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Marlene,

You will not have seen this letter, as it has been drafted and written after you have passed away. I would have wanted you to see it, and get to read my feelings, as so I yearn for one more moment of you.

Many things have changed ever since you have passed. For one, I am utterly lonely, and The Order misses your presence. You and James had used to be the brightness in a room as dark as the night. James is not with us anymore, and neither is Lily; they have gone in hiding, along with the Longbottoms.

I have also realized that death is nothing but imminent.

Whether one wants it or not, she does not care. She looms over you and grabs a hold of you when you expect it least, when you want it least. However, that does not mean that we must not live our life to the fullest. That does not mean I will not fight for what I believe is right, and that is avenging you. Even if I do bring death upon me.

Death is imminent, after all; it can be our choice and the own making of our destiny that brings her, though.

Death is bittersweet too, Marlene. Leaving a metal taste in your mouth and your heart aching, lonely and desperate for closure, but the sweetness of what you and them once had imprinted in your body, in your lips, on your veins, in your whole being. You'd never know, though. You never will, because you've been the first one to go.

You told me. Things, in that letter that you have hid under the loose floorboard under our bed.

You told me that I should laugh, that I should fall in love again (you have asked me to, do you remember that? Of course you don't; you're not with me anymore, and I am slowly distanced from you more and more, with every cold night.). And yet, surprisingly for you, though I had expected it, I can't. It has been you, it always has, and there will be no other.

And so, I may bring death upon myself. It is not my intention, of course; but, in order for the sun to rise, it must dawn, and it must be dark first.

Yours, even in death,

Dorcas ♡

#i've written something along the lines of this in the july event i think? only this time it is much longer and i feel like it sounds better #this had sounded better in my head but anyways it's here now come get it white it's fresh /j #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #dorlene #dorlene angst #my writing #dorlene february event #dfe #dorlene letters

To my sunshine,

If you find this, it means that I already have died. I would have wanted to write this in a light-hearted way, but the truth is, death is not light-hearted. She is cruel, she always has been.

We have lost a lot of people ahead of their time.

Benjy and Fenwick, dead lovers of the night, now a mere memory.

Edgar and Cecil, and their children, a family that could have had such a bright future, and that now are buried in a cemetery in Birmingham.

All of us slip away, little by little, dead or torn and broken, and there is, truly, nothing that we can do to stop it.

I have lied to you. Not many times, but what had been supposed to be the most important two truths have been lies. I promised you you would never have to live a life without me. I have lied, therefore you are reading this letter.

I think that this might be even more of a lie, and even more important. I have told you, a night tucked in that cramped apartment that we had all gotten together, that I am not scared of death. I lied. I am. I have always been. And I am scared of being forgotten too, Dorcas. I am scared of leaving the people I love behind, and of being completely, utterly lonely in what awaits me after life.

I am scared of having no effect on this planet. I would rather leave the world a worse place than it used to be than to have done nothing. And that is exactly the case. I have left, and I have changed nothing. Have I been unimportant? No, of course not. Have I been useless? Possibly, but I'd like to think I was not.

Death is imminent, my love. We both know that very well; however, even the mere thought scares me, but I have the slightest bit of closure with the thoughts that I will be missed.

I know you will miss me, I do, do it, mourn me, because love has slipped between your fingers. However, do not dwell on it. Death is forever, yes, but that must not mean that grief is, too. You must move on; you must not stop here, because this is not where you end. I am not here anymore, of course, but you still are.

Fight for me, if you want to. Do not let my death go in vain, and, more importantly than that, do not forget me. Slip out of the war, if you want to. Do not fight anymore, if that is what you want. Battles are still to be fought, however, and this might sound awfully unlike me, your demons are to be fought first. Only come back when you are ready to. Take your time. You have plenty of it.

And, most importantly, do not make the sun set just to see me again. You have so much left to see and do, and my death is but a mere setback. Let yourself live without me. There is happiness where I am not, Dorcas. It is your choice whether you seek for it or not. It is your choice whether you let the darkness consume you.

I love you, Dorcas. I always have, even in death. Death is a parting of ways, not an end.

Farewell, until the sun will rise again! Be strong, Dorcas!

