synopsis. aventurine knows that he is unworthy of love, unworthy of you. because he, aventurine, is a tainted person and kakavasha is but a person with no future for himself. in both of his names, he is unworthy of you.
genres/aus. actually idek what type of au this would fall under saurrr idk what to say ummm friends to something more (?!), romance, pining, angst with a happy ending, smidge of fluff at the end
warnings. slight (or maybe not so slight at all?) spoilers about aventurine's background, mentions of death and murder, very sad and insecure aventurine, crying, slight displays of affection (a neck kiss?!), ooc aventurine ?! (bc im still doing the penacony quest HAHSHAJ)
wc. 1.6k
a/n. me when i only write about aventurine because aventurine is love, aventurine is life. also, i just have some serious brainrot for that man he deserves everything and more i love him sm !!!! also. aventurine this wednesday im SOOOO excited i need him NOW. will be skipping my first class so i can do his trial LMFAO and this NAWT edited !! (when will i ever edit something?? idk. whenever i am not a busy uni kid) the aventurine art was made by @/20231102thu on x (twitter) !!
AVENTURINE IS FULLY AWARE THAT HE ISN'T SOMEONE DESERVING OF, well, anything. he’s just someone that aimlessly wanders this world, not having a set destination. he doesn’t have anything worth living for. he doesn’t have a home to return to because home means returning to a place filled with warmth and love.
he does not remember the last time he felt his heart warm up, he’s not even sure if he’s even felt warmth. it is but a distant memory filled with sadness, such sorrow that makes his heart weep without knowing it. though, nowadays, he doesn’t feel like that. there’s just an emptiness in him, but he doesn’t mind it anymore. after the events at penacony, he’s just been… lost.
he hears a door open and slide shut, followed by the sound of footsteps. then, he senses someone standing right next to him as he gazes out the windows of the astral express. you spent a long time convincing the conductor and himeko that aventurine should be a guest, and you finally wore them out with your pleading after a good amount of hours.
“penny for your thoughts?”
aventurine glances at you. your wounds from the battle are still healing, he notes, given by the bandages that wrap around your forearm and head. sunday will have to meet his fury on another day. “just thinking that this is a nice place.”
you chuckle, “it is, isn’t it?”
all he does is hum in response, still staring out in the vast expanse of space. he likes how the stars look and as his eyes linger on penacony, he wonders if his home looked similar to that. he wouldn't know because he never saw how it looked when he left and never will. his thoughts don’t linger on that much when he instead focuses on the way your fingers brush against his hand. he flinches and stares wide-eyed at how you easily grab onto his hand, a dirty piece of flesh undeserving of the warmth that radiates from your skin and seeps into his own.
“aventurine—”
“kakavasha.”
“hm?” you tilt your head to the side, blinking at him in confusion.
he wants to look away from you, from your eyes. but he wills himself to keep looking and somehow, he ends up gripping onto your hand tightly. you don't complain and instead squeeze back, patiently waiting for him to continue.
“my name is… kakavasha.” aventurine feels his stomach twist and turn at your silence so he continues to speak, “i just thought… that you should know it before it’s completely gone.”
“and why do you say that?”
“it’s a name meant to be forgotten in the sand.”
your response is so quick that it almost gives him whiplash. “no it isn't.”
“excuse me?” he blurts out, surprised that you even said such a thing about him.
“it isn't a name meant to be forgotten in the sand,” you say, a certain calmness in your voice that has aventurine waiting with bated breath at what else you have to say. “it's too pretty to be forgotten and, well, it's your name.”
and then he feels his face heat up; his ears, neck and cheeks feel like they’re burning up.
“kakavasha,” you hum, smiling, “kava, for short. it has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?”
it does have a nice ring to it, but only because you're the one saying it. aventurine merely nods, not trusting his voice at the moment. he looks away and stares outside the window, not wanting to look at you anymore because he fears this warm feeling will take over his entire being.
a nice silence blankets over the two of you, one that you break after a while.
“what’s the story behind your name right now? aventurine… why are you called that now?”
“because kakavasha had no future,” he replies, “kakavasha didn’t have a future, he didn’t deserve to live either. who i am now, aventurine, does.”
“kakavasha deserves to live too.” aventurine turns his body to look at you, blinking in surprise. “i don’t know how you got that thought in your head, but kakavasha deserves to live just as much as the person you are now.”
