Heard First Love's Name Being Called in the Street AU
Pairing: Neil Perry/Todd Anderson (Anderperry)
Words: ~900
Tags: future fic, canon, mention of character death, but ultimately harmless
Todd walked down the street, headphones covering his ears. A dark green hat sat on top of his head - covering his balding hair and chunky headphones from the chilly December air. A big, puffy coat wrapped around his suit as he strolled down the city streets. The lights strung on the New York light posts gave the city a certain feel of romance.
The voices in his ears kept talking, a soft female voice streaming through his ear canal. She talked about books that she read and other important news. The wars in the middle east, the recession, China's economy and how it would affect the US. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, nodding along with the delivered news. They told the news, but did little to offer ways in which to fix the dilemmas. They just sat back and waited to see what happened.
"Neil!"
Todd slid one side of the headphones off of his ear, the woman's voice fading into the background. He hadn't heard that name in years, hadn't spoken it in years. He stopped cold in his tracks and looked behind him, where he heard the name come from. People bumped into him, but he stood in place, looking for the source.
He looked for the shaggy brown hair, sharp smile, and endless enthusiasm. He looked for the knowing brown eyes, the twiggy arms, and passionate voice. He looked for the crooked teeth, the mangled smile, and lively chatter. He looked for the boy that stole his heart long ago.
"Neil!"
He was thrown into a distant memory. Being chased around his room, jumping onto his bed, the green comforter crunching under his body weight. It slid as he jumped on the floor and his roommate jumped up behind him. Todd yelped, rushing towards the blue comforter as his roommate gained speed. The bubble of laughter that enclosed their room. The moment frozen in time where Todd felt like he could share his poetry.
When he spoke in front of the class and his roommate sat right in front of him, looking at him like he found the key to life. Todd had said nonsense, none of it made sense. He was talking like a madmen in front of the class and something beautiful came from it. That never happened to Todd. It was a mistake, a happenstance that would likely never come again. But his roommate looked at him like he created the Sun in front of the class, his eyes filled with the makings of the universe. They didn't talk about it later. Neither one mentioned the unintended magic that took place in front of the classroom.
The day where his heart broke for the first time and he sat numb on the walkway above the courtyard, letting the November wind nip at his face. His couldn't feel the tip of his nose and his cheeks were beginning to turn the same shade of wind-burn red. The desk set sat just beyond his feet; too far to kick, too far to grab. He crossed his arms over his knees, only looking up when a pair of shoes stopped by the desk set. It was his roommate, that ever-present smile stuck to his face, unaware of the emotional trauma he had been put through. Once he understood the situation, his personality shrank, he squatted down to Todd's eye level, he spoke soft and purposeful. He listened without contempt and didn't put blame on his parents. He picked up the plastic wrapped desk set and examined it, play observing all the little gadgets that were included. He told Todd that it needed to be set free, had to join the world of wild desk sets. He handed it off to him, watched him as he flung the desk set as high and as far as he could, watched his shoulders relax and a smile return to his face, watched him laugh and clap his hands together. They walked inside, his roommate covering his shaking hands with his own.
The day where his heart broke and never healed. When his roommate had been carted away by his parents, confiscated after his performance in the school production of A Midsummer Nights Dream. The room was colder, the blue comforter left untouched. Todd pulled his blanket around himself, glancing at the open window, wishing upon the snow-speckled sky that his roommate would come back to him. He wished on a star that his best friend, his only true friend would come back to him.
His heart broke when he was woken up in the middle of the night, tear tracks etched red and angry into Charlie's cheeks. His eyes were dull and empty, obscured further by the lack of light. The only thing that illuminated the corner of his body was the reflection of the outdoor lights against the snow piled outside the window.
"Neil's dead."
Neil's dead.
Neil's dead.
"Neil!" the voice called again. "Wait up."
Todd shook his head, clearing his thoughts of the bright smile, the thin frame, the soft press of lips. The late night talks, warm embrace, fingers skimming soft hair vanished again, repressed to the very back of his brain. He put his headphone back over his ear and kept walking.
I can just see them all standing hollow-hearted in the hall, and there’s this moment, you know, of someone has to tell Todd.
And they all kind of look at each other, maybe they look back at whatever adult told them, and no one says anything. Then Charlie, who hadn’t said a word since Knox banged on his door in tears, speaks up in a voice calmer than anyone had ever heard from him: I’ll do it.
So they’re all standing at Neil and Todd’s door, except now it’s just Todd’s door. And they’re all watching him sleeping, the last good moments of his youth ticking by. Then Charlie turns toward them, telling them to stay there, then walks carefully to Todd’s side. He kneels down, shakes Todd, and sends his entire world crashing down around him. Neil’s dead.
Todd gets up, and they all watch carefully as he slips on his slippers. He looks back at Charlie, who’s eyes hold him like a wounded animal. Yet both the boys are more still in this one moment than anyone had ever seen them. Like they were the center of a planet that had stopped moving, and would never do so again. Todd’s voice is quiet. What happened?
Charlie doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know exactly how he knows, that this is the truth that will ruin Todd more than he is already ruined, but he does. He doesn’t want to tell him, struck by the strange urge to protect his friend even a second longer. Todd looks at him, eyes calm and clear. And Charlie thinks that somehow, Todd already knows. That he knew the moment he looked at Charlie. One of the other boys speaks up, voice tripping over the words. He killed himself.
He puts on his robe and walks outside, past their floor of open doors, woken by Cameron’s big mouth. He steps out into the snow, and the others look at each other a moment. Then Charlie pushes forward, darting out after him. The others follow. We’ll fetch him, sir.
Todd is taking a leisurely stroll, staggering in the uneven snow, as if he can’t feel the cold biting its way through his thin clothes. He gazes about him as if he had never seen the world before today. The blankets are new and untouched, perfect white encasing the grounds. It almost aches in its ironic loveliness. The others follow behind, careful not to get to close. Charlie pushes ahead but keeps his distance, gesturing for them to stay back. They look at each other. They can feel it, that whatever is coming is to terrible to put into words, to horrific to express in any measured way. Todd turns to look at them, and his eyes are full of so much innocent wonder that their hearts crack open. It’s so beautiful.
Then he throws up. And the spell is broken and they fling themselves on him, as if by clutching him to them they can shield him from this cataclysmic truth, this awful absence of one who should’ve been there. Charlie picks up some snow and puts it against Todd’s mouth as if to stop the panic throwing itself off of him, and the only sound is his ugly choking, as if he doesn’t know how to breathe in a world without Neil. And they’re saying things but they’re just words and all of them know this. It’s alright, Todd.
And he’s hurling accusations, broken and ferocious. They don’t make sense and they tell him so, but he’s insistent. It was his father, it was his father, it was his father. Charlie remembers Neil’s face when his father forbade him from the school annual, and he thinks that Todd is right. He doesn’t say anything, just listens to the others. And the other’s look at Charlie and the truth of Todd’s panic is written across his face and they wonder how they never saw it there before. It was his father.
Todd jerks away, suddenly, unexpectedly, and they lose their grip on him. And they reach for him, desperate to pull him back from this ledge and keep him, to save him from the full scope of his catastrophic grief. They watch as he stumbles and falls, and staggers and slips and falls and runs. They start for him, but Charlie holds up his hand. On his face is an awful understanding, a look of such worldly weight that they hadn’t thought the burning rebel capable of. Leave him be.
And they do, they watch as he stumbles and slips and staggers again and again. And then he screams. A harrowing expression of raw emotion exploding from his heart because it was to big for his body to hold. An expression of a loss so gaping and ruinous that there were no words to describe it. And this moment the others realize something they hadn’t before. And it isn’t the cold that has it’s hooks in their bones, but the knowledge that somewhere in between those two boys had been something like love, and that some losses were bigger than other losses. The quiet world echoes with the sound of a ruined name.
And then he stops. He staggers out to the edge of the dock, and sways there for a long time. It’s such an intimate moment that the other’s find themselves turning away. Charlie tells them to go in, that he’ll wait out here for Todd. And he does. He waits right where he stands, waits the minutes or hours it takes until Todd comes back. He watches Todd standing alone, and quietly resolves to ensure that the other boy is never alone. Not for awhile, anyway. There’s something achingly lovely about Todd on the dock in the snow, that he wishes he knew the words to capture it.
