your best friend, but i still have the biggest crush on you.”

you pull on his wrists to bring him in for a deeper kiss—also urging his fingers to get tangled with your hair. he lets you take the lead, allowing you to open his mouth with your tongue this time.

you quickly top it off with another peck before you say, “i have the biggest crush on you, too.”

donghyuck only playfully scoffs at this, still in a trance that stops his brain from forming an actual response. he brings his lips back to yours with confidence—truly, completely, and finally meeting you on the same page.

(at the nearby table on your left, jaemin settles back into his seat, but continues to crane his neck to see you and donghyuck. he exhales from his mouth in contentment, shaking his head to himself. “true love right there.”)

[4doras]

GIRLFRIEND TREATMENT ⋮ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔.

⌗ ꒰ 𝓯ujinaga 𝓼akuya x f.reader ꒱ ❤︎ 0.3k, fluff, est. relationship, idol!sakuya, mua!reader, just saku being annoying 😭

⌗ being your boyfriend’s makeup artists had it’s perks, but definitely had it’s downsides too ࿔*:･ﾟ

메시지: short BUT!! quality over quantity riiiight 😄i loooved saku’s otl looks i had to do something 

“saku.” your voice whisper-yelled, slowly getting more irritated with your boyfriend. “quit. moving.” you’d been trying attempting to finish up his makeup, but with him squirming around and fake coughing or sneezing, it was impossible. “you go on stage soon, i have to wrap this up now!” you threw your head back in annoyance, letting out a sharp exhale. 

“okay, okay.” he giggled, a toothy smile plastered across his face. “i promise i’ll stop.” 

taking his word, you resumed working, blending out the blush you powdered on his cheeks. for the next few minutes, you worked without any interruption, finally able to do your job at peace. 

until. 

just as you swiped lip tint on, he suddenly pouted his lips out at you. a stupid(ly cute) kissy-faced sakuya looking back at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes knowing that he’d just riled you up again. 

“babe!” you groaned out in anger, eyebrows knitting together. “seriously, you wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t me.” you sulked, firmly holding his face in place now. 

“mmm,” he hummed, waiting for you to be done. “don’t you feel special though? like, you’re the only one who gets this treatment.” he shut his eyes as you sprayed fixing spray over his face, slightly frowning as you did. “do you not?” 

“it’s annoying, saku.” a thick sigh escaped your lips as you adjusted the strands of hair that fell out of place. “you’re annoying.” you gently punched his chest, rolling your eyes at him. 

“whatever, cutie.” he pinched your cheeks, a smile growing back on his face. “you better get used to it.” 

perm taglist. @jellyouse @gyubvlin @blushnboba @jellywichu @yesongi @sionsdihrider @ivehan @yumimeimi (open!) 

nct wish taglist. @voucearse @strawikus @alveribo (open!) 

[222low]

nct 127 hand placement (i love your writing! <3)

nct 127 + hand placement .☘︎ ݁˖

127 scenario on where they put their hands

content: fluff, handsy (?), not proofread (lmk if u find any mistakes!), gn reader

johnny

waist. would def want to make you feel secure, especially when you're with him. if he can't keep you close to him with his arm fully around your waist, he'd at LEAST make sure it was on your lower back. he wants to give you the reassurance that he's always there and not gonna let go, which also gives off confidence.

taeyong

palm to palm. your hands would fit perfectly together, like a puzzle piece. i would say taeyong would have a more extravagant gesture when it comes to his hand placements, but he likes the silent understanding of your connection and the grounding that comes with your palms pressed together, no matter where you are.

yuta

thigh/knee. i think this is a more intimate one, and one that yuta would definitely do. he wouldn't even do this on purpose, it just happens to be where his hands drift when you guys are together, where it feels the most comfortable. he likes the warmth of your skin on his and knows that you do too. he likes to tap his fingers against your skin playfully when he's bored, not even aware of it. you've grown to not acknowledge it as much either, it being a casual thing now.

doyoung

pinkies intertwined. i think that when you guys arent in public for everyone to see, he would definitely want your fingers intertwined, but just feeling each others presence with the closeness of two fingers is enough for him. just to know he's there. he would take your pinkie in his when he knows you're in situations where you're anxious, or if you guys were sitting down or waiting in line together, a promising connection.

jaehyun

your hand around his arm. i feel like jaehyuns arms would sort of act as your arm rest? being so close to him as his body radiates heat for the both of you gives you a sense of comfort and closeness knowing he won't go anywhere. i think he would like when you get tired and rest your head on his bicep as well, knowing that you feel comfy enough to do that.

jungwoo

around the back of your neck. ifykwim? around your neck and holding onto your hand that moves up to him, liking the feeling of your body sinking into his as his frame stand behind you. he loves coming up to you and just throwing his arm around your shoulders, holding you close to him. although casual, when you interlace fingers, you feel his thumb run over the back of your hand making you feel warm and secure.

mark

interlaced fingers. i just feel like this fits mark so well..romantic and traditional. dragging u along with him (or vice versa), but never letting go of each other. casually slipping his hand into yours, you can feel the affection he radiates. he loves interlacing your fingers because he thinks that it keeps you guys even closer, and you don't complain.

haechan

everywhere and anywhere. he'll honestly switch it up depending on his mood or the day. i feel like he would be really playful in a relationship and you would never know where his hands would go when you guys go out. romcom haechan putting his hand in your back jean pocket..around your waist..around your wrist..you never know, and he loves that.

a/n: thanks for reading!! its been a whileee lol..hopefully im back for a bit :3 gonna go work on some dreamie drafts!

[myfriendisryo]

MEAN OR KEEN?- O.SO

plot-  you and sion used to be the best friends everyone knew of. what happens when one moment you are at the dopest party and the next second, you are at a random washroom getting teased by your mean fwb buddy who used to be the sweetest guy....yeah not a good look.... pairing- fwb!sion!×fwb!reader! genre and cw- 3.7k words, fwb au, frat situation, popular, smut(18+), sion is mean af, reader is no less of a freak, frat boy sion, sorority girl reader, degrading, unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex(f receiving), hardcore, dom sion, sub reader,overstimulation, reader is frustrated af, sion was a sweet guy before.... note- wow.... this was a rollercoaster, i was so excited to write this but then i realised i had no time. so here it is, two days later....

The sting of the breakup still clung to you, a bitter aftertaste in every moment. Days blurred into a monotonous cycle of grief and self-pity, each morning a fresh battle against the urge to pull the covers over your head and disappear. Sion, your unwavering constant, navigated this landscape of your sorrow with the precision of a seasoned guide.

He’d show up with extra coffee when a deadline loomed, a forgotten textbook appearing magically on your desk, and during your red week, he transformed into a one-man comfort crew; a mountain of dark chocolate, a bouquet of your favorite snacks, and a curated list of the most melodramatic, tear-jerking films known to humanity. He even sat through them with you, feigning interest as you sobbed into a pillow.

One rain-slicked afternoon, the sky mirroring the grayness in your soul, you sat hunched on his worn leather couch, a half-eaten pint of ice cream forgotten on the coffee table. He watched you, a silent assessment in his eyes, before he spoke, his voice low, almost a murmur against the drumming rain.

"This can't go on, y/n."

You merely sniffed, pulling your knees closer to your chest.

"You deserve better than this wallowing," he continued, his gaze unwavering. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his hands clasped loosely. "I have an idea."

You finally looked at him, your eyes swollen and red. "What idea?" He hesitated, a flicker of something unreadable in his expression. "We could... try something different. Something to help you forget him. Something to remind you what it feels like to be wanted." His voice dropped further, a conspiratorial whisper. "Friends with benefits."

The words hung in the air, thick and heavy. Your breath hitched. Sion? Your best friend, the one who knew every embarrassing story, every childhood dream, every fear? The thought was startling, a jarring shift in the familiar tapestry of your relationship. You pictured his face, his easy smile, his comforting presence, and tried to superimpose a different image – one of intimacy, of raw desire. It felt… alien.

"Sion," you breathed, the name a question, a plea.

"I know," he interrupted, his voice rougher now. "It changes things. Everything. But I can't watch you like this anymore. I can't. And... I think it might work." He didn't elaborate on how it might work, or why he thought it was a good idea, not really. He just held your gaze, his eyes intense, searching.

You spent the rest of that day in a daze, his suggestion echoing in your mind. The familiarity of his touch, the comfort of his presence, now tinged with a new, thrillingly dangerous possibility. Sleep offered no escape; his words replayed, his gaze burned. The next morning, a faint tremor ran through you as you called him.

"I'll do it," you said, your voice barely a whisper. The line went silent for a moment, then you heard his relieved sigh, a sound that somehow both comforted and terrified you.

And boy, was that a situation.

The first time, the air crackled with unspoken tension. You both moved with a hesitant awkwardness, a dance of two people who knew each other intimately but were now navigating entirely new terrain. He fumbled with the buttons on your shirt, his breath warm on your neck, and you giggled, a nervous, breathless sound. But then, something shifted. A switch flipped.

Sion, the sweet, attentive best friend, vanished. In his place stood a man you barely recognized, a primal force of nature. He pushed you back onto the bed, his grip firm, almost bruising. His eyes, usually warm and kind, now held a predatory glint.

"Don't you dare hide," he growled, his voice a low rumble against your ear. His mouth crashed onto yours, a violent possession, his tongue plunging deep, mimicking the penetration to come. He tore at your clothes, the fabric ripping with a satisfying tear, exposing your trembling skin to the cool air.

"You're a slut, y/n," he whispered against your lips, pulling back just enough to watch your reaction. His fingers tangled in your hair, yanking your head back, forcing your eyes to meet his. "A pathetic, needy little slut who can't keep a man."

Tears pricked your eyes, but they weren't tears of sadness. They were a strange mix of shock, arousal, and a burgeoning, forbidden thrill. He was meaner than Miss Trunchbull, harsher than any lover you'd ever known. He called you names, degraded you with every thrust, every biting word. Yet, with every tear that tracked a path down your temple, a new sensation bloomed within you, a dark, exciting flower. You discovered a part of yourself you never knew existed, a submissive hunger that responded to his cruel tenderness.

Sometimes, after one of those tumultuous nights, he’d walk you to class, his hand casually brushing yours, the familiar best-friend dynamic momentarily reasserting itself. But then you’d catch the eyes of the jocks, lingering on you, their gazes appreciative, hungry. Sion’s jaw would clench, a muscle twitching beneath his skin. His eyes would narrow, a possessive fire burning in their depths. He couldn’t do anything, not really. He wasn’t your boyfriend. He wasn’t even your friend, not in the way he used to be.

He was just... Sion. And you were just... you. Two people tangled in a web of unspoken feelings and raw, unbridled sex.

The Alpha Phi frat house, a monolithic structure of brick and ivy, pulsed with a perpetual hum of energy. Its ragers were legendary, whispered about in hushed tones across campus. As a member of Zeta Tau, you knew an invitation to an Alpha Phi party was less an invite and more a royal summons.

This year, the Christmas Eve Rager was the talk of the town. Whispers of ice luges, secret rooms, and a DJ flown in from Ibiza circulated like wildfire. You decided to go, dragging your sorority sisters along, a giddy anticipation bubbling in your chest. The air outside the frat house was crisp, biting, but inside, a humid heat enveloped you, thick with the scent of cheap beer, sweat, and something vaguely metallic.

