seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Netherlands
seen from Netherlands
seen from Russia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Singapore
seen from Canada
seen from Malaysia
seen from Switzerland
seen from Australia
seen from Australia
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Belgium
seen from China
Update on my "I'm no longer a people pleaser" arc:
- Asked someone to give me space bc I wasn't in the mood to talk to them at that moment
- Told a (now ex) friend of mine exactly why I dropped her as a friend and then blocked her
- Took me time and didn't say sorry for it today
Okay so this is what happened, I dropped all of my old online friends since I was a lonely fuck just like the rest of the population back then, I still am but whatever. I was talking to Melody and she was talking about how she would run away with a motorbike. I was gonna smoke weed with Mahi today but I couldn’t find her so I ended up walking home it was really hot. The water restrictions are kind of annoying but of course I’m following them since I don’t want to be the equivalent of human scum. We had a test today that I didn’t study for so I’m probably gonna finish in Monday when school starts up again. I was talking to Melody and she thinks Asher isn’t a good person. Tbh I don’t think Ashers a good person either, I still stick around for god knows what. Asher has cheated on his boyfriend multiple times and done various other things. Jazmin obsesses over this pig I drew. -Sue
How to silently drop a friend (petty high school edition):
This friend has to be non confrontation or this could go wrong
Have a sweet treat
Share with all your friends except the one you're dropping. Do this right in front of the now ex-friend.
.
[I saw this happen yesterday]
TW: CAPS
(this is usually not the type of stuff I post but people should see this even if it’s common knowledge. sorry it’s in all caps btw /gen)
PSA TO LITERALLY ANYONE:
BREAKING UP/DROPPING A FRIEND THROUGH TEXT OR DIRECT MESSAGE IS A TERRIBLE CONCEPT UNLESS YOU DON’T SEE THEM IRL.
YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE IF YOU TEXT THEM. FOR ALL YOU KNOW THEY COULD BE HAVING A MEAL OR SPENDING TIME WITH FAMILY, OR AT WORK. THEN THEIR MOOD IS RUINED FOR THE ENTIRE DAY. I GOT THE TEXT WHILE I WAS WORKING AND I CRIED IN FRONT OF A CUSTOMER. IT TOOK THIRTY MINUTES FOR ME TO RECOVER AND GET BACK TO WORK, AND GOD BLESS MY MANAGER DURING THAT SHIFT THAT GAVE ME AS MUCH TIME AS I NEEDED BECAUSE I KNOW THERE ARE WORSE MANAGERS THAT WOULD WRITE YOU UP REGARDLESS.
YOU MAY BE THINKING THAT WRITING THINGS OUT WILL HELP YOU BETTER ORGANIZE YOUR THOUGHTS, AND SENDING THIS WOULD BE FASTER BECAUSE OF GOD KNOWS WHEN YOU’LL SEE THEM. I UNDERSTAND THIS COMPLETELY, BUT ACTUALLY SPEAKING TO THE PERSON WILL HELP YOU BE A LOT MORE HONEST. SO PLEASE, EVEN IF YOU SEE THEM ONLY AT SCHOOL, WAIT TO SPEAK TO THEM AT SCHOOL. IF IT’S SUMMER, STILL WAIT OR AT LEAST ASK TO MEET UP WITH THEM FOR THE DISCUSSION.
THE PERSON YOU’RE DROPPING WILL SEE YOU AS A COWARD AND/OR INSENSITIVE IF YOU DON’T DO THESE. IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU TRY TO JUSTIFY ANY OF IT. YOU ARE BREAKING A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP OFF, AND YOU MOSTLY LIKELY DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS/MEANT TO THIS PERSON.
If this person knowingly abused this relationship and doesn’t plan to change or improve upon themself, you have every right to break ties the way you feel most comfortable with. However, this advice only applies to those who don’t fall under that category.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I did it.
I dropped them.
Never thought I’d be here.
ya know that one friend that is constantly coming to you bc they know they can vent w/ out u shutting them up? and they don’t actually care about what you’ve got going on? and if they do show interest it’s only bc they can use that to their advantage? yeah you should drop that “friend”. don’t put up w bullshit, girlies 👐
1/? i ditched one of my friends because she's kind of manipulative and horribly rude but i don't think she really knows she is or means to be and i went on her tumblr and she posted about me (i think) and i feel horrible and i don't want to go back
2/2 to her and get treated bad again but i feel so guilty and i don't known what to do... she apologized and asked for me back a while ago when the same situation happened and said she'd try but she never did...
----------------------------------------------------
Hi darling, hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself. :)
I’m going to be honest here. Any person who is rude and manipulative to you, isn’t a friend in my book. Friends are people who care about you and accept you for who you are and what you stand for. Friends are there for you, aren’t rude or mean. They are good people.
To me, it sounds like your friend happens to be a toxic friend and in that case, I think its good that you dropped her as a friend. You don’t need someone in your life who wont treat you right or give you the peace of mind to be a good friend.
I have some tips on how you can talk to your friend about how you feel:
Find a place to talk where there are no distractions
Speak calmly and clearly. Avoid yelling and swearing
Give her examples of how you feel.
