#dr snow

[talesfromsiteredacted]

The Garden of Inter-Site Tranquility

Everyone here has a side project, it seems. Dr. Gears builds robots, Dr. Clef tortures people via ukulele, Dr. Iceberg is a very good archer. Me? I like playing in the dirt, planting stuff. And, thanks to a little help from my friends... hard work is paying off handsomely. We have the only rooftop park/zen garden/flower garden in the Foundation, so far.

It took years, and tons of wheeling, dealing, and in one memorable case, outright stealing, but... it is finished. The Garden of Inter-Site Tranquility. A quaint little rooftop slice of heaven. Pretty sure Granddad would love it. He ought to, he inspired it in a way.

It's no Shangri-la, nor will it ever be anything as grand as Eden, but it's ours. A modest little gazebo with seating, surrounded by roses and other delightful flora. A brick path to a Zen garden, a small tea area, and the tool shed. There's even a small koi pond, with a stone fountain. There's a bonsai pine in the corner, this Hogswatch I'll decorate it.

First though... I need to plan a bit more. If I want this to be something everyone enjoys, I need ground rules. But... I can't resist the urge to show off the hard work. I get an idea. 166 never gets to do anything outside. Since technically neither of us are leaving Foundation grounds, maybe Meri would like a bit of fresh air?

I head to her quarters, and knock on her door.

"Hi, Meri? I'm Dr. Snow, and I'd like to ask a tiny, harmless favor, if I may."

"Dr. Snow? Ah, I think I remember you. The Hoodoo doll lady, right?" I could listen to Meri all day, there's just something about an Irish accent that sits right in the ear, Nan says. I have to agree.

"Yep, that I am. Only today I have something different in mind. I kind of did a thing, a rooftop oasis in this depressing concrete labyrinth. I'd like your honest informal opinion on it, if you're willing?"

"Absolutely, my dear Dr. Snow. Any excuse to breathe nonrecyled air. Lay on, good Doctor." The door opens, and we head to the roof. I open the access door, and Meri laughs.

"Dr. Snow, this is incredible. It's a little miracle from God. Sister Agnes, rest her soul, would love this. There's even a rose garden! I love roses. You didn't do all this by yourself, did ye?"

"I had a lot of help, from 343 and Cain helping plan the layout, the boys in Procurement getting me supplies and plants, had tips on koi pond management from Agent Arrisoka's granddad, I even bribed a few D-Class with free beer and pizza to help with planting and labor. It was a huge project, but worth it." I ran a hand through my messy hair. "Since you don't get out a lot, I thought you'd like a sneak peak before the grand public unveiling."

"Rather sweet of you, Dr. Snow. I have to say, this is lovely." So is the smile on Meri.

"Once I open it to everyone, I'll have to schedule some time blocks so that you and some of our other residents can enjoy it too. After all, it's nice to see the flowers, hear the bees and birds flying about, and get away for a bit even if we never actually leave the grounds."

"Aye, that it is." We take a stroll along the path leading to the koi pond. "Dr. Snow... do the other doctors know about this? I'd hate for you to get into trouble."

"They know. Dr. Gears even sent up the gravel for the Zen garden. Dr. Clef helped too, just don't ask where those koi came from."

"I'm more worried about how he got them here."

"Very carefully, was the answer I got. I didn't want to know more."

"Probably best not to look gift koi too deeply in the mouth anyhow." We have a good chuckle over Clef. I love him, but he does tend to be a bit of a kleptomaniac. He's certainly always stealing kisses from me, at least.

After a while, the daylight begins to fade.

"We should head back, they'll miss me at head count if I'm not there."

"Good idea. I did promise Dr. Gears first rake of the Zen garden, there's just enough light left by the time we get you home."

Speaking of Dr. Gears, I ran into him once I got Meri in her quarters. I just wordlessly handed him the gravel rake, and headed back up to the roof with him in tow. I must have outdid even my expectations, I never heard Dr. Gears whistle before. Yet, here he is, whistling as he rakes. 343 help me, I think I might be on to something here.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Testing: Phase Two

O5 wants to see firsthand how I'd handle myself in a legitimate breach. Lucky for them, and unlucky for me... Big Brother woke up and chose violence. He trashed his quarters, is chasing the guards around, classic Abel on a rampage. All because Agent Dimitriov had to take a few days to say good bye to his dying mother. So, into the Semetic dragon's den go I. Honestly... I have a bad feeling about this, kids.

