Imagine you being in a shitty relationship with your boyfriend, and suddenly the most popular guy in school / campus trying to break you guys up so he could have you
Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend
No way, no way, I think you need a new one
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend
HSR men x reader ( Dan heng, aventurine, Dr ratio, Blade, Jing yuan, Phainon, mydei )
<< May contain implied sexual themes or obsessive behavior with violence, be warned and viewers discretion is advised >>
DAN HENG
Those stereotypical cool and mysterious nerds type, in the back of your class where everyone is secretly fantasizing about. You never actually pay attention to him even tho both of you are neighbors in the same dorm building.
Every time you and your boyfriend argue which always leads him to leave, Dan heng would knock on your door to check if you are okay or not.
Would secretly sebotage your boyfriend and your relationship by messing up his schedule and his scholarship as well as relationship with the school. Wanting to kick him out, hacking his device and gaining important information about him
While also smooth talking and pretending to be the quiet savior you need, why stick with someone as pathetic with your boyfriend when you and him can be together. Hes better at everything than him.
SECRET NOTE : would send threats towards your boyfriend's phone making him fear going outside or be paranoid, while also putting a camera in your room to watch you. Meaning he can see everything that's going on. ;β )
AVENTURINE
The heart throb of the school, one of the great looking guys at school and as well being part of the stone hearts, a group of students who are known to be elites, They have everything money, power and social class. Hes pretty approachable but there's always an air of unease everybody has told you because whenever or not aventurine wanna have something from you or he wants to use you, So people are advised to keep distance.
Aventurine is also known amongst the student population to possess immense luck and as well as his tendency to gamble, but recently his attention has been directed to you, making small talks with you and even asking help from you even tho there're better options.
Not to mention with the additional case of him spoiling you, from buying you lunch towards buying you shit that can pay for your dorm yearly, and as well as being physically touchy like swinging his arm around your shoulder when greeting you and making a glance towards your shitty boyfriend.
Even if you tried to reject his Advances since it's not appropriate, most people in your life say just to leave your boyfriend for aventurine, he absolutely found you adorable even if you tried to reject.
SECRET NOTE ; there's always an outline with him and your boyfriend as if your boyfriend fears him, as well as on how aventurine would sometimes send inappropriate gifts to you even if you're in a relationship. Like giving you a limited edition lingerie with a note "can't wait to see you wearing this for me"
VERITAS RATIO
An intimidating and star model student of your campus, literally everyone knows about him and his legendary academic achievement, people would say he even suppresses the professors in your campus in their profession.
Would take any chance he gets to humiliate your boyfriend, making a fool out of him. I mean this is a normal habit and every one will one day experience it if you don't meet his standard.
But when with you, he's gentle and willing to help you understand. I mean people may assume ratio is narcissistic but not in a sense he is, hes just very passionate about teaching people.
Every time you and him have lessons he would be gentle with you, he is soft and would move strands of hair if got into your face and put it behind your ear with the look of love, he would always ask questions about your relationship and when he noticed bruises on your arms you tryna cover up. You literally had to calm him down before he could do anything physical to your boyfriend.
SECRET NOTE : would sometimes be physically closed to you, like leading your hand with his body press up against you in the black board of the empty lecture hall And would whisper praised at your ears when you get something right.
BLADE
A literal walking red flag, everyone from students, close friends, professors and even locals warns you of him. Plus hes always not to be seen at campus and still manages to get passing grades. Even Dan heng warns you personally with seriousness and asks you to swear on it not to interact with him.
He's part of a group of well known students who get in trouble or have criminal connections in the underworld, some might say he's suicidal and work as an assassin during at night but it's just rumors ... Right?
Anyway the first interaction you had with him was when, your boyfriend had abandoned you in a mall front gate because he wants to go to a party while you don't so he ditched you, when you were waiting. A black car pulls up and the window rolls down revealing the tadaa... Blade.
He offers himself your ride home, during the car ride it was so awkward so you tried to start a conversation with him and why is he awake at this late when you look at your phone it was 3:12 am at night, he just simply replied with coming home from work. Even tho the silence was deafening you don't know whether or not you are seeing things but there's a small crack with blood at the far corner of the windshield
SECRET NOTE : after he drops you off at your dorm, you receive a message from the hospital saying that your boyfriend has gotten into an accident where a car slam into him and is now in critical condition, the police investigation saying that your boyfriend with a car that fits with blades car description
JING YUAN
The most beautiful and charming student council president that your campus has ever had in their hundred year old history, even tho he may seem lazy, he is diligent and beautiful in anyway. Some of your friends would say hes like a real life prince charming, Absolutely beautiful.
He seems to care a lot about you, always checking-in on your studies and is there when your boyfriend starts to act up in public.
Hes very touchy, he seems to always know where you are at anytime playing the prince charming role. At first it was romantic but the more you think of it, it starts to get suspicious. One time you were crying at the library at the far back your legs tuck in, suddenly a warm embrace engulfs your body it was Jing yuan.
He's pretty chill and as well has this habit of using your body as a pillow, basically when he gets sleepy and lay on your lap without your permission or concern on others watching. Every time you wanna say something he chuckled it off by not taking it seriously.
SECRET NOTE : you could tell that he's a pervert in some way, like how he's eyes would hide satisfaction every time when you cried as if he enjoyed seeing you relying on him. And one time when he's dozing off your lap and you were complaining about your recent fight, he said out of the blue "why don't you just drop that piece crap for me, I'm sure I can satisfy you unlike that waste of good exhaustion" and go back to sleep leaving you stunned from the comment
PHAINON
The Golden boy of your college, everyone seems to love and wants to be friends with him. I mean he comes from a wealthy family, great physics ( I mean look at that bod ), amazing personality and good grades.
People would say that his invisible tail would wag every time he found you, spinning you around like how a puppy is so happy finally finding its favorite toy.
Literally despise your boyfriend, he did not even try to hide it offering suggestions to just break up with him. This leads towards many public fights with him and your boyfriend.
As well as leaving flirty comments 24/7 on you saying how beautiful you are and as well how he's eyes always on you no matter what you are doing like as if your the most beautiful creature in the planet. Same as Jing yuan he's very touchy to the point being physically and emotionally upset when he gets to split up from you
SECRET NOTE : during lunch you hear there's a fight happening in the courtyard and when you arrive you see your boyfriend being literally beat up to a pulp by phainon blood everywhere and as well as a broken nose, he seems to not even be conscious during this time and many students tried to hold back phainon but once a teacher arrive and escorted him, he saw your figure amongst the crowd and send you an intoxicating smile saying that he has no regrets beating the shit out of your boyfriend.
MYDEI
Club president of the cooking club and as well as being the heir of a big shot company at Castum Kremnos there's a rumor of him being the exiled crown prince due to misbehaving but it's just a rumor, every girl in your campus seems to agree that he would make a great house husband.
I mean who wouldn't agree he cooks, he's respectful, Good with kids, great family background and beautiful plus perfect facial features and a body as if being shaped by the Gods.
He may seem intimidating but people swear that he has a good heart, even phainon seems to be fond of him always talking about how mydei is so great and a worthy rival.
Originally it was so awkward between you and him but once you get through that phase he seems to be so kind and caring for you, and as well as inviting you towards the cooking club and comforting people when you usually walk in on you and him who was having a discussion would assume it was a date. Literally hates your boyfriend he seems to have more restraint then phainon when it comes to violence.
SECRET NOTE : He and phainon seem to always be around you literally, they move into your friend group just to spend more time with you. People and friends would joke around about how you have two Big hound dogs watching over you. Plus they are attentive taking care of you 24/7 to the point people would assume you broke up with your boyfriend and entered into a poly relationship
π£ππ π₯πππππ ππππ πππππππ | sunday x fem!reader
SYNOPSIS: Penacony is riddled with rumours about infighting within The Family, resulting in Penaconians and tourists to question the stability of the Dreamscape and whether the Five Great Lineages are actually βharmoniousβ. As a solution, the Dreammaster assigns youβThird to the Iris Family Headβto marry Sunday, the revered Head of the Oak Family. A symbolic pair meant to embody harmony within The Family and refute hearsay.
Beneath the spectacle, however, lies unresolved affection, quiet hesitation, and the painful question of whether your βperfectβ marriage is merely performanceβor something real.
CONTENT WARNING: arranged marriage, halovian!reader, actress!reader, reader is referred to as miss & mrs, loosely follows canon lore, fluff, angst, SLOW BURN, one sided pining but eventually turns to mutual pining, requited unrequited love, childhood friends, forbidden lovers if you squint, petname (my love), OCs mentioned, plot with p*rn, smut (mdni), virgin!sunday, masturbation (m), body worship if you squint, guided fingering, virginity loss (m), p in v, creampie, sunday cums a lot lol, not beta read.
WORD COUNT: 22,994
NOTES: this is prob the most slowburn fic iβve ever written >< sunday fic for my birthmonth hehe enjoy!! div: diviniyae
Moment of Morning Dew
The chandeliers of Dewlight Pavilion glimmered like suspended constellations, their fractured light spilling across polished marble in soft gold and pale violet. Even in the Dreamscapeβwhere beauty was manufactured to perfectionβthis place still carried a certain weight; a stillness that pressed gently against oneβs lungs. Amidst the grandeur of the Pavilion, you stood a step behind Maeven Ellisβs absenceβyour adoptive motherβher authority as Iris Family Head lingered in your posture in the way attendants lowered their gaze as you passed.
Third to the Head of the Iris Family, yet today, you felt oddly like a child again; waiting in a suffocating office as you were summoned by the Dreammaster himself, you werenβt aware of the reason why he had called upon your name but judging from your senses, you werenβt going to like it.
Across the room, not far off from where you stood, was Sunday, he was situated beneath a stained glass window, its colours painted him in shifting hues of amber, indigo and rose where it bounced off his gleaming halo, depicting him as some kind of reverend being. When you had entered the Dreammasterβs office, you were greeted by the Oak Family Headβa mere formality, a simple nod of his head. No words, no nothing.
It had been a while since youβve last stood in his presence like this, most of the time youβd see him around Penacony or during grand Family banquets but that was about it, nothing more than a hollow distance between the two of you.
Minutes of deafening silence passed before the doors to the office opened once again and in came Mr. Gopher Wood, it wasnβt his original form, merely someone elseβs bodyβpresumably someone from the Oak Familyβhe had possessed.
βCome closer.β He had instructed before taking a seat behind the wooden desk, his tone was calm yet it held unparalleled authorityβas a child, it would always send chills down your spine; countless Family gatherings where he spoke to your mother in such a tone. The Dreammaster was a kind man yet something about him unsettled you.
Without another word, you stepped forward just short of his desk, heels echoing faintly against the marble floors. Sunday mirrored your actions, standing a few centimetres away from youβit was enough to get a whiff of his scent.
Vanilla and musk, something sweet yet pierced oneβs senses. You tried to ignore the way his shoulder almost brushed your own and how his figure towered you.
βIβm sure youβre both well aware of rumours that are circulating around the Dreamscape,β Mr. Gopher Wood began, hands folded neatly atop the desk.
You sucked in a small breath, youβd heard them too. Whispers that drifted through velvet corridors, murmured between the cracks of reality that there was in-fighting between The Family lineages which ultimately questioned the Dreamscapeβs stability. For a space designed to eliminate unfavourable factors, it wasnβt hard for negativity such as baseless rumours to start circulating within its walls.
Dangerous words which challenged The Family.
But . . as for summoning you and Sunday, you were clueless. Why did the Dreammaster specifically choose you? You werenβt skeptic about Sunday as he held authority over the Oak Family, in other words, he was Mr. Gopher Woodβs successor but as for you . . it didnβt quite make sense.
Neither of you answered, instead, you both waited for the Dreammaster to speak once more.Β
βRumours are . . fragile things, if they are left unchecked, they fracture trust. And in Penacony, trust is the foundation upon which dreams stand.β
The Dreammaster continued, βThus, we shall give Penacony something stronger than baseless rumoursβa symbol of eternal harmony.β Something inside your stomach tightened, you didnβt like the tone in his sentence, as if it was final and had no room for ifβs or butβs; an idea that was already concrete before it came into existence.
If the previous silence felt suffocating, this one was much, much worse. It felt heavier and pressed onto your skin tighter as though it was determined to live inside your bones. For a moment, all you could hear was the faint hum of the warm chandeliersβeven its glimmering lights felt hot against your skin, a searing burn.
Was the Dreammaster serious? An arranged marriage between you and Sunday? In your eyes, marriage weighed more than a coin being tossed in a bucket, it symbolised unity between two individuals who loved and cherished one another, not a faΓ§ade to combat baseless rumours, and especially not a lie.
A million emotions surged through you; the thought of eternal unity with Sunday was something you had always dreamed of ever since you were a child. The first time you laid eyes upon him was when you were both naΓ―ve and wide-eyed, and something inside your young heart stirred when he laughed at your jokes or tugged at your hands with his, running away from panicked attendants assigned to look after you.
Back then, your adoptive mother would bring you over to the old Oak Family manor for play dates with Sunday and his younger twin sisterβa young trio built on mischief and pure wander. The three of you were inseparable until the day duties and career came into talk, where days filled with innocent laughter turned into monotonous lessons that prepared one for the burden of authority.
Yes, you werenβt going to deny it, you had feelings for Sunday that stemmed a long while back but being married to him under a contract that screamed nothing but business was not what younger you wouldβve wanted, no, she had dreamed of a blossoming, genuine love.
There was also unease for the role entrusted upon you; how would being in a false marriage affect your naΓ―ve heart? You were well aware Sunday didnβt mirror your feelings at all but having him pretend and play the part of a husband was beyond dangerous. It was ironic to think that this marriage was akin to Penaconyβs Dreamscape itselfβa dream becoming a reality.
But . . was it your dream to be married off to Sunday in the name of falsehood?
With the Charmony Festival inching closer, it wasnβt a surprise the Dreammaster was becoming desperate for a solution.
You laughed. A humourless sound that conveyed the disbelief in your heart; you were raised to be a respectful, refined woman especially in the presence of esteemed Elders but not when said Elder proposed such a bizarre idea. This was marriage the Dreammaster was talking about, a life long commitmentβa life long role that was anything but real.
βPardon my brazenness, Mr. Gopher Wood but . . are you serious?β
The Dreammaster didnβt so much as blink, βCompletely.β
At his affirmative reply, you slowly turned your head to the side towards Sunday; he remained expressionless, the glimmer in his citrine eyes hiding more than just pure emotions. His posture remained straight, one hand tucked behind his back just as he had been taught by the Oak Family Elders. Whether the idea affected him or not, Sunday didnβt let on, not even a twitch of his brow nor a rustle of his ivory wings.
βA union between the Oak and Iris Family presented as one of harmonyβof perfection. A model pair for Penaconians to look up to, and once the people see The Familyβs harmony upon supporting this marriage, rumours will fade.β Mr. Gopher Wood continued, which turned your attention back to him.
The Dreammaster had a point, with two significant figures in the five lineages getting married, Penaconians would witness The Family working together to ensure it happens flawlesslyβthe Oak Family would be tasked with organization, the Alfalfa Family with financing, the Bloodhound Family with security, the Iris Family with reception entertainment, and the Nightingale Family with decorations. All in perfect harmony.
βAnd what it needs to see,β You murmured quietly. βIs a lie?β You knew it was only a matter of time before the Dreammaster exhausted his patience and snapped. He had always been fond of you but knew to draw the line at disrespect.
His gaze remained fixated on you, it wasnβt unkind but it was firm, unwilling to back down from the challenge you had presented; he noticed the way your wings rustled imperceptibly, how it curled inwards as if to display silent retaliation.
βThe Dreamscape needs stability.β
That wasnβt the answer you were looking for.
Slowly, you exhaled then fully turned toward Sunday, his golden halo glimmered brighter than ever, βSunβMr. Sunday.β He looked at you, really looked at you, and for a split secondβjust a flickerβyou saw it. Something from years ago when he used to grin at you over ice cream and toys.
βAre you okay with this?β The question came out softer than youβd expected, laced with vulnerability. Sunday held your gaze for a moment longer than necessary, then, parted his lips to speak,Β
βAs Oak Family Head, it is my duty to ensure that everything within the Dreamscape remains in order.β
β. . Thatβs not what I asked.β
Were you surprised, though? Youβve always known Sunday was a selfless individual, especially when it came to Robin but you wishedβmore than anythingβthat heβd be a bit more selfish; to do something that he truly wanted and not because he was bound by duty and expectations.
βThis arrangement fulfills its purpose.β As expected, Sunday spoke like this matter was nothing more than another responsibility to be managed, throwing out the fact that he was to be married off to someone he didnβt love.
You nodded, βRight.β A small, hollow sound. And once more, you were hit with the harsh reality that this Sunday wouldnβt run away the same way he did during the lessons he found boring, no, instead this Sunday would build the cage himself if it meant keeping everything intact and under his control.
Hesitantly, you looked away first, directing your attention back to the Dreammasterβany second longer looking at those citrine eyes was far too dangerous for your heart, βApologies, Mr. Gopher Wood but I need time. This isnβt . . exactly a small decision.β
But did you even have the luxury to make a choice? Nonetheless, Mr. Gopher Wood inclined his head slightly and indulged you in your request, βYou will have what time is necessary but do understand, the longer uncertainty lingers, the more damage rumours may cause.β
A gentle threat wrapped in silk.
You nodded calmly, though your thoughts were nowhere nearly as composed. Marriage. To Sunday. It was as though the stars were playing a nasty elaborate prank on you but as twisted as it was, a part of youβone buried within the depths of your beingβwas happy.
Could you blame yourself though? Youβve pined for Sunday for eons because maybe, just maybe, he would finally look at you the same way youβve looked at him: under the light of romance.
βThen, I shall take my leave. Mr. Gopher Wood. Mr. Sunday.β After necessary formalities, you turned to leave, light from the chandeliers above stretching your meek shadow across the marble floor.
βMaeven Ellisβs daughter.β
You paused. It was the Dreammasterβs voice once again, βYou are an actress, are you not?β
Glancing over your shoulder, you spoke up, βYes.β
βThen think of this as your most important role.β
At his words, your lips pressed into a thin line. That was easier said than done. A performance, of course, everything in Penacony was. You didnβt bother responding, instead, you kept walking, heels echoing with each careful step, out of the Dreammasterβs office and away from Sunday.
Moment of Golden Hour
Despite the name of Golden Hour, sunlight didnβt spill like liquid gold in the Moment but the Dreamscape was as beautiful as ever. After the impromptu meeting with the Dreammaster and Sunday, you found yourself sitting on an iron bench at Aideen Parkβa quiet corner devoid of commotion to collect your thoughts. In the distance, laughter echoed and soft music the band performed.
On your lap rested an important document for an upcoming film, pages and pages of a bound script to read and remember but for once, you didnβt feel like reading. Not when your mind wandered off to the encounter a few system hours back, you couldnβt help but replay Mr. Gopher Woods wordsβthat youβd be married to Sunday.
Amidst the serenity of the Moment, your ears perked up at the sound of familiar footsteps coming closerβcalculated and sharpβbut you didnβt bother looking up.
βI thought you might be here.β
The owner of the calm voice was no other than Sunday, you were more than certain of it because only he had the power to make your heart stutter. You didnβt let onβdidnβt show an ounce of emotion just as youβve been doing for the past years youβve known him. Slowly, you exhaled, gaze still fixed on the inked pages atop your lap.
βThe Oak Family Head seeking an audience with me? What a lucky woman I am.β You chuckled humourlessly. Sunday didnβt reply and you almost felt bad for greeting him with such a sour state, so you spoke up again, β. . Are you surprised? You know my hiding spots better than anyone.β
Growing up, Sunday learned that whenever you had something in mind, you always seemed to seek out quiet spots to unwind and one of them happened to be in Aideen Parkβa tucked little area away from everyone while still able to bask in the Momentβs luxury.
βYou never changed them.β Sunday whispered in a soft tone, if you hadnβt caught it, youβd think he was merely murmuring to himself. There was something in his voice you didnβt quite recognize, one that made you curl your fingers tighter around the pages.
βIs there . . something you need, Oak Family Head?β
As much as he appreciated authority, Sunday never did like it when you addressed him with formality but heβd rather sever his halo than admit it to your face. After all, it was merely a silly thought. He let your question linger in the air for a while, letting the background noise of the park fill the space between the two of you, then, he spoke,
βI came for your answer.β Straight to it. Of course he did.
A quiet, humourless laugh slipped past your lips, you finally turned to look at him. The golden lights of Aideen Park engulfed his pale blue strands, it softened the edges of his otherwise composed expression but it didnβt make him easier to read. You couldnβt lie, Sunday looked absolutely breathtaking and it pained your heart at how effortless it was for him; his citrine gaze shone the same way his halo did, bright and blinding.
βMy answer? Thatβs what this is to you? And here I thought you came to seek me out as aβI donβt know, maybe a friend?β
It was microscopic but you saw the way Sundayβs shoulders sagged and how the wings behind his ears lowered but you werenβt about to be moved by something minute; what the Dreammaster had asked of youβand Sundayβwasnβt something simple, it asked for your soul, to play a never ending role built on lies.
βItβs a matter that requires resolution.β He replied evenly. Your chest tightened, βDo you know what youβre asking of me, Sunday?β The question came out sharper than intended but you didnβt take it back and for the first time, something flickered across his face, maybe it was surprise, maybe it was discomfort, you didnβt bother deciphering.
βI am aware of the implicationsββ βNo.β You cut him, shaking your head as you stood, the script on your lap swiftly falling onto the ground, long forgotten. βNo, youβre aware of the politics of itβthe outcome.β
Frustration rose within your body, a scowl forming on your face as you stepped forward. Sunday had never seen such a look painted on your face, he had only ever seen pleasant expressions from you, especially directed towards him.
βYouβre asking me to stand beside you in front of all of Penacony and smile like it means something. To let them believeββ Your voice caught slightly but pushed through it, ββto let them believe this is real.β
βThatβs the role weβve been assigned.β He said quietly. βAssigned,β You echoed, almost incredulous. βIs that all this is to you? Another duty? Another piece of the Dreamscape you have to keep polished and intact?β
βIf you think I have the luxury to treat it as anything else then you are sorely mistaken.β
βThen, let me ask you one thing, Oak Family Head. Did you have a hand at choosing your . . partner?β With Sunday willing to fulfill such a role, you were certain Mr. Gopher Wood had already told him about the proposal prior to the meeting earlier, and you were sure the latter had at least given him freedom to choose.
Sunday nodded, βYes.β
You let out a shaky breath, your scowl turning into something much softer. Sadness. βBut why? Why me, Sunday? DonβtβDonβt you know how cruel that is? To ask for something that big?β You looked away, unable to see the way regret briefly shadowed his face. His chest tightened at your pitiful form, he didnβt mean to put you in a troubled spot but he wasnβt entirely innocent either.
Marriage meant the two of you were bound to each other for eternity with divorce was absolutely out of the table, especially for prominent figures like you and Sunday; it made sense for a planet that worshipped the Aeon of Harmony.
β. . Because I assumed you wouldnβt be scared doing it with me, at leastβdoing it by my side.β
Oh, your foolish, foolish heart shouldnβt have skipped a beat at his reply but it did and it angered you even more that it did because despite it all, you still loved him. And maybe you were willing to comply but a greater part of you was stubborn.
βDo not try to mold me with flattery, Sunday. What about us, hm? Weβre not symbolsβnot the βmodel pairβ the Dreammaster deems us to be. Weβre people with lives of our own! I cannot dictate for you but I know marriage is something I want to be organic. To fall in love with a man who cherishes and loves me back.β
Words hung heavy in the air, fragile and bare. For a split second, you were convinced he was going to take a step closer and say something that wasnβt measured or wrapped in a silken ribbon called duty. And maybe some twisted part of you wished Sunday would have told you that heβd at least try to love youβto reassure and tell you that your heart has a home in his hands but he didnβt.Β
Instead, he said: βWe are what Penacony needs us to be.β
Silence settled once more, you didnβt answer this time as you were reminded that you and Sunday held very different dreams. You closed your eyes to steady yourself briefly, and when you opened them again, your expression had shifted, something more resigned, β. . Fine.β
Sundayβs ears perked, wings spreading ever so slightly as if to convey shock. You straightened slightly, smoothing the invisible wrinkles from your clothesβa habit youβve picked up before you stepped in front of rolling cameras.
There was no use arguing with Sunday or pushing your ideals to him, he was stubborn and heβd do anything to ensure the stability of the Dreamscape, even if it meant carrying the weight of falsehood his whole life. Besides, arguing like this in public was sure to garner unwanted attention, it was only a matter of time before someone heard of the conversation.
βIf this is the role entrusted to me then Iβll play it. Iβll accept the marriage.β The words felt foreign on your tongueβtoo final but you didnβt waver.Β
Sunday carefully studied you as if to search for something beneath your composure, βAre you certain?β
You laughed humourlessly, βDo you think I have a choice? But if you want me to be honest, no. But Iβll do it anyway.β For you, you wanted to add. You bent down to swiftly pick up your script, dusting it off lightly, and when you returned his gaze, your expression had settled into something practiced.
βDonβt worry, Iβll make it believable.β The corners of your lips tugged upwards despite its heaviness.
βI . . never doubted that. You are one of Penaconyβs greatest actresses.β Sunday intended to lighten the mood, to flatter your skills and forget about the tension in the air but for some reason, his words hurt more than anything else. You put too much faith in me, Sunday. You thought.
Sure, acting came easily to you but not when you had to play the eternal role of a loving wife for a man youβve pined for. For years. It was a twisted game that tested the borders between a dream and reality, and you could only hope to build a cage around your naΓ―ve heart.
Moment of Morning Dew
Wedding preparations commenced shortly after meeting with the Dreammaster once more to confirm your stance on his idea; everything was a blur, from colleagues and close friends congratulating you on your engagement (even Robin who sent a congratulatory letter despite being aware of everything) to exclusive interview appearancesβsometimes accompanied by Sundayβto talk about every detail.
Of course, since the engagement came out of the blue, it was met with a lot of speculation, and rightfully so as not a single soul had seen you and Sunday together outside Family gatherings but even in banquets, neither you nor him would really converse.
But, those speculations were easily dismissed by letting interviewers know that you hid your relationship with him for personal reasons; it wasnβt foreign for celebrities to do such things. Though, the only truth you uttered during those interviews was probably the fact that you loved Sunday.
Silk draped from the ceiling in soft, cascading layers, mirrors framed in gold caged you in, it reflected you in every angle, each one just slightly more flattering than the last. Assistants moved like whispersβadjusting and smoothing but never loud enough to cause unnecessary chaos.
The Dewlight Pavilion served many purposes for The Familyβthe main being a place where Heads discussed important matters but you didnβt expect it to host a fitting room specifically curated for wedding preparations; it only made sense with how busy your schedule was, not to mention how you just finished a table-read two system hours ago which meant the script was still swimming in your mind and so was exhaustion.
βHold still, please.β
A quiet exhale escaped through your nose, resisting the urge to fidget as a pair of hands adjusted the fall of fabric at your waist; you just wanted to go home. βI am still.β You murmured.
βStill-er.β The head assistant replied gently.
Tired, you bit back a comment, there was no point arguing with anyone. It was evening and you wanted this over and done with, the more you cooperated, the faster this whole thing would be finished.
The gown itself was unsurprisingly perfect. Whiteβof courseβbut not the stark kind, it shimmered faintly like it had been spun from light filtered through clouds. Intricate golden embroidery traced along the bodice, delicate and intentional.Β
βThere. All done! How does it feel, miss?β
The head assistantβs dainty voice faded into as you looked at the mirror, it was the first time you stared at your reflection since standing inside this fitting room yet strangely enough, an actress stared right backβthe βyouβ all of Penacony knew, the one in front of flashing lights and rolling cameras.
βYouβre truly beautiful, miss!β Another one of the assistants gasped, her reddened face tucked between the hearts of her palms.
β. . Thank you. The dress feels . . fine, itβs not too heavy.β The staff dismissed the absentmindedness laced in your voice, mistaking it for pure awe. You didnβt know what to feel seeing yourself in a wedding dress because even with an exquisite ring wrapped around your finger, you still couldnβt believe you were getting married.
βTurn slightly, please.β The head assistant instructed and you did. The skirt fanned out like a blooming flower, its silken fabric faintly glimmering beneath the lights.
βPerfect.β She breathed out.
Perfect. The word followed you everywhere these daysβabout your relationship with Sunday, about the engagement ring, and now about the dress. You were about to give her a practised reply, the same one youβve been giving everyone elseβa βthank youβ and a smile that reached your eyesβuntil the atmosphere shifted.
The curtains behind you weren't drawn yet but you knew who was beyond them and you were certain the attendants knew as well from the way their backs straightened, immediately stepping away from the raised platform you stood upon.
βPardon my intrusion, may I step inside?βΒ
Sundayβs voice filled the silence. As if on cue, heat blanketed your cheeks, heart racing at the thought of him seeing you in a wedding dress. Your gaze landed on the head assistant through the reflection, giving her a slight nod to which she immediately understood and swiftly drew the curtains back.
As Sunday stepped inside, both attendants silently bowed their heads and headed out, closing the curtains behind them to give privacy. Alone in a small space with him with too many mirrors; you swallowed thickly and smoothed down the skirt of the dress, βI wasnβt aware of your visit.β You murmured, tucking a loose strand behind your ear.
βI was told preparations were underway. I wanted to ensure there were no complications.βΒ
Of course.
βWell?β You started, head tilted slightly. βYou came all this way, you should at least give your evaluation.β Your hands found its way atop your clothed hip. It was half a joke, half a challenge yet you awaited for his words.
Sunday didnβt reply immediately, instead, his gaze settled on youβsteady and unreadable. You observed how his amber eyes lingered on the bodice of your dress a second or two longer before moving on to the bloomed skirt. Beneath his wandering gaze, something in your chest tightened, cheeks burning deeper, it almost felt like a thousand needles prickling your skin.
β. . It suits you.β He said at last.
You blinked, brows knitting together, βThatβs it?β
βYou expected more?β
βI expected something. Iβm about to be married off to the Oak Family Head and become the half of Penaconyβs model pair, surely that warrants something far better than βit suits youβ.β
βYou always did prefer honest reponses.β That caught you off guard. Sunday wasnβt one to reminisce about the pastβat least not with youβbut he has done it twice now, once back at Aideen Park and once today.
You didnβt reply nor did you acknowledge how his gaze softened slightly, βWell, if you want honesty then . . you look exquisite and the dress harmonizes with your beauty perfectly,β The end of his sentence ended awkwardly, as if he wanted to speak more but ultimately decided to hold back.
You were well aware there was no romance behind his compliment, it was merely an honest, straightforward one but you couldnβt help suck in a breath. You looked away, clearing your throat lightly, once again smoothing a none existent crease on the dress, βThatβs the goal, isnβt it? To make me look presentable for the big day.β
Sunday hummed absentmindedly causing you to risk a glance at him once more, his eyes were still on you but this time he wasnβt assessing, he was admiring.
βHow is it then? Convincing enough for you, Mr. Sunday?β
His gaze finally drew upwards βtil it met your own, a strange glint flickered in his honeyed eyes, β. . Too convincing.β
Whatever that meant
Before you could respond, the head assistant spoke just beyond the drawn curtains, effectively breaking the . . moment between you and Sunday. Akin to a deer caught in headlights, you slightly stepped away from the latter; funnily enough, there was already a great distance between the two of you but somehow you just felt like distancing yourself further.
βMiss, we need to finalize the veil fitting.β
You cleared your throat, trying to burn down Sundayβs weighted stare, βOf course.β
β. . I should take my leave then.β His gaze lingered on your face but you didnβt dare meet it. With that, he let out a soft sigh, turning around to part the curtains and leave but before he could even take one step, you called out his name, tone laced with . . desperation?
βS-Sunday . . ?β You werenβt sure why you did it or what possessed you to even utter his name yet somehow, you felt it was necessary to do so; though, you didnβt know what to say because now, Sunday looked over his shoulderβcitrine gaze, full of hidden curiosity, just above his ivory wingβwaiting for what was to come next.
βIβll see you later, okay?β What did that even mean? Why did you say that? You were certain Sunday was just as confused about your reply as you were but he didnβt seem to let on, in fact, without so much of a hitch, he tilted his head, gave a little smileβone that had you biting the inside of your cheekβand replied, βOf course.β
Then, without another word, he gave both attendants a nod of acknowledgement before heading for the door.
Moment of Blue Hour
After two strenuous weeks of running around the Dreamscapeβwhether it be for work or for wedding preparationsβthe big day finally came, and in all honesty, you werenβt sure what to feel. The morning felt like a huge blur, attendants rushed in and out of the bridal suite to tend to you, and several loved ones visited in between, it served as a gentle reminder that you werenβt entirely alone. At least not today.
The first to check on you was Robin, she had peeked into your suite with a warm smile on her face, though, it didnβt quite reach her eyes. You didnβt blame her, she knew of the situation and you assumed she also didnβt know how to feel for youβhappiness seemed too cruel but sadness would also dampen the unsteady mood that lingered within the atmosphere.
The least she could leave you with was encouragement and a few good words about her brother: βI know you know my older brother well enough so I wonβt say much but . . he will never hurt you. You and I both know he wants the best for everyone, and that includes you.β
The next two who visited were Ms. Maeven Ellis and Siobhan who stayed a little longer with you, especially the latterβout of the three, Lady Siobhan was probably the only one who understood your emotions the most as she, too, was pressured with countless expectations within the Iris Family as the second to the Head.
Being an adoptive older sister, she always looked out for you, most of them during young days where Ms. Maeven Ellis would push you to take acting classes. Though, despite the formerβs efforts of letting you choose your own path, you did eventually end up in the artistic industry just like everyone else in the Iris Family.
The Eventide was as romantic as ever, docked in the Sea of Dreams where its tranquil waters lulled guests with awe. Warm lights illuminated the expansive boat, it bathed everything in a gentle gleam of gold; its cathedral-like structure effortlessly blended reverence and spectacle, a quiet yet bold message that The Family did not hold back on this grand event.Β
Rows upon rows of guests filled the hall, a sea of fine silk and polished smilesβthough, however warm they may be, all you could feel were the weight of their stares, a sense of anticipation that settled over your shoulders, it seemed to be heavier than the gown you wore.
The cameras also didnβt help, the subtle click of the shutter every second or so, they hovered discreetly and blended within the crowd but you knew they were there, capturing every movement and emotion etched into your face.
And as you stood at the altar facing Sunday, your hands resting atop his bigger ones, you trembled slightlyβa barely noticeable crack on the surface of the glass. He must have noticed because within the next second, his hands squeezed your own, a gentle action to ground you, to serve as a reminder that only you and him mattered in this momentβnot the officiant, not the guests, just you and him. A soft, shaky breath escaped your crimson-stained lips, you mirrored Sundayβs action. A small thank you.
The officiantβs voice carried smoothly through the air, unwavering as he spoke of harmony and unity, of two individuals converging into one for the sake of something greater; you heard his words but they felt far away, almost muffled and dream-like. Your focus drifted over to the feeling of Sundayβs hands in yours, to the warmth of it, to the quiet reminder that despite everything, this moment was real
Well, at least parts of it were but you wanted to believe that softness in Sundayβs gaze as he watched you walk down the aisle earlier was genuineβthat it wasnβt a mask he prepared and wore for this ceremony but youβd be lying to yourself. To you, Sunday was the hardest book to decipher, the more you read in between lines and paragraphs, the more youβd doubt your thoughts.
β. . And by the authority vested in me, I now pronounce youββ
Your breath caught and the room seemed to still.
ββHusband and wife.β The officiant paused for a split second, letting the words linger in the air and manifest into existence. Then, he continued,
βYou may now kiss the bride.β
As his words echoed in your mind, your gaze slowly lifted to Sundayβs and for a moment, you both hesitated. He was the first to move, his head inclined towards youβeyes fluttering shutβslowly leaning in, his hands rested on either side of your waist; the quiet hum of the Dreamscape faded into the background as the space between your faces narrowed with each long second.
This was a part of the performance, you both knew that but it wasnβt something that was rehearsed, and even though you were an actress yourselfβwhere kissing co-actors came naturallyβthis felt entirely different.
You closed your eyes, heart stuttering, the traitorous beast banging against the cold bars of your chest; for a second, you wondered if Sunday could hear it but upon noticing the unreadable expression on his face, you assumed he was focused on how to approach the kiss everyone anticipatedβthe subtle pause in his breath was enough to tell you it wasnβt easy for him either.
And just as Sunday was about to seal the kiss, he gracefully lifted a wing to obscure the view, leaving everyone unaware of the small distance between you and him; it was deliberate yet to everyone else, the veil of feathers seemed natural given the way your faces were angled slightly. The perfect illusion of an elegant kiss.
βForgive me, I do not wish to make you uncomfortable in front of everyone. This . . should suffice, we do not have to go all the way.β Sunday whispered dangerously close, your knees almost buckled at the feel of his hot breath ghosting over your lips.
Your hands, which rested atop his clothed chest, curled slightly, nails digging into the hearts of your palms, βRight . .β You whispered back.
You told yourself it didnβt matter, that Sunday only thought of respecting your boundariesβas a matter of fact, you should even be grateful that he didnβt force you and yet something in your chest dipped in disappointment. Albeit small and quiet, it was significant enough to feel it within your ribcage, the low murmur of your heart.
Of course. Sunday would never force something like that and you respected him for it! But . . you couldnβt help think that he simply didnβt want to kiss you. As childish as it sounded, you were convinced.
You bit the insides of your cheeks, lids tightly pressed against your eyes, you didnβt dare take a small peak. Not when his face was barely centimetres away from your own and absolutely not when his intoxicating scent invaded your senses. The wings behind your ears rustled briefly, brushing against Sundayβs.
Slowly, the moment passed; each camera click and quiet gasps from the guests enveloped the enchanting scene at the altar. A few seconds later, his wing loweredβas graceful as everβonce again revealing you both to everyone else, and it was like the entire room breathed out a long sigh.
The guests responded instantly, applause swelled throughout the Eventide, everyone wore a smile on their faces, completely convinced by what theyβd witnessed.
You pulled away first, immediately turning to the crowd with the most genuine smile you could muster, trying to mirror everyone elseβs joyous expression.
Among the guests, you caught Robinβs gaze who sat on the front row pewβshe wore a smile like everyone else but her cerulean eyes gleamed with apology; you assumed she felt partly responsible for her brotherβs decision regarding the marriage but you never blamed her, if there was anyone to blame it would be the Dreammaster but youβd never dare utter it into existence. After all, you were just pawns in his Dreamscape.
Funnily enough, as the person who decided you and Sunday to be married, he didnβt attend today, youβve heard whispers within the Dewlight Pavilion that the Dreammaster wasnβt feeling too well these days, not that you cared about the man. You may have grew up with him around but that doesn't mean youβve warmed up to him; he still carried the same unsettling aura he had when you were a kid.
After the long awaited ceremony, everyone settled into the reception where an abundance of congratulatory greetings and hugs were given to you and Sunday; most of them came from close co-actors who youβve worked with on previous films, they also took the time to converse with him and didnβt hold back with such questions.
βOkay, this might be a bit silly to ask but who fell in love first?β Cassianβa co-actor youβve grown close withβasked with pure curiosity, his hazelnut gaze darted between the two of you, he nursed a half empty glass of SoulGlad, swishing the golden liquid within as he stood before the table you and Sunday sat on.
You briefly looked over to Sunday who already had his eyes on you. βI did,β You started, setting your gaze back to Cassian and pairing it with a small smile.
βThis is actually the first time Iβm admitting this but . . Iβve had a crush on him ever since we were kids so Iβm assuming it was me who fell in love firstβI mean, who wouldnβt, right? He was kind and caring, and from then on, my young heart knew who it wanted.β
With every word that rolled from your tongue, heat that blanketed your cheeks intensified. Obviously, everything you stated was the truth but saying it aloud in front of him was rather embarrassing even if he didnβt have a clue how real it was.
A confession veiled as a lie.
You could feel Sundayβs honeyed gaze boring into the side of your face but you kept your eyes on Cassian who animatedly cooed in response, βWell, arenβt you a lucky one, Mr. Sunday!β The brunette inclined his glass towards the two of you as if making a toast.
Sunday chuckled softly in response, uttering a small βIndeed, I am.β You ignored the stutter in your chest.
βDo you guys have a destination for the honeymoon? There are so many worlds to choose from!β
You let out a cough, the heat from your cheeks spreading down the column of your neck and onto your chest where it bloomed, βA-Ah, well! Sunday and I decided that weβll have to push back our honeymoon for a while. With the Charmony Festival approaching in less than a few months, heβd be busy with preparation and as for my schedule, itβs packed with shootsβyou should know.β
Cassian enthusiastically nodded, βThatβs right! Weβve an upcoming film togetherβI canβt believe I forgot! Well, I shouldnβt take up anymore of your time, the two of you should enjoy your first few moments as husband and wife. Haha! Iβll get going then. Oh and Iβll see you on set!β With that, the brunette excused himself and headed for the open bar.
βI wasnβt aware Mr. Cassian is going to play the lead role along with you.β Sunday curiously stated. You shrugged, βI wasnβt aware you were interested in my matters but yes, we will be in a romance film together. Why? Interested in seeing it in the theatres once it comes out, Mr. Sunday?β
He let out a humourless laugh, βI liked your little story earlier. The one you told Mr. Cassian.β
Little story. Well, little did he know how true it all was.
This was supposed to be a happy day but with the amount of times Sunday had unknowingly shattered your naΓ―ve heart into more and more pieces today alone, you werenβt certain how long youβd last in this foolish charade, and you couldnβt blame him at allβnot that you had anyone else to blame but your feelings.
βWhat can I say? Iβve been told Iβm amazing when it comes to improvising.β You didnβt meet his gaze, instead, your eyes scanned around the room, pretending to skim and scan, feigning interest in the uninteresting.