Marlene ☆

#this is in opposition to the dorcas' letter #that i have written a few days ago and i wanted to write marlene's perspective too #also have you seen the opposition in their thoughts regarding death? marlene is scared of it and dorcas is not. it might have been thought #<- to be opposite because marlene has always fought with her whole being for what she believed is right however dorcas saw death as #<- not exactly temporary but as something that was to embrace and accept while it scared marlene because fair #it scares me too sometimes #anyways #dorcas meadowes #marlene mckinnon #dorlene #dorlene letters #my writing #dorlene february event #dfe

Dorcas,

They've found Caradoc. The river Thames. He's dead. I can't say I'm surprised.

I'm sure you've realized that the situation keeos getting worse and worse. Our days are dark, and our nights cut short. I haven't been able to see you in a while. Pity, since you're so pretty ;)

I hope this will end soon. I hope that this will stop, and that I'll be able to love you right again. I hope that I will be able to hold you gently and tell you sweet little nothing, hiding behind a cigarette. I hope that I will be able to kiss you again, the way we used to kiss before. I hope I will be able to love you right once more. Till then, we wait.

War kills lovers. We've seen it many times before. However, we are still alive. We are still alive; our hearts are still beating and our blood still flows through our veins. We wake up every morning, opening our eyes and taking a deep breath in. We're alive. We're alright.

Until we've become soldiers, I didn't appreciate my life much. Of course, I was happy to wake up in the morning and to be alive, but I considered my life something endless, something infinite. When I started fighting, I've realized that life is something that is granted to us, and not to be taken for granted.

Love is all the same. However, love is endless. Love has no barrier such as life or death, and that gives me hope. I will be able to love you beyond my grave, Dorcas. I may be a ghost, or a hallucination, or a figment of what I had once been, but I will still be hopelessly devoted to you. You will mourn for me, of course; but I will still be there, watching over you, loving you. Death can't stop love, my sunshine. And I will love you, no matter what it takes.

There are pizza leftovers in the fridge. I left you a pack of cigarettes on the counter. Don't finish them until I am home. Take care, Dorcas, and do not overwork yourself. You're still needed, as much as I am.

James says hi.

With love,

Marlene ♡

#and i am back with marlene's box of letters! oh my god i love writing letters. there's something so special and intimate about them #i hope you've noticed that at the start of the letter the way she writes is a bit more lighthearted and it becomes graver and more #<- metaphorical as it goes on #she's trying to be lighthearted and not sound worried but it doesn't really work because she *is* worried about what might happen to them #hhh anyways #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #dorlene #dorlene letters #marlene's box of letters #my writing #dorlene february event #dfe

Dorcas,

Once you find out what is right, you have to fight for it. It is what we do, after all, isn't it? Fighting for the right cause, unaware of what it may bring upon us. We'll keep on fighting no matter what; this is what we do. I wish it will not be what we both think it might be; I am not ready to die, love.

I'm not ready to die. I'm not ready to be buried, to be dead, to be gone. I don't want to be forgotten. That's why I wrote all of these letters, and I will let you find them, and read them, and not forget me.

This letter has been written in May, 1980. Lily is very pregnant, and James is extremely excited to meet their child. They're having a son, did you know that? So, you were right; I thought it would be a daughter. His name is Hari, by the way, and Sirius and I are going to be the godparents. (I just came back from their place (James started crying when he asked us to be the godparents. Sirius said he's being a dramatic tosser), and I am now writing this letter to you.) Don't worry, you and Remus are next. They'd love to have you, if you want to.

I have been thinking, recently. About many things, thinking and overthinking, thinking and rethinking. We don't have much left; whether you want to accept that or not, the fate is not on our side, this time. I love you. Would you want to get married? We could have a little ceremony, and a party. We could finally be united, forever, like we've always dreamed. How's that sound? (No, James is not going to officiate it; he's going to start crying.)

We don't have much time left. Why not make the most of it? Why not do the things we've always wanted to do?

I'll be leaving for the week. Dumbledore's sent me off with Caradoc, said he doesn't trust him anymore. He's shaken, of course, after Benjy's death. Poor bastard needs a break. But the war won't end on its own, and so, he's still fighting. An Achilles of some sort, you know? Fighting to avenge his dead lover. I hope we won't have to do that.

However, I do hope that, when I will come home, you will wait for me, and we will get one more night of love. One mord night before the sun rises, one more night before it all ends.

Feed the dogs for me, please. Don't forget to put the shoes out; Fergie has gotten quite the nasty habit, he's started chewing them. And don't miss me too much; I will be back. I always am.