Great. He was doing so well. Then, sadly, Dimi lost his mom. Thus, Abel is now tearing apart the killing corridor piece by piece. Just in time for O5 to see just how much I learned from Big Brother. So, it's just me going in. Clef is livid. He's trailing behind myself and the O5, shouting at them.

"You can't be serious, sending Rabbit in alone. And unarmed? She's not ready. You're not throwing her into the deep end, you're throwing her to a very angry shark." At this, O5-12 spins on his heel.

"Do you have a better idea on determining if our Rabbit can swim? Besides, this line of reasoning is almost comical coming from you, Dr. Clef. Are you, or are you not, known for "simulating" type Green attacks in your classes?"

"Yeah, but-"

"This is no different. Rabbit can do this. We have faith in her. Now, stop coddling her and let her get on with it. Proceed with testing, Dr. Snow." I swallow my nerves and approach the doors. Just before I go in, Clef stops me.

"Be careful, Snowbunny. I'd hate to have to find a new assistant, you're a tough act to follow." I force myself to smile before I answer.

"No worries, I'll be fine. But... if I survive I think I earned takeout."

"Done. Try not to die, Snowbunny." A quick hug, a passing kiss on the cheek, and... into the mouth of hell I go. I try not to wince when the doors close behind me.

I reach the killing corridor proper, and don't even get to wince before Big Brother is swinging at my head with a kopesh. I teleport behind him, kick him down. Then, he gets up and tackles me. He punches my head, but finds only the steel plating where I was. I stab him in his left leg with an ice shard. Bad call. He just yanks it out, flings it back at my head. I duck, it shatters. Before I can recover, I'm dodging a flurry of punches while trying to hit him back. This... is going to get me killed. But... if I can pull this off, it might take some of the fight out of Abel. While I'm trying to fight off his attacks, he's managed to not only expose a very handy piece of steel plumbing pipe, he's also thoughtfully disconnected a large segment of it, about two meters. Bit heavy, but... I manage to levitate it and swing it as hard as I can. Abel tumbles off me, holding his head. Before long, he recovers. He's slower, so at least I concussed him. I take my chance to see if I can snap him out of it.

"SCP 076-2, WHAT IN THE KENTUCKY FRIED FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?"

Shit. Forgot my voice also got power upgrades. He looks like I just flash-banged him point blank. His dagger clatters to the floor. Awareness dawns on him like a sunrise.

"You... screamed at me. Did... oh, (untranslatable), I might have made a mistake."

"Yeah, but it's fixable. No worries. Sorry." I grab Abel's shoulder, give it a gentle squeeze. "Hey, Dimi will be back in two days. That's 48 hours. You made it twice that before today. I know you miss him, this just isn't how to handle it."

"You are, as always right, Little Sister. This is all new to me."

"It's okay. Just... maybe ask to use the Rage Cage next time?"

The intercom crackles by the door.

"Wait... when did we get a Rage Cage? Oh, you mean the Room of Self Replicating Porcelain Plates? How do you know about that? That's Level 4 clearance, Dr. Snow." There's quiet murmuring behind O5-2. "Dr. Clef's assistant, in charge of Anomalous Enrichment Protocol? Oh,.. yeah. Fine. We will authorize 076-2 for the Rage Cage. But! No more rampages, understood?"

"Understood."

"Good."

"O5-2, sir? Request permission to escort 076-2 to the Rage Cage to... calm down, give the E-Class a chance to straighten up in here. I'll keep a very sharp eye on him."

"See that you do, Dr. Snow." Abel consents to being strapped down for transport. As this is happening, and can take a bit due to multiple multiple straps, I step into the hall. O5-11 is talking to Clef, waiting.

"I knew you'd handle things, Dr. Snow. And, Dr. Clef? Fire her and the Red Right Hand will shoot you."