Well, at least the guests looked like they were having more fun than youβthey laughed over clinked glasses and exquisite Penaconian dishes, a genuine expression of joy painted on their alcohol tinted faces.
Sunday left the conversation at that and tended to his own glass, briefly swirling the liquid inside before taking a calculated sip; the golden beverage blanketed his tastebuds, its familiar sweetness putting his mind at ease. He wasnβt certain of the reason but he felt somewhat odd upon hearing your reply, the feeling irked him down to the bone.
Clearly, it was an uncharted territory and Sunday despised places he couldnβt controlβthe unknown and the unpredictable. He hated the thought of not knowing how to unpack his emotions.
But the real question was: Why did he feel this way? and what was the root of it? Maybe it was stress getting to him, he rarely got decent sleep and his daily schedule was always packed. Yeah, definitely stress.
Old Oak Family Manor (Reality)
A few tiring system hours later, you and Sunday were finally surrounded by pure silenceβno prying eyes, no endless questions, just silence. The two of you found yourselves inside the old Oak Family manor, a separate building from the Hotel that stood in Reality but remained just as grand and expansive.
βSo . . youβre the only one who lives here now? What about the Dreammaster?β
The manor stood like a quiet declaration of wealthβjust as youβve always remembered it to beβit gleamed like polished marble kissed by dawn, its towering windows framed with intricate carvings and draped with silken curtains.
Everything felt all too familiar and with every turn of your head, an old, tucked memory resurfaced like a bubble floating upwardsβthe curved staircase you and the twins would sit on to tell ghost stories, the expansive field outside where youβd spend afternoons running around, and . . Sundayβs room where he and Robin would βperformβ concerts .
The very room both of you stood in.
You had spent enough time in the old Oak Family manor to know that his room barely changedβsure, his toys were replaced with endless stacks of books and documents, and his bed no longer housed soft plushes but apart from those, everything was the same.
βEver since I was appointed Head, this manor was entrusted to me. I am not aware of Mr. Gopher Woodβs whereabouts nor do I question it.β
βYou donβt have company?β βI have attendants.β
You let out a snort which earned a raised brow from him, βThatβs different, Sunday. The attendants work here.β The manor used to be so lively, now it felt completely empty and a little cold; you couldnβt help but wonder if Sunday ever felt lonely, especially with a building so vastβwas he haunted by the echoes of his lone footsteps? Did he ever avoid eating in the dining room because heβd be the only one sitting at the long table?
βNevermind, disregard my last question. Though, I do have another one, are you sure youβre comfortable with me sleeping here? I mean, there are tons of other rooms in this manor.β Naturally, since you were now married to Sunday, it only made sense to reside together in the Oak Family manor, however, you didnβt expect to actually share a room with him.
βYouβre my wife, are you not? If anything, itβd only rouse suspicions from attendants about us sleeping in different rooms,β
He had a point.
Β βAnd just because our marriage stands on falsehoods does not mean I wonβt uphold my role as your husband. Iβm sure youβre aware Iβm not that kind of man.β Sunday continued. Again, he was right, he certainly wasnβt the type of person to slack off just because he was out of the spotlight and you didnβt know whether that was a blessing or a curse.
βI suggest you wash up first, it has been a long day, after all, and your clothes are in the closet.β Oh, thatβs right, you almost forgot about your belongings, thanks to the help of the Bloodhound Family, all of them were transported to the manor safe and sound; you assumed the attendants must have unpacked it all for you.
You absentmindedly nodded, trying to process the fact that you were now bound not only to Sunday but the manor as well for the rest of your lifeβthat you would come home every single night and sleep beside him.
A foreign feeling washed over your body, the feeling that would grow from the depths of your core in response to a drastic change in your life. It wasnβt unsettling nor uncomfortable per se but it was extremely hard to ignore.
Bathing beneath the warm water took a lot longer than youβd intended, the feel of it against your bare skin soothed you so much that it almost felt like someone had wrapped you in a cozy hug, one that youβve been deprived of these days.
Now, sitting on your side of the bedβthe left sideβin your silken nightie, you carefully combed your freshly dried hair, a thousand thoughts coursing through your mind and none of them were coherent.
Sure, what you were wearing was designed entirely for sleeping but Xipe above! You felt absolutely exposed; the way its flimsy straps slid down your shoulders every other minute didnβt help at all.
Even the way Sundayβs honeyed eyes widened when you walked out of the bathroom clearly meant he was taken aback by the brazenness of your attireβor the lack of it. But could you really blame yourself? Prior to tonight, you lived alone and that meant you could wear whatever you wanted to bed with no one to judge.
Setting the comb on the night stand beside you, you quickly tucked yourself beneath the ivory duvet upon hearing the shower turn off; if you hid yourself inside the bed, it would make you feel less exposed to Sunday, you pulled on the duvet βtil it covered all the way up to the base of your neck.
Yeah, this seemed about right.
He stepped out of the bathroom, clad in a pair of matching pyjamas, hair and wings damp, it took him only about three steps before he stopped in his tracks, gaze fixated on you.
βIs the temperature too cold for your liking . . ?β Sunday stood there dumbfounded at the silly sight before himβyou, on the bed with just your head and neck sticking out from under the duvet.
βNo, itβs perfectly fine. Why do you ask?β You shook your head, blinking up at him. He replied with a small sigh, βIf this is about your . . attire then rest assured I do not mind but if you feel uncomfortable, I can offer you a top to wear over.β He immediately looked away, feigning a cough.
His reply may have been nonchalant but you caught how the tips of his ears flushed a deep pink hue; obviously he, too, was as embarrassed as you were, only he was better at hiding it.
Once again, you shook your head, βI donβt want to bother you with such trivial matters. Besides, Iβll be going to sleep soon.β
Sunday wordlessly nodded before turning off the lights and proceeding to walk towards the shared bedβtowards you.
As darkness filled the entire room in an instant, you swallowed thickly, trying to calm your poor, poor heart as his footsteps echoed closer than the last; you closed your eyes as he lifted the duvetβa breeze of cool air momentarily enveloping your bare skinβhe slipped inside and the mattress dipped beneath his weight, it made you realise just how small of a space there was between your bodies.
Not enough to have your bare arm brushing against his clothed one but enough to feel warmth that radiated from him.
βPardon me but would you have trouble sleeping if I turned on a lamp?β Sunday whispered into the darkness.
βI donβt mind but are you not going to sleep? Itβs well past midnight.β You opened your eyes and inclined your head, facing him.
βIβll be writing for a bit as sleep has not yet caught up to me.β The bedside lamp turned on with a soft click which immediately illuminated his half of the bed, casting a warm gentle glow on his softened features. You replied with a wordless nod before turning your back to him and letting the faint sound of pen and paper sully you into endless clouds of dreams.
A couple of pages and half a system hour later, Sunday finally looked up from the inked pages of his book. Curious, he glanced over at your sleeping form which remained with your back towards him, he watched the rhythmic rise and fall with every shallow breath.
Compared to earlier, more of your torso peeked from beneath the duvet, he noticed how the flimsy strap of your nightie had fallen from your shoulder and took the initiativeβafter whispering an apology for his brazen behaviourβto lean over and fix it.
Sunday let out a sigh, he pulled the shared duvet upwards to cover your shoulder before returning to his side of the bed.
For some reason, he couldnβt help but feel that you held disdain for himβand honestly? Rightfully so because truthfully speaking, he had foolishly roped you into an eternal duty without your consent, without considering how you would feel about the entire idea. It wasnβt like him to involve others in such serious matters, and if given the opportunity to shoulder the problem alone, he wouldβve done so in a heartbeat.
Sunday gazed down at his book once more, catching a glimpse of glimmering gold wrapped around a digit of his left handβhis wedding band, it shone quietly beneath the warm glow of the lamp. He brought his hand up to examine the piece of jewellery, honeyed gaze following each curve of the intricate pattern engraved on it. Despite its small size, it sat heavy on his finger and whether it was the weight of burden or something more, he had no idea.
Funnily enough, never in a million years did he think heβd be married before Robin; sure, he was the older twin but relationships and marriage rarely crossed his mind, and as embarrassing as it was, flirting definitely wasnβt for him either.
Moment of Morning Dew
βSo what youβre suggesting is a date?β
βIndeed.β
βWow, I didnβt know you were quite the romantic, Oak Family Head.β
βTo be frank, it wasnβt my idea. It was merely suggested to me and I think itβd be appropriate to make occasional appearances in public as husband and wife.β
Well, there goes romance out of the window. So it was tied to duty after all, and here you were thinking Sunday acted out of his own will for once but if there was anyone to blame the feeling of slight disappointment, it would be none other than you and your naΓ―ve heart.
It had only been a little over a month after the marriage yet youβve already been met with disappointments and you hated yourself for feeling that way because it wasnβt even Sundayβs faultβhe was only upholding his role but you? You had mistaken his actions for reality.
The chaste forehead kisses whenever he visited you on set paired with a humble bouquet of flowers, the endearments he called you in front of your co-actors, holding your handβall these were initiated by him and every single time, like a fool, you had mistaken it for something sincere.
How ironic that between the two of you, Sunday would be the better actor. Youβve paid him a visit countless times in Dewlight Pavilion when you werenβt needed on setβbrought him food, offered him a shoulder massage whenever he seemed visibly stressed, and even tried convincing him to take a breather but you were rigid and hesitant.
Today just happened to be one of those days where you visited him. As usual, you were as stiff as a board and your words barely held any sincerity in them, as if you merely read off a script.Β
And maybe thatβs why he took the initiative to lead because he had sensed your hesitancy regarding everything.
βWhere are we headed?β You raised a brow, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.
Sunday gathered every document on his table and stacked them neatly in a pile before placing it to the side, βAideen Park. I heard there was a small event happening there and I thought we could pay a visit.β
Moment of Golden Hour
Aideen Park was livelier than normal, people lined up for several reasonsβfood trucks, photobooths, and even a mini ferris wheel ride. Naturally, the band which usually performed at the heart of the Park gained quite a crowd as well, they played an upbeat melody to fit the joyous atmosphere. Several booths and signage within the vicinity was enough to deduce that this public event was run by SoulGlad with their iconic logo plastered everywhere.
βHm? Did SoulGlad release a new flavour?β You fell into a step beside Sunday, eyes fixated on a stall where a staff happily gave away freebies and judging by the unfamiliar packaging of SoulGlad in his hand, it had to be a new flavour.
He nodded, jutting out his right arm which you wordlessly held on to, βIndeed, SoulGlad has released a new flavour called Charmony to honour the Charmony Festival. I figured Iβd acquire several bottles for Robin.β
You hummed at his reply. It was nice knowing he still thought about his sister even in her absence, at heart, Sunday was truly just an older brother taking care of his family and it warmed your heart more than anything.
Youβve always wondered how he felt when Robin left Penacony; from what you could remember, it was a crucial turning point in their lives as well as yoursβher music career was taking off, Sunday was training to be Bronze Melodia, and you had just secured your first lead role.
βHave you had the chance to try the new flavour?β You asked, shaking the thoughts away.
At your question, he shook his head, βI have heard from several people that it has its own unique twist to it. Now, I know we have personal security around but itβs best to stay close to me with this many people present.β
With his free arm, he adjusted your hand on his clothed bicep, allowing you to hold him better. βItβs not like Iβm going to run away.β You murmured, ignoring the blanket of heat settling on your cheeks.
There had already been a few instances where you had held Sunday by his bicep like this or his hand but youβve never gotten used to the feeling of his body pressed closely against your own.
Even through the fabric of his blazer, merely touching him seared your skin like a thousand flamesβit felt like it was forbidden to do so yet at the same time, you couldnβt quite pull away even if you wanted to.
Sunday led the two of you to a food truck lined with customers and on the way there, you were both excitedly greeted by many event goers and passerbys, with some even coming up to you for autographs and photos.
You only managed to get through three autographs and two photos before Sunday came up behind you, a chivalrous hand hovering on the small of your back as he gently ushered you away, a wing curled around the back of your head, βWe should get going before people start shoving one another to get signatures and such.β
Nodding, you smiled apologetically before bidding them good bye, βIt was nice seeing you all! I hope everyone enjoys this SoulGlad event!β
βPardon my intrusion but I noticed you were getting quite flustered so I took matters into my own hands.β Sunday apologised, not realising his handβwhich rested on your lower backβhad protectively snaked around your waist, it pulled you closer to him, effectively turning your legs into jello. If it wasnβt for his hold, you wouldβve already kissed the grounds of Aideen Park.
Oh god, you hoped he hadnβt noticed how your torso shook with a small shudder. You feigned a cough, βT-Thatβs quite okay, Sunday. Thank you. What did you want to ordββ
βMr and Mrs Sunday! How lovely to see Penaconyβs harmonious couple in our humble event!β One of the SoulGlad staff at the food truck rushed over to the back of the line where you and Sunday stood, effectively gaining attention from customers in the queue. They turned around and whispered amongst themselves, not-so-subtly pointing at you both.
Sunday greeted the Pepeshi staff with a smile, βAh, hello. Thank you for having us.βΒ
βAre you two seeking to order? I can take it in advance so the two of you wonβt have to wait!β He excitedly spoke, the fluff ball atop his head vigorously swinging back and forth.
In unison, you and Sunday both shook your heads, declining his kind offer, βWe shanβt. She and I are here as humble customers, we donβt mind waiting a little while. It would be unfair for those who are before us.β
βNo such thing! Mr. Sunday and Mrs are our esteemed guests! You know what? Iβll go ahead and get two servings of our best sellerβClockie Pizza!β Before the two of you could humbly decline once more, the Pepeshi had already taken off towards the food truck, excitement budding with every step he took.
Within a few minutes, he came running back with two servings of Clockie Pizza on a paper plate, steam which radiated from the slices indicated it was freshly taken from the oven.
βHere you are! Two slices for our very special customers, enjoy!β Both of you thanked the Pepeshi staff as he handed the plate over to Sunday, he gave the two of you another excited smile before skipping off towards the food truck. You and Sunday could only exchange lopsided smiles, not really knowing what to make out of the situation; as much as you felt bad, you were pretty hungry so you were absolutely more than thankful.
After eating, the two of you found yourselves in one of the photobooths (Embarrassingly, Sunday had noticed you were staring intently at them while you were eating and asked if you wanted to go). Naturally, the booth had limited space inside which meant you two had to squeeze yourselves on the benchβarms and legs flushed against one another.
You tried not to think about how your wing momentarily brushed his own, his ivory feathers tickling yours; Haloviansβ wings were a sensitive area and one couldnβt just reach out and have a feel of it, many Halovians treat their wings as the most important part of their body and consider it an intimate gesture if they willingly let someone touch it.
βHow does one operate this?β He drew the crimson curtain on his left side to close off the booth before turning to you with a hint of confusion on his face. At his question, youΒ mirrored his expression, brows drawn together, βHave you not tried one before?βNevermind. We simply press this button on the screen to get started and once it starts, the camera takes three pictures so we have to think of different poses for each frame.β
βAnd oh, itβs timed so efficiency is needed.β
βSeems quite pressuring, no?β Sunday humourlessly laughed. This was his first time trying out a photobooth machine and the thought of coming up with three different poses in a span of mere seconds . . He couldnβt even think of one off the top of his head.
βOh? Is the Oak Family Head intimidated by a photobooth? Well, if you ever feel stuck, you can go ahead and copy my poses. Ready?β You glanced over at him who only nodded in response, honeyed pupils gleaming beneath the harsh lights of the booth.
Without another word, you leaned over andΒ pressed the button in the middle before quickly getting into a poseβthe classic smile with a peace sign.
On the other hand, Sunday blinked as he watched numbers on the screen count down. 3. Ah, what pose should he do? 2. Maybe just a smile? Would that be too formal? 1. He quickly looked over to you to imitate your pose but before he could even get his hand in position, the camera brightly flashed indicating that the first photo had been taken.
βQuick! Finish off the other half of this heart!β
As the screen began counting down once more, Sunday hesitantly mirrored your gesture with his left hand. Four fingers curl like so . . and how does the thumb go? Ah, straight down at an angle. Then, place it against her hand. While he mused over how to complete the hand heart, the camera flashed once again. Another photo taken, another frame where he wasnβt ready. Why are photobooths so hard?
βWhy donβt we just do a smile?βΒ
Finally, something he could get behind. The two of you instinctively squeezed closer, inclining your heads towards one another with smiles on your face, then, the camera flashed. Sunday let out a soft sigh, itβs as if weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
A small laugh escaped your lips as the two of you exited the booth, βNot bad for your first photobooth experience, huh?β You didnβt notice how heated your skin had become βtil the air outside pressed against you like an icy envelope.
βYou are teasing.β Sunday stared at you with a deadpan expression which only pulled another laugh.
The small machine whirred to life, producing two copies of the strip, you took them both and handed one over to him, βThis one is yours, Mr. Oak Family Head.β
You took the time to examine each frame and couldnβt help but crack a smile at how clueless he looked in the first two photos; the first one was him blankly glancing over at you while on the second one, he wore a confused expression while glancing down at his half of the hand heart.
As for the third photo, you didnβt want to look at it for too long. Not because it was hideous or any of that sortβquite the oppositeβbut because both of you looked like an actual happy couple, a pair who loved one another. You swallowed thickly.
βWhere shall we head next? Up for a ferris wheel ride?β Tucking the photo strip inside the pocket of your jacket, you looked up at Sunday with a calculated smile on your face. His gaze lingered on you for a second longer as if to search for something but nonetheless, he nodded.
The ferris wheel carriage was quite small, meaning either you and Sunday would have to squeeze togetherβagainβon one side of the carriage or sit on opposite sides; obviously, both of you opted for the latter, which despite facing one another, at least gave you room to breathe.
You avoided fully facing him by slightly angling yourself sideways to gaze beyond the carriage; the ride wasnβt as grand as the one in Clock Studios Theme ParkΒ but it was able to reveal a great area of Golden Hour once at the top.
Below, Penaconians went on about their day as usualβwhether it be shopping, working or simply taking a leisurely stroll in the Moment, you watched as they led their own lives, wondering what it felt like to be a normal Penaconian.
But what did normal mean for you, exactly? You wished you had the answer.
Sunday knew it was rude to stare but he simply couldnβt bring himself to stop either. Earlier, when you were examining the photo strip, he had noticed the solemn expression on your face; how the corners of your lips sunk ever so slightly and the faint gleam of sadness in your eyes.
A wave of regret hit him once more, the same way it had done for the past monthβhard. And now as he watched you observe the Dreamscape below, he couldnβt help but feel responsible for your sadness. There had been many instances where he had caught you with a somber expression but he never dared address it, though now seemed like a great opportunity.
βAre you quite alright?β
Turning your head to him, you drew your brows together, βOf course. Why wouldnβt I be?β
Sunday pressed his lips in a thin line, βYou . . can always talk to me. As a friend.β
You chuckled, adjusting your body so you could face him fully, βIs the Oak Family Head missing his Bronze Melodia days?β
Deflectingβthatβs what you were doing, a habit he never once liked from you but as concerned as he was, he didnβt press any further. Doing so would most likely only worsen whatever you housed inside your chest, and he didnβt want to be the cause of that. Maybe some day youβd finally open up to him about all your worries and feelings but for now, heβd wait even if it meant waiting for eons.
Moment of Sol
βAh, Mr. Sunday! Lovely to see you here once again. As you can see, weβre about to start filming so itβs best to keep quiet. Other than that, feel free to watch.β The directorβwho he had come to know as Thaddeusβgleefully whispered before heading to his seat. The former wasnβt old, most likely in his early forties but he did don several silvery strands on his head along with a full beard.
Sunday made his way over to a quiet corner behind all the film crew with a decent view of the scene unfolding before him. The set was a large bedroom dimmed to convey a sultry atmosphere, in the middle sat a large bed draped in crimson sheets where you and Cassian were positioned. Judging by this, he could easily deduce that the scene you were filming was rather intimateβit was a romance film after all.
During the previous times he had visited you, the scenes he witnessed were more . . family friendly. Scenes where Celestineβthe character you playedβmerely caught up with her friends in a coffee shop and all of that sort; there was one that Sunday particularly took a liking to, where you and Cassian argued back and forthβan intense quarrel between two lovers.
It reminded him how much of an amazing actress you were, he didnβt want to admit it but that scene moved him enough to make his eyes water, he could only imagine what it would look like on the big screen. But this scene was entirely different, Sunday had never seen you act intimately before and heβd be lying if he said he wasnβt curious.
βQuiet on set! Pictures up! Roll sound! Roll camera! Marker . . and action!β
Clap!
The slateβs sound echoed throughout the entire set and Sunday watched as you and Cassian instantly got into character. He sucked in a breath as the two of you slowly inched closer to one another, sealing each otherβs lips in a heated kiss.
Soft, wet sounds filled the room, the kiss deepened and turned into something less innocentΒ and for a brief moment, Sunday forgot he was in a set, and that the scene before him was scripted.
He swallowed thickly, shifting his weight from one foot to another as Cassian roamed his hands all over your body, even going as far as raking his palms along your clothed chest and the area behind your wings. A dainty whimper slipped past your kiss-bitten slips in between breaths, followed by a whisper of his name.Β
Something strange bubbled within Sundayβs chest, he was well aware everything was scripted but seeing another man brazenly touch you with lust and fervour, and hearing you breathe out someone elseβs name did not feel right at all. Was he jealous? No. But he wasnβt entirely fine with this either.Β
Nonetheless, Sunday didnβt have the right to have a say on these matters so he kept quiet and continued watching how Cassian eagerly shoved his tongue past your lips like a hungry beast. He didnβt even realise his jaw had tightened and the tips of his fingers had dug into the hearts of his palms βtil the Thaddeus yelled βCut!β ultimately breaking immersion. The two of you pulled away from one another, breathless and hair mussed.
βCassian, remember to angle your arm slightly or else we wonβt be able to see her faceββΒ
As the director gave him instructions, you managed to spot a familiar face within the small crowd of film crew, his golden halo shone lightly beneath the artificial set lightingβSunday.
Xipe above, you almost forgot he was going to pay you a visit today, not that you didnβt want him to come, itβs just that having him watch an erotic scene with yourself and Cassian felt odd. You were embarrassed, to say the least. As an actress, you took yourself out of comfort zones countless times for different roles and they were no easy feat but who knew youβd be struggling to act in an intimate scene before Sunday?
With a lopsided smile, you shyly waved at him to which he responded with an incline of his head. Whether he had a smile on his face or not, you werenβt sure, you couldnβt see clearly beyond the lighting.
Sunday, in fact, did not have a smile on his face
It was childish and idiotic to sulk over such a minor thing and if he could stop his chest from tightening weirdly, he would have done so already but he couldnβt, and now a subtle frown blanketed his face. He tried to look at the bright sideβhow talented you were at acting and how proud he was that youβve come so far but god he was powerless to his own thoughts.
βAlright, from the top! Sound! Cameras! Marker and . . action!β
Clap!
Again, the entire room snapped into place, including you and Cassian. For the second time, Sunday watched in silence as the two of you passionately made out once more, this time the scene escalated to him pushing you down on the mattress below, lips still locked onto your own, and hands pinned against the pillows.
Even with your eyes closed and even with Cassian smothering you like there was no tomorrow, you could feel the heat of Sundayβs gaze from beyond the cameras and lightsβthe intensity of it. Getting into the zone was second nature to you yet you couldnβt shake off the nagging thought that he was watching you, it felt like you were cheating right in front of his face; Sunday probably didnβt mind at all but still.
This went on for a few more minutes until Thaddeus was satisfied with the outcome and wrapped up the scene, βActors, we need you in a wardrobe change and can we please rearrange lighting on the set for the next scene?β
With that, you stood up from the bed and walked over to Sunday who greeted you with a small smile, βHey, Iβm glad youβre here.β You mirrored his smile before loosely wrapping your arms around his waist. A simple performance in front of everyone. He did the same and placed a chaste kiss on the crown of your head.
βYou did well, my love.β
Your heart stuttered.
βMm, really? Iβm glad you think so.β
βWell, I shanβt take up any more of your time. Mr. Thaddeus did mention a wardrobe change for you, right?β Sunday slightly pulled back, a warm smile on his face as he gazed down at you. Ah, you wished he stayed for a little longer even though embarrassment ate you alive in his presenceΒ but alas, he was a busy man, so you simply nodded,
βIβll see you around?β The corners of your lips curled into a smile.
He hummed, he gave you another chaste kiss, this time on your forehead before completely letting go of you. Oh, god. Was it merely your imagination or was he acting extra . . touchy? You wouldnβt even dream of putting Sunday and touchy in the same sentenceβthey were like two magnets with the same side that repelled one another but his actions proved otherwise. Or maybe you were highly delusional.
Before he could walk away any further, you called out to him, βSunday?β He turned around, an expectant look painted on his face.
βI . .β Love you? Was that what you were going to say? There was no harm in that, right? Right? Come to think of it, neither of you had ever uttered those wordsβwere you about to start now? Technically, the two of you were married and expressing love to one another was normal. God, why were you even overthinkingβ
Whatever.
βI love you.β
Sundayβs wings momentarily rustled, a hint of shock washed over his face, albeit subtle, you caught on. His chest tightened but it wasnβt the same feeling as earlier, it didnβt hurt, instead, it felt like a dainty butterfly fluttering inside his ribcage. He stared at you momentarily, the rush of everyone else around fading into the background, his breaths turned shallow and slightly uneven. Was he sick?
βI . . love you, too.β And without another word, he left.
Fake. Fake. Fake. Fake!
You reminded yourself this marriage was fake and so was his response but your heart believed otherwise because now it pounded against the bars of your ribs, it wanted to leap out and find comfort in the warmth of his palms. Heat spread from your cheeks, along the column of your neck, and all the way down to your chestβit bloomed like a fiery flower, its blazing petals hungry for more.Β
The urge to tell Sunday as soon as possible settled in your heart.
The night before the Charmony Festival, Old Oak Family Manor (Reality)
Unfortunately, with both your schedules tightly packed, you rarely saw Sunday within the past weekβonly some nights during ungodly hours where he carefully slipped next to you in bed but other than that, no words were exchanged, and as much as you wanted to talk to him, exhaustion weighed on your body. And as soon as you were enveloped by the softness of the bed, it immediately lulled you into a deep sweet dream.
Tonight wasnβt any different, you came home to yet another empty houseβsave for the attendantsβwithout Sunday and frankly, you were worried he wasnβt getting the proper rest he needed. You did leave him a couple of messages earlier between your shoots simply asking how he was but he never replied to them, though that wasn't surprising given how close the festival was.
The shared bed felt a lot colder and bigger as you slipped beneath the covers, you turned to face Sundayβs side, stretching out an arm as if to reach for him only to be met with emptiness. A small sigh slipped past your lips, you silently prayed to Xipe that THEY would answer your wishes to see him soon.Β
For now, you closed your eyes and went to sleep.
11 system hours later
Riββng!
βRinβg!
Ring!
At the sound of your phone, you stirred awake in bed, sleep still weighed heavy on your body. Was that your alarm? You didnβt remember setting one last night . . Nonetheless, you slowly opened your eyes and reached for the device atop the wooden nightstand, bringing it to your face. You blinked a few times, doing your best to adjust the blur of your vision to see better.
Mr. Oti Alfalfa
Huh? Why was the Alfalfa Family Head calling you? As if your entire body was doused in icy water, you quickly shot up, fingers raked through your mussed hair as you answered, βH-Hello?β
βAh, it seems youβve finally woken up, Miss.β
βMr. Oti Alfalfa! My sincere apologies, it had been a long night . . May I ask why youβre calling?β You rubbed your temples, looking at the wall clock to check the timeβ11 system hours?! Youβve been asleep for 11 system hours? Just how tired were you last night? Though, with the weight of sleep on you, it did feel like you slept for quite a while, almost like a never ending dream.
βThe Family has cleared your schedule for today, we require your presence at the Dewlight Pavilion right this moment. There are important matters to be discussed.β
At the mention of The Familyβs residence, you looked over to your right. No Sunday, an empty space. Seeing as how they required your presence, that meant they asked for him too, right? He mustβve been at the Pavilion already but why didnβt he wake you up from your sleep?
There were a thousand questions that ran through your mind regarding the whole situation but what could they possibly need to discuss with you? They even cleared your schedule which meant it had to be something very serious, not to mention how you could sense the urgency in old Otiβs tone as he spoke of important matters.Β
It made you somewhat uneasy.
βAlright. I will be there in a few minutes.β
With that, you quickly got dressed and headed for the Dreamscape.
Moment of Morning Dew
The Dewlight Pavilion housed more members of The Family than usual, its entrance had at least six Bloodhound Family security officers guarding the doors, and the inside wasnβt any better. What was going on? Today was the Charmony Festival, right? So why was almost everyone present in the Pavilion? You walked down its long halls, each step taken heavier than the last.
There was a slight tension in the air, you felt it and it made your stomach churn; you noticed how some attendants gazed at you as if you were some kind of criminal.Β
Was . . something wrong? Nonetheless, you ignored them and kept walking βtil you reached the Council Chamber.
Inside, gathered four Family Heads, they gathered at the heart of the chamber, sitting around a vast circular table. Robin was also present but where was Sunday? Shouldnβt he be present as well?Β
β. . May I ask what this is all about?β Your brows furrowed, a small frown forming on your lips; you looked over at Robin who only gave you a solemn expression, even the look on your adoptive motherβs face was hard to explain.
βAre you aware of what has transpired in Penacony?β Oti Alfalfa spoke up.
Slowly, you made your way over to situate yourself next to Robin. βNo . .Β I have been asleep and only woke up from your call. Did something terrible happen in the Dreamscape?β You felt asking that question would do more harm than good but there had to be a clear reason as to why they needed you here.
The atmosphere was unbearable. Every Head, including Robin wore an unreadable expression, itβs as if all of them were in on some kind of secret and no one dared to inform you about it. Sundayβs absence in this meeting made you all the more nervous. All of them shared strange looks with one another before Oti Alfalfa spoke up once again,
β. . The Oak Family Head and the Dreammaster had committed the highest act of treasonβnot only to The Family but to the entirety of Penacony. Sunday usurped the Harmony and revived Ena The Order to use THEIR power to create an eternal dream paradise.β
You didnβt know what to say. Was there even anything appropriate to say?Β
It didnβt feel real at all, you were hoping they were merely playing a sick, elaborate prank on you but the look on their faces proved otherwise. Old Otiβs words reached your ears the same way nightmares didβfragmented, disjointed, and absolutely impossible to process all at once.
Sunday. Treason. Eternal dream paradise.
No. That wasnβt the Sunday you knew, he couldnβt have possibly done something like that, not the man who had spent most of his life looking out for othersβputting their needs before his. It felt contradictory to everything he was. But did it really? Your mind scrambled for reason and context, for some kind of missing piece that would make everything make sense but there was nothing.Β
Among the million of questions, your mind raised another: What exactly had your marriage been for?Β
You stood with him before all of Penacony yet all this time he secretly worked with the Dreammaster to dismantle the very concept you and he were assigned to upholdβHarmony. A deep, aching sorrow settled beneath your ribs.
βRightfully, the former Oak Family Head was imprisoned but it has come to our attention that he had managed to flee from prison, he is now deemed a wanted fugitive. We asked you to join this meeting because we have a few questions regarding your husband.β Flee from prison? How? And who aided him? A part of you was relieved that Sunday managed to flee from The Familyβs wrath but you were also scared of what he might face once they found him.
You knew what was coming next.
Maeven Ellis parted her crimson-stained lips, she still held onto that unreadable expression, βOh, Triple-Faced Soul, please sear her tongue and palms with a hot iron, so that she will not be able to fabricate lies and make false vows.β
βEveryone in this room is aware regarding the status of your marriage with the former Oak Family Head, orchestrated to refute rumours within the Dreamscape. Were you an accomplice to him and the Dreammaster? Was your marriage merely a disguise to direct Penaconyβs attention from their dark schemes?β
You shook your head, βNo. I was only aware that our marriage was a solution against those rumours.β
Why were they asking you this? Each Family Head had already agreed to the Dreammasterβs proposal of having you and Sunday marry one another, why was Oti Alfalfa acting as if he wasnβt in favour of the proposal?
βDid you have a hand at helping the former Oak Family Head escape?β
Once again, you shook your head, βNo. As I mentioned earlier, I just woke up. I came home from a long shoot last night and went to bed as soon as I could.β
βDid the former Oak Family Head tell you of his schemes?β
You were getting sick of this, twice youβve already told them you werenβt aware of the Dreammaster and Sundayβs plans, why were they so insistent you had a hand at their schemes? Your motherβout of all peopleβknew youβd never get involved with something like that. Sure, you had the third highest ranking in the Iris Family but you were merely an actress and stayed out of The Familyβs business.
βNo.β
Oti Alfalfa nodded, briefly glancing at the golden band around your finger, βThat is all but let me tell you this, once The Family finds out you have made contact without any notice or you are actively helping the former Oak Family Head hide, you will be met with punishment for aiding and abetting. This applies to you as well, Miss Robin.β
He didnβt have to verbally say it yet you knew between those words he spoke, he wanted to remind you that The Family was always watching.
After being dismissed by Old Oti, you headed straight to Golden Hour to clear your headβyou still couldnβt wrap your head around the whole incident. Did he really manage to revive a dead Aeon? The one that Xipe assimilated? The severity of the entire thing was beyond you and there was no easy way to process all this.
Moment of Golden Hour
βYou know, Sunny, wonβt it be better to bid farewell to her instead of staring at her poster like a total creep?βΒ
βThat implies we wonβt see each other again and I do not intend to keep it that way. Even so, I simply cannot bring myself to face her like this even with a disguise. Itβs far too risky, Wonweek. I am a fugitive, after all.β
Amidst the glittering luxuries, billboards, and rush of people in the Moment, Sundayβdisguised as an Intellitronβstood before an expansive poster of you at Oti Mall, his honeyed gaze traced over your features once, twice, thrice as if to engrave them in his mind.
He was aware the poster was merely an advertisement for a skin care brand yet you looked extremely happy in it and he could only wish the same for you now. With the amount of Bloodhound Family security patrolling around, he assumed news had already broken out regarding his escape, and that you were also aware of itβof everything he had done.
The PepeshiβWonweekβwho stood next to him hummed, βOh, really? Not even when sheβs right there crying?"
Sunday immediately turned to his companion, βWhat?β He followed the Pepeshiβs line of sight, it took a few seconds before finally spotting your familiar figureβyou sat on a bench in front of Clock Diner, arms crossed over your chest, seemingly staring into nothing. Even though you wore a hat and sunglasses, Sunday could still tell it was you.
βW-Well, maybe not crying but she certainly doesnβt look okay to me.β
βStay here . .β Sunday absentmindedly murmured, his eyes remained fixated on you, and as if his feet had a mind of its own, he started walking towards you.
βHey! What the heck happened to βI simply cannot bring myself to face her like thisβ!β Wonweek called out to him, mocking his voice but didnβt bother interfering, he figured the two of you needed to talk, even if it was indirectly.
This wasnβt Sundayβs plan at all, he wasnβt supposed to approach you yet here he was merely three steps away; he had to remind himself not to get carried away with things and that he had a disguise which meant he was a stranger to you.
βPardon my intrusion, Miss but are you okay?β
At the sound of an unfamiliar voice, you immediately snapped out of your thoughts and shifted your gaze to its owner who stood to your left, just beyond your line of sightβit was an Intellitron clad in a long plum coloured dress. Despite their unmoving facial features, you could sense the hint of concern in their voice.
βO-Oh, um! Yes, of course thank you for asking . . Apologies for my rudeness! Did you want to sit down?β You feigned a cough and adjusted the sunglasses atop your nosebridge before scooting to the edge of the bench to make room. The Intellitron murmured a small thank you as she sat down, smoothing the skirt of her dress.
βMy apologies if you were taken aback by my brazenness.β
βNot at all! Iβm grateful to have someone look out for me, Miss . . ?β
βWonweek.β The Intellitron replied.
βMiss Wonweek! What a lovely name . . Thank you, again. Itβs just that itβs been a long day and, uh, a . . dear friend of mine has gone somewhere far, far away from me, and I am not certain when I will see him next. Or if I will ever see him again.β You tried your best to stabilize your voice but as each word slipped past your lips, they trembled harder than the last, and the only way to calm yourself down was to caress the golden band wrapped around your ring finger.
βThis friend . . he seems quite important to you, no?β
Letting out a shaky sigh, you nodded, βHeβs someone I hold very dear to my heart and all I wish for is to talk to him. Iβve been meaning to tell him something.β Sunday swallowed thickly, what could that something possibly be? Heβd rather not get his hopes up.
βYour friend may have gone off somewhere far away but I am certain once the time is right, destiny will intertwine your paths once more.β
βOf course. And should the path he chooses not include me in the future, I can only hope itβs a path where he is genuinely happy. I am willing to sacrifice that.β After all, your ties with The Family would make the situation difficultβOti Alfalfa had already warned you earlier that they had eyes and ears everywhere.
βI may not know your friend well but I am certain he would not want a future without you in it.β
3 months and 3 weeks later, Consternation Starzone, Planarcadia
βUgh, come on! You already picked the last movie, Stelle! Let me pick one for movie night this time!β
As Sunday walked into the hotel room, he was immediately met with a scene of his bickering companions, however, one of them remained seated in a corner with his arms folded across his chest and eyes closed.
βGreat, Sundayβs here! He can back me up on this one! Can you please convince her to watch this movie?β The pink haired woman βwho he had come to know as Miss March 7thβeagerly walked over to him and shoved her phone before his face, presenting an opened browser tab for an overview of a movie.
Love and Devotion (1h 49m): Estranged childhood best friends find their way back to one another which results in a trip down memory lane and a blossoming love. Faced with obstacles from their contrasting paths, they navigate through difficulties together, ultimately challenging their relationship.
Cast: Mr. Cassian Noctis, Mrs.β
She swiftly pulled away her phone before he could read any further, an expectant look in her eyes. That was your movie, March 7th wanted to watch your movieβhe made a promise to himself heβd make time to watch it once it comes out but ever since he boarded the Express, it had only been missions after missions. Though, he was updated enough to know that it received a lot of love not only in Penacony but across the cosmos as well.
βDo you even know what youβre asking of him? Thatβs his wife in that movie!β Stelleβthe other woman March argued with earlierβscratched the back of her head, whisper-yelling the other half of her sentence. She sat on the edge of the bed, a pillow tucked beneath her arms.
The latter quickly connected the dots, her eyes wide with realisation, βO-Oh! Um! You know what, I think we can go with the movie you picked!β
It wasnβt a secret among the Crew that Sunday was married but they figured the topic was sensitive to him as he barely talked about you, even the mention of Penacony had him wearing a solemn expression.
Though it was the complete opposite for him, Sunday wanted to talk about youβabout his homeworld but he was afraid doing so would only get his hopes up for nothing. For the past few months he had been hoping to at least get a glimpse of you during his journey around the cosmos, you were an actress after all, you occasionally went on film press tours.
βI donβt mind at all. I had the opportunity to watch behind the scenes while they were shooting and I was more than intrigued to see the finished piece.β Sunday shook his head, he handed March their room keycard she gave him earlier before sitting next to his dark haired companion on the couch.
βReally? Thatβs so cool! Ugh, I wish I could get her autograph! You know, I was quite surprised when news broke out that she was engaged! Iβve also seen some of the wedding photos and you two looked absolutely stunning! Anyway, how about you Dan Heng? Do you have any movies you wanna watch?β March turned to the man next to Sunday.
Dan Heng opened his eyes and slowly shook his head, βIβm okay with any movie you guys pick.β
After a few more minutes of going back and forth, all lights were turned off and everyone eventually settled on Love and Devotion. Sunday was the most intriguedβeven more than March 7th who initially convinced all to watch the movie; he knew of your acting prowess yetΒ he was completely speechless.
Every single time you appeared on screen, his heart seemed to skip a beat or two, he chalked it up to not having seen your face for a while which is why excitement enveloped him every now and then.Β
However, half way through the movie while a particular scene playedβthe scene he vividly remembered watching on setβa foreign feeling enveloped his entire body, a hint of heat and something more.
Subtly, Sunday looked around to see his companionsβ reactions, March 7th and Stelle who were sitting on the bed were unfazed by the escalating scene of the movie whereas Dan Heng merely scrolled on his dimmed phone, a slight blanket of pink dusting his cheeks.
With the volume turned all the way up, wet kissing sounds filled all four walls of the hotel room, it made Sundayβs stomach churn in a way that had him digging the tips of his fingers on his palms.
You and Cassian were only kissing but the intensity and lewd noises you made sent an icy shudder down his spine.
This wasnβt good.
A quiet, shaky sigh left his lips as his pants tightened with each passing second. Oh god, was he . . aroused? He didnβt remember feeling this way when he was on setβquite the oppositeβso why now?
Sure, the room was dark enough to hide his growing erection but it wasnβt exactly ideal to experience one around three people. Besides, it was uncouth and he needed to leave. Now.
Sunday immediately stood up, gaining curious glances from everyone else, he tried to subtly cover pants, βUh, I-I need to get something in Dan Heng and Iβs room. Feel free to keep watching.β He didnβt bother waiting for anyone else to respond and immediately headed for the door.
As he stepped out onto the hallway, he breathed out a sigh of relief, at least there wasnβt anyone else around the corridors this late at night. Carefully, he walked towards the shared room, trying his best to avoid further friction in his pants or else it would be a very embarrassing moment for himβit wasΒ humiliating enough to walk with a weird gait, anything more and heβd bury himself in the ground.
Thankfully, Sunday reached the room which he hastily opened with the keycard tucked inside his pocket, he swiftly slipped inside and sat on the edge of his bed with his eyes closed.
