XO (a drafted email)
05/06/2016 Dear Annalise, It has been months since I have last heard your voice I miss you, by the way. You probably don't care, I heard you moved away the other day and your dreams are coming true things are going good for you I guess. I'm writing this since I can't call you anymore. I'm learning how to play your favorite song on guitar, it makes it seem like your right beside me. Things could be easier if I were just to call, but I can't. Maybe you were right about everything? I don't know myself these days. Maybe she is toxic, maybe he is a liar, maybe I am naive- The story is falling apart at the seems, but I don't care anymore, all I care about is you. You are my best friend, I think I was in love with you- I've never hurt this bad. Not even when I spilled my guts to you in my basement and we both cried. Not when I had that panic attack and passed out, not even on that January 16th last year. You know all my secrets, you know everything about me- you should know that I miss you. The only reason I don't call is because he won't let me, it could quite literally kill her and also I could be sent to live on the streets. They need me, believe it or not- do you need me? I feel like I'm having a consistant athsma attack and your the inhailer I need. For oral inhalation only. You know your face reminded me of the beach at night, your freckles were the sand, your skin was plae like the moon and your eyes were the ocean. I could be stranded at sea and never crave another human interaction again. I know he said bad things when he was drunk and would run out and lose himself downtown and disapear at late hours of the night- but he didn't do it- he couldn't have. She maybe rotten to the core, but she couldn't have done what you claim she has. Mother's day is soon, my mom misses you, she always thought of you like her own. You were part of me, you still are. I hope your happy and your new home is nice- wherever it is. Look into the mirror and know you are beautiful like the night sky reflecting off the ocean. I'm going to be seventeen soon, hopefully we can see eachother before I'm eighteen. Miss you.
XO, Clarissa