The party was a kaleidoscope of flashing lights and booming bass. Five beer pong tables blazed simultaneously, the rhythmic clink of plastic cups punctuated by shouts of victory and groans of defeat. Couples, fueled by liquid courage, pressed against each other in shadowy corners, their movements a silent, primal dance.

The music throbbed, a visceral beat that vibrated through your bones, compelling you to move. This was it. This was the escape you craved. You wondered where Sion was, a fleeting thought, quickly dismissed. Who cared? You were here to party.

Two hours in, the world had softened around the edges. God only knew how many different concoctions had slid down your throat, a dizzying cocktail of sweet, sour, and vaguely chemical. You were beyond tipsy, a delightful lightness permeating your limbs, making every movement effortless, every laugh a little louder. On the dance floor, a sea of gyrating bodies, a warmth pressed against your back. You didn’t mind. You barely registered it. You just kept moving, your hips swaying to the infectious rhythm.

Then, you turned, your arms instinctively wrapping around the body behind you, a faceless presence in the pulsating darkness. He said something, a murmur against your ear, and you laughed, a genuine, uninhibited sound that surprised even yourself. You leaned into him, letting the music carry you both, your bodies moving in a shared, unthinking rhythm.

From a shadowed alcove across the room, Sion watched. The girl he’d been talking to, a bright, bubbly blonde from the art department, prattled on about her latest exhibition, but her words were swallowed by the roaring in his ears. His eyes, usually sharp and discerning, were now a molten red, fixed on you. On him. The way your body arched, the effortless intimacy of your dance, the way you laughed, tilting your head back. A raw, possessive fury ignited within him, scorching everything in its path.

He didn't say a word to the blonde. He merely shoved her aside, a rough, unthinking motion that sent her stumbling. He moved through the throng of bodies like a predator, his shoulders cutting through the crowd, his gaze locked on you. The air around him seemed to crackle with his rage.

You were still laughing, your head thrown back, when a hand, strong and unyielding, clamped around your arm. You cried out, startled, as you were yanked away from your dance partner.

"What the hell, man?" the guy protested, his voice laced with annoyance.

Sion didn't even glance at him. He merely fixed him with a look, a silent, menacing promise of violence that made the guy's bravado evaporate. He swallowed, his eyes widening, and took a hasty step back.

He dragged you, unresisting, through the labyrinthine corridors of the frat house, past drunken revelers and discarded cups, until he found a small, dimly lit bathroom. He kicked the door shut with his foot.

The stale air, thick with the scent of cheap air freshener and something vaguely chemical, suddenly felt charged, electric. He spun you around, pressing you against the cold, tiled wall, his body caging yours. His hands, rough and demanding, tangled in your hair, yanking your head back. His mouth descended, a brutal, consuming force, cutting off your gasp. His lips were hot, urgent, his tongue invading your mouth with a ferocity that left you breathless. He tasted of beer and something else, something wild and untamed.

His free hand roamed, a burning brand against your skin. It slid down your back, pressing you harder against him, then dipped lower, cupping your ass, squeezing, kneading the flesh through your jeans. Your knees buckled, a sudden weakness spreading through your limbs. You moaned, a muffled sound against his lips, your body arching into his, a desperate need blooming deep within you. He broke the kiss, pulling back just enough to allow you to gasp for air, his eyes blazing down at you.

"You think you can just dance with any asshole?" he growled, his voice a low, dangerous rumble. His thumb traced the curve of your jaw, then pressed against your bottom lip, forcing it open. "You think you can just give that away?"

You whimpered, a choked sound, your head swimming with the intoxicating mix of alcohol and his raw dominance. His fingers, still tangled in your hair, pulled, tilting your head back further, exposing your throat. His mouth found the sensitive skin beneath your ear, trailing a path of fire down your neck, his teeth nipping, sucking, leaving angry red marks.

He lifted you, your legs wrapping instinctively around his waist, your hips grinding against his. The sudden friction sent a jolt through you, a searing heat that spread through your core. He slammed your back against the door, the impact jarring, but you barely noticed, lost in the whirlwind of sensation. His hand delved beneath your shirt, his cold fingers brushing against your heated skin, sending shivers down your spine. He found your breast, his thumb circling your nipple, teasing it into a hard, aching peak. You arched into his touch, a desperate plea escaping your lips.

"Want it, don't you?" he whispered, his voice a rasp against your ear.

"You little whore. You want it so bad."

He pulled away abruptly, leaving you gasping, shivering against the cold door. He scooped you up, one arm beneath your knees, the other supporting your back, and strode out of the bathroom, ignoring the curious glances and drunken shouts. He carried you through the throng, his gaze fixed straight ahead, a man on a mission. The stairs were a blur, the music fading as he ascended to the upper floors, where the bedrooms were.

He kicked open a door, revealing a dimly lit room, the air thick with the scent of stale beer and something uniquely masculine. He carried you to the bed, a rumpled expanse of sheets, and practically threw you onto it. You landed with a soft thud, your hair fanning out around your head like a dark halo against the pillows.

He stood over you for a moment, his chest heaving, his eyes burning into yours, a silent challenge in their depths. Then, with a swift, fluid motion, he ripped off his tank top, revealing a sculpted torso, a canvas of taut muscle and sinew. He tossed it aside, the damp fabric landing with a soft sound on the floor.

He leaned over you, his weight pressing you deeper into the mattress. His mouth found yours again, a slow, deliberate claiming, his tongue exploring every crevice, every soft fold. He pulled back, his lips swollen, glistening. His gaze dropped to your chest, your top now a crumpled mess around your waist, exposing your lace bra.

"Pathetic," he murmured, his fingers hooking into the delicate lace, tearing it with a satisfying rip. Your breasts sprang free, pale and trembling in the dim light. He lowered his head, his tongue tracing the curve of one, then the other, before closing his mouth around a nipple, sucking with a primal hunger that sent a jolt straight to your core. You cried out, arching your back, your fingers digging into the sheets.

He worked his way down, his lips trailing a path of fire across your stomach, his tongue flicking at your navel. He paused, his hot breath ghosting over the sensitive skin of your abdomen.

"Such a good little slut," he whispered, his voice thick with desire. "Beg for it. Beg for me to fuck you."

The words, harsh and demeaning, ignited a strange, desperate pleasure within you. You whimpered, a choked sound, your hips beginning to buck instinctively beneath him. He tore off your jeans, the denim shucking down your legs, leaving you bare and vulnerable. He tossed them aside, his gaze fixed on the dark patch of hair between your legs, already glistening with anticipation.

He knelt between your thighs, spreading them wide, his fingers brushing against your clit, a feather-light touch that sent a shockwave through your entire body. You gasped, your hips lifting, desperate for more.

"Not yet," he growled, his eyes dark with predatory intent. He lowered his head, his tongue flicking out, tasting you, a hot, wet exploration. He licked, he sucked, he swirled, his tongue a relentless assault on your already overstimulated clit. You cried out, a high-pitched sound, your fingers digging into his hair, pulling, urging him on.

He moved lower, his tongue delving into the folds of your pussy, teasing your labia, before finding your clit again, his mouth closing around it, sucking with a fierce hunger. Your body convulsed, a wave of pleasure washing over you, but he didn't stop. He kept going, his tongue a merciless weapon, driving you higher and higher, to the edge of an orgasm that refused to break. You whimpered, frustrated, your body writhing beneath him, desperate for release.

"Please," you sobbed, the word torn from your throat. "Sion, please." He pulled back, his face flushed, his eyes gleaming. "Beg harder," he commanded, his voice rough. "Tell me what a good little whore you are."

You were beyond thought, beyond shame. "I'm a good whore," you choked out, tears streaming down your face. "Please, Sion. Fuck me."

He nodded, a slow, deliberate movement, a triumphant glint in his eyes. He fumbled with his jeans, pulling them down, his hard, throbbing cock springing free, thick and engorged, glistening with pre-cum. He positioned himself between your legs, his cock pressing against your wet entrance, a blunt, insistent pressure.

You spread your legs wider, desperate, your body trembling with anticipation. He didn't hesitate. He thrust forward, a single, powerful stroke that drove him deep inside you, stretching you, filling you completely. You cried out, a mixture of pain and exquisite pleasure, your nails digging into his back.

He pulled back almost completely, then plunged again, a relentless rhythm beginning, his hips slamming against yours, the bedsprings groaning beneath your combined weight. His balls slapped against your ass with each thrust, a rhythmic sound that echoed in the small room. Your pussy gripped him tightly, milking him, urging him deeper.

"Such a tight little cunt," he grunted, his breath ragged, his face contorted with exertion. "Feels so good. So goddamn good."

He pulled out, a wet, sucking sound, and you whimpered, a desperate plea. He ignored you, flipping you onto your stomach, pushing your ass up, exposing your wet, swollen pussy to the dim light. He slapped your ass, a sharp, stinging sensation that made you cry out.

"Naughty whore," he whispered, his voice a low growl. He spread your ass cheeks, his fingers delving into your asshole, teasing, stretching the tight opening. You gasped, a foreign sensation, both painful and strangely exciting. He moved his fingers, then, with a practiced ease, he slid one of his fingers deep inside your ass, stretching you wider.

He then, without warning, pushed his cock into your pussy again, a hard, fast thrust that made you scream. He rode you from behind, his hips pumping relentlessly, his hands gripping your ass cheeks, lifting, slamming you down onto his cock. The sensation was overwhelming, a brutal, beautiful assault on your senses. You were a mess of moans, gasps, and tears, your body twitching, spasming with every thrust.

He reached around, his fingers finding your clit, rubbing it with a relentless rhythm as he continued to pound into you. The overstimulation was almost unbearable. You were so close, so agonizingly close, but he wouldn't let you fall. He drove you to the brink, then pulled back, only to push you over again, a cruel game of cat and mouse. Your body was a live wire, every nerve ending screaming.

"Cum for me, y/n," he commanded, his voice hoarse. "Cum for your master."

You thrashed, your nails tearing at the sheets, your body a symphony of desperate movements. "I can't," you sobbed, frustrated tears blurring your vision. "Sion, please, I can't."

He laughed, a dark, triumphant sound. "Oh, you will. You always do." He kept going, relentless, merciless, until finally, with a guttural roar, he pulled out, a thick stream of hot cum erupting from his cock, shooting deep inside you, a warm, sticky rush that filled you completely. You screamed, a primal sound, as your body finally convulsed, a series of violent spasms, an orgasm that left you shaking, spent, utterly drained.

He collapsed beside you, his breathing heavy, his body slick with sweat. He pulled you close, spooning your trembling form, his arm thrown possessively over your waist. You were exhausted, physically and emotionally, your body aching in places you didn't know existed. The last thing you remembered was the soft thud of your head against the pillow, and then, mercifully, darkness.

The morning light, filtering through the grimy window, assaulted your eyes. Your head pounded, a relentless drumbeat behind your temples, as if someone were drilling into your skull. You groaned, a low, guttural sound, and shifted slightly, the movement sending a fresh wave of nausea washing over you.

You opened your eyes, blinking against the unwelcome light. Sion was there, propped up on his elbow, watching you. His expression was unreadable, an indifferent mask that sent a chill through you. The raw, primal hunger of the night before had vanished, replaced by a cool detachment that felt like a slap in the face.

