My days are Dracula's nights. My nights are his days, so we're always missing each other but for a few hours. I stay up as late as I can most nights to spend time with him and he does the same thing to spend time with me (not that he would ever openly admit to such a thing), and in that time we are together separately.
I study at the coffee table and Dracula's... doing his own thing. I'm never entirely sure what he's doing and I won't ask him, either, because he'll just give me a dead look and his stare is quite unnerving after a few seconds.
Sometimes, I'll get a whisper at the back of my head. A very quiet look at me. The longer I go without responding, the more eerie the whisper becomes until it's almost a physical itch. When I look up, Dracula feigns surprise that I've been disturbed by seemingly nothing, but the smirk playing around the corner of his lips tells me that he knows exactly what he's doing.
"Won't you come and sit over here? It's perhaps warmer by the fire than it is over in your dusty corner."
My corner is neither cold nor dusty, we're both aware of this, but I learned several months ago to hear Dracula but to listen to what he doesn't say. I consider calling him out for being soft but I decide against it; whatever his mood is, I don't want to ruin it.
Once I sit by him and carry on working, his cold fingers close over my shoulders and he tells me of his true intentions. "I just want to be close to you." I never get used to hearing him say it but he gives me a small genuine smile to reassure me and then we go back to our own activities as if no exchange occurred.
It's an odd relationship and a stranger dynamic, but we make it work.
I'm sorry what? Joker hasnt been proud of you for a long time???? Sorry friend, imma have to call bs on that. LOOK AT YOU! LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS! How in the world could he not be proud of you? You keep going every single day. And it gets hard sometimes, but you still push through it. Step step step. You take his words to heart, and you keep going. There is no way in hell that he isnt proud of you. Nor Liz, or Ash, or Mary, Edward and Henry. Everyone is proud of you, fawn. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Ohhhhhh 🥺🥺🥺 Anaya 😭😭😭😭
💖💖💖💖💖💖
Thank you, my love. Thank you, thank you, thank you asdfghjkl 😭😭😭
I’ve been reading this multiple times a day ever since you sent this in almost a month ago and I can’t thank you enough for being so sweet and kind with this message asdfghj 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I really haven’t been feeling like any of my F/Os are proud of me recently and I haven’t been feeling like I’m my best self, either, but I’m trying because that’s all I can do 🥺🥺🥺
THANK YOU DARLING OMG YOUR SUPPORT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME ~ 💜💙💗🌸 I’m so proud of you and thank you for being proud of me too asdfghj 🥺😭💚 It really does get hard sometimes, at least once a week I entertain the thought of dropping out because of it (disclaimer: I never would, I just can’t help but have those thoughts sometimes) but I’m doing what I can every day just like Joker taught me -
step step step.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA 🥺🥺😭😭 OMG angel you mentioned most of my F/Os asdfghjk goddd ~ seeing them all listed like that makes me realise how many I have😂 Thank you, my love! Your words are endlessly kind and they mean so much to me, as do you asdfghj I miss you darling😭💖
I hope that you’re safe and well! Please know I love you so much and I’m so proud of you!!! ~ 💗💗💗 IDK how you are with Pat right now, but he’s so proud of you and he loves you so much!!! ~ 🥰🥰🥰🤗
I’m sending you the world asdfghj you deserve it!!💝💝💝😊
I put my fawn nightlight on and flick through until I find the butter yellow setting, one of my favourites. I turn the main light off and get into bed. “No, that’s - too dark.” Some nights, I need more light. Some nights, I need less. It changes every night but the lamp has a setting for everything. I get out of bed, the mattress squeaking with every slight movement. I needed a new one years ago but I can’t afford it. I grab the nightlight, I turn it off, plunging myself into darkness. I forgot to turn the overhead light on before shutting off the lamp. My breathing goes funny but I fight to remain calm and I put the nightlight on again; it’s a softer white light which closely resembles candlelight, and I smile. “That’s more like it. Dark enough to sleep, light enough to see.”
That phrase is how I explain my need for light to those who may not know that I must have light to sleep. In the shadows which stretch just beyond the light - and far enough away from me that I’m not worried about them - a figure comes out of the dark like he’s made of it.