As long as he lives, he thinks, he’ll never forget the sight of Todd in the snow.
So, you guys remember how DPS Freestyle Swim technically ended three days ago? Well, I wrote this during it and didn’t get around to editing it because I’m lazy and busy so... here’s a super long fic based on Anna’s prompt (x) about Ginny and Gerard being step-siblings who hate each other.
Length: 6k+
Warning: M rated. Minor violence (punching and tackling), blood mention, sibling rivalry, misogynistic slurs (like two or three tops), lgbtq slur
[find it on ao3 (x) or fanfiction.net (x)]
Ginny came home from lacrosse practice exhausted and dying from the heat. The summer conditioning Coach Haskett had them running was unbearable and surely kicking her ass. She clomped up the stairs, dragging her grass-stained equipment with her. She stored it, much like her other sweaty clothes, in the very back of her closet until she had the stomach to get her father to drag it out a couple hours later.
She came into her room and was startled at the boy that was lounging on her pink bedspread. Ginny jumped, causing the equipment to clatter to the ground. She stared at the boy, no larger than her 5’9” figure and certainly no more muscular. He had light brown hair and an obnoxious smirk underneath his crooked nose.
“Who are you and what are you doing in my room?” Ginny demanded, quickly picking up her defenses.
The boy merely laughed. “Haven’t you heard? I’m your new step-brother.”
Her eyes narrowed. Already Ginny hated him
“That doesn’t explain why you’re in my bed.”
The boy sat up, lifting his head from her decorated pillows and crossing his legs in an Indian position. Ginny glared at the way his shoes left little marks of dirt. He gave her another dastardly smile. “Haven’t you also heard? Out of the goodness of your heart, you’ve decided to change rooms with me.
“What are you talking about? I haven’t met you yet, why would I give you my room?” Ginny snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Well, the old guest room that they’re trying to put me in is way too small for my stuff and Chet’s smells like toe fungus so I figured the best fit for me would be your room. Plus, while you’ve been at your fancy lacrosse camp or whatever for the past two weeks, I’ve been making myself comfy.” He picked a hair off his shirt, inspecting it for a moment before turning to face her again. “Oh, and my mother already ordered paint and a new bedsheet so I wouldn’t try and argue with them.”
Ginny looked at him like he was stupid. “What makes you think they’d believe you? We’ve never actually met until today and the only time they tried to introduce us at the wedding you were off in the bathroom throwing up or something.”
“I was actually- you know what, it’s not important,” the guy waved off. “They’ve already put my plans into motion so you may want to start picking out a new color scheme for your room.”
Ginny scoffed. She couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy that claimed to be her brother. He was a stranger living in her house and apparently in her room. Above all, he was obnoxious.
“Do you have a name or should I just refer to you as asshole for the duration of our parents’ marriage?” Ginny grilled, sinking her weight into her right hip. She looked at him expectantly.
He let out a low whistle before letting out a small laugh. “I’m Charlie. I’m assuming by the writing above your mirror that your name is Virginia?”
Her eyes narrowed. “I go by Ginny.”
“All right, Ginny. I look forward to living with you.”
It was a dismissal and she knew it. She had half a mind to take her lacrosse stick and bash in his obnoxious, smarmy smile with it. Instead, she held her breath and cleared the room, dragging her stuff down the hall and to the old guest bedroom.
– x –
After an extremely sweaty day at lacrosse, Ginny had taken great care to get her laundry done as soon as possible. She scooped the whites out of the bin and threw in her official Ridgeway lacrosse practice jersey. They were a new addition this season and the coach was very particular about how he wanted to have his players look. Which, is why Ginny released the loudest scream when saw the pink-red stains while moving it to the dryer.
She took a death grip on the jersey as she marched upstairs, determination thundering in every step. She first knocked on Chet’s door. He came to the door right away, fearful that something wrong had happened. When he saw Ginny’s irate expression and stained jersey his countenance relaxed and his shoulders sagged.
“Did you do this?” she asked, holding the jersey up to his eye level. “Did you put something red in the laundry hamper?”
“Since when do I put my laundry anywhere besides my floor?”
He had a point.
Ginny stalked away from his room, muttering some lame response under her breath. Then she remembered: she had another brother. A brother that had no clue how anything worked in the household and would probably mess something up like that to fuck with someone else, namely her. With a fire in her step, she bounded across the hallway and banged on the door with exuberance.
She waited, energy abound as Charlie took his time getting off his computer then off his bed and across the room to open the door. He swung it open languidly, staring at her with a mild interest.
“Can I help you-”
“You did this to the laundry, didn’t you?” Ginny asked, thrusting the jersey into his face.
“What are you talking about?” He batted the jersey away, slightly irritated.
“Did you put anything in the hamper today?”
“Yeah, I had a pile of clothes that I brought down this morning. What’s your point?”
“There was a red pair of boxer shorts that got put in the whites. Chet doesn’t do laundry so it has to be you,” Ginny accused.
“Maybe it’s your father’s.” Charlie smirked, leaning against the doorway.
“My dad doesn’t wear a small.” Ginny smirked back, folding her arms over her chest.
“I have a narrow waist, sue me.” He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not my fault you didn’t look through the laundry before starting your load – I thought women were supposed to be good at housework or something.”
He turned to his room, a smile nearly splitting his face down the middle as he closed the door behind him. Ginny remained at in the hallway, paralyzed by anger as she decided whether or not she was going to dignify his sexist comment with a response. She let out a short, frustrated shout before stomping back down the stairs to see if she could bleach away her problems.
– x –
She retaliated the next day by placing her sweaty socks underneath his mattress.
– x –
The next incident with Charlie happened less than a week later. He had already started repainting her room, covering the pastel color with a darker version of mahogany. It was supposed to look regal and powerful, but Ginny thought it looked stupid with the white bedframe and matching dresser set. Plus, with her strict lacrosse schedule she only had time to move out half of her stuff.
She came home exhausted and tired once again. She slumped up the stairway, dragging her practice gear behind her. Ginny passed by the trash bags in the hall without a thought until she spotted a box peeking out of one. The blue was familiar and as she inspected further, she saw that it was her trinket box. Outraged, she yanked it from the black bag and gasped when she saw that it was entirely full of stuff that was in her drawers. She dropped to the floor, placing the box to the side as she shuffled around the contents. It was true: these were all Ginny’s things.
She stood up, a fire in her eyes as she stomped to the doorway down the hall. Ginny peered in, looking to see if Charlie was there. He was in fact sitting at her desk, leafing through the contents of what was undoubtedly her diary. She stormed into the room, heading straight towards him. Hurricanes never moved so fast or seemed so dangerous.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” Ginny screeched, clobbering to get the book in her hands. Charlie looked at her with wide eyes and then snatched the book to his chest before getting up and moving out of her way. They began to dance around the room – Charlie leaping from place to place while Ginny darted after him, gaining little by little.
“You go into my room,” Ginny screamed, “and steal my stuff. You throw it out like it’s garbage IN garbage bags.” Her pitch hit an all-time high as she began shrieking. “And now you’re going through my DIARY! I have punched people for less!”
“I know,” Charlie called behind him, “you punched Peter Gibbons for saying you have thunder thighs.”
Ginny let out a pure scream before throwing herself at Charlie’s figure, barging into him just as he was about to turn so her head went straight into his gut, and she forced him onto the ground. It was probable she outweighed him, but with the amount of force that accumulated from momentum alone she was able to knock the wind right out of him. Charlie lay on his back, gasping for air that wouldn’t enter his lungs. Ginny took the chance to straddle his middle and punch him square in the face. Charlie gasped louder, unable to find air. Ginny punched once, twice more before getting off of him. He looked broken on the ground as she stood, towering over him.
He let in a deep breath, almost crying by the time the air had fully entered his lungs. Ginny took the opportunity to stomp on his stomach with all her body weight before reaching down to grab the diary. She watched him writhe on the floor for a second before turning away, nose in the air.
“Don’t you read through my diary again or I may draw blood next time.”
– x –
“Is your sister always such a bitch?” Charlie asked, his swollen eyes glued to the television. He and Chet were playing Halo while their parents were at work, one of the few things they could actually bond over.
“Depends. What did you do?” Chet retorted, unsurprised.