A wave of sadness washed over you, thick and heavy. You had lost him, hadn't you? The Sion who brought you ice cream, who talked to your teachers, who downloaded cringe melodramas. That Sion was gone, replaced by this stranger who looked at you with such cold eyes.

Yet, beneath the sadness, a strange warmth bloomed. He was here. He had been with you. And in some twisted, fucked-up way, you were glad. You managed a weak smile, a silent acknowledgment of the night’s debauchery. He didn't return it. He merely continued to stare, his gaze unwavering.

"It's Saturday," you mumbled, your voice raspy. "Good thing it's the weekend."

He nodded, a curt, almost imperceptible movement. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, his back to you, and began to pull on a pair of sweatpants. The casualness of his movements, the complete lack of emotion, stung.

He drove you home in silence, the early morning streets deserted, save for a few stray joggers. The air in the car was thick with unspoken words, a tangible tension that made your skin prickle. When he finally pulled up to your sorority house, he cut the engine, the sudden silence deafening.

He turned to you, his gaze still unreadable. "You alright?" he asked, his voice surprisingly soft, a faint echo of the old Sion. "Did I... do anything last night that you were uncomfortable with?"

You blinked, surprised. This was the most he’d spoken to you since the arrangement began. The question, gentle and unexpected, disarmed you.

"I..." You hesitated, searching for the right words. "No. Not really." You paused, then plunged forward. "But I miss you, Sion." The words tumbled out, raw and honest. "I miss my best friend. I miss how you used to be."

His jaw tightened, a flicker of something, perhaps pain, crossing his face before it was quickly masked. He looked away, staring out the windshield at the empty street. The silence stretched, long and uncomfortable, punctuated only by the distant chirping of birds.

"I know," he finally said, his voice low, almost a whisper. "I know I've been... different." He turned back to you, his eyes holding a hint of the warmth you remembered. "I'll try. I'll try to be the old me again."

A genuine, unbidden grin spread across your face. Hope, a fragile, delicate thing, unfurled in your chest. You reached out, your fingers finding his cheek, pinching it playfully, just like old times.

"Good," you said, your voice thick with emotion. "Because I really, really like the old you."

He didn't pull away. He even leaned into your touch for a moment, a faint smile playing on his lips, a ghost of the best friend you thought you'd lost. The air in the car, once heavy with tension, now felt lighter, infused with the fragile promise of a new beginning.

[jaehyunoos]

Obnoxious little shit - Jaehyun (M)

Summary: Just as you moved into your new apartment, you had one rule: don’t get involved with anyone. Work, sleep, repeat—that was the plan. But destiny had other ideas, placing the most infuriating, irresistible neighbor right next door, ready to turn your life upside down.

Genre: romance, enemiestolovers!au, slow burn, smut, contemporary

Tw?: explicit sexual scenes, emotional abuse, prolonged conflict and avoidance, family conflict, anger, shouting, and intense arguments, fire, property damage, strong language

Pairing: jaehyun x reader

Word Count: 23k

Author’s Note; I have this story in the works since January of 2023 and I just finished it :) I hope you like it because I LOVE IT 😁 it’s also not proofread and it might have some plot holes but work with me pls 🥹

Finding a place to rent these days? Nightmare. It took you three months to land an apartment that was actually worth your money and didn’t make you want to scream. Moving in, though? A dream. Space to yourself, freedom to do whatever you wanted—goodbye, years of awkward roommate drama. You’d worked hard for this, and it felt amazing.

Everything was perfect. Gorgeous apartment, good job, life basically handing you a little slice of happiness.

;

And then there was him. Jeong Jaehyun. That walking disaster of a neighbor. You didn’t hate easily—you’d always thought it was a waste of energy. But him? He tested every ounce of patience you had. Seriously, if aggravation was an Olympic sport, he’d have a gold medal.

So you did what any sane person would: avoided him like the plague. Every hallway encounter, every elevator ride—strategically ignored. Yet somehow, he always found a way to drive you absolutely insane. It was like he had a sixth sense for exactly how to get under your skin.

And yeah… you had to admit it. With a mix of shame and defeat, your stupid, infuriating, headache-inducing neighbor? Ridiculously good-looking. Fine, you’d give him that. But beauty didn’t cancel out his behavior. He was rude, obnoxious, and had zero manners. Basically, a nightmare wrapped in a ridiculously hot package. Honestly, how was it even fair that someone could look like a calendar model while also being a complete terror?

You told yourself firmly: “Do not get involved. Do not even THINK about him.” And yet, the universe had clearly decided your stubborn little heart needed a challenge. Jeong Jaehyun, congratulations—you were officially the worst thing to happen to a perfectly happy life.

As you exited the elevator, you spotted him—Jaehyun—leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone with that bored, infuriating expression he had perfected since the day you moved in. You should’ve kept walking. You really should’ve.

But he lifted his eyes the second he sensed you, like a shark smelling blood.

Perfect.

You walked past him, head high, pretending not to notice.

“Hold up,” he said lazily, stepping right into your path. “You’re going to just walk by without saying hello? Rude.”

“Move, Jeong.”

“Why?” he asked, tilting his head. “Scared?”

You rolled your eyes. “Of what? Your ego?”

“Ouch.” He placed a hand dramatically over his chest. “Relax. I just wanted to let you know something.”

You didn’t stop. “Don’t care.”

That was when he dropped the bomb—quietly, intentionally, the way someone throws a dart at a target they’ve memorized.

“I saw the notice on your door this morning.”

You froze. Just half a second, but enough for him to catch it.

His smirk widened.

“Pathetic,” he said softly. “You’ve lived here two months and you’re already late on rent?”

Your heart stung. Not because he was right—he wasn’t—but because he was weaponizing something he had no right to touch. The “notice” wasn’t about rent; it was a simple package pickup slip taped wrong. But he didn’t know that. He didn’t need accuracy. He needed ammunition.

He stepped closer, voice dripping arrogance. “Figures… You look like the type who can barely hold their shit together.”

That.

Right there.

That’s what made your blood boil.

“That’s none of your business,” you snapped.

“Oh, trust me,” he said, leaning in just enough to tower over you, “everything about you is my business. You live next to me. Your problems spill over.”

You shoved him—not hard, just enough to get him out of your face.

“Don’t ever talk about me like you know anything,” you said.

He laughed. Actually laughed. “Or what? You’ll cry about it?”

The slap came before you could think. A sharp crack echoed through the hallway.

His cheek reddened. His smile vanished.

“You’re gonna wish you didn’t do that,” he said quietly—dangerously.

You held his gaze, voice low and steady. “Touch my life again, Jeong, and I swear I’ll make yours hell.”

Then you walked into your apartment, breath shaking with anger, not heartbreak, not weakness.

Once the door shut, you pressed your back to it, exhaling hard. Tears didn’t fall, but your hands trembled from pure adrenaline. You weren’t fragile—you were furious. And worse? You knew he was just getting started.

Because Jaehyun didn’t hate you.

He enjoyed ruining you.

And that made him ten times more dangerous.

A few days passed without seeing Jaehyun—miraculously. You credited that entirely to divine intervention. But, of course, your luck ran out the moment you stepped out in your peak fashion era: black t‑shirt, sweatpants, messy bun, and the “don’t even think about talking to me” energy.

Naturally, Jaehyun appeared at the exact same moment, looking like he’d walked straight out of a magazine—black slacks, crisp white shirt, sleeves rolled just enough to make your blood pressure spike.

He froze when he saw you.

You stared back blankly.

Then shut your door and walked on, perfectly ignoring him.

Unfortunately, he still had a functioning set of legs.

Of course, he used them. He whistled and stepped in front of you, leaning forward with that smug, infuriating grin. “Aaand where is this lovely lady going?”

“Out of my sight,” you muttered.

He ignored that completely. Of course he did. He reached out, plucking your hand as if it belonged to him, and pressed it dramatically to his chest.

“Feel that? My heart. It beats only for you.”

Your brain short-circuited. Why did that stupid word make your stomach flip? Why was your heart betraying you?

You yanked your hand back. “What the hell is your problem?”

He chuckled, because naturally he did. “You liked it.”

“N-no I didn’t,” you stammered, internally cursing yourself for almost believing him.

He smirked like he’d just won the lottery. “Sure. Keep telling yourself that.”

You shoved past him. “Better luck next time, asshole.”

But, naturally, he wasn’t done. He caught your arm—not hard, just enough to frustrate you into a frenzy.

You glared. “What!!”

He tilted his head, that infuriating smirk never leaving his face. “You’re cute when you’re mad. Did you know that?”

You pushed harder. “I am not cute. I am furious. And you’re the absolute worst human being I’ve ever met.”

“Maybe. But admit it… you love hating me,” he said, stepping aside just enough to mock you.

Finally, you freed your arm and stormed off, chest puffed out, adrenaline mixing with triumph. Victory felt sweet. You weren’t falling for his nonsense—not today, not tomorrow.

The truth?

You were done letting Jaehyun think he could push you around.

He wanted to play games? Fine. You were ready to play smarter.

And this time, you’d win.

You genuinely loved your work. Every late night, every tight deadline—it all mattered because it got you here, to a place where you could live comfortably, have your own space, and build a life you were proud of. You wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Some days, though, managing it all felt like juggling flaming swords while blindfolded. And after those days, the only thing you craved was the moment you could return to your apartment—the ultimate reward. The idea of curling up in your own space, sinking into a hot bath, and falling asleep without a single interruption made your heart race in the best kind of way.

But apparently, the universe disagreed.

Because of course, God—or whatever cosmic force enjoyed making your life difficult—had other plans.

You hadn’t seen him all day, and for a fleeting, blissful moment, you thought maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t going to ruin today.

Ha.

Ha. Ha.

You should have known better.

As you rounded the corner to your building, there he was—Jaehyun. Leaning casually against the railing, looking impossibly put-together, as if the universe had designed him specifically to test your patience. That smug grin on his face was all the warning you needed: your peaceful evening had just officially ended.

~

You froze mid-step, just a heartbeat away from your apartment door.

“Evening,” he said, voice smooth, dripping with amusement. “Looks like someone’s in a hurry to get home.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re everywhere today.”

“Unfortunately,” he said, shrugging like it was a burden to exist in this universe at the same time as you, “I still have a set of legs. And apparently, good timing.”

Your chest tightened with irritation. He wasn’t just a nuisance—he was a storm in human form, the kind of storm that made you rethink the very concept of peace.

You tried sidestepping him, sliding past as if he were a shadow. But he shifted, deliberately, blocking your path with the grace of someone who had spent years perfecting the art of annoyance.

“Going somewhere… or just pretending you’re ignoring me?” he teased, voice low enough to make your teeth grit.

“I’m going somewhere that doesn’t involve talking to you,” you said sharply, tugging your bag closer.

He leaned just enough to mock you. “Ah, that’s the problem with you. You always think you can escape. But the universe seems to think otherwise.”

You rolled your eyes. Universe, fate, whatever—he wasn’t supposed to be a part of your evening. And yet, here he was, grinning like he owned the world, like he had every right to invade your perfectly ordinary life.

You didn’t answer. You didn’t have to. Your glare alone seemed to irritate him enough to keep that stupid smirk firmly in place.

And as you finally pushed past him, heading for your apartment, you felt it—the familiar, infuriating tension that he brought with him.

~

Yes. You hated him.

Yes. He drove you insane.

Yes. You wanted nothing more than to avoid him entirely.