"Wouldn't dream of it, sir. In a way... I think I owe O5-6 some whiskey for hiring her." This had me smiling despite the pain creeping in from where Abel hit me. Ugh. Thank 343 it was mostly fists on his end. Even still, I'm going to be black and blue all over by nightfall. But... no, I didn't die. Sure, no amount of makeup will cover the huge bruise I'm sure is forming on my left jawline, but I survived, somehow.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Questions New Staffers Often Ask

Starting any new job has questions. Who are you guys, why are you making me do this, when is lunch, and of course... we get paid for this, right? No worries, Auntie Rabbit is here with the important answers. As a witch, anomaly, and senior staffer, I'm not allowed to accept cash. But... payment in candy is always welcome, I also accept wine, nice beads, art supplies, and tea. Senior staffers are generally discouraged in buying/receiving souls in payment, FYI. There's some useful stuff, but there's also some... well... less-than-intelligent questions I've had thrown at me.

Is it possible to ride 682? In theory, yes. In practice, anyone who tried it other than Dr. Kondraki wound up as a tasty between meal snack for our oversized asshole kaiju knockoff. So, in practice... no.

Does 049 know what the Pestilence is? Tough one... yes and no, I'd say. He knows what to look for but not the actual transmission vector.

Which 001 is the real one? Don't know, honestly. It's way above even Dr. Gears' clearance levels. Best not to speculate. I honestly doubt it'll matter to the dead.

No, you cannot arrange for your ex to contract a nasty viral SCP as revenge for dumping you. Using anomalies for such purposes is forbidden, you will be demoted to D-Class, then further demoted to corpse. What is wrong with some of you?

Yes, I had to go through Dr. Clef's seminars, just like you. No, I do not know what he uses. No, I'm not the least bit curious. Yes, I puked up my breakfast like everyone else. Just because Clef likes me, I get off no easier than the lot of you. Pro tip for those who haven't taken the seminar yet... smuggle in some ginger ale and plain saltines. Trust me, it will make recovery easier.

It's perfectly safe to talk to 049 and other Euclid/Safe class anomalies provided protocols are followed. That being said, please stop trying to sell them multilevel marketing stuff. Multilevel marketing is banned throughout all Foundation sites for good reason, and it's not like the anomalies have money.

No, SCP Speed Dating never happened. No, there are no records. No, you're not supposed to even think of the anomalies like that. 076-2 may be "fine AF" and "hotter than the deserts", he's also incredibly likely to kill you before you even say hello to him. It never happened, it never WILL happen, anyone trying to make it happen will have their own date... with 173.

While I'm sure 049 would love a hug now and then, it's not safe. Sorry, but he IS Euclid for a reason, no matter how sweet and nice he is.

Putting 999 in a blender is a bit like going on a high speed tilt-a-whirl for him. That being said, it feels so wrong even thinking of it. So, no 999 blender rides. Feel free to give him hugs though.

If Dr. Clef asks you to do something, think long and hard before agreeing. If Dr. Bright asks, the answer is automatically 'No.'

The Bright List is supposed to be a horrible warning, not a how-to guide.

Dr. Gears is, indeed, human. He just had his sense of humor shot off. Probably by Bright or Clef.

No, you cannot have a Ketchup Puppy as a pet. They're simply impossible to house train.

This one is for Dr. Clef: yes, mushrooms decay around Cain. He killed the growth on my maitake log on my desk. I'm not mad, though. Turns out, being both plantlike and animalistic to a degree just meant my poor maitake lasted five minutes versus the normal instant decay. They never grew back. I'm not big on mushrooms anyway. He also kills lichen.

We tried 682 burgers. Worst. Burgers. Ever! Not even dousing the things in ghost pepper sauce could save them. It was like biting the zombie back, honestly. Don't ask how I came to that conclusion.

Speaking of biting back the zombies... 682 DID contract 008 that way once. He was sick for all of an hour, but got better. He really is nigh unkillable.

I do not recognize the bodies in the water. You do not recognize the bodies in the water. No one recognizes the bodies in the water.

How many SCPs are there? We're not entirely sure. Some would say we're a bit overladen with Keters, though. I do know the database lies.

