feeling drained from the studying so naturally, my brain shifts over to dr. robby and how he'd literally love a messy younger gf. messy as in, creating problems out of nothing, constantly putting important things (like an oil change or an engine check light) aside until it finally bites you in the ass.
you're an adult despite the age gap between the both of you, you've lived this long on your own this far! but something inside you shutters and goes blank when robby's around, your survival skills diminishing to nothing because you like it when he takes care of you, likes the way he takes the lead because 'oh, sweetheart, that's what your old man's for, hm? let me take care of it.'
in the first month of dating, you'd been adamant on not being a burden, not wanting your younger age to be a detriment to the relationship... until you realize robby craves it. he loves it when you call in the middle of a shift, whimpering about a draft that won't go away in his home, whining about your car nearly out of gas.
you're his favorite headache because it'll give him something to fix, something to make him feel needed.
Pairing: Robby/Reader
Summary: While doing some cleaning to help out Robby, you stumble across his hiding spot.
Word Count: 2,294
A/N: This idea strung from one sentence that spiraled at 1 am last night and I am very happy with it so I hope you all enjoy!
You and Robby had only been officially together for a little over three months, but he gave you a key to his place so that you didn’t have to wait for him to be off shift before coming over to hang out together. So far, you had only used the key when he invited you to meet him but over the last week you had noticed how tired he was and how some of his necessary tasks were falling to the wayside.
You tentatively opened his front door, hoping he wouldn’t think you were intruding by sneaking into his house to do some laundry and get some cleaning done. Once you were inside, you decided that you had made a good decision because his place was probably the messiest you had ever seen it and you were sure it was causing him extra stress that he did not need.
You started by making a list of all the different things that would need to be done and then once you were satisfied that you had thought of everything, you put your headphones on, started your audiobook and got to work.
You started by gathering all his laundry, grabbing his hamper, stripping the bed, gathering all the towels from the bathroom and kitchen, and collecting discarded socks and sweaters that were in the living room. Once you had the first load running, you moved on to the kitchen and took care of all the dishes, loading and running the dishwasher and then handwashing anything that didn’t fit. When you decided to wipe out his fridge, you frowned at how empty it was. There were a few takeout containers that upon inspection, went straight in the garbage, otherwise it was sparse at best. You quickly finished the task of cleaning it before snooping in his cupboard to see what all groceries he could use and then placing a delivery order so he could have a restock of the essentials.
You spent the next couple hours moving from room to room and getting his space spotless. Initially your goal had been just to do a surface level clean, dishes, laundry picking up and maybe a vacuum but you found yourself dusting and wiping down walls and doors. The doorbell startled you and you quickly went to the door to gather and put away the groceries you had ordered. You had also made sure to buy ingredients to make a dinner for him so you set those off to the side so you could get started once you finished with the last of his laundry.
You had chuckled to yourself on just how empty his sock drawer was when you had opened it, until your eyes landed on a small red velvet box. You felt your ears ring, suddenly no longer hearing the audiobook that was playing. You felt as if your heart was both in your throat and as if it had fallen to your ass. You told yourself that it was none of your business and you should just put his socks away and ignore it. You should more definitely not take the box and open it.
And yet, almost against your own wishes, the box was in your hands and you were carefully inspecting the soft fabric between your fingers. You took a deep breath, and without exhaling you flipped the lip open. Upon seeing the most stunning ring you had ever laid eyes on, you sharply inhaled more air and then slowly let it out “oh my god’
You were looking at the ring of your dreams. It was everything you would want in an engagement ring. You were pretty sure if someone took all the photos saved to your pinterest board and took the best qualities of each ring, this would be the results. You sat there stunned, not knowing what to think of what was sitting in your hands. It felt vaguely familiar but in the way that you assumed was because it was everything you wanted in a ring.
It wasn’t as if you didn’t see a forever with Robby, you very much did. You couldn’t begin to imagine your life without him but you hadn’t talked much about the future together and it was still only a few months into the relationship. A sinister thought crossed your mind that this ring wasn’t meant for you at all but you tried to brush that thought away.
