An Open Letter To A Hipster
Dear Mr/Miss Hipster, First off I'd like to start by apologizing. I apologize for all of the snide remarks that I've made under my breath to you as we cross on the street. All the jokes I've made at you offense. If it makes you feel any better it was all out of jealousy. You see, I'm 28. I was already stuck in my ways when this new trend came in. I thought it was just a fad. I thought it was all appearance based. You had to wear flannel and a fedora to fit it. Or skinny jeans and a hat full of pins. After getting to know you I see it's not. It's about not caring what other people think of you. That's not why I'm jealous though. I'm jealous because you got it sooner than I did. You realized that acting like a normal person is what's causing you to be so weird. You found out that we're all weird. It took me 28 years to figure it out and here you are at 18 or 19 with the same conclusion. It took a balancing act of depression, drug abuse, and self motivation for me to get here and you come rolling up beside me on your longboard with your hair neat and liver still fully intact. Nobody had a friend that could get LSD and Molly when I was your age. We had Nati Light and dirt weed, and even that was 30 an eighth. I didn't even smoke until I was 17 because of the scare campaigns that they would shove down our throats. You get actual facts from doctors telling you the pros and cons. So just remember when the next generation comes in and you're in my shoes, don't hate them just because they're grasping things quicker than you. Just know that in another 20 years their going to be in the same predicament that you are... And we'll see how they handle it.