“Nothing. Just made her switch rooms… May have gone through her stuff,” Charlie muttered as an explosion sounded over the television. He could barely see the flecks of yellow and orange and most of the figures on the screen were a blur, but he would take it over having his eyes swollen shut any day.
“Sounds like she’ll get over it. She can be SO overdramatic sometimes.” Chet rolled his eyes. He piped up, recounting, “This one time I was throwing this party – total party of the year, you would have went nuts – and she got pissed at me because some couple went into her room. They spilled some alcohol on the floor, but she was mostly pissed because they fucked on her bed. Like, it’s not hard to wash your sheets. Just get over it.”
“Hopefully she didn’t personally hunt them down,” Charlie said miserably.
“No, she was at her best friend’s house. She would have totally shit herself if she was there.” Chet laughed.
Charlie’s disposition brightened considerably. “Hey, I have an idea… Next time she does something shitty we can get back at her by throwing some keg rager. My mom would totally get your dad out for the night and probably even buy the alcohol. All you would have to do is get people to show up.”
“I like where your head is at, man,” Chet praised, rattling off his gun. “I’ll use any excuse to party and if it pisses off Ginny… Well, that’s just a bonus.”
The two smiled to themselves, too wrapped up in the game. The afternoon continued like that, making jokes about school or people (mainly Ginny) until Charlie’s eyes couldn’t take the glare of the television any longer.
He put down the controller and rubbed his eyes, pain shooting through the sore muscles. They strained to remain open and Charlie knew he had to go take a nap or something. He needed a good nap by the way this week was going.
– x –
Ginny was up to her knees in stuff that she had to do by the time the weekend rolled around. Due to her busy athletic schedule she hadn’t been able to keep up with the demands that her new step-brother presented. He had finished redecorating his room by the time his eyes turned back to normal, even painting the furniture some dark brown color. The mirror and dresser she had spent years staring at and using were no longer recognizable. The dresser in her new room was no better.
She could see how Charlie would have a problem with the setup of the guest bedroom. The drawers were shallower because arguably guests would not need as much clothing space. This plus the down-sized closet did not help her current situation of having two trash bags full of clothing lying around. In her head, she cursed her father for finding someone else to marry that had such an obnoxious brat as a child. She also cursed herself for not standing up for herself when she still had the chance to do so because now she was forced to come home every day to an unfamiliar bedroom that was once home.
Ginny picked up a bag of clothing, carrying it over to her closet. She jammed as many clothes as she could from the back to the front, filling up the space with sweaters and dresses among some of her finer pieces of clothing. She ended up filling the closet with most of the bag, but she knew the dresser wouldn’t sustain the amount that she had in her other one. So she began to fill up the top shelves, flinging article after article, caring less as each thing flew up. Ginny looked up at the shelves resentfully, huffing from the jumping she had to do towards the end. She was halfway done.
She began placing the remainder of her clothes in her drawers, placing all her skirts neatly in one drawer and her slacks in another. She kept her underwear in one drawer, although she debated whether or not to hide them in case Charlie went sneaking around when she was away. He seemed the type. Ginny ignored the protective thoughts in her head because she really just needed to get this move over with. Which was kind of funny because she shouldn’t have even had to move in the first place. She was almost done.
As she was unloading the last handfuls of clothing Chet popped his head in her new doorway. She wanted to throw something at him, but generally he could be pretty nice so she decided to ignore him in favor of her work. Ginny made minimal acknowledgements as he began talking, only perking up when she heard the word “party.”
“What?” Ginny asked, breaking eye contact from her dresser.
“I said, we’re throwing a party this weekend so that Charlie can meet some of the kids from school. I mean, he’s only here for the summer before he goes off to college, but it would be good for him to meet some people,” Chet supplied, remaining in the doorway.
“But I’m supposed to have my sleepover with Chris this weekend!” Ginny cried. He was totally being unfair. She had been planning this for more than a week.
“Well, I already called my friends, but Chris is more than welcome to party with us – she’s freaking hot!”
“Get out of my room,” Ginny deadpanned, placing the last sock in her drawer. She was done.
– x –
Saturday night was absolutely wild. At least half of the graduating class and a majority of the upperclassmen were in attendance at Chet’s introductory party. Party rock was blasting through the speakers and alcohol was flowing freely, which was sure to get the cops called on them at some point; it wouldn’t be the first time that the authorities had shown up at the Danbury’s front porch.
Ginny tried to ignore the pounding music reverberating the floorboards even though they were making manicures super hard. She looked at Chris apologetically, silently hoping that she was still having a good time.
“All right, now you do me,” Chris said eagerly, displaying her fingers. “I want the light pink color.”
Ginny smiled. “Okay, okay. Just give my fingers a moment to dry.”
Downstairs, Charlie and Chet were throwing back beers. They laughed and clinked glasses as they traded stories of their previous flings. Chet recounted the time that he slept with the most popular girl at school during prom and then went back to his date and slept with her after the dance. His friends hooped and hollered, slapping him on the back. Chet was beaming.
Charlie leaned into him. “Do you want to fuck with Ginny?”
“What? Dude, no! She’s my sister,” Chet exclaimed, looking at Charlie like he had three heads.
“Not like that, Jesus. Do you want to mess with her head?” Charlie explained, blaming alcohol for Chet’s reaction.
“Oh, sure! Yeah, that’d be great.” Chet nodded his head along, only slightly distracted by all the stimulants around him.
“Cool. I want you to gather up all the drunk people hooking up by the stairs. I’ll meet you there in like, five minutes,” Charlie said before patting Chet’s shoulder. He split after that, walking around the house. He interrupted people’s hot and heavy make-out sessions, saying that there were free rooms upstairs. They followed him without hesitation, anxious to get to that next step. Once he had a significant amount of people, he brought them over to the stairs.
“Chet? Why did you only get one couple?” Charlie asked, a little disappointed by the lackluster couple Chet had beside him.
“They were the only people mackin’ by the stairs, bro.” Chet shrugged.
Charlie held back his groan. “Whatever. Get in line because is going to be good.”
He then called for the people to follow him. The small group ascended the stairs like a hoard of elephants, clomping over the carpeted floorboards. Charlie led them down the hallway and waited outside of the door for a second, hand poised on the handle. He didn’t hear any rustling behind the door, but he figured they would be in there. So he pushed open the door.
“All right, come on in,” Charlie called as he pushed open the door, eyes on the crowd. The first couple people followed his instructions, stepping into the room. A satisfied smile filled his face when he heard the unexpected shrieks of two girls, but was not prepared for the scene that was waiting for him because there was his step-sister wearing only her bra beside her likewise shirtless friend.
“Holy mother of dykes,” Charlie muttered.
Ginny’s eyes were wide as she took in the people flooding her room, but when she saw who was at the root of it all her eyes hardened instantaneously. “You’re fucking dead, Dalton.”
She leapt from the bed (Charlie noting that she had her skirt on) before charging the door. Ginny had to push through the throng of people streaming into her room, using her athleticism to dodge and push past as many people as possible. When she got halfway to him, Charlie realized what was happening and booked it.
“Charlie! You get your ass back here so I can plant it in the ground!” Her voice resonated against the walls, effectively overlapping the pounding music. Making his heart beat faster as he sprinted throughout the house. He tried to think of places to hide, but it just seemed as though wherever he went her voice was just getting closer. Profanities were being shot every which way around him and it was all he could do to escape it.
He charged out the back door, quickly followed by Ginny. There were hollers made as Ginny shot outside, clearly towards her lack of attire. She was completely and utterly pissed and sprinting her hardest, allowing her to gain enough on him that she could tackle him to the ground. She jumped on his back, causing the both of them to collide heavily into the ground. They both laid there for a few seconds, shocked and aching already. Ginny was the first to pop up and pounced on her stepbrother. She punched him in the face, making sure to hit the same places as before. She hit him in the chest and made sure to get a good smack in his ribs.
He cried out at the roughest punches, but had the dignity to try and fight with people around. So he blocked one of the punches aimed towards his sternum and socked her once in the face. She immediately fell back, body and legs spilling everywhere.
The two bounced up from the ground, Charlie already bleeding heavily from his face. They stared each other down and Charlie dropped low. Ginny mimicked his stance, figuring they would go around in circles once or twice, but Charlie had other ideas. Before she could side step him, Charlie was sprinting towards her, yelling something illegibly at the top of his lungs. He made contact with her, hitting her square in the chest as he ran with her. Ginny was helpless as she molded into his body, the momentum bringing the two of them together as he ran into their underground pool.