The staff restroom is located to the left of the south wing, three doors after the supply closet. Now you know.

Everyone says Dr. Clef is two-faced. That's simply false. He's got more faces than a mask shop. They just look a lot alike.

Advice for the ladies out there: if a thin, weasel-faced MTF agent with greasy brown hair and more bumps on his face than 20 km of bad road asks if you want to see a 'naked Mole Rat', say no. Agent O'Hare really needs to get new lines.

No, sadly... the cake is real. Really, really, REALLY bad. The breads are also terrible. In fact... try to avoid the cafeteria food if possible.

No, Iris does not like the flower she's named for. She says the scent is choking. So, if you're going to give Agent Thompson flowers, daisies or roses are the safe bets.

No one knows who exactly is on O5. And it's not worth the risk of becoming bunkies with the D-Class to find out.

How to tell if a Type Green is mucking about in reality's egg salad? Doors and windows vanishing is a big clue. Inanimate objects trying to bite you, floors falling away, suddenly feeling like the entire universe hates you specifically, and colors shifting. Just close your eyes for a second, if you're confident in your safety, breathe in, hold for 7 seconds, breathe out. Remind yourself of where you were before it all went weird. Then, shoot the Bixby before he rescrambles your egg. (I need to step away from the Bioshock, next thing you know I'll be referring to Clef as Big Daddy, he'd be way too into that!)

Food fights are (technically) forbidden. However, in case of Containment Beach/outside invasion, you can, in fact, use Mabel's baked goods as impromptu weapons. That poor MC&D thug never saw that baguette coming. Yes, it would count as a Geneva Covention violation on the outside, but as the Geneva Accords do not apply to us... the Parker House rolls work great as projectiles. Dr. Iceberg didn't even need to freeze them. They can instacrit harder than the RE4 rotten eggs!

Running crappy dollar store novels through 914 is a waste of time. Nothing can improve those saccharine pieces of mass published literary junk food.

Yes, Dr. Bright nearly started a war with Amazon. Yes, while breaches were down that week, it wasn't worth facing Bezos. Nothing is.

Playing tag with the Keters is forbidden. Why? Why do you want to die so badly?

Playing ANYTHING with Dr. Bright is a bad call. He's a sore loser. No card games with Dr. Cimmerian either, he's been banned from every casino, back room poker game, Pokémon tournament, and even the site 25 weekly cribbage games. He never cheats, he's just really good at card games. Anomalously good.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

SCP 096/Giant Snorlax Testing

Dr. Sherman and I were discussing some of the more... out there ideas in Anomalous Enrichment. One of the most surprising ideas: give the Shy Guy one of those ten feet tall Snorlax plushies. Here's an informal record of the Snorlax test, I'll dress up the results in Foundation jargon later.

Testing procedure: while 096 is, er... otherwise engaged, sneak in the giant creature via a random D-Class.

096 was "permitted" to breach containment and chase a few of our less than cooperative D-Class around the Keter subbasement 4. As this occurred, D-34076 placed the Snorlax inside 096's quarters. D-34076 was not harmed during this phase as 096 was not in his quarters. D-34076 was then allowed to resume their usual routine. 096 was then recaptured and reconfined to aforementioned quarters.

Upon discovery of the giant Snorlax, 096 gave it a poke. Upon seeing a lack of reaction from the intruder... 096 then curls up on the plushie's stomach, and promptly fell asleep. Researcher Asimov was amused to discover 096 snores. Further observation revealed 096 is quite fond of his new flatmate.

"I never thought I'd say this about 096, but this is honestly kinda heartwarming. Look at how he's hugging the Snorlax, this is the closest to "happy" we've ever seen him. I'd say call the test successful, but I forgot what this was supposed to prove." Dr. Sherman remarks.

"Not sure this test was supposed to have a point, Dr. Sherman. Aside from no one can resist the Snorlax snuggle."

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Where's My Anomaly? An SCP Short Bedtime Tale

I got bored of reading "Where's My Cow?" to Evie, so I improvised. Apologies to Sir Terry Pratchett in advance. I had to. I'm so, so sorry. Here's the tale... and cue the bedtime silliness!