After what was probably many minutes of just sitting staring at the ring, you took a deep breath and stood up. You went to put the ring back where you found it but instead you slipped it into your pocket and then after a moment to try to orient yourself, you got back to the task at hand.
Luckily there hadn’t been much else to do other than put the bed back together and cook dinner. You did both while in your head trying to decide how you should bring up what you found to Robby. You know he obviously hadn’t meant for you to find it so you didn’t want him to feel like you had invaded his privacy but you also couldn’t keep what you had found from him.
You had so many questions but the two big ones were when he had purchased the ring, was it something recent or had he had it for awhile? And the other was when he was planning on proposing with it. The more you thought about it the more you were sure you would say yes no matter how soon he asked, but you were curious when he had been planning on doing it soon.
You had planned to text Robby to warn him that you were over and cooking him dinner, but the shock of the ring had it totally slip your mind and it wasn’t until the front door was opening that you realized you hadn’t warned him of your presence.
“Hello?” You heard Robby’s confused voice saying from his entryway.
“Surprise!” You responded with a slight hesitation in your voice. You stepped into his line of sight with a tight smile. “I hope I didn’t overstep. I just wanted to do something nice for you.”
“You cleaned my house?” He asked, stunned, taking in the sight of his clean space.
“Yeah.” You admitted. “I also did some laundry and may have bought you groceries and cooked dinner.”
“Wow,” He gave you a soft smile and takes a few steps to pull you into him. “What did I do to deserve all this?”
“You deserve so much more than a little cleaning” You told him, looking up at him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stretched up to plant a kiss on his lips. You meant it to be a chaste kiss in greeting but Robby didn’t let you go so easily. His arms tightened around you as he pulled you close to him and deepened the kiss.
“Is that something in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” He teased as he pulled away. You immediately stiffen stepping out of his hold.
Robby gives you a concerned look and tilts his head, obviously trying to figure out why you are reacting so oddly to a simple silly comment.
“I-” You stuttered, not sure how to explain it “Listen, I’m so sorry. I am sure you didn’t mean for me to find this but I did you laundry and I was putting away your socks and you know you clearly haven't done laundry is forever cause the drawer was nearly empty and so it was just staring up at me and I shouldn’t have but I couldn't help myself and I looked and it’s stunning and I guess I don’t know for sure it’s for me but I kinda think it is and yeah I am so sorry I promise I wasn’t trying to be a weirdo snoop I just found it.”
You finally took a breath after you got your explanation without so much as spaces between each word. You were holding the box out in your palm, offering it back to Robby. When you finally got the nerve to look up at him, he was frowning, staring at the box as if it would disappear if he stared at it long enough.
“Sorry, if you want me to leave I can.” You finally said, not being able to stand the silence that had fallen. You felt on the verge of tears. You weren’t sure why but Robby not saying anything was feeling like the start of a rejection. You had probably completely misread the whole situation and it wasn’t even for you. Oh god what if there was someone else? No. No, Robby was not like that and he would never do that but still you couldn’t help but think his reaction meant the ring wasn’t for you.
You quickly pushed the box at him and sidestepped him, rushing to get your shoes on so you could run out the door. Before you could even get a step around him, he shot out a hand and wrapped it around your arm. “Wait, stop.”
You paused but you couldn't bring yourself to look up at him. Fearing a look of pity in his eyes or worse, indifference. “Did you not recognize the ring?”
Your eyes suddenly shot up to meet Robby’s gaze, confusion evident on your face “What, How would I-” And then suddenly it dawned on you. “Holy shit Robby, you bought that ring?”
Over a month ago, you had convinced Robby to go to a bunch of different antique stores in and around Pittsburgh and you had spent nearly the entire day driving all around and mostly window shopping in all the different shops you could find. In one of them, you had come across the most stunning ring you had ever seen. You had pointed it out to Robby, saying that it was the exact ring you would want to get married with and you had longing stared at it knowing you wouldn’t be able to afford it for casual wear. You hadn’t pointed it out with any alternative motives, you genuinely just wanted to show him cause you thought it was so beautiful. He had agreed it was stunning but you had missed the soft look he had given you while you were gushing over it. Apparently you had also missed him purchasing the ring.