Silence settled in the air, it was accompanied by his heavy, uneven breaths as he tried to calm his racing thoughts. He felt extremely filthyβto think of you in such a lustful light without your knowledge, it was beyond unmannerly.Β
βF-Forgive me . . for my vulgar thoughts and for what I am about to do.β
In the blink of an eye, Sunday found himself inside the bathroom, door locked and back pressed against it.
Dizziness washed over him and embarrassment ate away at his feverish skin as he reached for the waistband of his pants, he hastily pulled it down with his underwear, a sharp hiss leaving his lips, cock slapping against his lower abdomen. It wore a deep blush of pink and oozed with pearlescent pre-cum, he wondered how his cock would look against your face while you licked and sucked at it.
The soft fabric shamelessly pooled around his ankles which completely exposed his lower half, the cool air against his legs left an icy shudder. Sunday brought the hem of his shirt to his face, biting down at it so it didnβt get in the way.
He wrapped a trembling hand around the base and squeezed, a loud moan immediately spilling from his lips, pre-cum that decorated his sensitive cockhead trickled down.
A pearlescent sheen covered the entirety of Sundayβs cock as he eagerly spread it from tip to baseβup and down, up and down, a couple of languid strokes that had him panting heavily.
A vivid imagery of you pumping his cock plagued his mind as he shut his eyes closed, both hands wrapped around the length of his shaft while your tongue gave experimental licks, βNghβah! Mhm!β Sunday whimpered, free hand gripping the cool surface of the bathroom door behind him, he hadn't been doing this for long yet his knees were ready to give up from the immense weight of pleasure.
His chest vigorously rose and fell as each inhale and exhale turned more shallow than the last, he picked up the pace, stroking himself a little faster.
Pure bliss gnawed at his feverish skin, it sank its teeth into him βtil it reached his very bones, engulfing his entire body in an intoxicating pleasured state.
βAhβ! Haah! Oh, god!β
Despite the sound of blood rushing in his ears, Sunday replayed the sinful moans you made in the movie, how your face contorted in pleasure as Cassian kissed down your neckβlips parted and brows tightly knitted together.
You sang the most exquisite melody he has ever heard and he could only hope to pull the very same ones, maybe something even better, one that would flawlessly intertwine with his own to create an immoral tune.
He bucked his hips into his curled hand at the thought of having sex with you. Embarrassingly, Sunday had never gotten intimate with anyoneβhis days were packed with duty on top of duty and he wasnβt given the chance to get into a relationship as it was the last thing he had in mind as (former) Oak Family Head. All he knew was to govern the Lineage he grew up in.
But he wondered . . How would you feel around his cock? Were you warm and soft?βmaybe even a hint of greediness where you readily swallowed him whole.
It almost pained him that you werenβt in front of him right this moment because now, he had to settle for his inexperienced hand and just the thought of that grew a bud of frustration within his chest. Sunday wanted youβhe needed you.Β
Badly.
He desired to bury his shaft deep inside and have you come undone around him once, twice, as much as you wantedββtil your legs trembled around his waist, βtil your throat ran dry from repeatedly calling his name like a sacred prayer, and even then, he wasnβt sure if his thirst would be satiated.
This wasnβt just lust anymore. No. Sunday wasnβt merely aroused by a heated scene in your movie, he held something much deeper for you in his heart. It had always been there from the start but remained dormant and quiet enough to go unnoticed by him but now that it has bloomed into something greater, he realised that what he held for you was love.
Sunday loved you. Deeply, truly, and agonizingly.
At the sudden realisation, the coil inside him snapped instantaneously, spurts of hot cum spilled from his cock, he came with a loud wanton moan which echoed throughout the bathroom walls. His body trembled and pleasure which engulfed his entire body took him to places heβs never been before.
Sunday grunted as he milked his cock, shamelessly pumping it βtil it emptied; he slumped against the door, filth settling over him while he tried to catch his breath.
Despite his lust-clouded mind, he only thought of one thingβto tell you how he truly felt.
As morning finally came, Sunday stepped outside the hotel to gather his thoughts after last nightβs realisation, he figured getting some fresh air while walking amongst the locals and taking in the beauty of Ahatopia would quench the yearning in his heart.
Duomension City was as busy as ever with students, office workers and early risers trying to get through the morning rush, even at this hour the City remained livelyβthis world wasnβt entirely different from Penacony, teeming with large and colourful animated posters, it reminded Sunday of Moment of Golden Hour which also brimmed with bright billboards, music, and the surge of Penaconians out and about, it made him miss home even more.
But Planarcadia was different, it was a world that devoured silence and perhaps thatβs why Sunday had grown to relax a little because silence left too much room to think. He adjusted the collar of his coat as he stepped through the crowded avenue, weaving between strangers with practised ease.
The cool air smelled faintly of freshly brewed coffee and expensive perfume, it blended seamlessly with the sounds of passing conversations and the quiet hum of cars.
A group of students rushed past him suddenly, laughing too loudly and nearly colliding with his shoulder. Sunday stepped aside instinctively, accidentally knocking into a stranger; the sound of a distinct thud reached his ears, an object falling onto the ground.
He halted his tracks to pick up the fallen objectβa bottle of iced coffeeβand return it to its owner. Ah, he should really watch his surroundings.
βMy apologies for bumping into you, I shouldβve been more aware of myββ Sunday stopped mid sentence as he faced the owner of the beverage.
The world didnβt go silent, no, if anything, Planarcadia only grew louder around himβfootsteps rushing past, the distant sound of train announcements echoing, laughter from down the street but all of it blurred into meaningless noise because standing only a few inches away was you.
There was no mistaking it with your ivory wings and gleaming halo.
Was he dreaming? It had to be an elaborate prank, no? This was the world of Elation after all, maybe some Fool decided to play a sick joke on him. But the look on your face mirrored his ownβshock and confusion.
For a moment, neither of you moved, the sea of people in the vicinity weaved their way aroundβthey split and reformed like water around stone. Strangers brushed against his shoulders unaware that his world had just tilted violently off its axis.
You werenβt doing any better at all, it's as though your heart had forgotten how to beat. Sunday looked different, it wasnβt a drastic change but it was enough for you to notice.
The pristine perfection once attached to him had frayed at the edges, his attire was less . . uniform, and his eyes gleamed with more sincerity but there was undeniable exhaustion on his face, as if the last few months had carved something deeper into him.
And yet it was still himβyour Sunday.
β. . Youβre here . . ?β He broke the loud silence first.
βSo are you.β You breathed out.
He looked down, suddenly remembering the bottle which rested on his palm. Carefully, he stepped closer and held it out, you took it with your left hand, fingers brushing against his gloved hand.
Sunday sucked in a sharp breath as he noticed the familiar band of gold around your ring finger, βYouβYou still wear your ring?β He asked with a hint of hope evident in his tone.
You almost laughed at the absurdity of his observation but curiosity soon followed, βWe are still married, after all. People notice everything, if they donβt see a ring on me, theyβd immediately assume divorce. Itβs not exactly easy given your absence in Penacony. Why? Do you not wear yours anymore?β
Oh. So you only kept the ring on to avoid speculation and here he thought it meant something more to you but he didnβt have the luxury to sulk about it because every second spent in his presence faced bigger punishment for youβhe knew The Family, they werenβt lenient.
He didnβt wear his ring anymore but kept it with him at all times, it was tucked safely inside the inner pocket of his coat, close to his heart. He refused to wear it for the same reason he severed his halo back in Penaconyβto feel pain. Albeit not physically, he felt the emotional pain of being undeserving of loving you and being loved by you.
βI think I should go. WeβWe shouldnβt be talking . .β Sunday shook his head and slowly stepped backwards which earned a baffled expression from you.
Thatβs it?
After not seeing each other for months, he was just going to chicken out and refuse to talk? You were well aware he only cared for your safety but you believed you needed answers from him and besides, the confession in your heart sat long enoughβit was finally time to set it free.
βReally, Sunday?β
The sound of your voice uttering his name had him swallowing thickly. βBecause if I remember correctly, you still had the guts to talk to me back in Penacony hours after you became a fugitive.β
He stopped in his tracks, now it was his turn to be confused, βYou saw through my disguise?β
β. . I had a hunch it was you. Iβve replayed that conversation a million times for the past few monthsβover and over βtil it finally dawned on me. So, please, letβs talk? You told me in that very conversation you wouldnβt want a future without me in it, right?β
Sunday couldnβt refuse.
The two of you found yourselves back at your hotel roomβhe wouldβve offered his room if he wasnβt sharing it with Dan Hengβboth of you figured it wasnβt best to talk about such matters in public, especially since merely being seen together with Sunday was already a crime itself.
The hotel you stayed at was more luxurious, a suite which offered a generous view of the bustling city below and its panoramic skyline, and carefully selected artwork adorned its beige painted walls.
βAre you here for a press tour?β He asked, eyeing the expansive room.Β
βIβm here on vacation.β
Silence stretched and tension grew thicker with each second, you and Sunday stood a few metres apart from one another, sticking out like sore thumbs. Neither of you dared to speak with the amount of thoughts that raced in your mindsβthere was simply a lot to talk about that none of you knew where to start at all.
Should you address the elephant in the room? What he did back in Penacony and the fact that he was now a wanted criminal? Or should you tell him the very words in your heart that desired to be known?
Yes, Sunday committed the highest act of treason against his homeland, its people, and The Family but what exactly could you even say to him regarding that matter? Get angry and berate him further like everyone else did in his absence? Doing so still wouldnβt change what he had done. Youβve heard every word The Family higher ups spoke of himβthey were rightfully angry, of course, you wouldnβt deny them that feeling but it pained you.
βI need to tell you something.β Both of you spoke up in unison, urgency in your tones equally evident.
βYou go ahead first.β Sunday cleared his throat. If he was being honest, he hasnβt been able to sit still ever since he last spoke to you in Penaconyβyou mentioned how you wanted to tell him something, and judging by the look on your face, he could only assume what you wanted to say was regarding that matter.
Letting out a sigh, you nodded, never in a million years did you think youβd be confessing to him in a luxury hotel room, in a foreign world, stars away from Penacony,
βI know our marriage requires us to . . act in certain ways to make it believable but I have something Iβve buried inside my chest for as long as I can remember and no matter how many times I push it down or simply ignore it, it just wonβt go away . . What am I even rambling about? What Iβm trying to say is . . I have feelings for you, Sundayβeven before this whole marriage act, ever since we were children.β
You looked away and stared at the abstract painting near the bed, you simply couldnβt handle returning Sundayβs stare, especially not when silence grew. Maybe you should have just kept your mouth closed and let him go first because now you were starting to regret itβwhat if he wanted to get a divorce?
Clearly there was no point in your marriage anymore, he has been absent in public for months and there was no reason to keep up the charade.
Even though your marriage was sealed with a legitimate contract, none of The Family Heads acknowledged its authenticity; your mother and Robin were a different caseβit was more so out of respect while the rest did so out of disdain but still, the Dreammaster who orchestrated this unity was already dead which meant it held no significance at all.
Just an empty legal document.
βI . . feel the same way.β
. . What?
βIt was foolish of me not to realize sooner. It was easy for me to show affection for you because what I have in my heart is genuine but I merely hid it behind the reason of duty because I wasnβt entirely sure of these feelings at all.βΒ
Now, it was Sundayβs turn to look away in embarrassment, a hue of deep rose graced his pale cheeks and heat prickled his skin.
Your breath stopped and the city below seemed to disappear, his words werenβt grand but they were honest, probably the most honest it has been since for as long as you could remember, it was a simple truth laid bare beneath a foreign sky.
For a long moment, you couldnβt speak because part of you had wanted thisβyou dreamed of this for so long now that it felt entirely cruel.
Cruel because you couldnβt be with him, not by your side, not in Penacony, not elsewhere, and now that your hearts were on the table, you simply couldnβt stand the thought of separation.
But for now, you wanted to cherish this moment. To convince yourself that you and Sunday had a future together where he didnβt have to run from The Family and face consequences, that the two of you werenβt bound for interminable separation.
βThis is so unfair.β With a shaky breath, you buried your face in the hearts of your palms. You were certain if Aha was aware of the situation you and Sunday were in right now, THEY would be laughing. What a cruel joke from the cosmos.
He closed the distance between the two of you, protectively wrapping his arms around your body as he rested his chin on the crown of your head. Itβd be absolutely selfish of him to ask for something more but he couldnβt bear the thought of you being with someone else.
He pulled back and pried your hands away from your face, his fingers brushing lightly against your cheeks as he cupped them, tentativeΒ in a way that almost undid you more than certainty would have.
β. . May I?β He whispered. The warmth of his hand against your skin sent something sharp and aching through your chest.
βYou may.β
Sunday slowly leaned in and for a moment, you remembered the βkissβ at Eventide, only this time, it was as real as it got. The kiss wasnβt dramatic nor theatricalβit was merely his lips pressed against your own, soft with a small tremble, as if almost unsure if this was the right thing to do.
One hand found your waist carefully, drawing you closer with a reverence that made your knees feel less reliable all of a sudden. The kiss deepened but not with force but with feeling, slow and tender.
It felt like grief and relief at the same time, as though the two of you mourned the past few months but also treasuring the fact that, somehow, there was still the present and the future.
His lips were warm and softer than youβd imagined in moments you had long since stopped permitting yourself to imagine. Every slight shift was careful, as though he was memorizing the map of your lips. For the first time, this moment was entirely yours and Sundayβsβno ivory wing to shield the kiss, no cameras, and definitely not out of duty.
Your hands found their way to his collar, fingers curling more firmly into him which pulled the faintest sound, something quiet and surprised that sent a shiver down your spine. When you finally parted, it was only enough to breathe; your foreheads rested together, the city below spinning while the morning seemed to hold itself still around you.
β. . So,β You whispered, still breathless, βThat was significantly better than the wedding.β
Sundayβs shoulders shifted slightly, he laughed, βI would hope so.β
You smiled before you could stop yourself, and perhaps he saw something equally dangerous in your expression because his gaze softened into something so openly affectionate it nearly stole your breath all over again. You pulled him back down on you, this time the kiss was less hesitant but just as tender than the last, and maybe also a bit rougherβfull of desire and hunger.
Sundayβs hand remained at your waist, steady and warm as though he feared everything might vanish if he held on too tightly but this second kiss had already undone that illusion, there was nothing uncertain left in the way you leaned into him, nothing hesitant in the way your fingers dug into the fabric of his coat.
The kiss deepened not with urgency alone but with the quiet ache of something long denied, every touch seemed to carry the weight of love restrained far too long.
βTell me to stop.β Sunday breathed out between kisses, a shaky whisper. His words werenβt obligation, they were reverence as he would simply not take what was not freely given.Β
Your answer came not in words but in the way your hands rose to cradle his face, the way you kissed him again with a certainty that made his breath hitch, and that was enough for him. His restraint broke softly akin to silk slipping loose, not reckless, never reckless but what laid beneath the silken veil was a brewing storm of desireβthe feelings of yesterday suddenly coming back to him.
The hand on your waist carefully slid upward, the tips of his fingers tracing your clothed body before he gently ushers you out of your jacket, it fell onto the polished floors with a soft thudβone layer deeper, closer to what you both wanted.
But before you could go any further, Sunday completely pulled away from the kiss, cheeks bitten with pink and lips parted as he breathed heavily.
There was a hint of hesitancy in his face, βIβve never done this before but I want you . .β He whispered, trailing off as embarrassment engulfed him.
You gave him a small smile and leaned in to kiss his lips, βThatβs okay,β Then, the column of his neck, βYou can simply,β And the spot beneath his wing, βFollow my lead.β
Oh, youβd be the death of him.
Soon, your hands slid down to unfasten his coat, easing him out of his outer layer βtil it met yours on the ground.
There was something so heartbreakingly human about this momentβtwo individuals who had once stood at the altar of Eventide, beneath thousands of watchful eyes, now trembling more in private than both have ever had in public.
No words were spoken as each layer was shed, only the quiet rustle of fabric, shared kisses, and the growing anticipation as you bared your feelings to one another.
Sunday barely noticed you had guided him over to the bed βtil his back kissed the soft ivory sheets, he was so caught up in the heat of the moment he almost forgot to drink you inβto bask in the sheer beauty of your naked body.
Through tinted cheeks and wet lashes, he looked up at you with pure desire and slowly raked his honeyed gaze all over your bodyβfrom your breasts, to the dip of your waist, and all the way down to the apex of your thighs. Sunday let out a shaky breath as he felt his cock hardening even further.
βYouβre exquisite.β He breathed out. Paired with your glimmering halo and the wings behind your ears, you were a sight for the heavens.
βYouβre not so bad yourself, Mr. Sunday.β
A small chuckle escaped your lips, it was clearly a tease to mask the fact that his naked form drove you to the brink of insanity. Beautiful was an understatementβthere wasnβt a word in the thesaurus that could describe the angelic sight before you.
The shy look on his face was ironic because his cock stood prouder than ever, begging to be inside you. It flushed pink and leaked a generous amount of pre-cum, and it took all your will power not to lap it up right then and there.
βWait,β He started. βI want to please you.β
At his request, you switched positions, only this time you sat up on the edge of the bed. Sunday slowly got on his knees before you as he placed a trail of chaste kisses down your neck, collarbones, and just above the valley of your breasts. Sensing slight hesitation from him, you wrapped your fingers around his wrist and guided his hand to your chest,
βIt feels good when you massage and squeeze itβah! Justβmhm! Just like that.β You moaned as he gave an experimental squeeze, brain short-circuiting at your immediate reaction to his touch; his palms were expansive and his fingers were long which allowed him to stimulate most of the sensitive area.
Sunday brought both hands to cup each breast, gently massaging them while his eyes darted between your chest and face, he wore an expression full of wonder and curiosity, rosy lips lightly parted as he breathed heavily.
Curious, he eagerly wrapped his lips around a mound, tongue swirling around your hardened nipple, causing your hands to fly to his hair.
βS-Sundayβ!β
He responded with a hum which sent vibrations across your skin as you gently tugged at his hair. If he was being honest, he wasnβt entirely sure what he was doing and his actions were merely fuelled by the sounds and expressions you made.
With one hand still on your other breast, he gently fondled your sensitive nipple between his lithe fingers, you arched your back, pressing your chest further into his face. Your skin was extremely warm and soft beneath his touch it almost felt unreal; he couldnβt believe he was right in front of you, intimate and vulnerable.
Sunday then switched between your breasts, giving the other the same amount of attention and stimulation before he trailed downwards.
Gentle and hot, he placed wet open-mouthed kisses between the valley of your chest and along your stomach, taking the time to lap up the sensitive area just above your bellybutton.
Once he reached your sex, he looked up at you briefly to look for any discomfort in your face, and upon not finding any, he slowly pried your legs open, revealing your sopping entrance.
All for him?
Though, it felt rather daunting not really knowing where to start. With two fingers, Sunday gently rubbed up and down your slit a couple of times, observing your reactionβyou bit the bottom of your lip and your brows slightly knitted together.
So far, so good.
βY-You canβngh! Wet your index andβahβring finger with your mouth and put them inside.β You let out a soft moan, one hand planted firmly on the mattress to support your crumbling torso while the other explored his hair. Sunday may have been inexperienced but god did he pleasure you effortlessly, he hasnβt even touched you properly yet you were already trembling.
At your words, he paused slightly. Put his fingers inside his mouth? What a bizarre thing to do. His cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red as he wrapped his lips around his digits, effectively wetting them as instructed, he could taste a hint of you.
You could only watch in awe as the sight before you unfolded, never in your lifetime did you think youβd see the revered Sundayβformer Bronze Melodia and former Oak Family Headβstick his fingers inside his mouth.
βNow, with your palm facing the ceiling, slowly push them in one by one.β
A soft pop echoed in the silence as he removed his digits from his mouth and brought them down to your sopping cunt. Slowly, he pushed his index finger past your folds and immediately sought your reactionβa soft sigh.
Oh, how warm you were, it felt like he was dipping his hand in a pot of warm honey, slick and smooth, and maybe even as sweet. Sunday gave a few shallow experimental pumps before adding the second digit, eliciting a shaky whimper from you.
βHaaβah! C-Curl your fingers upwards andβyes! Oh, god! Just like that, Sundayβmhm!β You threw your head back as he curled his fingers, face contorted in pure pleasure.
At your pornographic reaction, he swallowed thickly; he tried not to think about how much his cock ached, being untouched for so long, itβd have to wait for a little while, he wanted to please you βtil you were satisfied.
Deep in a haze of lust, you tried your best to form a coherent sentence, βCan youβoh, that feels good. Can you feel a spongy texture? Gently apply pressure and rub it back a-and forthβhngh!β
Sunday absentmindedly nodded, he could feel the area you mentioned just above the pads of his fingers. As you instructed, he pressed on it lightly, afraid heβd hurt you if he did more. With a grind of your hips, you let out a wanton moan in the shape of his name.
βIs this okay . . ?β He breathed out.
βY-Youβre doing good. Just keep a delicate, steady pace . .β Your hand on his hair snaked down to the apex of your legs to spread open your cunt, βIf you wantβhaah! You can also kiss at this spot here at the top andβoh, fuck! Sunday!β
Before you could finish your sentence, his lips were already flushed against your entrance, closely following every word you uttered. A slight shudder washed over your naked body as his feathered wings brushed against the insides of your thighs.
βYes! Lightly suck on it like thaβaah! Ngh! Haah, Iβm so close. Donβtβmhm! Donβt stop, pleaseβ
With the combined stimulation of his fingers inside you and his lips around your clit, a string of colourful moans left your lips as you slowly sank deeper into the depths of bliss. The sounds you made were music to his ears which only fuelled his actions further.
With a forceful grunt, you threw your head back as you came on Sundayβs fingersβtoes curling and thighs shaking at the immense wave of pleasure that hit you.
He slowed down his movements and resorted to languid strokes which allowed you to grind your hips and ride out your orgasm. He let out a shaky moan at the sensation of your walls tightening around his fingers, oddly enough, it felt satisfying for him.
Coming down from your high, you slumped down on the bed, face extremely heated and lips parted to catch your breath.
Wide eyed and in slight awe, Sunday slowly pulled out his slick coated fingers which earned a low whine from you, he curiously examined his soaked digits, they were faintly trembling from the repeated motion.
Without a second thought, he wrapped his lips around them with the sweetness of your taste settling on his tongue. Oh, how dangerously addicting you were. Wet sounds slipped from his mouth as he sucked his digits clean from your saccharine slick, earning a curious glance from you as you lifted your head off the mattress.
He was trying to kill you.
The two of you found yourselves situated further up the bed with Sunday slotted between your parted legs, he hovered over you with one palm firmly planted beside your head while the other languidly pumped his hard cock just before your wet cunt.
He let out soft pants above you, flushed face contorting with pleasure, βA-Are you sure?β Even with his mind entirely clouded by lust he prioritised your comfort.
βAs long as it's you, I can never be more sure.β
He smiled in response and placed a chaste kiss on your lips before slowly guiding the tip to your folds. Snaking a hand between your bodies, you helped Sunday position his cock correctlyβa few centimetres downβthen, you loosely circled your arms around his neck, allowing him to go at his own pace.Β
The morning glow surrounded him like a serene aura, it bounced off his pale skin which gave him a heavenly glow. With a shaky exhale, he pushed his cockhead inch by inch which immediately earned a sharp gasp from both of you.
The feeling of you around him was foreign yet oddly comforting, your walls were warmβextremely warmβit almost felt like he was soaking inside a hot tub of water and it made his head spin in a good way.
Sunday met your gaze with his starry ones, a light sheen of tears coating his eyes at how amazing you felt around him.
He couldnβt believe he was inside you, buried deep inside the woman he truly loved; he prayed in the back of his lust-fogged mind hoping that this wasnβt a dream.
You bit your lip as he bottomed out, watching the way Sundayβs body reacted to everythingβhow his wings curled inwards, how his abdomen tightened and untightened, and how his breathing grew uneven with every passing second. He genuinely looked like he was on cloud nine.
Unwrapping an arm from his neck, you slotted your hand against his jawβjust at the spot below his ear and wingβto caress his cheek, βYou okay . . ?β
A small nod, then, his eyes fluttered shut, the tips of his lashes brushing against his rosy stained cheeks. Sunday leaned into your touch with a faint whimper, one that had your brain short-circuiting.
For a minute or two, he stilled inside, allowing you both to adjust to the feeling; this wasnβt your first time but the sheer length of his cock reached spots you didnβt know even existed to the point where you had to count to ten just to steer yourself away from spiraling and cumming right then and there.
βS-So tightβngh. You feel good.β Sunday slowly pulled back about halfway before thrusting back inside, drawing wanton moans from both of you.
He resorted to languid, deep thrusts which allowed you to feel every inch of himβfor your sopping cunt to remember the exact shape of his cockβand each time he bottomed out, his cockhead deliciously kissed your sweet spot.
With the slow rhythm set, the bed creaked and groaned in time with the movements of his hips, sounds of light skin slapping and lewd squelching filled all four walls of the entire room.
Everything felt sinfulβfrom the pornographic moans you let out to the slick that covered his cock and your inner thighs but god was it completely addicting.Β
Sundayβs face remained a mere breath away from yours, keeping eye contact, his honeyed gaze pulled you into the depths of warm bliss, akin to a gentle hug that enveloped oneβs body.
Every intentional push and pull of his hips knocked out oxygen from your lungs which had you incoherently gasping for his name.
A light sheen of sweat coated your bodies as the morning air grew impossibly thick, the ivory sheets beneath your back clung onto you like second skin, and Sundayβs hair stuck to his forehead but neither of you cared about the filthiness of it, not when your bodies pleasured one another like there was no tomorrow.
Not when he firmly pressed his cock with every thrust inside you.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, effectively pulling him closer and allowing him to reach you a little deeper than before; your hands spread across his shoulder blades, curling inwards to decorate his back with rubied streaks.
The sharp sting of your nails sent Sunday forward, his head fell onto the pillows beneath your own, shamelessly moaning dangerously close to your ear.
At the sound of your moans, he picked up his pace, his cock hitting your g-spot a little harder. He also neared his climax and with the way your greedy cunt tightened around him and he knew he wasnβt going to last any longer.
Using all the strength he had left, Sunday lifted himself with trembling arms and gave you an open-mouthed kiss, it was messier than he had intended but the mere feeling of your mouths slotting against one another with your saliva mixing only fuelled the drive of his hips further.
He pulled away slightly, a thin string of spit connecting his lips to yours, βPlease cum for me! Nghβah! Haah! C-Cum with me!β
With a few more sloppy thrusts, Sunday sheathed the entire length of his cock, firmly pressing into your sensitive spot as he came with a loud, shameless moan, ear feathers shaking from pleasure. You followed shortly after, nails digging into his skin which left red crescent shaped marks all across his back.
Ribbons of thick, warm cum generously coated your walls, youβve never been this full before but you werenβt complaining, the feeling of Sunday filling you to the brim had you whimpering beneath him.
His cock several times twitched inside you as it emptied itself; he came so much to the point where his cum had started spilling out of you and dripped onto the sheets below, effectively soiling them but he couldnβt just simply stop himself even if he wanted toβit kept coming out in waves βtil there was nothing left.
Embarrassed, Sunday buried his face at the junction of your neck, prickly heat creeping up his cheeks. A breathless chuckle left your lips, hands soothing over the reddened trails you left on his back, who knew he could actually get embarrassed over something as little as cumming too much?
How adorable.
He rolled over with a grunt and plopped onto the empty spot next to you, you curled next to him, the uneven rise and fall of his chest beneath your cheeks somewhat pulling you back into reality.
One of his arms rested loosely around you, absentmindedly tracing slow, soothing patterns against your back as if he reassured himself that you werenβt just a dream, that you were real and remained right next to him.
For a while, neither of you spokeβthe quiet wasnβt uncomfortable, just your breaths slowly steadying itself with each second.
A saddened expression washed over your face as reality settled on your shoulders akin to cold seeping through glassβslowly yet adamantβand you were immediately reminded of the predicament you both faced. Your fingers tightened slightly where they rested against him and Sunday noticed immediately,
βWhatβs wrong? Did I hurt you?β He whispered, confusion painted on his face; his voice was much softerβachingly gentle.
You shook your head, gaze lifting towards the expansive windows and the horizon beyond it, βI just . . I was just reminded of what you and I have to face and Iβm scared, Sunday. WhatβWhat if The Family finds out youβre here in Planarcadia andβI donβt even want to think about what theyβll do. Iβm scared for us because . . I finally have you and I donβt know if that means weβll be separated again . .β
Really, there was nothing you could do but you wanted to be with Sunday, you wanted to spend your days with him out in the open, not a single care in the cosmos about The Family being after himβyou wanted him back home and beside you.
Beside you, he shifted closer, he carefully tilted your chin upward βtil you had no choice but to look at him. Funnily enough, for all the uncertainty ahead, his gaze remained steady, βWe wonβt lose one another.β
βSundayββ βListen to me.β He softly interrupted, thumb brushing lightly beneath your eye before tears could fully gather.
βI do not know what the next month will look likeβor the next year, and I cannot promise you our union either but I can promise you this: when the time comes, I will face it all and I will do everything in my power to rightfully earn the spot beside you.β
Your lips trembled, not only from sadness but from the fragile, terrifying hope that began to bloom beneath your chest.
βThe Family wonβt stop.β You whispered.
βI know.β
βThey wonβt forgive easily.β
βI know.β
βThereβs a real chance we could be eternally separated.β
Sunday smiled, not because it was funny but because somehowβdespite everythingβhe felt almost fond of your catastrophizing, βThen we shall simply find our way back to one another the same way we did today, no?β
Your laugh came unexpectedlyβit was humourless and full of disbelief but purely light hearted, βYou make that sound very simple.β
βIt wonβt be but difficult has never meant impossible.β He murmured, brushing a strand of stray hair from your face with unbearable tenderness.Β
Mirroring his smile, you shifted closer to bury yourself against his bare skin as though you were anchoring your heart to him. Sundayβs arm tightened around you immediately, protective without thought before pressing a quiet kiss to your forehead.
And as though all worries dissipated into the skies of Planarcadia, the once lonely suite had transformed into something far more lived-inβthe bed remained half unmade, blankets tangled and abandoned, heated remnants of earlier faded into something more wholesome. Room service trays sat on the wooden coffee table, silver lids pushed aside in favour of half-finished lunch.
Sunday was seated on the floorβpants and top messily thrown over his bodyβeating a fruit. He looked up from where he sat, brows lifting slightly as you eagerly rummaged through your luggage near the entryway. You returned to him with your arms full, a couple of somewhat familiar-looking objects tucked inside.
βWhat is that?β He blinked
You grinned with entirely too much satisfaction, βEmergency provisions.βΒ
His confusion turned to suspicion but nonetheless, you carefully set your haul onto the polished floor one by one like priceless contraband:
Sweet dream cloud candies in iridescent wrappers. Golden lullaby honey crisps. Starfall sugar biscuits dusted in edible shimmer. Moondew fruit chews. SoulGlad. And finally,Β
βChocolate pudding tarts.β Sunday breathed out. He stared at the familiar dessert packaging as though it had appeared through divine intervention.Β
βI brought these snacks with me so I wouldnβt get homesick while on vacation. I often do the same during press toursββ
Before you could speak any further, the lighthearted atmosphere shifted subtly but you noticed itβthe way an expression of sadness crept up his face.
Sunday was homesick.
You hadnβt thought heβd beβno, that wasnβt true, you had thought about it, you just didnβt expect something so minor to make it visible.
Slowly, you opened the packaging and offered the pudding tart. For a second, he simply stared at it but carefully took it nonetheless. He grabbed a silver spoon from one of the trays and scooped a small amount, as if indulging any further was forbidden.
Its familiar sweetness melted on his tongue and you watched as his expression changed into something more nostalgic.
You knew where he had immediately goneβto childhood, to the happier memories where he only worried about how to sneak in more pudding tarts in between music lessons, and what to write in the letter heβd regularly send to Robin (There was just too much to talk about!)
βIt tastes the same as I remember . . Iβthank you.β
You shook your head, βYou donβt have to thank me. I just thought youβd miss some snacks from home.β
You and Sunday spent the entire morning and afternoon holed up in the suite reminiscing about the colourful past, revealing how one deciphered their feelings for the other; he also took the time to give you a proper apology for involving your name and reputation in his affairs to which you accepted.
Maybe it was fate playing a hand.
Once full of worry and fear for the uncertainty that the future held, you learned to slow down and appreciate the presentβthe fact that Sunday was right beside you, safe and healthy.
For now, youβd cherish this moment in a foreign world, and whatever the future may bring, you knew nothing could pry you and Sunday apart, that was something you were certain of. And this time without any hesitation, you spoke up,
you think the man you are meant to marry is a brute with no care for you or your kind. yet when the vows are signed and the crown rests upon your brow, you discover there is more to the king than meets the eyeβand far more he has so carefully chosen to keep from you.
β pairing: phainon x fem!reader
β tags: romance, angst, smut (fingering, unprotected sex, virginity loss), slow burn, bridgerton!au, arranged marriage!au, older brother!mydei, historical inaccuracies, mentions of death & illness, nightmares, period-typical misogyny, discussions of pregnancy, etc. divider by @/thecutestgrotto.
β word count: 21.5k
β a/n: this fic is, first and foremost, a love letter and gift to my best friend, @jeonwiixard. happy birthday, jazz! i love you to the moon and back β‘ this fic is inspired by and based off of queen charlotte: a bridgerton story. thank you to @chokifandom for beta reading, and thank you for reading!
THE DAY BEFORE YOUR WEDDING, your brother held you tight to his chest, and whispered apology after apology. You do not want this, sister, I know, I know you do not want this, but father did not leave me with a choice. It was a betrothal made when you were born, and if our estate is to survive the locust plague, we need their help, sister. Please, forgive me.
Perhaps, if you werenβt in such a foul mood, you might have forgiven your older brother, Mydeimos, the Earl of Kremnos. Earlier that morning, however, your maid had fetched you the latest edition of Lady Whistledownβs society papers, and seeing how unfavourably she had written about you and your impending wedding, you were not so inclined.
You let him hold you, and patted his hair as you would your favourite mare, and said, βItβs quite all right, brother. After all, not everyone is blessed with the good fortune of marrying a prince.β
He looked stricken. βBut you do not love him. You do not even know him.β
βI suppose such is my fate. Do fetch the carriage, will you? It is a long ride to London, and it would suit us all to be there before sundown.β
Poor Mydeimos could do nothing else but oblige, though he did so reluctantly and made his displeasure known to all. He snapped at the footman and the driver, curtly told your maidβpoor Erinyes, you would miss her so!βthat the ruby necklace she had picked out for you was too gaudy and she ought to replace it with the diamonds instead, and ordered the cook to make your favourite dish for breakfast, though you did not think you could stomach even a morsel of it. You appreciated his efforts, however, and tried, at least, to feign taking a bite so that he would not feel guilty.
In the carriage, where you sat still as a statue, you unfolded Lady Whistledownβs papers once more. It read thus:
Dearest Gentle Reader,
Though this news has been nothing more than a rumour for the better part of a month, it has now been officially announced that the Kingβs wedding has been arranged.
The lucky young lady in question, however, remains something of a curiosity to this authorβbeing neither a reigning beauty of the marriage mart nor a frequent fixture of our glittering assemblies. Indeed, one might wonder whether His Highness has chosen discretion over delight, or whether this match is yet another reminder that crowns, much like fortunes, are so often secured by strategy rather than sentiment.
Those inclined to sigh for romance would do well to temper their expectations. The King has long been known for his reserve, his temper, and his marked disinterest in the softer pursuits of courtship. If affection is to bloom between bride and groom, it will do so under circumstances far less indulgent than poetry and stolen glances.
Still, this author cannot help but observe that unions forged under necessity have a habit of producing the most interesting consequences. Whether this marriage shall prove a triumph or a tragedy remains to be seenβbut rest assured, gentle reader, I shall be watching.
Yours truly,
Lady Whistledown.
βImpetuous woman,β you said, tossing the pamphlet aside. βWhat does she know about me?β
βShe is not entirely wrong, is she?β Mydeimos, who sat opposite you, said. βYou did not want this marriage, and it is my fate to deliver you to it.β
This time, you truly did feel a pang of sympathy for your older brother. βYou did say this was a match made the day I was born, Mydeimos. What could you have done to stop it?β
βAnnulled the agreement,β he said. βFather and mother are no more, so how would they know?β
βPerhaps,β you said patiently, βbut that betrothal is not the only reason, is it not? I know how our funds have been dwindling, brother. Our crops are failing, and you need the money in order to help our farmers and tenants.β
Mydeimos shifted awkwardly in his seat. He looked anywhere in the carriage but directly at you: his gaze darted from the window to the spot above your head, and back down to his boots. Heβd worn his finest clothesβas had you, of course; it would not do to meet the King in anything lessβbut he looked smaller than youβd ever seen him.
βYes,β he said finally. βIt is for the money.β
βThen it is settled. I am quite fond of our estate and its tenants. Its upkeep shall keep me very happy.β
βI will do my best to ensure it,β Mydeimos said. βYou will have to know a few things about the castle and the Kingβthey sent me a whole book full of customs and information you ought to know as the next in line to be the Queen. Would you like to read it now?β
βPerhaps later,β you said, though in truth you did not want to read it at all. In fact, you found yourself wanting to grab the book from Mydeimosβ hands and throw it out of the carriage. Instead, you settled for imagining the pages being set on fire.
He nodded and reached over to pat your hand where it rested on the seat. βTry to rest. Tomorrow will be a long day.β
You sighed and closed your eyes.
The palace was grandβgrander than anything youβd ever laid eyes upon before, and much bigger than your manor back in Kremnos.
The footman opened the carriage door, and the evening air rushed in, cool and sharp, carrying with it the scent of roses from the palace gardens. You took Mydeimosβ offered hand and stepped down onto the cobblestones, your skirts rustling as you steadied yourself. The palace loomed before you, its white stone faΓ§ade gilded by the light of the sun, making its windows gleam.
βWhat do you think?β Mydeimos murmured beside you.
You said nothing. Your gaze swept across the groundsβthe manicured hedges, the marble fountains. Cold beauty, you thought. Beauty without warmth.
A line of servants stood waiting, their livery immaculate and their faces blank. At the head of this assembly stood a woman, tall and severe, with silver hair swept back from a face that might have been handsome if it were not quite so forbidding.
βMy lady,β she said. βI am Lady Caenis, the palace stewardess. His Highness sends his regrets that he cannot greet you personally, but urgent matters of state require his attention.β
Of course. You forced your expression into one of gracious understanding, though privately you thought it rather convenient that the King could not spare even an hour to meet his bride-to-be. What urgent matters, you wondered, could possibly be more pressing than this?
βHow very conscientious of His Highness,β you said. βI should hate to distract him from his duties.β
βIndeed. Come, your rooms have been prepared. Lord Mydeimos, arrangements have been made for your accommodation in the east wing. You will, of course, be free to visit your sister as propriety allows.β
The implied restriction was not lost on you; it meant, you suspected, that your time with Mydeimos would be carefully monitored and limited. The thought of losing even his company made something uncomfortably sad twist in your chest.
You walked through corridors lined with portraits of stern-faced royals, their painted eyes seeming to follow your progress. Chandeliers dripped with crystals overhead, and your footsteps echoed on marble floors so highly polished, you could see your reflection in them.
βThese will be your apartments,β Lady Caenis said at last, pushing open a set of doors carved with intricate patterns of roses and thorns. βThe Dowager Princessβ chambers. They have been empty for some time, so we have had them thoroughly aired and refreshed for your arrival.β
The rooms were vast: a receiving parlour that opened into a bedroom, which in turn led to a dressing room and private bathing chamber. The walls were papered in silk the colour of early morning skies, and the furniture was lined with brocade. A fire crackled merrily in the hearth, as though trying to warm a space far too large for such modest flames. French doors opened onto a balcony that overlooked gardens so extensive you could not see where they ended.
βYour maid will arrive shortly,β Lady Caenis continued. βShe comes with excellent references, and has served in the palace for many years. I trust you will find her more than adequate.β
βI had rather hoped my own maid might attend me,β you said. βErinyes has been with my family since I was a child.β
βIβm afraid that wonβt be possible. The Queenβs household staff are all palace employeesβit is tradition, you understand. Your brotherβs attendants will, naturally, remain with him during his stay.β
βI understand,β you said, though you understood very well that you were being given no choice in the matter.
βThe wedding is tomorrow at noon in the palace chapel,β the stewardess said. βYou will have time this evening to review the ceremony with the archbishop, and there will be a private dinner tonight where you and His Highness will dine together. It isβ¦ expected that you use this time to become acquainted.β
How romantic, you thought.
βWhat time is dinner?β you asked.
βEight oβclock. Someone will come to escort you.β Lady Caenis moved towards the door, then paused. βA word of advice, my lady. His Highness is not what you might expect. He isβ¦ complicated. I would suggest keeping an open mind.β
Before you could ask what she meant by that, she was gone, the door clicking shut behind her. You walked to the balcony and stepped out into the cool air. The gardens spread below you in geometric circles, hedges trimmed to sharp angles, flower beds arranged in unnatural patterns.
βWell,β you said aloud, βhere we are.β
The gardens remained silent. Even the birds seemed to have deserted this place.
You turned back to the room and discovered that your trunks had already been brought up and placed in the dressing room. At least you would have your own clothes, even if everything else was being stripped away. Small mercies. You were examining the wardrobeβmahogany, you thought, and probably worth more than your familyβs entire stableβwhen there came a soft knock at the door.
βEnter,β you called, expecting Lady Caenis again, or perhaps the maid you were to be saddled with.
Instead, Mydeimos slipped inside, looking furtive and uncomfortably in a way that reminded you of when you were children and he was sneaking sweets from the kitchen.