Researcher Jonas is wandering through the site, looking for his anomaly. Will he find it? I hope so, some of these things are scary. He makes his way down the hall, in the dark. Hunt the Anomaly is not as fun during a power outage.

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "AAAAGGH! GET IT OFF ME! BAD LIZARD!" It is a 682! That's not my anomaly. Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Urrrg." It is a 008! That's not my anomaly. Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Clank clang clank, reeeee!" It is a 914! That's not my anomaly! Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Swish, swish, stab... Aaaagh!" It is a 076-2! That's not my anomaly! Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "My cure is most effective." It is a 049! That's not my anomaly. Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Whirr, whirr, pour." It is a 294! That's not my anomaly. Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Strrrummm, strrrrummm, strrrrummmmm... dear 343 just finish the song already!" It is a Dr. Clef! That's not my anomaly. Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Grump, grump, freeze!" It is a Dr. Iceberg! That's not my anomaly. Where's my anomaly?

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Not again! Not the apple seeds!" It is a Dr. King! That's not my anomaly. Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Your reports are overdue again." It is a Dr. Gears! That's not my anomaly. Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Would you like a hug, maybe a cookie?" It is a Dr. Glass! That's not my anomaly. Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Request the explodium, it'll be a blast." It is a Dr. Myriad. That's not my anomaly. Where's my anomaly?"

"Where's my anomaly? Is that my anomaly? It goes "Squish, tickle, giggle!" That IS my anomaly! Hurray, hurray, it's a wonderful day for I have found my anomaly at last."

At this point, the lights returned, and Researcher Jonas takes 999 for a healthy (for our favorite delightful little blobby buddy anyway) lunch of gummy worms, peanut butter cups, and a nice caffeine free orange soda. He was happy his friend was all right.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Big Brother's Softer Side

For the record, SCP 076-2, also known as Abel, does indeed have some feelings. Man's anomalous, not dead. In fact... Big Brother has several cute little nicknames for both his squeeze Dimitriov and his sisters. Heck, Abel's even getting fond of Liam, but he IS kind of an animal lover. Cain was kind enough to translate these for us. And now... Abel's favorite pet names!

Iris' Nicknames:

"Little Wildflower"

"Sweet Sister"

"Petal"

"Cute but will stab you"

"Give up the chocolate and she won't hurt you" (way faster to say in ancient Sumerian)

"My sibling in misery" (usually when he's feeling sarcastic)

Liam's List:

"Thief of Cheese" (little blighter stole the last mozzarella stick out of his hand one pizza night, but thankfully Abel was too amused at the stones on my cat to steal from HIM to chase him)

"Daft bastard" (with affection after he got into Abel's quarters, high on the nip again)

"(REDACTED) son of a motherless goatherd" First time Liam swatted him. Abel was laughing at the time.

"Fluffing fluff"

"Liam the Daft" Accurate.

"Bane of the Fae" After Liam nabbed an invading pictsie.

Dimitriov's Pet Names (warning: major mush ahead)

"Sweet Lips/Hot Lips"

"My moon and stars"

"Polar Bear/Cuddle Bear/Honey Bear/Papa Bear"

"Darling One"

"My heart's delight"

"Buttercup"

"The main reason I put up with any of this (REDACTED) nonsense these days"

"My better side"

"Heartsease"

"Orange blossom" (way more romantic in Sumerian, and Abel's second favorite flower according to Cain)

And finally... my turn!

"Little Rabbit"

"Trouble in a green dress"

"Killer Rabbit"

"(REDACTED) little pain in my backside"

"Fiery little snowdrop"

"She who you do not want to anger"

"Shortarse" (inexplicably dropped after my 914 incident)

"Oh dear gods stop crying and fight already, woman!" (Again... Way faster in ancient Sumerian, back when I was first training with Big Brother. Got used a lot those first two months)

"Brat"

[talesfromsiteredacted]

A Sweet Surprise

Little known fact around here, but we have our own ice cream carts. In summer, they're wheeled out for good behavior. Since there hasn't been a Euclid class breach in over a month... ice cream party, y'all!