“I did.” He admitted. “You said it was the ring you wanted to get married with and I knew that the chances of it still being there in a few more months were slim so I went back the next day and purchased it.”
“I- I don’t even know what to say.” You stood there stunned, feeling more in love with Robby than you had thought possible. “I am honestly surprised you were even listening to me”
“I’m always listening to you.” He reaches out to you and pulls you back into him. “I love you. And maybe it’s crazy to buy a ring only a few months into a relationship but I just know you’re it for me and I wasn’t planning on asking anytime soon so I didn’t scare you off but I want you to have everything you want and more so I couldn’t let someone else get your dream ring.”
“Robby,” You whispered, not trusting your voice. You reached up to cup his face in your hands, gently rubbing your thumb over the top of his beard. “Maybe I’m crazy, but if you did ask now, I’d say yes.”
Robby leaned in but before anything else could be said, the kitchen’s smoke alarm started to blare.
“Shit!” You quickly pulled away and rushed into the kitchen. “Fuck!!” You turned off the stove burner and grabbed a towel and started fanning above the now smoking pan. Robby was right behind you and was quickly opening the window hoping to air out some of the smoke. He grabbed a second hand towel and waved it directly in front of the smoke detector until it finally stopped beeping.
You looked down at the now ruined dinner and then up at Robby and just started laughing. He was quick to join in.
“I’m sorry, I wanted to do something nice, and I think I ruined your pan instead” You chuckled as your laughing started to subside.
“I think I can buy a new pan.” He chuckled. “And let’s just order some take out instead?”
“Sounds like a plan.” You agreed. “Now about that proposal…”
“Oh yeah I’m not proposing right now.” He said with a wicked smile. “You’ve already ruined my surprise about the ring, so you aren’t going to ruin a proposal surprise too.”
“So you’re going to make me wait an undisclosed amount of time?” You asked in horror.
“Yep.” He deadpanned.
“Evil!”
“But I do have a question to ask you.” You definitely had a moment where you thought he was just kidding and was going to officially ask right now. “Why don’t we make that key a permanent one?”
“What do you mean?” You asked confused. You think the whole ring thing had short circuited your brain cause you were not getting what he was putting down.
“I liked coming home and finding you here and I want that to be an everyday thing. Move in with me. I can clear out half the closet and you can leave your shitty apartment.” He explained with a hopeful smile.
“I think I’ll need more than half a closet.” You smiled back.
“Is that a yes?” He asked, stepping into your space.
“It is.” You laughed at him as he swept you into an embrace and kissed you passionately.
Pairing: Robby/Reader
Summary: You're sick and Robby convinces you to get checked out on his shift. He then finds out you're pregnant and has to deal with the knowledge that you don't want to keep it.
Warnings: Pregnancy, talk of abortion, unwanted pregnancy, angst
Word Count: 3,987
A/N: This is a pretty self-indulgent fic as someone who does not want kids at all.
You had been feeling like shit for the last few days. At first you chalked it up to PMSing but it was different than your normal symptoms and you weren’t getting over it. Robby had noticed and wanting to make sure you were okay himself, he convinced you to come with him to the pitt during his shift. You had tried to tell him you’d just go to MedExpress and not add to their already crazy workload but he wouldn’t have that. He wanted to make sure you got the best care so you went to work with him.
You decided you must have really looked as bad as you felt, or Robby was just that in tune to you, because he chose to drive the short distance to the hospital instead of walking like normal.
“Just wait here, going to do handover real quick and then we’ll get you checked over.” Robby promised, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead before walking off to locate Jack, leaving you standing at the nurses hub.
“What brings you in today?” Dana asked with a smile. You tried to return it but didn’t have the energy and then before you knew it, a wave of nausea washed over you and you rushed to grab a waste basket before hurling your guts into it.