Charlie thrashed underwater, partially due to the fact that his stepsister yanked on his hair and partially due to the fact that chlorine was attacking his open wounds. Ginny broke surface before him, but made sure to stay around to immediately splash water in his face when he popped back up.
“Ahh! What the fuck?” Charlie screamed, trying to wipe away the water.
“You’re an asshole!” Ginny screamed back, making a motion to pull out her own hair. “You’re ruining my life and you don’t even seem to care. God, I fucking hate you. I hate you, okay? And goddmanit, my nipples are going to be hard when I leave.
“I just can’t believe how selfish you are. You took my room, you messed up all my shit, and now you fucking outed me. I can’t… I can’t believe that someone as awful as you has to be in my life now. So, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck you, Charlie Dalton.”
She swam to the edge and got out, leaving Charlie to only gaze after her a moment.
“Well… Yeah! Fuck you, too,” Charlie called after even though he knew it was futile. He watched her walk inside, the crowd around them parting like she was Moses.
Charlie watched as the crowd dispersed shortly afterward, finding zero interest in his state. So he found his way to the edge as well, pushing himself up and out of the water. He shook out his hair and mumbled under his breath to no one in particular, “Bitch.”
How did they let it get this bad?
– x –
Ginny had been ice cold to him, making it known that she was less than pleased without using a single word. If she was in a better mood Charlie would have shamelessly used her sexuality against her, making small references in private or even at the dinner table; it would be the bargaining chip of the century. Alas, Charlie figured that if he mentioned anything about it she would murder him in the middle of the night, which she was probably going to do anyways. In order to avoid his inevitably soon death, he avoided her at all costs.
Which was going to be harder with their parents’ big announcement.
“We’re going on vacation!”
– x –
By the weekend their family-sized vehicle was packed to the brim. Fitting five people’s worth of luggage was a feat when someone packed as heavily as their new mother did. Luckily, Chet eased the difficultly by packing four outfits for their two week long vacation.
“Why do we have to go on vacation?” Chet whined as his father closed the trunk with finality. “Why can’t I just stay here and play football with the guys?”
“Chet, the last time you were home alone two separate police squads came and the firemen made an appearance at some point. I’m positive you’ve nixed your home alone privileges.” His reminder caused Chet to pout, but he continued. “And, your new mother wanted us to do a bit of bonding before you and Charlie go off to college.”
“But Charlie and I get along just fine,” Chet whined. “We could totally stay here and you could take Ginny and have a nice family vacation. Problem solved!”
“Problem not solved, Chet. Get in the car.”
Chet groaned, throwing his head back, but got in the car nonetheless. He squeezed himself in between Charlie and Ginny, receiving at least one glare. They were going to be cramped for the next few hundred miles and no one was looking forward to it.
“Why couldn’t we just fly again?” Chet whined.
“Yeah, I’m feeling a bit claustrophobic,” Ginny called up before elbowing her brother in the side.
“Plane tickets are expensive,” their father replied easily.
“There’s nothing a little road trip mix won’t fix!” their stepmother laughed, punching in a CD. The kids groaned in the backseat. A lot of them had their own music devices, and Chet and Ginny had no idea what kind of music taste their stepmother had.
An up-beat song from the nineteen-sixties started playing, filling up the car with more glee than had been felt all week. The teens felt weird sulking in such happy music and the new Mrs. Danbury let them know exactly how she felt.
“Charlie, I know this is one of your favorite songs. So I’m going to start this over and you better sing along!” She called to the back before reaching over to go to the begging of the track. It crackled over the speakers once again and this time Charlie joined in.
“You broke my heart,” he mouthed, “because I couldn’t dance. You didn’t even want me around, but now I’m back to let you know I can really shake ‘em down.”
The music picked up and Charlie began shimmying in his seat. Chet turned fully to watch, a laugh barely contained behind his curled lip. He began outright laughing when Charlie and his mom full force started to sing along, switching off between lead and back-up vocals.
“Do you love me now.. that I.. can dance?” The two jammed out. “Watch me work now!”
Their chair dancing continued, this time picking up in intensity. By the time the song was over, Chet was in hysterics and Ginny had a slight smile on her face. They all shared a brief moment of peace before the next song played.
This song was well known by all and was expressed by the eager look of the children. It was a product of their parent’s age, but the timeless classic produced by ABBA would be known throughout the generations.
Charlie and his mother sang the opening verse, setting the scene with their lower tones. As they progressed through it, the song became more vibrant and it caused Ginny and even Chet to join in by the time the chorus came around.
“Dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen!” they chorused, slightly off key. “Dancing queen, feel the beat of the tambourine! You can dance, you can jive. Having the time of your life. Oh, see that girl? Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen!”
– x –
Four hours later and the family had arrived at the beach house they were renting just off the coast of Maine. They had gotten all of their stuff out of the trunk and were deciding on where people would sleep, namely the teenagers.
“I say that we put Ginny on the couch,” Charlie announced. Chet called in agreement.
“But Chet and I are actually related,” Ginny argued. “It would make more sense that we would share the room – we always do.”
“No, usually you get the room and I sleep on the couch,” Chet corrected.
“I like that arrangement. We should keep it.” Ginny gave him a look.
“Ginny, honey, you’re being unreasonable. Maybe you should let the boys have the bedroom this time – you can have it next time,” her stepmother said. She placed her hands on Ginny’s shoulders, her painted nails beginning to dig into the skin.
“Fine.” Ginny squirmed out from under her touch. “If everyone is dead set against my happiness, I’ll sleep on the couch!”
She stomped across the room and threw her bags on the floor and then herself on the couch. There was nothing else to do but pout and pretend that she was lifeless, if only to make herself forget the large amounts of stress that was sure to accompany this vacation.
– x –
For the most part, Charlie and Ginny did a good job of not getting in close contact with each other. Charlie spent most of his day splashing in the water with Chet, alternating between boogie boarding and seeing who could swim out the farthest. Whereas Ginny spent a majority of her day indoors reading or watching television; she wasn’t in an “outdoors” mood.
Her family had brought up the idea of s’mores when the sun was just lowering towards the horizon. It left a soft orange glow upon the water’s surface and brought to life the warm colors of the sand. It was beautiful outside and a beautiful moment to share with her family – spread around the fire pit, laughing and chatting while shoving bits of melted marshmallow and chocolate in their mouths. But something didn’t sit well in Ginny’s stomach as she saw her family sit down. She didn’t think she belonged.
So she made the excuse that she was going to run for lacrosse; that she may as well get some exercise in so she wouldn’t be destroyed when she got back. She threw on her dry-fit tank top and running pants before pulling her hair into a bushy and impromptu ponytail. She went to the front door, tying up her laces before heading out the door.
Her music blared and filled every hole that seemed to be gaping with insecurity. As she ran, she sweat out the toxic energy of her family. With every drip left a harsh word. Or a glance that made her suspicious of their generosity. As her feet beat against the pavement, she was beating down the negative energy that had been consuming her life. She ran and she ran until she reached the end of the road. Three miles. She turned to go back.
By the time she had reached home she was completely soaked from head to toe. The orange sky had slowly shifted and was pulled to a dull black, illuminated by the busy corner of the street. Ginny skipped going in the front door and walked all the way around to the back. She stared at the pitch black ocean momentarily, sensing the low crashing waves as inviting. She wanted to jump in and have the slow-moving water engulf her and swallow her whole. She wanted to feel like she was being pulled out to sea – away from here.
Instead, she sat. She sat in the cool sand and took off her shoes, smooshing her toes under the surface. Ginny stayed like that for a while, feeling sticky from the wind cooling her sweat and unnerved by the calm that surrounded herself. She finally felt like she could unwind among the blackened backdrop and somnolent ocean. Finally.
– x –
This carried on for the next couple days; Ginny would avoid family time, go for an evening run, and then sit in the sand until it grew too cold to be bearable any longer. Her routine had been left alone until she felt a body drop next to her on the third night. She looked over to see that her nightmares were coming true because Charlie Dalton was once again invading her space.
“What do you want?” Ginny asked, barely sparing a glance at him.
He patted the sand beside him, ignoring her question. He had on a red t-shirt and swimming trunks, still unchanged from the swim he had earlier.
“What do you do when you leave?” he asked.