It's Friday afternoon, and while it's insanely hot outside, everybody has been chill. So chill in fact Dr. Gears has authorized use of the ice cream carts to deliver pints of frozen goodwill throughout Euclid containment.

Rob, one of the interns, is walking with me throughout the wing. We're passing out the pints of dairy deliciousness to various residents. How it works is a bit like Oprah and cars... YOU get ice cream, and YOU get ice cream, and YOU in the back gets ice cream... EVERYBODY GETS ICE CREAM! Before long we reach my old friend, 049. I knock on the door to his quarters.

"Hiya, Doc! You busy?"

"For you, Rabbit? I always have time. I see things are a bit... hectic."

"Not too hectic, I've got time for a break. Care for some ice cream on this overly warm Friday?"

"Ice cream?"

"Yeah... Dr. Gears said everybody was behaving for once, so... you all get some creamy frozen treats. Any preference, 049?"

"Any chance of some strawberry?"

"Let me see..." Rob starts rooting through the cart. "Uh, no plain strawberry left but there's strawberry cheesecake, chocolate covered strawberry, or strawberry mango sorbet." He pipes up after a quick search.

"Surprise me, young man."

Rob picks a pint at random. "Ah, strawberry cheesecake it is." He slides the pint and a plastic spoon through the slot in 049's door. The Doc takes his treat.

"Thank you, my friends. I shall enjoy this immensely." We move on. I check the list. Amazingly, we're out of Euclid deliveries. Rob taps me on the arm.

"Hey, Dr. Snow? Think Doc would like some company? Kind of feel bad, he doesn't get a lot of visitors."

"Officially, I'm supposed to advise against that. But... he knows the rules, as do you. Just stay on your side, and I'll act like I never saw anything. If Site Command asks, you're thinking of medical training, wanted his opinion on the idea. It's a convincing enough lie."

"Especially since it's mostly true. See you later, Dr. Snow." I leave to put the cart away, icy payloads delivered. On my way back, I see a sight that makes me feel slightly better about how things are here: Rob and 049, having a lively conversation about the arduous task of becoming a physician. 049 is happy to give his expertise to his fellow healers, although few dare take him up on it. Glad he and Rob are getting on, though. I think 049 gets a bit lonely like the rest of us from time to time. Having a new friend will be good for both of them.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

SCP: Secret Cuddle Pals

Alto Clef is many things; senior member of Site Command, expert on counterreality bending tactics, deadly with a shotgun, overly fond of loud Polynesian shirts with crocs and cargo shorts, addicted to CS:GO... and nowhere near as creepy as some people have been led to believe.

It's late Friday night, in fact... it's actually now Saturday morning. I'm trying and failing to get some sleep. My Nan told me the reason I have trouble sleeping is I'm awake in someone else's dreams. Kinda want to find them and wake them up so I can get some shut eye. I no sooner think this when I get a text on my cell.

Can't sleep?- Clef

How the hell does he know I'm still up? I fire off a response.

Nope. Guess you can't either. Wanna not sleep together?

I had to laugh out loud when I got the next text.

You read my warped mind, Snowbunny. ETA in 5.

He must have meant five seconds, not five minutes. I no sooner read the message when he knocks on my door. He's wearing an old ACDC tee, scrub pants... and his pink crocs. Peak Comfy Clef Chic. He looks as sheepish as our Big Bad Wolf can manage.

"Er. Sorry. Kind of a last minute thing." I laugh, and let him in.

"Another Montauk episode, Sugarbeard?"

"Nothing quite so horrifying. I just... couldn't stop thinking of you tonight. Nothing sexual, but it felt really good when I drifted off in your arms last time."

Not the confession I was expecting, but I know how hard it is for him to admit to anything.

"Okay. So... Secret Cuddle Pals? This is just between us, not that anyone would ever believe us if we told anyone. None of their business anyway, right?"

We head to my bedroom, and he theatically pulls back the covers. I climb in, he follows once I settle on my back. His head lays on my chest again, and he sighs in contentment as his arms enclose me. I lean down, kiss the top of his head. Before long, he's gently snoring into my pajama top. Not sure if there's an actual heaven, but being in Alto's arms is close enough for now.