“Woah,” Dana quickly rushed to your side and gently rubbed your back as you continued to puke. “Let’s get you in a room. I’ll let Robby know where to find you.”
You were grateful for her as she led you into an empty room and helped you up on the bed before grabbing a tray in case you needed to be sick again. You leaned back on the bed, puking without much in your stomach left you feeling wiped out.
You leaned back on the bed and closed your eyes, trying to ignore how horrible you felt. “I’ll get Robby and we will get you all sorted, alright hun?”
You gave her a nod and she patted your shoulder gently before stepping out of the room and closing the curtain and door behind her.
A few minutes later the door opened and you expected to see Robby but instead Dr. Mohan walked through the door.
“Hey, I heard you weren’t feeling well? Robby got caught by Gloria and asked me to come see you.” She explained as she pulled the stool over and sat down.
“Yeah I’ve been feeling like death.” You groaned.
“Well, let’s figure out why so we can fix it.” She gave you a soft smile before starting to go over your medical history questions as well as symptoms and everything else she would need to know. “And lastly, is there any chance you’re pregnant?”
“What? Absolutely not.” You rushed to answer. “I have an IUD and we use condoms.”
“Okay, no worries, it’s just something we always have to ask.” She soothed, she had noticed your reaction and could tell it was a touchy subject so she didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. “Also we are still going to have to take a pee sample. It’s just policy.”
You were barely listening to her as your brain started to go over the timing. You should have had your period last week. You hadn’t really even noticed because you had been sick and you had just chalked it up to the sickness that caused it to be off. But now you were panicking, what if instead this was your body screaming at you that you were pregnant.
You had never wanted to have kids. The idea of pregnancy was so unappealing to you and was genuinely one of the most terrifying things in your mind. You had no idea what you would do if somehow you were pregnant.
Well that wasn’t entirely true, you knew you would be getting an abortion. The thing you didn’t know how to deal with was Robby. You and he had talked about it early in your relationship and while he wasn’t as against them as you were, he wasn’t someone who needed them to be happy so he had been content with the idea of not having them. But you still weren’t sure how he would react if you were actually pregnant.
As you were spiraling you somehow managed to follow the instructions you were given for the different tests that Samira had ordered. You had stared at the cup of pee for longer than normal, just begging it to come back negative. Once you were back in the room, you laid back and closed your eyes, trying to stop your mind from spiralling. You were sure Robby would respect your decision but you were worried that deep down he’d be disappointed in you.
Robby felt awful that he had forced you to come here to get looked at and then wasn’t able to oversee your care himself but every time he tried to step back over to your room, something pulled him in a million different directions. He knew you were in good hands and honestly, professionally, it was probably better that someone else be overseeing you, but he didn’t like it.
He was finally free of any crisis and in that moment noticed Mohan stepping over to your room with a tablet in hand. He quickly met her in front of your door.
“Let me take a look.” He demanded as he plucked the tablet out of her hand.
“Wait!” She tried to stop him but he was ignoring her as he read over your test results. Most of the numbers looked over seemed normal, but that was when his eyes caught sight of the one result: positive. Shit.
He knew you hadn’t wanted kids. That you were very strongly against the idea, so much so that you had been considering getting your tubes tied so that you two could stop being so careful. He had thought you had been being dramatic when telling him that your family was a very fertile bunch and that IUD was plenty of protection but apparently you hadn’t been being paranoid. He knew that this news would not be happy for you but he couldn’t lie that there was a part of him that felt a little excitement at the idea.
He hadn’t been lying to you when he said he was fine without having children, but there was a difference when the possibility was right there in front of him. He just wasn’t sure how he was going to break this news to you. He would support you no matter what you wanted but there was a part of him that hoped that faced with the reality, maybe your opinion would change.
“Wait, that doesn’t really explain most of her symptoms. She is probably only around 5 weeks.” He suddenly was brought back to reality.
“Yes. She also has the flu.” Samira told him with a slight smirk.
“Right” He nodded as he finally saw that on your chart. “Alright I got it from here.”