“but aventurine is tainted. this name has too much blood on it, too many sins on it. the person i am now doesn’t deserve to live either. kakavasha should be a name buried in the sands of time while aventurine should be burnt to a crisp for the things i’ve done.”
yes, he is tainted. his body, his everything is tainted. it is marred by an ugly color, a stain of who he was and is, never to be cleaned. aventurine lets go of your hands, worried that you might also get stained by his sins. he should drive you away now before the aching in his small heart decides to cling to you and the warmth you give him. he will tell you his story, tell you about the mark on his neck, tell you how he killed the man that bought him, tell you about how he is a tainted person. he is a tainted person unworthy of you, unworthy of that love you hold.
he may have never experienced love. after all, all of his past relationships were purely physical. no one cared about going deeper beyond his facade, they all just wanted a fun night. so while he has never experienced it, he is no fool. he can recognize that the emotion in your pretty eyes when you look at him is love. you love aventurine, the him who has betrayed and used you and your companions in one way or another on penacony. he doesn’t understand why and maybe he never will because the mere fact that you feel something towards him is so bizarre.
so he should ruin whatever it is that you love about him and tell you the truth, taint your rose-colored view on him. aventurine needs to do it now before his heart tells him not to. he knows his heart is already lovesick, so needy of that bit of love it has received from you. his heart wants to hold on tightly to you and drown in you, drown in those feelings of yours. his tiny heart wants to love you too, it wants to love you just as much as you love him. he wants your everything to consume his entire being.
but after he tells you the truth, you will leave and you will be the first and last person he’s loved. you will be the first and last person to somehow climb over the tall walls he’s built around himself and crack open the facade he’s made.
but what if… what if you stay after everything? what will happen then?
it is that small hope that he ends up clinging to.
if he is blessed gaiathra, if he is lucky, then what if… what if this is his greatest gamble of all? a gamble of love: will he lose you or will you stay?
aventurine has made up his mind despite the rational part in him telling him to not even do it, yet he does. the words flow out of his mouth easily, though his heart weighs heavy in his chest. he expects to you leave, he really does because who would want someone as ugly as him? but the tears that leaves your eyes and roll down your cheeks catches him completely off guard.
“why are you crying?” he asks, his hands reaching out to hold your arms.
your lips quiver and a hand grabs onto one of his while the other reaches out, fingers stopping before they touch his neck. aventurine leans in without thinking and a shiver goes up his spine when your fingertips gently graze the marks on his neck. you rub over the marks, “you didn’t deserve any of that, kakavasha.”
“if i could, i would take this from you and any pain you’ve felt and will feel. i would take away all of the unpleasant memories that plague your mind. for you, i would do anything.”
his knees buckle at your words and you both tumble down to the ground; he ends up being on top of you. your eyes widen when aventurine’s own tears begin to rain down, some falling onto your cheek.
“why would you say something so cruel to me?” he mutters. “don’t give me false hope. you should leave now before you do it in the future.”
“why should i leave the man that i love?” you purse your lips, your eyebrows furrowing.
aventurine shoves his head into the crook of your neck. “i am undeserving of you. i’m lesser than everyone in all of these galaxies.”
“you are not lesser than everyone,” you grumble, raking your hand through his blond hair. “everyone is the same because at the end of the day, we all want to love and to be loved.”
“i’m afraid i won’t be able to leave you now.” he hears you laugh softly, saying how his eyelashes are tickling you. he decides to get impossibly closer to you and bat his eyelashes more, smiling at the sound of your laughter growing in volume. “you’re stuck with me, so don’t say i didn’t warn you.”
aventurine’s breath gets stuck in his throat. he feels your lips brush against his neck. “i think the one who should be saying that is me… say, promise me you won’t leave?”
“shouldn’t i be saying that?”
“kava, promise me.”
“i promise. will you promise the same thing too?”
“yes, i promise that i won’t leave you.”
kakavasha, a name forgotten in the sand, was dug up and remembered, held in the hands of someone that treats like the most precious thing. kakavasha, who had forgotten how it felt to love and be loved, remembered the feeling because of a single person.
and kakavasha, blessed by gaiathra, won his greatest gamble of all time. he won you and your love, something he will now protect and hold onto tightly.
we are an hourglass glued to the surface.
not smooth, permanent.
i know now that we will never speak again.
filled with the sand and ocean that separates us,
i know how i feel -- which is to say,
how i've never felt it.
but that was the last time, wasn't it?
i exhaust you, and you, me.
am i where i'm supposed to be?
to suffer under the covers of other men,
the longing of you--less expectation, more dread?
I’m writing this little FinnPoe Modern Airman!Poe Fake Dating AU headcannon for @oscraisaac because she is amazing and made me icons <3
-Fifteen years in and Poe was still going to these military balls stag, getting teased relentlessly by friends every year, when he continuously failed to bring a date.
-Don’t have one, or can’t find one to deal with you? Rose would snicker at him.