“I run,” Ginny answered as it was a no-brainer.
“You can’t tell me that you run the whole hour that you’re gone.”
“Unlike you, I actually have an athletic bone in my body,” Ginny retorted, turning to glare.
“I used to play some soccer in high school,” Charlie commented with little conviction. “That’s got to count for something.”
“Varsity?” Ginny challenged.
“Rec,” he answered.
A silence stirred between them and Ginny cursed whatever was above her for allowing them to put Charlie in her perfect evening. Because here he was talking and breathing, invading her precious alone time with his dumb mouth.
“Ginny?” Charlie asked openly, no strength or demands in his voice.
“Yeah?” Her voice was tired-sounding. Barely allowing an echo to follow.
“I’m really sorry,” he admitted.
“For what?” she pushed, eyes on the water.
Charlie looked at her, slightly ashamed for what he was going to say. “For everything. For the diary, for the party, for ruining your summer.”
“And…?”
“And…” Charlie took a breath. “I’m sorry that I was such an ass. I didn’t need to pick a fight, but it seemed like you would fight back. It intrigued me and it was entertaining at the start.” He couched slightly. “But it was taken way too far and I’m sorry for that.”
A silence lingered between the two as Charlie looked towards her. Hope and a longing for forgiveness was etched pretty heavily into his features, shining through his dark eyes. Ginny remained stoic though, not giving him any indication of what she thought of his apology. It was driving him a little mad and honestly made him regret that he ever tried to reconcile for a moment.
“You were an ass,” Ginny said finally, cracking a smile. She turned towards Charlie, watching him shake his head before letting out a laugh. He kept laughing, giddy from the way her smile had lit up the evening. She laughed along for a bit, but when his laughter didn’t slow, she narrowed her eyes.
“You’re still an ass!” She called, making her way over to shove him into the sand.
He laughed harder as sand flew into his hair and Ginny’s fist lightly collided with his stomach. She play-punched for a bit longer, sitting back on her legs when she realized he wasn’t going to stop laughing at her.
“You know I still hate you, right?” Ginny said, almost in surrender.
Charlie stopped laughing long enough to look at her with a wild smile. “No you don’t.”
“Shut up.” Ginny blushed, moving to get up.
Charlie followed her off the ground. They looked at each for a moment, just staring in idle contentment. For a second she thought about giving him a hug, but quickly pushed the thought out of her mind when she saw the dastardly glint flash in his eyes.
“Oh no... Charlie,” she warned, backing up, “don’t you dare touch me. Charlie–!”
And just like that they were darting across the backyard, sand flying every which way as she scampered to escape her stepbrother. They ran around like eight-year-olds, squealing and screaming when they got too close to each other. In the end, Charlie caught up to her and pulled her into a tight squeeze.
“Water time,” Charlie warned, dragging Ginny’s protesting body to the ocean. She squealed and squirmed, but to no avail. He still managed to get her into the water deep enough that when he let go, she went sputtering into the salty pool.
She sprung up like a cat, eyes wide and deadly. “You’re such an ass!” she yelled before dragging him under water with her. He came up shortly after, gulping for air.
The two splashed water at each other, attempting to maneuver the fastest out of the way. Their laughter echoed across the never ending ocean and their profanities were even louder. They sprinted after each other, a newfound determination in their steps.
Maybe things didn’t have to change entirely; just enough to get them through the summer.
Ahhh I’m sorry this took so long! School is eating up my time. Hopefully I’ll be posting the next chapter sooner than it took me to post this one, but i can’t make any promises.
Chapter 2: Homecoming
Todd didn’t know anything about football. Before and after their halftime performance, Cameron and Charlie tried explaining it to him, but he didn’t grasp any of it. He commended them for trying.
The actual show went off without a hitch. The band was like a well-oiled machine, they moved fluidly and beautifully. Todd wished he could see it from where Neil was standing, but he also knew that Neil wa far from just watching the spectacle, he was focusing on keeping them all in time, making sure he stayed at the correct pace. If he didn’t, the entire band would fall apart.
As the group of boys head back into the locker room after the game, the only thing anyone could talk about was the dance that would be occurring in just a few short hours. Band kids were rushing home to get ready, to make sure they had flowers for their dates, and various other technicalities that Todd wouldn’t even pretend to understand. Most of the group went their separate ways and promised to meet up at the dance, but Charlie was Todd’s ride home.
Todd wasn’t allowed to wear his ring on the field, so he had left it home for the game, and he was missing its presence as he sat in Charlie’s car. The fair haired boy twisted his fingers anxiously in the passenger seat as he thought about the night he had ahead of him.
“Hey, Todd, what’s got your boxers in a knot?” Charlie asked (thankfully) not taking his eyes off the road.
Todd shook his head. “It’s nothing, don’t worry.” He didn’t want to burden one of his only friends with his stupid worries and even more stupid crush.
Charlie smirked, “It’s the dance, isn’t it?”
Todd sighed, sinking down into the seat. Sometimes he swore Charlie could read their minds. “Yeah, kinda.”
“Listen, I know social things like this aren’t your deal, but at least try to have fun. Don’t stress out so much. We’ll all be there to keep you company. And hey,” he nudged Todd with his elbow, “You managed to snag Neil as your date.”
Todd looked out the window to hide his blush, “We’re going as friends, Char. It’s not like it means anything.”
“Sounds like you want it to,” Charlie noted. Todd wanted to smack himself. He must have made a face, because Charlie chuckled. “Oh don’t worry, it’s no secret that you’ve got yourself a huge crush on Darling Drum Major. The only one who seems to be oblivious to it, unfortunately, is Neil himself. But if I know Neil as well as I claim to, and I do, he feels the same way. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Oh please.” Todd rolled his eyes, “I’m...me. I’m fourth clarinet, I--I stutter and can barely look people in the eye. Why on Earth would he want me when he can literally anyone else?”
“That sounds like a question more suited for Neil than me, Todd. Chill out, man. Plus, I can totally wingman you if you want.”
Todd groaned, “Oh God, please don’t.”
Charlie laughed, “Oh man, I so am. Don’t worry, I won’t outright tell Neil you’re in love with him. I’m just going to help him realize that he’s in love with you.”
“Charlie this is the worst idea I have ever heard in my life,” Todd replied adamantly as they pulled into his driveway. He got out of the car and was about to shut the door when he heard Charlie call out.
“It’s foolproof! You won’t even know I’m doing it!”
Todd rolled his eyes and shut the door as he head up the driveway and into his house. His parents wouldn’t be home from work for an hour, so he had a bit of downtime before he was confronted with their questions about the dance.
His parents were very, very catholic. There was no way that he was going to tell them that Neil was his date to the dance. As far as they were aware, he was simply Todd’s ride there, and his best friend. It was honestly the truth, as far as Todd was concerned. Even still, it was times like these where Todd wished he was straight. It would make situations like this a lot easier. He wouldn’t feel like he was lying to them when he said that Neil was his closest friend.
My best friend. The Drum Major. My mentor of sorts. He helps tutor me in trig. He plays the trumpet like a dream. He’s nice, smart, funny. He’s the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life. He made my heart stop when I met him for the first time. He makes my head spin whenever he smiles. I’m a little bit in love with him and it scares the hell out of me.
He was half-heartedly working on his history paper when his parents got home. They both started fussing over getting their son ready for his first high school dance. It made Todd want to throw up. His mother was going on and on about how much he had grown up as his father straightened his tie (an abhorrent shade of teal that his mother insisted complimented his eyes).
An hour later, the doorbell rang. The simple ringing felt like a gunshot through Todd’s chest. He made sure he got to the door before his parents could. Even if Neil was just his friend, there was no doubt in his mind that Mr. and Mrs. Anderson would find some sort of way to embarrass him.
Neil was a vision. He had his hands clasped behind his back and stood on Todd’s porch tall and proud. He was wearing a black suit with a white button down and a light green tie. Neil smiled down at him and Todd felt weak in the knees.
“You gonna let me in, Anderson?”
Todd nodded without a word and stepped back so Neil could come inside. He watched him as he walked and couldn’t help but associate him with one of the romantic leads in the period dramas his mother watches so often. The beautiful, well-dressed young man with a quick tongue who asked the shy girl to dance and changed her life forever. Did that make Todd the damsel in distress? He shook his head and shut the door before following Neil into the living room.