“You’re getting braver.” Dracula remarks, his eyebrows raised. There’s feigned surprise in his voice, but I know him. I see the pride in his eyes. It makes me feel warm, though also a cold shiver runs down my spine because he could snap me like a twig and we both know it. But as it is, I pull back the covers and Dracula climbs into bed beside me to remain at my side until he’s sure I’m asleep.
Neither of us hesitated; those days are over. We’re fully comfortable in who we are and what we have together, though it’s a very odd dynamic and neither of us can figure it out fully. But it’s a part of the mystery, we figure, so why not enjoy it?
Y E S, I’m back on my bullshit (like I ever stopped😂) and this is me feeling my way with Dracula and seeing what he and I have together; as well as sharing some moments we’ve already had with each other in the time we’ve known each other.
Full disclosure: I am well aware that he would snap my neck and drink me like a capri sun in reality without a second thought. I know that we are 100% incompatible but I really don’t care. Believing that Drac would be, at least, fond of me makes me go 🥺😭🥺😭💖✨💖✨🥰💖✨ so that’s all that matters skskskskks. I’m so sorry if anyone’s sick of this, I really do understand, but I like to have all my self-shipping stuff on the same blog, which is why I’m posting it here and not on my side blog (on which requests for him are open👀).
Word count: 2, 421.
OMG MY UWUS ARE DROPPED I’M SOFT I’M CRY I’M LOVE 🥺😭🥺😭💜💜💜 LOOK AT HIMMMMM ~ 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I legitimately can’t stop staring I’m captivated someone help but also leave me here... I’m suffering but I’m enjoying it... 🥺
As yet, Dracula and I haven’t spent too much time together. We’re still very much wondering what’s going on and why it’s going on and how everything is going to work. All we’re really aware of at this stage is that, for some reason, we’re drawn to each other. We’ve mostly just been... watching each other and getting to know one another through observation and gut instinct rather than... sitting down and talking. I think this is how it will be for the most part with us, though. We’re an odd dynamic but the both of us are quickly growing to like it.
He and I don’t spend much... time together, at least not yet as I’ve already said, but we spend a lot of time in the same room. I’ll do my thing and he will do his thing and occasionally one of us will glance over at the other. Quizzical looks are exchanged and Drac may ask if I’m all right, but other than that, we don’t talk, either. We’ve been silent company to one another for much of this time. I think that may be the main part of our dynamic - comfortable silence. I don’t really know what to say to a five hundred year old vampire because I don’t want to make my stupidity as a person with a lack of life experience obvious and Drac prefers to not talk at all when he’s busy doing something. He very clearly expresses his irritation at this through his body language and I’m not so good at handling when people are annoyed at me so I’d just rather not speak unless I have to.
When I go to bed, I always ask Drac to join me. He could come into my bed without an invitation, but as he puts it, “consent is unnecessary but delicious” so he waits for me to ask him. It never takes me long and tbh I’m not fully comfortable going to bed, especially with my night time phobias, without him there in the room with me anyway. As soon as I’m lying down and comfortable, Drac’s standing at the foot of my bed. He’ll crawl up my mattress (my bed’s against the wall so when I’m already in bed he has no other way of coming in unless he wants to climb over me and that’s too graceless for him) and I’ll pull the covers back for him. He slides in so quickly that my very squeaky mattress (it’s in desperate need of being replacing but I can’t afford it) doesn’t make any kind of noise. “Oh, bedtime for the human, is it?" My only answer is to turn and nestle my face into his chest. He wraps his arms around me and sleep finds me quickly. If I try to look around the room, he’ll hold my head where it is with a hand and he won’t let me look. He reasons the more I look, the more scared I’ll become, so he’d rather prevent me from looking at all. He’s the most dangerous creature in any room, anyway.
During the day, Drac sleeps so, of course, I’m left alone. He lays down with me when I go to bed and he leaves when I’m finally asleep (700 position changes and a deal with Satan later😂), but when I get up, he’s beside me and now I’m the one leaving when he’s finally asleep. I sleep when I’m tired and I don’t have much of a sleeping schedule so it’s not unusual for me to be up until four or sometimes five in the morning, and a bonus to this is that I get to spend more time with him. The nights are just for us; when the world slips away, he and I find each other.