βI only have a moment,β he said quickly. βLady Caenis made it quite clear that Iβm not to disturb you while youβre settling in, but I had toβI needed to see that you were all right.β
You felt a rush of affection for your brother, this man who had always tried so hard to protect you even when circumstances made it impossible. βI am perfectly fine, Mydeimos. The rooms are lovely. Cold, but lovely.β
βCold?β
βIn spirit, I mean. Theyβre physically quite warm.β You gestured vaguely at the fire. βItβs all very grand and very proper and veryβ¦ not home.β
Mydeimos crossed the room to take your hands in his. His fingers were warm, familiar, the same fingers which had cleaned your knees of mud when you slipped and fell in the gardens as a child, the same ones which had held you at night when you could not sleep in the weeks after your parents passed.
βI am so sorry, sister,β he said. βIf there were any other wayββ
βWeβve had this conversation before already,β you said gently. βThere is no other way, and we both know it. I shall simply have to make the best of things. After all, how bad can it be? I shall be a queen, and I shall have all the gowns and jewels and power a woman could want.β
βBut will you be happy?β
Would you be happy? You didnβt know. You couldnβt imagine it, but perhaps that was simply because you hadnβt tried hard enough. Perhaps happiness was something that could be learned, like French or needlework or the proper way to address a duke.
βI shall endeavour to be content,β you answered at last. βThat will have to suffice.β
Mydeimos looked as though he wanted to argue, but another knock at the door forestalled him. This time, it was a young woman in a maidβs uniform.
βBegging your pardon, my lady, but I am Arielle, your new maid,β she said, curtseying. βLady Caenis sent me to help you dress for dinner.β
βItβs onlyββ you glanced at the clock on the mantelpieceββfour oβclock. Dinner isnβt until eight.β
βYes, my lady, but thereβs your hair to be done, and weβll need to select the proper gown, and youβll want to be bathed first, I imagine, after such a long journey. Best to start early and not be rushed.β
You supposed she had a point, though the idea of spending four hours preparing for a single meal seemed excessive even by your standards.
βI should go,β Mydeimos said, squeezing your hands before releasing them. βBut Iβll see you tomorrow before the wedding. I promise.β
A flutter of panic caused you to ask, βWill you not be joining us for dinner?β
Mydeimos looked pained, his eyes darting away from you. βIt wouldβit is not appropriate, my lady.β
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, and watched him leave.Β
Arielle was already bustling about the room, laying out several different options for evening gowns. βNow then, my lady, what do you think? The green silk might be niceβit brings out your eyesβbut the ivory satin is more traditional for a first formal dinner with His Highness. Then again, thereβs the rose-coloured taffeta, which is very fashionable just nowβ¦β
You let her chatter wash over you as you walked to the window again. The sun was beginning its descent, painting the sky in shades of amber and gold. By this time the next day, you would be married. You would be a queen. You would belong to this place, this palace, and to a man you had never met.
Lady Whistledownβs words came back to you: If affection is to bloom between bride and groom, it will do so in circumstances far less indulgent than poetry and stolen glances. Well, you thought, at least your expectations were appropriately low. That was something, was it not? Better to expect nothing and be pleasantly surprised than to hope for romance and be bitterly disappointed.
βThe ivory satin, I think,β you said, turning back to Arielle. βTraditional suits me just fine.β
If the maid thought there was anything odd about your tone, she didnβt show it. She simply smiled and began preparing your bath, humming a cheerful tune that did little to ease your mood.
You caught your reflection in the mirrorβa young woman in a travelling dress, her hair slightly dishevelled from the journey. Tomorrow, that woman would put on a wedding gown and walk down an aisle and promise herself to a stranger. Tonight, she would sit across from that stranger at dinner and make polite conversation aboutβ¦ what? The weather? The state of the kingdom? How to divvy up your conjugal duties?
The thought made you want to laugh, but you suspected that if you started, you might not be able to stop, and that would never do. After all, you had very little choice in the matter.
βI am afraid the prince will not be joining you for dinner, my lady. He isβ¦ indisposed.β
βWhat?β you said, and indeed, when you looked around, the long table laden with the finest foods and the most delicious sweets was set for only one. βIsβcan my brother join me, at least?β
βI am afraid that is inappropriate, my lady,β Lady Caenis said firmly. βYou may enjoy your dinner in peace.β
βHe is my brother,β you hissed. βAfter tomorrow, I may never see him again.β
βLord Mydeimos will attend the wedding tomorrow, and you will have ample opportunity to say your farewells then. For tonight, His Highness felt it best that you have time toβ¦ acclimate to your new surroundings.β
βHow thoughtful,β you said, and this time you made no effort to disguise the bitterness in your voice. βHis Highness is proving to be remarkably considerateβfirst too preoccupied with matters of state to greet me, and now too indisposed to dine with me. One might almost think he wishes to avoid me entirely.β
βMy ladyββ
βTell me, Lady Caenis,β you interrupted, βis the King always thisβ¦ elusive? Or is it only his future bride he finds so distasteful that he cannot bear to spend even one evening in her company?β
The stewardess drew herself up, and for a moment you thought she might reprimand you for your impertinence. Instead, however, she sighed and something in her severe features softened just slightly.
βHis Highness has his reasons for everything he does, my lady. I cannot speak to them, nor would it be appropriate for me to do so. But I will say this: he is not a cruel man, merely aβ¦ cautious one. Give him time.β
βHow much time, precisely?β you said. βWe are to be married in less than a day.β
Lady Caenis said nothing to that. What could she say? You were right, and you both knew it.
βVery well,β you said at last, turning away from her to face the absurdly long dining table with its single place setting at the head. It looked ridiculous: one plate, one glass, one set of silverware in all that vast, empty space. βI shall dine alone, then. As it appears I shall be doing many things alone from now on.β
βMy ladyββ
βThat will be all, Lady Caenis. Thank you.β
You heard her hesitate behind you, the rustle of her skirts as she prepared to leave, but then, surprisingly, she spoke once more. βFor what it is worth, my lady, I am sorry. This is notβ¦ this is not how I would have wished your arrival to be.β
You did not turn around. You could not bear to see whatever expression might be on her face; sympathy would be unbearable, and pity even worse.
βYes,β you said quietly. βWell. Perhaps you might convey my gratitude to His Highness for hisβ¦ hospitality.β
The door closed softly behind her, and you were alone.
You stood there for a long moment, staring at that single place setting, and the elaborate dishes that had been prepared for a meal that was meant to be shared: roasted pheasant, by the looks of it, and some sort of fish in a cream sauce, and vegetables arranged in artful little pyramids. Desserts gleamed on a separate side tableβtarts and cakes and what looked like a towering confection of spun sugar. All of it was wasted on a woman like you, who found she had no appetite whatsoever.
You walked to the table slowly, your ivory satin gown whispering against the floor. Arielle had done an excellent job with your hair, pinning it up in an elaborate style that had taken the better part of an hour and left your scalp aching. Your jewelleryβthe diamonds Mydeimos had insisted uponβcaught the candlelight and threw it back in cold, brilliant sparks. You looked every inch a princess, though you had never felt less like one.
Sitting down in the chair that had been pulled out for you, you stared at the feast spread before you. A servant appeared from somewhereβyou had not even noticed him standing in the shadowsβand began to serve you, spooning portions onto your plate.
βThatβs enough,β you said when your plate was only half full. βThank you.β
The servant bowed and retreated back into the shadows. You picked up your fork, examined a piece of pheasant, and set the fork back down again.
This was absurd! This whole farce was absurd. You had travelled for hours to get here, and had spent four hours being primped and perfected for a dinner with a man who could not even be bothered to attend. You had dressed in your finest gown, and allowed Arielle to arrange your hair until it was perfectly elegant, and had put on jewellery worth more than most people saw in a lifetimeβand for what? To sit alone in a cavernous dining room and pick at food you did not want?
Lady Whistledown had been right, you thought bitterly. Those inclined to sigh for romance would do well to temper their expectations indeed.
You forced yourself to eat a few bitesβthe pheasant really was excellentβand pushed your plate away. The servant materialised again, asking in hushed tones if you would care for dessert.
βNo, thank you,β you said. βI find Iβm quite finished.β
βPerhaps some wine, my lady? Or tea?β
βThat will be all, thank you. I would like to retreat to my chambers now.β
If Lady Caenis found out that you had run away on the morn of your wedding day, you feared her wrath would scare you more than living as an old, unmarried spinster in some far-off county where the King could never find you. How could he? He had not deigned to see your face the evening before, as it was, so you were certain he would not be able to recognise you regardless.
Either way, you consoled yourself, the odds of the King himself finding you attempting to climb over the trellis on the garden wall was a chance that was nigh impossible.
The morning air was cool against your flushed cheeks as you struggled with the branches, your wedding gownβan elaborate confection of white silk and lace that had taken Arielle and two other maids nearly an hour to get you intoβcatching on every available branch and rose thorn. The skirts were impossibly voluminous, designed to make you look like some sort of ethereal being floating down the aisle, but they were decidedly impractical for climbing.
βBlast,β you muttered as another section of lace tore free with an audible rip. The gardeners would have a fit when they discovered what youβd done to their roses.
Arielle had arrived promptly at six. The next three hours had felt like a blur: the bath, the hair, the undergarments, the stockings, the gown itself with its thousand tiny buttons, and the diamonds Mydeimos had insisted upon.
Through it all, one singular thought had circled your mind: I cannot do this. I cannot do this. I cannot do this.
So when Arielle had stepped out to fetch your bouquet, you had made your decision. You had gathered up your ridiculous skirts, slipped out onto the balcony, and made your way down to the gardens. The chapel was on the other side of the palaceβyou could hear the distant sounds of guests arriving, carriages rattling over cobblestones, voices calling to one another. You had perhaps an hour before the ceremony was to begin.
βI wouldnβt recommend that particular route of escape, if I were you.β
You froze. The voice had come from below. You looked down and felt your stomach drop.
A man stood at the base of the trellis, arms crossed over his chest, looking up at you with an expression of blatant, unabashed curiosity. He was tallβas tall as Mydeimos, perhapsβand broad-shouldered beneath grand attire: an intricately embroidered coat, over a white shirt and dress shoes. His hair was light, ruffled gently by the breeze, and even from this distance you could see his eyes were pale, an unusual colour, like ice or the winter sky.
He was also, you noted with some irritation, devastatingly handsome. He had sharp cheekbones, a strong jaw, and a mouth that was currently curved into a smile that suggested he found your predicament highly entertaining.
βWho are you?β you demanded, clinging to the trellis with increasingly aching fingers. βAnd what business is it of yours which route I take?β
βThe trellis,β he said conversationally, βis nearly fifty years old. The wood is rotten in several places. Youβre likely to fall and break your neck, and that would be terribly inconvenient for everyone involved.β
βIβll take my chances,β you said. βNow if youβll excuse meββ
βBreaking your neck on your wedding day seems rather dramatic, donβt you think? Even for a runaway bride.β
You stared down at him. βHow did you knowββ
βThe dress is something of a giveaway,β he said, gesturing at the acres of white silk and lace. βAlso, I am fairly certain I was meant to be marrying someone this morning, and given that sheβs currently attempting to climb over the garden wallβ¦β
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
βYouβre the King,β you stated.
He executed a small bow. βGuilty. And you must be the sister of the Earl of Kremnos. My bride-to-be. Or perhaps my bride-who-was, depending on whether that trellis holds.β
This could not be happening.
βWell,β you said, because there truly seemed to be nothing else to say, βI suppose youβve caught me, then. Congratulations, Your Highness. You can go inform Lady Caenis that the bride is making a run for it. Iβm sure sheβll have some very stern words for me before she locks me in my chambers until the ceremony.β
βI could do that,β the King agreed. He moved closer to the trellis, one hand reaching up to grip the woodβtesting it, you realised, checking its stability. βOr I could help you down from there before you fall and further ruin what appears to be a very expensive dress.β
ββ¦Help me?β
βUnless youβd prefer to hang there until the ceremony begins. Though I should warn you, the chapel bells will ring in approximately forty-five minutes, and I imagine Lady Caenis will come looking for you well before then.β
He was right, of course. And the trellis was creaking more ominously by the second, and your arms were beginning to ache from holding your weight, and your fingers were getting scraped by the rough wood and thorns.
βWhy would you help me?β you asked suspiciously. βIβm trying to escape from marrying you. Shouldnβt you be trying to stop me?β
βPerhaps,β he said. βBut Iβm curious to see how far youβll get.β
Before you could respond to that utterly baffling statement, he had begun to climb. The trellis groaned in protestβit had barely been holding your weight, and now it had to support his as wellβbut somehow it held. Within moments, he had reached your position.
Up close, he was even more striking than you had thought from below. His silver-white hair fell across his forehead in a way that seemed almost careless. His eyes, the colour of ice over deep water, studied you with an intensity that made you want to look away.
But you didnβt. You held his gaze and tried not to think about how improper this was, the two of you clinging to a trellis together on the morning of your wedding, close enough that you could smell him.
βNow then,β he asked, quieter now. βWhere exactly were you planning to go, dressed like that?β
βAway,β you said. βAnywhere. Somewhere you couldnβt find me.β
βAh. And you thought climbing over the garden wall was the best route?β
βIt seemed like a good idea at the time.β
βMost people who attempt to flee an arranged marriage at least have the good sense to change out of their wedding attire first.β
βI did not have the time,β you said. βArielle only left for five minutes, and I had to seize the opportunity.β
βArielle is your maid?β he asked.
βYes. The poor thing is probably having hysterics right about now, wondering where Iβve gone.β
The Kingβyour husband-to-be, though you could hardly believe itβtilted his head slightly. βYou know,β he said, βwhen Lady Caenis told me you had arrived yesterday, I thought about coming to greet you. I got as far as the corridor outside your chambers.β
You stared at him. βWhat?β
βI stood there for ten minutes, trying to decide what to say. How to explainβ¦β He trailed off, looking away for the first time since heβd climbed up to meet you. βIt does not matter. I didnβt come in. I left. And then at dinner, Iβ¦ I know how it sounds, but you must believe me. I was truly indisposed. I know what you must think of me.β
βWhy?β you asked. βAm I truly so horrific to look at?β
His eyes snapped back to yours. βOn the contrary. We should get down from here before this entire structure collapses and we both end up in the rose bushes.β
Β Having said this, the King began to climb down, and you followed, more carefully now, acutely aware of how close he was, how his body moved gracefully despite the precarious footing. When you reached the bottom, he held out a hand to help you down the last few feet. Your feet touched the grass, and you stood in the garden, cheeks aflame, your ridiculous wedding gown covered in dirt and torn lace and your hair coming loose from its pins.
βSo,β the King said, βwhat will it be, my lady? Will you run, or will you stay?β
βYou will not force me?β you asked.
βI may be a king, my lady, but I am no brute,β he said. βIf you do not wish to marry me, we shall cancel the wedding immediately.β
βTell me something,β you said. βAnd I want the truth.β
βAll right.β
βDo you want this marriage?β
βNo,β he said. βI donβt. I do not want to bind myself to someone who will likely grow to hate me, and perform a ceremony in front of hundreds of people and pretend that this is anything other than a political arrangement.β
The chapel bells began to ringβnot the full peal that would announce the start of the ceremony, but the warning bells that meant it would begin in thirty minutes.
βIf I stay,β you heard yourself say, βand walk down that aisle and marry youβwhat happens then? What kind of marriage will this be?β
The King was quiet for a moment, considering. βI cannot promise you love, or even affection. I have a temper, and Iβm not always kind, and there are things about me that will likely make you regret this decision. But I can promise to treat you with respect, and to speak with you as an equal. I can promise to give you as much freedom as I can within the constraints of this life.β
βTell me your name, Your Highness,β you said. βI should like to know this, at least, before we are to be wed.β
βPhainon,β he said, a little half-smile gracing his lips. βMy name is Phainon.β
βPhainon,β you repeated, testing the way it rolled off your tongue. It was a strange name, foreign-sounding, but you liked it. In turn, you gave him your own name, which Phainon said once, and then once more, his smile widening. The bells rang again. Twenty-five minutes.
βI need to know,β Phainon said quietly. βAre you going to run?β
βNo,β you said. βIβm not going to run.β
βYouβre certain?β
βYes.β
βThank you,β Phainon said.
βDo not, yet,β you said wryly. βIβve a temper too, you know. And a sharp tongue. And I donβt take well to being ordered about.β
βI would expect nothing less from a woman who tried to escape her own wedding by climbing over a garden wall,β Phainon said. βCome. Letβs get you cleaned up.β
He led you back through the gardens, not towards the main entrance where servants and guests might see you, but along a hidden path that wound between the hedges. You followed, your torn wedding gown trailing behind you. Upon reaching the servantsβ entrance, Phainon led you through the corridorsβuntil you ran into Lady Caenis.
She took one look at you both, at your torn dress and loosened hair, Phainonβs garden-stained shirt and your joined hands, and went pale.
βYour Highness,β she said faintly. βMy lady. Whatβhow did youββ
βMy bride went for a walk in the garden,β Phainon said. βShe needed some air before the ceremony. Nerves, you understand. I happened upon her and offered to escort her back.β
βOfβ¦ of course, Your Highness,β Lady Caenis said. βMy lady, shall we get you back to your chambers? I shall send for Arielle to make someβ¦ repairs to your gown.β
βYes, I suppose that would be wise,β you said, before turning to Phainon. βI shall see you at the altar, Your Highness?β
βYou shall,β he said, smiling once more. βDonβt be late, my lady. I should hate to have to come looking for you again.β
You let Lady Caenis lead you away, back to your chambers. As Arielle exclaimed over the state of your dress and began the work of making you presentable again, you found yourself thinking about Phainon.
You had come to this palace expecting a monster. A cold, cruel prince who would treat you as some rare trinket or jewel. Instead, you had found⦠what? Not love, certainly. Not even affection. But perhaps something that could become those things, given time and patience.
βMy lady,β said Arielle. βYouβre smiling! Iβve never seen you smile like that, in all the hours Iβve spent with you.β
βAm I?β you said, touching your lips and finding Arielle was right. βHow strange. I hadnβt realised.β
When the ceremony was finished and Phainonβs lips had touched yours and you had bid farewell to your brother, Phainon took your hand in his. You refused to cry in front of Mydeimos, though your chest ached when he turned his back on you and loped back to his carriage.
βI have a surprise for you,β he said.
βA surprise?β you said, and found you were smiling so wide your cheeks pained. βHow nice!β
Perhaps it was relief that the ceremony was over, that you had survived the endless procession down the aisle, your hand tucked into the crook of Mydeimosβ arm, and persisted through the archbishopβs droning voice and the vows that had felt both impossibly heavy and strangely weightless on your tongue. Perhaps it was simply that you were trying very hard to be optimistic of this new life.
Whatever the reason, you found yourself genuinely pleased by the prospect of a surprise. How thoughtful of him, you thought. How kind, to think of giving you something on this day that had already been so overwhelming.
βWhere are we going?β you asked as Phainon guided you down a corridor you had not explored. The palace was a maze, with identical marble floors and soaring ceilings that made you feel very small.
βYouβll see,β he said.
You walked in silence for several minutes, your wedding gown rustling with each step. Arielle had worked miracles with the torn lace and garden stains, but you could still see the evidence of your attempted escape if you looked closely enoughβa small rip near the hem, a faint smudge of dirt on the silk. You found yourself oddly fond of these imperfections. They were proof that something real and true had happened this morning, something that belonged to you and Phainon alone.
Finally, he stopped before a pair of ornate doors, larger than the others you had passed, carved with intricate patterns of flowers and vines that seemed to twist and grow across the dark wood. Two footmen stood at attention on either side, and they bowed deeply as you and Phainon approached.
βOpen them,β Phainon said.
The doors swung open to reveal a long gallery, flooded with light from tall windows that ran the length of one wall. The other wall was lined with more portraitsβqueens, you realised, generations of them staring down at you, their faces serious and severe. At the far end of the gallery, another set of doors stood open, revealing a glimpse of rooms beyond.
Phainon led you forward, and you found yourself looking around in wonder. The gallery was beautiful in a way that felt less cold than the rest of the palace. There were fresh flowers in vases in side tables, and the furniture looked comfortable rather than merely decorative.Β
βThese,β Phainon said, gesturing at the doors at the far end, βare your apartments. The Queenβs apartments. We renovated them after my mother passedβthey had been closed up for years, and I thoughtβ¦ I thought you might appreciate them far more than I would.β
You looked up at him in surprise. βYou renovated them? For me?β
βThe work was completed last month,β he said. βI wanted you to have something that was yours, and yours alone.β
Your chest felt tight with emotion. He had thought of you, had planned for your comfort, even while he was avoiding meeting you. It was such a contradiction: the man who couldnβt face you, and yet had taken the time to ensure you would have a home waiting.
βThank you,β you said softly. βThat was very thoughtful of you.β
He inclined his head, acknowledging your thanks, but his expression remained difficult to read. βWould you like to see them?β
βOf course.β
He led you through the gallery and into the apartments beyond. The rooms were magnificent. The receiving parlour was decorated in shades of cream and gold, with furniture that looked both elegant and comfortable. Beyond it, you could see a bedroom with a massive four-poster bed draped in silk, and what looked like a dressing room and private study. French doors opened onto a balcony which opened out to the garden.
βThereβs a music room as well,β Phainon said, pointing to another door, βand a small library. I wasnβt certain what your interests were, but I thoughtβwell, I thought it best to provide options.β
You turned in a slow circle, taking it all in. This was to be your home. βItβs beautiful,β you said, and meant it. βTruly, Phainon, this isβ¦ thank you.β
He smiled, then, small and tentative, but genuine. βIβm glad you like it. I worried you might find it too formal, or not to your taste, but Lady Caenis assured meββ
βItβs perfect,β you interrupted. βTruly.β
You thought, then, that perhaps this marriage might not be so terrible after all. Perhaps you could be happy here, in these beautiful rooms with this man who had tried so hard to make you comfortable.
βThereβs something else I need to show you,β he said. βCome with me.β
You followed him back through the gallery, back into the corridor, and then down a different path entirely. This part of the palace was quieter and less ornate. The portraits here were of kings rather than queens, and they looked even more severe than their female counterpartsβmen with hard eyes and harder mouths, who looked like they had never smiled in their lives.
Phainon stopped before another set of doors. These were not as grand as the ones that led to your apartments, but they were still impressive: dark wood carved with geometric patterns, simple but elegant.
βThese are my apartments,β Phainon said. βThe Kingβs apartments.β
βOh,β you said, uncertain why he was showing you this. βTheyβre very nice.β
He didnβt open the doors. Instead, he turned to face you, and you saw that his expression had changed entirely. The man who had climbed the trellis this morning, who had smiled at you and held your handβthat man was gone. In his place stood the King you had heard about in rumours and whispers. Cold, remote, untouchable.
βThere is something I must tell you,β he said. βSomething I should have told you this morning, but Iβ¦ I lacked the courage.β
ββ¦What is it?β
βWe will not be sharing apartments,β he said flatly. βYou will live in the Queenβs chambers. I will live in the Kingβs chambers. We will maintain separate households, separate lives. You will have your dutiesβpublic appearances, charitable work, whatever other obligations come with being Queen. I will have mine. We will see each other when necessary for official functions, and of course for the production of an heir, but otherwiseβ¦ Otherwise we will live separately.β
You stared at him, certain you must have misheard. βSeparately?β
βYes.β
βBut we just married,β you said, and your voice sounded strange in your own ears, high and thin and confused. βWe just made vows. We justβthis morning, you said you would treat me with respect, that we would have honesty between us, thatββ
βAnd I will,β Phainon interrupted. βI am treating you with respect by being honest with you now. This is how it must be. This is how it will be.β
βBut why?β you said. βI donβt understand. If you didnβt want to be married to me, why go through with the ceremony at all? Why renovate my apartments and give me a library and a music room and make everything beautiful if you were just going toβto exile me on one side of the palace while you hide away on the other?β
βBecause this is what is best,β he said. βFor both of us.β
βBest? Best for whom, exactly? Because it certainly doesnβt feel the best to me. I left my home, my brother, everything Iβve ever known! I tried to run this morning, and you found me, and you gave me a choice, and I chose to stay. I chose you! And now youβre telling me that was a mistake?β
βIβm not saying it was a mistakeββ
βThen what are you saying?β Your voice was rising now, but you did not care if servants heard, if the entire palace heard. βExplain it to me, Phainon. Make me understand why you would show me kindness this morning only to take it away now.β
He turned away from you, his shoulders tense. βI am the King,β he said, flatly. βAnd as your King, this is what I order. We will live separately. That is final.β
βYouβre hiding behind your crown,β you said, sharp as glass and twice as cutting. βYou are using your authority as King because you do not want to give me a real answer. What are you so afraid of?β
βI am not afraid!β he snapped, before taking in a breath shudderingly, and continuing, eyes downcast, βI am not afraid. This is the kindest thing I can do for you. You will have your freedom, your independence. You will be Queen in name and power, but you wonβt have toβyou wonβt be burdened withβyou will have a good life here. I will make certain of it. You will want for nothing. You will have everything a queen could desire.β
βExcept a husband,β you said.
βIββ
βI see. Youβve made your position clear, Your Majesty. As my King, you have ordered that we live separately, and as your subject, I must obey. Isnβt that right?β
βDonβt,β Phainon said. βDonβt do this. Donβt twist this intoββ
βVery well, Your Majesty.β You drew yourself up, straightened your shoulders, and looked at your husbandβyour Kingβwith all the dignity you could muster. βI shall retire to my apartments. I assume youβll send word when you require my presence for official functions?β
βPleaseββ
βThat will be all, yes, Your Highness? Unless there is something else you need to inform me of? Any other surprises youβve been saving for our wedding day?β
Phainon looked stricken, his face pale, but he shook his head.
βThen I bid you good night, Your Majesty,β you said, dipping your head in a bow before turning and walking away. Your wedding gown trailed behind you, and you held your head high even though your vision was blurring with tears you refused to shed.Β
You found your way back to your apartments and closed the doors behind you. Only then did you let yourself lean against the carved wood, only then did you let the tears fall.
You had been so foolish.
This morning, on that trellis, you had thought you understood Phainon. You had thought he was like youβtrapped, frightened, trying to be brave. You had thought perhaps you could be allies, and could face this marriage together and make something bearable out of a situation neither of you wanted.
How foolish youβd been!
He didnβt want an ally or a partner. He wantedβ¦ what? A queen who stayed in her own apartments and didnβt ask questions? A wife who existed only when he needed her for public appearances or the production of an heir?
You slid down to the floor, wounded and terribly lonely, and cried for your brother, who you had left behind, and your home, which you would never see again.
Thus did your honeymoon pass, in isolation and brittle solitude, and how desperately did you yearn for companionship for the duration of it! Arielle was chatty and talkative, but your positions could not allow for the kind of casual, mundane conversations that were allowed between friends. Lady Caenis, perhaps having taken pity on you, sent word for a lady she trusted, a friendβs daughter of the same age as you, and invited her to the Queenβs chambers for tea one evening.
Lady Castorice was slight but sturdy, her long, pale hair twisted into an elaborate braid and her hands folded neatly over the folds of her lavender gown.
βMay I speak freely?β you asked immediately, upon settling down on the chaise in your parlour.
Lady Castorice blinked, surprised by the question. She glanced at Arielle, who was fussing with the tea service on a nearby table, then back at you. βYour Majesty,β she said, βI am not certain what you mean.β
βI mean,β you said, βmay I speak to you as one person to another, rather than as Queen to subject? May we have an actual conversation, rather than a formal, stilted exchange where you tell me the weather is lovely and I agree?β
To your great relief, Castorice smiled, warm and genuine.
βI think I should like that very much, Your Majesty,β she said.
You gave her name. βPlease, when weβre alone like this, call me as such. Iβve been called Your Majesty or some other variation of it nearly seven hundred times in the past week, and if I hear it seven hundred and one times, I fear I might do something very undignified.β
Lady Castoriceβs smile widened. βThen you must call me Castorice. Or Cas, if you preferβmy nephews all call me Cas, and Iβve rather gotten used to it.β
βItβs a beautiful name,β you said. βWhere does it come from?β
βMy motherβs family,β Castorice said as Arielle brought over the tea service and began pouring. βTheyβre from the northern provinces, near the border. The names there are all rather old-fashioned. My nephews got luckyβtheyβre called Marcus and Julius, which are perfectly normal. I got stuck with Castorice.β
βI think it suits you,β you said warmly.
Arielle finished serving the tea and withdrew to the corner of the room, giving you and Castorice the illusion of privacy even though you both knew she was there, listening, as was her duty. But it was something, at least. Better than sitting alone in your beautiful apartments with no company but your own increasingly bitter thoughts.
βLady Caenis told me youβve been rather lonely since the wedding,β Castorice said.
βThe truth is Iβve been going slowly mad with nothing to do but wander around these apartments and stare at the walls,β you said. βI tried reading, but I canβt seem to concentrate. I tried the pianoforte in the music room, but Iβm dreadfully out of practice and it just made me feel worse. Mostly Iβve just beenβ¦β Crying? Raging? Wondering if I made the worst mistake of my life?
βAdjusting?β Castorice supplied gently.
βSomething like that.β
Castorice set down her teacup. βMay I speak freely as well?β
βPlease do.β
βThe palace is full of gossip,β Castorice said bluntly. βEveryone is talking about the new Queen who arrived a day before her wedding, and who has not been seen in public since. Theyβre saying the King has sent you away, that heβs displeased with you.β
You felt your cheeks flush with anger and humiliation. βOf course they are. What else would they say?β
βIβm telling you this not to upset you,β Castorice said quickly, βbut because I thought you ought to know whatβs being said. I want you to know that I do not believe a word of it.β
βYou donβt?β
βNo. Iβve known His Majesty since we were childrenβmy family has always been close to the royal family, and I spent a great deal of time at the palace when we were young. I know that whatever is happening between you and the King, it is not because heβs displeased with you.β
βHow can you possibly know that?β you asked. You hated how desperate you sounded, how much you wanted her to be right.
Castorice leaned forward, her voice dropping. βI saw him the day after your wedding. I was visiting Lady Caenisβsheβs a sort of aunt to me, though not by bloodβand he came to speak with her about some household matter. I have never seen Phainon look like that.β
βDid he say anything?β you asked. βAbout me?β
βNot to me. But I heard him speaking to Lady Caenis as I was leaving. He asked her to make certain you were comfortable, that you had everything you needed. He asked if you were eating properly, if you seemed unwell. When Lady Caenis told him youβd been cryingβ¦ He looked as though she had struck him.β
You didnβt know what to do with all this information. It didnβt change anythingβPhainon had still banished you to separate apartments, broken the promise he made on the trellis, and chosen to hide rather than face whatever it was he was so afraid of. This did, however, serve as proof that he was not entirely indifferent, that your pain had affected him.
Though perhaps that made it worse. If he cared, if your tears troubled him, why would he do this to you in the first place?
βI donβt understand him,β you said quietly. βOne moment heβs kind, the next heβs cruel. One moment heβs giving me a choice, the next heβs ordering me to live separately as though Iβmβas though Iβm some sort of inconvenience to be managed.β
βMen are often cruel when theyβre frightened,β Castorice said. βEspecially men with power.β
βWhat could he possibly be frightened of?β you said. βHe is the King. He has everything.β
Castorice took a sip of her tea, her expression thoughtful. βI do not know, but I do know that Phainon isβ¦ complicated. He always has been, even as a child. He feels things very deeply, but heβs learned to hide it so well that most people think heβs cold and unfeeling.β
βYou speak as though you know him well.β
βI did, once,β she said. βWe were playmates as children. He, myself, and a few other children of the noble families. We used to run wild through the palace gardens, getting into all sorts of mischief.β
βWhat changed?β
βHis mother died when he was ten. The Queen. She wasβ¦ she was wonderful, kind and warm and everything a mother should be. When she died, it was as though something in Phainon died with her. He withdrew into himself, and stopped playing with us or smiling so freely. His fatherβthe old Kingβtried to reach him, but Phainon wouldnβt let anyone close. He built walls around himself, and over the years, those walls just got higher and higher.β
You understood this. You had built quite a few walls yourself after your parents died.
βHow did the Queen die?β you asked.
βFever,β Castorice said. βIt swept through the palace one winter. Many people diedβservants, courtiers. The Queen was tending to the sick, as was her custom. She never cared much for her own safety when people needed help. She fell ill herself, and within three days, she was gone.β
βThat is terrible,β you said.
βIt was. The Kingβthe old King, I meanβwas never the same either. He loved her desperately, you see. After she died, he threw himself into his work, into ruling, and Phainonβ¦β Castorice shook her head. βPhainon was left to grieve alone.β
βI wishβ¦β you said, βI wish to understand why heβs doing this. I want him to talk to me like he did that morning, honestly and without hiding behind his crown. I wantβI want to not feel so terribly alone.β
βYou are not alone,β Lady Castorice said firmly. βI shall come visit you every day if you like. We can take tea together, or walk in the gardens, or simply sit and talk about nothing in particular. And if you need someone to rage at about your impossible husband, well, Iβm an excellent listener.β
You smiled. βThank you. Truly, Castorice, Iβ¦ thank you.β
βWhat are friends for?β
You spent the next hour talking, the way you used to with Mydeimos when you were younger. Castorice told you about her family, her two little nephews who rode horses and fenced, her mother who was constantly trying to marry her off to unsuitable men. You told her about Kremnos, about your estate and the tenants you had grown up knowing, about Erinyes and how much you missed her.
βYou could send for her, you know,β Castorice said when you mentioned your former maid. βAs Queen, you have the authority to hire whomever you wish for your household staff. If you want Erinyes here, simply send word to your brother. Iβm certain he would release her from service.β
βTruly? I thoughtβLady Caenis said tradition required all Queenβs staff to be palace employees.β
βLady Caenis is very attached to tradition,β she said diplomatically, βbut tradition is not the law.β
βTell me something,β you said, pouring yourself more tea. βDo you know why Phainonβwhy the Kingβnever married before now? He must be, what, five and twenty? Six and twenty? Thatβs quite late for a royal marriage.β
Castoriceβs expression became guarded. βHe is seven and twenty. As for why he waitedβ¦ there are rumours, of course.β
βWhat sort of rumours?β you asked.
βNothing substantiated. Just whispers, speculation. Some say he refused every match his father proposed because he was too particular, andβand there are those who say heβs been unwell, that he apparently has episodes where heβs not quite himself. Thatβs why he is so reclusive, why he avoids social occasions when he can. The old King tried to keep it quiet, but servants talk, and rumours spread.β
Dearest Gentle Reader,
It is a jarring turn of affairs that has made the ton increasingly worried about why, exactly, the King chose to marry a woman who was never seen in public again after the day of their wedding.
Three weeks have now passed since the ceremony, and yet Her Majesty remains conspicuously absent from all public functions. The King attended the opening of Parliament alone, dined with foreign ambassadors alone, and even presided over the annual charity ballβtraditionally the Queenβs purviewβalone, looking as forbidding and unapproachable as ever.
Some say the King and Queen maintain separate households entirely. Others whisper something more troubling: that the marriage has not been consummated at all. The succession, after all, depends upon an heir. And an heir requires a certain degree of proximity between husband and wife, the last this author checked. One can only hope His Majesty comes to his senses before his queen decides that the crown is not worth the loneliness and abandonment it brings.
Yours truly,
Lady Whistledown.
You threw the pamphlet down on the dining table, a disgusted sneer twisting your lips. βIs this truly what they write about me? They think I have been abandoned?β
True as it may be, you certainly did not want for the entirety of British genteel societyβor, indeed, the whole of Englandβto think that their King and Queen were stuck in a loveless farce of a marriage. It was despicably dishonourable and jilting.
Lady Caenis stepped forward. βYour Highness, there may be a ratherβ¦ simple solution to this.β
βAnd what is it, Lady Caenis?β
βSeduce the King,β the old lady said simply.
You stared at her, certain you had misheard. βI beg your pardon?β
βSeduce the King,β Lady Caenis repeated. βGet yourself into his bed. Make him consummate the marriage. Give him an heir, or at least make it clear to the palace staff that youβre attempting to do so. The whispers will stop once people believe the marriage isβ¦ functioning as it should.β
You felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment and indignation. βLady Caenis, Iβthat isβyou cannot possibly be suggestingββ
βI am suggesting exactly what you think Iβm suggesting, Your Majesty,β she said. βYou are a married woman now. You have duties, and chief among them is the production of an heir. The King may have decided to live separately from you, but that does not exempt either of you from the fundamental requirements of your positions.β
βHe doesnβt want me,β you said. βHe made that abundantly clear when he exiled me to these apartments.β
βWant and need are different things,β Lady Caenis said pragmatically. βThe King may not want a wife in the traditional sense, but he needs an heir. You need to secure your position. The solution is obvious.β
You stood up from the table, too agitated to sit still. βYou are talking about it as though itβsβas though itβs some sort of transaction. As though I must simply march into his chambers andβandββ You couldnβt even finish the sentence, so flustered were you by the entire conversation.
βThat is precisely what it is, Your Majesty. A transaction. This is not a love match. We all know that. But it is a royal marriage, and royal marriages have certainβ¦ requirements. You must get the King into bed, and you must do so in a way that ensures he returns regularly enough to get you with child.β
βI donβt know how toββ You stopped, mortified. βIβve no idea how to seduce anyone.β
βIt is not so complicated as you might think, Your Majesty,β the stewardess said. βMen, even kings, are relatively simple creatures when it comes to certain matters.β
βI will not debase myself byβby throwing myself at a man who does not want me. I have some dignity left, Lady Caenis, even if Phainon seems determined to strip me of everything else.β
βDignity,β said Lady Caenis, βwill not give you an heir, nor will it stop the whispers. And it certainly will not keep you warm at night when youβre still alone in these apartments five years from now, with no children, no purpose, and a husband who has grown so accustomed to your absence that he forgets you exist entirely.β
You stared at the old woman, seeing the hard truth in her eyes. She was right, and you knew it, even if you hated admitting it. βYou speak very plainly, Lady Caenis,β you said.
βSomeone needs to. Everyone else will dance around the issue with pretty words and false sympathy, but that will not help you. You need practical advice, and Iβm giving it to you.β She moved to pour herself a cup of tea from the service on the sideboard. βThe King is a man like any other. He has physical needs, even if he pretends otherwise. Your job is to remind him of those needs and present yourself as the solution.β
βAnd how, exactly, am I supposed to do that?β you asked. βI donβtβIβve neverββ
βYouβre a virgin, yes, and I suppose you do not know theβ¦ logistics behind this whole debacle,β Lady Caenis said, taking a sip of her tea. βThat is fine. Many men prefer that in a wife, though the King likely doesnβt care one way or another. What matters is that you learn to use what you have.β
βUse what I have?β
βYour body, Your Majesty. Your youth, your beautyβyes, you are beautiful, donβt look so surprisedβand the simple fact that you are his wife and therefore the only woman he can bed without causing a scandal. Men are not complicated in this regard. They respond to proximity, to a woman who makes it clear she is available and willing.β
You felt as if you were dreaming. This could not be real. You could not be standing in your breakfast room receiving instruction on how to seduce your own husband from a woman old enough to be your grandmother.
βI do not even know where his chambers are,β you said weakly. βNot exactly, I mean. I know theyβre in the west wing, butββ
βSecond floor, end of the corridor, doors with the royal crest carved into them. You cannot miss it,β Lady Caenis explained. βYou shall need to go at night, obviously. After the servants have finished their evening duties but before he retires. Around ten oβclock would be appropriate.β
βAnd Iβm just supposed toβ¦ knock on his door? Walk into his bedroom?β
βYouβre his wife. You donβt need an invitation.β
βOf course.β
βOne more thing,β she said. βWhen you do get him into bedβand you will, if youβre persistentβdonβt expect tenderness. Donβt expect romance or sweet words or any of the things girls dream about. Expect it to be quick, possibly awkward, and almost certainly uncomfortable the first time. But that doesnβt matter. What matters is that you do it, and that you do it often enough to conceive.β
After Lady Caenis left, you sank back into your chair and stared at the discarded copy of Lady Whistledownβs paper. The words seemed to mock you: The marriage has not been consummated at all. Was that what everyone thought? That you were so undesirable, so inadequate, that your own husband wouldnβt even bed you?
Lady Caenis was right, as much as you hated to admit it. You needed to do something. You needed to take action, seize some control over this situation that had spiralled so completely out of your hands.
You stood up and walked to the mirror that hung above the sideboard, and looked at yourself, trying to see what Phainon might see. Your face was pallid from too much time indoors, and there were shadows under your eyes from too many sleepless nights. But you were young, and Lady Caenis had said you were beautiful, and surely that counted for something.
Your wedding gown had been beautiful too, before youβd torn it climbing that trellis. Perhaps you needed something else beautiful. Something that would make Phainon look at you and remember that you were his wife, that he had chosen you.
βArielle!β you called, and your maid appeared almost instantly.
βYes, Your Majesty?β
βI need you to find me something to wear,β you said. βSomething suitable for visiting the King in his private chambers in the evening.β
Arielleβs eyes widened. βOf course, Your Majesty. I have just the thingβa nightgown that came with your trousseau, made of white silk, very fine, with lace at the bodice.β
βPerfect,β you said.
Phainon did not look at all surprised to see you.
This was, perhaps, the most disconcerting thing about the entire situation. You had spent the better part of three hours preparing yourself: bathing in water scented with rose oil, letting Arielle brush your hair until it shone, slipping into the white silk nightgown that left very little to the imagination and wrapping yourself in a dressing gown for the walk through the corridors. You had rehearsed what you might say, how you might explain your presence at his door at half past ten in the evening.
You had not, however, prepared yourself for the way he simply stepped aside and gestured for you to enter, as though he had been expecting you all along.
βCome in,β he said, his voice quiet.
You stepped past him into his chambers, acutely aware of how thin the silk of your nightgown was, how the dressing gown did very little to preserve your modesty. The Kingβs apartments were darker than yours, decorated in deep blues and greys rather than the lighter colours Lady Caenis had chosen for you. A fire burned in the hearth; there was a desk covered in papers, a sitting area with two chairs, and beyond that, through an open doorway, you could see his bedroom.
