Apr 6, 2024
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Drunken HAIKYUU!! Ships Texts
[Iwaoi]
Oikawa: IWA-CHAN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BE MY ALIEN
Iwaizumi: WTF? Are you drunk again, Shittykawa?
Oikawa: IWA-CHAN THERE'S AN ALIEN OVER HERE
Iwaizumi: ... just stay where you are I'll come kick your ass
Oikawa: YOU'LL KISS MY ASS???
Iwaizumi: Put your fucking glasses on you shitty nerd.
[Kuroken]
Kuroo: yo Kenma guess what
Kenma: ?
Kuroo: i'm pregnant with your baby
Kenma: Kuro are you drunk?
Kuroo: how d'ya know? u psychic?
Kenma: Kuro you're a guy.
[Bokuaka]
Bokuto: AKaAshii!!!
Akaashi: Yes, Bokuto-san?
Bokuto: &^!$6132YGASTDREA$$%
Akaashi: Are you drunk, Bokuto-san?
Bokuto: HJADU$#%^YGFR$EDFG
Akaashi: ... I guess I'll come pick you up.
Bokuto: HIS&T^%TYGHFTRDRFC
Akaashi: I'm calling Kuroo-san. Please stay right where you are.
The Text from Saitou Meme: 18, from Saito TO Amagiri
18. A drunk text from Saito to Amagiri via Tokugawa Mobile™
Editor’s Note: I assume that Saito-san or one of the Inspectors managed to “acquire” the Oni cell phone numbers from iOniSystems. Also, I did not correct all of the occasional misspellings and apparently nether did the TokuMob spellchecker.
Amagiri-san
While it would be unwise of me to give advice to one who can only be considered an enemy at the present time I have been considering this issue [Ed.’s note: one suspects over several bowls of sake] and it troubles me that you decline to use a sword notwiagkdjomf [Ed.’s note: notwithstanding?] the advantage it provides in battle in terms of reach and damage.
Although upon consideration the latter point is perhaps less relevant as between your own kind since slashing damage seems to heal very quickly. Except that it must be extraorfidhfjlly [?] difficult to sever a neck or pierce a heart without a sword. If you have a good technique for stopping a heart with a blow I would be interested in knowing what it is. On the whole however I am led to believe that [obscure character limit]
your technique is primarily aimed at non-lethal combat in accordance with other comments you have made. Given that even you find Kazama Chikage’s behaviour to be rpugga repugnant at times your decision not to use a sword appears to be foolish. This is a word I have heard you use before. By the way the Shinsengumi have not forgiven you for Heisuke’s injury and we will probably avenge him at some point. [Ed.’s Note: this threat doesn’t sound very emphatic. Or imminent.]
[Ed.’s Note: one can imagine Saito-san reading over his text at this point and recognizing having strayed from the key topic (swords).]
I am writing to suggest what type and make of sword to choose in case you decide to start using a blade. Apparently I have already given my opinion to the lamp and now it wants me to direct my advice on swords elsewhrtr.
Upon consideration I find this unlikely since I have no reason to give a lamp advice on sword selection since it has no arms.
Here is my advice:
Ed.’s note: A tedious fulsome discussion about swords follows, broken only my TokuMob’s strangely shifting character limit. The learned although occasionally misspelled dissertation is interrupted as follows, and there is no further text:
Saito-san Thank you for your text. I must advise you that we will be changing our phone numbers shortly. I trust that one day we will be using the same cellular system. Regards, Amagiri K.
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