And yet…

Part of you was already bracing for the next encounter.

Because Jaehyun wasn’t going anywhere.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

And definitely not anytime soon.

__

~FLASHBACK~

The moment you stepped into your apartment lobby that first day, you never imagined it would feel like stepping into a battlefield. Boxes stacked high, a fresh smell of paint in the air, and your hopes for a calm, quiet start—all of it ready to be dismantled.

And then, of course, he appeared.

Jaehyun.

You don’t remember the exact first words that passed between you—maybe it was a grunt, maybe a sarcastic “watch where you’re going”—but you remember the feeling. That instant, undeniable spark of irritation that made your skin crawl. He wasn’t just annoying; he was audacious in a way that demanded attention, even when you were trying your hardest to ignore him.

He had moved in the day before you—or maybe the week before—but somehow, in those first few minutes of seeing him striding through the lobby like he owned the place, you knew that nothing in your perfectly structured life would ever be the same.

At first, it was small things.

He played his music too loud when he thought no one was home. He leaned on the shared walls in ways that rattled your bookshelves. He had this infuriating grin every time your mail got delivered late, or when the elevator doors closed just before you could make it. Every little thing felt personal. And in your mind, it was.

The worst, though, was his confidence bordering on arrogance. He moved through the building like the entire complex revolved around him. Every time you tried to establish boundaries—your space, your routines, your peace—he tested them. Pushed them. Broke them with a smug smile like it was a sport.

And then came the incident.

You had spent weeks, maybe even months, meticulously moving into your apartment. Every box unpacked, every corner cleaned, every corner of your sanctuary arranged just the way you wanted. You were exhausted but proud. That evening, you had dropped onto the sofa with a sigh of relief, ready to finally relax.

And there he was.

Jaehyun, leaning against your railing—not even in your apartment yet—holding a package he had “borrowed” from the lobby. Not your package. Not even anything related to you. But the way he had looked at it, smirked, and then glanced at you like it was some sort of joke… you could feel the irritation boiling through your veins.

He had said something like, “Careful, some of us actually try to live in peace around here.”

You hadn’t been in the mood for sarcasm. Not that anyone ever was with him. But it didn’t matter. Something in the way he said it, the way he looked at you like he owned the world, was enough to make a line in your brain snap.

And that was when it truly began.

Your hatred, his irritation—whatever he felt toward you, whatever you felt toward him—it was a mix of pride, ego, and pure clash of personalities. You were meticulous, orderly, careful. He was chaos incarnate, unapologetic and infuriatingly confident. Every interaction sparked friction. Every word, every look, every smirk added fuel to a fire neither of you could—or wanted—to put out.

It didn’t take long for the building’s other tenants to notice. You two weren’t just neighbors; you were adversaries. A war in miniature. People might have thought it was amusing, but for you, it was serious.

You tried to maintain your distance, to keep your life separate, to enforce some sense of peace. But he always found a way to cross that invisible line. Small provocations, loud enough to be noticed, pointed remarks, deliberate teasing… all of it escalating.

And somehow, it always ended with the same result: he left smirking, satisfied with himself, and you were left fuming, plotting, and utterly convinced that he was the worst human being alive.

The funny thing—or maybe the tragic thing—was that this rivalry didn’t just exist on the surface.

It seeped into everything.

Every time you heard his footsteps, your brain went on alert. Every time you rounded a corner and saw that smirk, your chest tightened with that familiar mix of anger and… something else you couldn’t name. You didn’t like him. You hated him. And yet, your world had unknowingly started orbiting around the chaos he brought.

Because Jaehyun wasn’t just a neighbor.

He was the storm that refused to leave.

And as far as you were concerned, storms were dangerous. But they were also… impossible to ignore

__

You shook your head, forcing yourself back into the present. Memories of all those early confrontations—the sharp words, the stolen moments of triumph, the constant mental tug-of-war—made your chest tighten.

And yet, there he was again. Leaning against the railing just like he had on that first day, looking far too perfect for anyone to hate him properly. Somehow, he still managed to radiate chaos, the kind that made it impossible to walk past without a flare of irritation.

“Funny running into you… again,” he drawled, that same infuriating grin teasing the edges of his face.

“Funny, huh?” you replied, voice clipped. “I was hoping I’d finally have a peaceful evening.”

He snorted. “Peaceful? Around me? Now that’s ambitious.”

You ignored him and started walking toward your door, bag swinging slightly. He moved, as always, to block your path.

“Running late, as usual,” he said, stepping closer. “Or just trying to escape me?”

“Trying to escape the embodiment of chaos,” you said sharply, stepping around him.

He mirrored your movement effortlessly, smirk widening. “Chaos, huh? I like that. Makes life… interesting.”

You stopped, hands on your hips. “Interesting? You mean infuriating. I’ve spent years building routines, and you break them every time you show up.”

“Maybe I like seeing you react,” he said casually, leaning on the wall like he had all the time in the world. “Keeps me entertained.”

Your teeth clenched. “Entertained? I am not a source of amusement, Jaehyun.”

He shrugged, all innocence and arrogance wrapped into one perfectly maddening package. “That’s what makes it fun.”

You shot him a glare sharp enough to cut glass. And, naturally, he grinned.

__

The next evening, the sky had darkened into a bruised purple, and rain lashed against your windows with a steady, relentless beat. You were curled up on the sofa, finally ready to unwind, when a frantic knock shattered the quiet.

Your first thought was, Who the hell could that be at this hour?

You opened the door, and your heart skipped—half in irritation, half in disbelief. There he was. Jaehyun. Hair plastered to his head, jacket soaked, eyes wide with panic, holding nothing but a small bag.

“What…?” you began, narrowing your eyes.

“I—my apartment,” he stammered, voice tight and uncharacteristically shaky. “There’s… uh… a fire. Small, maybe, but… it’s not habitable. The fire department took care of it but I need… somewhere to stay.”

Your stomach dropped. You opened your mouth, then closed it again. You’re not supposed to feel anything for him. And yet…

“You’re asking to stay… here?” you said slowly, disbelief coloring your tone.

“Yes,” he admitted, finally meeting your eyes. Vulnerable, raw. “Just… for the night. Or until it’s… you know, fixed.”

There it was. The old Jaehyun bravado gone, replaced by someone who looked almost human, desperate. And your pulse betrayed you with a flutter you didn’t want to admit.

“Fine,” you said sharply, stepping aside. “But don’t expect me to enjoy it. And don’t touch anything.”

He nodded quickly, almost embarrassed by the compliance. “I won’t. I promise.”

You moved through the apartment, tense and precise, pointing out the sofa and making it clear he was to stay in his corner. He settled, still shivering from the rain, and the awkward silence was thick, heavy with unspoken thoughts.

Finally, he muttered, almost to himself, “I hate having to rely on anyone.”

“You hate relying on me in particular,” you snapped, crossing your arms.

He flinched, then let out a low, humorless chuckle. “Yeah… well, it’s… complicated.”

The storm outside pounded against the windows, echoing the storm in your chest. Here he was, frustrating, infuriating, right there in your space—and yet somehow… fragile.

You tried to remind yourself that this didn’t mean anything. It was a practical arrangement. Temporary. Necessary. Nothing more.

But as the evening dragged on, his presence became a quiet pressure. Small things—like him brushing past to grab a blanket, or cursing under his breath at the cold, wet socks—made your chest tighten.

“Don’t think this makes you less insufferable,” you said finally, tone sharp.

“Good,” he replied, voice low, almost teasing, though the edge of vulnerability remained. “Wouldn’t want to be.”

You glared at him. He smirked. The fire between you—hate, frustration, irritation—was alive and crackling. But underneath, subtle and undeniable, was something else. Something neither of you dared to name.

And as the night settled around the apartment, the rain tapping a steady rhythm, you realized this: Jaehyun was closer than ever. And whether you liked it or not, this storm—both outside and between you—was far from over.

__

The apartment was quiet, save for the rain tapping against the windows. You tried to curl up on the sofa, wrapping the blanket tightly around yourself, determined to reclaim your evening. But Jaehyun’s presence made the air feel heavy, charged, impossible to ignore.

He shifted on the couch, stretching slightly, and—of course—his leg brushed yours. You jerked back instinctively, glaring at him.

“Careful,” you snapped, trying to sound annoyed. Your chest betrayed you with a quickening pulse, though you refused to acknowledge it.

“I am careful,” he said, voice low, teasing, with just the faintest edge that made your stomach twist. “Wouldn’t want to provoke you… though it’s tempting.”

Tempting. The word hit like fire.

You tried to ignore him, tried to focus on your book, but every subtle movement he made—the shift of his shoulder, the way his hand brushed over his jacket—was like electricity against your nerves.

“Do you ever just… stay still?” you muttered, frustration lacing your tone. “Or is being insufferable your full-time job?”

He smirked, leaning just a fraction closer, so close you could feel the heat radiating off him. “I like watching you react,” he murmured, voice low and rough, almost a growl. “It’s… satisfying.”

You froze. Hate and desire tangled inside you, sharp and confusing. “You’re impossible,” you hissed, fists curling in your lap.

“And yet… here we are,” he said, leaning forward, lips dangerously close to your ear. “You can’t hide it forever.”

Your breath caught. You shoved him—hard enough to startle him, but not away completely. He grinned, clearly enjoying the push-pull.

“Stay away,” you snapped, voice shaky despite your determination.

“Not a chance,” he whispered, low, arrogant, and so close you could feel his warmth. “You drive me insane. And I like it.”

Like it. Not gentle. Not soft. Just that sharp, infuriating, teasing edge that made you want to slap him… and also… not pull away.

Your chest tightened, mind spinning. Hate and frustration battled desire, your body betraying you with every brush of his leg against yours, every subtle movement that made the air between you sizzle.

You shifted on the sofa, trying to create some space, but it was useless. Every time you moved, he adjusted, so your bodies remained dangerously close, heat radiating off each other.

“I don’t even know why I put up with you,” you muttered, voice tight, trying to mask the tremor in your chest.

“Because I annoy you in all the right ways?” he shot back, smirk wide, eyes gleaming with mischief. His leg brushed yours again—harder this time—and a jolt of heat shot through your body.

You jerked away, frustration burning hotter than embarrassment. “You’re impossible.”

“And yet,” he murmured, leaning forward, lowering his voice, “you’re still here.”

Your chest heaved, pulse thundering, as his gaze pinned yours. The tension coiled between you, electric and raw, making it impossible to think straight.

Before you could protest, he closed the small gap between you, pressing his lips to yours.

This wasn’t a brief peck. This was a full-blown, greedy kiss—demanding and insistent. Your body reacted instantly: your hands shot to his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer even as your mind screamed to resist. His lips moved over yours with a practiced confidence, teasing and claiming, and every brush of his tongue set your nerves on fire.

You tried to push him, tried to break free, but it was useless. He was relentless, pressing his body against yours, one hand curling around your waist while the other tangled in your hair. Heat flared in your stomach, spreading through every nerve ending, and your resistance began to crumble, little by little.

He pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes dark, smirk teasing but fierce. “See?” he whispered, low and rough. “You wanted that.”

“I—” you gasped, lips still tingling, chest heaving. “I… hate you!”

“And yet…” he leaned in again, capturing your lips with a second, harder kiss, “here you are.”