Your stomach twisted with nerves.
Phainon closed the door behind you. When you turned to face him, you say that he was dressed for bed himselfβdark trousers and a white shirt, unbuttoned at the collar, with the sleeves rolled up to reveal strong forearms. His hair was slightly disheveled, as though he had been running his hands through it agitatedly.
βLady Caenis sent you here, I presume,β Phainon said, moving past you toward the sideboard where a decanter of amber liquid was placed.
You blinked. βHow did youββ
βI met with Lady Caenis this afternoon.β He poured himself a drink and held up the decanter in silent question. You shook your head. βShe also informed me that she had advised you to takeβ¦ direct action regarding our current predicament.β
Heat flooded your face. βShe told you that?β
βNot in so many words. But Lady Caenis has been managing the palace household for thirty years. Sheβs remarkably skilled at communicating without being explicit.β
βSo you knew I was coming,β you stated, unsure whether to be mortified or angry. βYou knew what Iβwhat I intendedββ
βTo seduce me?β Phainon said. βYes, it seemed the logical next step, given Lady Caenisβ particular brand of pragmatism.β
βAnd youβre justβ¦ what? Amused by this?β you said. The anger was winning now, hot in your chest. βYou think itβs funny that Iβve been humiliated enough by these three weeks of separation that Iβm reduced toβto throwing myself at you in the middle of the night?β
βI donβt think itβs funny at all,β he said. βI think itβs proof that Iβve handled this entire situation abominably, and that youβre paying the price for my cowardice. But I let you in because when Lady Caenis told me you might come here tonight, IβI couldnβt stay away.β
Your heart was hammering so hard you could hear it in your ears. You took a step forward, then another, until you were close enough to reach out and touch him.
βDo you want me?β you asked, the words coming out braver than you felt. βNot because we need an heir, or because Lady Caenis says we should. Do you want me? As a man wants a woman?β
Phainon inhaled, his eyes fluttering shut. βMy God. You must think I am a fool, for Iβve wanted you every single day since the wedding, and itβs been torture staying away.β
Something loosened in your chest. You reached up and let the dressing gown slip from your shoulders. It pooled at your feet in a whisper of silk, leaving you in only the thin white nightgown that Arielle had picked specifically because it left very little to the imagination. Phainonβs eyes darkened, tracking the movement of the fabric as it fell, and you saw his hands fist at his sides.
βThen stop talking,β you said, βand show me.β
Phainon closed the distance between you and captured your mouth with his, nothing like the chaste, brief brush of lips at your wedding ceremony. His hands came up to tangle in your hair, tilting your head back so he could deepen the kiss, and you gasped against his mouth. You found yourself pressing closer, your hands sliding from his face to his shoulders to his chest.
βWe shouldnβt do this,β he said, pulling back, but even as he spoke, his lips were brushing against your jaw, your throat, the sensitive spot just below your ear that made you shiver. βYou should go back to your chambers. This isβwe shouldnβtββ
βStop talking,β you said again, and pulled him down for another kiss.
His hands moved from your hair to your waist, pulling you flush against him, and you felt the evidence of his desire pressing against your hip through the thin fabric of your nightgown. The sensation made heat pool in your belly, made you arch into him with a small sound. He broke the kiss to look at you, searching your face, and whatever he saw there seemed to satisfy him, because he bent and lifted you into his arms.
You gasped, your arms coming up to loop around his neck. βWhat are youββ
βBed,β he said simply, and carried you through the doorway into his bedroom.
The room was lit only by the fire from the main chamber, casting everything in shades of gold and shadow. He laid you on the bed; the sheets were cool against your heated skin. You looked up at him as he stood beside the bed, and thought he might change his mind and send you away after all.
Instead, he shrugged out his shirt, his hands moving to the buttons. Broad shoulders, defined muscles, a scattering of scars across his chest and abdomen that spoke of a life that had not been entirely sheltered or safe. He was beautiful in a way that made you want to reach out and trace every line, every scar, every plane of muscle with your fingers.
He caught you staring and paused, one eyebrow raised. βSecond thoughts?β
βNo,β you said. βMerelyβ¦ admiring the view.β
That earned you a surprised laugh, genuine and warm. He finished removing his shirt and let it fall to the floor, then moved to the bed, bracing one knee on the mattress.
βMay I?β he asked, his hands hovering near the straps of your nightgown.
βYes,β you breathed.
Slowly, he began to slide the silk down your shoulders, down your arms, exposing you inch by inch to his gaze. His fingers were warm against your skin, leaving trails of heat in their wake, and you shivered despite the fire burning in the hearth. When the nightgown finally pooled around your waist, you fought the urge to cover yourself, instead forcing yourself to lie still and let him look at you, even though your cheeks were burning with embarrassment and something warmer.
βBeautiful,β he murmured. His hand came up to trace the curve of your collarbone with just his fingertips, feather-light. βYouβre so beautiful.β
His hand continued its exploration, sliding down to cup your breast, and you arched into his touch with a gasp. His thumb brushed across your nipple, sending sparks of pleasure straight through you, making you squirm beneath him.Β
βSensitive,β he observed, satisfied. He leaned down, replacing his thumb with his mouth, and you gasped, your hands flying up to tangle in his hair.
Phainon took his time, alternating between gentle kisses and firmer pressure, using his tongue and teeth in ways that made you writhe beneath him. When he moved to give your other breast the same attention, you were already trembling, already desperate for something you couldnβt quite name.
βPhainon,β you gasped, tugging at his hair. βPleaseββ
βPlease what?β he asked against your skin; you could feel him smiling.
βI donβt know,β you admitted, frustrated and aroused in equal measure. βJustβmore. I need more.β
βPatience,β he said, but his hands were already moving lower, sliding the nightgown down past your hips, past your thighs, until you could kick it off entirely. You were bare beneath him, completely exposed, and you felt suddenly vulnerable. He leaned down to kiss you again, his tongue sliding against yours, and his hand was sliding between your thighs.
His fingers moved slowly, parting you gently and finding places that made you gasp and arch and whisper his name. He watched your face as he touched you, as though cataloguing every response, every reaction, learning what made you sigh and what made you moan.
βYouβre so warm,β he said, his voice rough. βSo soft. Tell me if this is all right.β
βItβsββ You broke off with a gasp as his finger found a particular spot, circling it with maddening gentleness. βYes. Yes, thatβsβdonβt stop.β
Phainon didnβt. He continued his ministrations, gradually increasing the pressure, the speed, until you were writhing beneath him, your hips moving in rhythm with his hand. He slid one finger inside you, and the feeling was so overwhelming you cried out, your back arching off the bed.
βEasy,β he soothed, holding still. βJust breathe, my love. Does it hurt?β
βNo,β you managed. βItβs justβitβs a lot.β
βI know.β He began to move his finger slowly, carefully, letting you adjust to the intrusion. βTell me if it becomes too much.β
It wasnβt too much. If anything, it wasnβt enough. You could feel something building inside you, something that made you restless and desperate and utterly focused on the sensation of his hand between your thighs.
He added a second finger, and you gasped at the stretch, at the fullness. It was almost uncomfortable, but he curled his fingers just so and found a spot inside you that made stars burst behind your eyelids.
βThere,β you gasped, your hands fisting in the sheets. βRight there, pleaseββ
He obliged, stroking that spot while his thumb circled the sensitive bundle of nerves above. The dual sensations were overwhelming, maddening, and you could feel yourself climbing towards something, some precipice youβd never reached before.
βThatβs it,β he encouraged, his voice low and approving. βLet go for me. I want to see you come apart.β
You did. The tension that had been building suddenly snapped; pleasure crashed over you in waves that made you cry out his name, your body clenching around his fingers as you shook and trembled beneath him.
When you finally came back to yourself, trembling and gasping, you found him watching you with wonder.
βThat wasββ You stopped, unable to find words for what youβd just experienced.
βBeautiful,β he finished for you. βYouβre beautiful like this.β
He withdrew his hand slowly, and you whimpered at the loss, at the sudden emptiness. But Phainon stood, removing the rest of his clothing, and your attention was immediately captured by the sight of him fully naked.
He was magnificent, all lean muscle and smooth skin, andβ
Your eyes widened at the sight of his arousal, hard and flushed.
βWill itββ You stopped, embarrassed. βWill it fit?β
That surprised another laugh out of him, though this one was strained. βYes. Though it might be uncomfortable at first. But Iβll go slowly, I promise.β
He returned to the bed, settling between your thighs, before kissing you again, long and deep, and you felt him position himself at your entrance.
βMay I?β he asked again.
You nodded, not trusting your voice.
The pressure was immediate. You moaned, your hands flying to his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin. He was bigβbigger than his fingers had beenβand the stretch burned in a way that bordered on painful.
βBreathe,β he murmured, holding perfectly still. βJust breathe.β
You did, forcing yourself to relax, to let your body adjust to him. Gradually, the burning sensation eased, replaced by a fullness that felt strange but not unpleasant.
βMove,β you said, and he pushed forward another inch.
You could feel yourself stretching to accommodate him, could feel every ridge and vein as he slowly, carefully worked his way inside you. It seemed to take forever, this gradual joining, and by the time he was fully seated inside you, you were both breathing hard.
βGod,β Phainon gasped, his forehead dropping to rest against yours. βYou feelβyouβre so tight. So perfect.β
βYou can move,β you said, experimentally rolling your hips.
The movement made you both gaspβhim with pleasure, you with surprise at the feeling it created.
βAre you certain?β he asked.
βYes. Please, Phainon. Move.β
He did, pulling out slowly before pushing back in. You gasped, your legs coming up to wrap around his hips, and the new angle let him slide even deeper. He set a careful rhythm, slow and steady, watching your face for any sign of discomfort. But the pain had faded now, replaced by pleasure that built with each stroke, each slide of his body against yours.
βFaster,β you breathed, your fingers digging into his shoulders. βPleaseββ
He obliged, increasing his pace, and you met him thrust for thrust, your hips rising to meet his. The pleasure built and built, spiralling higher with each movement. Phainonβs breathing was ragged now, your name falling from his lips. You could feel him beginning to lose control, his thrusts becoming less controlled, more desperate.
βI canβtββ he gasped. βIβm going toββ
βYes,β you urged, feeling your own climax approaching, that same tension building in your core. βYes, Phainon, pleaseββ
He thrust deep one final time, and you felt him pulse inside you as he found his release, his whole body going rigid above you. It pushed you over the edge as well, and you cried out, your body clenching around him as waves of pleasure crashed through you for the second time that night.
Finally, Phainon shifted, pulling out of you carefully. You winced at the soreness, the unfamiliar ache between your thighs. He noticed immediately.
βDid I hurt you?β he asked.Β
βNo,β you said. βItβs justβtender. Is that normal?β
βFor your first time, yes.β He rolled to lie beside you, immediately reaching for you and pulling you against his chest. βIt will be better next time. Less uncomfortable.β
βNext time?β
βIf you want there to be a next time,β he amended quickly. βIβm notβI wonβt forceββ
βI want there to be a next time,β you said, pressing your face against his shoulders. βMany next times, preferably.β
You fell asleep like that, wrapped in each otherβs arms, and you thought that if this was what marriage could be, then perhaps you could be very happy here after all.
βYou asked me to bed herβI have! You asked me to provide her a companionβI asked Lady Castorice to provide her with companionship! Lady Caenis, I truly do not understand what more you want from me!β
βHer cycle is still regular, Phainon,β you heard the old lady snap. The door to the main dining hall was ajar, and though you could not see the two figures quarrelling inside, you could certainly hear them, loud and clear. βHow often have you been bedding her? Once, twice? The Crown needs an heir!β
You stood frozen in the corridor, your hand raised to push open the door, your heart pounding. You had been on your way to meet Phainon for luncheonβhe had started inviting you to dine with him occasionally over the past two weeks, stiff and formal affairs where you made polite conversation and tried not to think about the three times he had summoned you to his chambers in the dark of the night with a brief message: The King requests your presence.
Three times you had gone to him, had let him undress you and bed you. He was always careful not to hurt you, always made certain you found some measure of pleasure in the act, but there was something perfunctory about it now. You had told yourself you were imagining it; you convinced yourself that perhaps this was simply how married couples conducted themselves, that the desperate passion of that first night had been an aberration rather than a rule.
βOnce or twice a week is not sufficient,β Lady Caenis was saying. βYou need to be visiting her chambers every night, or better yet, move her into yours properly. The longer this takes, the more people will talk, and the more they talk, the more theyβll questionββ
βI am doing the best I can,β Phainon interrupted. βI have given her what she wanted. I have dined with her, spoken with her, and fulfilled my marital obligations. What more can I possiblyββ
βYou can give her a child! That is your duty as King, Phainon. Your only duty that truly matters. Everything elseβthe dinners, the companionship, the occasional night in her bedβall of it is meaningless if you cannot produce an heir.β
βI am tryingββ
βNot hard enough, clearly. Her courses came again this morning. Arielle informed me.β
ββ¦I see,β Phainon said.
βDo you understand what will happen if you do not get her with child soon?β the stewardess challenged. βThe whispers have already started again. People are saying the marriage is cursed, that youβre incapable, that sheβs barren. And if those whispers continue, if months pass with no announcement of an heirββ
βI understand the political ramifications, Lady Caenis.β
βThen act like it! Stop treating this like some burden you can attend to whenever itβs convenient. She is your wife, Phainon. Your queen. And she deserves better than to be summoned to your chambers twice a week like someβsome courtesan youβre obligated to pay.β
You felt numb. Was that what you were to him? Was that how he saw those nights in his bedβas transactions, obligations, duties to be performed and then forgotten?
βYou donβt understand,β Phainon said quietly. βYou do not know what youβre asking of me.β
βIβm asking you to do what every king before you has done: to lie with your wife often enough to get her with child.β
βYou want me to go to her every night, to pretend that Iβmβthat weβreββ He stopped, seeming to struggle with the words. βYou want me to lie to her and make her believe this is something itβs not.β
βI want you to do your duty,β Lady Caenis said firmly. βWhatever pretty illusions you need to accomplish that, I donβt care. But she needs to conceive, Phainon. Soon.β
You couldnβt stand hearing them discuss you as though you were some broodmare whose only value lay in your ability to produce offspring. You couldnβt bear to hear Phainon talk about bedding you as though it were a chore, an obligation, something he had to force himself to do.
You did the foolish thing and knocked on the door.
βEnter,β Phainon called out.
You pushed the door open and bent in a curtsey. βGood afternoon, Your Highness. Forgive me for being lateβI was admiring some portraits in the gallery and lost track of time.β
Phainonβs face shifted through several expressions in quick succession: surprise, concern, before settling into the carefully neutral mask he wore so well. Lady Caenis, standing near the window with her hands folded before her, looked at you sharply, as though trying to determine whether you had overheard anything.
βOh,β said Phainon, and his voice was gentler than usual, almost tentative. βYouβre not late at all. I was justβLady Caenis and I were discussing palace business. Nothing of consequence.β He gestured to the table, where luncheon had been laid out. βPlease, sit. You must be hungry.β
You moved to your usual chair, acutely aware of both of them watching you. Your hands were trembling slightly, so you folded them in your lap where they couldnβt be seen. You felt exposed, as though the conversation you had overheard had stripped away some protective layer you hadnβt known you possessed.
Lady Caenis curtseyed briefly. βI shall leave you to your meal, Your Majesties.β
Phainon took his seat across from you. A servant appeared to pour wine and serve the first courseβsome sort of soup with herbs floating on the surfaceβand then retreated to the shadows.
βThe portraits in the gallery,β Phainon said, picking up his spoon but not eating. βWhich ones were you looking at?β
βThe queens,β you said. βThere are so many of them. All those women who came before me, who sat in my chambers and wore my crown andββ You stopped yourself before you could say and warmed the Kingβs bedchambers when duty demanded it.
βThey are an impressive lineage. My mother used to tell me stories about some of them when I was a child. Queen Hecuba, who ruled as regent for ten years when my great-great-grandfather was too ill to govern. Queen Hippolyte, who established the first hospitals in the city. They were all remarkable women. As are you.β
The compliment landed wrong, felt hollow somehow, though you couldnβt tell if that was because of what you had overheard or because of something in his tone. You picked up your own spoon and forced yourself to ladle the soup.
βYouβre too kind, Your Highness,β you murmured.
βPhainon,β he corrected. βWhen weβre alone, I wish you would call me Phainon. We are husband and wife, after all.β
You said nothing, only nodded and took another spoonful of soup.
Phainon watched you for a moment longer, then seemed to come to some decision. He set down his spoon and leaned forward slightly. βI wanted to askβhow are you finding palace life? I know itβs been an adjustment, being separated from your home and your brother. If there is anything you need, anything at all that would make you more comfortableββ
βIβm quite comfortable, thank you,β you said automatically.
βAre you truly?β Phainonβs pale blue eyes searched your face. βBecause you seemβ¦ unhappy. And I thought perhapsβI thought perhaps we might spend more time together. Not just these formal luncheons, butβI donβt know. Perhaps you might show me the gardens youβve been exploring? Or we could ride together? I understand youβre an excellent horsewoman.β
You stared at him, trying to reconcile this version of Phainonβearnest, almost nervousβwith the man you had heard in this very room just minutes ago, talking about bedding you as though it were an unpleasant chore.
You want me to lie to her and make her believe this is something itβs not. Was this the lie, then? This sudden interest in spending time with you, in making you happy? Was this another obligation he was fulfilling because Lady Caenis had told him to try harder?
βThatβs very thoughtful of you,β you said carefully, βbut I wouldnβt want to take you away from your duties. I know how busy you are.β
βMy duties can wait,β the King said. βIβI know I havenβt been the husband you deserve. I want to do better. I want to try to make this marriage into something more than justβ¦ than just what itβs been.β
βAlright, Your Highness,β you said quietly, because who were you to disobey the King? βI would like to walk in the gardens with you very much.β
βThat is the Ophrys apifera,β Phainon said, trudging along the gravel path with your hand tucked neatly into the crook of his arm, βmore commonly known as the bee orchid. It is interesting to look at, is it not?β
You followed the direction of his gaze, to where a cluster of pale blossoms bowed beneath the late-afternoon sun. They were delicate things, ivory petals blushed faintly pink, their centres dark and velvety, uncannily like the bodies of bees poised mid-hover. Pretty, in an odd way. You hummed, noncommittal, and allowed him to guide you a few steps further along the gardens, where the hedges were clipped so neatly they might have been carved from stone. The afternoon sun filtered through the arches overhead, dappling his sleeve, your skirts, the path beneath your feet.
βThey deceive pollinators,β he continued, undeterred by your lukewarm response. βThe flower mimics the appearance and scent of a female bee. The males are drawn to it, believing it something it is not.β
βThat seems rather cruel.β
βI imagine nature does not particularly care.β
βI didnβt know you took an interest in botany,β you said.
βI pride myself on my agricultural knowledge,β Phainon said, with a twitch to his mouth that suggested he was attempting modesty. βIf I can make the lives of our farmers, who toil endlessly, easier, then that is a job well done, donβt you think?β
You considered him sidelong as you walked, the way the sun caught in his hair and turned it almost pale gold, the faint crease between his brows that never quite smoothed out, even when he smiled. He did not look like a man who spent much time thinking about crops and irrigation and soil health, and yet perhaps that was precisely why he did. A kingβs mind, you were learning, rarely stayed where appearances suggested it ought to.
βI suppose it is, though I imagine they might appreciate lower taxes just as much as improved yields. What flower is that?β you asked, pointing to a cluster of blue flowers.
βDelphinium,β Phainon answered. βTheyβre rather poisonous, actually.β
Slowing your steps, you peered more closely at the tall blue spires edging the path. Up close, the flowers were impossibly intricate, each petal folded and layered, their colour deepening towards the centre like ink dropped into water. It seemed absurd that something so ornamental, so clearly cultivated to please the eye, could harbour harm.
βThey donβt look like it,β you said.
βNo,β he agreed. βThey were brought here from the western valleys. The soil there is thin and rocky. Farmers cultivate them mostly for trade nowβthereβs a demand for the extract among apothecaries.β
βWhat happens if someone touches them?β
βOh, thatβs quite harmless. Itβs ingestion that causes trouble. Numbness at first. Then confusion. In sufficient quantitiesβ¦ Well, the gardeners are well-trained.β
βI should hope so,β you said. βIβd hate to think the palace lost staff simply because someone fancied a taste of blue flowers.β
He laughed at that, bright and startled. βYouβre not wrong. Lady Caenis would have my head if I let something so avoidable occur.β
The mention of her name made you wonder, not for the first time, how much of this walkβthis easy conversation, these small smilesβhad been orchestrated at her insistence. Would he still be here, at your side, pointing out flowers and indulging your questions if she had not decided it was necessary?
It did not matter. Enjoyment, even borrowed, was enjoyment nevertheless.
βThose are foxgloves,β Phainon said, following your gaze before you could ask. βDigitalis. Another poisonous one, Iβm afraid.β
βIs everything here trying to kill us?β you asked, only half joking.
Phainon then pointed out chamomileββgood for calming the stomach,β he said, βand the nerves, if one is inclined to believe the old wivesβ talesββand rosemary hedges planted near the edges of the beds, meant to deter insects while scenting the air.
βIt thrives in poor soil,β he explained. βFarmers plant it near their fields when the land has been overworked. It stabilises the ground and gives it time to recover.β
βLady Caenis told me that Lady Whistledown has written about us again,β you said one night, curled up in Phainonβs arms, spent and deliciously exhausted. βIt appears the general public is awaiting the news of an heir.β
βYou know I donβt care about what others say,β Phainon said, running a hand up the curve of your spine. His lips were near your neck, and you could feel his mouth move against your skin as he spoke. βI am their King and you are their Queen; questioning either of us seems extremely redundant.β
βThey say our palace walls are too high,β you mumbled, turning around in his arms to face him.
Though you were not certain what your feelings for Phainon truly were, you knew this: you were friends, or at least, so you thought. Walks in the gardens had become commonplace now, as had sharing his bedchambers and eating dinner together. So rarely did you have time to do anything else, apart from your official duties and spending time with your husband, that seeing Lady Castorice now had become a rare occurrence.
The bedchamber was lit only by the glow of a single lamp left burning on the side table. It painted Phainonβs bare shoulders in gold and shadow, traced the line of his collarbone, the faint sheen of sweat still clinging to his skin. The sheets were in disarray around you, twisted and rumpled evidence of what the two of you had been doing only moments ago.
βToo high,β he echoed softly, amusement threading his voice. βIs that meant to be criticism?β
βI wouldnβt know,β you said. βLady Whistledown does enjoy her metaphors.β
Phainon huffed a quiet laugh. βShe should be grateful for the walls. They keep us safe.β
βThey keep everyone out,β you countered. βNo one ever sees us.β
βThey see us often enough.β
βOnly at court,β you said, shifting slightly, fitting yourself closer to him without much thought. βShe says it makes us inaccessible.β
βAnd does that trouble you?β he asked.
You felt him inhale, the rise and fall of his chest beneath you. Your fingers curled lightly into the sheet near his shoulder. βI donβt know. I think I mind being talked about more than I mind being unseen.β
He hummed softly. βPeople will always talk. If not about our absence, then about our presence. If not about walls, then about heirs.β
βYes. That.β You sighed. βLady Whistledown seems convinced the whole country is holding its breath.β
βLet them suffocate.β
βThatβs not very kingly of you,β you said, though you laughed despite yourself. You studied his face, the way his expression softened when he wasnβt being observed. Whatever this was between youβfriendship, affectionβfelt nice.
βTheyβll start inventing reasons,β you said quietly. βThey already have. First it was the wedding being too rushed; then it was our separate schedules. Now itβs the walls.β
Phainonβs hand slid from your back to your hip, thumb pressing just slightly into the flesh. βThen perhaps we should give them fewer reasons.β
You lifted yourself a fraction, propping yourself up on one elbow so you could see him properly. βYouβre suggestingβ¦?β
βA ball.β
βA ball,β you said.
βYes.β His other hand came up to your side.
You searched his face for irony and found none. βYou realise that will only invite more scrutiny.β
βI realise it will redirect it,β he said. βTheyβll talk about gowns and music and who danced with whom instead of royal babies.β
βAnd you think thatβs preferable?β
βI think,β Phainon said, eyes flicking briefly to your mouth before meeting your gaze again, βthat it would be good for them to see us together properly.β
βTogether how?β
βDancing. Laughing. Beingβ¦ married, and happy.β
You swallowed. βYou donβt dance.β
A corner of his mouth lifted. βI can learn.β
βFor the sake of the country?β
βFor the sake of my wife,β he said.
You shifted without thinking, knee sliding between his thighs. His breath hitched in response; his grip on you tightened just enough that you felt it everywhere.
βYouβre very convincing when you want to be,β you mumbled.
βI havenβt even begun to convince you,β he replied, before leaning in, lips brushing your jaw, then the corner of your mouth. When you tilted your head to meet him, he kissed you properly, slow and unspooling. His mouth was warm, coaxing.
βWe could host it within the month,β he whispered, pulling back just slightly. βBefore the court grows restless.β
Your hands slid up his arms, fingers tracing muscle and scar alike. βAnd what would Lady Caenis say?β
βShe would say itβs overdue,β he said, grinning, βand insist on seating charts and guest lists.β
βAnd on making sure I smile often enough.β
βSheβll insist on that regardless.β
You laughed softly. βThen why does this feel like your idea?β
He paused, and for a moment you thought he might deflect, turn it into another dry remark about duty or politics. Instead, his hand slid up your back, fingers threading into your hair. βIs it so much of a crime for a husband to want to see his wife happy? You are happy, are you not? With me?β
βThe happiest,β you promised, and found it to be true.Β
You were happy. You were not certain what it was, this strange, golden thing that blossomed like a bud in full bloom whenever you were near Phainon. The other day, in the gardens, heβd pointed out a bed of merry sunflowers to you; they exhibited heliotropism, heβd explained, in the sense that they turned their heads to wherever the sunlight was the brightest. Perhaps that was how you were with Phainonβhe was the sunlight, and you were the sunflower, basking in his warmth and glow.
He answered by kissing you again, deeper this time, mouth parting over yours, tongue tracing the seam of your lips before you even realised you were opening for him. His hand slid between you, and you gasped softly into his mouth, fingers clutching at his shoulder. He broke the kiss only to murmur your name, before trailing kisses along your jaw, down your throat.
βWe should plan itβthe ball,β you breathed, even as your body betrayed you, arching into his touch.
βWe will,β he said. βTomorrow.β
βAnd the music?β
βWeβll have the orchestra.β
βThe guest list?β
βIβll let Lady Caenis handle that.β
βYouβre very brave to entrust such a task to her,β you said.
Phainonβs mouth curved into a smile against your collarbone. βI have excellent motivation.β
You tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging just enough to bring his face back to yours. βAnd what would Lady Whistledown say if she could see us now?β
His eyes darkened. βSheβd run out of ink.β
The thought made you laugh again, the sound dissolving into a soft gasp as his fingers slid into your warm heat once more, drawing you closer and winding you tighter. You pressed your lips to his once more, silencing whatever he might have said next.
Your courses came as per usual, and you sighed and told Arielle glumly to fetch you another washing-cloth. Lady Caenis would not be pleased, and neither would Phainonβthough you knew his affection for you was not because of your ability to bear him an heirβbut the day of the ball was tomorrow, so you were determined to remain in good spirits.
Arielleβs face was sympathetic as she handed you the linen. βShall I inform the stewardess, Your Majesty?β
βNo,β you said quickly, then reconsidered. βActually, yes. Better she hears it from you than discovers it herself somehow. She always seems to know anyway.β
βAs you wish, Your Majesty.β Arielle curtseyed and slipped away, leaving you to sink back against the pillows of your bedβyours and Phainonβs bed, you reminded yourself, though in this moment it felt cavernous and empty.
It had been three months of sharing his chambers, falling asleep in his arms and waking to his kisses, learning the rhythm of his breathing and the warmth of his skin against yours. Three months of trying, hoping, waiting for some sign that all of this intimacy and tentative affection would result in the heir everyone so desperately wanted.
You pressed a hand to your flat stomach, willing yourself not to feel like a failure. It was early yet, you told yourself. These things took time. Your own mother had not conceived Mydeimos until two years into her marriage.
You were still dwelling on it an hour later when there came a sharp knock at the door, and Lady Caenis swept in. Her face was set in lines of severe disapproval, her hands clasped tightly before her.
βYour Majesty,β she said. The two words felt like a reprimand all on its own.
βLady Caenis.β You straightened, trying to arrange yourself into something resembling regal composure despite the cramping in your abdomen. βI assume Arielle has informed you.β
βShe has,β the stewardess confirmed. βThis makes three months, Your Majesty. Three months with no result.β
βIβm aware of how long itβs been,β you said.
βIt appears you and His Majesty have been ratherβ¦ distracted. With garden walks and private dinners and this ball youβve convinced him to host.β
βThe ball was his idea,β you protested.
βWas it?β Lady Caenis raised a silver eyebrow. βOr was it another way to avoid the real issue at hand? To distract the courtβand yourselvesβfrom the fact that you have yet to conceive?β
βWe are trying, Lady Caenis. Every night, weββ You stopped, your cheeks flushing hot. βIt is not as though weβre notβ¦ fulfilling our obligations.β
βIs that what you think this is about, Your Majesty?β
βIs that not what you told Phainon three months ago? That his only duty that truly matters is getting me with child?β
Lady Caenis went very still. βYou heard that conversation.β
βI did,β you said.Β
βI see.β She was quiet for a moment. βThen you should also have heard me tell His Majesty that you deserved better than to be treated as an obligation. You deserve a husband who wanted you, not one who was merely going through the motions.β
βHe does want me,β you said. βWeβre happy. Weββ
βTruly?β Lady Caenis challenged. βOr are you simply playing at happiness while avoiding the reality of your situation?β
βWhat situation?β Your hands fisted in the sheets. βThat I havenβt conceived yet? Thatβs hardly unusual, Lady Caenis. My own mother took two yearsββ
βYour mother,β she interrupted, βwas not Queen. Your mother did not have an entire kingdom watching her, waiting for her to fail. Your mother did not have a husband whoββ She stopped abruptly, as though catching herself before saying something she shouldnβt.
βWho what?β you demanded. βSay it, Lady Caenis. Donβt stop now.β
The stewardess shook her head. βIt is not my place to discuss His Majestyβsβ¦ concerns with you. However, if you and His Majesty continue to avoid discussing those reasons, to hide behind balls and garden walks and pretending everything is fine when it is notββ
βWeβre not pretending! Weβre trying to be happy. Is that so wrong? Why canβt you just let us have this?β
βBecause happiness built on avoidance is not happiness at all, Your Majesty. It is merely another form of hiding, and sooner or later, what youβre hiding from will catch up with you.β
Lady Caenis left then, her skirts swishing against the floor, and you were alone again with your disarrayed thoughts and the growing fear that perhaps she was right.
Phainon returned to the chambers later that afternoon, his face drawn and tired. He had been in meetings all dayβsomething about shipments and trade agreementsβand you could see the tension in his shoulders, the tightness around his eyes.
βHello,β he said, and moved to kiss you, but you turned your head so his lips caught your cheek instead of your mouth. He pulled back, frowning. βWhatβs wrong?β
βNothing,β you said. βHow were your meetings?β
βTedious.β He studied your face, those pale blue eyes searching. βHas something happened? You seemβ¦β
βMy courses came,β you said. βThis morning. Arielle informed Lady Caenis, and Lady Caenis came toβ¦ express her disappointment.β
βWhat did she say to you?β
βDoes it matter? She said what everyone is thinkingβthat three months is too long; that weβre distracted; that weβre avoiding the real issue.β
βThe real issue,β Phainon repeated.
βThe heir, Phainon. The one thing all of this is supposed to be about.β You gestured between you, at the bed, at the chambers you shared. βIsnβt that what you said to her? That you were just going through the motions?β
βNo, Iββ
βNo, I want to know,β you said. βIs that what this is? All of itβthe garden walks, the dinners, the ball tomorrowβis it all justβ¦ just performance? Another way to fulfill your obligations while making it look like weβre actually happy?β
Phainonβs expression shuttered, closing off in that way you had come to recognise and dread.Β
βHow am I supposed to know anything about you?β you pressed on. βYou wonβt talk to me about anything that actually matters. You wonβt tell me what Lady Caenis means when she says you have reasons. You wonβtββ
βWhat did she tell you?β
βNothing! Thatβs the problem! Everyone seems to know something I donβt. Everyone has some secret theyβre all keeping from me, and Iβm supposed toβto what? Smile and pretend everything is fine? Keep trying to get pregnant without knowing why itβs not happened?β
βIt has been three months. Thatβs nothing. These things take timeββ
βThen why did Lady Caenis make it sound like thereβs more to it than that?β you challenged. βWhy did she talk about your concerns, your reasons, aboutββ
βShe had no right to say anything to you,β Phainon said, and now he was angry too, you could see it in the set of his shoulders, the clenching of his jaw. βThis is precisely why I didnβt want her interfering. She canβt help herself, always pushing, alwaysββ
βAlways telling the truth? God forbid someone actually be honest with me about what is happening in my own marriage.β
βI have been honest with you,β Phainon snapped. βIβve triedββ
βYouβve tried to make me happy,β you retorted. βThatβs not the same thing as being honest. That is simply another form of managing me, of deciding what I can and cannot handle.β
βBecuase you canβt handle it!β The words exploded out of him, and you could see he immediately regretted it. βI didnβt meanββ
βNo, say it,β you said. βSay what you really think. That Iβm too fragile, too weak, tooββ
βThatβs not what I meantββ
βWhat is it I canβt handle?β
Phainon stared at you, his face pale, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. βI think that this conversation has gotten out of hand. Weβre both upset. Perhaps we shouldββ
βAdd it to the list of things we donβt talk about?β You shook your head. βI cannot keep doing this, Phainon.β
βWhat do you want from me?β he asked; there was genuine confusion in his voice, as though he truly didnβt understand. βIβve given you everything I can. Iβve moved you into my chambers, Iβve spent every night with you, Iβve tried to make you happy. What moreββ
βI want you to trust me! I want you to stop protecting me from things and justβjust let me in! Is that so hard?β
βI cannot,β he said quietly.
βWhen can you tell me?β you said. βWhen will you be ready? When Iβm pregnant? When we have an heir? When youβve decided Iβve proven myself worthy of the truth?β
βItβs not about worthinessβIβm doing the best I can,β Phainon said. βI swear to you, Iβm tryingββ
βWell, maybe your best isnβt good enough!β
Phainon flinched as though you had struck him. The colour drained from his face; he simply stood there, staring at you, his lips pressed together. Without a word, he turned and walked toward the door.
βWhere are you going?β you called after him, panic suddenly replacing anger.
βI donβt know,β he said without turning around. βSomewhere you donβt have to look at me and be reminded of how inadequate I am.β
βPhainonββ
But he was already gone, the door closing behind him with a soft click that somehow felt worse than if he had slammed it. The evidence of your shared life now seemed to mock youβhis papers on the desk, your book on the nightstand, the tangled sheets that still smelled like both of you.
This wasnβt how it was supposed to be. You were supposed to be happy.
How could you have said that he wasnβt trying hard enough? How could you have looked at himβat the man who had tried so hard to overcome his own fears and wallsβand told him his efforts were worthless?
The door opened again. Wildly, you thought Phainon had come back, but it was only Arielle, her face concerned.
βYour Majesty, I heardβthat isββ She stopped. βShall I fetch you some tea?β
βWhere did he go?β you asked.
βHis Majesty? I saw him hurrying towards the west wing. The old Kingβs study, I think.β
The west wing. As far from these chambersβfrom youβas he could get while still remaining in the palace.
βLeave me, please, Arielle. I wish to be alone,β you said.
On the eve of the ball, everything was gorgeous.
You danced with Phainon, and he held your hand throughout, and you tried not to pretend there was a large lump in your throat every time you looked at him.
It was a success. Everyone had seen you and Phainon together, smiling and dancing and playing the part of the happy royal couple. Lady Whistledown would write something glowing, no doubt, about how in love you appeared, how well-matched, how perfect, and it was all a lie.
No, that wasnβt quite right. It wasnβt all a lie. The affection between you was real. The friendship was real. The nights you had spent in each otherβs arms, learning each otherβs bodies and rhythms and habitsβthose were real.
Thus, faced with nothing but your own thoughts and misery for companyβfor Phainon had retreated to his study the minute the ball endedβyou realised you loved him.
You loved him. You loved his careful intelligence, the way he could recite facts about flowers and farming with equal enthusiasm. You loved the rare, genuine smiles he gave you when he thought no one else was watching. You loved the way he held you after making love, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin, his breathing slowing to match yours.
You rolled over, pressing your face into his pillow, breathing in the faint scent of him that still lingered there, and finally, finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
βWhat has Lady Whistledown written about me today?β you said, once Lady Castorice had settled into the chair across from yours. Arielle hovered nearby, ready to pour tea at your beckoning, but otherwise, you and Castorice had the relative safety and privacy of your private drawing room.Β
Castorice pulled out the latest paper from her reticule, unfolding it with a slight smile. βShall I read it to you, or would you prefer to suffer through it yourself?β
βRead it,β you said, leaning back in your chair. βIβm not sure I can bear to look at it directly.β
Castorice cleared her throat and began:
Dearest Gentle Reader,
This author is delighted to report that the ball hosted by Their Majesties last evening was an undisputed success. The King and Queen appeared in perfect harmony, dancing with grace and evident affection for one another. Her Majestyβs gown was a beauty of sapphire and lace, and His Majestyβs attentiveness to his wife was noted by all in attendance. Whatever concerns this author may have previously expressed about the state of the royal marriage appear to have been unfounded.Β
The King and Queen are, clearly, quite content in each otherβs company, and the eveningβs festivities have done much to silence the more skeptical voices at court.
You listened, feeling oddly deflated. βThatβsβ¦ actually rather nice.β
Castorice set the paper down on the table between you, her expression thoughtful. βHow have you been sleeping?β
βIβwhat?βΒ
βSleeping. You look tired.β Castorice studied your face with concern. βAre you unwell?β
βNo, Iβm justββ You stopped, considering. βActually, Iβve been sleeping terribly. Last night especially. The bed felt too large withoutββ You caught yourself, felt your cheeks warm. βWithout Phainon there.β
βAh. Yes, I heard from the footman that he spent the night in the west wing.β Castorice poured tea for both of you. βThat must have been difficult.β
βIt was necessary,β you said, perhaps too defensively. βWe both needed space afterβafter everything.β
βOf course,β your friend said, handing you a teacup. βThough I imagine His Majesty didnβt sleep well either. He rarely does, from what I understand.β
You looked up sharply. βWhat do you mean?β
βOh, nothing specific. Justβpalace gossip, you know how it is. The servants talk. Iβve heard that His Majesty is often awake at odd hours. Walking the corridors, working in his study. That sort of thing.β
βHe works too much,β you said. βIβve told him he needs to rest more, but he doesnβt listen.β
βMm. Though I wonder if itβs truly work that keeps him awake,β Castorice said. βMy own nephew has nightmares sometimes; he wakes the whole house with his shouting. My uncle wanted to send him to a specialist, but Marcus refused, because he said it would make him look weak.β
ββ¦Nightmares?β
βOh, itβs nothing serious. Just bad dreams from childhood that he never quite grew out of. But it does affect his sleep terribly.β She paused, then added, βI imagine anyone whoβs experienced terrible things at a young age might struggle with similar issues. The mind has difficulty letting go of such things.β
You thought about Phainon, about his motherβs death when he was ten, about all those nights you had slept peacefully in his arms while heβ
Had he been awake? Fighting off nightmares? Trying not to disturb you?
βAre you all right?β Castorice asked.
βYes, Iββ You shook your head. βSorry, I was simply thinking about something.β
βAbout His Majesty?β
βAbout everything,β you said. βMay I ask you something?β
βOf course, Your Highness.β
βI thinkβ¦ I think Phainon is hiding something from me.β
βWhat do you think heβs hiding?β
βI donβt know exactly,β you said, frustratedly setting your teacup down. βSomething about why heβs so afraid of getting close to people. Why he wanted separate chambers at first. Why heβwhy he sometimes looks at me like heβs waiting for me to disappear.β
βGrief does strange things to people,β Castorice said quietly. βEspecially when itβs complicated by guilt. When someone blames themselves for something that wasnβt their fault, it can shape how they see the world, and how they see themselves.β
βHis mother,β you said, and suddenly the answer seemed so simple to you, so obvious.
βAmong other things,β Castorice said, βbut thatβs not really my story to tell. If you want to know what His Majesty carries with him, youβll have to ask him directly. Or simply be patient enough that he tells you himself.β
You nodded slowly, understanding what Castorice wasnβt quite saying. Phainon had nightmares. Phainon blamed himself for his motherβs death, even though it wasnβt his fault. Phainon was afraid of losing people he cared about. Castorice was telling you this without actually telling you, because she knew Phainon wouldnβt want you to know; because she was your friend, but she was also loyal to him, and she was trying to help you both without betraying either of you.
βThank you,β you said quietly.
βAny time,β Castorice said, smiling. βThough next time, perhaps we could talk about something more cheerful? Like the fashion at the ball, or the truly scandalous amount of champagne Lord Ashford consumed?β
βHe was rather drunk, wasnβt he?β
βAbsolutely sotted. Iβm amazed he made it home without falling into a fountain.β
βIβm still rather surprised by Lady Whistledownβs paper this time,β you said. βLast time she wrote about us, she was speculating about whether the marriage had been consummated at all.β
Castoriceβs expression turned odd. βWhen was that?β
βWeeks ago. Around the time Lady Caenis was pressuring Phainon toββ You stopped, frowning. βWhy?β
βLady Whistledown,β she said carefully, βhas never written anything about whether your marriage has been consummated. Or about heirs, for that matter. Sheβs mentioned the palace walls, and your reclusiveness, and the general state of the marriage, but sheβs never been so vulgar as to speculate aboutβ¦ intimate affairs.β
You stared at her. βThatβs notβI read it myself. She wrote about how the succession depends on an heir, and how an heir requires proximity between husband and wife, andββ
βIβve read every single edition of Lady Whistledownβs papers since your wedding. I promise you, sheβs never written anything like that.β
βBut I saw it,β you insisted. βIt was in the paper. It saidβ
βWho gave you the paper?β Castorice asked quietly.
