Marinaked, Ch. 7
Marinaked Archive
Chat Noir had not had a good day.
To start with, there’d been the whole Marinette problem. Every single time she so much as breathed behind him his chest had gotten tight, the tips of his ears burning, as he was forcibly reminded of what he’d seen, as well as the content of some of his filthier dreams; it was a wonder he’d been able to concentrate at all, to write notes beyond Naked Mari Naked Mari Naked Mari.
And then—and then he’d lost his shirt during the Akuma fight. Embarrassing enough on its own, but normally he could’ve expected Ladybug’s professionalism to keep the rest of the team in line. Instead, the attitude he’d respected since day one and come to expect as a given had utterly evaporated: Ladybug had been basically drooling over his abs. She’d been staring at him the way Plagg looked at Camembert right before he swallowed it whole, like she wanted to just—well. And then... he’d basically had to get naked again for Ladybug to cast the cure—only for her to get so distracted staring at him that she’d dropped the pajamas about four stories, and Queen Bee had had to swing down and grab them because nobody else had been in any condition to concentrate (especially with Carapace absolutely boggled over his sneak peek of his girlfriend’s outfit for the evening).
Too little sleep and the constant bouncing of his thoughts between the two women was frying his poor kitty brain. Honestly, he was lucky he’d made it to patrol at all, much less without tripping over his own two feet—or over something else that was making it rather hard for him to run.
Though his partner for the evening certainly seemed to think otherwise.
"Ugh!” Queen Bee yelled from a rooftop across the street, throwing up her hands. “You are utterly useless tonight, you know that?”
Chat shook his head, trying to dispel thoughts of Marinette’s fingers on his skin or Ladybug’s lips on his face. “S-Sorry!” he yelped. “I’ll... hang on. Be there in a sec.”
Queen Bee groaned. “What’s the point?” she said. She bent her legs, bounding across the street to land next to him with a scatter of shingles. “You’re just going to keep mooning over her all evening anyway, might as well stop here.”
Chat grumbled. He wanted to say he wasn’t mooning, but... he was. He totally was.
Queen Bee clapped his shoulder. “Come on, Hairball,” she said. “Why the long face? I figured you’d be happy you finally got with Ladybug.”
Chat narrowed his eyebrows and shot her a sidelong glance. “Got with?”
Queen Bee frowned. “Wait,” she said. “You’re not...?”
Chat snorted, shaking his head, and decided that standing was for chumps. He collapsed onto his butt.
”Oh, come on!” Queen Bee said, joining him on the ground/roof much more gracefully, crossing her legs as she sat. “We all saw the way she was looking at you today, you had to have done something.”
Chat shook his head and shrugged. “If something happened, I don’t know about it.”
“Well, damn,” Queen Bee said. She put a finger to her chin. “So... she’s still available...?” she said, more to herself than Chat.
“Bee,” Chat growled.
Bee’s eyes widened and she clenched her fists against the tiles of the roof. “I said that out loud?” she said, a horrified blush filling her cheeks.
Chat snorted again, the settled back onto his arms. “Hey, uh, Chloé?” he said. “You’re in the same class as... as Marinette Dupain-Cheng, right?”
Queen Bee blinked, then raised an eyebrow. “You know her?”
”Yeah, she’s a...” Chat bit his lip. “She’s a friend.”
Bee’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my god,” she said, shoving his shoulder. “You have a crush!”
Chat crossed his arms above his head and ducked, trying to ward off further snacks to the upper body. “I do not!” he yelped, but it sounded weak even to him. He could feel his human ears burning as his face turned red, and he sighed, lowering his arms and looking at Queen Bee with what he hoped was a plaintive expression. “Please,” he said. “Don’t tell Ladybug.”
Queen Bee placed her hand over her mouth, fingers touching her lips, trying to hold in her laughter but not really doing that at all.
”I’m serious!” Chat yelped. His face fell. “She’ll think I’m... she’ll... she’ll think I’m a cad.”
”Oh, Chat,” Bee said, placing her hand on his shoulder. “You can do better than Dupain-Cheng.” She waved her other hand in a sort of half-shrug. “Besides, you wouldn’t stand a chance.”
Chat turned to her, questioning.
Bee sighed. “You know my friend Adrien Agreste? The model?”
Chat’s lips twisted upward in a wry grin.
Bee nodded. “She’s completely head-over-heels for him,” she said, and Chat felt his heart leap. Marinette... she liked him? Like... more than like?
He almost didn’t notice when Queen Bee looked away and her eyes grew somber. “Nobody else has ever been able to catch her eye,” she murmured, her voice dripping with disappointment.
Chat blinked. “Wait a second,” he said. “You—do you have a crush?”
”What!?” Bee shrieked, throwing her hands up, palms toward him. “No, I—I’m not—I don’t—I’m straight...” She trailed off, horrified.
Chat smirked. “Are you telling me,” he said, “that you wouldn’t kiss Ladybug if you had the chance?”
Bee grimaced. “That doesn’t count,” she muttered. “Everyone would.”
Chat opened his mouth to reply, but then his cat ears twitched at the familiar wizz-crack of Ladybug’s yo-yo. He turned, confused—it wasn’t her turn to patrol, what was she...
Ladybug tripped halfway up the roof, rolling forward and smacking straight into Chat's chest. They both stumbled, but he wrapped his arms around her, trying his best to hold her up.
"Thissss... it’s your fault, you stupid..." She jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "Stupid... pretty... face!" She giggled, then went limp, collapsing into Chat's arms.
"Ladybug?" Chat gasped. "Are you okay?"
"Mmmmmmfine," she drawled. Then she giggled. "Don't tell Tikki," she whispered. "She thinks I'm home."
"Oh my god," Queen Bee said, covering her mouth. "She's drunk."
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