Solace
part 1
Jonathan Crane x reader
Warnings : student - teacher relationship, crime, psychological obsession
Music : Alone / With you - Daughter
a/n : No-one requested this lol so enjoy the product of my unhealthy obsession with Jonathan crane <3
Summery : A new professor takes on y/n's psychology class in the middle of the semester. She doesn't think much of it at first but strangely amidst the chaos of Gotham city she finds herself being drawn to him. As she gets closer she finds out the sinister truth behind his strange obsession with fear.
Y/n's day started the same way most of the time. She would leave her quiet apartment and take a crammed 15 minute subway ride to her university. Today she was lucky enough to find a seat on the crowed train even though that didn't save her from being very up-close and personal to the other passengers who held on to the straps just above her seat. She dreaded it but the music that flowed through her ears like needle and thread made it a little more bearable. She was listening to Alone With You by Daughter one of her favorite bands. She recognized a familiar station as the train came to a screeching halt. She got up from her seat quickly exiting the train. Relief swept over her as she breathed the inky air of the underground station, glad to be out of the rusty old rice cooker Gotham considered public transport . She pushed through groups of meandering people clutching onto her bookbag because if there was one thing Gotham was famous for it was crime. Y/n had heard countless stories of people getting robbed and beat to death or raped in this very same subway station. The stories made her afraid, being wary of any strangers or unwanted company. She wanted to be invisible and maybe if no-one knew her she couldn't be the victim of some cruel murder, right?
Y/n’s POV
I quietly walked into the lecture room my sneakers stepped gently over the marble floor not wanting to make my presence know to anyone. I plopped into my seat which was right at the front of the class. I didn't particularly like it there but the back of the class had a tendency of creating unnecessary distractions. The indistinct chatter from the class creeped up under the chords of the music that was still playing in my ears. I took out my computer, flipping it open with ease. A brown leather book stuck out from my bookbag, I pulled it out flipping it open to the most recent pages. I scribble down a few notes and reminders. A gentle tap on the shoulder triggered a fast response from me as I whipped my head around. Salina stood beside me, bright and smiling as usual. I pulled the earphones out of my ears returning a smile in her direction. "Good morning earphone head!" she teased taking the seat next to me. Salina was one of the few people if not the only person I had befriended in Gotham . She was sarcastic and stylish and didn't seem put off by my quietness when we first met. " Have you heard about the new professor?" she queried taking out her own books.
"no", I responded looking back to my notes.
"Of course you haven't I wonder if you ever know anything that's going on around here," she said letting out a sigh of exasperation.
"How interesting could a psychology professor be?" I commented while scribbling some more notes.
" Apparently he's a doctor who works at Arkham," she furthered peering at my notes from my shoulder.
Before I could even think of a response the door of the now full lecture hall swung open a tall dark haired figure stalked in. He gradually became clearer as he moved closer to the desk. His hair was a deep brown and as he looked up I caught sight of his almost electric blue eyes that appeared to have endless unexplored depths. He wore a dark grey suit, tie tucked neatly under his sweater. It suddenly dawned on me that I had been staring for too long. I quickly pulled away my gaze. "Good morning class, my name is Dr. Crane I will be taking your psychology classes for the rest of the semester. I expect you to keep working well as you did with your previous professor. Today we will be closing on Trauma and starting a new topic," he said turning swiftly on his heel to roughly spell out the word Fear on the dusty chalk board. " I trust you are all taking notes, now let us begin".
His voice left an echo ringing in my head and I couldn't help but steal a glance at him every once in a while as he spoke. There was something about him that sparked curiosity inside of me. The lesson was long but it felt short it felt like a small glimpse into the expansive maze that was his mind. Like a small drop from sea of everything he knew.
I packed up my things placing my computer into my book bag as I glanced towards him one last time. He sat on his desk writing something in a notebook. I left.
Overlapping conversations pilled up into muffled noises as I walked through the hallways. My book bag felt heavy on my shoulder as I bumped past figures and bodies trying to get to the library. The large brass door finally came into sight and a sigh of silent relief left my lips. The campus library wasn't fancy in fact it was quite the opposite. Piles of returned books lay untouched by the librarian's desk. People here didn't really bother to sign the books they took out back in. They would simply pile them up by the desk and leave all the work for the librarian. Two old wooden tables stretched out in the front of the library and that's where most student sat down to study. I always found it too crowded. I preferred the small forgotten couch at the very back of the library. Pushed in amongst discarded old textbooks and encyclopedias the small couch was almost flattened yet mildy comfortable nonetheless . I pulled my knees into my chest so I could fit into the small space the couch offered leaning in against the wiry armrest for comfort. I pulled out the book I'd been meaning to read for ages, Blink by Malcom Gladwell. Prying it open with bated breath I delved in desperately needing a distraction from thoughts surrounding my new professor. His voice still echoed in my mind like a religious harmony through a cathedral. I hoped that the book would help to ease my mind and as I flipped through one page and then the next it began to do just that.