βArielle. She always brings me Lady Whistledownβs papers when theyβre published.β You felt something cold settle in your stomach. βAre you sayingβyou think someone fabricated it?β
Though Castorice did not say anything further, you knew what she was thinking. Someone wanted you to believe Lady Whistledown was writing about heirs and succession, someone who had a vested interest in making you feel pressured about conceiving.
Lady Caenis.
You had to tell Phainon.
You had to tell Phainon. The thought consumed you for the rest of your afternoon, through Castoriceβs departure and the hours that followed. You paced your drawing room, trying to organise your thoughts, trying to decide exactly how to approach this.Β
Lady Caenis had fabricated a Lady Whistledown paper; had manipulated you into feeling humiliated and pressured; had orchestrated that entire conversation for you to overhear. However, you needed proof. You couldnβt simply accuse the palace stewardess of such deceit based on suspicion alone.
You rang for Arielle, and she appeared immediately. βYes, Your Majesty?β
βDo you remember the Lady Whistledown paper you brought me several weeks ago? The one aboutβthe one about heirs and succession?β
Arielleβs brow furrowed. βYour Majesty, Iβm not certain I recallββ
βIt was the week before I had luncheon with His Majesty. The day you brought it to me at breakfast, and I was reading it with Lady Caenis before I left.β
βOh! Yes, I remember that morning, Your Majesty. Lady Caenis had asked me to deliver it to you specifically. She said it was important you read it before the next week.β
βAnd where did you get the paper from?β
βLady Caenis gave it to me directly, Your Majesty. She said it had just been published.β
βI see. Thank you, Arielle,β you said. βOne more thing: do we keep copies of old newspapers anywhere? An archive of some sort?β
βThe library maintains a collection of all published papers, Your Majesty,β she replied, βincluding Lady Whistledownβs publications. Would you like me to fetch something for you?β
βYes,β you said. βIβd like to see the Lady Whistledown paper from that same day.β
Arielle curtseyed and withdrew. You continued pacing, your mind racing. If you were right, and Lady Caenis had indeed fabricated that paper, then the libraryβs copy would be different from what you readβit would serve as ample proof.
Arielle returned twenty minutes later with a paper in hand. βFrom the date you specified, Your Majesty.β
You took, unfolding it, your eyes scanning the text. The article was about the palace walls, about your reclusiveness, about speculation on the state of your marriage. There was nothing about heirs or succession or conjugal proximity. The paper Arielle had brought you from the library was completely different from the one you had read that morning weeks ago.
Lady Caenis had fabricated an entire false newspaper to manipulate you.
βArielle,β you said. βPlease send word to His Majesty. Tell him I need to speak with him urgently, and ask him to have Lady Caenis present as well.β
βYour Majestyββ
βNow, please.β
Arielleβs eyes widened, but she hurried away.
βArielle said it was urgent,β Phainon said, his head tilted in that manner he had when he was confused. You had asked him and Lady Caenis to meet you in the formal receiving room rather than your private chambers. βWhatβs happened? Are you unwell?β
βIβm perfectly well,β you said. βThank you for coming, Lady Caenis.β
βOf course, Your Majesty,β she said. βHow may I be of service?β
You held up the paper in your hand. βIβve been reviewing some of Lady Whistledownβs publications. The one from several months ago, specifically; the day Iβforgive my crude manner of speakingβbut the day I first spent the night in His Majestyβs chambers.β
Phainonβs brow furrowed. βWhat about it?β
βIt was a week before I overheard your conversation with Lady Caenis before luncheon, about how I needed to conceive and how you were only bedding me out of obligation.β
Phainonβs face went pale. βIββ
βIβm not finished,β you said. βThe morning of the day we shared a bed, Arielle brought me a Lady Whistledown paper. One that discussed, in rather explicit terms, the question of whether our marriage had been consummated, whether we were capable of producing an heir. It was humiliating to read, and it made me feelβit made me feel like a failure.β
βI donβt understand,β Phainon said. βWhat does this have to do withββ
βLady Whistledown never wrote that article,β you said, holding up the paper. βThis is the real edition from that date. It mentions nothing about heirs or conjugal matters. The article I read that morning was fabricated.β
Phainon turned slowly to look at Lady Caenis. βWhat is she talking about?β
βYour Majesty,β Lady Caenis said, βIβm certain thereβs been some misunderstandingββ
βThereβs no misunderstanding! Arielle confirmed that you gave her the paper directly that morning, and that you specifically asked her to deliver it to me the week before the luncheon, whereβcoincidentallyβI overheard you discussing my failure to conceive with His Majesty.β
βYour Highness,β Lady Caenis said, patiently. βYou were under a great deal of stress at that time. Itβs possible you misremembered what you readββ
βI didnβt misremember.β You walked to the desk and laid out the paper. βHere. Read it yourself. Tell me where it mentions heirs or succession or any of the things I supposedly read. You fabricated a paper. You wanted me to feel pressured about conceiving. You orchestrated everything, all to manipulate me into seducing my husband!β
βThatβs a very serious accusation, Your Majesty,β Lady Caenis said.
βItβs also true, isnβt it?β
Phainon was staring at Lady Caenis with an expression youβd never seen beforeβsomething between shock and betrayal and cold, terrible anger. βDid you do this?β he asked.
Lady Caenis was silent for a long moment. βYes.β
βYou fabricated a newspaper,β Phainon repeated. βYou manipulated my wifeββ
βI did what was necessary,β Lady Caenis interrupted. βYour Majesty, you were avoiding your obligations. The Queen needed to conceive, and you were treating the marriage likeβlike one of your botanical studies. Something to be examined from a distance rather than actually engaging with.β
βThat was not your decision to make,β the King said.
βSomeone had to make it! You were content to keep Her Majesty in separate chambers, to visit her once or twice a week. The kingdom needs an heir, Your Majesty, and if you were not going to take that seriously, then yes, I took steps to ensureββ
βYou lied to her,β Phainon said. βYou manufactured evidence to make her feel humiliated and inadequate. You manipulated her into believing the entire kingdom was judging her for something that wasnβt even true.β
βI gave her motivation,β Lady Caenis said. βAnd it worked, did it not? You moved her into your chambers. You started spending every night with her.β
You felt sick, for she wasnβt entirely wrongβher manipulation had worked. You had gone to Phainonβs chambers that night. You had seduced him. You had pushed for more intimacy, more closeness, and yes, things had gotten better between you.
βGet out,β Phainon said.
Lady Caenis blinked. βYour Majestyββ
βGet out,β he repeated, louder now. βYou are dismissed from this conversation. In fact, youβre dismissed from your position, effective immediately.β
βYou canβt be seriousββ
βI am perfectly serious, I assure you.β Phainonβs voice was cold. βYou have served this family for decades, Lady Caenis, and I am grateful for that service. But what you didβmanipulating my wife, fabricating evidence, orchestrating situations for your own endsβthat is unforgivable. You are dismissed.β
Lady Caenisβ face had gone white. βYour Majesty, please. I was only trying to help. The successionββ
βThe succession is not your concern. Youβll have until the end of the week to organise your affairs and find alternative accommodations. Your pension will be provided and I shall ensure you have adequate references for future employment. But you will not remain in this palace.β
βPhainonβYour Majesty, please reconsider. Iβve dedicated my life to this familyββ
βAnd I appreciate that dedication, but it does not excuse what you did.β Phainon moved to stand beside you, and you felt his hand settle at the small of your back. βYou violated my wifeβs trust and manipulated her for your own ends, regardless of how noble you believed those ends to be. That is not acceptable.β
βI was only trying to protect the Crown,β Lady Caenis tried again, looking between the two of you beseechingly.
βI know,β said Phainon, βbut the Crown does not need protection from my wife.β
Lady Caenis clasped her hands tightly before her. βAs you wish, Your Majesty. Your Majesty.β She nodded to each of you in turn. βI hope youβll understand, someday, that I did what I thought was right.β
She left, the door closing quietly behind her, leaving you alone with Phainon. You stared at the closed door. Lady Caenis, the woman who had run the palace household for decades and seemed like an immovable fixture of your life here, was gone.
βAre you all right?β Phainon asked finally.
βI donβt know,β you said. βShould I feel guilty? She was only trying to help, in her own twisted way.β
He looked away, seeming terribly tired, and sighed. βIβm afraid I donβt know, either.β
Queen Audata was truly a magnificent figure in paint, and, not for the first time, you wondered what she was like as a person.Β
You had come to the portrait gallery late at night, unable to sleep. The conversation with Lady Caenis had left you feeling unsettled, restless. Phainon had returned to his study after she left, claiming he had work to finish, and you had spent the evening alone in your chambers; so, you had risen from the empty bed and wandered the corridors until you found yourself here, standing before Queen Audataβs portrait.
She had kind eyes. That was the first thing you noticed. Despite the formal nature of the painting, and the crown and the elaborate gown and the regal bearing, there was warmth in her painted eyes. She looked like someone who had laughed often, who had loved freely. You wondered if Phainon remembered that, or if his memories of her were coloured only by grief and guilt.
βShe would have liked you.β
You turned to find Phainon standing in the doorway of the gallery, still in his daytime clothes, his hair disheveled. He looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes, his shoulders tense.
βIβm sorry,β you said. βI didnβt mean to intrude. I couldnβt sleep, and Iβ¦β
βYouβre not intruding.β He moved into the gallery, coming to stand beside you. βI couldnβt sleep either.β
You looked at him more closely. βBad dreams?β
He went very still. βWhat makes you say that?β
βJust a guess,β you said. βIβve heard that people who experience terrible situations young often struggle with nightmares. The mind, apparently, has difficulty letting go of such things.β
βWho told you?β
βNo one told me anything directly,β you said truthfully, βbut Iβm not blind, Phainon. Iβve noticed youβre often awake at odd hours, and that you sometimes look exhausted even after a full night in bed. Iβve noticed that there are moments where you seemβ¦ elsewhere.β
He moved away from you, then, his arms crossed over his chest. βI didnβt want you to know.β
βI know.β
βIt makes me look weak.β
βI donβt believe it does, truly,β you said. βPhainon, you donβt have to tell me anything youβre not ready to tell me, but I want you to knowβwhatever keeps you awake at night, Iβm here.β
βYou canβt promise me that,β he said roughly. βPeople leave. People die.β
βPeople get sick, and their mothers nurse them, and sometimes those mothers catch the illness too,β you said quietly. βAnd sometimes cruel men blame children for things that arenβt their fault.β
Phainon turned to stare at you, his face silver in the moonlight. βHow did youββ
βI told you. I pay attention. And I understand why you wanted separate chambers at first.β
βI dream about it,β he said suddenly, the words spilling out. βAbout my mother dying, and my father telling me it was my fault. Sometimes Iβm ten years old again, burning with fever, calling for her. Other times Iβm watching her get sick, and I canβtβI canβt make her stay away from me, and then I wake up, and for a moment, Iβm convinced Iβm still that ten-year-old boy who killed his mother.β
βYou didnβt kill her,β you said firmly. βHow long have you been having difficulty sleeping?β
βSince she died. Seventeen years.β
βIs that why youβve been avoiding the bed? Since the fight? Not because you wanted space, but because you didnβt want to see me?β
He nodded, unable to meet your eyes. βIβve gotten good at waking myself up quietly, but I cannot always manage it. I thoughtβif you saw me like that, if you knewββ
βIβd realise I made a mistake in staying?β
βYes.β
You closed the distance between you and took his hands in yours. They were cold, trembling. βDo you love me?β
The question seemed to catch him off guard. βWhat?β
βDo you love me?β you repeated, looking up at him. βItβs a simple question, Phainon. Yes or no.β
He stared at you, and you thought he might deflect, might hide behind walls again. But he didnβt.
βYes,β he said. βYes. I love you. From theβfrom the moment I saw you on that trellis, covered in garden dirt, looking at me like I was the worst thing that had ever happened to you. I loved you then, and Iβve loved you every day since.
βI love you when youβre walking beside me in the gardens, asking questions about flowers you donβt actually care about just because you know it makes me happy to talk about them. I love you when youβre asleep, when you make that little sound right before you wake up, when you reach for me without opening your eyes. I loveβI love you so much it feels like I cannot breathe sometimes, if you are not near.β
You kissed him, then, pressing your mouth to his with an urgency that bordered on desperation. You wanted him to consume you, to make you his wholly and completely, for just as he was yours, so too were you his, and how nice this life would be! How nice, to stay in the comfort provided by darkness and the stars, and hide from the heavens forever.
synopsis: βthereβs something going on,β he says. βa chain of robberies, not random. itβs clean, professionalβin and out in under four minutes. iβve been watching them hit warehouses all across marmoreal. whatever theyβre after, itβs coordinated. and i canβt keep up on my own.β
in which spider-man enlists the help of his favourite detective to uncover a series of robberies in new okhema city.
tags: modern!au, spider-man!au, romance, angst, action, smut, frenemies to lovers. profanity, violence, oral sex, fingering, blood and injuries, mentions of drug abuse & human experimentation, etc.
word count: 19.5k
a/n: reposted from my old account. thanks for reading!
Phainon thinks heβs a pretty good guy.
Okay, maybe not, like, great. Heβs not out here winning humanitarian awards or remembering to replace the Brita filter before it turns green. But still. He flosses most nights, and tips well on the rare occasions he orders pizza for dinner. He saves cats from trees, catches robbers in the middle of getaway attempts, and makes a decent grilled cheese when the mood strikes. In the grand cosmic scale of morality, he figures that puts him somewhere between a broke college student and a D-list superhero with a heart of gold.Β
Which is why, as heβs currently being pursued across rooftops by New Okhemaβs most persistent detective, Phainon feels the situation is a little unfair.
βI donβt deserve to be chased like this!β he yells over his shoulder, breaths short, voice muffled through his mask as he narrowly avoids tripping over a pipe. βIβm a pretty good guy!β
The boots pounding behind him donβt slow. βYouβre obstructing justice!β
βYouβre harassing a concerned citizen!β
He vaults over a low vent and instantly regrets it, the rooftop pitching sideways beneath him as he skids and catches himself just in time to avoid faceplanting into a rusted-out AC unit. Graceful. So graceful. Just like the comics. His heartβs doing the worst kind of cardio in his chest, the kind that feels like guilt and adrenaline and that specific brand of dread that only ever shows up when youβre behind him.
Because if thereβs one thing Phainonβs sure of, itβs this: you hate him.
Maybe not, like, hate-hate. Maybe not enough to tase him out of the sky. But enough to chase him across rooftops with the hopes of finally arresting him for good.Β
He can live with that. Heβs been hated before. (He just wishes it didnβt make him kind of want your approval.)
βYouβre breaking at least three laws just by standing there!β you shout as he swings up and over the next building.
Youβre getting closer. He can hear it in your voiceβless winded than his, more focused. Heβs not sure if heβs impressed or terrified. Probably both.
βDo you ever take a break?β you snap as you land behind him with a clean, practiced roll.
Phainon whirls around, arms raised. βDo you ever let anyone live?β
Your eyes narrow like youβre imagining the paperwork it would take to make his disappearance look like an accident.Β
βOkay, okay! Truce! Five minutes.β He backs up, hands still in the air. βNo chasing or tasers. Please.β
You donβt answer, which means youβre at least considering it. Heβs getting good at reading your silences, which is probably not a good thing. He should stop doing that. He should stop noticing things about you at allβlike how you always pull your sleeves down when youβre thinking, or how you furrow your eyebrows when youβre about to disagree with someone but donβt want to start a fight.
βLook,β he says, tone dropping, just a bit. βThis isnβt about me dodging patrol or stealing snacks from that convenience store on 14th Streetββ
βYou stoleββ
βBorrowed,β he corrects quickly. βWith intent to pay.β
You stare at him. The wind rustles your coat. Somewhere, a siren wails and dies out.
βThereβs something going on,β he says. βA chain of robberies, not random. Itβs clean, professionalβin and out in under four minutes. Iβve been watching them hit warehouses all across Marmoreal. Whatever theyβre after, itβs coordinated. And I canβt keep up on my own.β
He expects you to laugh. Or roll your eyes. Or say something sharp and cutting thatβll make his stomach twist in that way he hatesβbecause youβre usually right.
βI think theyβre watching me,β he adds, quieter now. βI think someone knows who I am.β
The wind blows sharp across the rooftop, carrying the tang of rain and smoke and summer dust. It scrapes over the worn brick under Phainonβs boots and rustles your coat, but you donβt move. You just look at him, your face unreadable in the way that always makes his stomach knot a little too tight. Itβs the kind of stillness that unnerves himβnot because he doesnβt know what youβre thinking, but because he wants to. More than he should. Phainonβs chest rises and falls, just a little too fast.
βThatβs a bold claim,β you say slowly.
Yeah. He knows. He also knows youβre not brushing him off, which is scarier than if you had. Youβre listening, evaluating. That furrow between your brows is your tellβheβs seen it before, in passing shadows and glimpses from across precinct crime scenes. The way you tilt your head slightly to the left when youβre filing pieces together in real time.
βYou have proof?β you ask.
Phainon knows you wonβt move without proofβnot a whisper, not a theory, not a gut feeling scraped together from caffeine and paranoia. But he doesnβt have clean lines or neat bullet points. What he has is scraps; disconnected threads; a slowly closing hand around the back of his neck every time he turns a corner too sharp. And that feelingβthat awful, skin-tight certaintyβthat something out there has started moving towards him, not away.
βI donβt have anything concrete, butβ¦ Iβve been tracking the hits since the first one three weeks ago,β he says, starting to pace now, in small, tight circles, just enough movement to bleed out some of the nervous energy crawling up his spine. βTheyβre too clean. Like, unrealistically clean. No alarms triggered, no broken doors, no fingerprints. They even bypassed the retinal scanner at one of the biotech labs. Who does that? And for what? Theyβre not stealing cash or valuables. Theyβre taking very specific thingsβequipment, hard drives, chemical canisters.β
βShow me,β you say. Your eyes donβt leave his face. (Well, the mask. But he swears youβre looking through it.)
He blinks. βWhat?β
You cross your arms. βThe footage. The files. Whatever youβve got. If youβre serious about this, I need to see everything.β
βOh.β Phainonβs voice pitches up an octave in surprise. βCool. Okay. Should we, like, grab dinner? I know a good deli down at Kephale Plaza. Best dill pickle sandwiches on this side of Okhema.β
Phainon didnβt lie. Chartonusβ Deli, tucked between a laundromat and a building thatβs had a For Sale sign tacked onto the door for fourteen years, does serve the best dill pickle sandwiches in New Okhema City. The fluorescent sign above the deli flickers intermittentlyβCHART NUSβ on a bad night, HARTONUS DEL when itβs feeling generousβand the inside smells like mustard, old fryer oil, and vinegar.
Heβs perched in the booth furthest from the window, under a buzzing ceiling light that flickers every now and then. The vinyl seat squeaks every time he shifts, and the table has a wobble. Thereβs duct tape across the far corner of the laminate, and someoneβpossibly Chartonus himselfβhas carved NO CRYING IN THE DELI into the tabletop.
Phainon has his mask pulled up just past his nose, letting the cool air hit the sweat still clinging to his neck. His hairβs damp, and thereβs a tear in the seam of his left glove he only just now noticed. His sandwich is halfway demolished, crumbs gathering on the dark fabric of his suit, pickle juice already soaking into the paper wrapper.
He looks across the table at you. Youβre the only person in here not eating, only sipping from a chipped ceramic mug of what Chartonus had claimed was coffee with a shrug. Your coatβs slung over the back of your seat, and your badge is tucked out of sight, but everything about you still screams copβstraight spine, steady eyes, the way your fingers twitch every time the door jingles.
βI told you,β Phainon says around a mouthful of rye and mustard. βBest sandwich in the city.β
βThis is where you wanted to debrief?β
He shrugs. βThey know my order here.β
You roll your eyes and pull the folder Phainon had handed you on the rooftop from your bag, placing it on the table between you. βYou said these started three weeks ago?β you ask, flipping it open.
Phainon nods, brushing crumbs off the table. βWarehouse on Little Thorn. Then a lab two nights later. Then another warehouse. Then the lab again, but a different wing. Theyβre hitting specific targets, looping back, almost like theyβre refining their technique.β
You glance up. βAny pattern to what theyβre taking?β
βThatβs the thing.β He leans in, placing his half-eaten sandwich on the paper wrapper. βItβs weirdlyβ¦ modular. Like, theyβre not emptying vaults or swiping entire systems. Theyβre taking parts. Pieces. Very specific ones.β
He slides a finger across one of the printouts. Itβs a manifest list from the Little Thorn warehouse, half the lines redacted, but a few still visible.
Carbon-neutral polymer casings
Fiber-optic microarrays
Refrigerated storage containers, Class III
Unknown compound, biohazard sealed
βDoesnβt scream smash-and-grab,β you say, studying the list.
βExactly. This is purposeful.β
You turn another page. βThe camerasββ
βLooped,β Phainon says. βEvery time. Not just disabled. The footage looks uninterrupted, except for this weird flickerβlike it skips half a second. But the timestamps donβt change.β
You sit back in your seat, fingers drumming on the edge of the table. He watches you thinkβsees the line between your brows deepen, the way you press your lips together when something doesnβt add up. He likes watching you think. Thatβs a problem.
βDo you think theyβre testing something?β you ask. βOr building it?β
βThatβs what I was hoping youβd help me figure out. Detective Brain and Spider Legs. The dream team.β
βNever say that again.β
He gives you a one-shouldered shrug and returns to his sandwich. βCanβt make promises I donβt intend to keep.β
You shake your head and go quiet again, flipping slowly through the rest of the folder. Pages rustle under your hands. The old man behind the counter mutters something unintelligible to the deep fryer. Outsider, a police cruiser drives by without slowing.
When you speak again, your voice is lower. βYou said you think someoneβs watching you.β
Phainon freezes with a piece of pickle halfway to his mouth. Slowly, he lowers it back to the wrapper. βI donβt think,β he says. βI know.β
You look up.
βTwo nights ago, I was tailing one of their runners. Lost him. That shouldβve been the end of it, except when I got homeβ¦β He hesitates. βMy apartmentβs locked down. Triple bolted, windows sealed, motion sensors in every hallway. And yet, my closet door was cracked. My spare suit was missing. Nothing else.β
Your expression hardens. βDid you call it in?β
He snorts. βYeah, sure. Hello, 911, someone stole my crime-fighting spandex, I think Iβm being haunted by a bunch of dudes with attitude problems.β
You donβt laugh.
βSorry,β he mutters. βDeflection. I know.β
βYou shouldβve told someone sooner,β you say sharply. βIf someone has your gear, they might have access to yourββ
βThey wonβt,β he cuts in. βThe techβs locked down. Biometric, failsafes, the works. But it means they were inside. Not watching from across the street. Inside. And thatβ¦ thatβs not normal.β
You nod. βYou think itβs connected to the thefts.β
βI think Iβve been getting too close,β he says, quieter now. βAnd someone wants me out of the way.β
You lean forward, resting your elbows on the table. The cracked TV in the corner flickers, playing a rerun of some late-night court drama with the volume turned down low. A door slams shut somewhere in the back. The deli is empty now except for you two.
βThen we need to get closer,β you say.
Phainon blinks. βWaitβwe?β
βThis is serious,β you say simply. βAnd if someoneβs watching you, they might come for me next. This is bigger than your usual masked hero antics, Spider-Man. So, yeah. We.β
Heβs staring again. He knows he is. He should probably say something witty or obnoxious, but his throatβs dry and his heartβs doing that thing again. βCool,β he says finally, and it comes out a little too quiet. βCool cool cool cool cool.β
You push the folder back towards him, then stand and grab your coat off the back of the chair. βTomorrow night,β you say. βBring everything else youβve got. We set up a timeline, match it to police records. I want this mapped out by morning.β
He gives a mock salute. βAye aye, Captain.β
You pause at the door, just long enough to glance over your shoulder. βWash your suit,β you say. βYou smell like mustard.β
The bell jingles as the door swings shut behind you. Phainon stays in the booth for a while, finishing his sandwich in silence. The TV buzzes in the corner. The ceiling light blinks once, then steadies.
The alley off Cortland Street feels shadier than it is in the almost-darkness. Every step Phainon takes echoes just a little too sharply off the damp brick walls, the soles of his boots scraping against cracked pavement slick from the afternoon rain. The air is thick with the tang of gasoline, rotting leaves, and whatever chemical sludge is leaking from the storm drain at the corner. Itβs the kind of place you walk faster through on instinct, even if youβve got super reflexes and unnatural strength.
But for once, heβs early.
The wall behind him is papered with maps: big ones, small ones, some he stole from news kiosks and the city library, others he scrawled himself in the middle of the night, half-asleep and hunched over his kitchen counter with a sharpie in his mouth. Heβs patched them together like a spiderweb, the red and black marker lines bleeding over each other, looping through neighbourhoods and dead ends. Itβs messy, barely legible in some places, but it serves its purpose.
He shifts on the overturned milk crate heβs using as a seat and pulls his mask halfway up to breathe properly. The flickering streetlight above him hums like a dying bee. Thereβs a smear of mustard on his glove from the sandwich last night. He tries not to think about how long itβs been since heβs properly showered.
He hates waiting. But heβd never admit that heβs anxious. Especially not for you.
Your footsteps break the quietβsharp, sure, even. The same way they always sound when youβre walking up behind him like youβre about to read him his Miranda rights.
He doesnβt turn around immediately. That would be too obvious. Too eager. βI was starting to think you ditched,β he says instead, flipping a page in the notebook balanced on his knee.
βYou said nine,β you answer. βItβs eight fifty-nine.β
He smiles, just a little. Canβt help it. βWow. A punctual cop.β
You walk past him, wordless, and he catches the faint scent of your shampooβclean, sharp, maybe citrus? (He needs to stop.)Β
You step up to the wall of maps, arms crossed. The light glints off the corner of your badge, half-tucked beneath your jacket. You tilt your head to the side, the same way you always do when youβre processing too many things at once. God, heβs noticed that too many times.
βThis is a mess,β you say flatly.
βOrganised chaos,β he corrects.
You shoot him a look, then kneel to examine the clustered marks around Marmorealβs industrial sector. Your fingers trace a wide red loop that sounds four separate Xs.
Phainon hops down from his crate and joins you, dropping into a crouch beside you. βThose are the first confirmed break-ins. They form a pretty clear arc if you connect the dots. Started on the western edge. Theyβre moving clockwise.β
βSo whatever theyβre after is in the centre,β you muse.
βBingo,β he says, tapping the innermost circle. βAnd guess whatβs smack-dab in the middle of the whole thing?βΒ
He holds up a photo of a nondescript warehouse, overgrown with weeds, one wall tagged in massive purple spray paint that says I HATE BEES. Itβs ugly. You frown and say, βThat place?β
Phainon nods. βUsed to be a government R&D site during the old tech boom, but it was supposedly shut down after an acid leak took out the foundation. Now itβs just a lot with a locked fence and shit ton of asbestos.β
βWhy hasnβt anyone investigated it?β
βBecause itβs boring,β he says. βThereβs no power running to it. No reported disturbances. No reason for patrol to bother. But if you dig deeperβlike, old permit records and city zoning logsβthereβs a basement thatβs sealed off. No blueprint access since 2013.β
Your silence stretches. Phainon watches the gears turning in your head and realisesβagain, and with an unfortunate amount of clarityβthat he likes watching you think. He really, really shouldnβt.
βSo theyβre not just building something,β you say. βTheyβre hiding it.β
βOr staging it.β
βWeβll split up,β you say. βTonight. You take the chemical plant on Fifth. Iβll hit the battery storage facility near the docks. If either of them gets hit, we regroup.β
βCopy that,β he says lightly, brushing the dust off his gloved palms as he stands beside you. βThough I think you just want to get rid of me.β
βI want to get results,β you correct, already scanning the nearest cluster of notes on the map again. βAnd weβll cover more ground this way.β
Fair, rational, efficient. So typically you. Phainon swallows down the inexplicable disappointment in his throat and tries to focus. βThe chemical plantβs been shut down since the fires in March, but Iβve seen movement thereβshadows mostly, heat signatures. And one of the power boxes was tampered with last week. Could just be squatters, butβ¦β
βBut this group doesnβt leave power boxes half-cut,β you finish, glancing at him. βThey donβt miss steps.β
Exactly. He doesnβt say it out loud, but the tension in his shoulders eases a little. Youβre starting to see what he sees.Β
You turn back to the wall, fingers brushing one of the maps again, slower this time. Your brows are furrowed, the crease between them deeper than usual. βIβll have to log this in quietly. My teamβs not going to love me going off-grid again.β
βYour team doesnβt know youβre chasing me around rooftops?β
βThey know. They just donβt know why,β you say. βWhich is probably for the best.β
He huffs out a half-laugh, kicking lightly at the cracked asphalt near your foot. βFlattered.β
βYou shouldnβt be.β
βStill. Thanks for not turning me in.β
You shrug. βYou havenβt made it worth my while yet.β
He wants to tease you for that. Wants to say something dumb and stupid about buying you a terrible coffee from a 24-hour diner or bribing you with Chartonusβ sandwiches, but instead, he asks, βYou have a burner?β
You nod. Phainon reaches into one of the hidden pouches sewn inside his suitβpast the web cartridges, the crumpled snack wrapper, the broken-off pen cap he meant to throw away yesterdayβand pulls out his own cracked phone. The screenβs a mess of spiderwebbed lines, the plastic casing half melted at the edges from some accident involving an exploding rooftop generator last week.
You raise your brows. βThatβs a phone?β
βTechnically,β he says, unlocking it with a swipe and opening a new contact. βGive me your number. Iβll send coordinates if I catch anything tonight.β
You rattle off a sequence of numbers, and add, βBurner ends in zero-nine. Donβt call me unless itβs urgent.β
βDefine urgent.β
βExplosion. Gunfire. Alien invasion.β
βSoβ¦ brunch?β
Phainonβs lucky day starts with a pigeon dive-bombing his head, continues with a missed web shot that sends him careening into a fire escape, and somehow still manages to improveβbecause you said yes to brunch with him.Β
Or, well, with Spider-Man, which is still him, but in that weird, glass-wall kind of way. You donβt know what he looks like beneath the mask, donβt know his name, his address, his real voice, or the fact that he thought he was going to be late because he tried to hand-sew a rip in his suit and pricked his thumb seventeen times.
You flip through a manila folder with highlighter streaks and dog-eared corners, diagrams of circuits, and what look like stolen security camera stills, all stacked and filed with precision. Heβs seen you interrogate a guy in less than five words before. Watching you cut a pancake with that same level of intensity is kind of terrifying.
Also: kind of hot. But thatβs not relevant.
βSo,β he says, because the silence is beginning to grate at him, βhave I won you over with my sparkling personality yet, or are you still planning to arrest me after this?β
You hum and reach for the syrup. βI canβt decide if youβre more irritating in daylight or when youβre dangling upside down on a fire escape at 2 a.m.β
Phainon takes a sip of espresso, squinting through the bitter taste. βWhy not both?β
You glare at him.
βIβm trying to be helpful,β he says, quieter now. He leans in a little, lowering his voice in case someoneβs listening. βI know Iβm not the most traditional source, and Iβm aware Iβm breaking, like, a thousand chain-of-command rules just by talking to you, but Iβve been watching these people for weeks. And Iβve never seen anything like this. Theyβre too clean. Too prepared.β
You nod. He can tell youβve already connected the dots. Youβve probably connected ten more he hasnβt even noticed yet. Your eyes are sharp, alert, focused in that laser-sight kind of way that makes his skin itch under the mask.
βI went by the Marmoreal site last night,β you say. βDidnβt go in, thoughβjust circled. But there was movement in the back. A truck with no license plate.β
βSame model from the Fourth Street hit?β
βCouldnβt see,β you admit. βBut the sound was the same. The engine was too quiet to be local, so it was clearly modified.β
Phainon exhales slowly. βSo theyβre still active.β
βVery.β You stab at a piece of pancake and glance up at him. βYou sleep at all?β
β...No,β he mutters, sheepish. βBut I took a power nap at a bus stop for twenty-seven minutes and dreamed I was being eaten by a vending machine, so that counts.β
βHealthy,β you deadpan.
He shrugs. βYouβre one to talk. When was the last time you took a break that wasnβtβ¦ this?β
βIβm not the one with a possible concussion and jam on my mask.β
βI like jam,β Phainon says.
You shake your head, but he catches the faintest hint of amusement in your face, quickly hidden behind your coffee cup. He doesnβt say anything; just watches as you lean back in your chair, face finally relaxing into something that looks a little less like a detective building a case and a little more like a person enjoying a few minutes of peace.
Thatβs when it hits him: this is the first time heβs seen you still. Not mid-chase, not interrogating, not tearing through evidence. Just you, and pancakes, and a soft patch of sunlight warming your sleeve.
Heβs in so much trouble.
You glance at him, then, like you can feel it. βWhat?β
βNothing,β he says quickly, fiddling with a sugar packet. βJust thinking.β
Phainon hesitates. He wants to say itβs because itβs his favourite. Because the coffeeβs bad but the people are nice. Because the chairs donβt match and the chalkboard menus always misspell something. Because it feels safe. Because maybe, somewhere in the back of his idiotic brain, he wanted you to like it.
Instead, he shrugs and says, βThought youβd appreciate the pancakes.β
You study him for a second longer. Then, finally, finally, you smile. βDonβt make a habit of being right, Spider-Man,β you say, spearing another bite.
It turns out that Phainonβs theory is, horrifically, right.Β
One week. Thatβs all it takes.
Seven days of split patrols and encrypted texts, of cataloguing movement and double-checking routes, of scribbling half-mad notes in the margins of maps and losing sleep trying to figure out what the connection is. Heβd hoped, stupidly, that the quiet meant progress. That maybe, maybe theyβd spooked whoever was behind it. That maybe the worst thing waiting for him that week would be another broken web-shooter or a pigeon with a vendetta.
Youβre okay. That should be enough. It should settle the spike of cold panic in his chest, should anchor him where he stands, balancing on the lip of a lamppost on 39th Street. But he rereads it again. Then again.
His fingers tighten around the edge of the lamp. The city breathes below him, neon-drenched and unaware. Somewhere in the distance, a police siren howls. Closer, a car door slams and someone yells about a parking ticket.
Phainon jumps.
The wind is sharp against his skin as he swings, the air slapping his cheeks even through his mask. Heβs faster than usualβmore desperate than smooth. Itβs a graceless sprint across rooftops, the kind that leaves him barely clearing ledges, boots skimming waterlogged gutters, lungs burning. He doesnβt know if youβre hurt. You said youβre okay, but βokayβ is such a vague, terrible word when it comes from someone who faces dangerous situations for a living.
The warehouse by the docks comes into view fast, hulking and silent beneath the sodium lights. Thereβs a scorch mark across the landing bay door, the acrid scent of melted insulation still curling up into the air. Two squad cars are parked askew outside the chain link fence, but the cops are gone, or inside, or too distracted to notice the figure scrambling onto the roof with shaking hands.
Phainon crouches low and peers through the skylight.
Youβre inside, standing near a bank of empty battery casings and shattered glass, a radio pressed to your shoulder. Youβre not limping. No visible blood. His heart slows half a beat. He taps lightly on the glass. You look up fast, instinctive, already half-reaching for your weapon before you register him. Your eyes narrow, but only briefly. Then you jerk your chin towards the fire escape.
He meets you on the second floor, slipping in through a side window. Youβre alone in the room, save for the mess of forensic markers, scorch marks, and the bitter ozone of post-explosion cleanup.
βIβm fine,β you say, even before he can speak.
βYouβre not fine,β he snaps, more sharply than he means to. βYou said crossfire. Thatβs not, like, a stubbed toe.β
βIt wasnβt aimed at me.β
βThat doesnβt help!β
He hears his own voiceβtoo loud, too worried, echoing off concreteβand he turns away before you can see the guilt settling between his shoulders. He runs a hand over his head, dragging his glove against his scalp like he could rub the fear out through friction alone.
You step closer. Your boots crunch over a piece of broken casing. βSpider-Manββ
βWhat happened?β he cuts in. He needs to focus, needs to understand it before he spirals into full-blown panic. βWalk me through it.β
You sigh, but nod. βI was watching the south entrance. Nothing for over two hours. Then, just past ten, the sensors I set up on the west wall tripped. I saw three figures, all masked. One of them had a disruptorβfried the cameras before we could catch a clear face.β
βLithium?β
βGone,β you confirm. βThey knew exactly where to go. They broke open the storage lock, took one unit, and left the others untouched.β
βOnly one?β
βOne. And Spider-Manββ your eyes meet his again, steady now, seriousββthey werenβt just fast. They know how to fight. They looked trained for this kind of shit.β
He exhales through gritted teeth. βYou think theyβre building something.β
βI think they already have,β you say grimly. βAnd theyβre just waiting for the right battery to turn it on.β
Phainon shifts his weight and finally asks the question thatβs been sticking in his throat like a splinter. βDid they see you?β
βIβI donβt know. Maybe,β you say.
βMaybe?β His voice rises again.
βI lost one in the dark. I think they doubled back. Iβm not sure.β
Phainon wants to scream. Or punch something. Or grab you and teleport you somewhere far away where no one has disruptors and no one bleeds on cold warehouse floors. But he canβt do any of that. He can only stand there, vibrating with a kind of fear he doesnβt have the vocabulary for.
βI should have been there,β he mutters.
βYou were across the city.β
βThatβs not an excuse.β
You step into his space, close enough that he can hear your breath. βSpider-Man. Stop. Iβm not dead.β
βYet,β he says.
βIβve been trained for this,β you say. βI know how to handle myself.β
He doesnβt doubt that. Not even for a second. But he also knows what it feels like to arrive too late, to find a scene thatβs already stained with the blood of his loved ones. He drags a hand down his face. βYou need backup.β
βIβve got it,β you say, your voice firm. βIβve got you.β
Itβs not meant to do what it does, but those words dig into him deeper than any bullet could. He stares at you for a beat too long, every possible response crashing into each other like waves in his skull.
Finally, he says, quietly, βYeah. You do. Can I take you home?β
Phainon expects you to disagree. Instead, you let your shoulders slump with relief, and say, βYes, please.β
The wind cuts sharp along the docks when he leads you out, the air heavy with the smell of brine, old smoke, and burnt copper. Thereβs a metallic haze still lingering over the scene, but you donβt flinch from it. You walk steadily beside him, chin up, even if your hand hovers just a little closer to your holster than usual. He doesnβt miss that.
The streets are quieter now. Most of the cops have cleared out. A few plainclothes agents hang back to assess the scene, but they barely glance up when he web-slings both of you onto the nearest rooftopβlow enough to keep out of view, high enough to get some space from the mess below. You donβt complain. You never do. Even now, when your knees must ache from crouching in dark corners, when your head probably pounds from the tension of nearly being caught in open fire, you simply follow him, like itβs normal. Like you trust him.
Phainon keeps his hold light but steady around your waist, one hand braced just beneath your elbow. Youβre warmer than he expects, heat leaking through your jacket into his gloves. Every time he movesβshoots a string of webs, pulls you forward, steadies your landingβhe feels you adjust to match him. Fluid. Familiar. (He shouldnβt like that as much as he does.)
Your buildingβs only three blocks away, and you whisper the directions into his ear. Phainon doesnβt want to rush it. He doesnβt want to leave you alone, not yetβnot while your jaw is still set a little too tight and the adrenaline hasnβt fully drained from your bones.
When he finally lands on your fire escape, he lets go reluctantly.
You ease away from him, brushing your hair back, your expression unreadable as always. βYou donβt have to walk me all the way up.β
βI know,β he says, already crouched on the rail. βI justβ¦ wanted to be sure.β
βThanks.β
He nods and tries to act casual. Tries not to stare too hard at the soft light spilling out of your apartment window, or the way your fingers fidget at your sides like youβre still half in the fight. He wants to ask if youβre okay again, wants to tell you that the word βcrossfireβ nearly gave him a heart attack. But youβre already halfway to the window, unlocking it and ducking through the frame.
βSpider-Man?β you say, just before you disappear inside.
βYeah?β
βDo you, uh, want to come inside?β
He blinks. Of all the possibilities that had been ricocheting around in his headββstay safe,β or βthanks for the ride,β or βyouβre worrying too muchββthis had not made the cut. Not even close.
It stalls him, mid-perch, one gloved hand gripping the rusted iron railing of the fire escape, the other resting loosely on his knee. The mask hides his face, but heβs pretty sure his surprise is obvious anyway, just in the way his breath catches or how still he suddenly goes.
Your silhouette is soft in the glow of your apartmentβs light. Youβve already kicked off your boots inside the window, standing barefoot on the wooden floorboards, one hand holding the window open, the other resting lightly on the frame.
βI mean,β you say after a second, brows furrowed. βOnly if you want to. You donβt have to or anything. You probably have rooftops to gallivant across andββ
βI want to,β he says quickly, too quickly. Then he clears his throat and tries again. βI meanβyeah. If youβre okay with it.β
Your mouth curves, not quite into a smile, but something close enough to make something twist behind his ribs. βYou literally carried me three blocks through the air. I think weβre past the point of stranger danger.β
He huffs out a short laugh and swings one leg over the windowsill. It takes a bit of maneuvering to avoid smacking his knees against your desk, and heβs painfully aware of every scuff his boots leave behind on your floor. The space smells like laundry detergent and something warmβcoffee grounds, maybe. Or cinnamon. The kind of smell that makes his shoulders start to relax before he even realises it.