When I’m away from Drac and I’m missing him or just needing his energy around me, I wear this jumper. It’s a small inside joke between us.
Drac’s reaction to my jumper was:
He appreciates the way it’s spelt (and so do I) and he’s been eager to get me out of it.👀
Drac is 6′4 and I’m 5′7 so the height difference is... amusing. At least to him. He calls me his “little bat” when I’m going to sleep or when I’m being cuddly (a luxury he doesn’t allow often; it’s usually saved for when I’m in some kind of distress), and when he’s feeling romantic or apologetic, he calls me “luna bella”.
He and I go on nightly walks down the beach together. I love to walk along the three metre high wall so I can properly feel the wind in my hair and some semblance of freedom, and if I lose my balance, he’ll just chuckle and tell me to be careful. Not in as many words but he’ll make a quip about the fragility of mortals and it sends the message through. If I do fall, he’ll catch me before I do. All of me is safe with Count Dracula. He likes to say he won’t catch me but I pretended to slip properly once just to see what he would do and he reacted very quickly so I think it’s safe to say he’s full of shit.😂
I got very attached to him, very quickly once I got over my fear. Even when I’m with him, I miss him, and Drac can always pick up on it. He finds it hilarious and doesn’t understand why I miss him despite our closeness a lot of the time, but there’s no way to explain it. Even so, I know he misses me too, because he’s with me more often than we’re away from each other. Drac has an odd love language but I’m slowly coming to learn him.
The night I realised I wasn’t scared anymore and I wanted him with me, I called him to me. All I had to do was say his name, and he was there. He was obviously in the area and he must have heard me from close by. I was in bed, ready to sleep, and he waited for me to speak. His eyebrows were raised and there was a slight smirk on his face.
“Can you...can you stay with me? I’m not scared of you anymore but I also... don’t really know what to do.”
“You don’t know what to do, so you called me? Are you really not afraid of me?” His smirk kept widening, as did that look in his eye.
I hesitated but I still said, “not anymore.” and I pulled the duvet back on the side which would become his. “Join me?”
“This is a surprise. I did not see this coming.” He could smell my weariness but we didn’t speak much after that point. He laid down beside me and I slowly, carefully moved to cuddle him. And by that I mean I smushed myself into his side and he let me, but he didn’t reciprocate.😅😂
Drac tried to move away just at the point I was on the edge of sleep and I clung to him; I wouldn’t let him leave me. I had to show I trusted him, the way he wanted me to, and I guess falling asleep beside him was the best way to do so.
I kept moving around and it irritated him so eventually he tugged me to lay on top of him... he wrapped his arms around me and held me to him. His cold embrace is the safest cage I’ve ever been in. I woke and he wasn’t there but I could feel his energy around me. He won’t ever leave.
I don’t think he could ever love me, not in the way I love him, but I know he’s very fond of me and that’s enough. The fact that he is with me as often as he is, is proof enough that he, at least, has a soft spot for me.
I show him every day that I love him because I don’t really know how to say it to him. He’s five hundred years old so the usual methods of confession seem a bit... pointless. He needs more than words. I do this in subtle ways... for example, having my hair slung over my shoulder and I’ll lay down on it so my neck is bared. I fall asleep on him. I ask him to be with me while I sleep. He has free-for-all consent to drink from me but as yet, he hasn’t. I suspect it’s because he dislikes coffee...🤔😂
Usually, I lay atop Drac when we cuddle, but there’s been a few times he lays on me. Sometimes I’ll wake in the night and he’s looming over me. My lamp looks like a golden halo around the top of his head, and in my sleepy state I loop my arms around his neck and tug him down. He could so easily break out of my hold but he doesn’t. He lets me tug him down and I snuggle into him and press kisses all over his neck, leaving mock bites. He appreciates the irony.
Dracula calls “darling” or “my love”. He never uses my name; it’s always a term of endearment. I’m not sure why. If he’s telling me to do something, then it’s “dear”; comfort is “darling”, and the other names are as I’ve said.
I only call him “Drac”... “Dracula” if he’s annoying me. “My love” is a general term of endearment; we share a like for that one. Sometimes... and mostly at night (our real time together), I call him “my Drac”. It makes him smile... I don’t get much of a reaction, just a twitch of his lips, but I adore it.