He could tell she almost wanted to argue but thought better of it and stepped around him and headed over to the board to find another case to take care of. Robby took a deep breath before pushing back the opening the door and pushing back the curtain.
“Hey baby, how are you feeling?” He asked as he sat down on the stool, scooting it over to you and gently brushing some stray hairs out of your face.
“Like shit.” You told him honestly. You felt nausea roll through your stomach but not because of being sick, but because you knew Robby was holding your chart and one question from Samira and now your head was spinning.
“Well I have good and bad news.” He sighed. “You have the flu. So we’ll give you some meds and you should be feeling much better in a few days.”
“Oh that’s good.” You nodded. Letting yourself start to relax. The flu wasn’t so bad. You weren’t normally a hypochondriac but being in a hospital always had you worried that you were actually dying and had some rare disease that had no research and no cure. The flu was basic enough you weren’t worried.
“Yeah and the bad news.” Robby started.
“Wait, I thought that was already the bad and good news.” You interrupted, starting to panic again.
“Sorry, that was misleading.” He looked down. “You’re also pregnant.”
The room fell silent. You felt as if your entire world was spinning. You really were pregnant. You had been so careful and you had done everything right and yet here you were. You looked down at your stomach and the first image that came to mind was a parasite, something sucking the life out of you, feeding on you. You felt yourself starting to panic.
“No. It has to be wrong. No. We were so careful!” You wanted to use logic to get yourself out of this situation.
Robby felt his chest tighten as he watched you begin to freak out. He hadn’t known how you would react but watching you clearing unhappy hurt him more than he was expecting.
“I know baby, but sometimes things fail and it just happens.” He tried to comfort you.
“But why me?” You asked, barely able to hold back your tears. “I can’t-I can’t”
You started to hyperventilate when the panic that this had really happened had set in.
“Hey, hey, you need to take deep breaths.” Robby coached, immediately realizing what was happening. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure this out.”
You knew what he meant but your brain immediately went to him meaning raising the kid and it only made you panic more. “I can’t” You gasped between breaths.
“I just need you to breathe right now.” He told you calmly, rubbing your back gently, “Follow my lead.”
He began to take long slow breaths in and out. You focused on his chest moving up and down and matched your own breathing with it. “Good, good.”
Robby watched as you managed to get your breathing under control and he felt the hurt in his chest begin to fester even more. Was the idea of carrying his child so repulsive that you weren’t able to fathom it. Was this the reaction Collins had when she had found out she was pregnant? Is that why she had never told him? She couldn’t imagine a world where she raised his offspring.
Logically Robby knew this wasn’t about him, but deep in his heart it seemed to confirm that he wasn’t worthy of your love. That you may tell him you love him and you may to some extent but there was a part of you deep down that knew he wasn’t fully worthy of it.
“Fuck. Sorry. I just, I told myself that if I didn’t want to have kids enough my body would allow me that one thing.”
“It’s okay.” Robby said softly. He didn’t know what to say to you at that moment.
“Okay. You’re right.” You nodded, more to yourself than to him. “I’ll just get an abortion as soon as I can and I’ll be good.”
Robby felt the last piece of his heart break at those words. You sounded so sure. Like you didn’t even need a second to think about it. That there was no question that you wouldn’t be having Robby’s kid.
Before Robby could respond the door popped open and Dana gave him an apologetic glance.
“Multiple motor vehicle accident incoming.” She told him. “Looks like it’s going to be three teens. 2 minutes out.”
“Got it. Be right there.” He nodded to her before turning back to you.
“We’ll get you sorted with the flu meds and then we can talk about the abortion. Okay?” He felt a second of bile rise to his throat at the last word. He thought himself a progressive man. Someone who had administered many women the abortion meds they desired and never once did he bat an eye but he couldn’t help but feel the pain in this moment.
“Okay. Go save some lives.” You gave a weak smile and watched him retreat. You weren’t dumb, you could tell that this was bothering him. At first you had hoped it was just the fact you were pregnant and that you were both on the same page with that, but it was clear to you that was not exactly the case. You had no idea how to fix this. You loved Robby, with every fiber of your being. You knew that you would do anything for him, this was the only exception. Of anything he could ask of you, keeping this pregnancy was the only thing you wouldn’t be able to give him and that broke your heart.