Your apartment is small but lived-in. A stack of case files teeters on the kitchen table next to a mug. Your precinct jacket hangs over the back of the couch. There are photos pinned to the side of the fridge with mismatched magnets: city skylines, a blurry shot of you at what looks like a precinct holiday party, someone in a ridiculous Halloween costume posing like a superhero. Phainon feels something tug deep and stupid in his chest.
βMake yourself at home,β you say, heading into the kitchen and flipping on the kettle without needing to ask. βIβve got tea or instant coffee. No milk, though. Sorry.β
He stays standing for a second longer, then slowly pulls off his gloves and tucks them into his belt. His mask stays on. He lifts the bottom edge just past his mouth, enough to breathe easier, but not enough to riskβwell, anything else.
βTeaβs good,β he says.
You nod, moving with a kind of efficiency that reminds him again that youβre still running on fumes. Thereβs a scrape as you grab two mugs, the clink of metal as you stir one without sugar. You hand him the other without ceremony.
He takes it carefully, fingers brushing yours. βThanks.β
βNo problem,β you return, then gesture to the couch. βWe can sit. If youβre staying a few minutes.β
He is. He knows he is. He follows you to the couch and lowers himself into the corner, stiff at first, like his body hasnβt caught up to the fact that heβs safe here. With you. Thereβs a blanket balled up on one side and an old remote wedged between the cushions. You move them without thinking and curl one leg beneath you, facing him.
βSo,β you say. βDo you want to talk about it?β
Phainon frowns. βThe break-in?β
βNo,β you say, looking at him squarely. βYou. You wereβ¦ panicked tonight.β
Phainon goes still. Itβs not immediateβnot sharp like a flinch, but a quiet kind of freezing, like someoneβs gently pulling the emergency brake in his chest. He doesnβt look away from you, but he doesnβt answer either. His tea cools between his fingers.
You shift forward a little, your voice low. βLook, Iβm not asking because Iβm nosy. Or because I want some dramatic unmasking moment sort of thing. I justβ¦β You pause, exhale. βI got lucky tonight. Thatβs what it was. Luck. If I hadnβt ducked at the right second, if theyβd come around the corner just a little fasterββ
βBut they didnβt,β he says quietly, cutting you off.
βThatβs not the point.β
Youβre sharper now, sitting straighter, your knee pressed to the cushion. Your eyes flashβnot with anger, but fear, the kind you donβt let people see if you can help it. But he sees it. And worse, he knows it. He recognises it in the widening of your eyes, the way your fingers curl against your palm.
You swallow. βIβm scared, Spider-Man. I know youβre helping. I trust you. But thisβthis thing weβre chasingβ¦ if something happens to youβI wonβt even know your name. I wonβt know who to look for. Or if I should look at all. Thatβs not just reckless, thatβsβcruel.β
He flinches at that. You notice.
βI just want to know whoβs standing next to me,β you say. βThatβs not so much to ask.β
βI canβt,β he says, before heβs even fully processed it. βIβm sorry.β
βThatβs not good enough.β Your voice isnβt raised, but thereβs a new edge to it now, sharper than anger. Hurt, maybe. Disappointment. It slices straight through his armour. βYou trust me with your life out there. Every night. You trust me not to shoot you in the back, or get in your way, or blow your cover. But you donβt trust me enough to know who you are?β
βItβs not about trust,β he says quickly, too defensively. βItβsβGod, you think I donβt want to tell you? You think I donβtβdonβt lie awake wondering what would happen if I did? I think about it all the time.β
βThen whatβs stopping you?β
He looks at you, then. Youβre not angry. Youβre scared. Scared of whateverβs coming next. Scared of losing control, of losing him.
βYou donβt understand what that means,β he says. βIf you know who I amβreally knowβit changes everything. You donβt get to walk away from that. You donβt get to un-know it if something happens. If someone finds outββ
βIβm a cop, Spider-Man. Iβve seen worse things than secret identities.β
βItβs not just mine,β he says. βItβs everyone around me. You knowingβyou become a target.β
βIβm already a target.β
βNot like this,β he bites out. βIf someone traces it back to youβif they think you matter to meββ
βI do matter to you.β
You suck in a breath like you didnβt mean to say it that way. But you donβt take it back. You sit there, across from him, eyes steady and hurting and unshakably honest. And all Phainon can think is: Shit.
βYou do,β he says, barely audible. βOf course you do.β
βThen why wonβt you tell me?β
He closes his eyes, and rubs a hand over the edge of his mask like he can somehow erase the pressure building behind his skull. βBecause the second I do,β he says, βyou stop being just a cop with good instincts and better aim. You become mine. And that makes you vulnerable in a way I donβt know how to protect you from.β
You shake your head, frustrated. βYou donβt get to make that decision for me. Iβm not asking for your social security number, or something. Iβm asking to know whoβs at my side when the bullets fly. When the lights go out. When itβs 2 a.m. and I canβt sleep because I think I saw someone watching my window. I need more than a voice behind a mask. I deserve more.β
He doesnβt argue. He doesnβt tell you youβre wrong, because youβre not. But still, he stays silent.
You stare at him for a moment longer, and when itβs clear he wonβt budge, you get up. The mug of tea still has steam spiralling out of it as you walk to the sink and set it down, the sound softer than your next words: βI think you should go.β
Phainon doesnβt try to stop you, or ask you to reconsider. He simply nods, and stands. Thereβs a strange heaviness in his limbs as he pulls the mask down over his face, tugs his gloves on with fingers that feel numb. He moves to the window but pauses with one foot already on the sill.
βI do trust you,β he says. βMore than anyone.β
Itβs not that youβre avoiding each other.
Itβs that youβre both avoiding each otherβwhich, in practice, amounts to the same thing.
Patrols become asynchronous: silent intel dumps in the encrypted folder, maps updated with colour-coded marks that speak more than either of you will via text. There are no more late-night debriefs on rooftops, no post-mission walks home, no casual banter about who has the worst taste in energy bars. When you text, itβs clipped, tactical. When he replies, itβs mechanical.
(βWest dock checkpoint cleared. No sign of activity.β
βCopy. South alley tripwire still intact.β)
Phainon doesnβt know what hurts more: the silence, or the fact that itβs entirely his fault. Maybe he was right. Maybe the secret is safer kept. Maybe you are less of a target this way.
But God, itβs lonely.
Thereβs a rhythm to the city that used to make senseβpulse and swing, fire escapes and antenna towers, the rough percussion of tires against potholes. But now it all feels flat. The rooftops are colder. His landing sticks a little less clean. Even the pigeons donβt heckle him like they used to.
Itβs been two weeks. Two long, aching weeks, until, at 3:37 a.m., Phainon receives a text from you, and it takes him less than a minute to reply.Β
He doesnβt stop to think, or worry if this is a trap, or a joke, or worseβif youβre still mad at him. When he lands outside your apartment, the windowβs already cracked open. Inside, the lights are on low, and thereβs a corkboard spread across your living room wall now, half-covered in photos, schematics, lines of red string and sticky notes scrawled in tight, impatient handwriting he recognises from your field memos.
You donβt greet him. You just hand him a folder, your eyes dark with something between fear and exhaustion.
βBiotech division out of Theoros Labs,β you say. βIt used to be focused on adaptive immunotherapy, but they lost funding three years ago and went dark. The shell company they reopened under is tied to a private security contractor out of Styxia. And guess what their latest research files are tagged under?β
Phainonβs already flipping through the pages. His gloved fingers still. His stomach drops.
ARACHNID-BASED ENHANCEMENT TRIALS β SUBJECT 33550336. MODEL NAME: FLAME REAVER.
He looks up. βTheyβre trying to replicate me.β
βNot just replicate,β you say, shaking your head. βWeaponise.β
Your voice is thin, dry, like it costs you something to even say it aloud.
βTheyβve been pulling data from old surveillanceβfight footage, patrol patterns, even the way you move. You know how we assumed they were looking for high-density batteries to power a device?β You tap one of the diagrams on the corkboard, the spine of it shaped like a human thorax with branching nodes along the shoulders. βTurns out itβs a synthetic neuromuscular system. And thisβthis lithium coreβitβs the ignition switch.β
Phainon stares at the blueprint. Itβs rough, unfinished, but horrifyingly clear: a bipedal unit, modelled after him. Spinal cord wiring where his web shooters would be. Photoreactive visor instead of eyes. Muscle clusters designed for explosive vertical leap. Neural sync modules buried in the wrists and calves.
A Spider-Man, stripped of the man.
βWhy?β he says, voice hoarse. βWhy build this?β
βI donβt know yet,β you admit. βBut someone out there sees you as more than just a vigilante nuisance. They see you as a prototype. A formula. Something to replicate, mass-produce, and control.β
He sinks onto the edge of your couch, folder open in his lap. The diagram stares back at him, accusatory and unforgiving. Itβs him. The curve of the stance, the wide-set shoulders, the way the unitβs balance favours its left side, just like he does when his kneeβs aching. They didnβt just study him; they dissected him.
βHow long have you known?β he asks quietly.
βA few days,β you say. βI wanted to be sure. Didnβt want to come to you with a hunch and nothing to back it up.β
βAnd you texted me anyway.β
You meet his gaze across the room. βBecause itβs you, Spider-Man. Look, I know you think hiding your identity keeps people safe. But this? This proves it doesnβt. Theyβre coming for you whether or not I know your face. They already have your gait, your voice, your power levels. Theyβre not trying to figure out who you are anymore. They donβt care. They just want to turn you into something they can sell.β
He sets the folder down. His hands wonβt stop shaking. βHowβ¦ did you find out about all this?β
βDonβt get mad.β
When Phainon doesnβt say anything, you sigh and look away.Β
βI visited the old R&D site. Alone.β
βAre you serious?β Phainon gestures so wildly that his web cartridge knocks against the back of your chair. He stands abruptly. The folder falls from his lap, papers scattering across your rug. βYou went alone. To Theoros. To Styxia-backed labs that specialise in high-risk bioweapons. Without calling me.β
βI called you when I had proofββ
βYou shouldnβt have gone in the first place!β he explodes. βWhat the hell were you thinking? Do you want to get dissected? Shot? Replaced with one of thoseβthose thingsββ
βYou werenβt talking to me!β you shout back. βWhat was I supposed to do? Wait until they raided another warehouse?β
βI was trying to protect you,β Phainon grits out. βAnd instead you threw yourself into a place that couldβve had armed personnel, pressure sensors, live prototypesβanything.β
You throw your arms out. βAnd what was the alternative? Sit on my hands while they build a weaponised version of you? Wait until thereβs a second Spider-Man crawling up government buildings with a built-in kill switch? I donβt know how to sit still, Spider-Man. Not when Iβm this scared.β
βYou think Iβm not scared? You think I havenβt been replaying every second of that night at the docks? That I havenβt imagined a dozen versions of how it couldβve gone wrong? You think Iβm not scared every time I donβt hear from you for a few hours?β
βThen why didnβt you say any of that? Why did you shut me out?β
βBecause if I said it out loud,β Phainon spits, pacing again, hands flying to his head, βthen it would be real. It would beβyou would be real. Not just someone chasing me on my patrol route. Not just someone whoβs helping me out. Youβd be a person Iβd have to lose.β
You blink, thrown. βYou think youβre going to lose me?β
βI know I could,β he says, almost like it hurts. βBecause itβs already happened. Every time I get closeβevery single timeβit ends the same way. Either they die, or I leave first. Because thatβs the only choice I ever get.β
He doesnβt even hear how loud his voice has gotten, doesnβt notice how heβs gesturing wildly, storming back and forth across your living room.
βI canβt protect you from this. I canβt protect you from them. I canβt even protect myself. You want me to give you a name, but thatβs the one thing I canβt do. Because once you have that, itβs over. Youβll look at me differently. Or worseβyouβll stop looking at me. And I canβtβGod, I canβt stand that.
βDo you know what itβs like to see yourself turned into a blueprint? To see a file full of numbers and heat signatures and recorded footage and realise someone out there has broken you down into a fucking algorithm? That they donβt see a personβthey see a weapon?
βI didnβt sign up for this shit! I didnβt even sign up to be Spider-Man. I justβ¦ was. And now theyβve taken that and turned it into something else. Something that walks like me and fights like me and could kill you without thinking. And the worst part is that if youβd died at that lab, Iβno one wouldβve even known. Youβd just be another casualty they scrub from the recordsβand that wouldβve been my fault.β
His voice has dropped to a whisper. His hands are trembling.
He doesnβt realise until you doβuntil your eyes go wide, and your breath catches like youβve been sucker-punched.
His mask is gone, not pushed halfway up, or nudged for a sip of tea. Gone. Somewhere in the middle of that breakdownβwhile he was talking too fast and breathing too hard and tearing at his suit like it was suffocating himβhe took it off.
His hairβs a mess, flattened by the fabric, and his face is flushed, mouth parted slightly as he sucks in breath after breath. Thereβs a bruise blooming along his cheekbone, and a cut healing just beneath his chin. He looks young, with silvery-white hair and bright blue eyes that are rimmed with the redness that comes with exhaustion and caffeine.
β...Oh,β Phainon says, stunned. βShit.β
You blink, slowly, as though grounding yourself in reality again. βYou took your mask off.β
He starts to lift a hand to cover his face, instinct kicking in too late. Gently, more carefully than anything else thatβs passed between you tonight, you reach up and take the mask from his hand. Your fingers brush his knuckles, and he flinches, but he doesnβt pull away.
Phainon drops his hand and lets out a shallow breath. βIβ¦ didnβt mean to.β
βYou didnβt mean to,β you echo. βJesus.β
Phainon canβt say anything, so he simply stands there, feeling as naked as the day he first stepped onto a rooftop and dared to believe he could protect anyone. His heart pounds loud in his ears. He can feel it in his throat, his fingertips, his teeth.
βCan Iβ Will you tell me your name?β you whisper.
He wets his lips, and says, quietly, βPhainon.β
You nod, once, and say it back. βPhainon,β you repeat, like itβs a truth youβll guard with your life. βOkay. Iβm not afraid of you. And Iβm not leaving. So either you let me help, because you asked me to, or I break into another lab and do it anyway. Your call.β
Phainon stares at you: you, with your voice barely holding steady; you, standing in your living room full of maps and stolen schematics and caffeine-fueled desperation; you, tired and stubborn and loyal enough to make him fall to his knees.
βOkay,β he says quietly.
You reach out, then, and Phainon thinks youβre handing his mask back to him, but instead, you wrap your arms tightly around his torso and pull him into you.Β
He doesnβt move at first. Youβre pressed to him, arms wrapped tight around his torso like you mean to hold the pieces of him together before they scatter to the wind. Your cheek rests just above his heart, right where it beats too loud and too fast, thudding like itβs trying to break free from his ribs. His hands hover uselessly in the air for a second, fingers twitching, stunned by the contact, by the way you came to him so easily, so willingly, after all of it.
He exhales. The air leaves his lungs like itβs been caged there for years. His shoulders drop an inch. His spine slackens just enough for him to bend down.
He lifts his arms slowly, like heβs learning how to move again. His fingers brush your back, light and unsure, but you donβt flinch. You donβt pull away. So he lets his palms flatten, one at the curve of your spine, the other curling loosely over your shoulder.
He breathes in.
God, itβs you. Soap and smoke and citrus shampoo. A hundred times heβs seen you crouched beside him on rooftops or hunched over a laptop, bathed in the blue glow of surveillance feeds. But this is different. This is you, pressed to him like you belong there, like the world outside can wait.Β
His grip tightens, no longer tentativeβarms looping fully around you now, hands grasping like he needs to keep you tethered, like if he lets go, youβll disappear back into a nightmare or a lab or a headline with your name misspelled. His chin tips forward until his face rests in the hollow of your neck, and itβs instinct, not thought that guides him there. His breath stirs the hair at your temple. He swallows hard.
(Itβs you. Itβs you, and youβre warm and safe and alive in his arms.)
Phainon closes his eyes and pretends like everything else in the living room doesnβt existβthe weaponised duplicate in the file folder, the surveillance footage broken down to frames per second, the machine built in his image but stripped of everything human. He forgets about the mask you dropped, crumpled on the floor, and the voice in his head screaming that heβs made a mistake, that youβll leave once the shock fades, that nothing good can come of this.
Instead, he listens to your heartbeat. He memorises the slope of your shoulders beneath his palms, the soft way your hand has fisted in the fabric of his suit like youβre afraid he might vanish, too.
It comes to himβterrible and quiet and so obvious it aches.
He could be in love with you.
Not the kind of love he can shove into the seams of his second life. Not the safe, armβs-length affection that lives behind jokes and shared intel and the occasional brush of fingers across a coffee cup. No, this is the dangerous kind. The kind that makes you stupid. The kind that makes you soft. (The kind that makes you want.)
He wants a future he doesnβt dare picture. He wants to walk down the street with you in broad daylight. He wants to take off the suit and be Phainon, just Phainon, and know youβll still look at him the same way.
(His hands tremble. You hold him tighter.)
Itβs that simple. You donβt push. You donβt speak. You just breathe against his chest, steady and unwavering and constant, like you always are. Phainon presses his mouth to your hair. His eyes sting, but he doesnβt cry.
Itβs five in the morning, and Phainon is walking down a cracked sidewalk beside you with his suit half-zipped, his mask stuffed into your hoodie pocket, and a buzzing under his skin that heβs trying really hard to ignore. Youβre beside him, arms crossed against the early chill, leading the way like thisβwalking, togetherβis something you do all the time.
Itβs not a date, he tells himself. Itβs really not.Β
But you mentioned waffles. And your voice had been tired but warm when you said it. And he hadnβt wanted to leave yet.
So here he is. Not skipping, because heβs got some dignity, but definitely walking with a little too much bounce for someone who found out heβs being reverse-engineered into a murder bot a little over an hour ago.
The cityβs quieter than it ever gets during daylight, the kind of hush that only exists in the space between the last bar closing and the first train running. A low mist clings to the ground, curling around traffic lights and benches and empty newsstands. Itβs eerie, maybe, but not unfriendly. Like the cityβs holding its breath right along with him.
Phainon doesnβt know what heβs supposed to be feeling. Dread, maybe. Paranoia. Existential terror. But instead, all he feels is this weightless hum in his chest, the kind that makes you walk a little taller, swing your arms a little looser. The kind that makes you forget youβre still half in your gear and probably look completely insane.
You glance over at him as you cross the street, the corner of your mouth twitching like youβre trying not to smile. βYouβre doing that thing again.β
βWhat thing?β
βStaring at me.β
Phainon stumbles on a crack in the sidewalk. βIβm not,β he says, too quickly.
βYou are,β you say, not unkindly. βLike Iβm going to vanish or something.β
Phainon rubs the back of his neck, grateful for the relative darkness. βWell. I mean. You did break into a lab by yourself, so I wouldnβt put it past you.β
βOkay, fair,β you concede, nudging him lightly with your elbow. βStill. Youβve got that face on. The one that makes me feel like Iβve got, like, a mysterious smear of radioactive ink on my forehead.β
βI donβt have a face.β
βYou do have a face,β you say. βThatβs the problem now, remember?β
Phainon huffs out a laugh and looks away, suddenly all too aware of the morning air on his skin, of the fact that heβs not wearing his mask, of how easy it is to joke with you. Heβs not sure what scares him more: being turned into a weapon, or feeling like this.
You walk in comfortable silence for a block or two, hands tucked into your sleeves, your breath fogging slightly in the chill. The sky is bruising lavender and gold now, the edges of dawn beginning to soften everything.
Phainon chances a glance at you. Youβre watching the sky change colour like itβs a magic trick only you know the secret to, your expression soft and unreadable. Thereβs a crease between your brows, faint, but it smooths a little when a breeze picks up and rustles your hair. You look tired, not just from the lack of sleep, but from the kind of exhaustion that sinks into a person when theyβve seen too much, done too much, but still canβt stop moving.
The diner sign glows into view at the end of the streetβwarm yellow and flickering red, letters half-burnt out so it reads INE R & GILL if you squint. Thereβs a figure leaning against the counter inside, wiping down the same spot with a rag thatβs probably older than both of you, and the place smells faintly of grease and syrup.
You pause in front of the glass door, one hand on the handle. βThis place okay?β
βItβs perfect,β Phainon says before he can stop himself.
You smile and push open the door. The bell on top jingles, and the waitress glances up from the far end of the counter. She gives you both a once-over, raises a tired brow at Phainonβs boots and long sleeves, and gestures to a booth without asking questions. Thatβs the nice thing about New Okhema City; nobody cares too much.
You slide into a booth with a contented sigh. Phainon sits across from you, knees knocking against the underside of the table. The vinyl squeaks under his weight, and the Formica is sticky, but he doesnβt care. His hands feel strangely clean without gloves. The menu sticks to his fingers when he flips it open.
You donβt even bother looking at yours. βWaffles, scrambled eggs, hash browns. Extra syrup.β
βThat specific, huh?β Phainon says.
You shrug. βGotta know your diner defaults.β
The waitress arrives with two glasses of water and a notepad. βYou kids look like youβve been up all night,β she says, though she canβt be more than a few years older than you and Phainon.
βWe have,β you say sleepily, βbut we cracked a supervillain conspiracy, so it was worth it.β
The waitress doesnβt blink. βCoffee?β
βYes, please,β you say, and Phainon nods too, grateful. She leaves without another word.
Silence stretches between you again, but itβs easy now, filled with warmth. The sky outside shifts more boldly into gold and peach, casting long shadows against the window. Phainon leans back into the booth and lets himself exhale slowly, deeply.
Your foot brushes against his under the table. He freezes. You donβt move it.
He looks up, and your eyes meet his over the rim of your water glass. Thereβs something quiet there, soft around the edgesβexhaustion, sure, but something else too. A kind of trust heβs not sure he deserves. (Still, itβs there.)
Phainon thinks about how this shouldnβt be possible. How the night started with fear and screaming and blueprints of his body, and somehow ended with this booth, this silence, this person across from him.
[18:04] Detective Brain: Spidey-lookalike broke into storage depot by Kephale Plaza. Iβm already on scene. Itβs not you, right?
[18:05] Detective Brain: Phainon. Please respond.
Phainon is already out the window by the time your second text comes through, barely bothering to latch it behind him. His fingers fumble for the web shooter at his wrist, and his heart is a fist hammering against his ribs. He almost misses the first jumpβlands hard on the ledge and has to steady himself with a rough palm against brick.
He doesnβt even suit up properly. His gloves are half-fastened, the zipper of his suit stuck one-fourths of the way up his spine, but thereβs no time to care. Phainon swings hard across the cityβs mid-rises, momentum jerking through his shoulders, his aim slightly off with each launch. It doesnβt matter. Heβll take a bruised wrist if it gets him to Kephale Plaza thirty seconds faster.
Kephale Plaza is a glass-and-steel monstrosity, flanked by wide loading docks and a security perimeter that no longer seems to matter. Phainon can hear the distant thrum of police radios as he swings into the industrial district, following the echo of sirens. Squad cars line the street outside the storage depot, lights flashing in fractured red and blue across the cracked pavement. Officers are forming a perimeter, but thereβs no crowd. Theyβre keeping it quiet.
He lands on the roof of an adjacent building, crouched low as his eyes sweep the scene.Β
He finds you posted just outside the warehouseβs side entrance, pacing like youβre trying not to burst out of your own skin. Your bulletproof vest is cinched tight, and your standard issue sidearm is still holsteredβbut your fingers are twitching near it, like youβre weighing every possible outcome of the past ten minutes. Your hairβs tied back, but loose strands stick to your face from the sweat already clinging to your skin. Heβs never seen you look so still and restless all at once.
He leaps down from the rooftop, landing in a crouch just behind a darkened patrol vehicle. No one sees him yet. He keeps to the shadows as he makes his war towards you.
The second you hear the shuffle of his boots, you whip aroundβand relax just as fast.
βJesus,β you exhale, taking a step forward. βOkay. Okay, thank God. I wasnβt sure youβd even seen the message.β
βI left the second I did,β Phainon assures. βWhatβs the situation?β
Your lips tighten, and you turn, nodding for him to follow you a few paces away from the rest of the officers. Behind you, the front entrance to the warehouse stands yawning and dark, a single loading dock shutter half-raised.
βIt showed up fifteen minutes ago,β you say, pulling out your phone and flicking to the security cam footage. You angle the screen towards him. βTook out the motion sensors, and walked in through a window on the north side. No sign of forced entryβit knew exactly where to go.β
The footage is grainy, flickering, but the figure is unmistakable.
It moves like him. Too much like him. In the footage, the figure slinks down the hallway with the same kind of gait Phainon sees in himself. Every footfall, every pause, every angle of entryβitβs like watching him pace through a mirror.
Only this version is sleeker, meaner. Its limbs are thicker with muscle plating, and its suitβif you could even call it thatβis matte-black with streaks of purple circuitry flashing along the ribs and spine. Thereβs no emblem, no mask markings, just a blank, silver faceplate that reflects the ceiling lights like a shuttered camera lens. One blink and itβs gone, vanishing into the blind spots of the camera feed like it knows exactly where every pixel falls.
Phainon swears under his breath. βThey built it,β he mutters. βThatβs Flame Reaver.β
You glance up. βYou sure?β
He nods. Heβs gone through your stolen documents so many times that it feels like theyβve been branded into his skull. βPositive. Same proportions, same gait. But itβs not scanning the building. Itβs buying time.β
βFor what?β
Phainon doesnβt answer at first. Heβs too focused on the still-looping footage. The moment the prototype slips out of view, he sees itβa flicker of something. It wasnβt raiding. It wasnβt looking for intel. It walked into that depot like it had a schedule to keep.
The realisation hits him like a slap to the sternum.
βWait,β he says sharply. βWhereβs your radio?β
You blink. βWhat?β
βYour radio,β he repeats, scanning your hip and vest and frowning when he sees the wire coiled but your earpiece missing. βYou always keep it on.β
βI took it out for a second. There was interference on the line.β
βNo.β Phainon turns, scanning the scene again with a new sharpness in his eyes. βNo, thatβs wrong. Thisβthis whole thingβitβs not a distraction. This is the distraction.β
βWhat are youββ
His head whips around, eyes scanning the perimeter. You were just here, right beside him, one step behind. Your breath was fogging the air. You were talking.
Now youβre gone.
Phainonβs heart lurches.
βWhere is she?β he hisses aloud, and suddenly heβs on the moveβscrambling up onto the nearest shipping crate, trying to get height, trying to see. The precinct lineβs holding firm around the building. Thereβs no breach. No one has come or gone.
Except you. Except whoeverβor whateverβcame for you.
He swings to the rooftop in seconds, breath tight in his lungs, wind clawing past his ears. His eyes sweep the blocks below in sharp, jerking passesβalley to alley, rooftop to ground, looking for anything that feels off.
On the north side, nestled between two disused factories and a rusted chain-link fence, an unmarked van idles in a narrow alley, almost hidden in the dip of a service road. Its brake lights pulse once, too soft to draw attention, but deliberate. A second later, the engine stutters and dies. The door clicks shut. Phainon stills.
From this height, the sounds of the city thin into a muffled hush: sirens echoing somewhere far behind him, police radios buzzing with disjointed chatter. But that alley, that vanβitβs too smooth, too clean. Thereβs no urgency to it, no panic. Just the slow, mechanical precision of something following protocol.
A figure steps away from the van, heading down a side street without looking back. Their stride is steady. Familiar.
Phainon freezes.
It looks like you: the same jacket, same utility belt, even the soft sway of your hair against your collarbone. Your badge glints faintly under the streetlightβyour badge. Not a replica.
Except itβs wrong. Youβre not there.
You wouldnβt leave the perimeter without backup, wouldnβt ditch your squad without a word, or abandon the very scene that had triggered every instinct in your body just ten minutes ago. At least, not without telling him.
And whoeverβor whateverβthis is, itβs walking away like it knows the exact timing window itβs working with. Like it wants him to follow.
βTheyβre splitting us up,β Phainon breathes, the words ripping themselves from his throat. Suddenly, the air feels thinner, sharper. His lungs burn.
He doesnβt hesitate, doesnβt even think before launching himself off the rooftop with a grunt, webline snapping out, slicing through the fog-damp air. He swings low, barely clearing a lamppost, and lands in a crouch beside the van. He can smell petrol, faintly.
Phainon yanks the door open. Itβs emptyβno driver, or equipment. Just the sharp, sterile scent of plastic and ozone. Itβs a burner vehicle, then. One they didnβt plan on keeping.
βDamn it,β Phainon curses under his breath. He spins on his heel, already movingβuntil he hears a faint crackle. The buzz of a police radio. Your police radio.
He follows the sound, weaving between crates and dumpsters until he skids to a stop at the mouth of the alley, and finds your comm unit on the ground. One of the earbuds still dangles loosely from the coil, blinking a faint blue every few seconds. The rest of the radio is scuffed; not broken, just discarded deliberately, placed just far enough from the van to suggest you followed something willinglyβuntil it was too late.
A boot scuff mars the concrete nearby. There is another drag mark next toβa toe, maybe. Someone shifted. Or struggled. Phainon crouches low, brushing his fingers across the ground. His mind races through probabilities, scenarios. None of them are good.
It wasnβt just a prototype in the warehouse. That was the shell, a puppet to get the cops talking, to trigger an investigation. Something visible, something obvious.Β
But this was the play: lure him in with the decoy, use it to lock the precinctβs attention, then send the real threat to steal what they really neededβyou.
Phainon grits his teeth as he stares down at your radio. His mind flashes to the schematics youβd shown him on your wall. Neural mimicry, behavioural mirroring, photo-accurate masking. It wasnβt a bluff. They had footage, voice samples, enough to build a close-range approximation of him. Theyβd studied him down to the limp in his left knee.
Of course they had enough on you. You were the officer who was most often assigned with the task of tracking him down, after all.
He thinks of your laugh; the way you tilt your head when youβre about to argue; the furrow in your brows when youβre thinking too deeply. If theyβve copied thatβyouβdown to the way your voice hitches when you say his nameβ
His stomach flips.
βThey took her,β he says aloud, more to steady himself than anything else. βThey took her.β
Phainonβs fingers twitch, curling tight into fists. His web shooters press firm against his wrists. His gloves are still half-fastened. He fixes them now, fastens every strap, zips his suit the rest of the way up roughly. The breath in his chest is shallow and burning, but his hands are steady.Β
He swings back up to the rooftop, lands in a three-point crouch, and bolts across the ledge without a second thought. Every muscle in his body knows where heβs going: the old R&D site, the remnants of what used to be the government-sanctioned Theoros Labs.
Itβs a twenty-minute drive through the industrial corridor to get there. Heβll make it in seven.
Every swing feels sharper now, each launch of webbing tighter, more exact. The buildings blur past him, and his breath comes in hard, rhythmic exhales. He canβt afford to be wrong. Canβt afford a detour. The further they pull you away, the less chance he has of reaching you before whatever they built decides it doesnβt need you alive.
Phainon lands on a rooftop, skids into a roll, fires another web and propels him back into the air. Hold on, he thinks. Please, just hold on.
The air near Theoros Labs smells like ozone and old metal.
Phainon lands hard on the broken rooftop of a utility shed just outside the main building. Itβs darker here than it should be. The outer perimeter lights have all been shut off, either manually or by remote override. Only a few flickering emergency bulbs remain, casting a jaundiced glow over the facilityβs skeletal frame. Ivy creeps up the cracked walls, half-swallowing faded corporate logos and biohazard signs. The chain-link fencing has been torn down in places and rusted through in others.Β
Itβs too quiet.
He moves carefully, sticking close to the shadows as he approaches the main entranceβwhatβs left of it. The glass doors have been forced open, one of them dangling from its hinges. Inside, the lobby lies still and cold, floor tiles coated in dust. But someoneβs been through recently. Fresh boot prints disturb the grime, overlapping in frantic patterns. You were here. He follows your footprints past collapsed hallways and rusted biohazard doors. Most of the rooms are strippedβjust empty labs and decaying workstationsβbut the deeper he gets, the cleaner it becomes. Dust thins. Wires appear. Lights flicker to life as he passes.
Theyβve reactivated the lower level. Phainon descends a wide staircase lined with old safety tape. The sub-basement has power. Soft white fluorescents hum overhead. The floor is concrete, sealed and buffed, with clean drag marks across it. The walls are lined with black server towers, cords feeding into sealed doors.
Phainon stops mid-step; thereβs a tingle in the back of his neck. Someone else is here, too. His muscles go taut, fingers curling half-ready near his web shooters.
βAh, Mr. Spider-Man,β a voice drawls, drawing out the vowels. βOr should I sayβ¦ Phainon?β
Thereβs a hiss behind one of the sealed doors to the left. A vent releases a thin ribbon of steam.
βDonβt be shy. Youβve already made it farther than most,β the voice says, and this time, itβs accompanied by footsteps echoing against the polished concrete, slow and confident. βI imagine you have questions. Thatβs good. I admire curiosity. Itβs a very human trait.β
The man who steps into view is tall, lean, draped in a sleep lab coat far too pristine for a place like this. His shoulder-length hair is slicked back, and most of his face is covered by a visor. His ID badge is clipped to his chest, name and clearance codes etched in a crisp black print.
Lycurgus smiles like heβs greeting an old colleague. βThis facility was never truly abandoned, you know. That was just a convenient myth. Theoros wasβ¦ restructured. Privatised. Reoriented towards more ambitious pursuits.β He gestures to the space around him. βWelcome to our prototype cradle. Or, as we researchers like to call it, Stage Zero of Irontomb.β
Phainonβs voice is low, sharp. βWhere is she?β
βYour detective, yes?β Lycurgus says. βShe is safe. Unharmed, though mildly sedated. Sheβs being prepped for mapping. Itβs better if she doesnβt wake up mid-scanβthe sensory feedback can be unpleasant.β
Phainon steps forward. βYouβre going to let her go. Now.β
βOh, Iβm afraid thatβs not going to happen.β Lycurgus tilts his head. βSheβs far too important. As are you.β
He moves towards a glass-paneled observation window. Behind it, a dark chamber pulses with slow, blue strobe lighting. Machines hiss softly within. Something looms in the shadowsβtaller than a man, hunched forward, hooked into a loading rig like a sleeping animal.
βI know what you think weβre doing here,β Lycurgus continues. βMass production. Automation. Violence. And, to be fair, yesβwe are building weapons. But not just weapons. Weβre building evolution.β
βYouβre building copies,β Phainon corrects.
Lycurgus lets out a chuckle, quiet and indulgent. βFlame Reaver was a crude iteration. Incomplete, too reliant on mimicry. It served its purposeβchased its prey, gathered its data, misled your little precinct. But Irontombβ¦ Irontomb will do more than chase. It will predict, integrate, override, think.β
He turns back to Phainon. The placid smile fades, replaced with something hungrier.
βWeβve spent years reverse-engineering your every decision. Every rooftop sprint. Every moment of hesitation. Every kill you didnβt make. We mapped your instincts, modeled your reflex latency, simulated the split-second calculations behind your webbing patterns. All of it.β
He taps the side of his own head. βBut it wasnβt enough. Something was missing. Something the data couldnβt replicate.β
βYou mean her.β
βYes.β Lycurgusβ smile returns, tight and reverent. βYour control variable. Your compass. We needed to understand how a creature like you formed attachments, what altered your judgement. What humanised you.β
Phainonβs voice is a growl. βSheβs not a variable.β
βSheβs your pivot, Spider-Man. The reason your risk matrix fluctuates. The reason you pause before you strike. She made you less efficient, and, therefore, more valuable. Which is why we modeled her too. Her responses, her patterns, her tone modulation, her biometric data when sheβs afraid. Itβs poetic, really. We used her to finish the algorithm that began with you. The perfect balance of speed and restraint.β
The lights behind the glass pulse brighter. The figure in the chamber stirs. Itβs not the Flame Reaver. Itβs something else.
Its silhouette is bulkier than his, but it looks wrong. It has slender limbs with plated joints; a split maskβhalf red, half mirrored black; a narrow torso fitted with impact dispersal panels. Something that looks like a spine runs down its back, glowing faintly green. Phainon doesnβt recognise the material, but he can feel the heat rolling off it through the glass.
βItβs a neural sync model,β Lycurgus says, not even trying to hide his pride, βcoded from your reflexes and her empathy thresholds. Itβs capable of piloting independently or under network command. It doesnβt hesitate. It doesnβt panic. And, most importantly, it doesnβt forget.β
Phainonβs heart hammers. His blood feels like itβs gone cold. βYouβre trying to make a Spider-Man that doesnβt need a person inside.β
Lycurgus meets his eyes. βExactly.β
The machine twitches, then steps forward. Its footfalls are silent. Too smooth.
βYou two were only ever reference material,β Lycurgus intones. βAnd now that the templateβs completeβwell. All we need are the final scans.β
βWhere is she? Where is she?βΒ
Itβs all Phainon can do to stop himself from ripping Lycurgusβ throat out. The scientist merely adjusts the sleeve of his lab coat, as if the demand were a mild inconvenience.
βSheβs nearby,β he says coolly. βLower containment. Cell B-4, off the neural calibration wing. You wonβt get far without triggering lockdown, of course. And even if you doβby the time you reach her, Irontomb will already be online.β
Behind the glass, the machine lifts its head. The sound it makes isnβt mechanical. Itβs worseβsoft, distorted, like the playback of a familiar voice through cracked speakers. It twitches once, then again, shoulders rolling into a combat stance eerily like his own.
Phainon doesnβt wait. He fires a webline directly at Lycurgus and yanks. The man stumbles, but Phainon slams him against the server wall hard enough to knock the breath out of him. Wires clatter. A tower crashes sideways.
Lycurgus laughs, even as Phainon pins him in place. βYou think youβre here to save her,β he says, breathless, βbut youβre too late. Sheβs already part of it.β
βI swear to Godββ Phainon hisses, pressing the heel of his palm to Lycurgusβ throat. βI swear to God, if you touched herββ
βI didnβt have to,β the man croaks. βShe volunteered. Not knowingly, of course. But those scans she took from our systems? They included a compressed tracer file. As soon as she opened them, our systems opened her. The sync began the moment she pieced it together. Everything she knowsβtactical behaviour, voice modulation, interrogation strategyβitβs all feeding the AI as we speak.β
βYou fed off of us.β Phainonβs grip tightens. Lycurgus grunts.
βYes,β the scientist says. βAnd you should be proud. Irontomb wonβt just replicate your choicesβit will refine them, strip away all the guilt, the softness. It will be cleaner. Smarter. Perfect.β
Something shudders behind the glass. The observation lights dim.
A low thrum starts up from behind the glass, like a heartbeat filtered through static. The strobe pulses once, then again, casting the chamber in a deep, electric violet. Inside, Irontomb lifts its hand with unsettling grace and slowly curls its fingers into a fist. The joints click into place with too much precision. A webline ejectsβthin, metallic, laced with a crackle of electric currentβand shoots into the rafters. It latches onto the ceiling brace, and just like that, the chamber is empty.
The reinforced door behind Phainon slams open with a hydraulic hiss. He whirls around. Lycurgus barely has time to flinch before Phainonβs hand closes around his collar and hurls him to the ground. The scientist crashes into the wall beside a rack of servers, skull cracking against plastic. A second later, the emergency klaxons explode to life, screaming overhead in jagged bursts.
CONTAINMENT BREACH. HALL A-7. PRIORITY UNIT ACTIVATED.
Red warning lights flare to life, pulsing in harsh rhythm. The sterile corridor floods with shadow and noise. Phainon bolts.
Thereβs no time to thinkβhe fires a webline into the open mouth of the elevator shaft and dives. Wind roars past his ears. He drops three floors in seconds, catches himself on a rusted support beam, and slams down onto the concrete sublevel with a bone-jarring thud. His boots hit the ground hard enough to rattle the pipes overhead.
The lower corridors are not like the rest of the facility. Thereβs no dust, no decay. These halls are clean, too cleanβlike the world above was only a faΓ§ade. Bright, artificial light hums from the ceiling. Every footstep echoes.
He sprints forward, ducking under support beams and sliding past corners. NEURAL CALIBRATION β, the wall tells him. He follows the signs, pulse thundering. Every flicker of motion at the edge of his vision makes him tense. Every blinking light feels like a red eye watching.
Phainon skids to a halt in front of a door labelled Cell B-4.
The door is solid, made of reinforced steel with a flat-panel biometric reader. Thereβs no handle, or keypad. Phainon swears. βCome on, come onββ
From the other side, something shifts. He hears a voice, muffled and strained. β...Phainon?β
He chokes on relief. βIβm here.β
Youβre alive.
He scrambles to his web shooter, fingers flying over the dial. He adjusts the pressure valve, toggles it to maximum discharge, and fires at the scanner from point-blank range. The panel erupts in sparks. Circuits shriek. The door eases open, exhaling sterile, recycled air into the hallway.
Youβre inside, strapped to a containment recliner, limbs limp but intact. Wires trail from your temples, your clavicle, your pulse points. A monitor nearby is still running diagnosticsβwaveforms still climbing and falling in time with your heart. Your eyes crack open, bleary, and your head lolls to the side.
βHi,β you whisper, voice thin as gauze.
βHi, yourself,β Phainon says, crossing the room with long strides. His voice breaks.
His hands go straight to the leads, fingers trembling as he tears them free. Adhesive snaps off skin. Electrodes clatter to the floor. He moves gently, cradling your jaw to keep your head upright as he removes the final lead from behind your ear.
He lifts you from the chair. Your body sags against his chest, legs folding beneath you. You groan softly as your feet try to hold your weight, but he doesnβt let them. He tightens his grip until youβre fully anchored against him. You smell like static and sedation. Like cold metal and something scorched.