“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, nice to see you again,” Neil said with his prize-winning smile on and his charm turned all the way up.
Mr. and Mrs. Anderson said hello to Neil and made smalltalk with him about the band, how his grades where, if he had applied to any colleges yet, and all of the usual topics that made Todd feel like he was going to be sick.
It felt like another hour had passed before Todd and Neil actually made it outside to the car. Todd ran a worried hand through his hair and sank down into the seat, which made Neil laugh a bit.
“Your folks are nice, Todd.”
“They mean well, I guess.”
Todd felt anxiety surge in him the second they pulled up to the school. It wasn’t like this was going to be anywhere near “crazy” as far as parties went, they did go to catholic school after all. Regardless, the sheer number of people at the dance was enough to make Todd freeze. As if he could sense Todd’s hesitations, Neil squeezed his shoulder and offered him a smile of encouragement.
“Come on, let’s meet up with the crew.”
Todd nodded and followed the brunette into the gym. It was covered in balloons (which he knew the entire football team would have too much fun sucking the helium out of), fairy lights, and streamers. The place smelled of old gym socks and teeange desperation and Todd immediately wanted to leave. But before he could even try to make an excuse, he was being pulled along by Charlie and Knox onto the dance floor, which, of course, was the last place Todd wanted to be. It was a fast song playing, and the only thing that kept Todd from praying the ground swallowed him whole was seeing the different ways his friends danced. Charlie danced decently well, naturally. As did Pitts, which was a pleasant surprise to Todd. The girls were the best dancers out of the lot of them, which surprised no one. The majority of the group, however, could not dance for the lives of them. Meeks danced in a way that Todd could only describe as “embarrassing Dad at a party”. Knox and Cameron clearly thought they could dance, which was far from the truth of it. Neil had fun with his inability to dance, and often dragged Todd into his moves, which made him laugh against his will.
Todd actually had a bit of fun once he relaxed some. With his friends, it was easy to feel like nobody else was watching. He ate too many snacks, drank the spiked-by-Charlie punch (which probably helped in his efforts of relaxation), and finally understood why people came to these things.
When the slow songs started playing, he panicked. Knox went off with Chris, and Cameron had asked Ginny to dance. Charlie, Pitts, and Meeks were attempting an awkward three-way slow dance that was more amusing to watch than anything. Meanwhile, Todd was red in the face and looking down at his feet.
“I--I’m going to go get punch...” Todd said, avoiding Neil’s warm eyes.
Neil smirked, “No way, you’re going to dance with me if it’s the last thing I do.”
Before he could register what was going on, Neil had wrapped his arms around Todd’s waist and started swaying to the music. This left the blushing shorter boy no choice but to drape his arms around Neil’s neck and follow suit. They didn’t say anything as the music played, they simply let the melodies lead them. Neil had said they were going as friends, but surely friends didn’t dance like this? Or maybe they did, it wasn’t like Todd had much experience in the matter.
When the songs ended and the dance was over, Todd felt a strange sensation of not really wanting to leave. He felt suspended when dancing with Neil, and the fact that it was over was almost distressing. It felt like he was gasping for air, and the only way he could breathe was if he was in Neil’s arm. He couldn’t afford to think like that. He just hoped he could pull himself together before band on Monday and wipe the all-knowing smirk from Charlie Dalton’s face.
Alright, here's my newest Anderperry project! Thank you to tumblr user
betatodd for reminding me about this piece, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter!
For a list of marching band terminology, click here (If there are any I forgot about, don't be afraid to ask if you don't know what something is)
For the prologue, click here
Chapter One: Cadence
“Come on, Todd! I know you know your spot, you need confidence!” Neil cajoled as they went back into the school after a practice two weeks later.
Todd sighed, “Yeah, I know. I just keep worrying I’ll get it wrong.”
Neil shook his head with a smile, “You won’t. Now come on, it’s super cold out here. Stupid Vermont.”
Todd chuckled as the two of them hurried back inside to beat the chill. The band room was bustling with kids putting their instruments away and trying to get out of the school, friends standing in small clusters and talking, kids frantically trying to practice their music quick before going home, and, as always Mr. Keating walking around and being a part of all of it. Todd was putting his clarinet away when Charlie confronted him.
“Hey, Anderson. The gang’s meeting up at Meeks’ for a study group, you in?”
Todd bit his lip. As much as he wanted to go, the introvert wasn’t much suited for prolonged social interaction. Marching Band itself exhausted him as much as it was (Going from the thirty on one side to the thirty on the other side in twenty counts? Keating was crazy for making them do that). He kind of just wanted to go home and take a nap before tackling his homework. But then he looked over Charlie’s shoulder and watched as Neil played on Cameron’s trumpet. The instrument which normally sounded loud and harsh when Cameron played sounded smooth and melodic through Neil. He shook his head. He could not be developing a crush on a drum major.
Todd nodded to Charlie, “Yeah, I’ll come.”
Charlie grinned like he knew, “Great. I’m driving. I’ll get these knuckleheads together so we can get a move on before the senior lot gets too crowded.”
Todd nodded and put his clarinet away. By the time he got out of the band locker room, the boys were standing by the door to the senior parking lot waiting for him. He had no idea how they were all going to fit in Charlie’s not-so-large car, but he didn’t ask any questions about it either.
“Alright, boys, I need to pass Latin this semester, so let’s go,” Charlie said as he tossed his keys in the air and caught them with ease.
He liked the ragtag team of boys that had taken him under their wings. With them, he felt more at home than he had in ages, but that didn’t stop him from feeling anxious. He fidgeted with the spinner ring his brother Jeff had gotten him for his birthday the previous year as he followed his friends out.
The arrangement of boys in Charlie’s car was nothing but comical. Charlie was driving with Cameron sitting shotgun. This left Pitts, Knox, and Neil to fill the backseat. Meeks sat himself on Pitts’ lap without question, as if they did this all the time (which Todd didn’t doubt they did). This, of course, left Todd standing awkwardly outside the car, fiddling with his ring uncomfortably.
“You gettin’ in, stiff?” Cameron teased from the passenger seat.
“Shut up,” Neil said, giving him a shove. He turned to Todd with a heart-stopping grin. “Well come on, Todd. You can sit on my lap, don’t be shy.”
Shyness was only part of the reason Todd was reluctant to do as he was told. The fact that he felt like his heart was going to expel itself from his chest through his throat was the other reason. Still, he nodded and tossed his backpack into the trunk and slammed it shut before awkwardly sliding into the car and onto the Drum Major’s lap. It wasn’t even as if the drive to Charlie’s place was a long one, but it felt like the longest car ride Todd had ever taken. He was hyper-aware of the feeling of Neil’s arms around his waist trying to by shopshop" style="border: none !important; display: inline-block !important; text-indent: 0px !important; float: none !important; font-weight: bold !important; height: auto !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-transform: uppercase !important; text-decoration: underline !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important; background: transparent !important;">keep him
steady. He could swear neil must have felt him shaking, but if he did, he didn’t say anything about it, which Todd was grateful for.
“Are Chris and Ginny coming?” Pitts asked from under Meeks. Knox shook his head.
“Nah, they’re having a colorguard practice. Something about a floating six count the girls aren’t getting”
“Oh, in the concerto?” Meeks piped in.
“Yeah, yeah, when you guys are doing the high steps,” Neil noted.
Todd groaned, which made the boys laugh. It was no secret that the high steps were the bane of his marching band existence. He could hardly keep time during regular marching, let alone when he had to march in half-counts. The only upside to this was that Neil claimed it looked amazing from off the field. Todd wouldn’t know anything about that, he would have to wait until some parent, probably Cameron’s, put the show on YouTube to see it in action.
Neil chuckled and nudged Todd gently, “I love watching you do that, it’s pretty amusing.”
Half of him wanted to shove Neil for teasing him, half of him was becoming self-conscious because now he knew Neil sought him out on the field and watched him.
“Yeah, yeah, pipe down, Mr. Drum Major,” Charlie said from the front, “I remember you falling flat on your trumpet freshman year the first time you tried that.”
