#drifter is queer

[starlightnecromancer]

Sometimes I think about how there's a lot of gender expression in the queer community that is just completely and entirely cut off for fat queers.

Like if you're a fat gay man you're a bear and that's the only gender expression you're "allowed". I've never, ever, seen someone refer to an effeminate fat gay man as a femboy. It doesn't matter if he's dressing the exact same way as the twink (who's gender expression is explicitly about thinness), the twink is a femboy twink and the bear is just a girly bear.

I see it over in sapphic spaces too. Butch is a word that yes is open to women of all sizes but Femme really.... isn't? Femme presumes that you're thin. Sure you can be a fat femme, but your fatness will detract from how femme you are and if you do anything less than High Femme Princess Peach ass shit then you'll be shoved into the Butch Zone despite anyone with eyes knowing that you're not butch you're just a fat femme who didn't have the energy to do her full Instagram Cottage Core outfit today

Its been a known both in and out of the trans community that fatness may as well be its own gender experiance. If you're a cis woman, but you're also fat, your gender is now fat. Oh people will still she/her you, but you're gonna be unpersoned because you're not attractive enough to be a woman. If you're a cis man it'll be the same deal, just repeatedly dehumanized because fatness isn't attractive to mainstream society and if people's boners don't activate then you aren't a real man/woman.

In the nonbinary community its extremely painful because the only view of androgyny is "Skinny twink who could pass for either". If you're fat and also some flavor of nonbinary you get to settle for "Mistaken for a trans man/woman" if you're visibly queer.

[starlightnecromancer]

"UwU trans mascs only write ukulele songs about sad frogs"

Yall gonna address why you associate trans masc music with soft slow and frivolous things that are inherently the subject of ridicule and trans fem music that's hard, aggressive, and violent?

Cause I think yall should.

[starlightnecromancer]

Honestly I don't think I'll ever really feel safe or comfortable around women, especially cis women, until they're willing to deal with the amount of radfem koolaid that they've been drinking.

I likewise want to preface: The way that women are weird about trans men, queer men, and honestly men in general affects trans women. You don't get to whip around go "trans women are women <3" and throw out all the slogans and pins when you see a pretty lady who passes. Because as long as a trans woman is still early in her transition we all know that these women are just as uncomfortable with her as they are any trans guy. Because they still see them as men. Trans fems have talked at length about how their status in the queer community is constantly influx because of how people will pin their AGAB to them as an unforgivable sin.

I shouldn't have to sit there, wondering when the hammer is going to come down and knowing that it will be 100% based on how my transition progresses.

That the more and more that I look and sound like a man, the less that they can pretend that I'm their sweet lil uwu flower boy boykisser in the thigh highs. When I stop looking like a sweet lil femme trying her hand at being butch and just start looking like some redneck who got lost and ended up at a gay nightclub the more and more they'll push me out.

How I won't be able to just talk or chill with my peers anymore without worrying about every step I take, every word I speak, how I won't really ever be safe with them because they're not going to help. Why would they help a man? Never mind the fact that I'm not a man, looking like one is good enough.

And then how my experiences with misogyny will be ignored, or flat out told that it didn't happen. That I'm crazy. Hysterical. Or that I'm lying. How women will feel ownership over my body and despite having #MeToo in their bios and essays on rape culture will feel that its acceptable to put hands on me and feel the changes my transition will have wrought. Because it doesn't count right? If a woman sexually harrasses or assaults you? Because women can't rape, not really. Ignore how many times they say that its possible on their blogs, and twitters, and whatever. Because it won't count because they're a smol bean, who couldn't hurt anyone and they're just curious don't be the monster we all know you are.

And then my experiences with transphobia will be ignored. How its not that serious because "Why do you care? Trans women are getting murdered hourly" when we don't even have stats on trans masc deaths because we get reported and buried as women. When they don't even care about the trans women who are dying, who are in need of help.

[starlightnecromancer]

I love existing in the crossroads of

"I want to be wanted, I want to be desired, and that my body that doesn't conform to cis expectations can still be something sensual and sexy"

and

"Can you mother fuckers write your trans masc headcanon fanfic in something that isn't porn for once in your god damned lives? Is the only way that trans men exist in your head so that you can fuck us?"

[starlightnecromancer]

As an asexual I really really wish people would stop using us as props for their anti-sex, anti-kink, and just overall queerphobic puritanical bullshit.

We're not babies, we're not pure widdle cinnamin rolls, we can handle seeing a guy in chaps. We can handle whatever fucking version of pride that exists in people's heads that's just a big ol public orgy right there on the streets of [MAJOR CITY], [COUNTRY].

Sex repulsed aces are capable of handling themselves in situations where, in public, someone might be a bit spicey. We don't need someone to hold our hands and tell us its gonna be okay.

[starlightnecromancer]

Man I just love that grown ass adults will lose their fucking shit about non binary minors having fun, coining terms for themselves, and over all just enjoying themselves in who they are in a world that tells us that we have to fit ridged boxes even as nonbinary people to be “taken seriously”

Like literally fuck everyone who took “My and my partner call each other our joyfriends” as “This is the new term to replace boyfriend/girlfriend and you Will Do IT under penalty of Death.” if you’re a grown ass adult that pays rent then you should know by now that literally all nonbinary terms that have been proposed for xyz thing have been presented as options.

Yall all about “cringe culture is dead” and “let minors have fun and express themselves” till you wanna send some kid death threats because they had the audacity to call their partner and their partner call them their “joyfriend”

[starlightnecromancer]

Why to truscum think 

1) they’re entitled to my time 2) I’m not going to just do this instead

But anyway, truscum are trash and genital fetishists who don’t care about the trans community or the people they’d theoretically be fucking.

[starlightnecromancer]

Honestly one of the things I’m seeing come from truscum is apparently they’d be 100% down for medicalizing being fucking gay the second any science comes out about a “gay gene” or anything else that makes being gay not a “psychological” thing. 

It’s fucking horrifying and I really need you to take 30 steps back and realize how much this would hurt us if being gay was medicalized like this. If you could actually be diagnosed with gay again. 

You would literally be down for the abuse, deaths, and literal actual eugenics of millions because scientists found out what makes people gay. It would legitimize things that are being done to us now, parents would be able to get away with so much more if that came to pass. 

Truscum don’t actually care about the wellbeing of the community, anyone who’s seen them knows this, but seeing this shit really shows how little they care.