Your hands clawed at him, half in protest, half in desperate need. Every nerve in your body screamed, your mind spinning with frustration, desire, and fury all at once. The kiss deepened, long and hungry, tongues dancing, breaths mingling, leaving no doubt: the line between hate and desire had blurred entirely.

When he finally pulled back, your foreheads rested together, breaths ragged. Both of you were flushed, heated, and impossibly close—neither willing to admit what had just happened, yet neither able to deny it.

The room was silent except for your ragged breathing, but the tension—dark, electric, unbearable—lingered, heavier than ever.

__

The rain didn’t stop. Not once. Not even for a minute. Thunder rolled in the distance, lightning flashing intermittently, casting fleeting shadows across your apartment. Every day felt the same: gray, damp, wet, and loud with the constant drumming of rain against the windows.

Jaehyun was still sprawled on your sofa, a blanket draped over his shoulders, smirking as though he owned the place entirely.

“Do you ever sleep?” you asked, arms crossed, glaring at him from the doorway. Your hair was damp from trying to keep it dry while running errands in the downpour, your sweatpants sticking slightly to your skin.

He yawned, stretching, and his leg brushed yours as he shifted. “Sleep is optional,” he said lazily. “Teasing you… far more important.”

You groaned, rubbing your temples. “This is ridiculous. You’re ridiculous. And this rain is ridiculous.”

“Rain?” he echoed, smirk widening. “I think it’s perfect. Adds ambiance. Sets the mood. Makes our little… coexistence… more exciting.”

You rolled your eyes so hard you were pretty sure he could feel it. “Exciting? You’re soaking up my couch, stealing my food, and acting like you’re the only person in this apartment building. That’s your idea of exciting?”

He laughed, low and infuriating, the sound echoing against the walls. “You love it.”

“I do not!” you snapped, but even as the words left your mouth, the damp heat of his body close to yours made your pulse race. He was a constant brush of danger—annoying, infuriating, and… uncomfortably magnetic.

The rain kept falling, a relentless, pounding reminder that the world outside was gray and wet—and inside, tension and frustration were rising like steam from the kettle. Every day became the same:

• He would “accidentally” brush against you while reaching for something.

• You would glare, shove, or snap, and he would smirk, basking in the tiny victories.

• You debated how much of your groceries he had to pitch in for, joking that he was basically paying “rent in flirtation.”

• Thunder rolled. Rain soaked the windows. Lightning lit up his smirk in flashes, making it impossible to look away.

One evening, after a particularly violent storm rattled the apartment walls, you both ended up in the kitchen at the same time, trying to grab the last mug of hot chocolate. Your hands collided, fingers tangling, and the small touch sent sparks shooting through both of you.

He raised an eyebrow, lips curved into that infuriating smirk. “Careful,” he murmured, voice low and teasing. “At this rate, I might have to kiss you.”

Your heart skipped. “I… hate you!” you snapped, yanking your hand free, though your body betrayed you, warmth spreading through your chest and stomach.

“Uh-huh,” he said, stepping closer despite your retreat. “Sure you do.”

And the storm outside mirrored everything inside—the heat, the frustration, the tension, and the unspoken desire. The rain would not stop. And neither would the sparks between you.

__

The rain still hammered against the windows like a relentless drum, lightning stabbing through the gray sky, thunder rolling in deep, low rumbles that made your chest tighten. The apartment felt smaller than usual, cramped by the constant sound of the storm outside—and by Jaehyun, who leaned against the doorway like he owned the space, smirk firmly in place.

You were perched on the edge of the sofa, arms crossed, a blanket around your shoulders. He had spent the afternoon moving lazily from the armchair to the window, watching the rain, and every now and then his gaze flicked toward you. It wasn’t teasing in the obvious way today—it was quiet, deliberate, and somehow more dangerous.

“Do you ever get used to this?” you asked, voice low, keeping your eyes on the book in your lap, though you weren’t reading a word.

“Get used to what?” he drawled, stepping closer, each footfall echoing slightly against the wooden floor.

“This… this rain, this… being trapped in here with you.”

He tilted his head, dark eyes glinting. “Trapped? I don’t feel trapped.”

“You’re infuriating,” you muttered, ignoring the subtle brush of his shoulder against yours as he passed.

“And yet,” he murmured, voice low, just behind your ear, “you haven’t left.”

You shivered, though it wasn’t just the damp chill from the storm. Heat pooled low in your stomach, your body betraying your mind in the most inconvenient way possible.

He sat on the arm of the sofa opposite you, knees dangerously close. The tension between you had shifted—not teasing in the bright, sarcastic way it usually was—but sharp, charged, intimate. Every glance, every subtle movement, every brush of his knee against the side of yours was a spark waiting to ignite.

“You’re… quiet today,” he said, voice soft but edged with something dangerous.

“I’m plotting my escape,” you replied, voice tight, though your pulse betrayed you. “Don’t get any ideas.”

He leaned forward, hands braced on his knees, gaze locked on yours. “Ideas are hard to control when you’re this close.”

Your chest tightened, heart hammering. You wanted to push him away, but your body reacted against your will. You could feel the heat of his presence, the way his leg brushed subtly against yours, the low intensity of his stare pressing into your skin.

Then, without warning, he closed the last inch between you and pressed his lips to yours. This time it wasn’t playful or teasing—it was slow, consuming, and deliberate. Your lips parted instinctively, responding even as your mind screamed to resist. Hands pressed against his chest for balance, for space, for control—but the pressure of his body against yours was relentless.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, breaths mingling. The storm outside roared, but inside, it felt like the world had shrunk to just the two of you, heat and tension twisting tight in the small space.

“You’re… impossible,” you whispered, voice rough, chest heaving.

“I know,” he murmured, smirk teasing the corners of his lips, though his eyes were darker, more intense than usual. “And yet…”

“You’re infuriating,” you snapped, though your fingers itched to touch him again, to pull him closer despite every part of you that wanted to maintain control.

“And yet,” he repeated, voice low, “…here we are.”

-

The morning after the kiss—or whatever that was—Jaehyun was gone. Your apartment was quiet, the rain outside still drumming against the windows, but the suffocating tension that had filled the air was gone with him.

You breathed a small, almost embarrassed sigh of relief. Finally, some space. Some distance. Some room to think without him leaning too close, smirking, or testing the limits of your patience.

And yet, the memory of him lingered—his smirk, the way his body had pressed against yours, the low teasing in his voice. You hated it. You hated him. But somehow… part of you ached for it too.

The day went on, uneventful in appearance, but your thoughts were anything but. You went to work, focused on your projects, trying to shove the memory of him and that kiss into a box in the back of your mind.

Then, later that evening, as you walked back through the lobby of your apartment building, you caught sight of him. Across the hallway. His hair was damp from a drizzle outside. He didn’t smile, didn’t smirk, didn’t approach. Just… stared.

Your chest tightened. That familiar rush of irritation and desire collided in your veins, making you want to turn and run, and yet some ridiculous part of you wanted to confront him.

“Go away,” you muttered under your breath, though you weren’t sure if you were telling him or yourself.

He raised an eyebrow. “You first,” he called lightly, but there was a flicker of something in his expression—something unreadable. And then, just like that, he was gone.

You exhaled shakily, wondering what the hell was happening to you. You hated him. Absolutely hated him. And yet… you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

__

The next few days felt… different. You moved through your routine with careful focus, determined to ignore him entirely. And yet, fate—or whatever cruel trick it enjoyed playing—kept him lingering on the edges of your life.

It started with the little things. In the elevator, your shoulders brushed slightly as you both reached for the same button. In the lobby, he leaned against the railing as if the building itself had been built for him to watch you pass. At the café you frequented, he appeared in the corner of your vision, casually sipping a latte, watching, smirking.

Each encounter set your nerves on edge. You hated it. Absolutely hated him. And yet… your pulse betrayed you every single time.

One rainy afternoon—you had refused to let him see how annoyed you were—you stormed into the lobby, umbrella dripping, frustration bubbling from the day at work. And there he was, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, that infuriating smirk fixed firmly in place.

“Bad day?” he asked, his voice low, teasing.

“Mind your own business,” you snapped, stomping past him.

He moved just enough to block your path, though, forcing you to stop. The air between you felt charged, electric. You could smell the faint rain on him, hear the quiet rhythm of his breathing.

“Don’t walk away,” he murmured, his gaze locking with yours. “I’m not done talking.”

“You’re never done talking,” you shot back, though your hands twitched, itching to shove him or… God, you didn’t even know.

He smirked, tilting his head. “Maybe I like that you fight back. Makes it… fun.”

Fun. That word hit your chest harder than it should have. You clenched your fists, frustration twisting in your stomach. “You are impossible,” you hissed, spinning past him, leaving him staring after you like he owned your attention.

And yet, as you walked away, a small, stubborn part of you wondered—why did your chest still pound when he smiled? Why did the memory of his lips linger in your mind, stubborn and infuriating?

The tension between you didn’t ease over the next days. Every encounter became a game: who could insult the other more cleverly, who could remain flustered without showing it, who could walk past without turning to stare. And all the while, the attraction simmered underneath, undeniable and unspoken, like a fire kept under ash, ready to flare at the slightest spark.

Even when he wasn’t around, you felt his presence: in the lingering irritation of your thoughts, in the way your pulse jumped at the sound of a familiar laugh echoing through the hallway.

Hate. Desire. Anger. Curiosity. They were all tangled together in ways you hadn’t admitted even to yourself. And somewhere deep down, you knew this slow-burning storm wasn’t going anywhere soon.

__

Jaehyun appeared at your door that evening without warning, shoulders slumped, eyes shadowed with something heavier than usual.

“What do you want?” you asked, arms crossed, heart racing despite your best effort to stay composed.

“I… needed to see you,” he said, voice low, almost too quiet to hear. His usual smirk was gone, replaced by a heaviness that made your chest tighten.

You frowned. “For what?”

He hesitated, eyes flicking away, then back. “Closure… maybe. Or just to… talk.” He took a step closer, but the tension didn’t melt. It thickened. His proximity was maddening.

You sighed, but the familiar fire in your chest flared. “Talk about what, exactly? You can’t just show up here and—”

His lips cut you off, brushing against yours in a quick, sharp kiss. Not a peck—deliberate, testing, demanding attention. You shoved at him, but the movement only made him press closer, his hands tracing the edges of your arms as if weighing the fight against the longing.

“You’re… impossible,” you spat, breath shaky.

“And yet,” he murmured, voice rough, “here I am.”

Something in his tone, the sadness beneath the teasing, made your chest tighten. This wasn’t just lust. This wasn’t just the old game. He was struggling with something, letting it bleed into the tension between you. And despite yourself, the pull was undeniable.

Every accidental brush, every low, teasing remark carried weight now—pain, desire, anger. The air sizzled around you. Hate and want tangled together in every movement, every gaze.

You hated him. You hated the way your body betrayed you. You hated that you even cared that he was hurting. And yet, when his lips found yours again—longer, deeper, claiming—you couldn’t stop yourself from responding.

The doorway barely contained the heat between you as his lips pressed to yours again—longer, deeper, claiming. Every brush of his thigh against yours, every hand on your waist, every shiver in your spine ignited a fire you couldn’t suppress.

He tilted your head, lips moving over yours with a mix of dominance and need, testing boundaries, and you found yourself leaning into him despite your mind screaming to push away. His hands traveled up your sides, sliding under the hem of your shirt, tracing your curves, teasing your ribs and stomach, mapping you like he owned every inch of your skin.