-He was fine with it, he honestly was. He cared more about the job than finding a date, had always loved the sky more than he had loved anyone. Well, at least in that sense, he thought to himself.
-He didn’t regret a single choice he had made, even if it had kept him single. He never felt alone. It was a family he had never had in the service, his CO was more a mother to him than he had ever had, his fellow airmen all more siblings than coworkers.
-He had traveled and seen more of the world than he ever thought he would. He had lived a lot longer than he every thought he would as well. In all his years, he had met the best people, only few he still spoke to on a regular basis.
-Being stationed in Texas he met his best friend out of the service, Finn. Quiet, kept to himself, but there was a strength in him that Poe spotted the moment he walked into the Starbucks off base.
-He hated getting fast food on base. He needed to clear his head even with his feet on the ground. Poe would drive off base, find a coffee shop, sit down and read. but that day was different.
-He ended up stopping Finn on his way out, asking if they might walk the park near by. And they did, both so engrossed in conversation that they hadn’t noticed that the sun had set.
-And they only became better friends, Finn being the only person Poe would ask by name to be at promotional ceremonies, the only one that saw him devastated about deployments, the only person he would write to on those tours.
-Writing you’re lover again, Romeo? Rose would tease him.
-He had no retort, he would just smile, and not think about it. He recalled those memories now, as they set up comms to fly, Rose checking over the last bits of the aircraft before he was cleared for an exercise.
-You won’t be laughing when you see him Rose, my date is as dashing as a prince. He joked over the comms, realizing now, there was no going back, he would have to ask tonight.
-Oh? Does this prince have a name?
-You can find out when you meet him.
-You don’t have to go through with this Finn, you do know that, right? You can tell me to fuck off, I know it’s asking a lo--
-Finn cut Poe off, placing both hands on Poe’s shoulders steadying him. I said yes two months ago, and I’m not in the habit of turning my back on you. If you need a dashing date you have one my friend.
-Poe steadied his breath and looked deeply into Finn’s eyes. For not the first time, he noticed just how much they almost looked blazing with all the strength Finn held inside himself. He shook the thought off, before grabbing his jacket.
-Poe heard his table long before he saw them. General Organa was telling stories again, and Rey was almost falling out of her chair. Rose was the first one to spot them, waving excitedly as they Poe directed Finn over.
-Poe walked a few paces ahead to pull a chair out, letting Finn sit down first. As he pushed the chair in, Poe leaned in close to Finn, whispering that he would only have to say the word and they would leave.
-Finn passed him a smile, and took his hand. Poe looked down at their hands, a tightness building in his chest, not for the first time that night. He sat down, as everyone started introducing themselves.
-It didn’t take long for Rose to bring up his ‘love life’. So when did you start dating? She asked loudly and with a smile. Poe felt his soul ascending out of his body. He moved to speak but Finn cut him off, leaning over to her before confidently replying.
-Oh I’ve loved this man for a long time. Wasn’t until recently that we both noticed it however. He spoke with conviction, putting his arm around Poe, pulling him in. Poe was in a state of shock and he was hoping no one noticed. The tightness got more noticable, and he focused on that before reminding himself that this is what friends do when they’re asked of favors. He was going to have to buy Finn a drink for this, this was the best acting he had seen in years.
-Poe caught on quickly, taking Finn’s hand and putting it up to his lips. The tightness started to flutter away. He leaned into the moment, taking it for what it was. They would laugh about it later at home over a beer.
-The rest of the night went by in moments like molasses. For moments, time slowed and he felt like he was flying, his vision would tunnel in on Finn, who was far too good at this, and he realized he wouldn’t do anything differently.
-The thought scared him, but calmed him. He locked his fingers in with Finn’s under the table, giving it a tight squeeze. Finn looked over at Poe, giving him a warm smile, and Poe couldn’t help but give one back.
a blessed bond, healed by the hands of the breaker
pairing. rafayel x fem! reader
synopsis. at one point, the love you harbored towards rafayel, so pure and beautiful, became tainted by the ink of hatred... that is what you like to believe
genres/aus. angst with a happy ending, reincarnation au (?)
warnings. crying, mentions of death
rating. sfw/pg-13 (bc of the death part?!)
wc. 2.7 k
part 1 here, series masterlist here
a/n. ending could have been better but WHATEVAAA i will be turning this into a series saur 😈 stay tuned 😈
THIS, AND THE FIRST PART, ARE STAND ALONES ! THE SERIES IS (SLIGHTLY/VERY) DIFFERENT FROM THIS !
