#interview with the vampire#iwtv#the vampire armand#assad zaman
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Next Stop Confusion
Originally appeared in the S.F. Examiner on Mar. 5, 2020.
With the RSA conference in town last week, The City finally felt alive again. After weeks of struggling to survive, there were finally enough people with expense accounts willing to take taxis.
On Wednesday night, numerous RSA-related events were happening throughout Union Square and South of Market.
At 10 p.m., I’m on my way to check out…
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Bizarre Love Triangle
Originally appeared in the S.F. Examiner on Feb. 20 2020.
“Wow, I can’t believe I’m in a real taxi,” the girl in my backseat slurs, her words as boozey as her breath. “I didn’t think taxis even existed anymore.”
“Oh, there’s still a few of us around,” I respond absently, wondering how anyone could fail to notice the numerous multi-colored vehicles circling The City all day and night. I resist…
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More Travel Adventures with Chris and Beth Ann
More Travel Adventures with Chris and Beth Ann
I know y’all love my travel stories, right? I am here to entertain and today’s installment of Traveling with Chris and Beth Ann is just one of many.
While it is fresh in my mind I thought i would start your week off right and share the latest in our escapades.
Saturday morning we got up at 4 am to make our early flight out of Asheville to Ohio. The week will be filled with family time (both…
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“I need pizza!”
Virginia’s drunk. Hanging out the window and screaming at pedestrians.
She and her companion, the guy who actually requested the ride, Will, have decided they need pizza before they go back to her place in SoMa.
“I know the best place for pizza. And it’s open late!”
She’s telling me about the place and anybody else who might listen, even people on the street. “We’re getting pizza!”
On Mission, I pull up next to a cab. Virginia starts haranguing the driver.
“What’s so Luxurious about Luxor?” She sneers.
I glance over and see the cabbie look at me, the phone on my dash and the drunk girl in my back seat. Shakes his head.
Virginia yells at his two passengers, “Who takes cabs anyway? What’s wrong with you people?”
I cringe and stare straight ahead. When the light turns green, the cabbie speeds off.
“Stop right here!” Virginia screams in front of the pizza joint.
I flip a bitch but don’t quite make the turn. Have to back up. An SUV is speeding towards me down Mission. Swerves to make the light. A girl in the passenger seat yells, “DUMBASS!”
“FUCK YOU!!” Virginia yells.
She and Will get out of the car. They both shout, “PIZZA!” and take off down the sidewalk.
This is how people die, drunk passengers. Now I understand open container laws.
Damn it must suck to work for AAA on New Year's Eve