You hissed as his teeth grazed your lower lip, tugging gently before letting go, only to trail kisses down your jaw to the curve of your neck. “You’re—dangerous,” you breathed, fingers clutching at the front of his shirt, nails grazing his chest.

“And yet, you let me do it,” he murmured, voice rough, vibrating against your skin. His hands slipped under your shirt entirely, palms pressing against bare skin, thumbs brushing over ribs and hips, teasing, claiming, demanding.

When he pressed forward into your body, your knees weakened. He moved you with ease through the doorway into your apartment, the click of the door behind him sealing the space in a private, charged bubble. Every step was deliberate, brushing, teasing, his chest and lips against yours, forcing you to feel every inch of him.

Once inside the bedroom, the room felt small, intimate. His hands left your waist for your back, pulling you to him fully, lips moving hungrily against yours. You stumbled back onto the bed together, tangled in sheets and limbs, hearts racing.

He paused for a moment, looking down at you with dark, intense eyes. “Do you know how hard it is to stop thinking about this?” he asked, voice low, full of frustration and need.

“I shouldn’t want this,” you spat, but your voice cracked, betraying you as your fingers ran through his hair, tugging him closer.

“Good,” he said, grinding his hips lightly against yours, the friction making your breaths catch. “Because I want this. All of it.”

Clothes became an obstacle quickly. Shirts were tugged off, buttons undone, skirts lifted, pants slid down, all with a mix of teasing and rough urgency. Every brush of skin against skin was electric, your bodies learning, memorizing each other in the heat of desire.

He kissed you everywhere—neck, collarbone, the hollow beneath your jaw—pausing only to bite, tease, and hear your sharp intake of breath. You pushed him, trying to regain control, but he rolled you gently onto your back, hovering above, lips teasing, hands roaming.

“You’re not allowed to fight me right now,” he whispered, thumb brushing over your sensitive spots, eliciting moans and hisses from you. “Not when you’ve been thinking about me like this for months.”

You gasped, nails raking down his back as his mouth found yours again, teeth nipping gently before kissing hard, claiming, pulling at every nerve. He ground against you, each movement teasing, testing, pushing, and you matched him, arching, bucking, desperate for friction, for contact, for release.

Hours passed in a rhythm of push and pull, fight and surrender—hands gripping sheets, hair, shoulders; teeth grazing skin; moans and whispered curses filling the room. Every argument, every insult, every playful taunt became fuel for the fire, a dangerous dance of hate and lust that left neither of you able to look away or stop.

When he finally entered you, slow and deliberate at first, then with increasing urgency, the world narrowed to skin, heat, and tension. Every thrust was a mixture of desire, frustration, and power—the enemies-to-lovers tension exploding in every movement. You gasped, moaned, arched, and clawed at him while shoving and pulling, arguing with every touch even as your body betrayed your words.

Your climax came first, shivering, moaning his name against his chest, and he followed, lips pressing to yours, teeth grazing, whispering curses, sighs, and your name as he collapsed beside you.

Both of you lay tangled in sweat and sheets, breathing hard, hearts racing, eyes locked. The tension didn’t vanish—it lingered, a low-burning mix of hate, desire, and something neither of you dared to name yet, leaving you both trembling and aware of how irrevocably dangerous this connection had become.

__

Three days had passed since that night, and neither of you had acknowledged it. Not a word. Not a look beyond the casual nod. And yet, the air around him seemed different. He walked past you in the lobby, but the slight brush of his shoulder against yours made your pulse spike despite the casual expression you plastered on your face.

“Morning,” he said, low, clipped, as if it were nothing, yet the corner of his mouth twitched with amusement—or was it smugness? You couldn’t tell.

“Morning,” you replied, hands full of your bag, refusing to look at him directly.

Later, in the hallway, he blocked your path—not fully, just enough that you had to glance up to meet his eyes. “You forgot something?” he asked, arching a brow, voice smooth as silk but edged with mischief.

“Forgot what?” you snapped, though your fingers tightened around the strap of your bag.

“That I can remember everything,” he said, brushing past you with his usual arrogant smirk, thigh grazing yours just long enough to make you flinch and heart thud in a way that made you scowl.

You wanted to be furious, to shove him away, to tell him off for the lingering effect he had on you, but… you didn’t. Your pulse betrayed you, and he noticed. Of course, he noticed.

“Still walking funny,” he teased later that evening when he passed you again, “like you’re remembering something… or someone.”

“Shut up,” you hissed, cheeks heating, yet part of you couldn’t help the smirk tugging at your lips. You hated that he had this effect on you.

The tension between you thickened with each encounter:

• The elevator rides, too close, casual hands brushing.

• The lobby banter, sharp words laced with subtle flirtation.

• The quiet, unspoken acknowledgment of that night—never named, always lingering.

You argued, you teased, you fought, and yet the lingering fire from that night never fully went out. Each day was a careful balance of hate, frustration, and undeniable attraction, a slow burn that neither of you wanted to admit.

And neither of you did.

But everyone else in the building? Probably knew …

__

You hadn’t seen Jaehyun since the moment in the elevator, not properly. Just glances in hallways, stupid smirks, the brush of his arm when he walked past you like he couldn’t resist getting too close.

Every time, it made your stomach twist in a way you hated.

Like this morning.

He caught your eye across the hallway, leaned against a locker, arms crossed, expression bored—until he saw you. His lips tilted up, slow and infuriating, like he knew exactly what memory he was putting back in your head.

You rolled your eyes and kept walking.

He still let his shoulder hit yours lightly when he passed by.

Not hard—but intentional.

“Watch it,” you muttered.

“Why?” he murmured, barely turning his head. “You never complain when I’m closer than this.”

Your face heated immediately.

“Go to hell.”

He chuckled under his breath, the deep kind that hit annoyingly low in your spine. Then he walked off like nothing mattered, like you didn’t still think about how he sounded above you that night.

It was the usual.

Annoying.

Distracting.

Predictable.

Until the afternoon.

That’s when everything went to shit.

You had stopped by the small convenience store near campus to grab gum, and when you stepped outside, you froze.

A girl—maybe sixteen, maybe seventeen—was sitting on the curb with two heavy grocery bags, scrolling her phone with a look of defeat on her face.

You recognized her instantly.

His sister.

The one he kept private.

The one he never talked about unless someone dragged it out of him.

You hesitated, because this was a part of his life you’d never been near.

But the bags looked heavy, and the girl looked frustrated, and it felt too cruel to walk past.

You walked over, slow.

“Hey… do you need help?”

She looked up, surprised—and then her eyes widened. “Oh! You’re—uh—Jaehyun’s friend, right?”

Friend.

You almost choked, but sure. Whatever.

“Something like that,” you said. “Are you okay?”

“My bus didn’t come, and these are for dinner, and if I’m late again Jaehyun’s gonna freak out,” she groaned, pushing her hair back. “He stress-cooks. It’s weird.”

That pulled a laugh out of you. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”

Before you could think twice, you said, “I can walk with you. It’s not far.”

She blinked, surprised, then smiled. “Really? Thank you.”

You grabbed one of the bags.

She grabbed the other.

And you walked.

The conversation was light, harmless. She was sweet, talkative, completely oblivious to anything between you and Jaehyun.

But halfway there, she sighed.

“I hate that he doesn’t let me do anything alone. He tries, but he’s always worrying. He acts like Mom’s about to check in on us any second.”

The words stuck in your brain.

His mom didn’t live with them.

You knew that much.

And clearly, it wasn’t an easy subject.

“I’m sure he just cares,” you said gently.

“He needs to chill,” she grumbled. “I’m not a baby.”

It wasn’t your place.

You knew it wasn’t your place.

But something in you—curious, soft, stupid—said:

“Maybe I can talk to him? Tell him you’re responsible enough?”

Her eyes lit up. “Would you?”

And that was the moment you crossed the line.

You didn’t mean to interfere.

You definitely didn’t mean to betray Jaehyun’s trust.

But she looked so relieved, and you didn’t think it through.

When you reached their street, she hugged you quickly before running inside.

You didn’t follow.

You left.

And you thought that was the end of it.

It wasn’t.

__

You saw him that evening.

He approached you fast—too fast—not in the teasing way, but with a controlled, sharp energy you had never seen from him.

“Come here,” he said quietly.

It wasn’t a request.

He pulled you aside behind the building, jaw tight, eyes cold.

“What the hell were you doing with my sister?”

You froze.

Your mouth opened.

Closed.

“I—she needed help with the groceries—”

“I don’t care about the groceries.” His voice cut through yours, low but vibrating with anger he was barely holding. “Why were you talking to her about me?”

Your heart dropped.

“You told her I should stop worrying about her.”

“That’s not what I—”

“You tried to get involved in how I handle my family.”

You swallowed hard. “I wasn’t trying to—Jaehyun, I swear, I was just—”

“You were just overstepping,” he snapped.

You flinched.

He wasn’t yelling, but it was worse—this was disappointment, hurt, and anger tangled together.

“I told you before,” he said slowly, breathing uneven, “there are things in my life you don’t get to touch. And you went and touched them anyway.”

“I was trying to help,” you whispered.

“I didn’t ask you to.”

He stepped back like he couldn’t stand how close he’d gotten. “You had no right.”

You felt your throat tighten.

He shook his head once, jaw clenching hard.

“For someone who hates me so much,” he said bitterly, “you sure act like you get a say in what I do.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No,” he said, voice dropping even lower, “what you did wasn’t fair.”

Silence.

Painfully heavy.

He inhaled once, sharply, like he was swallowing the rest of what he wanted to say.

Then he turned away.

“Don’t talk to me.”

He didn’t look back.

He just walked off, leaving you standing there with the sickening realization that one small choice—one moment of wanting to do something good—just ruined everything.

You didn’t sleep that night.

Every time you closed your eyes, you saw the way Jaehyun looked at you—like you weren’t someone he argued with or teased anymore, but someone who genuinely disappointed him.

You kept replaying the moment over and over.

His voice.

His jaw tightening.

The way he stepped back from you like your presence itself hurt.

You’d never seen him like that.

Not toward you.

And the worst part?

He meant every word when he said don’t talk to me.

__

The next morning, you spotted him in the hallway.

He saw you, too.

You knew the exact second he did, because his expression shut down instantly—like flipping a switch—and he turned the other way without hesitation.

No smirk.

No comment.

Not even a glare.

Just… nothing.

It hurt more than you expected.

You weren’t supposed to care.

You weren’t supposed to feel anything beyond annoyance.

But your stomach twisted painfully, and you hated it.

You hated that one fight—one mistake—could shift the entire dynamic between you so violently.

You tried not to stare at him.

You failed.

You watched him walk away, watched the tense set of his shoulders, watched the way he didn’t look back even once.

It was the first time he ever ignored you.

The first time he didn’t have some snarky remark ready.

The first time his silence felt like a punishment.

Later that evening, you stepped out of your building, needing air more than anything.

Your head was a mess — the fight replaying over and over, his face when he realized what you’d done, the disappointment that sank deeper than anger ever could.

You weren’t expecting to see him.

But there he was.

Jaehyun stood outside on the sidewalk, just a few steps from the entrance.

Hands in his pockets, shoulders tight, staring at nothing — the way someone stares when their mind is chewing them alive.