SHOW her how you feel
Allow her to speak her mind as well
Allow some time to pass if things don’t go as planned
Keep an open mind abput how you’re feeling. She might be feeling the same way.
Keep in mind her feelings about everything
I’ve found you some links too:
How to Tell Someone You Don’t Want to Be Their Friend …
Should your friendship end? - AllTheTests.com
What’s your Relationship With Your Best Friend?
How to Politely Stop Being Friends With Someone - wikiHow
How to End a Friendship: 12 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow
How To End A Friendship | Psychology Today
How to drop a friendship (tips)
Do not make a conflict where there isn’t one. As in, if the friendship seems to be on it’s way out anyway, and you’re naturally hanging out and talking with each other less, don’t tell them you don’t want to be their friend anymore. Just continue to make new friendsand talk to them less and eventually you won’t be their friend anymore. You’ll save hurt feelings and stress, even if it takes a bit longer. Plus, there’s room to make friends again if you leave it off on a good note.
Make sure to get back anything you loaned to them before you stop being friends with them.
Eventually, if you hang out with other friends, you may eventually just drift apart.
If she/he tries to apologize when you say your piece about ending the friendship, say something like “Sorry, but it won’t make up for all the bad things you’ve done, I would like to keep a distance.”
Talk about how awesome your friends she/he doesn’t like and then she/he will get the hint you don’t want to hang out.
After deciding to end a friendship, if you still see them at work, try and focus on doing your own business. It’s okay to move on and be happy.
10 tips on how to build stronger friendships:
Choose friends wisely. You do not have to be everyone’s friend. Choose to be friends with people who build you up, not tear you down. Choose friends who inspire you and welcome you, not alienate and insult you. You can’t choose the family you are born into, but you can choose your friends.
Listen. Listen closely to what the other person is saying. Let that person know that you hear them. Ask clarifying questions. Summarize what you’ve heard. Though helpful, it does not always have to be through words. Eye contact and body language are also important ways of showing someone you are listening.
Respond carefully. Think before you speak – especially if you are angry. Sometimes, taking a moment to think about what you say before you start blurting things out will spare hurt feelings and bruised pride. Also, when friends feel like it is okay to be themselves around you, they trust you. Choose your words with care.
Avoid consistently giving advice or trying to fix all of your friend’s problems. By all means, if a friend asks for your advice, give it. They might want you to proofread an important email before it is sent out. Maybe they are struggling with a relationship. Perhaps life is throwing them a curve ball and they need your support or insight. Don’t wiggle your way into every aspect of your friend’s life, telling them how to be the star of their own show. Give them room to process things and make their own decisions.
Play fair. Avoid trying to one-up your friends. Eventually your friends won’t want to play with you anymore.
Be authentic. Be yourself. Be honest. We all test our relationships by throwing something out there about our true nature. We then hide behind a corner, head peeking out, waiting for the response. If someone can’t accept you for who you are, developing a relationship with them will be hard. Don’t shortchange yourself by denying your beliefs, values, and point of view, for the sake of fitting in. You won’t be doing anyone any favors.
Communicate openly and honestly. Developing communication with a person can take time – and trust! Ask your friends what you can do for them. Share what you have to offer. Don’t be afraid to let people know what you need. Share what is necessary, but don’t dominate conversation. When a problem arises, work through it together.
Accept your friends for who they are. On your search for friends who can accept your authentic self, keep in mind – other people are looking for the same thing. We all want people who love us for who we are.
Respect their choices. It is okay to disagree. If your friend decides to make a move when you think standing still is the right thing to do, let them do their thing. If you’ve given your advice and your friend sees things differently, step aside. What your friend is doing might be right for their life but not yours. They might be making a mistake, but if it doesn’t kill them, maim them, or leave them in a coma, hopefully they can learn from the experience. And, if it will kill them, lock them in a closet and don’t let them out until they’ve forgotten why you trapped them in there in the first place.
Be the kind of friend you want others to be for you. You want friends who are honest, kind, compassionate, fair, not judgmental, authentic, and intelligent. Be that person first and you’ll be more likely to attract that kind of friend into your life.
(source + more info here.)
How to Make Friends:
Dr. Nerdlove: How to Make Friends
Dr. Nerdlove: How do I Make Friends?
How to Make Friends Easily and Strengthen the Friendships You Have
How to Make Friends if You’re an Introvert
13 Ways to Make Friends
How to Make Friends
How to Make Friends and Get a Social Life
How to Make Friends
11 Ways to Turn Strangers Into Friends
Dr. Nerdlove: How to Be Charming
Dr. Nerdlove: Never Run Out of Things to Talk About
Dr. Nerdlove: Talk to Anyone, At Any Time
Dr. Nerdlove: 5 Secrets to Make People Like You
How to Talk to People
How Do I Talk to People When I Have Social Anxiety Disorder
10 Tips to Talk to Anyone About Anything
The 4 Step Plan to Not Suck at Talking to People
How to Talk to Someone You’ve Never Met
Keep me updated? I’d love to hear back from you and see how you’re doing and if my advice was helpful :) Take care and don’t forget to smile. You’re amazing!!