THERE IS A STARK CONTRAST BETWEEN YOU AND HER; it’s as clear as day and night. you, as the priestess in your first life, were someone of, somewhat, high power. you had to maintain a calm persona in front of everyone, never showing weakness nor fear. lemurians looked up to you, and you did not want to fail them. you are a lemurian, you serve their god and them. for them and your god, you would do anything. so you were always calm and benevolent, never turning a blind eye to the people. and behind closed doors, in front of the god of the tides’ eyes, would you let yourself become weak enough to share your worries with him. but that was the extent of what you showed to him. your purpose is to be there for him, not the other way.
perhaps that is why rafayel was so drawn to her in your first life. she was different: expressive in her ways and words, a curious and innocent soul. she had nothing to tie her down, yet you did. your duties as priestess tied you down and you could never explore your feelings—and those that you harbored towards him. feelings of love are forbidden, but if they are for rafayel then surely it was okay? you used to think long and hard about that, finally coming to the conclusion that your love is just that of a simple priestess that admires the one she serves. you didn’t love him as a person. but why did you try to return the sea witch to her original form? you knew what would become of you if you tricked her into making a potion that would return her to her original state, the one that rafayel fell in love with. and yet, you still tried because for the god of the tides, you would do anything for him. he is needed by the lemurians, and you may be too but not as much as he is.
in your next life as a normal lemurian, you became his neighbor. it was odd, being on equal footing as him… but it was so exciting at the same time. you were given a chance to explore who you are. you didn’t have the title of priestess holding you back anymore. so when you found rafayel blowing out your family’s sea lantern, you took the blame and waited for him to find you. and in the dead of night, he appeared at your window, looking apologetic. it was like an unspoken agreement after that, one where you were his… partner in crime, if you can even call it that. everything was perfect, things were perfect until he disappeared. you knew he went up: rafayel is a curious person whose intrigue can never be satiated. you swam up, and the sight you were met with was horrible. he was rid of all of his scales, crimson blood pouring from his chest as she held him. you cried.
it was a first. the feeling of tears, so foreign, surprised you but it didn’t match the shock you had felt when seeing rafayel die in front of your very eyes, singing his final words. was this unbearable pain something that rafayel felt when he watched you turn into sea foam? or was it akin to that pain he felt when he saw her turn into the sea witch? your heart felt heavy in your chest, aching and bleeding in pain. the man you love died.
it wasn’t your proudest moment… what happened afterwards. you wanted to end her because deep down, you knew she was the cause of everything, but you also knew that rafayel loved her. you wouldn’t harm her because it meant harming him and that was a thing that you could never do.
so you turned your back to them and sang. you sang as you faced the darkening sky, you sang as a storm hit and the waves crashed, taking you down and down. you sang until you no longer could, finally closing your eyes.
and then in your last life, you saw him again. you saw rafayel once more. it was in the desert this time, not in the waters as it had been previously. the ocean had dried up long ago and a part of you dried up along with it. you wanted to leave, to turn away from rafayel and go on your own. you didn’t want to be hurt again, you didn’t want to experience such pain tear your being apart. but rafayel, oh so loveable rafayel, melted your walls. he was still the same: guarded, speaking in ways that confused you yet you would never change that about him, still aloof once he warmed up to you. and you thought, you really thought, that this life would be different. that this life would be the one where he wouldn’t cross paths with her again. then he was kidnapped and when you found him, he didn’t want to restore the ocean.
that was the breaking point.
you were so mad. how could he betray his home? his people? maybe it was the remnants of the feelings you harbored in your life as a priestess, the love you felt for your home and the lemurians, that made you lash out at rafayel. you couldn’t wrap your head around it: the fact that rafayel still chose an ill fate over a promising and flourishing future. he sacrificed the lemurians that believed in him, he sacrificed your home and people. you cursed him and promised to never forgive him, disappearing afterwards. you never saw him after that and you don’t want to see him in this life.
sometimes you wonder if you should have made that promise with the ocean as a witness, maybe then your heart wouldn’t ache so much when thinking of rafayel on cold nights where ocean waves are still.
zayne has a soul that is just as broken as yours and you found comfort in him. an excellent friend and an even better listener. sometimes you feel bad that he just listens when you recount your memories to him, but he tells you that it’s fine.
“you know,” you pipe up, “i think you would have liked lemuria.”
zayne glances at you from the corner of his eye, his eyebrows slightly rising in surprise that quickly fades from his face, a stoic expression settling in once more. he looks back to the front as you both keep walking down the busy street.
“how so?” zayne asks just as you both leave an art exhibition you’ve been meaning to check out under the guise of work.
“well,” you clear your throat, grabbing onto the arm that he offers you before leading you across a street. “it was filled with many lemurians, obviously. there was a nice ambiance. some… human interaction would have been nice for you. you wouldn’t have been so lonely. though, that is just my personal opinion.”
zayne chuckles at your rambling that continues on. at some point, you both stop as the stop light flashes green, cars resuming their trek down the road and preventing you two from crossing.