He didn’t notice you at first.

The streetlights cast a faint gold on his face, making him look even more exhausted than earlier — tired in a way that went past the body and into the bones.

His phone buzzed once.

He looked at the screen.

Locked it again without answering.

You didn’t know why that made your chest twist harder.

“…Jaehyun?” you said softly.

He turned slightly, just enough to acknowledge you.

Not enough to actually look at you.

And that small movement felt like a punch.

“Are you—Are you okay?” you asked.

He didn’t laugh. He didn’t scoff. He didn’t throw a sarcastic comment like he normally would.

He just said, quietly, “Don’t.”

You froze. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t pretend we’re suddenly close,” he said, eyes still fixed on the dim street ahead. “Not after today.”

Your stomach dropped.

“I wasn’t pretending,” you whispered.

That made him finally look at you — but only with the kind of expression that tears you apart because it’s not anger.

It’s disappointment.

“You crossed a line,” he said. “And the worst part? You don’t even understand how deep it was.”

You swallowed, heat rising in your chest, in your eyes.

“Then tell me,” you said, voice cracking against your will. “Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”

He let out a slow breath, shaking his head lightly.

“You shouldn’t have been around my family,” he said. Not loud. Not harsh. Just… drained. “That was the one thing I kept separate. The one thing I didn’t want you involved in.”

“I wasn’t trying to—”

“I know,” he cut in. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt anything. But intention doesn’t erase the line.”

A car drove by, the sound filling the silence between you for a moment.

Then he murmured, “I can’t do this right now.”

That sentence hurt far more than if he had yelled.

“Jaehyun, wait—”

He stepped back.

Not abruptly.

Just far enough that you could feel the space he was putting between you.

“I need time,” he said, eyes on the pavement. “Away from you.”

He turned and walked toward the side street.

He didn’t look back.

And you stood there under the streetlights, heart pounding so loud it hurt, realizing:

This wasn’t just a fight.

This was distance.

Real distance.

And it was only the beginning.

__

The next few days were brutal.

Not in the sense that something catastrophic happened — no fire, no accident, no storm — but because every encounter with Jaehyun became a war in itself. A quiet, invisible war where neither of you said much, but the air between you screamed.

You caught glimpses of him everywhere: leaving his apartment, coming back late from work, picking up a coffee from the corner café. And every time, it was the same. He didn’t greet you. Didn’t glance your way. Didn’t even acknowledge that you existed.

At first, you tried subtlety. A nod. A soft “hi” when you passed in the lobby. A tentative smile that didn’t reach your eyes. Each time, he ignored it. Not coldly, not rudely — he simply moved past you like you weren’t there, and it shredded your chest in ways you didn’t know were possible.

By the third day, the silence between you had become unbearable. You found yourself timing your comings and goings, trying to avoid him, yet longing for the chaos of his presence at the same time.

~

It was late evening when the unavoidable happened.

You were carrying a bag of groceries, tired and distracted, when the elevator doors opened, and there he was.

Jaehyun.

Eyes narrowed. Shoulders stiff. That wall of distance radiating off him in waves.

Your stomach dropped.

He stepped into the elevator without a word, pressed the button for your floor, and leaned against the wall — giving you space, but not enough to escape the tension.

You tried. You really did. “Uh… hey.”

No response.

You swallowed. “Look… about the other night…”

He shifted, finally glancing at you, the shadow of pain still in his eyes. “Not now.”

Your chest tightened. “Please. Just—just a minute.”

He shook his head, jaw tight. “I can’t.”

The doors opened at your floor. He stepped out without another word.

You froze in the elevator, heart racing, watching him disappear.

And that’s when it hit you.

You weren’t just upset that he was avoiding you.

You were terrified of what it meant.

~

The next day, you tried again.

You waited outside his door when you knew he’d be coming back from work, arms crossed, mind rehearsing every possible thing you could say to break through his wall.

And he came.

Without looking at you. Without pause.

“I thought about what you said,” you tried, stepping closer.

He didn’t stop. He didn’t even flinch.

“I know I messed up,” you whispered. “And I—I want to fix it.”

His footsteps didn’t falter. His silence was deafening.

Finally, he glanced at you — brief, cold, unreadable — and said, voice low and steady, “There’s nothing to fix right now. And maybe… there won’t be for a while.”

He walked past, and for a fraction of a second, you swore you saw the shadow of sadness in his posture.

But the distance he kept? That was deliberate. Unyielding.

And you realized, with a sick twist in your stomach, that this avoidance was more painful than any argument you’d ever had with him.

~

The week stretched on like this.

Every time you saw him, it was the same: silence, distance, careful avoidance.

And yet, every glance, every movement, every time his presence intersected with yours, carried the weight of unspoken words. Tension built like a storm on the horizon — quiet, smoldering, ready to erupt.

You knew one thing:

The fight wasn’t over.

Not by a long shot.

And when it finally came, it wouldn’t be just about the argument.

It would be about everything.

Everything you’d done, everything you hadn’t done, and everything you were both too stubborn to admit.

__

The first few weeks after the fight felt like walking through fire. Every attempt to reach him, every hesitant word you tried to say, was met with cold indifference. His clipped tones, the way he avoided your eyes, the deliberate silence — it was suffocating. It was clear: he didn’t want to talk. And after enough bruised pride and frustrated heartbeats, you gave up.

The weeks turned into months, and a rhythm emerged. You and Jaehyun became experts at coexistence by distance. The lobby was a gauntlet of timing; elevators became a strategic gamble. You left your apartment only after he had already gone, or returned just after he had slipped inside. In the rare moments your paths did cross, it was a quick, averted glance or a stiff nod. Every accidental brush of a shoulder, every glimpse of him across the parking lot, reminded you that the fire between you hadn’t truly gone out — it was just smoldering, waiting.

Each day carried the weight of the unspoken. Anger and irritation lingered, coiling around your stomach like a snake. Longing pressed at your chest in quiet moments, but you refused to give it a voice. Curiosity gnawed at the edges of your mind: what was he thinking? Did he feel the same pull you did, or had the fight permanently hardened him against you?

The sister’s presence hovered in the background like a ghost. You never saw her in these months, but you knew she was there, slipping into his apartment after school or on weekends. Jaehyun’s stress-cooking rituals, the careful organization of his papers and counters — she witnessed it all. She helped him, guided him, supported him — but always without you knowing. You only caught glimpses from a distance, moments where you saw him softened, relaxed in ways he would never allow around you.

And yet, the unspoken barrier between you remained unbroken. You lived side by side, carried out your routines with surgical precision, and went to bed each night knowing that the man you had once been drawn to was only a few doors down, untouchable, unreachable.

It wasn’t until one quiet evening near the end of that year that the carefully constructed walls began to crack. Jaehyun came home, shoulders slumped in a way that suggested exhaustion deeper than physical fatigue. The sister, finally, confessed the truth. The lies she had fed him a year ago — the distorted version of what you had actually said — were laid bare. She admitted the manipulation, the misunderstanding she had created.

For the first time in twelve months, something shifted. The weight of anger, confusion, and distance pressed against him in a way that made the air between you taut with potential. It didn’t resolve anything — not yet. But it opened a door. A crack, a tiny fissure through which the tension, the desire, and the unresolved feelings you both had kept at bay could begin to seep through.

And while the year of avoidance had carved deep grooves between you, both physically and emotionally, the truth finally planted the seeds of change. You didn’t know what would come next, but for the first time in a long time, the silence didn’t feel permanent.

~

The moment the words sank in, Jaehyun froze. His fingers, which had been idly tracing the edge of the counter, clenched into fists. His heart pounded, and a bitter taste of disbelief curled in his mouth. He stared at his sister, unblinking, as if the weight of a year’s worth of misunderstanding had physically pressed him into the floor.

“You… what?” His voice was low, controlled, but it carried the edge of a storm barely contained.

“I—Jaehyun, I didn’t mean—” She started, hands trembling, but he raised a hand, cutting her off.

“Didn’t mean?” he repeated, voice taut, raw. “You lied to me. All this time… you twisted her words. You made me think she said things she didn’t, things that… that…” His throat tightened. The anger bubbled up, bitter and scorching, but beneath it, something else — a sharp pang of hurt, betrayal sharper than any knife.

“I was trying to protect you,” she stammered. “I thought… I thought if you didn’t know, you’d be better—“

“Better?” he snapped, stepping back, pacing a few steps away. “You don’t get it. You’ve been feeding me lies. Lies that kept me angry, distant, and alone. Do you have any idea how that felt?”

Her eyes filled with tears, but he didn’t look at her. He turned toward the window, the faint city lights casting shadows across his face. He ran a hand through his hair, jaw tight, as if holding himself together.

“I trusted you,” he muttered, almost to himself. “I trusted her. And you—” He paused, taking a breath, the sharpness in his chest making it hard to form the words. “You used that trust… to manipulate me. To make me hate her. A year wasted because of your interference.”

The silence that followed was thick, heavy, suffocating. He finally sank onto the edge of the couch, head in his hands, shoulders shaking slightly — not with tears, but with the weight of suppressed emotion. Anger, frustration, confusion, and a deep, raw vulnerability he rarely allowed anyone to see.

“I… I need time,” he said finally, voice quiet, but firm. “I need to think. I need to… process this.”

His sister’s words faltered, apology spilling from her lips, but he didn’t respond. She tried again, softer, “Jaehyun, I’m sorry. I didn’t know—”

He shook his head. “No. Just… leave me alone for now.”

And with that, the space between them was filled with the echo of betrayal, and a silence that wasn’t peaceful — it was sharp, cutting, a reminder that the trust he once had was fractured. He stayed there for a long time, staring at nothing, letting the flood of emotions crash over him in waves. Anger, hurt, loneliness… and, buried beneath it all, the slow, stubborn ache of longing for someone he hadn’t stopped thinking about all year.

__

The week had settled into a rhythm neither of them wanted, a careful dance of timing and distance. Every glance in the hallway was measured, every step calculated. They moved around one another like satellites, aware of the other’s presence but orbiting at safe distances. Words were scarce, replaced by cold nods or deliberately avoided eye contact, and the air between them carried a weight neither admitted aloud.

Jaehyun, however, wasn’t about to let the distance stand unchallenged forever.

It started small.

“Coffee?” he asked one morning, leaning casually against the wall in the hallway as she passed by. She didn’t look up, didn’t respond. She kept walking, her stride steady, deliberately ignoring him.

He sighed, shoulders tightening. He knew she was cold, deliberately so, but it didn’t stop the pull he felt.

Later that evening, he tried again. She was walking down the hallway, arms crossed, eyes focused straight ahead. He leaned casually against the wall, pretending to be indifferent, but the tension in his stance betrayed him.

“You always do this,” he said, voice low, teasingly sharp. “Walk past me like I don’t exist, and yet—”

She froze for a heartbeat, then continued walking.

“You’ve ignored me for a whole year,” she said finally, voice tight, clipped, every word deliberate. “You think you get to just start talking to me now? I spent twelve months pretending you didn’t exist because that’s exactly what you did to me. I think you need to remember that before you start complaining about anything.”

He stepped forward, frustration coiling in his chest, voice low but strained. “You don’t get to just do that to me, either,” he said, jaw tight. “I’m not some puzzle you can walk past and ignore. You’re driving me insane.”