My eyes blinked open a sharp brightness peeling through them blurring my vision temporarily. Soon enough they adjusted to the harsh lighting and my mind followed behind piecing together information that could lead to where I currently was. The creaky wooden shelves glowed dull grey under the fluorescent lighting and the small couch now felt like a metal stretcher fit for an insane asylum. Uncomfortable. I stretched out my arms, a yawn erupting from my mouth as I did. I fell asleep in the Library. The book I was reading was now sprawled out on the floor mockingly. I sighed, frustration creating creases on my forehead. A sudden sense of urgency prompted me to scramble to my feet, vertigo punishing me instantly for doing it so quickly. I proceeded to scan the library who's lights now flooded the room creating a clear contrast between it and the night sky that was visible through the dusty windows. I picked my book up from the floor and dropped it into my book bag the terror in me coming alive like a werewolf on a full moon. It was night time in Gotham. Some called them the dread hours, that time of day when the lights were off and criminals could do all sorts of sinister things under the cover of darkness.
I barged through the brass door of the library my pace urgent and uneven. I fished my phone out of my bag, it lit up instantly showing we the many calls that Salina had left for me. I was frustrated with myself for being so careless. I picked up my pace as my shoes made skidding sounds across the marble floor. The halls of the University that were once alive with students buzzing in and out of their respective lectures were now desolate and eerie. I walked briskly to the main exit trying to figure out how I would get home in the process. Taking the subway at this time would be like asking to be murdered and who knows what kind of creeps would be wondering around the streets this late. My mind raced with anxious thoughts, so much so that I didn't notice when I collide with something in my path.
I went stiff, fear sending cold hard ice flowing through my veins in the place of blood. I guess my panic response must be freeze because the though of mobility was foreign to me in this moment. I looked up to see who it was I had bumped into and my eyes grew wide as I saw professor Crane standing right in front of me. My posture softened and I could feel my veins defrosting as the cold feeling of fear thawed into relief. I was relived to see him but also curious as to what he was doing so late in the school.
" Oh professor I'm so sorry I must not have been looking where I was going," a string of apologies came bounding out of me.
" No, I should have been more attentive, miss...what is your name?" He questioned bright blue eyes staring into mine through his glasses.
" y/n L/n" I said nerves pricking me in the gut like thumb tacks.
" Miss y/n, may I ask what you are doing in school at this hour?" He said voice professional yet heavy with intrigue.
" I, uhm lost track of time." I half lied fearing what he would think of me if I told him the truth.
" How are you getting home?" He asked eyes wandering around my face like a biologist observing a new kind of bacteria under a microscope. Fascinated.
I ducked my head down, helplessness building up in me like a kettle of boiling water. " I don't exactly know," I said in a low voice.
" Well I couldn't allow you to go on your own," he paused observing my demeanor for a short moment, " Gotham is a very dangerous place you know filled with very dangerous people, we wouldn't want you meeting any of them now would we." He said a slight edge to his voice this time.
"No, professor" I said softly. I agreed with him I really didn't want to have any nasty encounters with anyone in Gotham and then be just another raped and murdered girl on the morning papers.
" Where do you live y/n?" My name sounded like something better than it really was when he said it, as if he treated every syllable with care.
" About a 45 minute walk from here," I said
" Then you'll allow me to hale you a cab?" He offered politely.
I may have been reluctant to show it but I was very happy he had made the offer. A gentle smile appeared on my face," Thank you. "
A linear smile pulled at his lips, " It's my pleasure y/n."
We walked out into the city which was damp with the residue of rain and lit by apartment lights and billboards. My sneakers plopped through puddles as Professor Crane walked next to me, his hands tucked away in his pockets with his graceful stride unfaltering. " I noticed that you didn't speak much or raise your hand during my lecture, " He questioned smoothly cutting through the silence that lay between us. He paused before asking further "why is that?".
" I'm not great at speaking in public" I admitted finding it strange how easy it was for me to speak with him. I never usually told anyone anything about myself. Opting to listen carefully instead.
" That is not a gift that many people posses," he added as light drops of water trickled down from one of the many lights in the street. It trickled down my cheek sending a small shiver through my spine.
" I found the lecture very perceptive," I said softly, finding strange courage within our conversation.
" Is that so, I have plenty more to say about the topic if you wish to know more," he offered eyes nearly coming alight with a sort of deeply hidden interest.
" I would love to," I responded brightly. It was true they way he spoke about psychology got the wheels in my mind turning like there was an endless world of things to learn.
We were now standing by the damp street waiting for a cab to drive by. The tip of my sneakers were wet as I bounced on my heal while cold air brushed against my face. I knew it wouldn't be long until a cab arrived, this was quite a busy street at night. I would never have paid attention to the night time scenery by myself but here next to professor Crane I felt safe. I observed the city without any anxious thoughts invading my mind. My eyes found breathtaking beauty in the stars that hid behind stalky skyscrapers. He couldn't possible know how much I appreciated his company. Alone, I would have been petrified, shaking in my damp shoes.
" You should join me after class tomorrow if you would like to discuss this topic further," he offered just as a yellow cab came to an abrupt halt in front of us. I thanked him agreeing to meet with him after the lecture tomorrow to discuss his views on fear.
The cab ride was cold and void of comfort yet somehow I felt warm.
Once at home, I threw my coat over my coat hanger letting out a sigh of exhaustion as I waddled over to my small kitchen in my small apartment. Dinner was usually a lonely affair, just me and my oven heated lasagna pack and the Tv providing comforting background noise.