There’s really no proper way to write these, is there? They’re just sad and horrible and rip your heart out and make you wonder why. Well I’m going to tell you why. I was never really good when it came to speaking so maybe writing it all down will make more sense. By now you or mum has probably found me in the tub, wrists slit so deep there’s no fixing my mistake and you’re probably wondering why.
I did it because I loved you too much, Jasper.
I loved you too much and it was ruining me and it was ruining you. I could have just as easily have run away but I felt as though the problem would just be chasing me for the rest of my life, no matter where I would go it’d be nagging me in the back of my mind. I love Jasper. I love Jasper. I love Jasper.
There’s a myth that says two star-crossed lovers who died for each other will come back as twins in another life. Maybe that’s why I loved you so much. Maybe that’s true and this persons love spilled through to this life time.
Now you can be with Cassie though. You always really liked her anyway. I’ll admit, she was a very pretty girl, I just wanted you to love me. And you did. But I was also scared you would stop. You probably will eventually… Just don’t stop loving me so much that you don’t even tell your future children about their Uncle Harry. Tell them I was superhero okay? If you ever have kids tell them that they had an uncle who was a superhero that everyone loved. Tell them that I saved the day, saved peoples lives even though in the end I couldn’t save mine.
I don’t think you ever really understood how much I love you. I love you so much that it literally makes my heart swell up with sadness sometimes, I love you so much that whenever I see you I can feel myself falling in love all over again, I love you you so much that I would rearrange the stars however you’d like them just so that you’d be happy. Jasper… I love you so much that I would kill myself for you. I love you. You were all that I could think about. You are literally the most important person in my sorry life and I am so sorry I couldn’t be better person for you. You always thought so highly of me, your baby brother. You thought I was perfect…
I was just a boy who was really sad on the inside. I was just a boy who was so very sad because he was so in love with his brother.