Robby went through the motions of dealing with the multiple traumas, overseeing both but allowing the others to take the lead as his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t shake the thought that he wasn’t good enough, that there had to be something inherently wrong with him that multiple partners wouldn’t want his offspring.
He lets his thoughts go darker still. What if you had gone to MedExpress or your PCP, would you have told him? Would you have waited to talk to him or would you have done what Collins did and kept it a secret from him. While he understood why she had and it was ultimately her right to do so, he couldn’t help but question what that said about him that she didn’t feel she could trust him with that information.
Once the chaos of the motor vehicle patients had been resolved he made sure to put in the order for your flu medication. He took the cowardly approach and decided to check on a few of his other patients and the residents and med students while your meds were being filled. He knew he should have at least popped his head in to see you but the hurt of your indifference was too fresh.
“Surprised I’m not finding you in there with her already.” Dana commented when she finally tracked Robby down to let him know your meds were ready.
“I wish I could be but there are others here too.” He snipped out. He knew she would catch the tone in his voice and was glad all she gave him was a raised eyebrow instead of a scolding.
“Right. Well take a second because I am sure she’d much rather be at home than stuck in here and as you always say, we need to clear as many beds as possible.” She told him before walking away.
Robby let out a heavy breath before heading back to your room. He tried to tell himself he needed to get over his own feelings but he wasn’t sure how well he would be able to.
“Hey, get your flu meds here and I will put in your discharge paperwork so you should be good to get out of here soon.”
“That’s good. I very much want to curl up and go to sleep.” You admitted. Your voice was timid, you had been stuck in this room, stewing over what was going on in Robby’s mind. You knew there was no other choice for you but you also knew you were going to have to talk to him about this and you weren’t sure what this would mean for the two of you.
“I bet.” He nodded. He jumped right into his care instructions, when to take your medications, to make sure to drink plenty of water, etc. You nodded along but didn’t miss how impersonal he was being. You were hoping it was just his work default but your gut said otherwise.
“And about the abortion?” You asked with a wince.
“Right.” He nodded, almost to himself as if he’d hoped you changed your mind. “You will have to wait until after the flu symptoms subside. But also, can we talk about this more? Tonight?”
You could hear his desperation and felt yourself deflate. You knew he had a right to this conversation but you were already preparing for the fallout of it. You were coming up with a list of friends who had spare bedrooms that would let you crash for a few nights, trying to decide what neighborhood you would look for apartments in, and lots of other things.
“Of course. But Robby, I don’t want you to have some false hope, I don’t see my mind being changed but I am happy to talk through my decision.” You didn’t want him spending his shift thinking you would change your mind.
“Okay.” He looked down, avoiding eye contact. In some ways he was glad you weren’t trying to give him false hope but it also hurt to know you didn’t need time to think and you were settled in your ways.
He made sure your discharge was all taken care of and called you an uber since he had driven you in, and sent you on your way. The rest of his shift was a blur. He was going through the motions, worrying over a conversation that was to come and one he didn’t really know the result of.
“Everything okay man?” Jack asked him when it was clear that handover was being half assed at best.
“Fine.” Robby responded curtly.
“Is your girl okay?” Jack asked, he hadn’t been on the previous night shift so Robby wasn’t sure how he even knew you had been in, but the way gossip traveled, he wasn’t surprised.
“All good. Just the flu.” He told Jack.
“That’s good.” Jack nodded. He could sense there was more to it but also could tell that Robby wasn’t going to give him any more information so he decided it wasn’t worth the hassle. “Well I think we’re good here so get yourself home so you can take care of her.”
“Right. Will do.” With that, Robby grabbed his bag and walked out the door. He was in such a haze, he hadn’t even remembered he had driven in and was nearly three quarters of the way home before it dawned on him. He let out a frustrated sigh and considered turning around to get it so he could delay getting home but ultimately decided it could wait until his next shift.