“thank you for accompanying me, doctor.” you smile, looking at the scene in front of you. “you really didn’t have to come with me today.”
“it is quite alright, y/n.” he replies, remaining quiet for a few seconds before speaking again. “...you need company around this time of year anyways.”
and your heart aches at the mention of that because it is around this time that a lifetime ago that you said goodbye to rafayel.
you shake the melancholic mood off and instead playfully scoff and nudge the taller man. “zayne, there is no need to be formal with me. after all, aren’t we friends?”
before zayne can even reply, you hear her voice. it makes both you and zayne turn towards the sound and you feel your heart drop to the ground.
rafayel is here.
he is standing in front of you, alive and well. he is breathing the same air as you, walking on the same ground as you. he still looks the same as ever, but he carries a certain air of freedom with him. the sight of him like this morphs your initial shock into rage. how dare he? how dare he be like this after what he’s done?
you two are the last lemurians because of his selfishness to pursue something that was never blessed by the fates.
“oh! doctor zayne, what are you doing here?”
you take this chance to whisper into zayne’s ears that you’re leaving. you hold onto his arm as you leaned forwards on the tip of your toes, leaning back and smiling at him as he gave you a nod. with that, you take off, walking as quickly as you could. the tears that prickle the corner of your eyes makes you mad because you don’t want to cry over a man that never treasured what he had, a man that abandoned his responsibilities. your aching feet take you to the beach and your mind instantly calms down, shoulders relaxing. you kick your heels off and walk down the sands, eyes on the waters.
“y/n.”
your throat tightens, eyes widening as you spin around. rafayel stands not too far from you, seemingly keeping a distance from you so as to not alert you. he’s panting, his purple hair sticking to his head and chest rising and falling. you swallow the lump in your throat and turn your back to him, continuing your path down the beach.
“y/n, wait.”
the desperation in his voice makes you angry, so you quicken your pace. he continuously calls out your name, and each time you can hear his emotions in his pleas. at some point, you find yourself standing with your feet submerged into the water, rafayel still behind you. it’s then that you feel his hand wrap around your wrist and you try snatching it out of his hold.
“rafayel, let me go.” you enunciate each word with venom in your tone, eyebrows furrowed.
rafayel shakes his head and you notice that his hand trembles.
“i’m not letting go,” he mumbles, “how can i let you go after what happened?”
that makes you scoff and roll your eyes, “you didn’t have a problem letting me leave back then.”
he stays quiet and you finally snatch your wrist away from him. "i told you that i was never going to forgive you.”
“you don’t mean that,” he quickly adds, his blue-pink eyes blown wide. “you’re lying.”
“rafayel, i’ve hated you these past 800 years. do you really think i’m lying?”
“you’re bluffing!” rafayel takes a step forwards and you take one back.
“i am not.”
rafayel feels his stomach twist and churn, feels his heart getting squeezed when tears begin to flow down from your eyes. as you’re crying, he slowly realizes that you’re wearing a dress from long ago. to be specific, you’re wearing your dress from your days as his priestess, the one that has flowy, light blue material. your arms are bare and tainted with the same blue markings that he had.
he reaches for your hand again, and this time you let him grab it. you’ve given him this chance, just this chance for him to explain himself, prove himself worthy to you. he won’t let you down.
“i’m sorry.” he says, heart drumming loudly in his ears. the sound gets drowned out by the sound of your crying, the soft sobs that leave your lips. “i’m sorry, y/n.”
“are you?” you question him, blinking, “are you really sorry?”
“of course i am! i’m—”
“then what are you sorry for, hm?” he stays quiet as you ramble to him, “are you sorry for not heeding my advice when i was your priestess to not indulge in her? are you sorry for not listening to me and going to the surface when we were equals? are you sorry for sacrificing the lemurians and our home for her?” you let out a bitter laugh and look off to the side, “don’t you see, rafayel? everything you’ve done was because of her and for her, you’ll do anything. so no, you aren’t sorry.” the next words you mutter makes him want to hurl.
“i know you well enough to know that you aren’t truly sorry.”
he shakes his head, desperately grasping onto your hand and intertwining your fingers together and bringing it to his bare chest where you feel the rapid beating of his heart. you stare at him, confused. tears coat his lashes before they slowly roll down his flushed cheeks. you almost choke not only because he’s crying and he never cries, but also because of how he looks. the blue markings that are drawn onto his pale skin, the gold jewelry, his blue garbs—the god of the tides himself kneels before you.
you’re brought out of your head when rafayel’s lips brush gently over your skin, lips quivering almost as if he was afraid. and he is afraid. he’s afraid that if he leaves a bruising kiss to your hand that you’ll break and disappear. he doesn’t want you to disappear. he wants you to stay, to stay here with him.
