...Technically, EVERYONE is speaking... ABOUT US.
LOL City Goers, looks like the G-men do not like our little party we are throwing for ourselves! Seems we have been branded “Wanted Terrorists”! OOOOPS~
Hey hey, think this will make us more famous lol? Oh well. I always hated government anyway. Check out this sweet doc I snagged off one of their computers when they tried to take us down. Doooo not worry. I have the heart to put all this stupid stuff under a read more.
!DSEM NOTICE! “New terrorist activity has become apparent within Sunsong City. The Conspiracy City Bloggers are now to be considered Terrorists. If they are spotted in public they are to be killed on sight.
This list is comprehensive only of the skills that the Conspiracy City Terrorists have been seen or claimed using within in the last few years. It is entirely possible that the members of this terrorist organization are capable of more than has been stated in the following list.”
That is just the intro, though. They tried to guess all of our powers which is mega lame because they have it all kinds of hella wrroooooong! It is okay, though. We will give you guys the DL on what we can really do!
Admin Dr@cula “Admin Dracula is a vampire thought to be somewhere in his thousands. On the blog he is stated to have the appearance of a teenage boy, though this has not been confirmed. His ethnicity is unknown.”
Lololol I can not believe this stuff. They do not believe I am a teenaged boy? Wowzers who would have thought that they do not even believe what they read rofl! But they even start to talk more shit. Check this stuff out, City Goers. You will love it.
“Hacking: Dracula is capable of quickly and easily hacking even the most modern of computers. While it hasn’t been tested, Dracula has claimed he can hack any government system with ease and could quite possible start world wars. Any and all attempts by government officials to take down the Conspiracy City Blog have been complete failures. Each attempt has resulted in government computers being “hacked back” with an image of a mascot like lion laughing. This is thought to be Dracula’s doing.”
“Technomancy: Dracula has claimed in the past to be capable of controlling and manipulating technology through strangely magical means. This allows him to build machines, complex computers, and even robots with what seems to be some form of telekinesis. This has not been observed.”
“!! NOTICE: Techonology should not be used around Dracula in any situation.”
Lol this is all pretty accurate. Looks like they managed to find some archive stuff of ours. Tech around me is like a death sentence. They tried really hard tbh I almost feel bad. But they seem to like the little KeY$m@sh viruses I send them so really, I cannot complain. It is always nice to have people admiring your work!
“Blood Empowerment: Dracula has stated multiple times on the Conspiracy City Blog that he is an exceptionally old vampire. When feeding, Dracula claims to have an increased power level, often stated to reach “Over Nine Thousand”. Currently this is under investigation. This has never been observed.”
OMG I can NOT believe they actually quoted one of my stupid memes in here. I feel so fulfilled. DL on my “Blood Empowerment”, though. When I have just eaten my mind is all kinds of hella sharp, so I can use all of my abilities to the best extent. It would be lame if eating did not make me stronger though, you know??
“Enhanced Condition: As a vampire, it is assumed that Dracula has some form of enhanced condition including but not limited to: enhanced strength, speed, agility, durability, and balance. Dracula himself has claimed to be able to easily lift cars and has also claimed to have been unscathed hit by speeding ones. None of this is confirmed.”
#confirmed! I just say I am super strong and stuff, though. I can actually easily lift semi trucks and break buildings though, so this is pretty inaccurate. Lame stuff. Oh, and when I got hit by a speeding car it left a huge indent in the front and I was still standing k thx.
“Enhanced Senses: Dracula has claimed on the Conspiracy City blog to have multiple enhanced senses. This includes but is not limited to: enhanced sight, smell, and reflexes. He has claimed the ability to see perfectly in pitch black conditions, smell the differences in his fellow bloggers, and even dodge bullets. None of this has been confirmed.”
Please, G-men... This is just sad to read. I can dodge bullets AND grab them with my bare hands! You totally missed half of that post. So lame. All you politicians are out shaking in your boots so bad you forget how to read? Heheheh~
“Instinctive Combat: Dracula has stated to have the ability to fight completely on instinct. He says this is the reason he is able to easily fight more experienced fighters than himself without much effort, and, as such, is to be considered both a physical and technological threat.”
This is a little weirdly described, but okay. I will take it. lol though, they forgot mental threat. Rude. How old do they think I am?
“Mind Control: Dracula has claimed multiple times to be fully capable of mind controlling humans (and possibly some supernaturals) when he needs to feed. This is the only time he has mentioned using the ability, but it is to be considered a threat that he might be able to use in any given situation.”
TBH I can use it any time I want, I just do not. It seems rude, you know? I can usually con people into stuff without it anyway. But yeah, btws, I can use mind control any time. My limit is like ten people at once.
“Shapeshifting: Dracula has claimed the ability to shapeshift into a bat like vampires of old lore. This has never been confirmed.”
I can also shapeshift into a wolf, hyena, and Komodo dragon, thx.
“Healing Factor: It is assumed that, like other vampires, Dracula is equipped with some sort of healing factor. The strength of this is completely unknown, as Dracula has never mentioned it himself.”
Actually, my healing factor is pretty rad. I can heal basically anything in about two hours. You know, except like... sun burns, lol. But if I actually do get hurt, which is rare, it goes away in like a few hours. Pretty sweet deal for me. Oh, and if I drink blood? Yeah, it goes away instantly.
Anyway, that is all the lame stuff the listed for me, but they missed WAAAAY too much. So I thought, why not have a little sharing time with our fans, huh? So, here you go! A few more Dr@cula specials.
Fear Inducement: I have got a pretty cool ability to terrify anyone I want to. It mostly comes with eye contact, so if I look into a person’s eyes I can make them want to cry and run away. The fear is, specifically, directed at me, from what I can tell.
Fear Empowerment: So after I do that thing where I make people horrified of me, I can usually feel myself getting all hyped up on it. It feels really nice, actually. From what I can tell, anytime someone is scared of me I sort of start to get stronger because of it. So this whole situation where the G-men are quaking in their undies over me? Yeah, feels real nice.
Enhanced Intelligence: I have been alive for thousands of years, so not shockingly, I am as smart as they come. I will not go into detail here, but let us just say I would not try outsmarting me, kk DSEMmie?
That is about it though. I just thought I would share this all with you City Goers, because you might get a kick out of it! On top of that, we have been getting questions about ourselves, so I will try to convince the others to comment on what I dug up on them too. Thanks everybody! Stay safe out there, okay? Media has a tendency to play really nasty.
--- Dr@cula