This mental image made the people in the by shopshop" style="border: none !important; display: inline-block !important; text-indent: 0px !important; float: none !important; font-weight: bold !important; height: auto !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-transform: uppercase !important; text-decoration: underline !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important; background: transparent !important;">car
laugh as they pulled into the Dalton’s driveway. Todd nearly fell out of the car from trying to get out quickly. He could hardly be in the same room as Neil for extended periods of time without his heart beating out of his chest, being in his lap brought them closer together than Todd ever thought they would be. He knew whether he liked it or not, the thought of Neil’s arms around his waist would keep him up well into the night.
They actually did manage to get some studying done, which was more than could be said for most of these study sessions. “Studying” mostly consisted of them sitting in a circle around Meeks while he essentially re-taught the lesson in laymans terms. For some reason, the same Latin made much more sense coming out of his mouth than their teacher’s.
“Well why didn’t he just say that!” Charlie exclaimed about an hour in.
Meeks rolled his eyes, “He did, you just don’t pay any attention.”
Charlie scoffed and tossed his notebook to the side. “Yeah, whatever. I need a break. Anyone else want food?”
All the boys practically cheered in agreement. Charlie and Cameron went into the kitchen and returned with bowls of chips and bottles of soda.
“Bless your soul, Dalton,” Knox said as he took a handful of chips, “And bless your ever-stocked snack cabinet.”
“Here, here!” The boys agreed, raising solo cups full of coke and laughing.
It was much easier for Todd to feel comfortable and at ease during times like this, when they were relaxing and talking about nothing in particular. He didn’t have to focus, he could sit on the edge and simply breathe. For a few minutes, the boys did nothing but munch on the snacks and drink their soda, thankful to get a break from the Latin. After a while, though, Charlie spoke up.
“So, Neil, ready for your debut as Drum Major at homecoming this weekend?”
Neil sighed and leaned back on his elbows. “Yes and no. I mean, we’re ready, and I’m excited, but I guess I’m nervous too.”
They all nodded and understood that. Todd couldn’t imagine being responsible for conducting an entire marching band, being responsible for keeping them in time. It seemed like too big a responsibility for him to handle. Neil took it with grace, which was one of the reasons Todd admired him so much.
“Are you going to the dance?” Knox asked.
Neil sighed, “Only because I’m a senior, my friend.”
“Amen,” Pitts said, “I am so ready to graduate and get out of Hellton.”
“Here, here,” the boys agreed again.
“Who will the illustrious Neil Perry be taking as his date, then?” Charlie teased.
Todd’s heart stopped. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with this dance, his intense social anxiety made situations like that nearly impossible for him, but if Neil asked him to go as his date...he shook the thought away. It wasn’t even a question of “does Neil like boys?”, he had confessed to them that he was gay. For Todd, it was more of a “why would a guy like him ever go for a guy like me?” scenario.
“I don’t need a date to have a good time,” Neil cajoled. “And of course, not everyone can be dating a colorguard captain like Knoxie over here.”
This made Knox flush a light shade of red, “Yeah, well, shut up. What about you, Charlie? Who’re you bringing?”
Charlie sighed dramatically, “Alas, as our monogamous societal norms will not allow me to by shopshop" style="border: none !important; display: inline-block !important; text-indent: 0px !important; float: none !important; font-weight: bold !important; height: auto !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-transform: uppercase !important; text-decoration: underline !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important; background: transparent !important;">register
both Meeks and Pitts as my dates, technically, I am only bringing Meeks. Make no mistake about though, I will be spending time with both of my boys.” He leaned to either side of him to give his boyfriends kisses of the cheeks.
Meeks looked to Todd curiously. He knew what question was coming, but he stil didn’t want to answer it. “What about you, Todd?”
The group of boys looked to him expectantly. He looked down at his hands and fidgeted with his spinner ring. “Oh...uh...I’m not going...”
Every jaw in the room dropped as if he was speaking blasphemy.
“But you have to go!” Cameron exclaimed, sounding appalled.
“He’s right,” Meeks said, pushing his glasses up his nose. “It’s like a senior right of passage, especially if you’re in marching band.”
Todd shrugged, “I don’t like dances. Besides, I don’t see the point in going if I don’t have a date.”
“That settles it, then,” Neil said, sitting up, “You’ll be my date, then.”
Todd thought it was a miracle that he didn’t have a heart attack.
“I mean, what could be better,” Neil finished, “than two really good friends hanging out at the dance?”
Todd relaxed, but also felt his heart fall in his chest. He smiled softly, “Yeah, okay. I guess it could be fun. Plus, I can’t wait to see people’s jealous faces when they find out I’m the Drum Major’s date.” The words left his mouth, but he didn’t believe a single one of them.
This is for Marching In Step my super cool Marching Band AU for Anderperry. I've realized not everyone knows as much about Marching Band as my friends and I do, so I'm making a little glossary so everyone's on the same page! I'll keep adding terms on here as I use them, but if I forget and you're ever confused, feel free to message me! So, without further ado, here is that.
Band Director: "Teacher" of the Marching Band. Creates the field show, corrects spots, basically does everything. (Keating).
Band Officer: Helps distribute uniforms, organize and distribute flip folders and music. Can be, and is more often than not, also a rank leader. (Charlie)
Band President: Literal glue of the marching band. Organizes lesson groups, attendance, and events. They do a shitton of paperwork. (Meeks).
Cadence: Short Drumline solo, usually used to keep time as the band marches somewhere in between songs during a parade, or between songs in a show.
Colorguard: Like a dance team, they twirl flags, rifles, and sabers during the marching band show. (Ginny, Chris)
Counts: Beats during a song.
Drum Captain: Keeps the Drumline under control, lets them know what cadences to play, makes sure they know their spots and music.
Drum Major: Stands on the front sideline and conducts the band as they play the show. (Neil)
Rank Leader: Is assigned a group of musicians within their instrument to be in their "rank". The rank leader makes sure they know their music, know their spots on the field, and generally keep things smooth. (Knox, Cameron).
Rearback: While marching, the band may go back on one foot and kick one knee up. (That's a crappy explanation I'm sorry google it)
[[I FEEL SO BAD THAT THIS HAS TAKEN FOREVER TO BE POSTED THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE WITH ME. This won’t be up on AO3 until I can get on a computer but I’m posting it here on mobile just so you can have it. The next chapter is the last one, oh boy!]]
Chapter Nine: The Healing Qualities of Tea and Friendship
Weekends at Welton can be dreary and boring, especially in the dead of winter. Todd, Meeks, and Pitts were not going to accept this fact. They got some tea from Mr. Keating, who was always willing to spare a hot beverage for the cold boys and went back to Pitts’ room. They sat around and talked about little things. It was nice to let go and not have a care in the world, to just look out at the slowly falling snow and have a talk with good friends. They talked about lessons and how quickly time was going by. It was true. it felt like he had just moved in here yesterday, and soon they would be preparing for finals. It felt weird to him to know that soon he would be leaving for the summer, and he wouldn’t see his close friends for months.
“I’m going to miss you guys,” Todd mumbled as he ran his thumb against the styrofoam cup in his hands.
Pitts nodded, “I already miss you guys. The whole group, I mean. I miss the Dead Poets Society.”
The three boys had a silent agreement on that. Todd looked down into the warm cup of tea and sighed. Todd’s heart hurt every time he thought about how the society used to be. It used to be so good. For the first time in a long time, Todd had felt like he had a family. Now that family was broken and it was up to him or Neil to fix it, but Todd couldn’t muster the energy.
"I still can’t believe Neil is being such a jerk about this. I would have done the same in your shoes. He can be so dramatic sometimes, he’s always been that way.”
Pitts nodded, “He had a diva fit, and now he should be the bigger man and apologize.”
Todd cringed, “He’s not a diva. I…I understand why he said what he did. Looking back on it now, I almost agree. I mean…not quite to his extent. But I should have handled things differently. He’s not the only one at fault here. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango.”
"Yeah but he still shouldn’t have been so hard on you,” Meeks interjected.
Todd shrugged, “Maybe so. But you’re making it sound like he’s the villain here, and he’s not…he’s really not.” He took a deep sip of the tea he was drinking, hoping it would clear his thoughts. It helped him relax a bit, but he still felt this dull ache of longing in his chest. It hadn’t left since the day he and Neil split. He felt like there was a cinder block sitting on his chest, compressing him down so that he couldn’t breathe.
Meeks looked to him sadly, “You still love him, don’t you?”
