Marlene,
You will not have seen this letter, as it has been drafted and written after you have passed away. I would have wanted you to see it, and get to read my feelings, as so I yearn for one more moment of you.
Many things have changed ever since you have passed. For one, I am utterly lonely, and The Order misses your presence. You and James had used to be the brightness in a room as dark as the night. James is not with us anymore, and neither is Lily; they have gone in hiding, along with the Longbottoms.
I have also realized that death is nothing but imminent.
Whether one wants it or not, she does not care. She looms over you and grabs a hold of you when you expect it least, when you want it least. However, that does not mean that we must not live our life to the fullest. That does not mean I will not fight for what I believe is right, and that is avenging you. Even if I do bring death upon me.
Death is imminent, after all; it can be our choice and the own making of our destiny that brings her, though.
Death is bittersweet too, Marlene. Leaving a metal taste in your mouth and your heart aching, lonely and desperate for closure, but the sweetness of what you and them once had imprinted in your body, in your lips, on your veins, in your whole being. You'd never know, though. You never will, because you've been the first one to go.
You told me. Things, in that letter that you have hid under the loose floorboard under our bed.
You told me that I should laugh, that I should fall in love again (you have asked me to, do you remember that? Of course you don't; you're not with me anymore, and I am slowly distanced from you more and more, with every cold night.). And yet, surprisingly for you, though I had expected it, I can't. It has been you, it always has, and there will be no other.
And so, I may bring death upon myself. It is not my intention, of course; but, in order for the sun to rise, it must dawn, and it must be dark first.
Yours, even in death,
Dorcas ♡