When I’m upset, Drac doesn’t hold me. He doesn’t shush me or try to comfort me. He just... stays. With every passing moment, he takes a step closer until he’s standing right beside me and then he allows me to take whatever comfort I need. He’s not entirely sure how to comfort me, we’re still learning each other, but he follows my lead. As long as he’s in the room, as long as he’s close by, I can usually pull myself together on my own; I’m used to doing that so it saves him the effort. If I talk, he listens. If I don’t talk, he speaks. Whatever I need, he’ll do. He can read me well. I’m still learning him; there’s multiple options to everything he does and says and I love that about him.
With me being afraid of the dark and Drac being afraid of the light, I’d say we’re perfect for each other.😂
And speaking of...
Both of us know and live with fear far more than we should. We have our reasons (which are illogical), and the fear we see in one another is partly why we’re so drawn to each other. I recognise the fear in him (it’s the opposite of my own fear) and he recognises mine. We understand each other on this level and we do what we can to keep each other safe.
I definitely have a Protecc™ streak for Drac; my blackout curtains are perfect for keeping him safe, and though Drac hates my night light, which makes it daylight in my room, he never wants a repeat of that one night last week so he accepts it. He knows I’m scared sometimes even with the light, so he holds me tight and he won’t let me go.
Both of us are exposed to our fears every day and both of us face them anyway. We’re brave on our own but together it feels like we only increase that strength.
He’s so cute🥺.
He picks up on how the modern world works through consuming the blood of others’ (which I wilfully turn a blind eye to lmao I’m not about to tell him who he can and can’t eat; my morality has always been grey), but I help him with it too. Sometimes I can’t explain stuff to him so I’ll just show him what I’m talking about. He’s a quick learner. We watch Netflix every night together and sometimes he’ll take Poe or Wilde off my bookshelf and read me to sleep. I love his voice so much.
I love him. He’s safety from my fear in the dark. When I go to bed at night, I always consider sleeping in the dark but he sits on my bed and watches me. “That’s it, turn the light off. You’ll only turn it back on again. That’s what you do, that’s what you always do. What’s the point, darling? Just come lay down a while.”
Dracula is safety and comfort. He’s a smile and laughter because he’s very sassy. There’s something... about him which makes me mentally sleepy. I don’t know how to explain it but he just... makes me want to relax. I do relax when I’m with him and I think that’s why I spend time with him as often as I do, and why I’ve re-watched his series about eleven times in two weeks (to date).
He used to scare me (and he’s been warned that if he ever jumps out at me like he’s known to do to others, he will bring that back temporarily. He’s also been warned not to raise his voice at me, for the same reasons) but now he just makes me feel safe and relaxed and comfortable.
One day, Drac will step into the light and I will step into the dark. And in the space between us where the shadow lies, our hands will join, our fingers will interlock... and we’ll walk forth into what’s next together.
He came into my life at a time when my fear was and is at an all time high, and I think he’s here with me to help me to learn to deal with it. Maybe along the way, I can do the same for him. No one deserves to live in fear and isolation for 500 years, no matter what their dietary requirements are.
I love all of Dracula. I can say that with complete confidence now; I cried out of love for him earlier today and when I sleep tonight, I’ll tell him. Whether he loves me, I have no idea, but I think... I may be someone who’s gotten closer to him than anyone else has for a very long time.
HELLO MY BELOVED!!!!!! Here is your daily reminder that you are smart and wise and kind and that despite how much stress you're under, you are so loved by so many and every last one of us is proud of you- not just your f/o's but me and everyone else who has the absolute GIFT of knowing you. Go crush the fuck out of this academic stuff Queen- we know you can do it!!!
I’m feeling so much stress that I smiled at Joker, teared up at Liz and by the time I got to Jareth I was and I am sobbing omg GEN 😭😭😭😭😭
Darling I love you so fucking much omg you never fail to support me, love me and motivate me and I love you so fucking much ugh you’re always here for me and i can’t thank you enough for being so asdfghjk these GIFS are all so perfect and you’ve tipped me over the emotional edge lmfao but thank you, honey - I was getting worried about the fact that I hadn’t cried yet asdfghj that’s really unusual for me, to not cry.