He found you curled up in bed, a massive pile of blankets over you, and sleeping soundly. He stopped in the doorway, watching you sleep, feeling a tug in his chest. He was so conflicted with his current feelings; he loved you so much but he couldn’t help feeling that you clearly must not fully reciprocate.
He finally stepped into the room, trying to be as quiet as possible. He checked the water bottle you had sitting on the counter and was happy to find it mostly empty, drinking water was not one of your favorite things. He decided to let you sleep more and stepped out of the room, refilling your water and grabbing a powerade as well.
When he stepped back into the bedroom, you began to stir. “Already past 7?” You questioned, your voice laced with grogginess.
“Yeah, assuming you’ve been asleep since you got home?” Robby questioned. He sat down the water on the nightstand before opening the Powerade and handing it to you as you sat up.
“After fixing and drinking some water, yeah.” You took the drink from him and took ginger sips, keeping your gaze from meeting his own.
A tense silence settled over the room. Robby felt like he was waiting for a bomb to drop. That you were going to tell him that you’ve thought about it and you realized that it’s him who is the problem and you don’t want to be with him anymore. He’s already calculating how pissed Jack will be if he finds Robby sleeping on his couch.
“I’m just going to say something to rip the bandaid off and I need you to listen to me.” You finally broke the silence. “I love you, more than I can even begin to put into words. You’re everything to me and the thought of losing you makes me feel worse than this flu or anything I have ever felt, but I can’t have this baby. I spend the whole time sitting in the ER and on the way home, and even in my sleep, trying to see myself having this kid and loving them but I just- I can’t. I’m so sorry. You deserve someone who can give you what you want and I hate that it’s not me.”
You took a shaky breath, still not looking at Robby. Before he can gather anything to say back you kept going, “While I don’t want to lose you, I understand if this is a dealbreaker for you. I won’t hold it against you if this is it for us.”
With still no response from Robby, you felt the sob rip through you as you started to cry. You wished you were more selfish, that you wouldn’t let him leave you over this but you couldn’t do that to him. You knew you would never find someone as good as him but yet, you loved him too much to watch him resent you.
You felt his thumb on your cheek as he swept your tears away. When he realized they were still pouring out, he gently cupped your face in both of his hands and pulled your face up to meet his gaze.
“Hey, hey, I’m not going anywhere.” He assured you and continued to wipe away the tears as he rolled down your cheeks.
“But-“
“But nothing. I knew that going into this relationship you didn’t want kids, that hasn’t changed and I don’t plan to leave over the first hiccup we encounter.” He told you, his voice was steady, there was no hesitation in what he was saying.
Robby had shocked himself. Just a few minutes ago, he was prepared for you to break up with him but now that you were trying, he refused to let you. It still hurt him a little, to feel so unwanted in that way, but listening to your rambled attempt to break up, he realized it really wasn’t anything about him and that calmed his heart enough to see the pain this was causing you.
“But in the hospital.” You started. “I was so sure you were disappointed when I asked about the abortion.”
Robby let out a heavy sigh. He was never big on expressing his feelings but he knew this was something that needed to be put in the open and couldn’t be shoved in a box and ignored.
“I was.” He admitted. “And I’m sorry that I projected that to you when you were having to deal with your own feelings on this. I just- you’re not the first woman who I have gotten pregnant..”
“You have a kid?” You interrupted confused.
“No. She also had an abortion.” He revealed. “And I only just learned about it even though the relationship was years ago, and I guess I was just in my own head about not being good enough for you or her or anyone.”
“Oh, Robby baby, I promise this has nothing do to with you! If I were going to have anyone’s kid, it would be yours. If anyone isn’t deserving it’s me. I love you so much. I promise this is a me thing.”
Robby leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. “Trust me you are more than I deserve.”
“Well I guess that is mutual.” You sighed as the weight of the worry over losing Robby started to lift from your chest. “This really okay with you?”
“Of course, it’s you and me, and that’s all I need, I promise”