“i’m sorry, y/n. i’m so sorry.” he whispers, keeping his head down, “i took you for granted. i don’t know—”
“yes you do, you know that it’s because you love her,” you say, “and i loved you—”
rafayel looks up, eyes wide. you loved him? you loved him? loved.
“—and that’s why i put up with it. because for you… for you, i would do anything. i turned into seafoam for you so that you wouldn’t, i died after i saw you sing your last words,” your voice cracks, “but the final straw was that you betrayed all of us. you betrayed me. how could you even do that?”
“it meant killing her and—”
“i know what it meant! i know what it meant…” you glower at him, lips pursed, “but i thought that you would see it then. how you and her are ill-fated. how does a love like that make you sacrifice everything on a silver platter?”
“i—”
“i hate you, rafayel.”
rafayel shakes his head, voice shaking, “d-don’t say that. please, please don’t s-say that.”
“i hate you,” you repeat, your sobs growing louder, “i hate you. i hate you so much.”
the purple-haired male mutters apologies against your skin and in between kisses.
“i hate you so much because i still love you,” your knees buckle and you fall into the sand. rafayel catches you easily and guides your face to the crook of his neck where you continue to cry and gasp for air in between your words. “i still… i still love you. do you know h-how terrible that feels? to love someone that betrays you and his people continuously? a-and i just… i don’t want to be hurt again.”
“oh…” rafayel now presses his lips to the side of your head, “my pretty pearl…” he pulls away just enough to grab your hand once more, this time his grip is firm as he hooks your pinkies together and then touches the pad of your thumb with his own, pressing a kiss to it and muttering, “i promise that i’ll dedicate the rest of my lives in showing you that i want to cherish you, that i won’t let you go now or ever, that… that i love you.”
“don’t make such a cruel promise,” you huff, “let me go, raf. don’t be selfish and…” you trail off, watching as a little, blue fish emerges from your joined hands, swimming into the air and disappearing shortly afterwards.
rafayel laughs, a sound so joyous that it makes your heart flutter. “see? even the ocean blesses this promise of mine to you.” he leans forwards and you stay frozen, your cheeks feeling abnormally warm when his lips land on them. “i will earn your trust and your love, my pearl.”
the oceans, ever so truthful, know that the god of the tides tells the truth. the oceans know that the promise you made eight hundred years ago was done out of spite, a promise that never held any worth. the oceans also know that the god had finally woken up, had finally realized that what he had been chasing was nothing but an illusion, something meant to take him away from who he is meant to be with.
and the oceans can now rejoice in the god of the tides finally realizing his love to the one he is meant to be with, then and now and forever.
you have never been in love,
and as embarrassing as that is to admit,
just know that no one else has, either.
it’s just that some people are lucky,
and they can be with someone that
makes them smile, makes them pancakes.
and you, you don’t want to compromise:
bed space, closet space,
omitting cilantro from your best recipes
because all they can taste is soap when it is included.
the lucky ones switch bed sides,
eat dishes lacking coriander.
and the lucky ones didn’t have to pine,
to long, to suffer.
you have never been in love, and maybe
it’s because you think love is prolonged
heartbreak, not moving on, and waiting.
why would love make you wait,
when a California king is plenty of space to sleep,
when sweaters can be put into storage,
and when ice cream trumps raw herbs every time?
you love to hurt in the name of romance,
and still, you don’t know what love is.
now it’s time for you to let go,
and lucky for you,
it will be the most painful thing you have ever had to do.
synopsis. in each of his lives, you were the first he'd see and the first lemurian he'd befriend. a bond blessed by the god of the tides himself, only to broken in each life. even now, in this one.
genres/aus. angst, reincarnation au (?)
warnings. slight ooc on raf's part, slight spoilers/theories regarding rafayel and his myths and memories, including from the current event banner, reader isn't mc and mc is female (she doesn't have a name in here either!)
rating. sfw but make it lowk very angsty
wc. 1.3k word
part two here, series masterlist here
a/n. HEHEHE i love angst (there will be a second part! posted tmrw. i hope. let's hope) this is NOT proofread (im lazy OIFEJAW)
THIS, AND THE SECOND PART, ARE STAND ALONES ! THE SERIES IS (SLIGHTLY/VERY) DIFFERENT FROM THIS !