βIrontomb,β you breath, half-slurred. βItβs awake. Itβ¦ used me. Ran simulations. My voice. Myββ
βI know,β he murmurs. βI know. Weβre getting out of here.β
You lean heavier into him with every step he takes away from the chair. Your breathing is uneven, shallow. But Phainon can tell youβre coming backβyour pulse steadying, your fingers twitching where they rest near his collar. He wants nothing more than to get you out, to break every wall between here and the surface, to make you forget this place ever existed.
But the walls hum. The lights tremble. Heβs not fast enough. The reinforced door behindΒ him explodes inward.
Irontomb barrels through in a burst of silver and red. The strobe overhead flickers with the force of its entry, casting the scene in freeze-frame shadows. It doesnβt look like a machine as it charges. Phainon spins, turning his back to the blast to shield you. Debris pelts his shoulder as the room shakes. Irontomb stops, silent and still, in the doorway. Its mirrored mask splits slightly, revealing a narrow gleam of green light that pulses in rhythm with the lithium core humming somewhere deep inside it.
The voice it speaks with is your own.
βPhainon.β
The blood drains from his face.
You stir weakly in his arms. βThatβs notβthatβs not meββ
βI know,β he whispers.
It tilts its head, mimicking the motion exactly. βYou hesitate at a 3.2% deviation rate when sheβs within ten feet. Your aim skews left. Your heart rate spikes.β
Phainon doesnβt respond. He adjusts his grip around your waist, gently easing you towards the floor behind him.
βYou always protect the variable, even when the variable is hunting you down,β Irontomb says. βThat makes you predictable.β
Phainon doesnβt wait for it to move. He fires. A blast of webbing snaps towards the machineβs legsβbut it dodges, not quickly or instinctively, but perfectly. It anticipates his angle, catches the web in midair with one mechanical hand, and yanks hard.
Phainon is ripped forward off his feet and slammed into the wall hard enough to fracture plaster. He recovers fast, flipping up and sticking to the ceiling. His shoulder throbs. The moment Irontomb lunges again, he launches, meeting it midair. They clash in a whirl of webbing, steel, and bone. Irontomb fights like itβs studied him for yearsβand it has. It parries his kicks, reads the tension in his arms before he swings. It knows where heβll move before he does.
Every strike Phainon throws is met with a calculated block, every dodge answered with a counter-blow. The machine is faster. Stronger. But not desperateβand Phainon is desperate.
βThe server room!β you shout, and Phainon sees you staggering up to your feet, still valiantly trying to fight whatever they injected into your bloodstream. βTake it to the server room! Follow me!β
Phainon doesnβt hesitate. He hears your voiceβunsteady, but clearβand thatβs all he needs. He spins midair, flips back onto the ceiling, and fires a pair of quick weblines towards Irontombβs shoulders. They stick, just barely. The machine lunges to rip them off, but Phainon yanks hard, using the momentum to slam Irontomb face-first into the far wall with a screech of metal on metal. The moment the machine hits, Phainonβs already moving.
βGo!β you shout again, breath ragged. βDonβt fight it hereβthey control the lithium core from the server room!β
Phainon tears towards you, lands beside you, and sweeps an arm around your waist to stabilise you just as you start to buckle. Your skinβs cold with effort, sweat sheening your forehead, but your grip on his suit is firm.Β
βCan you run?β he pants.
βCan you carry me?β
He grins through bloodied teeth. βAlways.β
He hooks one arm under your legs and lifts you effortlessly, pivoting towards the corridor just as Irontomb peels itself from the wall. The lights in the hallway ahead flash red with the alarm, casting everything in pulses of warning. Phainon doesnβt look back. He runs.
You clutch at his shoulder as he barrels down the corridor, webbing the corners ahead of him to pivot faster. Irontombβs footsteps are thunder behind youβprecise, mechanical, relentless. It doesnβt rush. It doesnβt pant. It just follows, its gait perfectly even as it absorbs every new piece of data from your movement, your trajectory, your speed.
βItβs learning again,β you murmur.
Phainon grits his teeth. βTell me where to go.β
βLeft!β you gasp, pointing weakly down the branching corridor as you cling to his shoulder. βThe blueprints said the server room was by the freight lift, and IβI stole Lycurgusβ key card before he sedated meββ
Phainon veers sharply, feet sliding for purchase on the slick floor as he swings you into the left hallway. Behind him, Irontomb adjusts its trajectory instantly, recalibrating mid-chase, its movements eerily silent save for the low whir of its servos and the electric buzz of its core. Every footstep lands with surgical precision, not wasting an ounce of energy.
He finds the lift shaft up ahead, the gate already torn off its hingesβsomeone had passed through here in a hurry. Phainon doesnβt stop running. He fires a webline to the upper scaffolding and swings both of you through the open shaft.
The moment youβre both airborne, Irontomb enters the shaft behind you. You hear it climbing. It doesnβt need webbing. Itβs fast, powerful, climbing straight up the walls like a spider. A cold burst of static prickles the back of your neck as you look over Phainonβs shoulder and see its split-face mask glowing faintly with that same green hum pulsing in time with your own heartbeat.
βDonβt look down,β Phainon mutters through clenched teeth.
βYou mean donβt look up,β you reply, voice tight.
He doesnβt argue. Two more floors. Thatβs all you need.
Phainon angles towards the next levelβs opening, yanks hard on the web, and swings both of you clean through it. You hit the ground hard, momentum rolling you both across the floor in a rough tumble. He absorbs most of the impactβshoulder first, then hipβbut keeps you tucked in his arms the whole way.
The server roomβs door looms ahead, sealed with thick glass and reinforced by a biometric panel.
βCan you override it?β he asks, already placing you down on your feet.
You stagger once, then nod. βIβI can try.β
Phainon presses a palm to your lower back, steadying you as you stumble towards the wall-mounted keypad. You swipe your stolen access cardβLycurgusβ clearance still hot in the systemβand slam your hand against the override scanner. It flashes yellow, then green.
The second the server room door hisses open, Phainon knows itβs wrong. The air is too clean, too still, not like a hospital, but lifeless, like the room itself doesnβt care if he walks in or burns alive. Server towers stretch in columns across the floor, blinking. The lights arenβt just white, theyβre clinical, buzzing just above his pain threshold. Everything smells like copper and static and scorched plastic.
At the far end, housed behind reinforced glass, is the core. It pulses, like a heartbeat, except itβs not alive. Itβs lithium, itβs electricity, itβs something that was never supposed to breatheβbut it is, somehow.
He doesnβt like it.
He crosses the threshold, half-dragging you with him. Youβre a weight he doesnβt mind carryingβyouβre grounding, real, a reminder that not everything in this godforsaken place is synthetic or made in a lab.
βIβll buy us a minute,β he mutters.
You donβt respond. Youβre already goneβmentally, physicallyβmoving with purpose even though you can barely stay on your feet. He wants to help you, wants to make you sit down, but he doesnβt. Youβve always been like this: stubborn, focused, razor-sharp under pressure. He admires it even when it scares him.
He stations himself at the door, arms braced and knees bent. His ribs hurt. His headβs still ringing from the last slam against the wall. But adrenaline is louder than pain.
The wall explodes. He hears it before he sees itβthe thrum of Irontombβs feet, the deep thunk-thunk-thunk of heavy footsteps.
βPhainon,β it says again, in your voice. βYou hesitate at a 3.2% deviation rate when sheβsββ
βYou said that already, dipshit,β Phainon snarls, hurling himself forward.
He slams into Irontomb. The impact jars through every vertebra in his spine, but he doesnβt stop, doesnβt give it time to recalibrate. His shoulder clips its chest hard enough to knock them both off balance, and they go crashing through a row of server towers in a spray of sparks and shattering plex.
Irontomb hits the floor, skidding, its limbs flailing for a fraction of a second. Phainonβs already on it, knee to the chestplate, webbing its arm to the ceiling in a single fluid movement.
βYou donβt get to use her voice,β he spits, voice hoarse, hands shaking as he fires again. Webs stick to its mask, its joints, anything he can reach. βYou donβt get to be her.β
Irontomb doesnβt flinch. Its head tilts again, that creepy mimicry sparking rage like gasoline in his chest.
βShe is a variable,β it says, still in your voice. βAll decisions lead back to her. All risk converges.β
He grits his teeth. βShut the fuck up.β
It wrenches its arm free from the ceiling and drives a knee into his ribs. Something cracksβhe doesnβt have time to find out what. The air is knocked out of him, but he rolls, using the momentum to web-sling up to the overhead rigging.
He fires a line down, yanking hard. Metal groans, and a rack of exposed conduit tears free, crashing down onto Irontombβs legs. The machine stumbles, crushed under the weight for a beat too long. Enough for Phainon to dive.
He hits it again, fists slamming into metal, fury blinding him. He doesnβt have a plan anymore, doesnβt need one. He just needs to keep it away from you. Even as he fights, he hears the beep of the console across the room, feels the glow of the core intensify.
Youβre doing it. Youβre actually doing it. Irontomb knows.
It shoves him back with unnatural strength. Phainon hits the wall hard enough to dent the steel. Before he can stand, itβs already halfway across the room, limbs unfurling, shoulder joints clicking, webline primed to fireβ
βNo,β Phainon croaks. He pushes himself up, panting, every inch of him burning, and fires. Web meets Irontombβs leg. The pull is immediate. But instead of resisting, he yanks himself towards itβinto itβslamming shoulder-first into the side of its neck just as it raises an arm to fire at you.
They crash to the floor, grappling, fists slamming into one another like machines. Except Phainon isnβt one. His body gives, bruises, bleeds. Irontombβs doesnβt.
βYour biology is compromised,β it says. βYou are inefficient, slower, in pain. The variable will not survive long without augmentation.β
βYouβre not her,β he spits. βYou donβt even sound like her.β
Out of the corner of his eyeβthrough the haze of painβhe sees you rise to your feet, the console spitting warnings in every direction. Your hands hover over the control screen. One more step, one more commandβ
The core behind the glass begins to scream, not audibly, not to the ears, but inside his skull. Irontomb shudders beneath him. Its limbs jerk erratically, the green glow from its spine flickering. Sparks burst from the plates along its back.
You did it.
Phainon throws himself back just as Irontomb seizes violently, crashing to the floor, limbs twitching. Its mask fractures. Smoke pours from the base of its spine as the lithium core begins to destabilise.
He doesnβt exhale until the lights stop flickering. Heβs already moving before the sound fades completely, his muscles sluggish, overworked, body bruisedβbut moving. His chest is burning. His lungs taste like copper and ozone. His ribs feel cracked. But none of it matters.
Youβre still on your knees, hunched over the console, and for one horrifying second, youβre not moving.
βHey.β He drops down beside you fast. βHeyβhey. You good? Talk to me.β
Your head lolls towards him, eyes glassy with exhaustion but alert. You nod and he catches your weight as you say sideways into his shoulder.
βIβm here,β you say, voice like sandpaper.Β
βYeah,β he breathes. βYeah, you are.β
He pulls off his mask and folds one arm around your back and steadies you against him, his gloved hand cradling the back of your neck, just to prove youβre really here. Still warm. Still breathing. Your heart thuds weakly through your shirt when he presses his other hand to your chest, just fast enough to reassure him that the nightmare hasnβt reset.
You lean into him more fully, your head tucked under his jaw, like youβre afraid to look at the room behind you. Good. You shouldnβt have to. Heβll look for both of you.
The servers are smoking. Irontomb is a heap of metal now, sparking quietly beside the remains of a shattered cabinet. One of its hands is still twitchingβreflex, probably. Not real. Not alive.
Still, Phainon keeps you close.
You shift, barely enough to get your mouth near his collarbone. βYou okay?β
Phainon lets out something halfway between a laugh and a groan. βGonna need twelve years of physical therapy. Minimum.β
Your breath catches on a tired laugh. It sounds like a miracle.
βYou look like hell,β you murmur, slurring a little now, like the adrenalineβs finally wearing off.
βYeah, well,β he mutters, pressing his forehead to yours. βYou shouldβve seen the other guy.β
Itβs three in the morning, and the sky is the colour of soot.
The city below doesnβt sleep so much as it holds its breath. The clamour of traffic has thinned to a distant hush, streetlamps stutter, and a single train rumbles across a bridge miles away. Sirens have long gone quiet. No engines scream. No horns beg for way. The night is still, but not gentle.
Itβs a stillness born of aftermathβsharp-edged and hollow, as if the concrete itself remembers what happened.
Phainon hangs upside down from a rusting fire escape three storeys above your apartment window, legs hooked neatly over a bar that groans faintly under his weight. Heβs perfectly still, suspended in gravityβs indifferent hold, his fingers hanging loose above the cracked sidewalk below.
This is how he thinks best lately: inverted, half a world away from the one that keeps asking him to play hero. The metal is cold through his suit. The air smells like dust.
Heβs grown used to these late hours. Heβs begun to need them.
After Lycurgus vanished off the grid, escaping into whatever black-market pipelines recycles men like himβscientists with messiah complexes and fingerprints scrubbed cleanβPhainon finds his pulse only slows in those long hours between dawn and dusk.
He watches your window. Itβs open again, just slightly. It always is now. Heβs never asked you why.
The official line is a βbiochemical systems breach.β Itβs what the public got. But the real reportsβclassified, sealed, redacted in wide black strokesβtold a different story. Theoros Labs didnβt just go rogue; they were funded, sponsored, protected. There was infrastructure behind Irontomb, names buried in layers of clearance, strings running all the way up into the gut of the government. Someone had authorised the prototypes. Someone had approved neural mapping. Someone had known what they were doing.
Youβve testified three times already. You come home each time stiff-backed and silent, eyes rimmed in exhaustion, your voice quieter than usual like youβre still somewhere inside the sterile halls of the oversight committee. You never tell him the details, but you donβt have to. Heβs seen the files. Heβs seen it in person. He knows what Irontomb made of your voice, how it pitched your laugh, how it whispered his name. He knows what it did to you.
You both have nightmares now.
Sometimes itβs Irontomb itself, eyes burning green behind a mirrored face, moving too perfectly to be real. Sometimes, itβs worse: itβs you, only not. Itβs him, only cold. Versions of yourselves that werenβt forged in kindness or fear, but in numbers and algorithms, in prediction models and nerve signal scans. He wakes choking, palms clenched, sweat cold on his back.
Thatβs when he comes to you, climbing through the window, silent and unmasked. You never greet him. You just shift in bed, roll slightly toward the wall, and make room beneath the blanket without opening your eyes. Some nights he lies on his back and stares at the ceiling. Others, he faces you. Sometimes your fingers find each other under the sheets and tangle in that uncertain, half-asleep way that makes the silence easier to bear.
Phainon stares at your open window, at the way the curtain ghosts inward on the faintest breeze. The world looks soft from up here, but his world is down there, just beyond the windowsill.
He drops from the fire escape without a sound.
The thud of his landing on the balcony is soft. His boots press against the worn stone for half a second before he steps toward your window, one gloved hand brushing the glass as he ducks inside.
Your apartment is dim, lit only by the sleepy spill of orange streetlight filtering through the curtains. The air is warmer here, touched with the faint smell of cinnamon and coffee roast, and the remnants of detergent in your sheets.
Youβre curled up under the blanket, spine facing him, shoulders rising and falling in that slow rhythm heβs memorised. He doesnβt know if youβre asleep or pretending. It doesnβt matter. You always know when heβs here. You always leave the window cracked just enough.
He toes off his boots quietly, then strips off the top half of his suit, the fabric sticking to sweat-damp skin. His body aches with something deeper than bruises, like fatigue. But it fades the moment he lowers himself into the mattress behind you.
(Heβs in love with you, heβs pretty sure.)
βDo you want to date me?β
The question startles Phainon so much he almost drops the wire heβs threading back into place, and nearly slides off the metal railing altogether. He catches himself with a clatter, boots locking tighter to the beam, arms splayed for balance.
β...Sorry, what?β he calls down.
Youβre standing several feet below him, arms crossed, watching him with an unreadable expressionβequal parts brave and vulnerable. You donβt repeat the question. You just lift your chin a little, eyes steady.
Phainon blinks at you from his upside-down perch, hair hanging towards the concrete, the city stretching behind him. Heβs in his suit, sleeves rolled up, mask bunched around his neck, grease on one knuckle, a thin wire looped loosely around his fingers. The early evening air is warm, golden light pooling along the skyline.
βYouβyou mean date-date?β he asks dumbly, like thereβs another kind.
You nod once, not smiling. βYeah. Date-date.β
Phainon stares at you, the wire still slack in his fingers. The sunlightβs catching on the edge of your cheekbone, painting it gold. You look so certain, so calm, like you havenβt just thrown his entire nervous system into a tailspin.Β
He opens his mouth. Closes it. Then he scrubs a hand over his face, smearing a bit of grease across his jawline. βOkay. Thatβsβjust to be clear, youβre asking me if I want to date you. Like, go on dates, hold hands, maybe make out a little? Eat food together that isnβt waffles at five in the morning?β
βYou make it sound so romantic,β you say dryly.
βIβm hanging upside down in my Spider-Man suit with wire cutters in my hand,β he says, voice rising an octave. βYou kind of caught me off-guard.β
You raise an eyebrow. βYou want me to come back when youβre right-side up?β
Phainon laughs, but itβs strained, caught somewhere between breathless and disbelieving. He shifts slightly on the bar. βNo,β he says. βNo, donβtβdonβt go. I justβ¦β His fingers curl loosely around the railing. βYou really mean it? Like, seriously?β
You shrug, but your voice softens. βWhy would I joke about that?β
βI donβt know,β he says. βI mean, have you met me?β
You walk a step closer, now standing directly beneath him. βYes. Thatβs kind of the point.β
Phainon stares at you, still upside down, still blinking like he hasnβt quite caught up with reality. His breath stutters, shallow through parted lips. The last of the sun has dipped below the horizon, and now the city is painted in deepening blue, rooftops etched in sharp lines against a sky the colour of cobalt ash.
You, however, are still golden; still lit from the inside out, like the question didnβt cost you anything, like you didnβt just tip the entire balance of his world in six words flat.
He swallows hard.
βI want to,β he says. βI want to date you.β
You nod, just once. But the tremble in your exhale betrays you. βOkay.β
You shift a little closer to where heβs hanging. The wind tousles your hair. You squint at him.
βCan I kiss you now?β you ask.
Phainon opens his mouth. No sound comes out.
His brain is screaming, Yes, God, yes, obviously, what do you think Iβve been dreaming about every night for the last year? But what actually escapes his mouth is an undignified, βI meanβyeah. If you want.β
You smile, small but warm, and step forward until youβre close enough that he can see the flecks of light in your irises. His pulse pounds at the base of his throat.
βHold still,β you say.
And PhainonβSpider-Man, night-patroller, rooftop-skulker, awkward wreck of a man in loveβholds so, so still.
You reach up, slowly. Your hand is warm as it cups the curve of his cheek. He flinches a little, not because of the touch, but because of how gentle it is. Heβs not used to being touched like that. Your thumb brushes the edge of his jaw, dragging across the grease-stained skin. He forgets how to breathe.
Then, you lean in and kiss him.
Itβs awkward, at first. The angleβs all wrong. You have to stand on your toes, and he has to tilt just right, his body swaying slightly with the breeze, but none of it mattersβnot when your lips touch his, not when the world goes so achingly, impossibly quiet. Itβs soft, firmer than he expects, and yet not rushed. You kiss him like youβve wanted to for a long time, like youβve thought about it, like the moment had already existed somewhere in your mind long before you asked the question.
Phainon melts. He doesnβt move for the first few seconds; just hangs there, lips barely parted, letting you take the lead because heβs terrified that if he so much as breathes, youβll disappear. But then something in him sparksβan ancient, quiet wantβand he kisses you back.
He moves slowly, deliberately, meeting you where you are. His lips are dry and chapped from hours in the wind, but heβs warm beneath them, and his breath hitches in that small, helpless way that always happens around you. He tightens his grip on the bar, as though holding himself in place is the only way to keep from falling for real.
Eventually, you pull away.
His eyes open slowly, lashes low over dark, dazed pupils. His lips are parted, red and kiss-bruised.
βThat wasβ¦β He clears his throat. βWow.β
You smile, head tilting. βStill want to date me?β
βI want to marry you,β he blurts, then immediately flushes crimson. βI meanβhypothetically. Not now. Obviously not now. Iβm hanging upside down. Iβve got wire cutters in my pocket. But you get the idea.β
You laugh, and he grins.Β
βCome down, you idiot,β you say, still smiling. βBefore your brain floods and I have to explain to emergency services that Spider-Man died because he let his blood rush to his head.β
βYes, maβam,β he mutters, already adjusting his grip. With a practiced motion, he swings backward once, then forward, and flips cleanly down onto the concrete beside you in a crouch, landing with a thud and a soft grunt. He straightens slowly, rubbing at the back of his head.
When he looks up again, youβre already walking towards him. You grab the front of his suit, tug gentlyβand then kiss him again, properly this time. He melts into it, hands hovering at your hips. You take the initiative again, stepping closer, your fingers sliding up his chest to cup his face as your mouth slants against his. The second kiss is deeper, more certain, less careful.
When you pull away, you donβt go far. You rest your forehead against his, both of you breathing hard. His hands settle around your waist now, not hesitant anymore, not unsure.
βYouβre sure about this?β he whispers.
βIβm sure.β
βOkay,β he says. βOkay.β
He kisses you again, because he can, because he wants to. Because thereβs no machine looming over his shoulder, no countdown, no artificial voice running simulations on how to hurt you best.
Thereβs only this: you, and him, and the golden hour dimming into twilight. Phainon lets you pull him back into the world right-side up.
Phainon thinks heβs a pretty good boyfriend.
Okay, maybe not, like, great. He has a running tab of things heβs fumbled: texts left on read for six hours because he was halfway across the city chasing someone with rocket boots, half-finished promises to pick up groceries, laundry thatβs been folded but never quite put away. Date nights sometimes fall through. Movie plans get postponed. He loses track of time a lot.
But he always comes home. He always makes you laugh, even when you pretend to be annoyed with him. He never forgets the dates that matter, and never lets you go to sleep without hearing that he loves you, mumbled or whispered or scrawled on a Post-It if heβs back late. Heβs trying. God, heβs trying.
And right now, looking at youβmessy-haired, breathless, flushed and sprawled across the mattress like you belong there, like you belong with himβhe thinks maybe heβs doing alright.
Phainon kisses down your ribs, trailing his mouth across your stomach. You shift beneath him, a little restless, a little expectant. He likes thatβyou trusting him enough to be open like this. It still hits him sometimes, like an aftershock, that you let him touch you like this. That you want him to.
He exhales slowly as he nudges lower, one arm curled under your thigh. His lips brush the inside of your hip, the softness of your skin, and he feels you shiver. Gently, he moves lower, and flicks his tongue over your clit.
You gasp, hand threading into his hair, and he smiles against you, slow and lazy and a little smug. He likes knowing he can do this to you. Likes knowing exactly how your breath hitches when he moves just right. He doesnβt rush. He never does with you. Every motion is measured, learned, almost reverent. He listensβto the catch in your throat, the flex of your fingers, the little half-sigh you try to swallow and canβt.
His grip on your hips tightens as you shift, as your thighs close around his shoulders, and he groans low in his chest, the sound vibrating softly between you.
βPhainon,β you whisper, voice thready. He loves the way you say his name. He hums again in response, and the way you respond to thatβyour spine arching, your mouth letting loose a litany of moansβmakes him want to give you more.
When he finally slides two fingers into you, careful and deep, you let out a sound that makes him smile. Phainon exhales against your thigh, the sound shaky with restraint. Your muscles flutter around him, every inch of you wound tight. He watches you fall apart in incrementsβyour fingers twisting in the sheets, your jaw slack with pleasure, your chest heaving.
βRight there?β he murmurs, half-teasing but wholly focused.
You nod, or maybe you donβtβyouβre too far gone to speak, but your body answers for you: the way your hips shift, the way your leg curls around his shoulder, the soft whimper that escapes your lips. He presses in again, just a little firmer, curling his fingers the way he knows you like.
His mouth trails slow kisses along the inside of your thigh, tongue flicking over sensitive skin. He never rushes. He never wants to. Not with you.
βPhainon,β you breathe again. βOh, fuckββ
He presses his mouth back to your folds, his fingers still working inside you with the same care. Heβs mapping you like heβs been doing since the beginningβlike every sigh is a star to chart by, every moan a signal flare. Heβs learned to read you in a language no one else gets to learn.
Youβre shaking now, your whole body strung tight as wire beneath his mouth. Your nails bite into his shoulder and you donβt even seem to noticeβdonβt seem to careβbecause youβre so close, teetering at the edge of your orgasm, sharp and sweet and inevitable.
A few more strokes and sucks and licks have you coming for himβarching, gasping, crying out his name. When the aftershocks start to fade, he eases off, kisses the softest parts of your skin as you tremble under him. His fingers slip from you gently. He brushes a hand over your thigh, up your hip, until heβs sliding over you again, kissing a slow trail back up your ribs and chest until heβs beside you.
Your eyes are closed, lips parted, still catching your breath. He watches youβeyes half-lidded, lashes damp, chest rising and fallingβand then you blink up at him, a smile tugging at your lips like youβre not quite sure how to speak yet. Your skin is still warm, flushed in a way that makes Phainon want to memorise every inch of you all over again.
He brushes his knuckles over your cheek in that way he does when he doesnβt know what to say. βStill in there?β
You blink once, then smile with that crooked little grin he loves. βAsk me again in five minutes.β
He huffs a soft laugh and shifts to lie beside you, propping himself up on one elbow. His hand trails lazily over your stomach, fingers smoothing across the soft skin just above your hipbone, drawing idle shapes.
βNot bad for a guy who forgot to buy milk this morning, right?β he says.
You laugh and shove his shoulder. βPhainon!β
βI mean, I mightβve failed you on the breakfast front, but I like to think I made up for it inβ¦ other areas.β
You scoff, but itβs half a laugh, and the sound curls like a ribbon in Phainonβs chest. He watches the way your face softens when youβre amusedβhow your eyes crinkle at the corners, how your mouth fights not to smile wider.
βThatβs debatable,β you say, rolling to face him fully.
βOh, come on,β he says. βYou sounded pretty convinced a few minutes ago.β
βDonβt let it go to your head.β
βToo late.β Phainon grins, and leans forward to bump his forehead against yours.
He feels like his heartβs trying to claw its way out of his chest, not in the life-threatening, nine-storeys-up, villain-hurling-him-off-a-building kind of way, but the kind where itβs just him and you, tangled in sheets, skin flushed. The kind of moment that makes his brain go a little fuzzy and his chest go tight, because heβs pretty sure this isnβt just a good dayβitβs the day. The one people write songs and poems and stupid rom-coms about.
(Youβre right there, inches from him, breathing the same air, and all he can think is: I hope I never forget this.)
He tries to play it cool, like heβs not falling apart from something as small as the curve of your smile, the way your fingers brush along his jaw like youβre trying to memorise him right back. But itβs a losing battle. Heβs smiling too hard, the stupid kind that tugs at his cheeks.Β
βYouβre staring,β you say.
βYeah,β he says, without even pretending otherwise. βI know.β
His hand is still on your waist, the tips of his fingers tracing small, slow patterns into your skin. He wants to tell you a thousand thingsβabout how heβs never felt safer than he does when heβs beside you, about how it doesnβt matter if the world ends tomorrow so long as he got to know what your laugh sounded like when it was just for him. But the words get stuck somewhere behind his teeth.
You roll your eyes at him like you always do when youβre trying not to smile. βWhat are you thinking?β you ask.
Phainon opens his mouth to say something clever. He doesnβt. Instead, he says, βThat I like you.β
βYeah?β you say teasingly. βI had no clue.β
He smiles. βSometimes I think this isnβt real. Like Iβm gonna wake up in some busted rooftop vent or in the middle of a car chase, and all thisβll just be some nice dream I had when my brain was low on oxygen.β
βItβs real,β you whisper. βDo you want me to kiss you like real people do? Because I will. Donβt test me.β
(Phainon kisses you first, just to prove heβs real enough to do it.)
a/n: this is my favourite fic that iβve ever written. thanks for reading!
β§ they loved you too late β itoshi sae, karasu tabito, tartaglia, scaramouche, zhongli, baizhu, phainon, mydei, anaxa, sunday, dr. ratio, sukuna, and megumi x gn!reader (all separate) β incl. mentions of death, angst no comfort πΰ§ sometimes i wonder what hananene could've been
ITOSHI SAE never looked at you the way you looked at him. His eyes were always elsewhereβon the pitch, on his future, on anything but you. You told yourself it was enough to just exist in his orbit, to cheer him on even when he didn't hear. Maybe he thought you'd always be there. It wasn't until the stands were emptier than usual, until your voice no longer rose above the crowd, that he wondered why the silence felt like punishment. But he realized too late. You had always loved him, and he had never given you the chance to stop.
KARASU TABITO laughed off your devotion, brushing it away as a joke. That was Karasu, never taking things seriously, never believing anyone could want him without reason. You stayed anyway, even when his teasing cut deeper than he knew. But when someone else told him where you'd gone, why you wouldn't come back, the smile cracked. For once, he couldn't make light of it. You'd loved him until you couldn't anymore, until the world itself forced you to stop.
TARTAGLIA thought protecting you meant pushing you away. You were soft and unguardedβthings his bloodstained hands didn't deserve to touch. So he built walls, smiled too easily, pretended he didn't notice the way your eyes lingered on him. When he finally returned from a mission to ask for forgiveness for the fight he caused before he left, he was met with only quiet. The silence stretched, final and unyielding, and he understood with crushing clarity that you had waited as long as you could.
SCARAMOUCHE believed that every word between you seemed to wound him. You loved him too openly, too recklessly, and he spat venom back each time, convinced love was a weapon meant to destroy him. You bore it, thinking that one day, maybe he'd understand. That it wasn't his fault, after all he'd been betrayed far too many times to open his heart willingly. When that day came, your warmth had already slipped beyond his reach. He found no trace of you except the remnants of your patience lingering like a betrayal he caused.
ZHONGLI valued patience, endurance, eternity itself. He mistook your waiting for something everlasting. Each time you reached for him, he said there would be time later, tomorrow, after obligations, after contracts. But there was no "later." By the time he finally reached for you, your hands had already grown cold. For the first time in centuries, Zhongli realized how quickly time could run out for a mortal being.
BAIZHU cared for everyone, and so you believed he cared for you too. But his smiles were always distant, weighed down with guilt, with loss, with something that wasn't you. You told yourself it didn't matterβyou would love enough for both of you. When the news of your passing reached him, he stood frozen, herbs leaving his grasp. He had been so busy trying to save the world that he hadn't noticed the one person always there for him slipping away.
PHAINON dismissed your affection with playful teasing. He never meant to hurt you. Every time you reached for him, he hesitated, stepping back with a small, apologetic smile. He had too much of a burden to bear, the two of you would never last. It would be unfair of him to reveal his darker side to you, unfair to unload his suffering. You stayed anyway, always patient and kind, brushing off the distance, hoping that he might one day accept what you offered. You waited through each pause, each retreat, each gentle "not now", never doubting the love in your own heart. And then the day come when he could step no closer, and all that remained was the emptiness of your own absence. You had loved him fully, and he had never been able to stop it.
MYDEI called you reckless, warned you not to follow, told you not to care. Still, you did, shadowing his steps, giving your soul even when it went unnoticed, always by his side. You laughed at his stubbornness, soothed his frustration, and let him believe he was untouchable, untamed, unclaimed. He never realized how much you had poured into him until you had no more left to give, until the space beside him was empty, and your warmth no longer lingered.
ANAXA hated how you laughed at his arrogance, found charm in his sharp edges, and loved him despite the walls he built around himself. He thought of your devotion as frivolous, unworthy of his attention, and so he never turned to meet it. Yet you stayed, hoping your love might be enough to reach him. When you were gone, the echo of your laughter remained in his mind even when it was filled with a million other things. You haunted his memories, and he realized only then that you had always been his safe place, and he had let it slip away.
SUNDAY always seemed untouchable precise in every motion. You admired him and loved him quietly, thinking perhaps your patience could reach beneath the layers he'd built. But he recoiled from closeness, afraid that letting anyone in would expose the flaws he'd spent a lifetime hiding, flaws that revealed his failure and shame. But still, you stayed, hoping one day he'd see you. And when that day come, you were long gone. He realized too late that the love you had offered so plainly had been enough to pierce even his carefully maintained armorβand now it was gone forever.
DR. RATIO trusted reason above all, logic over feeling, dismissing your devotion as something inefficient, unmeasurable, beyond calculation. You stayed, nonetheless, giving him small kindnesses that he never seemed to notice. You waited for him to see you, for him to understand that love was not always rational, that patience was a form of power. And now that you've gone, nothing could explain the hollowness gnawing at him, no formula to account for the weight of your absence. He had ignored you, and now it was too late.
AVENTURINE gambled with everythingβhis luck, his charm, his lifeβbut never with his heart. You stayed, smiling, playing along, always willing to bet on him when no one else would. You teased and laughed, matched his reckless energy. But you always hoped he might notice the constancy behind your devotion. And then one day, the game ended, the seat beside him empty. The cards had fallen where they would, and suddenly he understood that he had risked everything and lost the one thing he could never replace: you.
SUKUNA was amused at your devotion when it started, a tiny human daring to love him, as if he would ever need it. He mocked you, tore down your hope, laughed at your persistence, and still you bore it all. Maybe one day he would notice. You stayed a constant in his life when everything else was always shifting, even as he treated your heart like a toy. And then silence came, sharp and final. Even Sukuna, feared and cruel, felt its weight. You had loved him fully, and he had never realized until it was too late.
FUSHIGURO MEGUMI told himself that it was safer this way. That your light, your kindness didn't belong in his darkness. You stayed, as always, even as he pushed you away over and over, always willing to bridge the distance between the two of you. You gave him warmth he never sought and a light he never thought he deserved. And when the shadow finally swallowed you, when your presence faded into memory, he understood too late that you had been the one person he could never replace.
synopsis: You dated Phainon and Mydei.
wc: 746
tags: smut, cunnilingus, blow job, dirty talk, threesome
Dating Phainon and Mydei. The thing that, probably, a lot of people on your campus dreamed about. Tall and gorgeous, top of their classes, always ready to give a hundred percent. Just a living fairy tale - the kind that makes you fucking piss yourself with overwhelming happiness, like a dog seeing its owner come home, because there's so much of it that it doesn't fit up your ass or in your chest.
You, honestly, weren't that different from these people.
You loved too - literally to the point of a sweet ache in your heart, and, being completely honest, to the point of soaking your panties. And also those disgusting butterflies in your stomach that would start fluttering the second you saw those two faces. Like swallowing tapeworms rolled in sugar - fucking vile, but at the same time, you want more. A lot more.
And the problem was that sometimes you overestimated yourself. Too big of an appetite and all that shit - when you decide to chase two rabbits at once, and then they end up fucking you in every hole. Or however that proverb-idiom-who-gives-a-fuck goes.
β "Easy, easy. Don't rush."
Phainon was gentle and tender. His voice held nothing but pure care, multiplied by some kind of holy aura. Like he wasn't shoving his fucking cock down your throat, but feeding you communion off a silver spoon. Probably how Jesus himself would talk - reaching out a hand to both the poor and the ones who've rolled around in shit.
The man's hand on the back of your head pressed down gently. His fingers combed through your hair, turning what used to be a pretty decent braid into a goddamn bird's nest, while you slowly lowered yourself onto his cock. Gradually, trying to find that rhythm without taking it too deep.
But Mydei from behind, of course, didn't give a single flying fuck about all your efforts. You know, about the whole not choking like a normal person thing, or about your eyes rolling back because the tip hit the back of your throat way too fucking fast.
His tongue, - hot as hell, with that absolutely fucking sinful piercing in the middle, - traced either right over your hole or circled your clit. His fingers slid along your folds, wet with natural slick and spit, spread you open, letting him push even deeper inside.
You could feel your legs starting to shake more and more, holding you up worse and worse. You weren't doing a great job sucking, given the circumstances. Kind of a distraction, yeah.
β "You like that?" β Mydei whispers, pulling away from your pussy for a second. β "You're fucking dripping, and I've only just started."
You'd think if you ask a question, you'd expect an answer, right? But apparently this guy didn't give a shit, because the very next second he's pressing his mouth back to you, sucking on your clit, making your entire fucking body jerk. Another second - and you'd have bitten down on Phainon's's cock.
Phainon, for his part, instead of scolding anyone, just ran his hand through your hair, dragged his nails over your skin in a soothing gesture.
β "Be gentler. She's about to fall."
Mydei just snorts in response, and then, - roughly and without warning, - shoves his fingers inside your pussy. You lose your balance; Phainon's cock slides deeper into your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat.
β "Oh, yeah? Well, too late." β and the guy starts fucking you hard and rhythmically, at some absolutely fucking insane angle. So much so that the sheets beneath you start getting soaked fast. β "And look - she just keeps obediently sucking."
β "Mydei." β now Phainon's voice sounds like a warning, but he does grip your hair tighter. You can feel how hard it is for him to hold back, not to fuck your throat deeper.
β "What do you mean 'Mydei'?" β he spreads his fingers apart, then runs his tongue over you again. Another minute of this, and tears are gonna start streaming down your face.
And he was right. Despite your gag reflex, the lack of air making your head spin - you did everything you could, taking that cock.
Phainon's breathing was ragged and heavy because, fuck, he couldn't just start bucking his hips all of a sudden.
Unlike that fucking Mydei, who wanted the exact opposite - to ruin you completely.
a crumb of comfort from my end after what transpired in 3.7 so spoilers
you wake up in your room in the expreβ...
wait...the express?
you clearly remember fighting Irontomb to death...all the alliances, the geniuses, theyβ they were all with you right? so why
how did it end so quickly?
you wake up in hopes of finding your crew in all and well...
but why do you hope to see 13 more faces amongst them? Will your wishes be answered?
"shh! be quiet! he can hear us!" "no no no! I can't do this...!"
you heard shrill mumbles coming from your bathroom which you thought can be an intruder... you grabbed your bat and went in to find it
empty...
blub blub blub bubble bubble...
oh
no wonder
"come on out i know its you" you fold your arms as a smile sneaked up on your lips once the two noisy culprits stood up with Castorice heaving from the effort of holding her breath underwater.
"The golden water gave you two away Cipher and Castorice" you chuckle, feeling fuzzy as you see the two chrysos heirs. "Well someone couldn't hold her breath underwater..." she rolls her eyes as Castorice quickly jumps up to her defence "Not everybody is like Miss Hysilens!"
soon they let you leave to find the other heirs and as you make your way to the parlor car, you see Trinnon and Trianne run in the hallway of the bar.
You chat with Hyacine and Ica who could only doot doot their way in your conversation.
A bright and cheery conversation with Mydei, Aglaea and Cerydra over wine only they drank.
You got over to Trianne and Trinnon where the latter is currently chasing the former with the help of Tribbie. Cute very cute
It's so peaceful...and so warm and happy
In the Passenger Cabin you find Anaxa and Hysilens. With Anaxa who may or may not have taken some very downright blasphemous ideas after looking into the Tin Can's head. After a chit chat, you find Phainon.
You rush over after seeing him. How long it has been since you last saw him. "Long time no see partner!" he greeted you with that sunny smile you came to adore in all those months with him and others as you faced so so many trials and tribulations that it all now feels just like yesterday still lingering at your fingertips.
"Just hearing about Penacony and the Xianzhou Alliance from Dan Heng isn't really enough to make me imagine just how impressive those places sound like!"
"There are many places you can still visit on the cosmos Phainon" you beam excitedly as you tell him about it. "Some village with wheat fields like Aedes Elysiae must exist somewhere then surely?" he smiled but there was a hint of melancholy in his town now having to leave behind his past forever and journey towards the future wiht renewed hope.
"And your pink haired friend is also waiting for you!" he states. "Where is she-" "Oh come on you know she has a way of coming up at the right time"
"He is right my friend"
Ah...there she is, your beloved friend who stayed beside you all this time, all these centuries and cycles.
"Cyrene! what happened? did we win? did Irontomb fall?" you ask frantically your mind racing a thousand miles.
"Well...Irontomb has been defeated but he has not fallen...if we do no contain him then he might rise again but we can think about it later! The Express Car really exceeds my expectations from all those visions and dreams that i saw from you!"
but something feels off...
"So...this is not a dream? You guys are not fake?"
"Hm? Of course we arent't! Although the world that we so desperately fought for is now nothing but a star drifting in the cosmos, it is a seed that will be nurtured to its full growth and Amphoreus will be born anew hehe" she smiles at you, with hope straining her words
"So...you guys will now stay with us? With the Crew?"
"They will journey with us now until they find their own purpose" you hear Himeko's voice as she approaches you with Welt, Dan Heng and March and Pom Pom.
"As the Conductor we have all unanimously decided to let the Heirs stay in the Express for as long they like!" "In this trailblazing journey, we always welcome visitors abroad but they are more than just visitos or passerby to us" Welt fixed his glasses as he sounded Himeko and Pom Pom's claim. March chirped in "Wow! We are catching people from the cosmos like strays now! First it was Sunday then the whole Chrysos Heir group!" Dan Heng said "Well there should be enough room for them"
"What...about you Cyrene? You haven't said anything about staying in the express..."
"Well i still have some unfinished business so... i wish for the cosmos to know about the romantic story that we have penned down for Amphoreus so.." she handed you As I've Written "fill up the blank pages with the epic saga that we foretold" she gave you a wink but you saw how her eyes were threatening to spill the tears
"See you tomorrow then friend! it was a beautiful and romantic journey like no other..." she turned her back
its supposed to be beautiful sure but does it feel so conflicting? so empty? why is this reality like a sweet dream?
"and i hope you will forgive me friend"
until we meet again
farewell, Amphoreus
see you tomorrow, PhiLia093/peach/Elysia
yall got no idea 'bout how badly I cried after completing the quest. its beautiful and the fact that amphoreus might form again if we keep on trailblazing in an unknown number of years is quite comforting which means we might get to see them again