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A 221b ficlet for dorian-rainbow for Winterlock. Prompt was: johnlock, anything related to series 3. I saw you reblogged this gifset and it got me thinking about that scene in The Empty Hearse, right before John is abducted, and what might have been going through John’s head as he oscillated on the pavement. <3
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I meant to come right in, you know. Just come right up the stairs.
I meant to apologize. I shouldn’t have hit you. Repeatedly, anyway. I mean, you deserved it, no question, but--
Jesus, Sherlock. Why’d you have to do it like that? In public, in disguise, like a sodding reality show? I half-expect there to be video of me throttling you up on youtube.
And it’s not--not really--what I wanted to do, even. It would have gone so much differently, I think, had it been private, had you truly been honest about it all, had it been just you and me.
Much differently.
Maybe that’s what you were afraid of.
Ella urged me, time and again. There’s things you wanted to say, but didn’t, she said. Say them now. And I couldn’t--wouldn’t--say them, of course not. What would be the point? You were dead. Everything was over.
But now, somehow, you’re back, and that means something. Yes, it means you’re alive--which all on its own is a bloody miracle to me--but it’s even more than that.
A second chance.
Only a coward would waste it.
So I think I’m ready now. Ready to say those things. The only question is, are you ready to hear them?
Because now that we’re here again, I don’t think I can hold them back.