RAFAYEL HASN’T SEEN YOU SINCE THE OCEANS DRIED UP, effectively separating the two of you. something has always separated you two before reuniting with his love, and the memory of you always seems to fade away into the depths of his mind. the memory of you collects dust in a hidden corner of his heart.
though sometimes, when he takes a stroll on the beach, as he gazes at the crashing waves, you slip from your hiding spot and make yourself known. it’s then that he thinks about you fondly, remembering the times you would follow after him as he blew out the sea lanterns of his neighbors, your voice echoing in the waters as you chastised him.
so now, as he walks on the sand and watches the ocean’s waters, he’s reminded of you. in his past lives, you always managed to be his friend. he dares to say that you were always best friends. when he was the god of the tides, you were his priestess. you became immersed in your duties, preventing you from seeing him and later died at the hands of the sea witch, becoming sea foam, something that would have never happened if you weren’t so adamant on fixing the problem yourself despite his protests. he knew that you did it to prevent him from meeting your fate. when he is reborn, he meets you again. you’re his neighbor and become his friend after taking the blame when he first gets caught blowing out your family’s sea lantern. he never sees you again after he swam up to the surface, getting stranded at the island where he saw her again. however, he faintly remembers hearing someone else’s tears besides hers as he sang in his final moments. and then in his next life, you were his teammate. you were guarded, maintaining a distance from him. it was weird to see you like this towards him. perhaps, his past betrayals towards you finally caught up to him. but then you slowly let him, and your bond in that life was stronger than in his past lives. was it because you were on a mission to reclaim the sea with him? but then he betrayed you again because it meant harming her. and he remembers the tears and anger in your eyes, how they burned and how his image was reflected in your e/c’s hues. you promised that you would never forget this and that if you were given another chance, then you would never forgive him. you told him that you were done, that you hated him and never wanted to see him again because how dare he betray his people? betray his people over a love bound to always end in despair? you left him and he has never seen you again.
in this life, he has yet to meet you. or maybe he can’t anymore. he has already met his love again. you’re the first one he meets in every life… except for this one. rafayel thinks back to your last words: if you were given another chance… did you remember your past lives? did you remember everything? then are the fates finally fed up with him? did the fates decide that you deserved better? he knows that you do deserve better. you deserve someone better than him, someone who doesn’t continuously take advantage of you and who instead cherishes you and your entirety. perhaps… perhaps it is better this way. for your fate with him to be severed forever.
your friendship was one blessed by him when he was the god of the tides. your friendship was to be a symbol of perseverance and undying loyalty. he should have known that it would wear and break.
all because of him.
“i’ve been waiting for who knows how long,” rafayel huffs into his phone and toys with a fork in his free hand, glaring at it as a pout forms on his lips. “and you’re just answering?”
“rafayel, i’m a hunter. i can’t always answer your calls.”
“hunter this, hunter that,” he groans, leaning back into his chair. his eyes drift towards the windows of the restaurant he’s at, looking at the people that walk down the street. “you’re my bodyguard, and i thought you told me you were free today? at this exact time? so why are you so late?”
“something came up—”
her words fall on deaf ears.
his blue-pink eyes widen in shock and he jumps up from his seat, heart pounding.
he was so sure that he wouldn’t see you again. he was so sure that he was the last lemurian, the last of his kind that walks this earth.
the door slams shut after him, and he wastes no time in following the sound of your voice that grows quieter. rafayel runs past people and pushes through them; all he can think about is you, you, you.
what are you doing here? how are you even here?
did the fates give him another chance? did the fates give him an opportunity to make things right? to salvage a blessed and sacred bond?
soon enough, he finds you standing in front of him with your back to him. you’re different. he sees it in the way that you carry yourself. rafayel is in the midst of memorizing everything he sees until the sound of your laughter, so melodious and clear, fills the air. it’s like he and the world stops breathing, wanting to engrave this sound in his memory. it’s been so long since he’s seen you, much less heard you.
“thank you for accompanying me, doctor.”
doctor? are you sick? are you feeling okay?
“it is quite alright, y/n.”
he hears you playfully scoff and nudge a man that stands in front of you. he’s taller than you, has dark hair and hazel eyes.
“zayne, there is no need to be this formal with me. after all, aren’t we friends?”
friends. friends. friends.
“well—”
“rafayel!” an all too familiar sound steals his attention. he whips around, as do you and the doctor, and watch as a familiar figure approaches rafayel. the female hunter heaves and grabs him by the shoulder, looking concerned. “what happened? you suddenly went quiet on the phone and you wouldn’t respond! i was—”
rafayel glances back at you, meeting your gaze. your eyes, still the same shade of e/c that he hasn’t been able to recreate, widens in surprise. he takes this moment to commit your features to memory. it’s been so long since he’s seen you, surely he’s allowed to do this before you disappear like a dream? you still look the same, still so lovely like the flowers you used to like. do you still like them? the surprise soon fades from your face, hardening instead. rafayel stops breathing, his heart racing in fear.
do you hate him?