God, honey, you’re everything.💗💗💗💗💗 Thank you thank you thank you for taking the time to compile these GIFs (their smiles are my serotonin😍😍😍 and god Jareth asdfghjkl 😭😭😭😭😭) and to send me such a lovely message omg I’m gonna have to do something for you!!!🥺💜💜💜💜Thank you darling ugh it’s hard but I’m really trying, I promise I am. For you, for everyone on here, for my F/Os...🥰💖💖💖💖
Thank you, Gen, I just.... I love you. So much. I’m still crying lmfao I can has hugs?🥺😭
To be very clear from the start, I'm not saying this to be down on myself.
Instead, it's realistic to say that I am genuinely incompatible with all of my F/Os, except maybe Joker. Dracula and Hannibal are the two I'm most incompatible with and I know that.
But does that stop me from loving any of my F/Os, making headcanons for us and believing that they'd love me too? Hell, no. It gets me through the day. It gives me something to think about. It makes me feel like I can do and be anything.
Life's easier when you're on your own side. Ease things for yourself as best as you can. You deserve it and you're worth it.
YOU AND DRACULA ARE SO FUCKING PERFECT I LOVE IT YOU'RE HIS LITTLE BAT AND HE'S SO PROTECTIVE OVER YOU????? I REALLY LOVE YOU TWO I SHOP YOU TWO SO FING H A R D🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇💖💖💖💖💖💖
Angelina 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you jumped on the Dracika ship so fast, I’m???😭😭😭 all these asks asdfghjkl I’m soft I’m cry🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 I’ve put them all together for safekeeps!!!💜💜💜
THANK YOU OMG???? I’M NOT ENTIRELY SURE A 500 YEAR OLD WARLORD AND A 23 YEAR OLD MORTAL WILL WORK WELL IN THE LONG RUN BUT I’M???? I can’t deny that I cannot stop thinking about him... he’s haunting me and I love it. 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖 he’s so attractive and sassy and his voice asdfghjk🥺 I’d listen to him read the phonebook and I’d enjoy every second of it, too.
"Hello little bat, how are you this evening? Would you like to go on an adventure?" ❤🦇
“Hey, Drac. I’m well, thank you - how are you? I’d love to go on an adventure with you! I trust you.”
DRACULA DANCING WITH YOU IN THE MOONLIGHT??? UM?????
OMG OMG OMG fun fact; blood looks black in the moonlight and I’m??? Drac with his dark hair and eyes and blood around his mouth? I’m???🥵🥵🥵
YOU TWO WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER OMG???? I SHIP IT SO FING HARDDDDDDDDDDDD🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Angelina 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺 thank you, darling, I’m? He’s my newest F/O and I love him so much already, I’m?????
Would you let him turn you?
I’d offer up my blood to him willingly. I’d follow him anywhere. I’d do anything he said. I trust him. I know he wouldn’t harm me - if he was going to, he would have done it already. And, one you’ll appreciate - I’d sit in the total darkness if he asked me to.
"Hello little fawn. My perfect prey....fancy a midnight stroll?"
"Drac ~!!! “Perfect prey”... is it really prey if they go willingly? Consent is important to you, it improves one’s flavour, so sure - I’ll go anywhere with you!
DRACULA RECITING POETRY TO YOU???????
Make it Edgar Allan Poe and we got a deal!!!! The Masque of Red Death is my favourite!
"Hello, fawn. I'm in the mood for a little....midnight snack.."
“Is that so? We can’t have you going hungry.” *Tilts head to the side* “Just don’t get it in my hair, okay? Blood’s a pain to get out of anything.”
Imagine: Dracula sitting in a moonlit rose garden, reading you poetry whilst you sit in his lap. He's got one hand around your waist, his hand on your knee. The other, holding a book of Edgar Allan Poe. He's reading to you and he's resting his head on your shoulder, occasionally smelling your hair or kissing your neck....he's smiling the whole time. His low voice rumbling in his chest.
Ohhhhhh my god. OMG. OMG. Oh. My. God. I love this omg I want it so baaaaaad ~ 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 *grabby hands*
I’ve been called many things in my life but this is a first ksksksk it made me shiver warmly😊😊😊😊😊 thank you for all of these, my love, they really gave me something to smile about. I love youuuu ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰💛💛💛