Todd took a deep breath, “Of course I still love him. He…he made things easier. It was like I had never really had my eyes open before and then I met him, and I could actually see. He was my muse. Every writer has one, and he was mine. Now my poetry blows because the one thing I could write about with ease has left me. He was my fire, and now it’s like…all I have is a candle. I dunno. I can’t really explain it.”
“Sounds like you’re doing a pretty good job to me,” Pitts said with a smirk, “Why don’t you tell him that?”
Todd shook his head, “No…no he seems pretty done with me. I’m sure he’s moved on. He’s Neil Perry, for god’s sake. He could get any guy or girl he wanted. He wouldn’t waste his time with me a second time. Or at least, he shouldn’t.”
Meeks rolled his eyes, “I think Neil’s dramatic rubbed off on you during some of those kisses. Seriously, both of you need to calm down. You realize all of your problems would be fixed if you two, you know, talked to each other? You’re both kind of acting like pouty little girls.”
Pitts laughed into his tea, “You know, he’s kind of right. Why don’t you go talk to him? He’ll probably be so impressed that you’re being the dominant one that he’ll probably drop to his knees right then and there and beg for you back.”
“Yeah, that sounds likely,” Todd scoffed. Still, he knew his friends were right, as they so often were. He needed to go talk to Neil. This was ridiculous, and he knew it. He needed to sort things out with Neil, even if that didn’t mean them getting back together, at least it would mean closure. He took a deep breath, “No, you know what? You’re right. I’ll go find him now. He’s probably still in his room, yeah?”
The boys nodded and Todd took another long sip of his tea before heading off.
***
Todd didn’t knock before going into Neil’s room. He was alone, reading through a book of poetry. Neil jumped back in surprise when Todd came in, shutting the book and setting it down beside him. Todd took a deep breath.
“Neil, we have to talk.”
“No, Todd, I don’t want to—”
“No, no! Listen to me, please! J-Just listen!” Todd waited for Neil to settle a bit before he continued speaking. “T-this is stupid…and love…love isn’t easy. I-If it was meant to be easy, everyone would have it. B-but they don’t. Because love is cold, a-and its broken, and its hard, Neil, it’s so hard to be in love. But you know what? It’s worth every second. Feeling w-what I feel for you is like the worst kind of pain, but I want to feel it over and over again. Being with you, Neil, it’s like feeling something, and when you’re gone, I’m empty. You keep telling me I n-need to be brave, Neil. And I’m t-trying so hard to be, it’s so much easier to be b-brave with you. I-I want to keep loving you as long as you’ll let me. W-will you just…let me?”
Neil grinned and got up quickly from his seat, moving fast across the room so that he could wrap his arms around Todd’s neck and give him a strong kiss on the lips. Neil tasted like longing and Earl Gray tea. Todd didn’t think any kiss from Neil could send him into a wild whirlwind like the first kiss did, but this was so much more than that. This kiss was them saying everything they couldn’t put into words. This kiss was “I love you”, “I missed you”, and “I forgive you” all without saying anything at all. This kiss was handsy, gripping at each other as if they were afraid that if they let go, they might lose the other forever. This kiss was remembering what the other person tasted like and not realizing how much you missed that until now. This kiss was not a new beginning, it was simply picking up where we left off.
“I’m sorry I’m an idiot,” Neil said when the kiss broke. Todd rested his head on Neil’s shoulder. He had almost forgotten how perfectly he fits there, and how nice that was. Neil seemed so inevitable to Todd. He didn’t know he had survived so long without him. He didn’t know how good it felt to breathe until he had air back in his lungs.
“It takes two to start a war, love. It’s my fault as much as yours. We were both wrong. I’m just so glad we can go back to normal now. A-And the society, we can bring the society back. I miss that stupid, damp cave, you know? I miss how good that made me feel.”
“God, me too. You have no idea. I never thought I could miss being out there in the cold so much. That cave feels like home to me, being away from it felt wrong.”
“Let’s go tonight. Let’s get the boys together and lets go. I wrote a poem about you, I want to share it tonight.”
Neil beamed, “Todd Anderson actually wants to share something that he wrote at a society meeting? That’s cause for celebration.” He pecked Todd’s lips softly and quickly. These feelings weren’t sending sparks, they simply let off a gentle glow. It was warm familiarity, it was more welcome than either of them could ever hope to explain.
The day you and I got married was one of the best days of my beginning adult life. We were both shit faced and completely inebriated in order to celebrate you turning eighteen. We snuck across the Canadian border - you, me, Charlie, Knox, Pitts, Meeks, and Cameron found a way to escape Welton on a Saturday night. Charlie knew a guy that would let us borrow his car and from there we were all ready to go. It was nice getting to spend time away from Welton, even if the alternative was a musty car that barely went four miles without shaking. But it was nice because I got to sit smooshed next to you. We made it there in only a couple hours time and immediately found a dive bar. It was dingy and slightly chaotic, but you held back as Charlie took charge, ordering drink after drink until we all had something. You and I had a beer, or maybe he started you out with a shot. All I really remember is that within the next hour we were pretty blitzed. The night went on with plenty of alcohol and Pitts trying to be mature by talking to others around him. He pulled it off fairly well since he wasn't quite as drunk as some of us and managed to meet a priest. When Charlie overheard their conversation, he barged in and asked if he could marry one of us. Your eyes shot directly to me in a wanting way - silently confirming what we felt about each other. The ideas of marriage and eternal love danced around ourselves, making you exude this powerful feeling of enlightenment. It washed over me time after time as thoughts about the future - our future - played in my head. The guy said he could technically, but not legally, marry two of us if we wanted. You fluttered your eyelashes at me then, almost in a teasing way, and I laughed harder than was probably necessary. Charlie turned to us then and pointed at us accusingly before saying with giant smile, "You two are definitely getting married." You went from teasing and flirty to red-faced embarrassment in about three seconds flat. You caught yourself smiling at the idea though and tried to make it go away by biting on your lip. You looked me then, your light eyes wondering as you gazed upon me, searching for answers to your own questions as you tucked away part of your mouth beyond your teeth. Your hair flooded your forehead as you contemplated the answer and I just wanted to reach out and touch it; brush it away even though it would come right back. I told them that we'd do it. I announced to our friends and the people within three feet that you and I were getting married. They didn't seem to mind or care, but I took it as a non-vocal approval. They placed us then across from each other, making the priest stand in the middle. You and I were giggling every time someone 'paused' the ceremony just so they could tweak something. At one point Meeks cried over the lack of flowers and went outside to pick some. He ended up only being able to find clovers and immediately stuck them in my hair, claiming me as the 'girl.' You giggled as they pushed them into my hair and how absurd I looked with small flowers sticking every which way, but got silent and bashful when they went to stick a few in your shirt pocket. The whole thing was cute and completely unprepared. It almost didn't seem real until he spoke the words that still make me glow to this day: "Todd Anderson, do you take Neil Perry to be your (un)lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" You looked at me then, the love and adoration shining bright in your eyes. A small smile began on your face as you said confidently in a quieted manner, "I do." Your cheeks then grew bright red as your smile only grew threefold. Happiness poured out around you and I was hoping it was because of me. Then your eyes settled as the priest turned to me. I barely heard his words as he spoke because I was so intent on matching your gaze. "Neil Perry, do you take Todd Anderson to be your (un)lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" I nodded my head, feeling the euphoria bubble up as I truly took in your appearance. That light brown hair and hazel eyes were soon to be mine. At least, technically. "I do," I said softly so only the two of us could hear. We smiled secretively at each other, as if the we were the only ones in on it. The guy prattled on, talking about the power that the bar had vested in him and so on while my fingers were just itching to grab your waist and pull you to me. "You may now kiss the bride," he instructed easily. You blushed harder at me then took a step or two closer. I reached out and wrapped my hands around your waist, slowly tugging you closer. You smiled at me then, carefree and weightless as you pressed your lips lightly against mine. You tasted like liquor and beer, but I'm sure I tasted the same bitter way. We laughed then, pulling back, as we stared adoringly at each other. Everyone cheered as we kissed again, Charlie yelling that he'd buy the priest and his friends a round. Among the chaos I had gripped onto you. The love I knew I could grip onto forever. You're my rock, Todd and I couldn't have made it through school and parents without your constant and unwavering support. I may have been drunk when we got married, but 20 years later our feelings have only intensified and I have you to thank. I love you with all my heart and I hope that never stops.