“oh! doctor zayne, what are you doing here?”
you take this chance to whisper something into the taller man’s ear, your hand on his elbow acting as an anchor as you tiptoe to meet the man halfway. his heart lurches, his stomach twisting and turning. you don’t spare rafayel a second as you turn and walk away, disappearing into the crowd. he’s lost in daze, all of his thoughts on you.
you, you, you.
“oh, who was that with you? she was very pretty,” she says, a teasing smile soon tugs her lips upwards. “is she your girlfriend, doctor zayne?”
rafayel chokes, coughing. did you have partner? is it this doctor? do—
“ah, that is y/n. she’s just a friend.”
at the revelation of your name, rafayel’s heart quickens. it is you, his best friend. the priestess in his first life, his best friend in the second, and his teammate in the last one.
you’re here.
“rafayel,” her voice, worried, echoes in his ears. “you’ve been oddly quiet. are you alright?”
oh, what is he thinking? rafayel’s stomach churns in discomfort. he’s here with her, yet you plague his mind. that isn’t right, he shouldn’t be like this. he loves her. this isn’t fair to your or her.
he should just let go… shouldn’t he?
he knows he should but he doesn’t want to. just this once… he should make things right.
synopsis. a morning call brings overwhelming emotions for a blond and his lover
genres/aus. fluff, established relationship
warnings. none that i am aware of! just might be ooc HAWEHFAH
rating. sfw
wc. 0.6 k
a/n. i love aventurine he is my world i would do anything for him (this is NAWT proof read bc im lazy hfahwefha)
THERE’S AN OBNOXIOUS RINGING THAT PERMEATES THE AIR, rousing you from your lovely sleep. you blink three times exactly, each one being longer than the first in an attempt to get rid of the blurring your vision has. it’s still in the early hours of the morning where everything is still, where there’s nothing to worry about and one can just relax and let go of what holds them back or ties them down. yes, it’s still in the early hours of the morning, and you almost doze off again as soon as the ringing ends, the warmth that radiates from the body behind you seemingly wanting to lull you back to sleep so you can join him again in his dream. but the ringing starts up once more.
you heave a sigh, “aven, wake up.” you attempt to twist in your boyfriend’s hold but find it hard to do so when his arms tighten around your waist. his grip loosens when he realizes that you aren’t trying to get up, so you finally turn around to face him.
aventurine’s eyes are closed and his pale-blond hair sticks up in every direction. the sight brings a small smile to your face and a chuckle slips past your lips. you nudge his cheek with your nose and watch as the corner of his lips are tugged upwards.
“aven,” you whisper, “your phone.”
he huffs and grumbles underneath his breath, his eyes fluttering open to reveal the beautiful hues that you love so much. you press a kiss to one of his eyes as he reaches out to grab his phone, and feel as his skin gets hotter against yours. he shoots you a look that holds overflowing love before clearing his throat and answering the call. he keeps an arm underneath your head, acting as a pillow that you gladly cuddle into.
aventurine listens half-heartedly at what the person on the phone tells him and instead thinks about going back to sleep with you after he’s done with this call… so the faster it ends, the quicker he can go back to you, right? oh, the things you do to him. you’re right next to him, your head on top of his arm, and yet he craves to be even closer to you. can you really blame him for being like this? for being so touch-starved? no, not really. you brought this upon yourself willingly with all your sweet words directed at him, with all of the love you shower him in…
“alright, let’s schedule the meeting for today.” he glances at you from the corner of his eye, his yearning intensifying by a tenfold. he wants to embrace you properly and dream with you, breathe with you as you both slumber in each other’s warmth and comfort.
“what time should i schedule it for, sir?” his underling’s voice brings aventurine’s attention back on him.
the male thinks for a moment, “at three. that should be a good time.”
“understood, s—”
aventurine doesn’t wait for his underling’s sentence to finish. he hangs up the phone and throws it off to the side, the device bouncing softly on the empty space of the bed. he throws half of his body over you, eager to feel you closer to him. you toss onto your other side so you can tuck your head underneath your lover’s chin, and a smile graces your lips as you snake your hands around his waist and under his shirt. aventurine trembles at the contact, your touch pleasantly warm against his cold skin.
when you lean back and look at him through your eyelashes, a smile still present on your features, he feels his heart thump loudly in his chests and soar. with a hand, he reaches out and caresses your cheek.
oh, he thinks to himself, i love you.
and it seems like you read his mind because you beam at him and whisper those three words to him, making his cheeks turn red.
you both end up falling asleep afterwards, feeling content and happy.
