"I accept that there will be those who I cannot save."
When I first read those words on a wiki page for the Stormlight Archives, I assumed they would pertain to learning that it's okay to kill your enemies. That Kaladin would be taught a lesson on how some people will choose to place themselves outside of your ability to protect them, and that that is not your fault. People like Moash, who continue to make themselves a threat to the other people he had sworn to protect.
And I was fine with that understanding, at least at first. It's a natural counterpoint to Lirin's perspective that "you cannot save lives by taking lives." I was interested to see how Sanderson explored it, as this is a concept that I have struggled to accept for myself. I even thought it could be an interesting foil to the Third Ideal: "I will protect those I hate, so long as it is right." But then I read Oathbringer. I saw the Battle of Kholinar, where Kaladin is broken by the realization that the people on either side are just that: people. Here there are two different groups who he feels honor-bound to protect, and they're killing each other.
It is no wonder that these events broke him, driving him to where he is by the start of Rhythm of War. When Kaladin failed to swear the Fourth Ideal in Shadesmar, during the Battle of Thaylen Field, I was excited to see how he would grapple with that reality. Sanderson did not disappoint, tho he delivered in a way that I did not expect.
Kaladin, under orders, steps back from the front lines. He puts down the spear. He returns to his training as a surgeon. He invents the concept of group therapy to help others who were suffering from battle shock, like him. He learns that there is more than one way to protect people. And he seems to be making progress, if slowly, to recovering from his failures in Oathbringer.
This all comes crashing down when Raboniel and her forces invade Urithiru. Kaladin is left feeling powerless. He has to hide to survive. He repeatedly fails to protect the Sibling against the assaults of the Fused. All he can manage is to keep Teft from being taken captive, nursing him through his coma. Now, more than ever, he feels that he is a failure at doing the one thing he has sworn to do: protect those who cannot protect themselves.
Then Wit comes along, with the story of the Dog who Wished to Become a Dragon. He shows Kaladin that, even if your goal is fundamentally unachievable, good results can still come from your efforts. That it is the Journey that matters, even if you never reach your Destination.
Kaladin is bolstered. He marches out to face the Fused one final time: a last stand. Do or die. And he is winning. In spite of it all, he finds that he can still protect others. But its a lie. He knows its a lie. In his own thoughts, he is pretending to be Kaladin Stormblessed, one last time.
When Vyre arrives and slaughters Teft, what little scaffolding Kaladin had left is kicked out from under him. Teft, the one person he felt he could genuinely help during the occupation, lying on the ground with his eyes burned out.
This is why I believe the way in which Kaladin achieves the Fourth Ideal is so much more impactful than I ever imagined it would be. Because it's not some simple lesson about how "you need to learn that its okay to kill/not save people if they aren't on your side." It's not a question of morality or honor at all, really.
It's an exercise in futility.
What has broken Kaladin is the fact that, no matter how hard he tries to protect people, they always end up dying. He feels that his efforts were wasted. Yet he forgets the countless moments allowed to those he saved, even if he only delayed their death. He forgets Dabbid, who would have bled out on the Shattered Plains were it not for Kaladin's intervention. He forgets the battle-shock patients who saw the sun again because of his efforts.
In the end, it's not about whether we die or not, because that is the inevitable end to every life. But Life comes before Death. Death may be the ultimate Destination, but every step towards it makes up the wonderful Journey of Life.
And so Kaladin is reminded: there will be those who you cannot save. There will be those who you cannot keep alive, no matter what you do. So instead of mourning their deaths as a failure, he learns to celebrate the times they had together. It's all about cherishing the moments that we have, and not allowing the end to sour those happy memories.
As Dr. Seuss once wrote, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
Life before Death, friends. Journey before Destination.