She didn’t look at him, eyes still fixed ahead, but her shoulders stiffened. “I could say the same about you,” she said quietly. “You ignored me for a year. Don’t act like you’re the only one who suffered.”

The hallway seemed to shrink around them. He exhaled sharply, tension and longing and frustration tangling together in his chest. He took a step back, leaning further against the wall, voice barely above a whisper. “Damn it,” he muttered. His composure, carefully rebuilt over the past weeks, cracked again — every word she said, every motion of deliberate coldness, cutting deeper than he wanted to admit.

She finally glanced at him, just for a fleeting moment, expression unreadable. And then she continued walking, leaving him alone in the hallway, chest tight, heart pounding, caught somewhere between rage, desire, and the helpless pull he couldn’t fight.

__

The days after the long silence unfolded like a carefully choreographed dance, one neither of them had truly chosen. They moved through the apartment complex with the precision of two people avoiding collision yet drawn to the same gravity. Jaehyun lingered a moment longer at the elevator, just enough to catch her glance, and she, of course, looked anywhere but at him.

It became a ritual. Morning encounters by the mailbox, careful nods that said nothing; afternoons in the stairwell where he would lean against the wall, pretending indifference, voice low and teasing, “You really know how to ignore a man, huh?”

She kept her posture rigid, eyes forward, tone clipped. “And you really know how to make yourself unbearable.”

Sometimes, when their shoulders brushed as they passed, both would stiffen, a flash of heat creeping where irritation and longing tangled. Jaehyun would smirk, his lips quirked in mischief, and she would scowl, though her pulse betrayed her. The tension, simmering and relentless, built something neither wanted to name aloud yet couldn’t deny in the quiet of their own thoughts.

It was in those silent, charged moments, in the teasing remarks and accidental touches, that the world outside seemed to blur. Every glance, every sigh, every word weighed heavily, dragging them toward an inevitable collision they both feared.

~

The rain had started quietly, hesitant at first, a soft drum on the rooftops, and then it came down harder, relentless, drumming against the pavement, soaking the streets, turning the world into a blur of silver and dark reflections. She moved quickly, coat clinging to her, hair plastered to her cheeks, boots splashing through shallow puddles. Every step seemed heavy, soaked through, yet her heart pounded faster than her feet could carry her.

And then she saw him—Jaehyun—running toward her, drenched from head to toe, dark hair plastered to his forehead, clothes heavy with water. The world around them faded—the roaring storm became their private stage, lightning illuminating his sharp, urgent features, thunder shaking the ground beneath them.

“I can’t—” she started, voice barely audible over the rain, but he cut her off, voice raw and urgent, echoing through the storm.

“I’ve had enough of pretending! Enough of holding back!”

She froze, heart stuttering, as he skidded to a stop just a few feet away. Water ran down his face, down his neck, soaking the fabric of his coat, yet his eyes burned brighter than the storm.

“I love you,” he shouted, voice cracking with emotion, trembling with all the weight of the last year. “I’ve loved you through all of this—the teasing, the hatred, the distance. And I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry for how I treated you during that year. I should’ve trusted you, believed you… but my sister lied to me, and I let it come between us. I let it hurt you. I… I never wanted to hurt you.”

Her chest tightened. She shook her head, unwilling to let herself believe it, unwilling to give him even the slightest victory. “You’re… imagining things. I… I can’t—I can’t do this,” she whispered, voice trembling against the torrent.

He stepped closer, rain splashing against her, hands hovering just near her, aching to close the gap she insisted on keeping. “Stop lying to yourself! Stop lying to me! I mean it—I love you, and I’m done with the lies and the distance. I can’t wait any longer!”

Her laughter was bitter, lost in the storm. “Pretend? Do you even understand how much I’ve fought? Every second, every heartbeat… I’ve been trying not to fall for you. And now? You think I can just run to you and—say it? I can’t. Not like this!”

Every word of resistance only made his eyes glimmer more with fierce intensity. “And I’ve waited long enough! I don’t care if you fight me, push me away, act like you hate me. I love you. Every insult, every glare, every shove—you made me love you more. Do you understand me? More than I can put into words!”

Her defenses crumbled. Instinctively, her hands rose, tangling in the wet strands of his hair, pulling him closer despite herself. “I… I can’t pretend anymore,” she whispered, voice trembling. “I—”

And then his lips were on hers, urgent, claiming, fire and rain, the tension of a year of hate, teasing, and unspoken desire exploding into a single kiss. She responded immediately, body pressing against his, water plastering their clothes to one another, every inch of her shivering, every heartbeat colliding with his. Every withheld touch, every suppressed confession, every spark of desire ignited in that kiss, consuming all hesitation.

They broke apart just long enough to gasp, foreheads pressed together, breath mingling in the rain. His hands cupped her face, thumbs brushing her wet cheeks. “You… you love me,” he said, almost incredulously.

She nodded, tears mixing with the rain, shivering, a small, exhausted laugh escaping her lips. “Yes… I love you.”

The storm raged around them, lightning splitting the sky, thunder rolling through the city, yet it no longer mattered. The rain soaked them to the bone, but inside, the world had narrowed to the two of them—finally, irrevocably, undeniably together. She pressed herself into him again, lips meeting in another searing kiss, the storm outside merely the echo of the storm of love, relief, and desire that had finally broken free between them.

And this is why I love you, you Obnoxious Little Shit. ;)

[andbie]

off-hours— t.yushi [18+ , MDNI]

he just misses you so much.

pairing :: idol!yushi x fem!reader

genre :: smut, fluff at the end wc :: 922

content :: est rs., unprotected sex, creampie, orgasm, slight dumbification, slight edging, yushi loves a good motorboat, yushi is kinda talking u thru it, also softspoken but a FREAK. andbie time !! :: req by this anon, or maybe i just got heavily inspired with what anon said who knows

you were used to the silence that your shared apartment brings you, especially when your boyfriend is an idol; while you’re just a girlfriend with a regular corporate job.

you were used to cooking meals after dinner hours, so it wouldn’t be cold when your boyfriend comes home. you were used to lounging on the couch or your shared bed till he comes home in different clothes from that morning. you were used to unpacking his bag, putting his practice clothes to the laundry.

you were used to helping him take a shower, do his skin care, and watch him eat your food with a smile on his face, him kissing your forehead as you both tuck yourselves in bed, then have a good night sleep with him.

but not tonight.

oh no not tonight.

you ride his dick with desperation, sweat, your juice, the mess he made with his precum binding you both as one. your panties that have been ripped away from you with his teeth are discarded on the floor, his underwear that has the wettest splotch right on the center is hanging by the edge of the coffee table.

coming home from a week full of concerts in japan, pure exhaustion, is yushi’s tipping point from just breaking down to you, which means to revere you. all it really took was to leave his luggage by the front door, forcing you to walk backwards till you hit the couch, taking off the mask he was wearing, unbuttoning his shirt, unbuckling his belt as he walked to you. that’s all it took.

“missed you,” he pants, “i missed—fuck, you.” he thrusts pathetically into you, as if you aren’t bouncing on his dick yet.

he places one hand on your hip, gripping it tightly yet softly, his other hand cupping your breast, massaging it like it’s his own stressball. 

“keep riding me like that baby…” you hear him say, his eyes making you see through him—like he’s in a different world, his mouth open, spewing words in his mother tongue, to which you partially can understand.

your fingers claw his shoulders, your upper body falling onto him, your tits dropping down to his face. god he loves a good motorboat. he sucks the valley of your tits, both his hands now on your ass, making you bounce on his dick with much fervor.

it feels so damn good, but it is edging you, so bad.

he thrusts in a fast pace—then in a slow pace—then again slow, sloppy. like he’s teasing you, or maybe he’s taking his time. “ushi please…”

just like that—those two words from you were enough to rile yushi up, what else would? cause you’re now laying on your back, your legs wrapped around yushi’s hips, his dick impossibly deeper in you.

but he doesn’t go fast this time, no no no, it’s sloppy, slow, but always so deep. “i’m sorry i was gone for so long baby,” he says, his thumb grazing your cheek. “i’ll make it up to you tonight, tomorrow morning—hmph—evening.” he says as he thrusts sloppily, watching as your mouth opens wide open, your tits bouncing like fucking water balloons.

“missed you so much ushi… so much.” you managed to drawl out, watching dumbly as your boyfriend fucks you tormentingly sloppy to the point it’s making you reach your high.

being your boyfriend—he knew you were about to come, but he just wants to be balls deep in you the entire night. so he switches your positions again, back to you riding him, which confused you, just a bit.

“come on, ride me baby,” he tells you, helping you roll his hips. you haven’t even cummed (or so you thought) but you got dicked down this hard already? what more when he has no intention to stop?

you oblige, riding him with your sore pussy, and he moans. “that’s it baby, you’re doing so well for me.” his soft voice rings into your ears, making you clench around his dick.

he whines as you continue to clench whilst riding him, reaching his high, making him grip your hips tighter as he helps you ride his dick faster, deeper. “you’ll let me cum inside you, right baby?” he asks, pounding into you even with that soft voice of his.

“please ushi…” you beg, a yes in his dictionary.

you reach your climax first, hitting you like brick, your hips buckling on his dick, legs completely tired out, but you help him reach his high, and he soon cums inside of you, saying the nastiest things in his mother tongue, making sure you’re filled to the brim.

you stay on top of him, and he stays inside of you as you both pant, a sheen of sweat covering the both of you, his dick still twitching inside of you. 

he watches as you breathe through your mouth, and he chuckles, “i missed your pretty face.” he says quietly, his eyes filled with nothing but adoration.

“i missed your pretty face too, baby.” you reply back, both of you smiling as he sits up, snaking his arms around your waist, your arms snaking around his neck.

“i hope you don’t mind me looking at your pretty face for the entire night.” he whispers, placing his forehead against yours.

you laugh softly, shaking your head, “anything for my pretty boy.” 

with that, the food you had prepared for his arrival has gone cold, and your shared apartment doesn’t have a single second of silence the entire night.

[fullsunised]

𝙁 𝙐 𝙇 𝙇 𝙎 𝙐 𝙉 𝙄 𝙎 𝙀 𝘿 .

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 ; university! au, fuckbuddies to lovers, slowburn.

𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓 ; na jaemin x oc!

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; it wasn’t rare for na jaemin, the smart and sexy med student to sleep around, but it was rare for him to sleep with someone an hour after meeting them, and it was even rarer for him to go back to the same girl for months on end. He was looking for excuses, just like she was— how long until there was no need for excuses anymore.

𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓 ; 00’ liners of nct, txt, a few members of le sserafim, aespa and itzy.

𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐁𝐘 𝐁𝐈𝐁𝐈.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ; sex, minors please stay away, suggestive as fuck, mentions of literally anything, threesomes, sleeping around in the same friend group, some of the side characters might date or are dating, swearing, shit ton of it, could have smut, jealousy. MINORS PAY ATTENTION TO THE WARNINGS!!

𝐀𝐊𝐈’𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ; I was actually so gassed for ‘after hours’ but I switched phone and Apple sucks so anyways, I’m writing this instead. I’ve got a bit from free time for summer, so I figured I should get back to my roots HAHAHAHAH. Anyways, I included Mark too cause why would I not. Also, cliche ass story ik 😔. I lowkey couldn’t decide between Jaemin and Yeonjun, so like I watched TikTok edits to inspire myself 😋. All loves.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 : 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐍!!